Recent DJ Posts

Sleep: I had a crazy weekend, it started with me waking up around 7:30 am on Friday, going to work, then have a dope project I can't disclose yet afterwards until midnight, then with an hour and a half worth of sleep I go to the airport and travel to Manchester, didn't sleep in the plane even though I tried. I stay awake in Manchester for the full 24 hours as I go drinking with my intrrnet friends, and go to an ambient festival from 7 pm until 4 am. I have a few moments where I put on sunglasses and sit down, closing my eyes for a bit. After the festival, without any accomodation, I just stay awake, getting to that hypnagogic hallucination stage, getting to the airport, having some brief 5-10 minute naps followed by some sleep in the plane, to arriving home and sleeping for 13 hours

My friends from high school are sitting outside ln a bench in the snow, arguing about a New Year's themed film featuring Timmy Turner's parents where the dad has an argument with the mom and he replaces the mom with a robot clone and it starts a discussion between my friends about what would be a great ending until one of the friends tells that the discussion is pointless saying it's not possible to have an ending that would please everyone for a story like that.

I ask my friends about their new year's plans, and they told me Tinder date now became Tinder dates because Tinder added a group chat function.

Dream was in Dutch.

A trope as old as time itself. The story of boy meets girl. It began a park owned by the Britannia Family. For those unfamiliar, The Britannias are mostly antagonistic characters of the anime, Code Geass. I don't know what I was doing there but I do remember that I probably wasn't supposed to be there. I remember that it was a place for elites and I was anything but. I slipped through the gates undetected though I could feel the scrutinizing gaze of those around me. Some were questioning my presence there and it made me really uncomfortable. I never faced anyone but I could almost sense their stares. This, however did nothing to take away from the beauty of park. The tall sakura trees contrasted beautifully against the clear blue sky. The grass was lush and green and the lake was such a beautiful shade of blue it was almost unreal.

Perhaps it was sheer happenstance or perhaps it was in my efforts to distance myself from the dubious elites. Either way, I somehow ended up crossing paths with Princess Euphemia V. Britannia (one of the few Britannia characters who isn't kind of a dick). I saw her with her assistant whom I will name "Stacy." Stacy was not a character in the show. I vaguely remember what she looked like. She had a green skin tight shirt and brunette hair. Euphemia was just as stunning as ever as her natural pink hair complimented her ensemble. I didn't approach as I did not want to intrude. Euphemia was having a picnic with her date Sam Malone from the TV show, "Cheers." Just as in the show Sam was kind of an ass. However, he was different in the dream than he was in the show. In the show he is just a funny, pleasant and although he can be an ass he knows when to dial it back. But in this dream he was just a straight up asshole.

I began to observe Euphemia's and Sam's life together over the years. I saw them together in Sam's bar at one point and the whole time Sam was just plain mean. I could not believe that she would be with a person like that. Stacy seemed to share my sentiment as she disapproved of Euphemia's decision to be with him and had no problems in expressing this. I don't know what happened between them as a result of this. As time went by I began to recall an opportunity I had to ask Euphemia out myself and I began to regret my decision not to. Then, for no particular reason, time reset itself.

I was back at the entrance of the park and just as before I slipped through ignoring to judging stares of the elites who were there. There was a small dirt path that curved around the lake which I somehow knew would lead me to Euphemia I followed it but was put off by the elites around me and so I decided to stray from the path and find another way. I eventually found Sam, Stacy, and Euphemia having a picnic as before. I took note of the mistakes that Sam made and made sure to never make them. I wanted to talk to her and tell her how I felt but I was nervous. Now Stacey seemed to know how I felt as she addressed and encouraged me to speak with Euphemia. She must have thought that I would be the better option than him. Somehow Euphemia ended up breaking up with Sam right then and there and I was able to befriend and talk with her. In spite of the growing friendship I still felt that the time was not right to make my move. Stacy took note of my trepidation and encouraged me to tell Euphemia how I felt.

Stacy was right. I turned to the princess, once again taken by her pulchritude and gentleness. Would she really go for a guy like me? There was only one way to find out. I pushed my fears aside, threw caution to the wind and made my move. A bold decision that I would not come to regret.

My subconscious rarely tells me happy love stories. It was interesting though, and there were also moments where we heard each others thoughts.

My character was not defined, I wasn't precisely myself, but I wasn't a character from the show. My love interest was actor Matt Ryan wearing the guise of John Constantine from the TV series. He wore his trademark white button-up, loosened tie and black slacks. I feel like there was more before this point and I just don't remember. Anyway. Constantine is lying supine on a flat elevated surface, in a barren living room with one large window and dull beige carpet. There are two other people in the house, a man and a woman. We are holed up here while we wait for some threat to descend, they hate John and me by association. The man comes into the room and hovers over John who is clearly unconscious.
At first he only mutters insults under his breath but soon this abuse escalates to pinches and prods. I rush to his aid, yelling at the man to stop, hastily dropping to my knees beside Constantine's head as he stirs restlessly. He raises his head and shoulders wrongly convincing me that he's conscious. I cradle his head to my folded knees with one hand and grab the man's wrist with the other to stop him, but he proves too strong and wrests himself from my grip. He lands several blows to John's rib cage, growling at him.
John's eyes snap open, fogged with confusion and enraged by the intrusion. In a moment of fast building tension, the man's aggression begins to peak, incensed by Constantine's own irritation. I know that if he lashes out he'll just regret it. I try turning his attention to me by speaking his name. He doesn't notice and just smacks weakly at his assailant telling him to bugger off. Jesus, he has the accent and everything. It's confusing, John recoils under a rain of shallow strikes, but once John is lucid, it's his acidic remarks that turn the man on his heels.
"Hey, I'm sorry okay?" The apology turns his focus to me. "I tried to stop him, but he was too strong." I need him to know I wasn't just standing by while someone hurt him. My hair falls in a dark curtain past my shoulder as I lean over him, my palm to his cheek, fingers along his jaw. His expression is unusually...soft, unguarded, like he's not sure he's awake. It startles me because I'm not used to seeing him without his sardonic armor. I realize he has said something to me and I was too busy staring at him to hear it. "What?"
Why are you looking at me like that? he thinks, saying "Is everything alright?"
I notice also that one of his eyes is half green and half brown, split vertically. It's extraordinary. "Yes." I say, thinking I've never noticed your eye before...I brush my thumb across his cheekbone, he closes his eyes all the tension easing from his face. I know he would like me to believe that this attraction is one sided so I withdraw my hand and eventually he sits up and I leave him.

The second part has a little WoW mixed in. There's a complex building, a dark warren of rooms and narrow halls. A young woman in our group was turned by a supposed ally and brought here by a cultist, to cast a spell that would serve the Rising Darkness. I slip into the hallway from the courtyard. The door at the other end stands open and I see one black-robed cultist raising her arms and chanting. In the first room to my left is an Ogre boss that I know I'll have to kill before going into the final room. I turn to fight. It shakes its weapon overhead, enraged at the sight of me. I seriously miscalculated, it wasn't alone and I died horribly, so I had to run back to my corpse like in the game. By the time I returned it was all over.
The house suddenly feels busy, Constantine comes into the Ogre room through a broken window, followed by Chaz and several others. The daylight shines white behind him, outlining his frame in a glowing aura. His face is what strikes me though, his features are grimly worried and exhausted, with a thin sheen of sweat. His dark eyes glitter in the half light, and I hear his thought clearly. You're better off without me, love.
But I'm not. I think.
This has never happened to me before, it is not a sensation I'm familiar with even when awake so this was also particularly striking. An ache settled into my chest and arms with the absence of him. Never have I been so consumed with the need to embrace a person and I couldn't decide what was worse: the haunted way he was looking at me, or the negative space between us.
I close the span between us and and whisper a word past the sudden knot in my throat, unable to articulate my feelings. It was unthinkable to leave him standing there alone, to leave this aching unattended. When did this longing become such a deep, unspoken part of our interactions? When did it become this?
I knew then that he would have left without telling me and had instead came here to my rescue. I had, after all, charged off on my own. Our arms went fluidly around each other, two halves suddenly made whole. The malaise vanished. I could feel where his wrists crossed between my shoulder blades, unyielding as stone, he was solid. Real. I was short, like my waking self, so the top of my head only reached his shoulder. His shirt felt coarse against my cheek and ear where they pressed hard against his chest, I could feel the fine tremor that shook throughout his entirety. Because this hurt too, in a different way. I feel one of his hands move up and the pull of my hair on my scalp as his hand clenched into a fist in it before settling on the back of my neck. No, I wasn't better off at all.

There's a lapse and I'm most definitely myself, in my kitchen, talking to my dad on the phone. This was a couple days after my first student showcase where I've been learning guitar, and I didn't invite my dad because he can be overly critical. He has heard about the showcase and called to ask why he didn't know about it until after. He has somehow seen a recording of it and starts in on my performance. I get really angry and start yelling at him, saying "THIS IS WHY YOU WEREN'T INVITED." I drop the phone, and people in the other room can hear my argument. Constantine thinks I've hung up and mentions loudly to someone nearby that he can't believe someone would treat their daughter this way and calls my dad an asshole. Because I'm actually still on the phone, I start talking loudly hoping my dad didn't hear any of that....and then I woke up.

Apparently I like anti-heroes. *eye-roll*

Post-edit 12/22/2014: Okay, so on the 12th I watched the most recent episode of Constantine. I borrowed a few elements, but I hadn't watched it closely because I was getting ready for work and I only just now really sat down to watch it.

Spoiler for Vague Constantine Spoilers (Because I'm too lazy to go into exact detail):

So the interesting bit here isn't what I borrowed from what I watched before the dream, it's in what I didn't know I was borrowing until just now.
Very loosely: A character is kidnapped, it sounds like it's by a cult.
They introduce the Big Bad for the season, a group of warlocks everyone thought has been extinct for eons.
A woman they thought was their friend betrayed John.
How I touched John's face in the dream mirror's John's action toward a woman near the end of the episode.
I saw Chaz climbing in through the broken window holding the same knife as at the end of the episode.

Certain lyrics from The Honey Trees songs, Golden Crown and Siren.

-just a fragment-

I was dating my ex again or something, which was very weird. And I were at his house, where a girl from school was too. In my waking life I'm very close to her. I was spending much time with her in my dream, then something happened.. and my ex broke up with me ..again. The same way as in my waking life. Only with some extra weird details, such as crashing against the door and seeing a couch move from 2nd floor. It was a dark red couch.
I also dreamt of another breakup, but I wasn't involved. And that didn't happen in real life.. xD they are still together.
During the dream, I felt rather scared. I was sweating when I woke up.

Enteme.

We were walking around a place that I knew from my memories. My 8th grade retreat. Of course, nothing looked the same, but I still seemed to remember it all. She gave me a yearbook that she had just whisked up out of thin air. I looked through it and remembered all the great times I never really had. We went to go sit down on a hillside that was basically just dirt. As we sat there, admiring the view, we talked about our memories and eventually got to the topic of how much we missed each other. I got close to her, wrapped my arms around her waist while she laid back on my chest...when suddenly two women passed by. They screamed her name, “R____!” with a hint of anger in their voice. We turned our heads towards them. She whispered the words “oh shit.”. She sat up straight and asked what they wanted. They told her to come down and they needed to ask her something...as soon as she was close to them, one of them looked at me and mouthed the words, “stay away from her” in a way of trying to give me advice. But something struck me...stay away? How could I stay away? ….stay away from someone so close to me? Stay away from someone who means the world to me? Stay away from someone who understands me the most? From someone whom I would like to stay with for the rest of my life?...stay away from someone that I love so much, its indescribable?.....impossible. Never.
I got up and made my way after her down the hill. They finished talking and we walked back to school, which was apparently close by. As we passed by H building I saw a good friend of mine, G_____. I talked with him and messed around but then I noticed something. She left and vanished somewhere. The bell rang and I walked to my 4th period, she wasn't there. After class was over, I called her and asked her where she was. She said to me in a panting voice “walking to school, why??” I yelled in shock “walking to school?!? what the fuck! You were right next to me!” with that she seemed to have no answer and hung up the phone. I was very angry.
I walked towards my locker and I happened to see her chatting with other people and I pulled her aside. For some reason everything that I said earlier went out the window and I poured out all my feelings for her. Yet she already knows about my feelings...but I guess not quite enough. As I pulled her aside, I grew a sincere face and said the words “I love you R____.” she agreed back and said the same thing. I explained to her how much she meant to me and that I don't want to be “just” friends. I wanted us to be more than that. I said “this is to the point where I can't just tell you how much I love you, I want to be able to show my affection...I want to be able to hold your hands like this(as if you were playing a game of mercy)...I want to be able to hold you against me and place a kiss on your lips” with that we stared into each others eyes, wanting to do just that. But something was holding us back...somehow, someway, we overcame it, and I quickly yet gracefully placed a kiss on her lips and didn't move. The feelings all sparked up and flew into the air like fireworks and burst into the letters H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S...I woke up from all the excitement, and yet became disappointed....I'll never know her response.