Recent DJ Posts

Year three of the necessary and restorative retreat up in the Topanga hills of California with several of my closest friends. On Sunday, Meow Meow, whom I had just met for the first time at this retreat, noticed a book I was reading "Man and his Symbols," a work with an introduction by Carl Jung, and the subject matter of which (dreams, archetypes, etc.) became the grounds for a brief conversation between us. She showed me the Jungian tattoo on her back, to which I took great interest. That night, I dreamt that all of us were sitting together outside during sunrise, and a pillow of fog began to envelope us on all sides. It was very similar to how the fog in the Lost Woods of the Breath of The Wild game would engulf Link if he strayed too far off the path. I also dreamt that after the fog started surrounding us, I began cuddling and making out with Lynn, one of the other friends who was with us on the retreat. The night before, we had all took MDMA and were snuggled up together very close, and I felt a profound attraction to her. But no kissing took place. Anyway, here's where it gets important. The morning after that dream, I began explaining the dream to my friend Shot, who immediately adopted a look of shock on his face. I explained it more to Meow Meow and Kai, who both explained that this exact thing happened to them this morning, as they had all stayed up till sunrise, long after I had gone to bed. They told me how the morning fog surrounded them as they were all sitting together, and they noted how much I would have loved this. They even considered going to wake me several times, but never did. Lynn had left the house before I woke up and I did not get a chance to say goodbye, but she texted me saying that my spirit was with them that morning. Clearly, it was. This synchronistic occurrence will live with me forever. I am still sort of in shock. I have a renewed love of dreams and synchronicity. I hope to keep up dream journaling more regularly now.

I'm in a sparse one-room cabin high up on a hill. The hill is steep and covered with green.

Then, I'm sitting about halfway up the tiered seating (this is also very steep), in the middle of a lecture theatre, listening to a lecture. I can't remember what it was about now but I felt moved and I remember discussing it with the man sitting next to me. I thought he was in the anime club and I remembered that I'm in that club.

When the lecture ends, I head to the anime club room. It comes is off a high-up hallway, seeming to float over the hillside, bridging two towers together. The sky is dark now and it's pretty dim and shadowy up there. I am the first one to arrive. There's a smallish room with three long tables and benches, and an even smaller one through a door at the back of it which is either an office or a cloakroom.

Two women arrive, one blonde and one brown-haired. They sit down and, unusually forward for me, I ask the brunette (she's closer): ' Hi, What's your name?'. She tells me, it's a pretty normal one, and asks enthusiastically what my subjects are. I tell her that I'm studying Italian, French and Latin!

Then she goes into the back room and I slide along the bench to be opposite the blonde girl. I ask her name. "Don't laugh," she says, "My name is Tickdick." I'm slightly incredulous and she explains its meaning to me.

More people come in. I look around the room and now apart from the women I spoke to I see several men all in the same pale blue waistcoat. I remember thinking that I didn't expect there to be so many men in this club.

Later, after everyone has left and the room has grown even darker, my friend (IRL) comes in and we talk.

She speaks about how many girls in the school (including her) are now in lesbian relationships after failed relationships with non-binary people. They weren't sure about their sexualities when they previously said they were bi. I say something about this and she mentions that others in the school used to talk about me a lot, years back, when she was LGBT and I was the only one who supported her. I ask in interest what they said about me but I can't remember her answer.

She gets up and says she wants to go out to the field to see the olive saplings. I think that's it, at least. We leave the room and head down the hill to a bright, sunny green field nestled among the hills. There are rows of olive saplings on the hillside and rows of smaller plants below. We spend a while admiring them.

A farmer lad arrives, to take care of the field. We chat to him awhile. He needs to break down all the plants as it will help them grow. My friend protests a little but we watch him sweep his arm along the rows, breaking the stalks in two. He collects the broken tops. My friend tells him to leave those, at least -they'll dissolve into the soil and help the plants grow. He agrees and scatters them about.

Once he leaves I notice three birds glide out of a tree. They are positioned as if sitting upright with their wings folded to their backs, looking ahead. They still move forward steadily in the air. I point out to my friend how weird this is and we both stare at the birds in confusion, continuing to talk. Finally, high above the trees, I see the birds open their wings and begin flying faster, beating the air. "Of course!" I say. "They glide first, then they flap their wings to stay up!"

I’m in a green hilly area dotted with groves of trees, alongside a group of people. It seems like we’re all traveling somewhere together and have been in this general area for several days.

Nearby is an enormous skeleton horse with leathery wings. I think it’s cute and have been making friends with it. (My waking-life sense of what is cute is pretty broad by most people’s standards, and it seems to be even broader in dreams.) The horse is really enormous: it has its head down at my level, and it would probably be big enough to inhale me if it breathed (which seems unlikely to happen).

Now it wants to give me a ride: it lies down, leaning to one side so I can get on. I seat myself in the ridge between two of its vertebrae. This part of it, like the wings but unlike the head and neck, is still covered in skin, which is dry and stiff, rather like a drum skin in feel and color. It takes off, and we fly around the area for a little while.

When it lands again and lets me down, I rejoin the group, which has been occupied with something else up until now. Before long, though, as we leave the area on the next phase of the journey, I take to the air again, on my own this time. I have one eye on the rest of the group and the other on the road ahead as they walk towards a pass through taller hills.

28.12.20 [I’ve been meaning to post this for a while….]

Yesterday was quite a busy day so even though I'd made notes on waking, didn't get a chance to write the dreams on the DJ here. There's a fragment from today too.

Last night I tried to incubate a dream about a painting I have on my easel at the moment. I want to figure out how to do these clouds like another painting I've seen very recently.

Unfortunately every time I was in the process of visualising the dream and setting intentions to become lucid etc., my thoughts would start drifting away in a random direction and it would take me a little while before I realised this was happening each time. In the end I guess I just fell asleep, but had no dream that I can recall relating to this incubation.

Either way, may continue to try and incubate this specific dream over the next few nights. If nothing else, it'll get me thinking about the painting.

---

Dream Fragment, one day ago:

My sibling T, driving. I'm in the car too, but on the back seat? It's dad's car I think, or something like it. Countryside roads and hilly landscape. The sky is a bit grey, but it's daytime. Looked more like here than there (old home).

Someone else is in the car with us, not sure who, but they're of small stature. Female? Makes a comment on how good T's hair is looking. I think to myself, or perhaps even comment out loud about how much better the hair does seem versus the last few years.

Scrap, one day ago:

Fighting/shooting in a game. A mix of Unreal Tournament and a tank game I've played more recently.

Dream Fragment, today:

I was playing or in World of Warcraft. I was playing a female gnome rogue and was in the Wetlands, I remember the grungy and practically wet atmosphere quite well. I saw another gnome player, but they were a Horde character somehow. I noticed they'd spotted me so I used stealth and waited for them to come past.

I opened with a stun from stealth and then after the stun I tried to manage my energy so that I'd be able to interrupt any spells as they'd start casting. The enemy gnome was a mix of a warlock and a mage? I seem to remember winning the fight but it felt like it took a very long time.

---

No notes.

Non-lucid, Lucid

.../The further memory I have, I'm in an abandoned farm where its owner is a little nasty guy who didn't take a shower for months, he looks dirty and covered in sweat. His partner gets in place and takes off a sort of leather necklace he's wearing. It's like he hasn't take that thing off for months. I don't like what I see. He goes out where all the vegetation has grown without control. I remember it used to be a beautiful place, I'm sort of disappointed. There are three big dogs out there, when I see a lion hunting down one of them. It takes the dog from the neck and takes it away. I follow the lion until my hand becomes its mouth and now I'm holding the dying dog. I let it on the floor, but it's too late. I put it where the cubs can start to eat it/...

.../Now I'm in a car, with a friend of mine who recently I got to know he loved a Japanese TV series form the early 80's named Sankuokai. He's obsessed with the series and pretends this car is a space ship, although he's driving it backwards. I get concerned we can have an accident because of he's driving too fast. Finally I got to turn the car by changing the position I'm sitting on it. It's better to see things the right way. We get to the end of the road. We get out the car and see some hills in front of us. I remember this city was build upon what was going to be a huge burial ground in ancient times. I tell him, this place is a huge burial ground. Then I turn and see a known cemetery from WL which uses to be in my dreams. I point it and tell him that some disgusting things use to happen in that place when I'm dreaming it. It hits my head all of the sudden, what about if it's actually one of those dreams!? I look at my hand and I confirm it. I tell him laughing, actually it's a god damn dream. He doesn't seem to care. Another pal gets in, and they both start talking. I leave them and go to the cemetery, thinking about my sex drive that uses to screw things up. I walk next to the main gate, when it turns into a window and I see a couple sitting on a table. They don't look interesting, although I think perhaps I should force them to have sex in front of me, I'm sick of my sex drive. I ask them to do it, they don't seem to react. I take their clothes off and put the woman on the man. They start doing something although it's not enough. I'm starting to find the scene more disgusting than exiting. Another woman gets into the room. She looks like she has some sort of skin infection. It's getting worse, but I don't care. I want them to play dirty things in front of me. I lift her skirt, and the spectacle is too disgusting, because she seems to have a serious STI. I give up, I cannot see more of it. I go to the next room. There's a couple of friends from school times, they look better, at least they were the classic lovely picture. I'm not excited at all, I just one to fulfill what I wanted to do at the beginning, so I command them again to have sex in front of me. I help them to take their clothes off, it gets better although I don't feel excited, it's just fun to see that I can control it. I leave them in their game when an ex girlfriend, who appeared somewhere in a previous dream, gets into the scene. She start doing her hotter stuff, but what she says is disturbing me. I try to stop her but she's in ecstasy covered with slobber on a table next to a window. I'm surprised I didn't wake up with all the sex stuff happening around. I'm pleased I didn't wake up trying to control the dream, although I'm disturbed with all the disgusting stuff/...

* Woke up before the alarm clock went off. And couldn't go back to sleep.

Waiting in line to be assigned a weapon as I am drafted into a medieval war. I am given a stick with a big spiked ball on top of it. Down the line, they give me a leather cape, and that's it. "What am I, cannon fodder?" I think as I realize how vulnerable I am like this. Not nearly strong enough to wield the mace, even running through bushes would scratch up my skin...

I walk off, and wander around some grassy hills with a few sparse trees. I see one of my friends with her boyfriend both sitting under a tree and having a good time. I say "Hi" as I pass by, letting them enjoy themselves without interrupting too much.

I follow a road that goes up a hill, along a small cliff right across from another half hill, half cliff area. There is a guy shooting mortar rounds at me. But I can see the angle of his mortar pod, so it's really easy to dodge. He just rotates as he changes his aim, but doesn't actually move. I have an energy cannon type thing that also shoots like a mortar, but needs to be charged with each shot depending on how far I want it to go. I time my shots to be in between his, and get closer and closer as I fine tune the charging and my aim as I dodge and shoot from different spots along the cliff. He almost gets me a few times, but it is really easy to dodge. Finally, I get a hit on him, but it hardly hurts him at all. He laughs at me, completely unconcerned. But the joke is on him, I can do this all day.

Then, a nuclear missile lands just to my right. The sky flashes white, and the blast wave knocks me down to the ground. Then everything starts to burn. Must be the radiation. I see a glowing orange smoke slowly spread toward me. Some of it touches my legs and holy crap does it burn! I run to get out of it, and can barely stay ahead of it as it spreads. Down the hill, the smoke does not follow me. Spared just by a thread from dying in that explosion, I am now so weak and injured that I am pretty much useless. I look around for some place to sleep this off. Walking away from the action toward some sort of building that is up a hill, I think that'll work just fine. Spontaneously, someone performs a type of magical healing ritual on me, and I feel back to full health again! I swing my mace around, and it feels easy and comfortable to do so. Now, what to do about this nuclear explosion?

I was walking with a group of people outdoors. I think Mum was leading the group, but I'm not too sure. I remember asking where Lake Taupo was, and suddenly it appeared to my right. It was big and it was quite choppy out on the water. This looked nothing like the real Lake Taupo in New Zealand. We walked around it for a while and I looked back to where we had come from. I saw some hills, and it was a clear day.

Yay for another decent length lucid dream, and once again it's WILD from a dream.

Only thing i can recall from non-lucid part is that i was at home and i was WILDing.
I wake up and take off headphones, confirming that i am dreaming, i get up and the dream becomes very unstable, i start rubbing hands and dream becomes more stable, but still not fully stable, i go to balcony, on the way i imagine time of day changing and it rapidly changes to night then back to the day, i start touching the door frame and concentrating on that, dream fully stabilizes. I jump and and glide in the air, i start feeling wings but for some reason i have trouble moving vertically, which prevents me from flying through the doorway. I drop back to the floor and jump again, i feel wings again and this time flight works properly. I fly through the balcony doorway, but instead of balcony there are some other rooms, i quickly navigate through them and find true balcony doorway. I fly outside.
I fly straight and then slightly to the right, i am flying even faster than previous time. Near trees i attempt to increase that speed even more, but end up zooming my view in instead somehow. Surprised, shortly i restore view back to normal and continue flying beyond trees. I reach different area, finally it's non-city dreamscape! There are hills, various trees and river. There are also bridges connected by cobble roads and DCs are roaming around. I decide to try to do transformation into a dragon again using method that worked before, with visualizing and shouting 'Dragon Form!', but once again i can only manage to transform hands, black scales appear on left hand and green on right hand, as well as claws, and fade out shortly. I do a couple more attempts while flying along the river, on the third attempt i have a bit more success, i get red scales on left hand and black on right hand, and this time they look more detailed, have more vivid feel and last longer. I fly around some more and eventually i get distracted by some DCs and transformation disappears as well. I can't recall much for a while other that we went to assault some enemy DCs.
Eventually we get into some sort of treehouse where enemy commander resided, the team beaten him up but all the fight destabilized the treehouse and it was barely balancing. After some balancing attempts it ends up completely upside down and everyone falls onto the ceiling. There are wasps. Lots of wasps. Hundreds of wasps. They sting me and somehow get into my mouth while i was trying to get up, i feel a bit of pain but not much. I suddenly remember what i was doing and fly out of the house, which falls. There are hills around and a few trees, and there are wasps absolutely everywhere, a whole swarm of them. I fly around while spitting out the wasps that got into my mouth, then i concentrate energy and imagine healing and pain goes away. I also try to breath fire at wasps, without transformation, but that fails too, though i think i ended up scaring them off and they shortly go away.
I fly back to the river area, looking around for something interesting, but after a while, suddenly, dream instantly changes the palette and instantly destabilizes, i rub hands but dream destabilizes again, time stops for a bit and it screws up my flight, so i end up falling to the ground.
On the ground i look around, there's female DC right near me, looking at me. I ask her 'You again?' even though i didn't meet her before, but in dream i was pretty sure i did( ). Shortly dream fades out.
I wake up and get distracted, because everyone is watching movies in my room for whatever reason. Shortly i wake up properly with some heavy hypnopompic hallucinations that someone is still watching movies in my room, which lasts for a few seconds, making me do a bunch of RCs.

my Dad, two other people and i are standing outdoors in a surrounded by hills and streams of running water. one of the other people tells me "bang your hair, i want to see if you can move water"
then the other person says "shouldn't he do it over at that coyote creek?" referring to a calm waterfall
then the former replies "no, over there" pointing to a more airborne and misty waterfall.
(at this point my dream is put into darkness as my Dad walks into my room and wakes me up)

my Dad, two other people and i are standing outdoors in a surrounded by hills and streams of running water. one of the other people tells me "bang your hair, i want to see if you can move water"
then the other person says "shouldn't he do it over at that coyote creek?" referring to a calm waterfall
then the former replies "no, over there" pointing to a more airborne and misty waterfall.
(at this point my dream is put into darkness as my Dad walks into my room and wakes me up)

The beginning of the dream eludes me, but my memory begins with me already lucid. I am in a place I've never been before, a small pasture, surrounded by hills on 3 sides and leading to the ocean on the other. Opposite the ocean is a small house/cottage up on the hill, I began somewhere near here. Knowing that I was dreaming, I decided to go for a bit of a fly. I jump up in the air and propel myself forward - the wind flapping my clothes and hair. I took a dive towards the ground and flipped upside down, flying backwards down the hill. I drop, gently rubbing against the ground as I continue to push as I fly. I remember thinking about the strange warmth it produced instead of pain, and how it shouldn't tear the shirt I was wearing. I get back upright and fly back towards the cottage on the hill.

Inside, fOrceez's little brother is set up as a clue to complete the ToTM, as he's completely dressed in Mjolnir armour from the Halo series. Oh, right! I should do the ToTM! I look in a mirror and start to create the armour around me. Almost like in Iron Man, the armour starts latching around my arms, legs, body and head. I can still see perfectly clearly, no helmet or visor obstructs my view - but I'm now decked out in full yellow armour!



I move my arms around, jump up and down, it was incredibly light and offered no resistance - feeling as though it actually increased the speed and power of my movements. I go back outside and look out over the hills. I point my hands down at the ground and push - this is one of the first times I've tried to use Iron Man rocket-style flying but boy is it good. I flew around the hills for a while, and some time later lose lucidity - though quite how I am not sure.

Fragment
I was on a highway with other guys loading cars into trucks and racing them.

Dream
Something didn't feel right so I did a nose plug and I could breathe I looked around and noticed the hilly surroundings. I was with 2 of my friends and I fought some other people. It wasn't clear what they looked like but one was a girl. I turned the sky to night and made it rain and pulled out a gun and made the dream go "bullet-time". The dream started to fade so I rubbed my hands together. The dream started to fade 3 times and each time I rubbed my hands.Now I'm in my kitchen with the mate from the LD and he has put a bag of dump in my fridge.

Side Notes
I don't know why my recall was so bad.

*I tried to post this on 4/7/2011 at 6:30AM but the site wouldn't load*
Small cabin on a hill
It started with a small cabin on the hill that was supposed to be my Aunt Christine's house. Many family members were at the cabin. The setting was a bunch of hills and a road going through the bottom with a big open field at the bottom. We rode in the truck around the hills and rode ATV's a bit until the zombies showed up to wreck the day.

Zombies
The zombies just appeared at random. The zombies were stupid and slow thankfully. They walked slow and were shriveled up with pieces of their body missing (kind of like a cemetery zombie who has decayed overtime). I then got a gun from the cabin and a long thick stick from the ground. I killed every one of the zombies near the house, in the field, but the road was as far as I went. I then left the field and walked up the hill to the cabin and told everyone that they were gone and they said well that's a relief. They all went back outside. I went inside and talked to Aunt Christine and my cousin Rhonda who were washing dishes from lunch (which I must've missed while killing zombies). They asked me about how I was doing and I said fine (just a normal conversation).

I went back outside and in the field the zombies were back. I was mad. I went over there and kept saying out loud I already killed you, NOW DIE! As I was killing the zombies I got way too close. I looked at them and I suddenly realized Holy Crap I'm dreaming! *now lucid* I then raised my hand and said STOP and the zombie froze in place. I looked around and I was still dreaming so I continued with the others saying STOP to make the last 5 or so zombies STOP in place.

I then went back to the house and noticed this man named Veskov or Resnov or something (probably Resnov because of Call of Duty) and he was walking around talking to people and writing on a clipboard. Anyway, Resnov looked like a therapist. I asked my Aunt Christine who it was and she said it was my dream doctor. She said he was using my dreams for research. He glanced at me from the corner of the room, not in an evil or angry way just looked at me. I followed him outside and he was writing things down about everything from trees to chairs. I asked him why are you in my dream? He said that I wasn't dreaming. I said okay then explain this and I pointed my hand toward a table and chairs and hoped to levitate a chair and suddenly the clouds off in the distance morphed into master hand from super smash bros and came towards me and I could freely move it. It formed into the master hand and started doing movements in midair until I let go and it disappeared into a mist. He looked at me and wrote on his clipboard while saying Very Impressive, Not Bad. I asked him more details about his research and he said we were in his office right now asleep and hooked up to a machine. I said well okay I guess I'll let you continue and I will look around a bit.

I was walking around thinking what do I want to do now that I am in a dream and then remembered... TASK OF THE MONTH!!! I was then looking for flowers everywhere but couldn't find any... I checked inside for vases or pots and then went outside a while until finding a small garden pot with tulips in it. I picked the Red tulip and couldn't smell it. I examined it for a while and noticed it had very defined lines and had a solid metallic look to it. It also had sharp looking spikes all the way around it sticking out along with the very sharp looking pointed petals. I thought, I wonder what you taste like... Then, I took the flower off the stem and threw it in my mouth. It tasted like red dry icing and had this strong vibrating feeling I can't hardly describe. It felt like bees were flying around in my mouth.

I then walked it off and went on to talk to Resnov about my flower adventure and I falsely woke up in his office and continued the dream unlucid in the doctors office explaining what I had just seen and talking about dreams. I don't recall anything after that but woke up soon afterwards.

Small Town Secrets

I am in a small town somwhere. It is not my home town, but a friend lives here and he tells me a lot about his friends. My friend and I are somwhere in the town, and there is some adventure going on (darn it, I can't seem to remember many details except that it was interesting). There is a murderer somewhere and I think we are trying to catch him. There is some shooting and climbing around hills. My friend and I climb up a bank, and come across a secret passage in the top of a huge church. My friend tells me to run back into town and get a few friends.

I run back to town. The dream is set in the 1950's, and I walk into a diner. It's a bit like a scene from Happy Days in there, and I try to find the people my friend was talking about. I ask around, and come up with a couple. (There's more to this part, too. I just can't remember what. Somebody doesn't like me asking around or something. And I think I eat something).

In the company of these freinds, I go back to the top of the hill and find the opening to the passage. My friend is waiting there. He seems to know the way, and leads us down in. At the opening, the passage is very narrow, just like a crack in the rock. Farther in it opens up and looks like a hallway in a building. A few rooms appear, and a bathroom. Everything is a clean white color, like a hospital. I wake up before we go much farther.

Back to my Grandparents' House

I am at home. I am getting ready to make the drive to my grandparents' house, and am going to eat before I leave. My mother is going to make macaroni and cheese, but not until supper. I will have left by then, so I try to find something else to eat.

I know that the next day I have to give an oral presentation. I have given many, but this doesn't stop me from worrying that the anxiety will ruin my evening.

Hunting for Arrowheads

My family and I are staying at a lodge (one that exists in real life. We were there about two months ago.) I get up one morning and decide to go arrowhead hunting around some overhanging rocks I saw earlier. I make my way down the path, and come to an area that I don't remember from real life, but have dreamed about before. I go down a littl deer trail rather than the main path. and come into a wooded area with the rock overhangs. As i walk it begins to storm. At first I think nothing of it, but then a bolt of lightening hits so close I can feel it.

I dash under an outcropping. It is dark under there, but I have a flashlight. Shining it around, I can see bits of flint on the ground. Searching some more, I find arrowheads and other arifacts. They are quite well made, and in waking life I would categorize them as Mississippian, though there seem to be some Late Archaic types too (these are much more delicate than normal late Archaic points, but are shaped like them).

Former House, again

I am invited to my aunt and uncle's house for a family get together. Their house happens to be one of our neighbors' house where I used to live. It is a dreamsign, but I miss it. Instead I think "this is really weird! My relatives just happen to have bought this very house."

I drive up on a scooter. No, not a motor scooter. A toy scooter. I lived here as a little kid, so it must be associative memory. Then we go in and look around the house. I think how ironic it is.

Tornado

I'm driving down the highway. I'm also walking down the highway. I'm also scooting down the highway on a piece of cloth. I run into a drawer by the side of the road, knocking it open (it's like the highway is lined with wooden filing cabinets). I think about leaving it open, but i'm afraid some distracted person might accidentally run into it and wreck. I make an illegal U-turn and go back. I can't find the drawer, but I do see some guy in a pickup truck pulling a huge trailer behind him. He is going about 4 mph, and what is more has to sit next to a huge piece of meat hanging from the ceiling of his truck. I laugh about this with some other guys standing by the highway. "If I were him," says one guy, "I'd get out and call a taxi!". The general idea is that his wife is making him do this.

Now I'm at work. My work looks a lot like my former school. It is blowing up a storm outside. The wind is getting worse and worse. I look out, and see the wind knock over a dumpster. then the dumpster is pounded to pieces by the wind. I see a few people laying around, and run down to help. Some people have already gone out and helped one guy, and I call for assistance as I rush out to what I thought was an old lady. When I get there, I find it was just a bunch of packages. Still, it is storming so i move them inside. One guy who came to help is annoyed, but I don't care because the packages are saved.

Opening the packages, I find an oil lamp that is also a heater. This will come in handy if we lose power. I set it on a table covered in straw, wondering if that is a safe thing to do.

Being an accountant (fragment)

Part of another much larger dream. We are sitting at a table in a class. The instructor asks what we think is the best thing about being an accountant. "The power!" I say.

July 19th, 2010

It's 2:05 AM, and I have gone to bed to sleep.

Its 3:29 AM and I have awoken, my dream not being lucid or controlled, but mostly remembered.

I don't know how I've gotten here, it's somewhere with my friends who I will call Jorge, B, Ricardo and my brother ehalv.

At first we all rush into a white van, which belongs to the "Crips". We discover somehow that crip means "blue". We are all pretty shocked by this for some reason. We hop into the van in a rush. Why we entered the van with no precaution in it being owned by a gang, I don't know. A lingering sense that we we're running away exists. I get in last, already stuffing myself into the car. The first person I see is Ricardo in the front passenger seat. Wether he was there all along or not I don't know. He's asking me if the mosh pit was awesome, and then tells me it was. I shake my head yes. Someone appears to get in the car but we have already begun driving. We're in a hurry. I look behind me, only one kid sits on the left, alone. I notice the kid beside me attempt to hop back to fill the remaining seat and free room in this row. At this time, something out the front window catches my eye and I notice the driver has been distracted. He has veered off course, to his left a little, missing a right hand turn, over a curb and next to a playground. At this point I say "Hell no--AW HELLLL NO! He's on the playground! He missed the turn were on the grass!" and I say a little more, but I can't remember. Everyone laughs at the idea of me saying that in this situation, where I also began in turn giggling. We leave the car at this time, still laughing, someone repeats what I've said. In front of the car to the right is the playground, and several feet ahead of it there are dips, hills petruding in the grass going downward. Almost like giant stairs of grass. The driver says it's okay and that this is where we're supposed to be. I say aloud "It's all good unless the boys come!", or something along the lines. Not seconds later does gunfire erupt behind us. I sense bullets flying past me, as if they were raindrops falling sideways. We hurry to get into the van.

I've woken up.
A flash of a letter written to me on paper or a social networking site says "you used to scare me years ago but ever since i got a ...(taste*) i've wanted another ..." This is all I remember. It is from, who I will call, Rose.

Regret fills my head, as does guilt, for not remembering the rest of the letter, or other important information and other parts of dreams I may have fell into. Although I feel regret, I think it is falsely diagnosed to an event that has never occured before, and in being so, couldn't have affected my social, or in any case, daily life.

The dreams were not vivid. They were more of ideas that grew spontaneously, wildly and with ease, but never seemed to acheive full visual scope. At least, if I'm remembering correctly.

It is 4:06 AM and I return to bed to sleep. In my hand I hold an object. No larger than a chess piece, but considerably heavier.

It is 6:59 AM, I dreamt a little. I find it funny I remember less even though I was asleep for longer.
I hear commotion outside of my bed room. I end up in my breezeway facing outside at the door, I kneel down, I hear people yelling and talking. My friend Justin rides his bike into my backyard, he looks at me and says "I think I got a five", discreetly. He means five dollars. Suddenly they begin talking very loudly and my parents lights turn on, I tell them to keep it down. They panic and Justin hands me a gun. "We found a gun, a real gun, here" he says. I grab it and it feels heavy. Very heavy. I begin to panic as they leave, or dissapear but both are relative. I set it down beside some plants outside and walk back into the breezeway. Through the door in front of me, I see a group gathered. I exit the door back outside, this time into my front yard, and see my oldest brother surrounded by people asking him questions. He seems to have it under moderate control. I ask what it's all about. He says the dog got loose again. Standard procedure. I head inside, my dad is talking to someone about pizza, or food. I end up going downstairs to pee because someone is in the bathroom. A christian man follows me. He needs to pee and pees on the opposite side of the room. I end up not peeing at all and head back upstairs, with a handfull of bacon in my hands.

I'm awoken and the object I had held in my hand before falling asleep is laid side by side next to my phone on my bed. Seemed placed carefully, but I cannot remember doing so.