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    1. ccxvii. Daikatana marshes, Art anxieties, Nobody wearing a mask

      by , 01-26-2021 at 08:03 PM
      25th January 2021

      Fragment:

      Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

      I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

      26th January 2021


      Dream:

      I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

      Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

      There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

      I feel disappointed, or hurt.

      Dream:

      I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

      I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

      I can't recall where we go or end up.



      Notes:
      - Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
      -- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

      - The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

      Updated 01-26-2021 at 08:09 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    2. cxxxvi.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:46 PM
      Last catch up entry for today I think.

      23rd June 2020

      Fragment:

      Remember seeing Discord. I had been removed from the Nx server, as it was no longer on the list. My friends looked shorter too. I soon realised A wasn't on the list anymore and I presumed I'd been removed from their friends list. I checked my Steam friends list and saw the same again.

      In the dream I remember thinking this was unsurprising, but all the same, disappointing. It made me feel as though I'd been used, and made irrelevant past a certain point.



      Notes:
      - This part of whatever dream it was from surely came about as part of my emotional processing of a few things, but primarily from a wariness so as to not let myself be lied to or used.
      - In the dream I think there was some subtext of libel against me.
    3. Criticized at School

      by , 07-24-2016 at 06:51 PM
      I took a swig of vodka form a bottle, a drink of some other alcohol, and poured a tiny bit of orange juice into a shot glass and drank it.

      Later:
      I was in a classroom sitting at a table with some old school friends. They were young teenagers, and I think I was too. Our teacher was my dog's previous Dog Trainer. She mentioned something about shrimp, directed at me, I said I didn't like shrimp. She said I should maybe 'open my mind more.' I was confused but just sat there. A pretty brunette girl walked into the room with another adult/teacher. My friends whispered to themselves and then told me that I would be like that girl if I was nice. I felt hurt, and told them that I had never been purposely mean to them and asked them what had I done to treat them poorly. I decided to get up and leave the classroom.

      I went outside of the building and sat on a ledge overlooking the street. I saw a boy from my childhood (dreamt about him not so long ago, but I never think or talk to him in waking life, wonder what he represents?) skateboarding down a hill.

      The next day I went back to class after grabbing a lot of books from my locker. At my seat in class there was an attendance slip with a sea foam green ribbon on it that said 'please see Julia.' I knew it was because I had left early yesterday. We had a test on yesterday's material and I knew I wouldn't pass.The teacher seemed concerned and irritated with me, and as I left asked me to please at lest consider going to the event on Saturday. I wasn't sure what she meant.

      Thoughts:
      I went for over 2 weeks without drinking and decided to buy some wine this weekend. I drank, but didn't enjoy it as much as I previously had and looked forward to the bottle being empty so I could start 'not drinking' again. Obviously still hooked enough to not want to pour it out.
    4. Overcharging my body for Astral Projection and failing

      by , 09-19-2014 at 10:24 PM (Percy's Void of Thoughts)
      19.09.2014
      Overcharging my body for Astral Projection. (Non-lucid)

      NON-DREAM Astral Separation Attempt Astral

      Well, this was a weird experience.

      Yesterday around 2am I decided to astral travel. I wanted to project, but I wanted to super charge my astral body to be able to go as high and farther as possible. I could hear a slight buzzing on my ears (usual thing) and I focused instead of just coming out, to concentrate the energy and focus all the energy around my entire body. The buzzing got so loud, that it was as intense as if I had huge speakers. I could not hear other noise around, and there was plenty of background noise from cars, etc.

      From here, my body got completely paralyzed (I am familiar with it of course, completely normal) and then is when I wanted to go out, but then, the energy was so intense that my entire hands were hurting me huge time… not just the fingers, but the entire hands, both of them.

      I had to break the trance because due the pain I was not going to be able to come out, and actually took me a while to be able to move my body again, so it could have been a super awesome projection because I had more energy than ever.



      Could it be so much energy that my dense body could not tolerate it? What are your thoughts? I think this is what happened!
      Tags: astral, energy, fail, hurt
      Categories
      side notes
    5. 8/8/13 - He Is Going To Hurt Me

      by , 08-09-2013 at 03:43 AM
      Dream Fragment: A man is in our house. He is faceless and normal-looking. Mom turns away and I am left alone with him. He is going to hurt me.
    6. The Dream of the Mall Guerilla

      by , 01-15-2012 at 04:40 PM (Folqueraine's Oniric List)
      15.01.2012
      The Dream of the Mall Shoot-Out (DILD)

      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

      I went to the bigger island next to mine to meet a local woman whose young daughter was in the hospital. I decided to accompany her to the hospital. We drove there. The hospital was in a giant mall which was partly underground.
      Once there, we got separated because I went to buy a magazine for the little girl. I was in the shopping part of the mall, outside the checkout lanes, when
      people started firing. It was a small squad, about a dozen people. I ducked being a checkout counter. I could only hear them, so I had to guess what they were doing. They were coming from my left and getting closer, shooting people as they went. I heard the victims scream.
      There was a dead female cashier close to me so I crawled there, put some of her blood on my shirt and played dead when the squad passed by.
      When I was alone, I tried to think about what to do. Other gunmen joined the first squad, it was a little army and they were obviously professionals. They occupied the whole mall, stoping the country's forces from liberating it.
      I met other survivors in the mall and we started a resistance. We gathered a few weapons, for instance I had my commando knife with me. Some of the men were older men
      whom I met in real life about a week before. There was also a man about my age which seemed to have war experience. We fought the invaders, it was a real mall guerilla, hiding in boutiques and between shopshelves. Many people died on our side. Everybody fought, mothers, children, old people.
      There were also a few conflicts within our group. I had misunderstanding with the man of my age when I thought he'd stolen my knife, but it was a close-looking one.
      In the end, after a few days, the country's army managed to get in the mall but they realized we'd done most of the work. We were tired, dirty and hungry, so we roamed the mall for food, and the police had the nerve to tell us to stop stealing!
      Flash forward a few months: the mall has been abandonned following the blood shed. The state has decided to convert the office buildings into nice flats, and me and some of the other survivors are imagining our future life there, the landscaping, etc. As for the shopping part of the mall, it will be turned into a giant market like Rungis for the whole south of France.
      End: I'm at home when I receive a phone call from a British woman. She says she wants to meet me to make a film about the attack. For some reason I can't make out a third of what she's saying, but in the end I understand that she wants to make a film and not a documentary, and would like me to star as myself.
      Categories
      lucid
    7. Don't run over my dog!

      by , 02-17-2011 at 12:24 AM (Insights from Id)
      I was visiting my mother at her house. I noticed several large crates and boxes sitting around filled with fruit. I asked about them and discovered that my little brother was selling them. I briefly considered buying some plums, but then I noticed one of the boxes had a dog in it. It was an English bulldog who was rather large for her breed, about the size of a labrador. I bought her instead. I named her Missy and started walking home (which is impossible IRL) carrying the box with Missy in it.
      Outside, the weather was terrible. It was overcast and terribly windy. As I rounded a corner onto the street I lived on, I was walking into the wind. Holding the box, I couldn't walk, so I set the box down on the edge of the street and continued to walk, intending to get my car and come back to get her. (Note: I would never do something like this IRL) A couple guys I know from work (we'll call them S and H) were walking behind me and called me to get my attention. As I turned to see them, I saw a car rounding the corner. The drove wide and I saw them heading for the box. I screamed "Don't run ove my dog!" but the car's tires went over the box anyway. The box tumbled in one direction and Missy in another. I ran over to make sure she was okay, and it turned out her paw was the only thing that was hurt. H offered to give us a ride to the vet, then I woke up.
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    8. August 30, 2010

      by , 08-30-2010 at 07:05 PM (Requiem's DJ)
      fragmented dreams

      At Xavier's Mansion (non-lucid)

      I am the new mutant at Xavier's Mansion. Storm flies me and someone else around and shows me the outside grounds. She also shows me the sky which has compressed clouds, like a giant invisible foot is standing on them.

      Later, someone tells me the foot has been lifting and its time to fight the evil within us all. I remember there being no one else in mansion but Jean Grey is wandering outside. I go to the glass window and its broken. I step on some glass. I have to dig some glass out of my foot and it is real vivid and hurts.

      I FA and am running late for work. I run to my shoes and BroY walks through the door with eminem.

      Homeless Beast of Burden (non-lucid)

      BroX is helping an old homeless man. Gave him something to eat but the man is increasingly acting strange. Just sort of running around mindlessly making nonsensical sounds. He transforms into a gargoyle dog and is running everywhere knocking everything over.