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Can't read my own handwriting

It was very dark out the whole dream, like midnight dark. I was working in a several story high office building, but it wasn't like a skyscraper or anything. Just a several story brick building, very boring on the outside, and it looked a lot like the building from The Office.

Anyway, the woman in the cubicle kind of behind and across from mine was maybe in her mid to late 50s, stocky but not fat, with frosted dark blondish hair. She wore a sort of suit jacket and shell with a skirt and some low heels. Her jacket was sort of a pinky color, her skirt was more of a taupe. I can't remember if she wore glasses, but I don't think so.

There was another woman there, a middle-aged black woman who was very no-nonsense, and I think maybe she was supposed to be one of the Human Resources people.

I vaguely recalled the older lady leaving, but I turned round to talk to her and she was gone... I asked where she went, and the other woman told me she was gone - as in, gone for good, she'd left the company. I was a little bit surprised by this, since I hadn't realized she was leaving, otherwise I'd have said goodbye.

So the other woman was leaving for the night, and I didn't want to be in the building all alone, so I decided to leave, too. I got out into the parking lot and she got into a very tiny white car that looked sort of like an older BMW but very, very small. I recall thinking that it was a very expensive car, and that someone else in the company had one, too. Anyway, she drove off. I didn't have a car. It was extremely dark outside, and sort of rainy.

I briefly woke up. When I started dreaming again, I wasn't lucid, and the office building had turned into a really swanky hotel. I went back inside. The lobby was really brightly lit, and I recall there being a lot of gold stuff... maybe the carpet was even a gold color... it was fancy in the "trying too hard to be fancy" sense, where it came off as not being as fancy as it was trying to be (but still pretty fancy). Not exactly gaudy, either, though.

Suddenly I was a kung fu master who had somehow ended up getting a job at this hotel... for whatever reason. I don't recall what it was. I just recall going into sort of a ballroom/meeting room and everybody was completing handwriting assignments. Not quite calligraphy. I recall a professor coming through and grading them by marking them with streaks of watercolor, and he gave me a really bad grade, which I was pissed off by because my handwriting was clearly very good! I'd just written in a different language than everybody else. So we argued about it - I don't recall the exact words, or even if there were words at all, I think there was more of the sense that I was protesting than me actually saying anything specifically and the assumption that an argument had happened - and then eventually he wiped off the bad mark he'd put on it.

After that, I went out into the lobby and Donald Trump was there with his daughters. He was arguing with the receptionist.

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So I ordered a FitBit yesterday. My boyfriend has one because I got him one for his birthday, and I'm interested in the heart rate tracker and sleep tracker. It's hard for me to tell how much sleep I get, and I know I wake up a lot.

Night of October 18, 2013. Friday.



In my dream, an unknown dark-haired female of about thirty or younger is working as a secretary for a business man, apparently working on at least three pages from his (handwritten in blue ink) dream journal at an outdoor cafe in Brisbane (the separate pages of which are on a chair to her left) in copying them onto the computer after writing them out herself prior to that (not sure why she has to write them out by hand again - maybe his writing is a bit hard read, thus difficult to directly work from). The dreams appear to be shorter or concisely summarized, some made up of about three smaller paragraphs of only about four or five sentences.

After a time (I think while working on the third dream journal page), she suddenly seems gripped by some sort of incredible power that completely takes over her body and she sinks back in the chair and writes perfectly and evenly on a mostly blank page while her eyes seem rolled up into her forehead (not due to an entity - but the universe itself). She writes a formula over the page, which takes up about four and a half lines of larger writing. I do not remember it, but it seemed fairly viable at first, though eventually ridiculously layered or complex. Part of it is relating to something like C5 times C6 plus C5 times C6, seen as ((C5 * C6) + (C5 * C6)), so there are also embedded sections using sets of double parentheses. Near the middle of the page, it appears some of the formula is logarithmic, somehow caused by writing over vague impressions of numbers which were already on the paper - possibly related to the business address in a series of pale sample letterheads or watermarks. It looks as if it is something like C base 5 multiplied by C base 6 multiplied by C base 7 and so on (a very odd concept I have never seen in this way), also with some sort of nth (!) factorial to show permutations (quite possibly relating to all the other dimensions or “hidden facets” of the universe or of time/eternity). However, it also seems like another section uses a similar or the same (business watermark?) pattern but in exponential progression (relative to the same watermark being used as a superscript rather than a subscript), for example C to the fifth times C to the sixth times C to the seventh, etc.

However, I am not sure, for a time, if such as C5 (or C6 using the same line of reasoning) would mean variable C times 5 or instead, some sort of computer code formula with C5 representing a BASIC (string) variable of one value (which would not have to be a multiple of five). However, overall, over time, it looks like a plain algebraic construct - so it must mean a standard operation of C times 5, C times 6, etc.

In my dream, the whole thing came out very clearly and slowly so that I was aware - exactly - of what it all was as she was writing it, but now I have mostly forgotten it, which is kind of annoying really, because I think some of the watermark-based nuances might have been a false “replay” of her actual prior writing. In my dream, she comes to with an unusual look of uncertainty on her face.

For the past few nights, I've had dreams about writing and learning to improve my handwriting. the night before last, I dreamed I was in a house taking part in a calligraphy class. Last night, I dreamed I was back in grade school (although I wasn't any younger), learning to write in cursive for a contest.

I wonder what this means, if anything. My handwriting has always been a bit of an annoyance to me. It hasn't changed since fourth grade, and sometimes people find it impossible to read. Maybe my subconscious is using that as a symbol of something else going on in my life.

Or maybe not. Maybe it's just "dream gibberish". But the fact that it's happened two nights in a row really intrigues me.

Morning of October 17, 2009. Saturday.



In my less clear (and less aware) dream state, it occurs to me that zebras have English writing all over their bodies as a “normal” and natural type of pattern. Each stripe represents the form of a letter (and apparently punctuation in some cases), though elongated. Typically, the “messages” are positive but some are sarcastic. This (the “sarcastic message”) seems to relate to spending too much time looking at a particular zebra within a larger herd (or “zeal”, an unusual term for a herd of zebras).

There is an association with an older dream where zebras are said to be fictional animals that certain people (of certain mentalities) do not believe in. Apparently, via the dream’s flawed “logic”, only people who are said to be delusional view a white horse and a black horse through a fence somehow and mistake the two animals for one (that is, as a zebra - again supposedly a fictional or mythological animal in this scenario). At the time, this seemed to be a sarcastic statement relating to the disbelief of the existence of zebras (in my dream only), which seemingly related to denial of the unknown or unexplainable in thinking something can only be black or white or that everything is easily labelled or explainable - that is, either this or that.

Mostly, this was influenced by an educational worksheet called “Zebras with Zero Stripes in a Zigzag Cage”, where the young student fills in a list of words to make the “stripes”.