Recent DJ Posts

Dreams were forgotten when I was woke up this morning by stabbing pains in my kidneys. They still hurt. I don't know if I have kidney stones or an infection or if all of these yrs of meds are catching up to me. I had a couple of sharp pains last week & have been drinking a lot of cran-grape to flush them but I wonder if even that is good or bad. Mike & I were talking about how he had his blood drawn a couple of months ago & that maybe they should do mine on my next visit. I think he's right.

Dream - Lucid

I was playing a game that looked like it was on a handheld system. It had 8 or 16 bit graphics, I can't remember which, but they reminded me of Gameboy graphics. It was a League of Legends-type game. You'd walk around and kill other players, but your health bar at the top was also tracking the health of your kidneys. It would randomly go up or down and show a percentage off the the side as well, showing how healthy your kidneys were. If you got hit while your kidneys were at low health, you would die. My character had low kidney health the first game, and the health bar kept dropping. There was someone playing with me, walking next to me. I think their kidneys were in better health than mine. I think my character lost their life because of the low kidney health, though I can't recall for sure. I played more than once. I remember encountering enemies and seeing their attacks affect my health and retreating, though even after my retreat, my health still went down. I remember having just a tiny bit left at one point.

~

I was in a bar with some friends. We had stopped there on the way to a hotel. I was going to have a party at the hotel. At the bar, I thought I saw my mom, but she looked a little different and was a bit taller. I made note to tell my mom I saw her "twin". When I saw her from the side, she looked substantially different.

More people started to show up to the bar, David from my old job, Sara from high school, and Sarah from my old job being the ones I remember. Sarah had bought some weed on the way there. I looked in my purse, unzipped the inside pocket, and saw it in there. This was gonna be an awesome party!

We were then in the hotel room, which had two beds, partying it up. There were lots of people there. Sara was making everyone laugh as she so often did in high school. Sarah was in a blue strapless dress like the one she recently wore at a wedding IWL. I don't know where David was anymore. Anyway, we were playing video games as well. It was a lot of fun. I also smoked weed at some point. I also saw an above-view of the party at one point, almost as if I was viewing the scene from a security camera. I saw some girls that are good friends with Sarah, A and K. I saw that K was walking with silver, metal prosthetic legs. At first I wasn't sure if that's what I was seeing or not, and kept watching her. Sure enough. they were metal legs. I wondered what had happened, but I knew it hadn't happened long ago, and was amazed at how quickly she had recovered and learned to walk with prosthesis. I then saw her walking into the bathroom, one of her legs being kind of wobbly. I had a feeling it would fall off. I then saw her walking out of the bathroom holding the leg. I saw the stump where her real leg had been.

Then, at some point, my mom showed up. I don't know why, but she did. I didn't want to hear her lecture me as she is so good at doing. I think she did, though I'm not sure what it was about. I don't remember much about this part.

Then, it was the next day. There were few people around now, as most had gone home. I was wondering whether I still had the weed in my purse. I checked, and there it was. I thought about how Sarah had probably only bought a little for the party, but would buy a lot for herself. I then was wondering if I still had a piece the smoke out of or not. I knew Sarah had taken the piece we were using the night before. I didn't think I had anything but one that was old and broken. I thought about rolling it up in small pieces of printer paper and smoking it. I then thought about how I had already smoked the night before, and how I had just kissed almost two years of sobriety goodbye. I didn't feel an overwhelming urge to smoke though, which was good I suppose. I guess I felt like I could take it or leave it, but I still wanted to take it. I dunno, hard to explain.

~

I was in a kitchen, throwing things away in the overflowing trashcan. There were plates and bowls in there that looked like Dallas and I's waking life plates and bowls. They were at the top. They were stacked there because there was no room to put them in the sink either.

I then saw that my cat had fleas, and was itching like crazy. She had a balding spot on her back from all the scratching. I knew it was time to get her a flea treatment. I needed help giving it to her though, so I went to go ask Cherie' to help me. I walked up to Cherie' and told her I was going to get Ziggy some flea meds (Ziggy was a cat I had years ago IWL; my current cat's name is Belle). We were in a weird place that looked like it was outside also, by the intersection that was close to our IWL apartment. I then told her something about her insurance, and I was getting these letters from it saying they needed something from her, money probably. She asked me why I hadn't told her about that before. I don't remember my response. The insurance stuff had something to do with the overflowing trashcan in the kitchen, though I can't remember what.