Recent DJ Posts

My husband was seeing someone else. We were polyamorous but I was unhappy. He and a woman and some other friends went to comedy show without me. I was devastated.
Walking down street trying to get to apt 4 at night. Raining? My best friend from high school [C] was my roommate but moving back to Europe with a grant to write something. We never talked although we lived together.

I was at a class– Spelling? Woman with baby used buzzer instead if clapping for asking questions. My husband and his girlfriend were in class before me
I told his gf how unhappy I was after I talked to my husband and asked him if it had to be this way. No one cared about my feelings.

My dog was locked in a room. It had a glass window, like recording booth. I somehow got her out and she turned into a large grey spider. I wanted her to change back, so I held onto her. Someone else there saw her and recognized bug as a 'world burther.'

Thought I saw my husband in a red [unreadable] with a baby going, to a show in a crowd of people. I ran up and hugged him but it wasn't him.

A strange man told me to come to the show to watch out for my husband. I began thinking I might divorce him. I thought about asking my parents if I could move in with them. I thought about how I was a burden to my parents.

In my dream my husband is out of town (as he is in real life).

In my dream I asked a coworker out on a date, and he happily accepted.

See this is a perfect example of why I want to lucid dream. This is not who I am in waking life. This is not who I want to be. This is not who I choose to be.

Yes, I am lonely when my husband is out of town I get it.
I will also admit that I like this coworker ... as a coworker, as a buddy, as someone to share ideas with and to joke with.

Infidelity is a big no-no for me, and I also get that my mind therefore decided to present me with this scenario to shock me, to tell me "See I know how to push your buttons." Here is something that would really bother you.

But we already knew that! We already knew that I am struggling with self-esteem issues and with taking control over who I want to perceive myself as and deciding what is proper.

This however I know is not proper. And I refuse to think that I "need" this, so subconscious fuck off! I am going to relearn lucid dreaming, and make sure that I get to decide what I do and what is right for me.

If I am so fucking lonely tonight, why not give me a dream of my husband instead. That would have been nice, ok? But no, my subconscious, you decided to play games with me. Well, I don't appreciate that!

In an hour I need to get up and go to work and face this coworker, and forget that my subconscious asked him out on a date.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in my neighborhood on a cool, sunny day. I saw a blossoming tree, probably a young cherry tree, on the block caddy-corner from me. I saw it as if I were up the street frfom my corner (kind of to the north), while the tree was off from its corner as well (to the east).

Somehow I knew the world was going to end. I started either seeing or sensing check-mark boxes, like check-fields on a computer screen. As certain "symptoms" of doomsday were being listed, the check-mark boxes would turn green, as if to say this had already happened. Everything stated was being checked.

Dream #2

There was a man, possibly wearing a white suit, standing in a dark room. He was lit by a shaft of light which had little, stick-like patterns of black scattered throughout it. On either side of the man another light scheme played. This one was mostly black, with little, stick-like patterns of white scattered through it. The white lines may have been straighter and more ordered than the black lines. They may also have been totally vertical. These lights may also have flickered or strobed on and off, possibly to music, and possibly as the man danced.

Dream #3

I was in some really big hotel "in Brooklyn." The hotel almost seemed to be in ruins, just a shell of an old, magnificent hotel. But there were a lot of people in there, and it seemed like they were guests. But the windows and doors all seemed to be hollowed out, the floor was just concrete, and the walls were just some kind of golden brick.

I heard or felt an earthquake (or just heard that there was an earthquake?). I went outside to see if I could feel it.

I stood out on some huge bridge, which may have been the Brooklyn Bridge. The bridge was made of tan-gold bricks. A deep, blue sky arched over it. The bridge began to heave up and down in sine-wave movements.

I now stood out on what may have been a deck for the big hotel. It was just a big, concrete area looking out over a big river (the East River?) and shaded by the height of the building. There were a bunch of people outside with me. We were all relaxed. It was like we were having a party.

Suddenly there was a feeling of dizziness and swaying. People started saying, "Whoa... whoa..." as if they were trying to get their balance. I looked down. The concrete now looked like the walkway for the Manhattan Bridge. But it was swaying and bulging. I knew this was an earthquake, but I didn't want to believe it was. It seemed like an earthquake would be really inconvenient at this moment.

It was now like I stood on a floor high up in the building. I was with a few other people. The building began swaying. It swayed so much I thought it was going to fall right over. It seemed really flexible, really elastic. It swayed down at one point so I saw some scene of concrete and rusty metal as if from a bird's eye view.

The room I was in then seemed to be "shaken loose" from the building. The room, possibly a whole floor, was drifting down to some area that also looked like ruined tangles of iron and conrete. But I kept thinking there was a chance that the room would manage to float all the way over the the Manhattan Bridge. I really wanted to be on a bridge while the earthquake was happening.

Dream #4

I was in a living room with two women. The feeling of the living room was very strange. It was almost like it was inside a house in the suburbs, but that the house was somehow on stilts or up a very high staircase.

The living room seemed pretty big. It was kind of dim, as if only one pale light was on in the room. The walls may have had some kind of pale sea-green color. The two women sat at a table. The table was covered with plush toys like stuffed animals. The two women sat next to each other on a long side of the table, which was just wide enough for them both. I knelt before the table, kind of low, so that I was barely poking my head above the table top.

I had gotten a gift for the woman on my right. This woman had a very boyish look and short hair. But she was still very pretty. I don't know what the gift was. Maybe it had been another plush toy.

The other girl laughed that I had gotten a gift for the first girl. Without her saying anything, I could tell why the second girl was laughing. Both the girls were lesbians, though they weren't lovers with each other.

The second girl, who was maybe in her late teens or early twenties, prettyish, with pale skin and long, brown hair, didn't think I knew the two girls were lesbians. She loved seeing boys express their love either for her or the first girl, and then somehow making it known that they were both gay, and making the boy feel stupid.

I was kind of annoyed by the second girl's intentions, even though I knew them ahead of time. I hadn't gotten the first girl a gift because I loved her. We had apparently worked together, and she had been a really good co-worker. So I wanted to give her a gift to show her my appreciation.

The first girl stood up and walked away. Some other things may have happened. We may all have been milling around the house for a bit. There were now a few other people in the house.

I had walked to the other end of the living room. I now turned around and walked back. There were two or three folding tables arranged in an "L" shape and cluttered over with stuff like quilts. A black or Latina woman, maybe in her late thirties, sat behind the table making the base of the "L."

I approached the woman to ask her if there was anything I could do for her. The woman was talking as if she were just finishing up talking to a group of students, for whom she was trying to coordinate some activity. But there didn't seem to be any students around.

The woman may then have spent some time explaining to me how serious she was about her work. The woman had a slightly brash, no-nonsense voice. But I could tell she really cared about people, including me -- for some reason!

The woman told me, "Yeah, go up in there and clean up the mess on the floor. But if you don't want to, you don't have to."

So I went "up there," which was a room at the other end of the living room, through a set of swinging doors. A little, black boy followed me into the room. It was a long, kind of narrow room. It may have looked a little like a dining room, with a few long dining tables in it. But it also had a lot of bookshelves along the walls (as well as really nice, big, tall windows shaded by sheer, white curtains). And there seemed to be toys on the floor.

At first I thought the job of cleaning up the floors was going to be easy -- too easy. I'd wanted a job that would make me feel like I'd really "helped the kids" (???), but this job would be over in just a few moments. The little, black boy had skip-run to the end of the rfoom and was now skip-dancing around.

I looked at the floor more closely. There was actually a lot of stuff like dough on the floor. Some of it may actually have been smashed into the maroon-colored carpet. I was relieved. This looked like a decent job. But I was uncertain whether I could actually get such sticky stuff as dough all the way out of this carpet.

The organizer woman then told me (as if I stood in front of her again) that I didn't need to clean the floor if it was going to be too big a job. She actually told me that I simply should not clean up the floor if the job looked like it was going to require a lot of effort, as this would simply be overkill.

I may have half-heartedly told the woman, "But I want to clean the floor." I wanted to do something useful.

Dream #5

I was in a living room. I stood before a couch. My friend EI, who tends bar at places where I do karaoke, sat on the left (my left) side of the couch. A man who I didn't quite see sat on the right side. The couch, as well as the living room, seemed to be cluttered with stuff like blankets and plush toys.

It felt like there was a party going on here, although I couldn't see anybody else in the room. The room also seemed quiet. The light in the room was pale, as if lit by a strong, cold incandescdent (or LED?) bulb.

The man may have been of medium height, pale white, with a slight beard and messy, short, brown hair. He may have been wearing a really baggy, dark sweater and dark pants. He may possibly have given the impression that he didn't want to talk to me.

EI and I started talking. We were soon quite aroused by each other. I told EI that I really shouldn't do anything. My friend H was in the next room, studying. H and I were pretty much together. So if H saw EI and I making out, she'd be really upset.

But even as I was saying this, I was starting to embrace EI. EI was wearing something like a dancer's outfit. It was hot pink, spandex-like material, in two pieces. The top was like a very short cut shirt, almost like a bra with short sleeves. The skirt was also very short, like an ice skater's skirt and bottom.

I embraced EI and began kissing her belly, then kissing up her chest and neck. All this time I was telling her that we really shouldn't do this. EI looked really happy with what I was doing to her.

EI was so tiny (she's pretty tiny IWL, but she was even tinier!). I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her short skirt was turning me on so much. I moved my head down so I could put my face on her crotch.

But for some reason, EI was now straddling me on the couch. Suddenly, H opened a door to the right (my right) of the couch. She poked her head out and called my name, a little matter-of-factly. I tried to say that I was telling EI we shouldn't do this.

I walked into the bedroom from which H had popped out her head. I was now laying on the bed with H. H was reading from some sort of textbook. She wore a pale brown t-shirt. The bed was just a mattress on the floor. The mattress and everything else in the room seemed really cluttered.

I had explained to H that I hadn't meant to get that involved with EI. H seemed to be okay with everything I was saying. I started kissing H softly. But she kind of pushed me off, saying she needed to study.

I walked out of H's room through a door on the wall to the left of the wall with the door through which I had entered.

I was now in a long, dim, narrow room. The room was lit with warm, dim, red and yellow light -- almost like a dim, incandescent light offset by red holiday lights. I sat in some strange, narrow space with two women. The space was like a wooden bench, a barrier made of thin, twisty, black-iron bars, and some long, thin, wooden chest of drawers. But I'm not sure how it was all arranged.

The space seemed to be set at the edge of a living room, to face a ledge down to a little, red-stone-tiled entrance area for the house. Behind us, the living room may have had one dim area with a dining table, behind which was a more normally-lit area, which was larger and possibly more like a living room.

One of the women was very boyish-looking. She was blonde, with shaggy hair. She wore a baggy, green, flannel shirt and blue jeans. She looked a little like the blonde son on the TV show Home Improvement. But her face had a sharper, more delicate look, and her faced, though tan, had an almost Spenserian combination of ivory skin and rosy cheeks. That alone made her strikingly attractive to me.

The other woman was a pretty, young woman, possibly with pale skin and black hair. The first woman and I had found the second woman on the road somewhere. We brought her here to this place.

The second woman started telling us the story of her life, and how she'd ended up on the street. The story was really sad. But the woman was so adorable that, even as she recounted her tribulations, she was really turning me on. She was also arousing the first woman.

The first woman and I walked away from the second woman. We were now in another room, which was a double room. The first part of the room was lit with soft, incandescent light and had a big chest of drawers at its center. The second part of the room had no light of its own. It had a round dining table.

The first woman and I first stood by the big chest of drawers. I thought the woman was going to tell me how she was so attracted to the second woman. I figured I'd have to leave this place while the first woman seduced the second woman.

But the woman instead told me that she'd been really impressed by the concern that I'd shown the second woman. She'd also thought it was cute that I'd been turned on by the second woman.

The first woman and I were now sitting at the table. The woman said, "So I've decided. I'm just going to do it. Right now. Three, two, one."

The woman suddenly kissed me. She kissed me quickly, backed her head away, then kissed me again. She backed away and seemed about to kiss me again. But I stopped her. I said I couldn't do this.

H popped her head out from another door and called for me. I didn't go to H this time. But her entrance into the scene did get me to stop kissing the woman.

Later I was in the first part of the room. There were a few other people there, like for a party. The chest of drawers had been set up as a buffet, with a lot of different dishes of food.

I walked over to the back side of the buffet to get some food. As I did, the first and second woman were walking away. Their backs were turned to me, and they hadn't seen me.

I noticed that both the women had extremely huge rear ends. I knew time had passed since I had last seen them. I figured they must both have gotten really overweight in the time that had passed. I thought I had been pretty lucky not to have gotten involved with them.

But I wondered if they hadn't been so terribly overweight when I'd first met them. I thought maybe they had been deceptively thin on their upper bodies, so that I'd just assumed they were thin overall. I also thought that maybe they'd disguised their being overweight with baggy clothes.

(I try not to think so shallowly in waking life. I also try not to judge anybody based on their appearance.)