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Journal from 06/23/2023. This is one of my PR dreams that was especially fun!

Since I haven't been journaling my PR much, I'll include some backstory for what's been going on.

I started this particular dream in my territory, which is a dreamed replica of my childhood home (I really should come up with a name for it). The property spans about 2 acres. It's by the coast just outside of an isolated fishing town.

This place is dreary and full of death, guarded by my zombie hoard and packs of wolves. The whole place is surrounded by towering trees, which is where the zombies and wolves usually creep in from.

The home itself is a small two-story shack. The ground floor is half kitchen (with concrete floor), and half garage (which I'm pretty sure is haunted).

Recently, I've decided to put a portal to hell here. It was originally in the field, but I moved it inside the house to be the kitchen to go with my haunted garage (seems only right to have them be side-by-side).

Specifically, I made this a portal to the Helluva Boss universe hell, because that version of hell is fun. I figured it would help liven up the place.

And boy, it worked! Lots of terrifying entities have been coming through my portal ever since I added it, ranging from spicy to downright malicious.

This has resulted in a few lucid nightmares for me, but that's fine—it was my intention to expose myself to nightmares in a controlled environment like this in order to overcome my fears. I used to have a severe fear of demons, ghosts, and other hellish beings... *cough* This was pretty embarrassing and debilitating, since I live a good portion of my life in dream realms as the supposed Lucid Guardian.
What kind of lucid guardian is afraid of ghosts? Bah!
So this is why I've done this to myself, and I've since made breakthroughs because of it. I'm not easy to scare anymore. I can deal with zombies, ghosts, demons, you name it.

Anyway, I was standing in the kitchen looking at my nifty new hell portal. It's invisible now (used to be more noticeable). I can sense its presence, though. When I walk through it, there's no immediate signs that I've entered hell, but very subtle differences in the atmosphere clue me in. I can feel the emptiness in the air and something ominous.
Everything looks like a mirror image of the same location, but it's not the same.

There was a native mortal human visiting my house in this dream. She unknowingly went through my portal, so I followed her through. I crept behind her as a shadow while she wandered outside.

Human girl noticed the dark clouds rolling in and seemed rightly unsettled by the place. The sky was a mixture of ashen clouds and yellow fog lit by distant fires.
I revealed myself to her, telling her that she had stumbled into another realm. With glee, I warned her that she better turn back.... Unless she wanted to brave the demons and animated dead.
Only a fearless soul will survive in a place like this. So which will it be? I gave her the choice to go back, but I'll be honest that it wasn't without provocation. I was having too much fun!
I asked if she'd cave in to cowardice and flee for her life like scared little mortals do, or dance with me?

I drew flames up out of the ground, engulfing my home in a blaze to demonstrate that this was no joke. I began a musical number (yes, like a Disney supervillain!), dancing and singing to a variation of that "It's Tough To Be a God" song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZKE10BQlXY).
It was fun coming up with lyrics on the spot! This was my favorite part of the dream.
Through my own version of the lyrics (I forget the exact details), I conveyed my identity as a dream deity, revealing that her universe was my lucid dream. Isn't the nature of reality frightening?

Stolas (from Helluva Boss) came through my portal during this, so I pulled him into it without skipping a beat. He passively went along with the number as I used him as part of my demonstration to the human of the kinds of hellish beings she'd find here if she stayed.

Right as I was singing about being a dream god, I woke up because my significant other rolled over in bed and slapped me in the face, mumbling in opposition. lmao
She was half asleep. When I told her what she interrupted, she said (jokingly) that somebody had to put a stop to me because I was getting too cocky, and that's why she did it.

The dream god Achilles heel! One second you're singing about having unlimited dream god powers, and next thing you know you disappear because waking up is all part of the gig. That's so annoyingly hilarious! I love it.

I gotta do more of these.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

During some teaching, my teacher is hanging out with his students outside. I can't talk to him, because he is surrounded. He then says he is going to a photo shop and have lunch. People go after him as a group, but only his closest entourage goes inside the shop with him. Everyone else stays outside sitting on the floor.
Then my name is called through an intercom but no one seems to hear it, but me. I don't know what I am supposed to do. So I go to the shop. At the entrance someone tells me to go around and I'll find out why I was called. I see a guy at the intercom. He tells me to wait. A door opens and my teacher appears, very blushed, making a sign for me to follow him. I go inside and it is not just some shop storage or backroom but a hallway with many other doors. He goes down some stairs and I notice something really odd going on. The staircase is very large and goes down very deep. I notice some strange characters and Illuminati type shit symbolism on the carvings and paintings on the walls. Clearly this is no ordinary photo shop. I feel like my teacher isn't really him and I say it out loud. Everything stops and the atmosphere changes. Around me I see ghosts and female demonesses. I am told to play along or else... I am afraid because I am stuck here. The creature posing as my teacher lets go of his mask and shows to be some demon, although pretty handsome, with a young Ethan Hawke's face. He asks me something (don't remember) and I say no. As a consequence, some weird monsters with soup face (I cant explain either, their face was simply a big ball of floating soup) come along and start biting me. I try to avoid them, but I can't outrun them, so then I have to fight. Inside the soup face there is a mouth with shark like teeth. They hurt like hell. I brake one's jaw and throw the other on the ground and step on it. Then try to convince the demon that I give up and I chose to play along. I say that I am sorry and I speak softly, trying to be convincing. Actually, it isn't hard, because he is so fit and yummy that it is no effort to try to seduce him. But he sees through my bullshit and tells me so. I chose to just stay quiet and not cooperate. I get ready to be torn apart by demons. I prefer to die like that than to make any sort of deal with them. But nothing happens. He just asks me to follow him again somewhere. He then takes me to some elevator and we exit back on the hallway area upstairs. He just takes me to the door I came through and lets me out. I can't believe it.
Then he is back into my teacher's form and waves at Ariadni, who gets up all excited. I yell to her "don't go, it's a trap". But no one seems to hear me or care for my opinion. Also, behind the door I see Fernanda, looking all fancy, smiling at her and inviting her in, saying it is perfectly fine and good. I recall that she always admitted to be willing to sell her soul to the devil if necessary, so it's no surprise she became the devil's assistant. The door shuts and I worry for Ariadni.

This was a very profound and symbolic dream. I don't have too much time to write this, so I may avoid some additional details, but I will get the main point across.

I am a farmer in this dream. There's not too much detail about the farm itself. There is a very basic farm house and a corn field. Behind the house is what looks like a pothole or sinkhole. I am working in the backyard doing something to the earth (like maybe tilling). I discover the sinkhole and decide to start digging. I get a shovel and dig and the earth starts coming up in big blocks like in Minecraft. I get down deep pretty fast. I reach what appears to be bedrock, but upon closer inspection, is actually just a flat concrete slab. I notice around the edges at the bottom of the hole are a bunch of 2 x 4" wooden support beams holding up the earth above it. Sort of like if you were to look underneath somebody's backyard deck. The height of the space is only a couple feet. I have a flashlight with me and see that the space goes back for miles and miles as my light just fades into blackness. I can see board after board lined up in rows. I'm perplexed to see that my entire farm is being held up by these small wooden boards on top of a concrete foundation. A kind of creepy vibe comes over me; what the hell is this? The hole in the ground is square (like I said, it's like Minecraft), so it has four sides at the bottom. I examine the three sides and they all look the same going off into the distance. However, the fourth side appears to have a plywood board several feet back from the hole. I'm really curious, so I begin to crawl under the gap. It's very short, but just tall enough for me to crawl under. When I reach the board, I see that it's just leaning up against the support beams, so I push it aside. What I saw behind this gave me shivers. It opens up into a huge room with a much taller ceiling. The height of the room appears to be something like 20 feet tall, and the size of it appears infinite just like on the other sides of the hole. Only a few feet behind the board is a metal chain link fence. I shine my light back there, slightly illuminating these large structures that are all lined up behind the fence. At first, it's very hard for me to see what they are. I discover they are a bunch of huge reddish-brown pawns; just as tall as the room. You know, like pawns from a Chess game. They look kind of creepy like their faces are the heads of real people attached or something. They are also intermixed with huge electrical insulators. The kind that you see on big high tension power lines, except even bigger; they are the same size as the pawns. I crawl out into the larger room next to the fence. I walk along the fence and slowly with each row of pawns or insulators, they start looking more and more creepy. A weird feeling comes over me that if I keep walking, I will encounter dead bodies. I didn't actually see any, but there was just something about the progression that made me feel like I was being led into hell. The pawns kept getting redder and redder almost like they were covered in blood. As I walk everything keeps getting harder and harder to see and eventually fades to black when I wake up.

Crazy. I think I feel for the people of Europe and what's going on there with the farming crisis. I think that's what this dream was about. I got some chills just writing this. I actually had this dream about two weeks ago now and just didn't get around to writing about it, but I think it's one of my most profound dreams so far.

Best wishes to the people of Europe.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Riverstone and Nighthawk at what I think is his place. There is a table with a feast and we are chillin. He is laying down on the couch. We have some weird interaction and I feel like he wants to speak with Riverstone alone, so I leave. He says he has some IT issues and hints that I might help out, so I offer to do so and he instructs me to go to an office room down the hallway. Outside on the hallway it feels like a hostel or guest house, not a private house. And indeed the office looks more like a cyber café, with dozens of computers and printers and people on many desks. I sneak peak into someone's work and seems like he is writting a thesis. I spot a pc that is the only one without someone working on it. By its side there are also some papers, of someone clearly working with it and maybe on a break, and I almost decide to steal the pc and leave with it, but then I don't. Instead I need to pee and go look for a bathroom. Weirdly, I have to go out on the street and walk back and forth some stone stairway at the top of some avenue, because the toilet stalls are all lined up on the sides of the street and stairway. I finally find one free, but despite my efforts, can't pee. (Wake up and really need to pee)

I am in some weird surreal place, at first can't really characterize it, but looks kinda hellish, a barren land with a lake of lava or black oil on fire. I notice there is a big fuss and some dudes are fighting with some weird kind of weapons, and I try to walk away discreetly, but then all eyes turn to me because I have on my hands a bigger and more spectacular weapon than theirs. The weapons are hard to describe, but are sort of an eliptical light saber which we grab in the middle (which is void, maybe some kind of force field, but my hands can hold it). Everyone feels like I am challlenging them, so they stop fighting and start attacking me instead. I fight them off easily.
I think I start becoming lucid and just drop the dream. Find myself in a dark empty space and decide to rip apart the dream fabric, quite literally, like a paper scenario. Behind it is total void and I plunge into it. The fall is short and I land with my back onto what appears to be the lower bed on a bunkbed. To my right is a wall, to the left is another bunkbed. People are sleeping in those. I get up and when walking to the door I have this clear feeling I should look up to whomever is on the top bunkbed. He just raised his head. It is my teacher. He smiles and extends his hand. I grab his hand and kiss it. I smile back and say "I am finally here" and we just smile at each other for a while. He comes down. A male attendant also gets up from another bed. I am surprised he can also see me. My teacher walks outside with me, and we are followed by his attendant, who is acting like a body guard, but not against me, against anyone else we might come across. We enter some kitchen or canteen and my teacher sits on a chair. I am holding his hand still and I lay my head on his lap and wrap my arms around his waist. He suggests I get a chair to and sit, but I hesitate, because I don't want to move. Eventually I agree to get a chair, but then wake up.

22nd April 2021

There are quite a few personal thoughts and notes here but I guess when are dreams ever anything other than personal? But this took me quite a while to type up, which is frustrating on some level.

Fragment:

Playing DII, with the barbarian. I remember I look at the waypoints and see I'm in Act 3 but it's actually hell (Act 4). The colours all look weird, the character looks a fuzzy dark navy blue on some parts. It's generally dark and I am going to where Diablo "lives", I remember going past the hellforge or something.

Very little recall of this dream but it had a strange feel to it, a bit like some of the weirder pre-sleep dreams I used to get as a kid, where reality made no sense with waking physics and was all fuzzy like static noise.

(DFLN) Dream:

Spoiler for Lengthy dream:

I'm in BL, in a dream generated location. I'm feeling preoccupied about basic totems for some reason, something about acquiring more while AFK. I go around to where AH's base is, but it's not at all like her waking life base and is on a different world. I play or hear some voice recording of her, talking about AFK gains and stuff like that. Her voice is soft and quieter than I would expect. Her base is massively unfinished and her character is just sitting here in the middle of it all.

Occasionally I see the character turn or twitch randomly and on closer inspection an interface element reveals that it's possessed by a "PharmBot" user entity, briefly, which in the dream I have knowledge of being a bot that keeps track of peoples' farms and then reports their status on a Discord server. Walking around and seeing the unfinished base, I notice I still have permissions in some parts of it. I think to myself, maybe I can ask for a special permission to be able to finish up her base for her. I feel a sadness of sorts. I talk to H about all of this?

The world is a lush type and green-ish for the most part but there is a dominant pale yellow tint.

Then, I eventually wander off in a random direction and find some creatures over a lava pit place. The dream starts to feel more like DOOM now but visually remains mostly the same. I shoot some energy weapons at the creatures and kill a few of them quickly but I start to feel overwhelmed by their numbers. Some look a bit like cacodemons or something but not quite, and the rest are generic mish-mash. I think I fall in the lava and get annoyed or frustrated by how sticky it is and how I'm going to die and have to come back here.

(recall gap)

I'm in our office/computer room but it's mixed with the old home. I have knowledge of it being where L's room would have been. I'm sitting with someone at the desk, a guy, he's to my left. I'm teaching him something about drawing. He asks me about making a logo and I say that it depends, things can vary based on budget. If he wanted to just spend five on it, then this pen I have that he seems to be interested in, that would do. I forget the conversation details, but this person is a dream character who is a generic friend in the dream's context, though maybe closer than just an acquaintance.

The doorbell rings (I forget the sound it makes) and I go to answer the door. It was day in the office but now I'm in the corridor, it's dark. I make a mistake, instead of going to the hall on the right I go straight through mom and dad's bedroom where mom seems to be sleeping and I go into mom's study. There's a twilight or dawn ambience in here. I realise this isn't the right place to be at all and start to feel rushed to answer the door, turning around and walking quickly back through to the hall, then opening the front door cautiously, not remembering I could have looked through the seeing hole.

The person is a maid and she doesn't look like anyone I know. I wait or ask for an explanation. She's black, though a relatively light tone, not much darker than me in reality. Her hair is sort of curly, medium length and is tied up in a bunch at the top rear of her head. I hold onto the door as we talk, apprehensive for some reason.

She explains that mom's old maid (who I haven't seen in many years) won't be coming anymore because she's been ill and only been getting worse. I'm not told what with, exactly, but there's an implied sense of a condition much like mine.

Spoiler for slightly erotic:

I think because of waking reality, I have an erection in the dream, possibly since I got up and started walking from the office room, though I tried keeping it from seeming obvious. When she walks further into the hall, her right hand brushes past my legs and she doesn't say anything but immediately looks apprehensive and embarrassed.

She says something and feels she must excuse herself for today. I feel I leave an unwarranted poor impression on her.

(gap)

Still at the old home and in the same general dream context, in terms of ambience etc. There's something about dad, he's talking with me and someone else. He tells us about having found a cancer, a melanoma. He has no top on and feels around his right arm with his left hand and finds the point. It's inside, near the join to the forearm. I wonder about removal with chemotherapy and stuff. I have some kind of daydream thing where I see myself having that entire area surgically removed, being left with a hole there very near the inner elbow. It seems excessive and like it would leave me weak because of how much of that area is muscle but I also wonder if the doctors couldn't put in an artificial and flexible latticed matrix of some kind, for the body to use as framework for regeneration, like scaffolding or the beams in a building. But I feel they'd never bother with such a thing.

Spoiler for Notes, spoilered for length:

- AH passed away from cancer earlier this year and one thing I have felt sad about is that what little rights I had left around her base were taken away from me by people I don't even know, even if I understand that her legacy was willingly left to these people, who she did know. I suppose it's made me think about how in my perception, some people just have more "rights" on the memory of someone. It doesn't feel fair, but I guess very little feels fair to me these days.

-- On the topic of fairness, this morning after I got up from bed, I was feeling easily annoyed by some things, mostly environmental issues that I feel unable to help with as an individual, because of the way society is set up. This came about in part because it was a recycling day.

- Dad doesn't have any cancer that we know of and to be honest I think most of the cancer themes in the dream were really just a manifestation of somewhat irrational worries I get about having cancer myself. Especially with AH's passing, I have become somewhat more fearful of having something like that happen to me and the worst of it is that even through these reminders I find myself spending time doing lots of meaningless things. I end up feeling helpless in a sense, feeling like I won't accomplish anything meaningful in my lifetime and that I won't leave a legacy behind that is what I would like to leave behind.

-- This is especially true of my creative activities, where I fear that if I would simply pass away all of a sudden, the things that would be left behind wouldn't reflect enough about how I feel about life, emotions, pain and other certain topics. I feel like the very thing I want to make depictions about (my condition and its limitations) is exactly what stops me from doing something meaningful. I often feel too tired and unable to engage myself into a creative mode, especially lately. The latter half of last year felt decent in creative terms and I thought that because I am being more functional with my current medication that this trend would continue.

- Lately, oddly enough, I tend to recall fairly well what I am thinking of before bed, but I still do not notice any transition into sleep and my thoughts eventually become dispersed anyway. Last night in bed I was thinking about BL:TPS and how its story had been written and how it compared to BL2 and BL3 and how BL1 tied into all of it too. I remember I was also thinking about Freelancer and certain story moments, as well as the game world in general. I had a few thoughts about DV and the members I know a bit better but recall of this is more vague now. I do remember thinking about what OccipitalRed has said recently about consciousness and awareness whilst dreaming in general even in non-lucid contexts.

-- Notably, I don't ever seem to dream about the very last things I think of. Frequently, the subjects I end up dreaming about stem either from pertinent thoughts (conscious or just below the threshold) through a day or from a couple of hours before bed.

- Although I didn't realise it until writing out this DJ entry, I feel like the part of the dream about the maid was a spin on the lusty maid story cliche, something that consciously doesn't attract me very much. The irony here is that the maid that in the dream was ill, was someone who I did feel attracted to when I was a teenager and the maid in the dream had some resemblance to her.

- I did feel some sort of sadness when I learned that mom's former maid was unwell, especially because of the feeling of it being something similar to what I have.

The first thing I can recall is the searing heat. I felt it everywhere. Then I remember a being that the heat radiated from. He was large, taller than buildings. And he had this weapon, kind've like a crossbow but he wasn't shooting bows. It was almost like he was shooting swords at people. I ran. I ran into the elevators and hid from his heat. I realized I was on the surface then. I ran through buildings, across streets. But he was everywhere, there was no escaping. People pointed and ran, there was no screaming but you could see their fear. I ran and ran and ran. The girl I was with got seperated from me. And then there he was. Right behind me. His searing heat radiating off of his flesh like the 5th circle of hell. There was no escaping.

When it began, I was going to the regional spelling bee (which I'm doing IWL ). My nerves were shaky, but it was happening. I was excited, especially since, in the dream, it was taking place in South Korea. My father and I were at SOU, where the spelling bee is being held IWL (it was still SOU, just... In Korea) and walking around campus when we found an adorable animal. It had a huge fluffy tail, little paws, and... A human face?!
However, we thought nothing of it. It was cute and that was all that mattered. It basically had a small, adorable, pinkish purple raccoon body- it seemed to love us, so we decided to take it home. The dream drifted away from the spelling bee, and I was sad that we had to leave Korea. So I came up with some better ideas.
In a Coraline-esque movie, I had seen a character say a poem, and go through a painting, taking her to another world. I decided to do that, and return to South Korea, so I could meet my idols. I remembered the four-line, rhyming poem, and noticed the painting leaning against the wall behind my bed. It contained lots of dark colors and red, reminding me of hell, or Hades. After I said the poem, I took a deep breath, and stuck my hand through the painting. It sucked me in, and I began to fall from about 6 feet up on a wall. The surrounding area was dark- certainly a hellish landscape. I was in a room, though. Albeit a large one. I felt a weirdly strong connection to Kim Taehyung at this point- mainly just thinking of his name. Anyways, as I exited, random dream characters were like "wHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?? YOU'RE FROM THE MORTAL WORLD,, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DOWN HERE, PLEASE GO BACK, THIS PLACE IS CURSED," but I was just like "nah fuck u, im gonna go make out with [my favorite idol]."
This turned out to be a rather large building, but it was all comprised of the same materials, colors, and designs. I found an area which was supposedly [my favorite idol]'s room. His bed was red and black, and there were some dirty clothes scattered around it. I just... Sat there, waiting. Then I just decided to have a walk around this dimension until they kicked me out. Outside of the building, everything was pretty much normal, and I remember walking along a highway alone at night. It was kinda cool. Eventually I returned home, upset that I couldn't make out with [my favorite idol], so I decided to do it another way. A safer way. Lucid dreaming. (Pretty ironic, huh? I didn't even think to do a reality check right then and there.) I basically became lucid immediately, in a new landscape- which just so happened to be the main street of my current Town. I rubbed my hands together very frequently, amazed at how well that strengthened my hold on the dream. I decided to hunt down BTS, so I floated up, until I saw the town in a map view. In the Northeast area, rightwards of the town park, I saw a large square crowd of people with a few in front, on a stage. I assumed that it was them, holding a concert, so I flew over. However, there were NINE people in front, instead of seven. It wasn't them. My dumb ass didn't think to turn around and change them into BTS, but oh well. I don't really remember much after that. I'm happy to be having more LD's and that I used a lucidity strengthening technique, though.

Before waking up, I had a hallucination of a train coming closer. The 'frame' of the train moving reset every second, snapping back to its original position, like in a time loop. A bit later, I learned I could manipulate time and push the train backwards (or make it drive back as time is reversed).

I was standing in a street at a house my family used to live (not). The house was gone and replaced with other, newer houses. A more 'urban' area a bit further down the road (which I recalled had shops and businesses) was also gone and had been suburbanized.

I was with my mom and dad, walking in a forest. We were following my grandpa, who was a good 100 feet in front of us. I suddenly realized he's supposed to be dead. I tell my dad this, who says he sensed grandfather's presence a few days earlier, and after he made a typical grandpa joke, he was sure it was him. We kept following him down the path, but the path and environment started to change. A forest became a burning horizon, and the dirt and leaves of the forest roads turned to smoldering embers. We were walking into Hell. I didn't think too much of it, though. I tried to use my phone camera to record our descent into Hell, which worked (to my surprise). We came up on two buildings. Big farmhouses, but they were old, abandoned and partially overgrown with creepy, unnatural vines. A feeling of intense evil emanated from those buildings. I followed grandpa into one of them. It started to dawn onto me that something wasn't right. There were things he couldn't know, but did (something involving melons on the ground, don't ask). But when he said something sinister in a devilishly evil voice (couldn't see him when this happened), we were all like 'yup, it isn't him', and we noped out of there immediately. What followed was an attempt to escape Hell the way we came. But the path on which we arrived was now covered in logs (?) and we had to climb over them. There was also a ceiling somehow, so we had to crawl through on our stomachs. I looked sideways and saw the demonic face of what used to be my grandfather looking at me. I tried to shield myself from it, as I think it had some kind of ranged attack. Then someone talked to me and said it was a scene from a scary movie.

Still in the hellverse, at the end of a completely unrelated scene. Someone triggered something, causing demons to break out. I tried to escape to the other side of the map (it was a game) by using glitches and walking on top of walls. Once on the other side of the map (where I'd come from), I saw the demon approach me super fast. I realized it was rubberbanding and I wasn't supposed to run away from it. Instead of attacking me, it gives me something. Something with three colors (red, blue and green) that I was supposed to balance? A key?

The next unrelated scene, still in Hell. We were exploring some kind of stone large structure. It looked like an altar, or temple. While exploring a dark room, people started vanishing. I felt an evil presence. We returned outside, to the altar/temple, which turned out to be some kind of huge teleportation stone, a gate between Hell and reality. We were all (dozens of people) gathered on the stone, and around it. I remember hanging from the stone, calling for help and being ignored, and eventually dropping down, walking around and climbing back onto the stone a bit further. Someone used their phone to call someone, and tell them to teleport them back to reality. A voice, representing Hell, answered and said it wasn't up to them to decide if we could leave or not. But then, people started vanishing in rapid succession. I was seeing in third person how I vanished as well. So I was gone, but 'still there'. I saw my family, as it used to be in the 'good old days' (including my younger self), and a voice said they were declared the winners (and cleared to leave Hell).

This morning I was sleeping on a friend's couch and had to get up at 9am for my father's birthday breakfast. I didn't want to miss the alarm and this was stressing me out, which ended up causing several false awakenings.

The first false awakening I wake up and check my phone to see it's 1pm. I freak out and run to the shower.

The second false awakening I wake up around 10:00am and freak out again.

The third false awakening I wake up and a similar thing happens and I'm complaining to moo and kolby that my phone must be broken.

The fourth false awakening I wake up on the other side of the couch looking at my friend jp. At the exact same time we go "I just had four false awakenings." Moo is to the left of me and tells us to repeat it again, which we do. Then we all freak out. I know I had only had three before this so this didn't really add up.

The fifth false awakening I'm lying back on the couch on the normal side thinking this is a dream. The room is dimly lit in a purple color. I can see jp looking at me from the other side of the couch. Looking at the tv, I see a little girl. Her face starts to turn into something like the exorcist. I can hear myself making noises like "aaaah" but I'm not scared at all. Her and jp start to walk towards me. She changes into some sort of clown and I make more scared noises not feeling scared, I can hear jp saying "dude you're so weird." Then the clown morphs into a woman with dark hair dressed in a red dress. I make some sort of noise like I'm attracted to her, then she turns into a man and I make a noise that I'm freaked out. Jp again says that I'm weird.

They get right to my face and I get up, this exploding into a very strange turn of events. The room is turned into some sort of event. I'm watching a commercial of some sort of these weird people, they were changing very rapidly, at some point it's a woman in a black outfit with a black mask and some other things as well. The background was constantly changing, the one I remember now is a hotel room background. The backgrounds looked like green screen effects and the people in front of the backgrounds stood out from them. It was some sort of chant and at the bottom of my vision I can see subtitles in an orange or red font. There's a little thing bouncing from each word as these people are saying the words.

The words are "what the hell is that, what the hell is that" and I thought I might've seen "LOL" to the left and right of that line too. That line kept getting repeated. I keep saying out loud "what the hell is that, what the hell is that" as these backgrounds are changing and people are morphing. The people were indian women dressed in gowns dancing around at some point.

I found myself laying on some kind of raft, floating on a river of boiling lava. It was pretty clear this was Hell, and that river was pretty clearly the famous Styx. I had to be careful moving around on the 'raft' (the raft felt soft, more like a mattress, blanket or mat instead of a wooden raft) as every compression allowed lava onto its surface, touching my hands/ I actually touched the lava a few times, but it didn't do any damage and it didn't hurt. There was a giant three-headed monster on the shore, eating fleeing people left and right. The people were all dressed very modern and casual, and they looked as confused as I was. No one knew how they'd gotten there, only that this place was awful. The monster is of course based on Cerberus, the monster from Greek mythology that guards the Styx in Dante's Inferno. But this version of Cerberus didn't look like a dog. Its neck was long and serpentine, and its heads looked like the head of a Velociraptor or Tyrannosaurus rex. It was the size of a large house. There were also smaller monsters, I can only call them 'demons'. Vicious critters the size of a man. About the environment... It felt very 'alien'. Not at all like a volcanic environment, as people often think of Hell. This felt more like a lava river on Mars or something. Nothing felt familiar. There was a man with a large camera down there, filming the horrible scenes. I was seeing the scene though his lens, now. Then he got caught by Cerberus. The camera fell to the ground, as the beast gobbled him down in one vicious bite. The camera was on the ground, me still seeing the scene though it. Like in the ending of Paranormal Activity, a ghost-like entity attacked the camera as if it knew I was watching. I was scared half to death.

The next scene appeared to be a continuation of the Hell dream. I awoke in a large room, where others were also waking up. My grandmother (on father's side) was there too. She spoke about getting ready for the "next film", or something? We were doing some weird kind of ritual. A satanic ritual?

This dream was far less pleasant than the last one. I was in what I think was a bar? A certain celebrity I've been obsessed with was there. While I was working up the courage to talk to her, tongue tied and not even sure what to say, I noticed another guy I used to know from work (Nick P.) was already confidently chatting her up. Now, in real life, Nick is someone who's going places. He started his own company. He's smart, driven, stylish, sociable, and therefore all the things I am not. Being confronted with "not being good enough" was humiliating. Can I go back to Hell, please?

In the first dream, I was (for the umpteenth time) in my old school, but a good ten years back in time. Oddly students were seated in the hallways instead of classrooms. I left the building and flew off to look for girls (subconscious awareness this wasn't real and I could do with my DC's whatever I want). But suddenly I remembered doing a certain thing to a certain person would accidentally prevent another thing (that's supposed to happen) from happening. I was in the past, after all.

Long, and complicated dream, can't be bothered to write it all down. I'm half human cop, half lizard/demon. I'm in the police station, and walk over to the coffee machine to get some coffee. I get weird looks from the other officers who are seeing me for the first time (the first half-demon cop on the squad). I notice they made the buttons of the coffee machine bigger so I could still use it (I had very big mutant hands).

In a later scene, I'm still the demon-lizard-guy from before. I'm in Hell, fighting off big demons attacking the "base camp" of the good guys. I'm having to solo several big demons, wrestling them by their horns. The humans were reluctant to join in the fight because I looked rather demonic myself. I couldn't get hurt but was still getting thrashed pretty hard by the demons, who were a lot bigger than I was. Luckily, Thor (from the MCU) suddenly appeared and joined in the fight. He knocked out a few demons with his hammer.

Key:
Side Notes (Side Notes)
Title
Dream
Lucid

"Welcome to Hell"

I was at school on the sidewalk, there was a bus in front of us.
I believe I went on it for a short while but got off. It looks like a death trap, Lexi got on, I could've warned her.
A guy gets on and he has a stereotypical surfer voice and says "Wow! Cool!"
The Bus Driver then closes the door, the bus starts to float in midair and he says "Welcome to hell." (?)
The Bus starts to squish itself and it's inhabitants. There's nothing left, it went into nothingness.
I think 'Father...' (I guess in my dream the bus driver was my father.)
Later in the dream, i'm standing at the end of the side walk. I can catch my bus, it is okay.
'Not my bus, Not my bus' I think. I wave to a bus.
All of the buses passed, a blonde haired lady appears (looks like Mrs.R) tells me "Your bus was in the back with
the handicapped buses."
She helps me find my bus, we end up by stairs by a place that looks like the Lower Gymnasium at my school.
There is this Black Kid who is exactly my height, he's naked.
I ask "How old are you?"
He tells me he is 9 and a half.

Fragment

The Fire Nation is in the dream and there was a Giant Dude. (?)
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Those were the only dreams I could remember from last night, it's crazy how 90% of my dreams are about School yet I can't recognize that as a dream sign. I think I had a False Awakening last night so i'll put that down in the Global Category.
July 24th, 2017

Building

In an office building, looking around. Actually, feeling a bit lost and uncertain of what I'm looking for. While here I see my mom in one of the offices. I wait in the hallway for her to come out and pretend to appear surprised when she calls my name. I turn around and we chat for a moment about nothing specific. I can feel that she's happy to see me... I'm less pleased to see her. I love her and think she's great. It's just unfortunate she's working in Hell and it's this aspect that saddens me. They treat her decently and it's a mutually beneficial arrangement, it's just unfortunate. She has to get back to work so I tell her I'm just running errands and I'll see her later.

Escort

I'm still in Hell, but now I'm pushing a cart with a few supplies in it. I need to take it somewhere. A man is escorting me; I'm rather fond of him for no particular reason. He seems warm. We arrive at an elevator and I'm hesitant to ride with the other riders. They are surrounded by darkness and I can't tell where the darkness is originating from; whether it's the elevator itself, an individual inside the elevator, or the collective within the elevator. I know enough to hesitate, and my escort informs me we'll take the next one. I exhale a sigh of relief. I didn't really want to explain my preference to wait, so I'm relieved he reads me exceptionally well.

We wait, then I enter the empty elevator. My escort has vanished and I'm with two women. Once we enter, a secondary door forms. I walk through the elevator and start laughing. I'm on another level without having to go up or down, just around. The two women I'm with are confused, so I explain we're on the right level. They're still confused. They don't seem very adaptive to changing reality. I explore on my own.

Starving Demons

I'm observing a group of three women eating at an exclusive restaurant. Still in Hell. They are visibly disgruntled and I realize they've run out of money. They can't afford to eat more than an appetizer. A fourth woman arrives and I'm staring at her beige colored necklace around her neck, it's quite interesting--looks like a belt. The fourth woman offers to pay for their meal. The three women, as it turns out, had planned poorly resulting in their current unfortunate series of events. The fourth woman had prepared by being more than evil (though I still believe she's a demon, not all demons are created equal). The fourth woman had been kind to others, regardless of origin (she was nice to the non-demons), and as the world changed she was able to change with it. The other three had not been kind and now they are unable to sustain themselves (food source went away).

Possession

I'm observing a pair of demons outside. One is normal and nice. The other demon is possessed by hatred. Understandable. The nice one is trying to convince the other one to abandon the hatred as it's consuming her and will eventually claim her life. The nice one retrieves what appears to be the child of the possessed demon. Makes sense as family bonds are a decent method to tame emotional hatred. This doesn't work and the possessed demon is on the verge of attacking its offspring. It's very unfortunate to see things have escalated to this degree. I'm considering stepping into the body of the possessed in order to pull it out of that state. It just needs a gentle tug--but I never get to see the outcome as it's time for me to wake.

Notes

My dreams have always involved Hell being the winning political party. I've been a permanent resident of Hell, but I've also resided in lighter areas too. As I grew up I traveled vast distances and met many wonderful beings, all over. I came to understand that origin and residency don't necessarily make individuals good or bad. Individuals choose who they want to be. There are demons in Heaven, just as there are angels in Hell. It's a horrific race war, even on the spiritual planes. Now that Heaven has the upper hand due to recent events, the demons are struggling to adapt. Their food source has been severely diminished and their hunting methods and way of life must change or they will perish. I'm here to ensure the demons survive. Why? Because demons are spirits too. Life should be protected and everyone deserves the opportunity to live. Personally, I find it hilarious to see demons miserable. It's a nice change of pace.

21 - 22:30

Covered in Oil and Fire
I was with an inventor in a dark room. Computers and other gear provided some blue light. I wanted to help him, but got distracted. I was on my way to the bathroom and picked up a dirty piece of paper. It was night and the hallway looked like army barracks. A group wearing masks was covering all the doors with a massive blanket. They didn't notice me walking in the middle until later. I saw them throwing buckets of oil on sleeping people, throwing a torch in the mix and sealing the door with the blanket so everyone burned to death inside. The screaming started. The bad guys noticed me and threw oil on me. Before I was lit on fire I used the dirty paper to clean some of the oil off my face and arms. I decided to play dead. I fell down burning. The bad guys finished setting the place on fire and half of my body looked like charcoal.

I got up and looked for survivors. I found some, about ten of us were alive. Somehow there were fleshy pink wolves in the building now. They tried to bite me and I had to fight them off. I got false memories of were I was. The bad guys called this "Dev Shack H" A building made completely from wood and in the middle of a vast forest. We had built this place on our own and it was all just a trap. I found a dying woman while exploring the place for survivors. She was too far gone, I had to leave her.

We found a room that was still somehow in one piece and decided to rest there for at least the rest of the night. Two cats had appeared out of no where, one of the survivors stopped them from fighting each other. The cats had all the colors of a rainbow, odd. A woman asked if we should move the corpses. I told her that the bad guys might return and we shouldn't go outside yet or move anything.

22:45 - 1:15

Archdevil Aboroth
I'm a DO floating over a massive golden table in a large hall. The table is probably 15 meters in diameter. The place looks regal. I don't know where I am, but it's probably not Earth. There are people around the table and I recognize some of them. Asgardian gods Loki and Thor are there. Apparently this is some sort of auction. A woman announces a new arrival as "The Archdevil Aboroth". One god near Loki grabs his stuff and gets up. He seems scared of Aboroth. Aboroth has the appearance of a 50 year old man with short brown hair and well-kept beard. He wears a dark suit. As one of the gods left, the announcer lady says to Aboroth "You may join. I do hope you're more fun than the last one." Aboroth sits down and answers "I'll try." His voice is deep and he speaks very formally. He looks at a man with gray hair and mustache across the table. "Haven't seen you at the factory." he says. The mustache guy looks terrified and says nothing.

Scene changes. I'm inside the first level of a small lighthouse. I can see the ocean through small windows, the room is round and the walls are white. Dean from Supernatural is in the room and on the other side of the room, looking out the window is Aboroth. Aboroth's shadow is unnatural, it's climbing up the wall and there's a small creature next to Aboroth in the shadow that's not visible in the room. "How did you get here." Dean asks. He seems tense. "I'm sure you know...there's only one way for me: a Witness Angel. If I'm brought here, you know it's BAD. A war is coming." Aboroth says while smiling.

1:30-3

Nine Hells
Group of adventurers that call themselves Vox Machina leave the Nine Hells with plane shift. Vax stays behind for some reason. A contract with a devil maybe. He walks through a city where the dominant color is red. He walks through an empty square. The ground has weird markings and messages all over it. Vax walks into a house and finds a small bedroom. Through the window I can see a dim, blue hue fighting the dark red sky. Green lights are scattered across the red city, I have no idea what those are. Some devils nearly discover Vax, but he appears to be protected. Maybe his god, the Raven Queen, keeps him hidden. Vax falls asleep.

Dream changes. I'm playing Diablo 3 now. I know nothing of this game, but my brother is helping me. I haven't even killed Diablo, but it's apparently not needed. We enter an area that was just released in an expansion pack. We dive into the depths of hell and the final boss is none other than Aboroth. We kill him. I have a feeling he won't stay dead.

Last night's (non-lucid) dream was pretty cool. I was in heaven, in a field, so apparently I had died or something. Two guys there were trying to move from heaven to hell. As to why they would want to do that, I have no idea! Then, there were two ladies there who wanted to move from heaven to Earth instead.

I suppose this particular heaven wasn't all that exciting.

Somehow, in their efforts to travel back to earth, they managed to take me with them. I felt like I was waking up into the land of the living, and suddenly we were in some restaurant located inside of a shopping mall. The two girls were really nice, and I talked to them a bit, but I honestly don't remember why they wanted to go back to Earth. I think they said they had "unfinished business" or something.

There was also a guy with a dog that was performing in a show or something. It's a bit fuzzy in my memory though.

Then, we all got on an elevator to go down to a lower floor. The guy with the dog was on it too. There were a lot of people in said elevator, but it was very large and roomy so it didn't feel crowded. It was a glass elevator, so you could see the lower floors of the mall. Anyway, there was a needle of some sort laying on the ground.

And get this: It moved of its own accord, and immediately began stabbing me. I actually felt the pain. My mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that some sort of organization had built this needle to...do something malicious. But I don't remember what! :')

That faded, and I was outside in a nice neighborhood with some large houses, some of which were under construction. There was a large crowd of people walking towards one of them -- I think the one that was being constructed -- and I remember a pretty girl with a pink strapless blouse, which had a pattern of diamond shapes on it in a variety of colors. She was pale and neither skinny nor overly heavy -- just perfect.

The last thing my dream journal says is "something else as part of dream." I don't remember what that something was, though. I was starting to get really tired and had less than an hour before waking up, so I just went back to sleep I think.