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I was in our condo. I went to the elevator. I wanted to go to the ground floor. There are a lot of people. I just remembered that I forgot to bring something and considered going back to our unit. Then, almost simultaneously, three elevators opened and people filed in. I went back to our unit to get whatever it was that I forgot.

I was in a plaza/park in a school. We were doing QM (quadrupedal movement) on the rails. It was daytime.

I vaguely remember something about an RPG. Nine squares on the screen to complete something. Riding horses up a cliff or plateau.

---

Notes:

- I went to sleep around 4 p.m. because I was feeling sick.
- I woke up around 10 p.m., although I woke up around 8 p.m. as well.
- Felt sick throughout.

I'm back...again . Hopefully, my stay this time is longer than my brief period almost two years ago.

I have been way out of practice and really want to get back into lucid dreaming. I have missed it and feel like I'm at a point in my life where I can get back into like I used to be.

Anyway, lets throw up the dream I had recently...


Unknown Date
Lucid Dream 526: Love Will Find a Way
Series: 108 Stars of Destiny, Episode 13
DILD
Technique: ADA



The first parts of the dream I remember, I was in a village. It appeared to be back in a America 1700's colony type era, but there were some old looking vehicles/automobiles, neon signs, and several other modern technologies mixed in. I was in a group of about 7 people. We had some sort of importance. Government officials maybe? Anyway, at some point we arrived at the gallows and two attractive females were there with ropes being put around their necks. One was short with silvery-blonde hair. The other was tall with Maroon-ish/red hair. I could see they were crying. They were side by side and holding hands. They were, apparently, being hung for being in love with each other and both being female. Once we got to the stage where the gallows were fastened, I jumped up and started talking to the large crowd that had gathered.

I can't remember my exact speech, but I was trying to convince them that we all had no right to deny love, no matter if they were both female or not. I ranted about this for a while and broke out the Jackie Moon saying (from the movie Semi-Pro)..."ELE, Everybody love Everybody, C'MON!!" The crowd was starting to take my side and I felt like I was going to save them. Then I told the crowd to go against "the church" and save these girls. I then stated how "the church" was corrupt and full of hate, but that was the wrong move. The crowd started throwing rocks at me and yelling at me in anger for talking bad about "the church." I then got strung up beside them. The floor was just about to fall out from underneath us when I thought, "I'm about to die in this dream." It hit me like a ton of bricks and I became lucid. I was thinking, "It has been ages since I became lucid in a fantasy/alternate setting like this."

I didn't want to lose the dream as things got a little blurry when became lucid. I quickly did a nose pinch RC, took a couple deep breathes and focused for a second to stabilize. I no longer had a rope around my neck, so I cut the rope from the two girls and freed them. the crowd started rampaging toward the stage and all of them had very distorted and demented looking faces with red eyes. Like demons/monsters. I told the girls to grab a hold of my hands. I then leapt into the air in an attempt to fly away. The weight of the girls was too much for me, being out of practice from lucid dreaming. I came crashing to the ground, but luckily, I flew far enough to get passed the crowd. I told them to follow me and we ran toward a wagon being pulled by horses. The body of the wagon looked like a wooden sports car, but had big wagon wheels on it. We jumped in and I commanded the horses to run. They started trotting pretty slowly, lol. The crowd was getting close, so I looked for the reigns, but couldn't find any. There was a metal bar in front of me like an amusement park ride would have. I gripped it tightly and began to ull up as I used my mind to lift into the sky. The Horses and wagon began flying away.

I just experienced the moment for a bit as I hadn't done this in a while. I looked back at the girls and wanting to ask where they wanted to go, and the taller one replied before I could even ask, "We just want to go somewhere that we can be together and love each other in peace." I told them that i would take them to the end of the earth and back if I had to. I asked their names and the tall one was Athena and the shorter one was Bianca. Athena had a scar on her face that I didn't notice before. She appeared to be athletic and toned while Bianca was short and angelic-like. I decided to land the wagon which had now turned into something that looked like santa's sled pulled by horses with wings.

We got out and I looked around for something to explore. I noticed a huge castle off in the distance and it reminded me of my own castle from my previous dreams. I turned to the girls and asked them to join my Dream Army and live with me in the castle where no one would question their love. They agreed to join me. As I was taking them to the castle, I lost my lucidity along the way.

The next thing I remember is being in a pub/bar that had one of those punching bag games that measures your strength. The setting was now very Wild West-like. There were some rough looking outlaws bragging about the punching game and I went over to challenge them. We argued for a bit and made some bets. However, the dream began to fade just before I was about to punch the bag and I woke up.

Series Details
Welcome to the epic dream series known as, "The 108 Stars of Destiny." Follow me as I build the most powerful army the dream world has ever seen. Along with the help of 108 key recruits, I take on the dream world and elevate to god-like status! Will anyone stand in my way? Stay tuned for more entries to the series!

108 Stars of Destiny
NEW 19 - Athena - The Yuri Star
NEW 20 - Bianca - The Hope Star

March 05, 2015

---

I was with my parents, and we were talking about the Doctor. I was longing for him, and later got to meet up with him (he was apparently someone we knew?) after babysitting some kids, and he gave me a simple string necklace with an orb on the end. I thought it was just a silly trinket he would give to a child, so I was a little upset about it all. When my mom saw me wearing the necklace, she looked concerned and immediately tried to call him. They either told me, or I had a strong hunch that this necklace was something special after all, and that maybe he had strong feelings for me. This thought excited me, but my parents seemed to be treating it with caution and concern, like a baby tiger or something.

Then, they both told me about a dream people had been having. They said it might be connected with the Doctor somehow, so I decided to try to incubate the dream, whatever it ended up being. Like, they told me a sentence to think about, though I can't remember what it was. I ended up falling asleep in the chair I was sitting in with my parents.

In this dream within a dream, I was a worker or resident of some sort of working commune of sorts. We lived and worked in a long building of maybe five stories. But it was on a cliff face, so on that side, the ground floor was below the cliff wall. That whole side of the building, on all floors, was lined with a large wooden balcony looking out into the canyon. There was a sloped road into the canyon next to the building so I liked to watch cars go by.... except cars never seemed to actually go by. All of us in this commune were basically paid to live there and basically just do small odd-jobs all the time. Like, we'd get paid to move these large picnic table-type tables out to the balcony for dinner, or for indulging our hobbies. Some of us were trained doctors (I was one of them), and we would care for people when they got hurt or sick, though it didn't happen often.

On the other side of the building, in the center, there were a set of double-story glass doors leading into a prairie backyard with a terraced garden at the other end, and horse/sheep/cow stables above the garden terraces. It was so beautiful, but kinda utopian (as in impossible and slightly darker than it seemed). Like, on the surface it looked like a perfect little community... but there were whispers.

On the day this dream took place, we had moved the tables out to the balcony for lunch. It was a special day because it was the day a Canyon Horse spirit did a yearly run down the road into the canyon. But for some reason it started early. It had always been in the evening, when the sun sets, and the windows were always boarded up and fastened, and we fasted for the evening, or something. But this year, it was starting in the middle of our lunch. The sky darkened and men came in to shutter the balcony openings; but I just barely spotted the spirit streaking by through the closing shutters. It was a deeply spiritual moment, and afterwards, I was so excited, so I didn't notice the tension around me. Something was happening.

We found out why the doors and windows were always boarded up for this event; the horses in the stables out over the terraces were going mad. The stable men who had been tending them were being trampled or turned mad themselves. One horse was on its back, but still somehow galloping, as if it had legs coming out of its back; it was super creepy. They all, men and horses, started charging the building, trampling the gardens and prairie. People in the house panicked and tried to shutter the doors, but it wasn't working. So we started running. I was running along the building in the direction of the end of the canyon, because there was a town in that direction. I stopped at one of the side doors and looked down the country-lane-ish pathway it opened into, to see which way the horses and men would go. I thought they would all just go straight into the house to get people, but they fanned out and changed direction as soon as I could see them. It was now too late to change my mind, and I wished I hadn't waited, and had just run when I got to the door.

I ran through the streets until I reached a small neighborhood and started turning down streets to try to loose the mad people chasing me. I felt like they were after my flesh, wanting to tear my heart out or wear my brains as headdresses....

I came to a small house, but it had a divot of sorts in the layout, with a bush in it. I ducked into the divot, thinking I would be safe there and no one would be able to see me. But you could see me from the other direction, so it the men ran past and turned around, they would see me and I would be cornered... It was a risk, and I took it. Right when I settled there, a man, I assumed the owner of the house, came from the other direction and spotted me. I thought he was going to call out in alarm, but he must have seen the pleading in my eyes, because when he looked ahead of him and saw the madman who was still chasing me, and pretended he didn't see me as he walked to his front door. The madman passed, kept going, and then the new man beckoned me quickly to go inside, while he kept watch for the madman coming back.

I was so grateful I would have cried. but when I got inside, it was MY house. My parents were there, sitting where they had been sitting when I had fallen asleep. I had a moment of lucidity and realized they were themselves, not DCs of themselves. I sat down in the seat in which I had been sitting before, and stared at them, dumbfounded. "Well, that was trippy..." I said. They told me that people who dreamed after thinking that sentence they'd given me all had nearly the exact same dream. They asked me to describe my experience. They were a little surprised, because most people experienced the dream through a man's eyes, even if they were women IWL. I had been a woman, and when I thought about it, most of the people in the building had been women. My parents said this meant something, but I don't remember what that is, or if they even actually told me. I started to feel myself slowly slipping from sleep to wakefullness, but there was no breaking apart of the dream, because I was sitting exactly where my waking body had been. Nothing about my vision or consciousness changed, except that I slowly felt myself waking up.

(this was the weirdest FA I have ever had)

"Whoa," I said to my parents. I asked them if I had just been actually talking to them. I had; they had inserted themselves in my dream or something. It was all very weird, so I stood up and walked around, not really taking in the fact that my house was now a hybrid of my actual house and that building from the dream. There were a series of small moments; One in which one of my best high school friends was visiting, and we were standing on the top of a hill outside this new hybrid house, looking down a stairway path to the bottom. She threw her phone out over the hill, toward a beach at the bottom, and then ran after it giggling like an idiot. River Song came through some double doors at the side of the house (opening to a balcony eerily similar to the one from the dream) and I was suddenly a young girl, and ther ewere sort-of two of me. We ran up to River Song and hugged her, yelling, "MOMMY!!" I was me again, looking through a storehouse of sorts which had been lost to humanity for ages. We were looking at all the priceless objects inside it, and picking which ones to take home with us. I chose pieces that reminded me of figures my Oma has, because I wanted to have some like them. I forget what mom picked.

Then, I was me again, and sitting against a full-body mirror that stood in the middle-ish of a large room. I smiled, because suddenly I knew I was dreaming. I didn't even need to RC, I just knew it was a dream. I was in a very laid back lucid mood, so I took out my phone and looked at it when I touched the on button. There was a 3D-ish sphere on the top right corner, a moving metronome to the left of that, and some lines below them, which waves and wiggled. The DC sitting diagonal to me laughed and commented on my metronome thing, and I said, "Hey, this is MY dream. You're not allowed to see things you can't possibly see. That's MY job." I stood up, and went to find my parents.

I found where the large room connected to the hallway that was actually in my house, and walked to the end of it, looking at my hands to stabilize the dream and just for shiggles really; they were frozen in this spread out position even when I moved my fingers. Like they were glitching. I turned around and, expecting to find my actual living room when I went back, headed back. I did indeed find my real living room when I returned, and my parents were there. I took hold of the trim on the corner of the wall, and slowly floated myself upward so I was horizontal. I slowly floated up to rest on the ceiling; I was chilling on the ceiling as if I were underwater, and gravity was flipped. My parents just smiled up at me. I thought about attempting another ceiling portal, but remembered the Advanced ToTM about pushing yourself through a mirror as a portal. So I instantly turned off this weird gravity and landed on the ground, and went down the hall again, and turning around with the intention of finding that large room with the mirror again. I did find it when I returned, and sat against the mirror again. Everyone was gone from the room now, so I closed my eyes, imagined that I was going on a mystery journey, and just let myself sink into the mirror. I slowly phased through it as I fell backward, and I let myself tumble out into whatever new place I had discovered. A rainbow passed through me, and then it was crazy; I was in a strange cave-like place that wasn't actually a cave. Where ever I looked, my eyes were like lasers that sprouted flowers and rainbows and stars would shoot out and spread around the area. It was fairly dark but where I looked would illuminate to reveal a dark blue rock-face thing. I liked this so far. I found a small star chart on a podium, and investigated it. The first thing that caught my eye was a rubber chicken. WTF, I thought, and then found a telescope next to the podium. I wanted to get a look at this for myself, so I looked through the telescope, pointing it where the rubber chicken would be. I had been assuming it was a constellation made by weirder people than me, but when I spotted it in the viewfinder... it was ACTUALLY a huge rubber chicken in space. Like, I could tell it was light years away, but it was as big as a huge planet. I felt the dream fading, and let it go because I was happy with the results.

Morning of March 5, 2015. Thursday.



Johnny Cash sings in the background, sounding somewhat distant yet somehow close at the same time, like an old anachronistic Buick with a loudspeaker atop following me from perhaps a block away. “I ride an old paint, I lead an old Dan, I’m off to Montan’ for to throw the hooley-ann.” The voice is somewhat familiar in a different way, somewhat melancholy, the nature of the “reality” of this deserted 1800s half-defined world. Not much to look at but a pale brick wall in the late evening, a wall that flows past me as I ride a weird clay-like bay roan horse into an eerily empty town. Or so it seems. There are only a few men in the streets of the town, as it is so late at night. Is this Laredo? “I spied a young cowboy all wrapped in white linen, wrapped in white linen as cold as the clay…” (As cold as a clay horse?)

However, without explanation, without a backstory, without even a false memory to build a nonsensical foundation to explain my location and direction, I find myself riding Pokey into an old western town. My clay horse will not behave. His mouth grows and “roars” like the “roaring worm” from “Eraserhead”. Johnny Cash’s singing remains a statement of fact in the background. These cowboys cannot live here. My horse will swallow them.

Eraserhorse will eat everyone eventually, and I cannot do much to stop him.

---

This dream utilizes coalescence waking symbolism, a type of waking symbolism where the dream self or other dream features are rendered as being metaphorically “swallowed” into waking consciousness.

---

I confess that I was never a fan of “Gumby” and went out of my way to avoid it whenever I could, even as a child. I found it over-the-top irritating. It was like a trend in society to force children to watch certain things as a form of punishment - and many forms of “entertainment” still seem as such.

---

Ritual: WTB 2:30am, after a little over four hours of sleep I strap the vibrating alarm to my wrist, set for 35 minutes. When it goes off it wakes me very definitely. I lay still and try to DEILD but can feel that REMA is broken. Turn down vibration strength to minimum, note time at 7:20am, and try again... same result. Remove alarm and go to sleep normally. Next time I wake up, try again with better success... at the time thought it was DEILD but realize now it must have actually been a DILD because I was not in my WL bed, so it must have been FA rather than real waking.

DILD-DEILD: I wake up and remember not to move. I am lying on my right side, but I am in a bed in my grandmother's house. Momentarily I wonder why I am there, but "remember" that I am visiting her. Oddly, in retrospect it feels like my lengthwise orientation—the directions my head and feet were respectively pointing—was also the opposite from how I sleep WL, and that the bed was on the opposite wall, sort of like the whole room was a mirror image of my WL bedroom. But since everything was in the same relative position to everything else, I'm not sure where that feeling came from.

I try to DEILD and at first I'm convinced I'm physically moving but REMA seems intact so I relax and explore my sensory awareness. Finally I just start to rock back and forth, until I feel confident enough in my dream body to get out of bed. The door to the hall is open, and on the other side I can see the living room, lit up by a Christmas tree with beautiful golden lights. I know it is my grandmother's house in Texas and don't realize that she hasn't lived there for years.

My awareness is fairly low all around and I don't recall my tasks either. Aimlessly I go outside and spontaneously a magnificent chestnut horse canters up to me, already saddled. I used to ride a lot in Texas so it is probably the result of mental association. I caress the shoulder of the horse and put my left foot in the stirrup, barely able to reach that high as the animal is quite tall. I start to pull myself up and into the saddle but I lose my balance and get "stuck" with my right leg halfway over. I waver there with my left leg in the stirrup and my right in mid-air, somehow unable to complete the movement. Finally I force it with an act of will and get astride the horse, but it doesn't feel right, the proportions are all wrong. The mental dissonance wakes me (although I am now convinced this too was an FA).

FA(?): On waking, I review the dream and recognize my mental error in thinking that I had been visiting my grandmother's old house and that it was Christmas-time, but I thought I was at least correct in the position of the tree, and remembered seeing in that spot one year. Now that I am fully awake, I have my doubts even about this: my "remembered" layout of the house was all wrong, and I don't think I ever even visited at Christmas time.

DILD-DEILD: I didn't think REMA had broken yet so I tried to DEILD again, and there were some ambiguous successes that I don't recall well (I still suspect the whole thing was a DILD, and that even most of the "transitions" occurred entirely within the dream state).

At some point I am back in my WL house, and I open the front door to go outside. After the stunt on the horse I wonder if the door will impede my progress and, probably in response to my thought, I discover that after I open the first door panel there is still a second one to go through, but I try not to cause unnecessary obstacles for myself and go through the second door easily.

It is very foggy in the front yard, and it is also a wide grassy area with scattered trees rather than a busy suburban street. The fog is making everything vague so I go for the tried and true, "Clarity now!" I shout it a few times and the dream responds, a bit sarcastically overdoing it. Now everything is too sharp, almost pixellated. I can see white and black birds with incredible definition in their pattern and plumage, but the focus is too sharp to look comfortably real. This is preferable to the earlier fogginess, however, so I go along with it.

As so often, I start instinctively singing as I explore the landscape. My voice is somewhat annoying this time, high-pitched and overly sweet, and there's nothing especially beautiful or memorable about the melodies I'm coming up with. It sounds like the sort of singing you'd hear in a mediocre mid-century musical. But I stick with it, hoping I can use it to influence the dream.

The landscape is pleasantly pastoral in all directions now. I am walking in an open meadow, and there are scattered trees here and there. I can't see any other figures, and I decide things would be more interesting if I could interact with a DC, so I decide to request one. I sing something about the "view," and then in the next line ask the dream to "send someone to talk to..." — and hesitate, having botched the lyrics. If I could end the with line "to you," it would have proper meter and rhyme, but obviously I wanted the DC to come talk "to me," so I tack the word "me" awkwardly onto the end of the line. It sounds so stupid that I break character and laugh at myself.

I give up on the singing and make my request again with a simple act of will. This works much better, and at once I can see a woman—of a sort—approaching me. She has a human torso but the lower part of her body is that of a large serpent, like a naga, and she resembles Medusa in having snake-like strands instead of hair. While I contemplate her unusual appearance, a second such creature shows up at her side. The face of the second one is thinner, with high cheekbones, attractive even, and her snake-hair is asymmetrically coiffed like elaborate dreadlocks. I find her appearance so striking that I want to complement her.

"I like your... arrangement." It comes out awkwardly because I realized mid-sentence that "hair" wasn't the right word and had to choose another one, but I'm not sure if she'll understand. "I mean your snakes," I explain hurriedly, hoping I'm not inadvertently being offensive by naming them as such. The naga I'm addressing studies me with a twisted expression, like she's not sure whether to be flattered or irritated.

I converse with them for a few minutes but unfortunately I can't recall what we discussed. Then they ask me for a favor: will I go up that hill nearby and tell their father that they're working on the project? It sounds like an innocent request, but I sense that there is something sinister behind it. I suspect that this is a ploy to lure me into their encampment, where I will be taken captive. As I hesitate, pondering their motivations, I can actually feel the pressure of their minds against mine, like they are attempting to work a subtle enchantment to compel me to go. I lash back mentally, and they both recoil.

Now the veneer of friendliness drops, and the two nagas become openly hostile. I don't feel like getting dragged into a fight, so I instinctively put an end to the situation. At the top of my voice I shout wordless syllables that sound like a whiplash or thunderclap—"Kuk-KAH!"—and clap my hands together at the same instant. The two nagas vanish into thin air. I am satisfied with how well that worked, but feel a faint pang of concern... I hope I didn't destroy them; I only meant to remove them from my presence!

The dream ends at this point. I wake up and start report around 8:45am.

I was in a field. There are many people. It's really crowded. There was a young prince we're supposed to protect/attack. A child? There's a decoy.

The "prince" was on a runaway horse, and it went directly to traffic/the highway. I chased after it (not sure how; skateboard?). I was able to get rescue him and avoid dangerous cars. We kept going.

The prince is a puppy (or some sort of small animal). I was in a forest-like area. People are making offerings there for safety and wishes. I wished that the pet/prince have a peaceful life in a farm. Something about organic.

I was talking with a small group of people. One is the scientist Reina. We were in an area close to the Pasig river. We were talking of making river "buses" to go throughout Manila. Reina said this isn't viable.

Ritual: This was my third experiment with the vibrating alarm. Again it was successful, though in a somewhat inexplicable way. I had intended to get lucid but slept from 1:00–6:20am, and realized when I woke it was too late for a proper WBTB. So I used the vibrating alarm, set to go off in 45m. It was 7:19am when I awoke again, so it must have triggered, but I never felt the vibration at all this time. I had an NLD I don't clearly recall, and then a DILD—in which I simply became aware that I was dreaming, with no particular RC or "aha!" moment. The lucidity was low-grade, though, in that I never remembered the tasks I had intended to work on.

DILD: I found myself in K&L in San Francisco. (This is a real wine store that I like, but the dream version had no physical resemblance to RL.) While browsing I noticed all the good food in the cases—fresh food, like slices of cake on plates, ready to be eaten—and reflected on how amazing the food culture is in SF that you can even get great fresh food in a wine shop. There was a tray with samples of wine, generous pours of about two ounces in full-size glasses, and another tray with samples of a variety of little cut bars and pastries. As I began eating and drinking, the impression dawned on me that I was dreaming, but I felt that I was not fully integrated. (This must have been dream logic; I was already deep in dream so there was no question of integration, but apparently what I was sensing was that I was not fully lucid.) I thought that using my senses would help, so I was focusing on the tastes and textures and even the sounds that occurred as I sampled the various confections. I wanted to find one that was more savory than sweet. A couple pieces were green in color, which seemed promising, but they turned out to be more dessert-like than I had hoped. I was amused to notice how I was behaving with dream protocols: if I didn't like a piece, I would just spit it out and leave it on the tray, an act that would be incredibly rude and disgusting in waking life!

I thought after I got better integrated I should go explore the dream—wasn't there something I was dreaming about earlier, a wilderness landscape, that it would be interesting to get back to? I recollected it only vaguely. But first I wanted to try each of the food samples. The very last one I tasted was savory after all, and had a kind of bi-layer construction with a spicy-savory mixture sitting on top of a nest of dried coconut strands—it was my favorite, and I wished I could get the recipe.

Nearby was a little display box full of pamphlets or maybe even CDs about nuns, and as I leafed through them I saw that they broached the question: do nuns wear their habits even when they are locked away together in their nunneries, or do they, like Muslim women, remove their head coverings when at home? I felt that in waking life I knew the answer but now I couldn't remember. I thought about it and considered that the tradition of nuns covering their head must be related to similar phenomena in related cultures and places, such as the way women have to cover their heads when attending a Russian Orthodox church service. I figured it probably did have ties to the tradition among conservative Islamic women to cover their heads. I concluded on this basis that nuns would indeed remove their wimples when alone among themselves. (In retrospect I'm pretty sure I wrong, but I can't say with absolute certainty. The only Christian nuns I've met don't wear habits at all!)

Earlier, when I had decided that I would go explore the dreamscape after I was done here, as if in direct response to my thoughts a horse had promptly cantered up outside the shop and stood there waiting for me. (If only my human DCs were so obliging!) Now that I was finished eating I went outside and prepared to ride away. The horse had been completed tacked up when he arrived—excessively so, I had thought, as he seemed to be carrying bedrolls and other long-distance gear—and when I mounted he had definitely been wearing a saddle because I distinctly braced my foot in the stirrup and held the pommel to get on. However, no sooner had I started riding away than I felt I was slipping around a bit and was surprised to discover that this was because I was riding bareback. Oh well, it will be good practice. I remembered how some people say that LDs can help you practice RL skills, and I figured that I could certainly use some practice improving my seat and position, so I decided to focus on that for a while and see if it paid off in this week's lesson.

I still felt we were in downtown San Francisco but everything felt old-timey. Even the cars looked like 1920s models. Fortunately there weren't many of them, because I was moving through the city at a canter. I realized how unrealistic this was: in RL I would hesitate to stress the horse's legs by cantering on hard paved streets, and I definitely would not cross intersections without stopping, like I was doing now, but since I knew I was dreaming I felt it would be okay. Crossing the street still felt dangerous as there were sometimes cars coming, but there weren't too many of them and they were going slow enough that we were able to dodge one another. I was cantering because that is the gait where I need the most improvement on my seat and position: I was focusing on trying to keep my legs long and heels down, with my core on, back straight and shoulders back.

We cantered right out of the city, though I was paying so much attention to my form that I didn't have much to spare for my surroundings. Just as in RL I noticed the tendency for my legs to creep up and my torso to lean forward at the canter, so I was trying to counter these bad habits and reinforce good ones. At some point I finally halted the horse, and I worked on trying to do that properly as well, keeping my seat deep and using my weight properly. The dream ended around this time, as though by halting the horse I halted the dream.

Dream 1

I'm at my primary school, standing on the oval. I see a young horse running towards me. As it gets to me, I jump on it while its still running. It's a strange feeling, I feel I have a strong connection with the horse. The horse takes me down the road towards the traffic lights near la porchetta pizza restaurant. There's traffic and the horse takes us towards the cars. I can see trucks. I try to stop it but its fighting against me. The horse eventually stops and we get to the other side without a scratch. It was night time and some cars didn't have their lights turned on.

I'm now at Daryl's and I see a dog bowl. Kayley tells me that Trish phoned in and asked if I was feeding and looking after my dog. I tell Kayley that I've been taking the dog for walks.

Dream 2

I'm at my house and I see Kayley talking to a black women who is meant to be her mother. The Mum has quite a few teeth missing. Kayley is jokingly mocking her Mum about something. This scene replays a few times. As Kayley leaves, she calls her an ugly cunt or something like that, really putting her down.

I can now see spices that are placed in a spice rack. I pick one up and have a look at it. Kayley's Mum must have just got back from being out with her boyfriend. She tells us she got spoilt. She bought back a bottle of vodka. The bottle is a lot wider then a normal bottle with a plastic lid. I take a closer look at the herbs and there's a picture of Kayley's Mum on the front of it. She looks decent looking. The back of it has a picture of her playing basketball. I ask Kayley if she used to play basketball, she say's yes.

Dream 3

I'm at a party and I see a few people trying to putt a ball into a hole. If the person got it in the hole, they win a car. I was going to have a crack at it, but someone took my shot instead. Germain has a putt and it comes pretty close to the hole. Someone takes over Germain's shot and must have put too much power on their shot, cause the ball was now 10 meters away from the hole. There's a bit of decline in the surface if u were to miss the hole.

I'm now playing a video game on the computer. Its a similar game to Mario Brothers. Jason Deen asks me if I remember playing this game together when we were younger. At first I didn't recall, but it clicked with me as I was playing that I did.

Someone that I'm with decides to play a bit of a joke on a guy sitting at his computer. He somehow makes the victims computer screw up. Maybe even blowing it up, through a virus or magic. The victim becomes furious.

Dream Fragment

1. Blaxland House

2. I see Dad walk into garage through the house. He asks Daryl if he took any of his cigarettes. Daryl confesses that he did. He has taken a handful. I can see a homemade cigarette pack on the freezer, which Daryl is talking about.

I am listening to one of my favorite bands through earphones, and take the earphones off to do something else, but the music remains at the same volume. I check, and I am still wearing the earphones. I take them off again, being extra sure that I removed them. Holding them in my hand, looking right at them, the music is still at the same volume. I also feel them in my ears at the same time. I drop the pair I'm holding and feel another pair in my ears again.

My room mate comes up to me to tell me something, but I can't hear her over the music. I take the earphones out, but the music is still just as loud and I can't hear her over it. I focus really intently on reading her lips, but only get part of what she's saying this way. I take the earphones out several times as she is speaking, but the music never gets quieter.

Maybe I'm dreaming? I pinch my nose and cannot breathe. I look at my frame of reference, notice my nose is slightly visible as usual, as well as my face around my eyes. I try to put my finger through my hand, it won't go through. I look at my hands, I have the normal number of fingers: 4 and a thumb on each hand. "I guess I'm just going crazy then" I conclude, still unable to stop the music. I wonder if I am just unable to remove the headphones and am hallucinating my attempts to get them off, or if I am just hearing the music in my head without headphones....

In either case, the music is awesome, so I don't really mind it at all. I sing along for a bit, realizing I don't know the words, I let the song continue. I figured I would know the words if it's in my head, but I don't. I keep taking the earphones out, only to hear the music just the same, and to immediately find the earphones are still in my ears.

A large dog is sleeping nearby. Now it is a horse, the size of a huge dog. It has wedged itself comfortably behind some furniture and wants to get out. I move the furniture a little, and it squeezes through, now in dog aspect again. Turning around, it squeezes back into the furniture, between the frame of a table with no top. It is a large fluffy dog at this point, it lays down, completely comfortable and relaxed. I feel relaxed just looking at it curl up over there.

I wake up and realize I fell asleep with my headphones on, playing the exact same music. Complete continuity from the dream music to the music I'm hearing now.

Maybe I woke up briefly for the RCs, and due to the continuity of music, didn't know I was awake? A crucial element was missing from my RCs however: Truly believing this might in fact be a dream. Instead of this, I was merely wanting it to be a dream.

Morning of May 15, 2014. Thursday.

Dream #: 17,314-04. Reading time: 2 min 45 sec.



I am riding in a landau with Zsuzsanna either late at night or early in the morning before dawn in Rochester, Minnesota. I get the feeling we are enjoying an expensive tour. The unknown coachman is on our left as I sit in the middle. At one point, we are going down 2nd Street SW so that when we turn right, we will go past the Mayo Clinic Baldwin Building. There are many high buildings adjacent to the streets. There is no other traffic or any other people.

What is surreal about this scene is that the small brown horse pulling the carriage is nearly half a city block ahead of us on a very long lead rein. It seems to be like this so that tourists cannot take control or cause the landau to go in a different direction. Even so, the lead rein seems too slack for feasible control of the horse. I wonder what will happen when we get to an intersection and have to turn the corner.

When the horse reaches the intersection and turns right, we have to stop. We have to get out of the carriage to push and align it to the perpendicular street to continue our journey. I consider we will probably have to do this several times before we get to our destination. Zsuzsanna and I decide to walk.

In a room on the second floor of the hotel, I find a television broadcast annoying, but I am unsure how to turn it off. Zsuzsanna is on the bed, and there is an unusual movement over her skin, like a ripple effect (reminiscent of moderate ocean waves).

Later, I am in a library where there are many other people. I am standing in an area near a long table that is mostly to my right. A young male approaches me and pulls something out of my left plaid shirt pocket with his right hand. It is a Mars candy bar wrapper. He throws it on the table while claiming it is against library policy for anyone to carry a card in their pocket. His activity makes no sense to me, and I decide to punch him and knock him to the floor.

My instinctual awareness of being in the dream state increases to full recognition I am dreaming. I leave the library, though it is now part of a larger building. I follow two people out into the hall as I see it is like a college I went to and later worked at in maintenance in La Crosse.

I walk westerly down the hall. I see through the glass doors that sparse raindrops are falling outside. It now seems to be winter. I feel anticipation because I enjoy walking and flying in the rain in dreams, and I know it will vivify my dreaming experience. When I walk outside, the rain is stopping. I walk down the alley, and my awareness seems to fade only slightly.

I am sitting on the ground. I look out from the end of the alley and notice a pair of feminine legs that shine with a golden light. (It is a pale gold but then closer to canary yellow, but at one point, it looks mottled with white or paler yellow). The unknown girl stands near a parked car. She is briefly talking on a payphone but then on her cell phone. She is wearing a short dark blue skirt and black stilettos. For a time, I can only see her from the waist down due to a low tree branch blocking the rest of the scene. I am intrigued.

Otherwise, she seems to be an ordinary woman engaging in everyday activities. When I get up and go closer, I see her walking a bit north from the car, but she stops and looks at me as if expecting me to say something. My dream fades as her glowing skin dims somewhat.

My liminal awareness arises to full recognition of being in transition in my dream relative to the shifting somatosensory dynamics and my physical orientation in bed (a factor more sustained in childhood).

---

Night of April 4, 2014. Friday.



This is one of the only times in recent years I have deliberately tried to focus on a person I did not know at all (other than as an assumed bizarre and relentlessly narcissistic persona), though I have (not by intent) dreamt of the YouTube hillbilly conspiracy theorist a few times (one dream being precognitive of his finding a much younger wife).

In my dream, there is only one main scene of a man riding backwards on a horse. He goes about in circles seeming very delighted and pleased. There seems no threat of injury. This is close to being a “glowing dream” but does not reach that visual quality (that is, a dream where everything seems to glow from within, sort of like a photographic negative but with correct color). He leans forward over the back of the horse, his upper body eventually being nearly horizontal to the horse. His head, with the side of it touching the horse’s back (as if seemingly attempting to hear something - but probably only incidental in appearance as such) is mostly over the croup and his hands open and about the horse’s hips for the most part. He continues to seem delighted as the horse gallops about but he never sees me at any point. He seems very proud and fulfilled over how “well” he is doing in a sort of absentminded, yet totally certain way.

He is dressed informally and has flushed cheeks with a reddish nose and even a reddish chin, with a sort of odd pale complexion as if out of the sun for a long time or appearing to have a continuous “alcohol complexion”. He grins in euphoria. It is almost as if he views the horse as his own body. Even though he is riding backwards, it seems to be how things have “always been” for him, almost as if he is not aware that a horse has a head.

Eventually, he has a very large bed-sheet (or possibly a picnic blanket), wearing it over himself sort of like an implied cape, leaning down closer to the back even more as if the horse were like a bed, with the tail being the head of the bed. Eventually, he covers himself completely (somehow able to hold onto part of it) as the sheet moves up and about almost like distorted wings of an airplane. I stand puzzled and wondering if he will see me, but no. At one point, the sheet waves like a flag. I continue to watch, feeling a sense of hilarity as well as a sincere pity.

I am in a large banquet hall. It is well lit, but somehow seems dark. There are round tables placed around the room randomly. We are celebrating something for the music school. I am with my friend, Jim. He takes me to a table to sit across from a British girl. I think she's really attractive and we talk, but she wants to introduce me to her friend. There is a shift from the banquet hall to a lobby. It looks like a lobby of a cheap hotel. My old bass guitar is hanging up on the wall. I take it down and try to play Chicken Scratch, a song I played in jazz band in high school. I can't figure it out at first, but then I change the strings I'm playing on, and I slap it out like a boss. My old band director is there standing in front of me. He tells me that I can have his rehearsal bass guitar. I tell him that I already have it. There is a shift from the lobby to outside. I am in a long line of people. It seems to never stop in front of my nor behind me. We are standing on a ledge about two stories above the base of a mountain. There are only a few feet between the side of the mountain and where the ledge drops off. The girl the British girl was going to introduce me to is in front of the person in front of me. The person in front of me is on a horse, as is the person behind me. There is a very loud announcement. A man standing on a pedestal as tall as the ledge we are standing on makes a speech about reviews. The man is very tall and looks like Uncle Sam on stilts with blue and white striped pants. He says that each person will either have a 5 second review and a 5 second slide off the ledge, or will have a 10 second review and no slide off the ledge. Many people are happy and joyous, but many seem hopeless and sad. I see the slide appear next to me me and someone goes down it, then it disappears. I continue to follow the horse in front of me. The horse behind me starts to nudge me with its head. I don't want to fall off, so I try to get to the girl in front of the horse in front of me. I can't do it no matter how hard I try. I wake up.

*Minor note: I knew in my head that the way we were traveling was illegal.

Date: 19 Dec

Natural wake:500 mg ginseng

Wbtb: 22 mg caffeine

LD: We are four guys in some city in the past like the 30-50s in the winter. It feels as if we belong to a gangster organization or so and have just walked away from this store where we got some expensive long winter coats, mine was grey, the other guy's white, without paying. A group of other men is standing nearby, ready to come after us.

I become lucid but decide to play along (didn't check on my body if I was still a guy) and allow them to go after us and get the gang to start running. The bad guys slowly start coming in our direction, while we are discussing how to escape. I see a large city river running between the buildings and decide I will use it as a quick way out. My companions are a bit unsure of this, but they follow me as I go ahead with the idea I have in mind. Not quite sure if it will work, but it does. Just as I wanted, the surface of the river freezes and we get on the ice, gliding forward for couple of seconds, then walking and running. I turn back to check on the bad guys, they still seem to be in the distance. I try to manipulate the thought of where they will be. Yet, since they only seem to exist when I turn back, they are at a random distance each time. From what I can remember, the river turns into a melting snow street, I feel the dream destabilizing and try to control my speed. At some point I am running very fast, but it feels really weird as I don't feel my body the same way, whatever.

I lose track of some of my companions, then I remember I wanted to summon a horse (or raindeer) and this will be the perfect opportunity to use it to to ride faster than the chasers. Not sure how to proceed about this since I am still running, I pretend that I am already on a horse and feel as if I am riding it. The guy from our group in front of me is now riding a horse and I get the feeling that I am too. This whole thing is happening too fast for me to notice what's below, my vision is shaking from the movement and I look to the side to see if I am at a higher distance from the ground and I am. It feels as if I am riding a horse, but I am sure that there's no horse. Oh, well.

We soon reach the end of the road, get inside ? At this point the dream is quite unstable and things change a lot. I still check if the chasers are after us, and of course they are. Trying to use my eyes to spot the best place to go, I look for a place that looks more appealing. Some sort of flooded sewer, no. I just want a place where the dream continues on the street. As I look around everything closes and becomes dead end. Oops. I wonder what to do, contemplating a phase if things get too heated up and but turn around and decide to face them. The chasers are now here (since I kept thinking about them) and this guy carrying a large spiked club is getting closer. At this point, I conclude I went way too far with this "game" and mentally prepare being hit with the club. Then I remember that CL didn't feel any pain in a recent dream and maybe nothing will happen after all. The guy swings at me, but indeed nothing happens, did he even hit me?

I decide the moment is good to practice some kung fu. Another attacker approaches and we get into a struggle, but he's too hard to move initially. I still manage to throw him on the ground 2 times yet he doesn't seem to be hurt. I get distracted by thoughts and leave him standing, contemplating how are we (there is no we, but I still follow the scenario) going to deal with the bad guys. As soon as I think about us, my companions are back, but different DCs, we are five now, with a female classmate of mine being part of the team. Each of us will deal with each of them (they are four). Now there's this completely different DC attacker and I start getting a completely different idea of how to deal with him, we can seduce him with my classmate. This thought is enough and he is no longer menacing and I have other things on my mind. At this point and probably for the best, the dream ends.

1. My dad, my sister Ashley, and I are playing a video game together. It was a racing game. It involved driving through obstacles on a football field - swerving to miss players and large patches of grass. After we were finished playing Ashley pulled out a couple of DVDs she had and wanted to watch them with us. I believe it was the first and second Ace Ventura movies. Unfortunately my dad told her he didn't have time to watch it.

2. (This one is very confusing and has multiple scene shifts that don't correlate.) I am working (at Best Buy). Walt asks me if I had seen an animated children's movie where there was a computer tech bench like the one we have in Geek Squad. In reality this movie does not exist but in the dream I seem to recall it quite well and tell him yes. The store is a lot larger than normal and it looks like it is combined with an enormous pharmacy. The scene shifts.
I am in a kind of Buddhist temple. I am standing behind a curtain on a stage. To the right of me in front of the stage are a lot of children who are seated on the floor. The left seating area remains empty. Some monks enter the room and line up on stage in front of the kids. I have fuzzy memories in which the children undergo some kind of religious cleansing. The scene shifts.
I'm sitting in a cafeteria next to a girl who taps me on the shoulder. She points to a blonde in pigtails who is leaning against the wall.

"Do you think that girl is pretty?" she asks.

As she says this Natalie Portman walks beside me with a friend of hers. So instead of commenting on the random girl I say, "Well, I'm not sure, but I think Natalie Portman is much more beautiful." Cheesy I know. Natalie Portman smiles at this and pokes me in the chest as she walks by.

"Clever boy," she says.

3. The dream plays out in third person like I am watching a scene. A young woman with long brunette hair leaves a castle and enters a forest. She wears a deep purple cape. She comes to a ancient white tree and waits expectantly. It is dawn, and a beautiful white horse emerges from the trees. I get the sense that it is a mythical legendary animal, almost heavenly in nature. It comes forward and lays down at her feet. She embraces it lovingly. There is an air of sadness to it. I get the feeling that this horse was at one time a man, and her lover, and she feels pain because they can't be together again.

I saw a jeep, and flags surrounding us. Some city. The jeep has a silver horse statue on the front standing on its two hind legs and two front legs are kicking.