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    1. 2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction - communication with stomach

      by , 12-11-2018 at 10:45 PM
      Non-lucid – NoteslucidInterpretationwake/dream visuals/visions

      2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction leads through death to a search for stronger communication with my stomach, realised through talking to a white horse/camel.

      This entry will be written in Danish as I intend to use it in therapy.

      Drømmen starter med at jeg ser et opslag på Facebook. Dette er et som Casper Møller har delt og er et billede og en tekst af 1:1 revelations (kan ikke huske navnet) med en mand der ligger på en mellemting mellem en sarkofag og et operationsbord. Det har en meget stærkt tema om Lucifer, hans fald og periodiske genopstandelse før Jesus vender tilbage. Billedet er også en video og jeg klikker på den og en stemme går i gang med at læse teksten op.

      Mens teksten læses op suges jeg ind I scenariet. Jeg bliver til en dæmonisk skikkelse, der ligner en klassisk grå alien fra diverse film. Det er mig der opererer på manden der ligger på bordet. Der er en forholdsvis ondskabsfuld stemning, som dog skifter I løbet af forløbet. På en eller anden måde stopper den her alien/jeg op og får ændret situationen og gennemfører ikke operationen. Faktisk kommer en anden alien ind I billedet og ser ud til at glæde sig til at deltage, men den første begynder at slå sig selv I stykker og på grund af et eller andet han har lavet på operationsbordet betyder det at den nye tilkommer også begynder at gå I stykker.

      Dette får dem begge til at flygte. De flygter ud af lange og smukke gange, der er rødlige og har et royalt udseende, og mens de flygter ses der billeder af maget muskuløse mænd og kentauere der bliver vækket – på en eller anden måde med fornyet gejst på grund af rumvæsnernes flugt – og jager rumvæsnerne ud.

      Scenariet skifter hurtigt til at se paladset udenfor. Det virker til at finde sted på en anden planet, men det er lyst og det ser meget æstetisk og majestætisk ud. Ud fra det sted hvor den lange gang ville være kommer nu et gylden sfærisk fartøj, som er rumvæsnernes. Det beskyder byen under det med nogle gyldne laser stråler, men besvares så rigeligt af byens blå laser stråler og forsvinder til sidst.

      Der skippes.

      Jeg ligger udenfor ved en svømmepøl, jeg ved blot at jeg ligger og der er en fornemmelse af at ting “stopper”. Dette finder sted et par gange. Vejret er grålig og det virker til at det trækker op til regn, selvom det har en sydlandsk feriestemning over sig. Der sidder fire mennesker foran mig, hvor en af dem er min mor. Muligvis min kusine, min far og en fjerde ubekendt. Min mor fortæller.

      “Nåh, han er i gang med hans døds-process” og insinuerer at det bare skal have lov til at fortsætte.

      Jeg er meget forvirret hver gang jeg vågner og det er svært helt at beskrive hvad der sker. Min bevidsthed fortætter ligesom og jeg føler mig stadig som mig selv, men det er som om der er noget der stopper og som om at det hele stivner til og jeg falder ind I mig selv.

      Da det er ved at være overstået vender min mor sig imod mig og krammer mig, på en kvælende og klam måde, som gør at jeg bliver nødt til at skubbe hende væk. Hun spørger mig: “Du gennemgik din døds-process, det var meget spændende, hvor mange gange døde du?” hvortil jeg svarer “Det ved jeg ikke helt, måske 3-5”.

      Da jeg svarer dette er vi nu indenfor I et hotel, med et meget ru gulv med små sten der har en gummiagtig karakter at gå på. Det hele er meget blåligt og jeg siger. “Jeg ved ikke helt hvor jeg er, det er enormt forvirrende det hele, det eneste jeg kan se er at jeg er I et blåt hotel, jeg aner ikke hvorfor eller hvor lang tid vi har været her.” Jeg kan ikke huske om min mor rent faktisk spørger mig om jeg kan huske mit værelsesnummer, men jeg siger I hvert fald “jeg bor på værelse 422”, hvortil min søster og mor griner en smule og en af dem siger: “Nej du bor på værelse 527”.

      Jeg føler mig ikke stødt over deres latter, men finder en trappe jeg kan gå op af der kan tage mig til mit værelse. Den første trappe går ikke højt nok op, mens den anden faktisk går højt nok op og også indikerer at mit værelse ligger lige rundt om hjørnet. Problemet er blot at der er en glasplade der fungerer som et bord lige overfor trappen I hjørnet der blokkerer, eller I det mindste gør det enormt besværligt og måske endda lidt farligt, min vej. Endvidere når jeg kigger hen til venstre I retningen af mit værelse kan jeg se at vejen er spæret af en glasdør og bagved dem står der nogle lamper der indikerer at den vej er brugt som et hyggehjørne og vil gøre det hele endnu mere besværligt. Så jeg vælger i stedet at gå ned igen.

      Jeg går udenfor og har min madras med som jeg normalt sover på. Den skal børstes af og det går op for mig at der er nogle eller en person(er) der ofte går over den og efterlader en masse sand på den, så den skal rystes. Jeg kan også mærke en smule irritation omkring det, men ved ikke helt hvem det er.

      Herefter skifter scenen til at jeg nu ligger på min madras på mit værelse I hovedgård, som det ser ud. Kaiseren – eller I hvert fald en mørk skikkelse med hans energi – kommer ind og giver mig en dåse danskvand. Jeg åbner den og begynder ivrigt at drikke da jeg er super tørstig. Kaiseren siger “Pas på med at drikke for meget, det kan være giftigt”. Jeg drikker – lidt trodsigt – halvdelen af dåsen hurtigt, og sætter den fra mig og siger “Det gør ikke noget det gør ikke noget for mig det her” og kan mærke at jeg stadig er ekstremt tørstig og tør om munden.

      Jeg hopper ud af sengen og går ud af en dør og befinder mig nu I en baggård. Der er en have-lignende stemning, det er lidt mørkt og der står en palme I midten af græsset. En ældre kvinde med kort krøllet gråt hår og store runde briller – mens jeg skriver dette kommer en tredje association ind – som minder om min Moster og Kirsten, min terapeut, men også en klient jeg har – Lotte.

      Hun siger “Dennis du bliver nødt til at forbinde dig med din mave, den kan nok være lidt svær at komme I kontakt med fordi du putter så meget lort I den.” Jeg svarer: “Jamen det lyder mega fedt, jeg vil vildt gerne I mere kontakt med min mave” og tænker straks på de nylige spændinger, smerter og ukendte emotionelle påvirkninger jeg har oplevet.

      Jeg begynder at blive lucid her da jeg begynder at kalde “Mave! Mave!” hvor den kvindelige figur stopper op og siger: “Du skal følge vinden, hvis du vil finde hvad du søger”. Hun får implicit fortalt at jeg blot skal finde den retning hvor der er direkte modvind hvis jeg vil etablere kontakt til min mave igen.

      Jeg er vildt begejstret for dette trick og kan mærke at jeg kan bruge det I fremtidige drømme også. Jeg drejer mig rundt – imod uret – og finder ud af at der hvor vinden blæser mig lige I fjæset er der en lille sti imellem to bygninger der leder ud til vejen. Jeg begynder at gå derhen og ser en strandpromenade, som minder om den jeg har været på så mange gange I Thailand, og mens jeg går råber jeg “Mave!” gentagen.

      Jeg ser en Raptor gå forbi udenfor og bliver en smule skeptisk. Jeg snupper en kort pause og fortsætter så. Nu kommer jeg ud og kan se ned på vejen – jer er pludselig I et hotelværelse – og der går en masse spændende mennesker, dyr og andre objekter jeg kunne interagere med dernede.

      Jeg råber igen “Mave!” og ser til venstre, hvor der går en T-Rex, som jeg jo har historie med, og træder et skridt tilbage. Jeg står nu I et relativt lille og mørkt hotelværelse, foran vinduet der er firkantet og med klart sol lys skinnende igennem. Jeg beslutter mig for at hvis det er T-Rexen jeg skal snakke med for at komme I kontakt med min mave, så må det være sådan det er u-anset hvor bange jeg måtte være for det.

      Så jeg træder ud på taget og ser pludselig at der er længere ned end jeg havde regnet med. Jeg bliver lidt bange for bare at hoppe ud I det, så sætter mig ned I lotus stilling indtil jeg begynder at svæve ned. Jeg kan mærke på vej derned at der er lidt meget fart på, det er nok til at hjertet lige slår et ekstra slag uden jeg er bange for at slå mig. Dog fornemmer jeg at jeg har mistet overblikket så meget at den vej jeg gerne ville ned på med de mange dyr og mennesker ikke vil være der, fordi jeg har mistet mit fokus. Jeg tænker dog også at det ikke vil gøre noget.

      Da jeg endelig lander ser jeg at den vej jeg var på er væk. Den jeg står på er mindre befærdet og det er pludselig blevet nat, men det er faktisk stadig den samme strandpromenade. Jeg tænker at de nok skal gå og råber igen “Mave!” og spinner mellem 270 og 360 grader rundt om mig selv imod urets retning.

      Her ser jeg en stor hvid hingst komme løbende og mens jeg råber “Mave!” begynder den at ride hen imod mig. Jeg spørger den om den er min mave og I det jeg gør det bliver den til en hvid kamel, med tre pukler, hvor den forreste af de 3 er delt I 2, selvom det ser sundt og raskt ud, som om den egentlig blot bærer en genetisk mutation der giver den denne tredje to-delte pukkel.

      Den svarer at den er min mave og jeg knæler for den, hvilket den svarer med at lægge dens venstre hov på mit tredje øje. Derefter skifter den til at blive en venlig og varm 44-årig mand, med kort gråt hår. Jeg spørger “Hvad skal jeg gøre for at komme I bedre kontakt med dig” og han svarer “Din mormor kom til at trykke en lille knogle I stykker hernede (inde I højre hofteskål, hvor psoas løber) da du var 3 år gammel, det var ikke med vilje, men det kan man også se på billeder.” Der er en implicit besked der handler om at denne skade/traume ikke har været kendt og at noget kropsterapi kan have forværret det, men også at der ligger noget derfra der stadig rumsterer. Jeg svarer “Ah, jamen jeg har jo også fået scannet indersiden af mine hofter, så der vil man kunne se det?” han svarer “Jaaa, jooo.” med en tudelig intonering om at det ikke er helt rigtigt, men at det heller ikke er helt ved siden af.


      Drømmen Ender og jeg vågner med en meget rolig, afslappet og rar fornemmelse I kroppen. Det var tidligt, men jeg stod op og fik mediteret med min mave som fokus, fik lavet yoga, danset og TRE og fik mig noget morgenmad og følte mig godt tilpas.

      Non-lucid – NoteslucidInterpretationwake/dream visuals/visions
    2. 2018-12-08 Holotropic Breathwork - Lucifer, Heaven, Golden Child

      by , 12-11-2018 at 10:42 PM
      2018-12-08 The following is a description of a very powerful visionary experience during holotropic breath-work.

      One sentence title: Travelling as pure child of light from the centre of creation, the beginning of time, over North American bull riding shaman to see what we are saving, culminating in seeing myself as Lucifer, then taking his place so he can go to heaven, falling to earth discarding demonic baggage.

      The entry will be written in Danish as I intend to explore it further in therapy.

      Jeg starter med at lægge mig godt til rette, jeg ser frem til den her session og er ikke bange, men mærker at jeg næsten bliver høj, måske på grund af den lidt intense dans jeg har givet mig I kast med forinden.

      Det første der sker er visuelt. Jeg ser en række tørrede sår hen over min skallede isse, som jeg piller I en smule og som opstår simultant med en række bekymringer omkring Mai, hvilket efterfølges af en række tanker omkring den energi jeg bruger på at bekymre mig hende og hendes foretagener (jeg kan ikke huske om jeg her tænker på at flytte eller om jeg beslutter dette I løbet af den næste dags ceremoni hvor jeg ligger alene I køkkenet).

      Det næste element er at jeg oplever – uden at det bliver visuelt – at jeg ligesom bliver løftet op og at himlens porte bliver åbnet for mig, uden at der dog kommer noget ud eller jeg kommer ind el.

      Det næste er en længerevarende oplevelse af at se og mærke mig selv som et sammenfoldet barn lavet af lys, som rejser igennem et stjerneløst mørke, hvor lys og mørke er ligeligt fordelt og overlappende, som I både altopslugende og totalt gennemtrængende oven I, men også ved siden af hinanden.
      Denne rejse ændrer karakter en smule til at den starter fra galaksens centrum, som også er punktet for begyndelsen af tid og jeg ridder på den forreste bølge af stjerner mod Jorden. Her kommer jeg forbi et vista af en slette I nordamaerika og jeg får fornemmelsen af en bison okse, der muligvis riddes af en shaman. Der er en klar besked om at det er det her livet handler om og at det er det vi forsøger at redde. Samtidig oplever jeg en enorm fornemmelse af at jeg er kommet hertil langvejsfra for at rydde op I min families historik.

      Her begynder jeg at ryste ret så kraftigt, samtidig med at jeg skriger og græder et klage-skrig jeg ikke har hørt før. Jeg ser et billede af planeten samtidig og oplever at vi deler smerten og at oprydningen handler om det.

      Jeg bruger en del tid på at græde snot og skrige på den måde. I løbet af denne meget emotionelle og kropslige process mærker jeg virkelig også min krop ryste og blive varm.

      Da jeg på et tidspunkt sætter mig op, eller rettere forceret ved at en guide blidt har lagt en hånd på mit bryst der har skabt en voldsom reaktion, opdager jeg at lænet fårover har jeg enten fået mine vinger klippet af eller de bliver klippet af mens jeg sidder der. Herefter oplever jeg at jeg kan gro nye vinger, men disse enten af phønix eller fugle karakter og sprede dem ud over rummet.

      Det sidste, men måske mest intense scenarie er at jeg igen ser det gyldne barn siddende foran mig, men denne gang med sorte vinger. Jeg ved at det er mig selv jeg ser på, jeg ved det er djævlen. Jeg trækker mig en smule tilbage, men tænker jeg skal nok se på det så beder en bøn til Michael og Jesus om beskyttelse og lader visionen udfolde sig. Jeg bliver til Lucifer, men samtidig sker der det at jeg igen ser himlens porte åbne sig foran mig og jeg ser hvordan Lucifer bliver lukket ind, mens jeg falder bagover med sorte vinger på ryggen – jeg har taget hans plads. Da jeg rammer jorden er det som om vingerne eller noget dæmonisk fortsætter med at falde. Nu ser jeg mig igen som det gyldne barn og at jeg hvis jeg fokuserer 100% ind I kroppen ikke blot har hele jorden og kosmos som legeplads, men flere forskellige dimmensioner også.

      Her stopper vissionen.
    3. #203. Worthy

      by , 08-23-2015 at 06:36 PM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      We finish our coffee and the blonde conference-goer shakes my hand with a smile. I hand her my card and grin back.

      The waiter walks up as the woman leaves. He leans over the table to pick up empty plates, his long hair swinging a bit as he moves, and I lean back, holding my coffee.

      "These new age yoga nitwits are easy pickings," I tell him conversationally. "They'll buy anything if they think it will help them along a spiritual path."

      The two of us chat for a bit, and I give the waiter my card and head out.

      Perspective switch

      I'm the blonde "yoga nitwit" from before. I'm looking into a mirror, changing my hair and appearance to match my character. My husband comes into the hotel room and smiles at me.

      "You got him?"

      "He's hooked."

      Someone comes and knocks at the window of the fire escape, and my husband dives for cover so that we're not seen together.

      The manager of the hotel is explaining to us that they ran out of space, so there's going to be a whole bunch of kids sharing our suite.

      "That's unacceptable," I tell him or her. Their gender presentation keeps shifting.

      They shrug. "You still have the bedroom. It's just the living area and the bathroom that you have to share."

      I look at the line that's formed in front of the bathroom and narrow my eyes, but I can practically see the timer for our op ticking down before my eyes.

      "Get out," I tell them. "I'll deal with this later."

      We probably have to scrub the op.

      I'm on another part of the same floor when all hell breaks loose. I'm pinned by a couple of girls from high school and a man is dumping cages full of dangerous things on me, which I'm deflecting. I break loose, wearing the guise of a brown-haired Samael.

      "Get back, fiend!" says a booming voice, and Thor is swinging Mjolnir past my head. I dodge across the room, and the hammer comes flying at my stomach.

      Oof. Confirming that sacred objects can still knock the wind out of you. Good thing I'm invulnerable, or this probably would have torn straight through my chest cavity. I still go flying, knocking down a wall behind me. Splinters of wood go flying everywhere, and I pick up the hammer.

      Just as an enemy agent pops out with an AK-47. I'm swinging Mjolnir by its strap to ricochet the bullets back at my enemies, and then I'm letting the hammer fly—

      And I throw myself through the door into the hotel room.

      "Elhaz," I command, waving a hand at the wall and weaving protection into the doors and windows. Overwhelming force, meet immutable object. That should buy me a moment's peace.

      I wave my hand in a pattern, more jerky than it needs to be, and glance up from the floor at Sandman's Lucifer, who's standing on this side of the door and looking at me with a nonchalant expression.

      "You were supposed to be covering my back," I accuse.

      I bicker with my counterpart. The two of us are the same person in different universes, or maybe opposite sides of the same coin.


      ---

      I'm walking on the side of a highway in the mountains. A girl has stopped me to ask about backpacking, and I say that I'm just walking from inside the town to the campsite on the mountain.

      "Really? I've never been there," she says.

      "You should; it's the best climbing spot in the area."

      My name is Honor Harrington, and I'm biking down a path in a valley. In the centre of the valley is a school, and I hop off my bike to go investigate.

      I sneak in through an unalarmed pair of double doors, and look around the main floor.

      The intercom is blaring something. My communications device is picking up another frequency.

      Honor Harrington is there? says an alarmed voice. We can't let her get to the balcony!

      The balcony. Interesting. I'd better get up there, then.

      I still haven't been spotted; they just know I'm in the area. I pick the doors that I walk through and the shadows that I creep through carefully, and make it to the room by the balcony. There's a bench there, and I poke at it to find a secret compartment filled with papers; glossy, like a magazine. I feel a stab of betrayal; J at the church put them there.

      I need to unravel what's going on here. But first, I need to make my escape.

      ---

      I drive my car into the parking lot at the school and step out. It's a work night for a local club, where we all sit and chat and work on projects. I used to volunteer with them, but it's been a while since I've gone.

      I'm inside, working on my project, but my hackles rise as a woman walks behind me. Apparently while I've been gone, one of the only really bad bosses that I've had has risen through the ranks of the organization. I try to ignore her, but leave soon after.

      Updated 09-14-2015 at 01:53 AM by 31096

      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    4. Bounty hunting, Buddha, and Lucifer.

      by , 08-16-2013 at 08:31 PM
      Bounty hunters, or at least people who do odd jobs including bounty hunting. A member of my team, Regina, comes back to the motel we're staying at to tell us she's got a job at a local bar, which solves our immediate money problem. She's been trying to talk us out of hunting down that bounty we've been focused on. There's another woman who left the team over this bounty, she wouldn't talk about it but it seems like she had some personal connection that none of us had known about until she left.

      Scene changes, that woman's come back, taken care of whatever business she needed to take care of. She's a beautiful, melancholy woman, and as we drive out of the city she's reflecting on all her memories, 'some bad, some good, but all worth having': her and her orphaned brother, the threat of war, their childhood determination to end war; a white Cadillac with fins, and the driver, a man who'd just struck it rich, tossing money into the air.

      A few fragments: a thief who became a Buddha, and how that story's changed over time. Lucifer going through a Bible and scribbling out words here and there.
    5. [The Devil is in the Dance] (An LSD induced waking dream.)

      by , 04-08-2013 at 06:29 PM (Searching For The Center of Everything)
      4/3/13

      ================================================== ==============

      [Alright. I'll try to keep this to the point. Forgive my confusing scattered words. It's taken me my whole life to master this level of communication... and I'm still very far from being the Master.

      I'm assuming this topic is alright for DreamViews because it ties heavily into my dreams and general life.
      And I'm assuming people here will talk to me as if I'm not "psycho". And be quite loving and understanding.
      BLESS the ones who aren't offended at my words.

      If anyone has read Charles Fort's works, they'll understand what I mean when I say:

      In every truth lies the hint of what can be called fantasy, and
      in everyone's yarn there lurks something of what can be called the truth.

      Please keep this in mind. This is an experience that is a little "off".
      It's an experience- incompleted by the knowledge of what it was I experienced.
      I'm missing the right way to relate this to you.
      I know what I felt, and I know what I thought I understood about it.
      That is all. And nothing more. Like many humans, I am filled with pride and vanity.
      But I acknowledge that I TRULY know nothing.
      I am not claiming to know anything on these subjects.]

      All times are approximate.

      Please keep an open mind.

      This is my experience with Lucy.

      ================================================== =
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      [Background]

      My name is Austin.

      4 days ago, I experienced Lucy, aka "Acid" aka "LSD" with my "perfect-for-me" girlfriend.

      Her name is Alex.

      I love this tragic girl bottomlessly, so much it hurts. But this trip was different than with shrooms.
      This time, I caught a glimpse of one of those most peculiar facets of reality.
      I caught a glimpse beyond the veil. I felt something else's presence among the two of us.
      I think it was what the Alchemists and the Shamans and the Wizards and Philosophers
      and Dreamers and Scientists and more... would understand as "Lucifer".

      Not many people will understand what I'm about to say.
      That is because what I'm going to say CANNOT be put into these helpless words. Not in these hopeless worlds.
      Hopefully, someone on these forums who has experimented with altered consciousness-
      Will understand these metaphors and will relate. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.
      I will do my BEST to explain them to the others who don't get it yet.
      This is why people who are actually on to something- are soon discredited as incoherent or such.
      What we seek cannot be put into words. The words will escape you like sand through fingers.
      Reminiscent of deja vu. If someone demands you explain these secrets, it won't happen. It can't.
      Experience is the only way. First-hand.

      Now.

      I believe Lucifer can appear as and through different things to different people.
      But to me it was or was through the gentle and mysterious lover.
      The fiery serpentine chasing me up the spiral staircase.
      Lucy was the image in between the mirror. Behind the lights.
      She was there- but not in a physical sense. The lights would glow brightly when she was close.

      My experience with this "entity" was gentle. Loving. Harshly beautiful. With a tinge of dark.
      A hint of mystery. He/she told me things through my girlfriend. Beautiful things.
      The problem is- my girlfriend claims that I was lost in a trip the entire time.
      Conversations I thought I had between us, were just conversations with myself...
      Through my girlfriend. But I'll have to ask for more faith from YOU
      that I know that I was talking with "someone" whether it was my girlfriend
      or an "entity" of less-than-physical existence. It may very well all have been in my head.
      But I'm implying that perhaps that's how this thing works.
      It IS all in your head. But at the same time it's not JUST in your head.

      Oh man, it makes you double take on schizophrenia and general insanity in the world.
      What if one of these people screaming on the street are screaming the truth?

      Lately, I've been having these reoccurring thoughts in my head that I'm somehow Lucifer.
      I just notice all these similarities to me and the angel they call "Lucifer".
      My cardinal sin is Pride. I'm a dreamer, a musician, a lover, a woman and a man.
      I don't belong here and I feel out of place. I equate myself to a Lion.
      I seek knowledge. It reminds me of the story of the Apple of Eden.

      I have a STRONG intuition that I'll meet Lucifer on Lucy.
      __________________________________________________ ______________
      [Austin]

      I was one of those "weird kids" you find in school... That never did and never will fit in.
      The quiet, smart, awkward kid. The outlandish kind. But I've held on to my innocence.
      Longer than most could- I still have real good in my heart. I still have that light inside.
      I feel like I have a perfect blend of female and male inside. I feel almost superhuman inside.
      But broken at the same time. Like something is missing. My heart is full, but my roots are dry.
      But I have a love for horror. An amorous pulling to the mysterious. Everyone has these things.

      But I'm uncontrollably thirsty for knowledge. Wisdom. The way the Universe works, in all her wonder.
      I've procrastinated the ignition of my life. I've waited to begin my life-
      Just to bury myself in books. Drowned myself in watery facts and ideas.
      Pondered for hours on "reality" breaking ideas. Ideas that would make sheep panic.
      Ideas that only excite ME. "Maybe the world isn't as boring as I thought," I thought.

      My life works in symbols. Archetypes.
      The boundless ocean. The mother. The Lion. The female. Green. Autumn.
      The King. Duality. Trinity. Clocks, and Stuffed Bears. Dreams. It doesn't matter.
      But it does.

      I know about the connection between you and I. Through reading, experience with dreams,
      books of esotericism, books of all sorts!, and simple observation. It doesn't take a genius to see
      That there is someone pulling strings in reality. Watch those coincidences.
      Try to find connections. It used to be impossible- Then it became improbable.
      Now it's highly probable. I know most of you will take me as insane.
      There will be one who takes these words just right.

      Lately I've been noticing the insane improbable-almost-to-the-point-of-impossible amount of coincidences.
      The Universe was talking to me all the time. I just needed to tune in.
      __________________________________________________ _____________________________
      [Alex]

      She's the most interesting human I've met so far.

      She has reason behind everything she does!

      If she were an element, she'd be fire. She's a white Tiger she says.
      Her taste is deliciously refined. She knows what she likes.
      During Shrooms, I noticed something very peculiar.
      While everyone else in the room tripped blindly.
      She unscrewed light bulbs, turned things upside down.
      I saw it. It resonated with me.
      It was her act of defiance I think that caught my eye.
      Her rebellion against the collection of rules we call society.
      Mischievous girl. I understand she'll break my heart one day.
      ...
      She grew up so fast. She's had a miserable life so far.
      It beat the shit out of her. Her Mother is a monster. (Broke my damn side-view mirror that bitch.)
      She never had a father. (He left before Alex was born.)

      I've noticed that she does NOT attract happy karmic events.
      If there ever was an unlucky human, it was her.
      Her life hands her more shit than most humans would be able to handle.
      She is hardened to this cruel world. The pessimist out of us.
      But she knows things. She knows how it really is.
      I'm wary of her. But just as wary as someone can be
      of someone you love more than anything.

      Our relationship is confusing.
      At times we're like best friends.
      Sometimes we're enemies.
      Sometimes we're just animals using each other.
      But when it's all said and done...
      All I want to do is hold her hand and keep her safe through this lifetime.
      That is what I'm here to do.
      If there's anything that's real in this goddamned life, it's that I TRULY love that girl.
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________________
      [0:00]
      We walked into my bedroom and placed two blotters each (piece of paper with LSD dropped on) under our tongues.
      We sat around for a moment and began to feel excited and restless. Hence our decision to go to the local convenience store to grab a drink for the trip.
      We smoked a bowl and headed down the hallway to go outside.
      "Do you want to drive?" I dangle my Miku anime-keychain.
      "Mmm... Yes!" I barely offer it, but she barely ever accepts. I become aware of the symbolism in that.

      (throughout that day, I had seen the theme of "Lucifer"
      sowing itself in and out of the tapestry of reality. Through coincidence. Shit happens, you know, but you'll start to notice that a great deal of that "shit"'s probability doesn't match up with the general idea of probability that society has built. Too many coincidences to be without an explanation. Too much smoke to be without a fire. I'd see pictures on Tumblr of serpents and horns- I'd see references to the Bible and things like that- but there was just so much of it today, more so than usual.)



      Pulling up, I asked my girlfriend, "Do you know the story of The Garden of Eden?" ...
      "Yeah, I know about that story." She humors me.
      "Well... sh-should I trust him? I know I'll have to meet him eventually..."
      "I don't know..." She knows.
      "Huh." I drop it.

      I know she doesn't understand my curiosity. I accept it's just one of our differences.

      We grab our drinks- 2 thirst busters, and a pink powerade for me and a blood red powerade for her.

      When we get back to the house, giddy and excited, we metaphorically "stumble" through the door.
      I mean by that- that we were a little "off" by now. It had been 30min. We were walking perfectly fine.
      Talking a little strangely... but perfectly functional. Just a little "different" and "strange".

      __________________________________________________ ___________________________________
      [0:35]
      As we walked back in the room and shut the door, she unloaded a pocketful of things and change.
      I pointed it out to her that she was becoming a little more like me.
      "It's because I love you." It made sense. I picked up a lot of her traits at times too.

      We sat on my bed and loved on each other a little. Tickles, talking, touching, pictures, videos.
      It was about an hour through, that we started to feel a little more than just "stoned."
      The first stage was the breaking of the shell. The realization that there's more to "you" than just "you."
      I watched the clock and became the clock. My awareness controlled how I existed.
      Visuals were normal. If a little more relaxed. "Diffused" is a good word. "Unfocused".

      I stayed consciously aware of what I was feeling constantly. It was creeping up pretty slowly- but it wasn't anything like I had felt before.
      I could "feel" it coming on, as I could with other things. It felt like... a drop-off. A cliff.
      It felt like I was hanging off the side of a great cliff, dangling over the abyss from a rope.
      Alex told me several times throughout the trip that that's how I "felt", as if she could feel what I felt too.

      We immediately went to work with our music playlists that we had planned out. I'm usually the one who spends time thinking about the future (making playlists for acid trips is a good example of this), but Alex surprised me this time by being prepared. Notice this coincidence.

      She listened to her music first. Of Monsters and Men. The Head and the Heart. Modest Mouse. Bright Eyes.
      Amazing music. But it left me wanting something more familiar.

      On to my music. I felt around with my ears the following: Gorillaz, The Beatles, Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire, Radiohead, Panic! At The Disco...

      Oh, such beautiful things tucked away neatly in these songs. A word to the wise:
      Alot of these bands know what they're talking about. They know what I'M talking about.
      It's all in the music that we listen to- secrets. But remember that words can't describe what I've seen.
      But music is a better language for something like this.

      Take note that "Lucifer" is constantly associated with things such as "light, music, beauty, etc".

      Well back to the trip. By this point, another hour has passed. I had been on the brink of tears countless times now from what I'd seen
      and momentarily forgotten.
      (Amnesia sucks. I have reason to believe my human is plagued with holey memory. I hope to one day find out why. Probably heavy fluoride in the pineal gland.)

      __________________________________________________ __________________________________
      [1:15]
      Now, me and Alex just wanted to talk again.

      She told me about what laughter was for.
      She told me that:
      "Love is strange- If you get too filled up with that wonderfulness [love], it'll make you sad. You need to let it out every once in awhile.
      It's meant to be shared."

      My god! Right in front of our eyes. Laughter was the human mechanism for sharing love with the world. The letting out of steam.
      It was biological as much as it was just... oddly metaphysically organic. I mean by that... ... no. I'll have to leave that one for you. It's a mechanism of my higher-self as much as it is my human.

      "If you start to feel sad... it's because you need to let it out. Share it." If there's one thing I held on to throughout my trip, it was this.

      Countless times I felt that well of sadness rising up. I pushed it down by laughing at how wonderful everything was. I just looked around.
      I laughed at how crazy I was for thinking I was talking to the devil. I laughed at how impossibly-obviously it presented itself to me.
      I laughed at how all of my favorite bands had all of the answers to my questions- but in code.
      I laughed at how awkward my soul piloted my human. I would lean into kiss my lover, and land somewhere else and just laugh.
      I laughed at how perfect she was. How she always found the perfect thing to say to me. It was like a storybook. Like a dream.
      Like I had always wished and wished for. She completed me, like a puzzle piece. How curious.



      My soul wasn't very good at integrating me into society, in general, I observed.
      I just have never understood the importance of fitting in. Never in my life.
      If I had a finger to point... it would be at my soul.
      From what I understand...
      He should be the one who deals with matters spanning over the 4th dimension... over and outside of time.

      But...
      I am him. I just sometimes forget.

      __________________________________________________ __________________________
      [1:45]
      Alex.

      She was different now. She was still her. But now with a mischievous grin. Cheshire was smiling through my love's face.
      She walked like a Goddess, like a perfect little hipster indie kid. (I think that's what I would incarnate as if I were Lucy.) [I'll call her Lucy.]
      She pointed to my antique clock and told me the face was the surface of a pond. She was pointing at my symbols. She knew what it meant to me. She knew I had always equated myself with the element water. She knew my personality was watery in itself.
      "It's like a dirty pond with scattered numbers."
      She knew about my shaky relationship with time.
      The pond represented me.

      She got up and stretched. "Man, all this damn water." ...again, referring to ME.
      As if she had finally seen the real me.
      She said it as if just arriving there to that moment in time, before flashing me a grin.
      Again, I got the impression of being in the presence of a Goddess- in the flesh. She knew I knew.

      She analyzed my life so far and hit every nail on the head. With such grace and the perfect hint of mystery to keep me there. She talked about my innocence and my attachment to my inner child.
      I have a stuffed animal, a tattered old bear- she told me that my child was beaten up.
      My innocence was hurt.

      I think I feel the need to use the word "her" because I was still clinging on to egos. I was afraid to be one with this. All the warnings.
      All the damn warnings from humanity. Avoid the one they call the devil. I struggled within myself against it.

      "It's like a bunch dolls in a dollhouse." She referred to the bodies we inhabited.

      At this point- my mind was so far in the "strange". My nerves and senses were totally "not-normal".
      I didn't think of it as, "Sight" or "Hearing" or "Feeling"... it was more of a five-pronged color wheel of general sensation manifesting itself as a big picture. I mean... My senses began to blur into one sense.

      And the trails. Oh my... There was a mesmerizing soft blur behind any sort of movement.

      I also began to notice catching weird alien thoughts in my own head. I felt like I was tuning in on Alex's thoughts.
      I STILL can't figure out who it really was that first wanted that cigarette. Also...
      I would look at Alex with a question and she would verbally respond.
      Me and Alex began to slowly realize something. Not that we were melding consciousness. But that we already were one consciousness.
      I was getting my first understanding of what "Duality" and "Unity" truly meant.

      I spoke incoherently, akin to Jack Sparrow. I was trying to grasp an idea.
      It was being relayed to me from outside of my head, that's for sure.

      But here's a metaphor to help you understand what I mean.
      Sometimes, if you stare directly at something...
      It vanishes.
      But if you learn to look with the corner of your eye.
      You might get a better glimpse.

      If I thought too hard at an idea, it would run away.
      Same with Lucy/Lucifer. If we chased after her, she would vanish.
      She would stop amusing us. She had a tendency to sneak in and out of our trip.

      And then something happened... she tried to get me to kiss her. She had that devilish look in her eye.
      I... recoiled. I subconsciously knew that what I was dealing with was indeed very heavy. It meant something.
      And I needed to be perfectly conscious so I could make a decision. These cautious thoughts were definitely mine.

      I know what LSD can do to you. You have to keep your mind clear and empty or else you'll convince yourself of something.
      I decided that this vision or feeling of dancing with the devil was TOO persistent to be a simple delusion.
      I might be an odd human, but I know that these was DEFINITELY something more to this than delusion.
      Truly, there's some truth in my yarn. But I kept a clear head so that I would feel the feelings as they came.

      I was forced to make a decision of a life time. If I went through with this, I had a feeling my life would never be the same. But my life was always so boring... I kind of ached for it, you know?

      Vampire Weekend summed it up perfectly:

      "It’s not right but it’s now or never
      And if I wait could I ever forgive myself? "


      I finally kissed her back, pushing through my hesitation. It WAS just my girlfriend.
      I kiss her all the time. But this time it was mixed-up, fearful, and hesitant.
      We lost ourselves in our slow kisses for awhile. And suddenly...
      for JUST a moment, I woke up from the Matrix that we live in.
      I realized in that moment that I was NOT my body... or even my mind, for that matter.
      Whatever I really was, it was "green" and "bright" and "vibrant" and "full of love".
      She was more "grey" and "scarred" and "hopeless" but "wise" and "full of texture"
      The best way I can describe what it felt like... I was an amorphous living "thing".
      A giant changing organism of "light". I felt MYSELF (I'll capitalize when I refer to our higher self.)
      brushing up against my lover... in an alien landscape, in alien bodies. It was more beautiful than anything you've ever experienced.
      It was scarring to someone who wants to remain ignorant. I now knew.

      She knew I had finally seen the true HER. SHE was disfigured and bruised from the horrors and disappointments of her lives.
      I held her body close and radiated an infinite love that she had never felt before. She knew I knew. She knew I loved her regardless.
      I didn't get to see any specifics, but I know that we've known each other intimately besides this life. Same with all the people in my life.

      We cuddled for a little and loved each other. I accepted every little part of her, and she accepted every little part of me.

      __________________________________________________ ____________________________________
      [2:00]
      We laid in my bed and stared around my room. It was as if I was my soul, checking up on my human. My room was a wreck.
      Disorganized and messy. I scolded myself. My eyes caught all these symbols that I would have never caught.
      I looked at my long hair and saw my female trying to claw her way out. She was desperate to be seen and pet.
      It was tragic. I felt a little drunk- by that I mean that drunken feeling of trying to walk. A great happy cheerfulness filled me
      despite my slight lack of coordination.

      I had to go to the bathroom though... I was afraid to be away from Alex, so I hesitated...
      "I REAAAALLY need to goooo."
      "Okay, I'm going now."
      "Alright baby, here I go."
      "I NEED TO PEEEE."

      (I said all of those... probably 20 seconds apart. Stalling.)

      I worked up the courage to break away. I drifted like a ghost down the hall.
      Once in the bathroom, I got on my knees and peed close to the toilet (a strange habit I'd picked up years ago).
      I got up, and checked myself out in the mirror. My pupils were huge. I could see my soul showing through my eyes.
      It was beautiful. I always thought that was beautiful. Enlarged pupils are subconsciously attractive to me.
      Then I returned to Alex. We were both thinking about the same thing now. Ourselves.

      We both stared at our vessels with self-love. She began to talk again,
      "You know... I never really got why people are so against this." I knew she was referring to our self-love.
      "If you have what you have, what's the point in Not loving it?" -She continued while eyeing herself with love and a hint of lust.
      I did the same.

      Sometime throughout the trip, I stripped naked and watched my body closely.
      It was so... gorgeous. My male and female energies were so balanced.
      I marveled at my body's hips and legs, and my shoulders and eyes.


      (I'd always had a deeply ingrained disgust with egoists.
      Egotistical people had always disgusted me. They were never going to grow, because they were so weighed down by their own empty weight. My religious Dad pointed out that I had pride in my eyes, countless times through my childhood. He made sure I knew it was wrong.)

      (But... I couldn't find an argument to this one. I had always thought myself and Alex to be extremely attractive.
      In a different kind of way than what society could see. I would walk by a group of girls, flicking on a switch inside.
      I would think confident feelings, I would KNOW that I was sexy... and the girls would always look my direction and blush.
      I had that power. Everyone does. And if it's already there... It's just a matter of turning it on.)


      __________________________________________________ __________________________________
      [2:30]
      Alex had to go pee next. It had been 2 1/2 hours now. She left to go to the bathroom...
      But I found myself following close behind, as if I were going to the bathroom as well.
      As if we were going to share that experience. I paused and realized that I couldn't follow her in there.
      She chuckled at me and left.

      I realized I still needed to pee! I normally was very "good" at holding my bladder.
      But this time felt different. Seconds had passed since Alex left the room.
      "I don't think I can wait." I said to myself, alone in my room.
      I panicked when I thought that perhaps Lucy had something to do with my bladder un-control.

      Then I realized it. I wasn't feeling MY need to pee. I was feeling Alex's need to pee.
      I had already pissed. Now it was her turn.
      Only catch.
      I was going to experience her turn.

      When it finally dawned on me what was going on...
      I began to squirm and struggle to hold in my bladder-
      While I was experienced pee-ing.
      I could feel it so clearly. It felt good~
      But I was unable to enjoy the relieving feeling due to my panic.
      It reminds me slightly of orgasm, but just a hint.
      I'm proud to say, that I LSD didn't make me piss

      I continued to squirm, until she was done.
      Then I walked out of my room and met her at the door to explain.
      She grinned at me.

      __________________________________________________ _________________________________
      [3:30]
      At about 3 1/2 hours.
      We fell into the bed again, and fell entranced by my ceiling light.
      It broke my popcorn ceiling into a crystal kaleidoscope.
      It began to glow intensely. We lied there in that room staring at that light forever.
      It was so fucking beautiful. I could tell that there was something "more" to the light.
      There was something "behind" the light. "Inside" it. "Outside" of it...
      Wait no... There's no word for it. "Within" would be the best fit.

      Lucy was close-by. The light vibrated. The ceiling crawled.
      The room came to life. We were coming to a peak of the trip.
      Alex snapped me out of it.
      "Don't let it take you away."
      What a strange thing to say, I thought.
      I'm sure she knew what I felt.
      But I looked away and broke the spell.

      Our gazes returned shortly after.
      She gasped- "I can see your heartbeat in the ceiling."
      Both of our jaws dropped. It was true. The light was pulsating to my heart.
      We were pushed back against the wall and the bed... HARD.
      But it was because of how incredibly beautiful and powerful it was.
      The entity.
      ... ...
      She joked for the third time, "If this is the peak, I'd still be disappointed."
      I laughed at that challenge to Lucy.

      We sat up from our bed, feeling like we had lived an eternity in moments.

      The green curtains had crawling vines. If you relaxed your eyes on them, they would move like crazy.
      I could also see aura around Alex. Her's was red.
      She told me mine was a bright green.

      By now, we had abandoned words for the most part. We both realized how much easier it was
      to communicate in "soul-speak", in thought, and in feeling.

      __________________________________________________ __________________________
      [4:30]
      We walked outside. Oh. My. God.

      "There's a world out here..." We both gasped. We were coming down fast.

      But that one moment when I first experienced nature... our SUN, the neighborhood.
      I will never forget it. It made me gasp in my female's voice. It was THAT powerful.
      I was powerfully aware of our position in the solar system. That big glowing thing in the sky...
      It's in a very basic sense: "Alive".

      Fire is... "Alive." Plants and animals... they're "alive and conscious".

      My only metaphor for this... would be...
      There's these Mexican candies... I forget their name...
      But it's a plastic container, with this spicy/sour chile mango
      Squishy candy inside.
      You squeeze it out through the top and it comes out in strands.
      Like squishy red grass.
      The inside of the container is primal life. Life in it's most basic form. Before it's manifested in this world.
      When it's squeezed out, it seperates into egos and distinctions. Each little blade is a different manifestation of the same thing.


      (Matter is alive too, just vibrating at a different level. But I digress- back to the trip.)

      My lover and I sat beautifully in our bodies. I followed her to a spot in the shade, out of the morning sun where we found our perch. Watching the school children and other humans waking up, and going to school and work.
      We sat there and watched, understanding that they may never know the things we know.
      They may go their whole lives and never see the truth.
      I began to grow nervous that people were walking about as, well, we were tripping balls in my front driveway.

      I shook it off, "Ah fuck it. A school bus of children could pass by for all I care."
      A school bus passed 6 seconds later. Me and Alex eyed each other and knew that Lucy was still with us.

      We had a conversation between a human God and Goddess in my front yard about the tops of trees.
      She pointed to the top of the pine tree before us.
      "You know, the tops of trees are my favorite parts of trees." She spoke softly.
      I thought to myself of whether there was symbolism in what she said.
      She paused before saying, "It matters."

      She reminded me of plants. I had always wanted to communicate with one. I cupped in my hands a yellow flowered weed next to me, and I closed my eyes. I felt something. But not very strongly. I felt impatient.

      "You want to go inside, don't you?" I had a feeling.
      "Yeah..."
      "Well... can we wait out here for just a second?"
      "Yeah, as long as you want."
      But I couldn't fully enjoy it, now that I knew she wanted to go inside.
      I asked one more question... It was aimed at Lucy AND Alex.
      "You aren't going leave me... are you?" The insecure little girl I had once been was asking.
      I began to tear up and almost cry at the thought of being disconnected from this in the future.
      I don't remember her answer. But it was good. I remembered to laugh, so I wouldn't be sad.
      So we got up and walked inside.

      __________________________________________________ _____________________________________
      [6:00]
      It was approximately 6 hours into our trip, more or less.
      Lucy was still here, but in a less HERE way.

      (INTERJECTION: The overwhelming clarity of LSD is so strange to experience, in stark contrast to the drug propaganda out there. Do not listen to your government on matters like this. You have to trust your heart on this to know if you're ready for something like this. I was ready. I've been waiting for this day my entire life.)

      Now I wasn't talking directly to Lucy. I was talking to just my Alex.
      She noted that I had been talking "past her" for the past few hours.
      That I had, in reality, been lost in a sort of trip. But I know what I experienced.
      I have faith in it. And I will not let the world shake it out of me like they do to the rest of us.

      Back to the experience. I confronted another demon of mine.
      My occasional lack of passion. My lack of red and orange and yellow.
      My lack of masculine energies.

      Alex was calling me to her. She stretched her beautiful body in my bed, like a cat.
      I knew her body wanted mine. I knew her animal ached for mine.
      But I am not the normal male. Not the normal man.
      I didn't feel like a wolf ready to take control.
      I was unsure and awkward. I felt wrong every time I tried to force a passionate kiss.
      I couldn't fake passion. So I sat there awkward.

      I don't know how many Panic! At The Disco songs I heard before it happened.
      (Panic! was playing on shuffle the first time we made love.)

      She took control. She pushed me against the bed. She has what I don't have.
      I tried to fight back... but she was too strong for me.
      I quivered and moaned like the female I felt.
      She touched my body and made me feel powerless.
      I began to tear up in fear and quiet submission.
      Oh, it was then I felt real passion.
      This is one reason why we're like puzzle pieces. We match.


      Sometimes I curse myself for being born in a male body, when I'm so obviously not.
      But I understand that things happen for reasons. Perhaps I chose this existence to make amends
      with my masculinity.


      I'll skip out some pretty details.
      But there was passionate kisses.
      "I can see why humans do that." She smirked along with me.
      It was a physical means to elicit a reaction in our souls. It was a way to communicate.
      We were trading delicate feelings through lips.
      Two aliens; two children of the stars-
      experiencing what it was like to love as humans.
      Oh the impossibly mad love.

      Once I felt that passion in my bones...
      The man in me awoke. The wolf.
      I grabbed her and forced her down like I wished she would to me all those times.

      [email protected]#$%^&

      I came earlier than I wanted to and I sat in shame for a minute.
      Alex knew what my look meant, and she told me that she had felt amazing regardless.
      "So why worry?"

      __________________________________________________ _________________
      [7:00]


      Alex eventually fell asleep.
      We cuddled together and held each other close until then.

      Then I was alone.
      I moved to my computer.
      I was compelled to listen to "Colorblind" by Counting Crows.
      It was an anthem of my human and soul, specific to me.
      It touched my hurt that I had accumulated as this specific human.
      My awkward un-belonging. My prison of skin. My lack of color.
      (Books, the only thing I had found solace in before... can only show you black and white.)

      I cried my eyes out. I couldn't fight the sadness back.
      It all poured out. I was terrified of how deep the feeling was.
      I went to Alex and was about to shake her, when
      "I'm fine." was sung.

      I knew this was a sign from the Universe to let her sleep.
      I was fine.

      (The Universe or Lucy or whatever it was... sometimes sends me winks.
      "Coffee black and eggwhite." is a line in that song."
      My best friend's Dad just poured me black coffee and handed me an egg sandwich while I've been up all night typing this.)

      It's truly a humbling thing to know that your entire life is a part to a play.
      It's just a dance. It's put together very delicately, with lots of love and care.
      But sometimes if you REALLY look closely, it's like a movie.
      We all have a part to play. Dolls in a dollhouse.

      __________________________________________________ _______________________________
      [End?]

      So that's my story so far. At the same time, it's all of our stories. We've all met Lucifer in one way or another. It lives inside of all us, whether we like it or not. It's all a matter of becoming aware of it.

      I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. Just sending a message out in a bottle.
      For most of you, you most likely will categorize me as delusional. That is fine.
      This is just an oddly fascinating and fantastic story to you. But I have faith in the dreamers.
      I know who I'm talking to. They know who they are. The right people will answer me.

      It's all just simple math. What I'm talking about sounds magical... but it is very real.
      Perhaps, one day it will be considered common knowledge. Accepted science.
      But until then- we need explorers who are willing to chart this new frontier.

      __________________________________________________ _______________
      [Some of the other things Lucy told me through Alex...]

      "You don't belong here. You feel it too, don't you?" I had always felt that.

      "You're a very very VERRRY special, human, Austin. I don't think you realize how special you are." I knew this was truth, but it felt like a dirty truth. It felt wrong to say and obsess with. I know I'm meant for something big. But it's not all about me.

      "You're INCREDIBLY beautiful." She stared at me sometimes... just as I had stared at the beautiful light.

      "You've been waiting here, an anomaly in this world. Waiting for something alien to return you to your home."

      [I also "realized" a few things by myself.]

      I saw that most the people I called friends, were actually entities I knew outside of this human life.
      A few of them I was "tied up to" or "chained to" with karmic debt.
      My best friend is VERY pushy, and if I don't listen to what he says, I feel a backlash of negative energy.
      I'm starting to realize that I actually am VERY far in debt to ALOT of people.

      I also found that I was meant to go to a certain concert in California called Coachella in the middle of April.

      I realized on my own that I'm destined to be a famous musician. That sounds horribly egotistical.
      But you'll understand if you're ever in shoes like mine.


      And lastly... I started the apocalypse. Maybe it was me individually, or me in the general sense of humans.
      But when I came out of my trip, instantly I saw new signs of chaos.

      This whole Korea business became frontline news. I've seen and heard ambulances every day here since.
      People have been talking about the upcoming war in America. People have started making plans.
      I think I might move to Seattle eventually. I have a feeling it might be safe for me.
      Since me and Alex are both extremely drawn to this city.


      __________________________________________________ ______________________________________
      Please... if you're curious or have questions, please ask.
      If you have something to add to my experience, I would certainly appreciate it!

      It's a wonderful world out there, dreamers. Get out there and feel it for yourself!
      For all you wisdom-seekers, may you find what you're looking for.

      Updated 04-08-2013 at 06:57 PM by 57330 (grammar)

      Categories
      lucid , memorable , side notes
    6. Oct 9, 2012 - Lillith

      by , 10-17-2012 at 05:16 AM (The Dream Magic Experiment)
      NOTES: 100 countdown

      I was with other people. I heard the term "predator" and "Lilith." Next episode? Talking about Lucifer or some demon of sorts. A fallen. A house on top of a hill. Summoning. There were white-flowered plants planted on another plant on the group. The flowers transformed into scary, dark colors and sharp leaves. A butterfly that's allergic to plants.
    7. log6-10

      by , 09-16-2012 at 08:15 AM
      Log 6

      A Vision upon waking: a smoking worm of perception???


      I am in a laboratory of evil dream scientists. DR strange is inside my head. "They Are Trying To Kill Scrooge McDuck!" I flee quickly, with an invisibilityspell, finding myself in a slum.

      Two female succubi blond and brunette. They try to steal my sexual energy. I summon a baseball bat and ram it into the brunettes ass like a barbarian. I do this to teach the blonde one compassion.
      *Scratch, shiva scratch!*
      Visions of dr strange. He meditates, and then we are in space. I see myself as astring of spacesuits, sorta like analbeads.

      7

      In the tower of illumination. It is dark upstairs and a loathsome alien lives there. A hippie commune near the tower, there is a garage and a lake nearby. We goe for a swim with the hippies. My naturist thinks it is ridick ilous to wear swimpants if you are a hippie.

      *Scratch Shiva scratch!*

      Army forces attack the commune....to be continued...

      8
      VIERAILEVA HYPNOTISTI

      In my house of birth, me and my ex GF having kinky sex. Afterwards i go to an old saunabuilding witch is now in public use during the festivals of the Students Infinite=you. Every student notices my shitty pants. GOL. then every kid asks me about the shitpands.LOL.Som wisekid says perversions are A O K.

      *ScratchSS!*
      I Meet a visiting mentalist and ask him to read my mind. He sees all my sick false memory implants and avises me to think the rape scenarios happened to a 17 year old Cosovan. Or former life.


      9
      I dream of sleeping in hibernation in a flat somewhere between dreams and waking. Music..speaches. Waking up i seek the source of sound to the neighboring flat 2 men 1 female or vice versa...*False awakening* Mirrors...ugly toot leaves my mouth and a hot hard tooth comes underneath My hand is invisible and i get up. (am ai ded?)

      My fire body condenses and i feel it. aaawaakiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn.... Tis teh fnord, voices tell bees.


      Karmic scnaps.
      10
      I am a courier. a man on a mission. with my faithful companion going to russia to accomplish some mission with im, J. In my city I first go grab a bite from truck stop with V.S.But... le fu...the fries of obedience are over. VS. stops icescreamning and we be ballin to a nextstop.

      *Scratxch*
      FInally! in rssuia. Meet my first love. Shes tho one the package was meant to go. Near a russian factory. I hold a kettle.in it theres a hoop. girls need it 4 deir games. I wanna join but mans gotta do whatta mans gottado...to be continued...
    8. Sympathy for the Devil

      by , 07-15-2012 at 10:07 PM (Inside the Mind of Mattlantis)
      I have been watching a lot of Supernatural lately, which is an obvious contributer to this dream. I am writing this late in the day, so the dream is fuzzy at best.

      The first thing I remember is being in a flat, grassy area near the ocean, with a shipyard made of those vertical logs sharpened on the end. I am a female version of myself named "Maddie." Some type of battle happened between Lucifer and some angels, where my contribution was . More stuff I don't remember happened, then Lucifer had a human body, and I was on a rather small wooden ship with him, just chatting away at night. Then some angels attacked, and I tried to convince them it was all a misunderstanding of some type, but then Lucifer grabbed me and took me to safety. We were now in some weird vertical tunnel (a hole for you unimaginative types), with a bunch of platforms, plants, and random video game-esque creatures. We talked some more, and I also talked to some "demons" (the quotes are there because in this dream, they are basically misunderstood scapegoats).
      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. Mzzkc's Mind Games

      by , 02-24-2011 at 06:50 AM (Mzzkc's Mind Games)
      ¡Single Sentence Sizzler!®

      23.2.2011
      Hellspawn (Non-Lucid)
      ★★★☆☆
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

      Quote Originally Posted by Mzzkc View Post
      With the gifts granted unto me, I set wildlife ablaze and rent a man's heart from his chest, changing him for the better.

      Updated 02-24-2011 at 07:04 AM by 25167

      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. #188. Sarcophagidae

      by , 02-24-2011 at 05:34 AM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      02/22/11

      Three people sit around a table. Two of them are dead.

      The bodies are slumped at awkward angles, twitching. Under their skin, tiny creatures mass and swarm and crawl, and at any moment, the meat-sacks will burst at the seams and the kitchen floor will be flooded with blood and tissues and squirming maggots.

      A little girl sits in the third place-setting, quietly finishing her homework.

      They play hopscotch on the sidewalk, and they make fun of her. They don't know what she could do to them, what she's about to do. Calling through cracks in the sidewalk, calling up all the little things that crawl.

      She doesn't realize that she's raised a hand, fingers stretched out, until another hand is closing over hers and forcing her arm down. She turns and meets the cool stare and raised eyebrows, and knows that the black-clothed child is other, like her.

      This "Samael" has a job offer for her, and so she follows.

      Sarcophagidae. Scare Factor: 3.

      Updated 04-25-2011 at 01:40 AM by 31096

      Categories
      non-lucid
    11. #170. Ouroboros

      by , 12-08-2010 at 08:06 AM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      ★★★★☆

      I've been working a lot. A lot.

      12/06/10

      I'm standing in my childhood bedroom, surrounded by white walls and pastel shades. None of my rooms have looked like this in years, but that's not something I notice. It seems like I'm awake - already, the fragments of previous dreams are falling away.

      I hear a low hiss in the background of my mind, and I smile.

      I thought I'd lost you, I admit. I tilt my head, listening to a voice only I can hear, and make a face. "Yeah, I'm not having that argument with you."

      A flash of a symbol, the ouroboros, a snake in a circle, eating its own tail. I see green and black stripes, and the dream fades into another one.

      "The walls between realities grow thinner by the day," she says, "And people continue to mine them for profit!"

      I'm half-listening to the merchant at this point, waiting for her to hand me the items I'm buying from her brightly-coloured wooden stall. I need the monkshood for an attempt on the Guardian up in the mountains.

      "One of these days," mutters the woman, "Demons will tear through from the world beyond, and our world will be without hope!"

      Snake chuckles darkly, in the quiet of my mind. Too late for that.

      I nod absently at the woman. I know how to close the gaps between worlds, but of course, I'm one of the demons that these people fear. "Do you know where I can find any explosives?"

      Ouroboros. Scare Factor: 2.

      Updated 01-17-2011 at 03:22 AM by 31096

      Categories
      non-lucid , false awakening
    12. #165. The Long Haul

      by , 10-31-2010 at 09:58 PM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      ★★★☆☆

      I finally got to move away from Saskatchewan, so I'm happy about that. Haven't really been concentrating on my dreams, though.

      Also, Halloween is the best holiday ever.

      10/31/10



      An angel and I talk economics.

      "You gambled my soul away in a poker game?" Bobby growls, his voice growing louder with every syllable.

      Balthazar raises his hands in a peaceful gesture, as best he can while I have him held up by the collar of his two piece suit.

      break

      "Look at that man over there," says Balthazar, pointing across the street. "What do you think would happen if you said to him, 'Give me your soul, and you can have anything you want in the world'?"

      The sun is shining down on us; the crisp autumn breeze brushes leaves through the gutters. The man pulls his overcoat more closely around himself, hurrying his steps towards the church on Eleventh.

      "He'll say no." I say in a low voice, my arms crossed over my chest.

      "He'll tell you to fuck off, is what he'll do. Pop culture's done more to harm the trade than religion ever did. He probably doesn't believe he has a soul, and he still won't sign it over." Balthazar takes a breath, grins. "Look, the trick is to ask for something smaller."

      The man is out of sight, now.

      The trick, apparently, is to plan for the long term. Get someone to agree to a small price, a small favour in exchange for their needful thing. These agreements, they're bound to the bloodline. If the man doesn't pay back the favour, rest assured that his children will.

      Chances are, we'll get our soul eventually.

      break

      When Dean comes to, he's leaning against a concrete wall in an underground parking garage. He doesn't know exactly where he is or what he's doing there, but he knows it can't be good.

      Dean stumbles up the exit ramp, blinks a bit against the cool night air.

      Click. Look up.

      Sam's at the top of the ramp, pointing a gun directly at his brother.

      "Sammael," says Sam Winchester, his voice cold.

      Dean fades to black, and I smile up at Sam.

      break

      In which I try to solve a puzzle involving time travel.

      Standing at the ticket counter, drumming my fingers impatiently against the arborite. The ticket-seller has my passport in her hand. She glances at the name, up at my face, at a poster I can't see behind the glass, and her face goes white. She hands me back the passport, slides two tickets under the glass, and tries not to meet my eyes. I smile and thank her, and I take my thinks and walk into the parking lot.

      I open the driver's seat door to an Oldsmobile, my parents' car when I was younger, and start the engine. Zoe is sitting in the passenger seat.

      "They're already onto us." I tell her. "Buses aren't running, cops'll be all over the place within an hour. We have to drive."

      break

      And now it's real life, and I tell Zoe I'm leaving Calgary. It's two years into the future, and I've been in one place too long.

      break

      "Where are we?" I demand. My voice is quiet, but the threat is there.

      Daniel smiles, suddenly nervous. "This is one of the last human settlements on Earth."

      "I'm waiting."

      "From your point of view," he says slowly, "I suppose this is the future."

      Zoe stands quietly behind me.

      break

      I step through the sliding metal doors, out into an oasis of footpaths and greenery, quiet places for meditation and training. Above us is a dome, given away by the subtle waves in its surface, the way it refracts the light from the bright skies above. Beyond the dome is the endless desert that the earth has become.

      break

      "When you say this is the future," I ask Daniel, "Exactly how far do you mean?"

      He hesitates. "Well, it's been at least... it's been tens of billions of years."

      He's expecting me to freak out, but I simply nod, having had my suspicions confirmed. "And physiologically, humans have remained the same for the last... tens of billions of years?"

      Daniel frowns, and looks at me, searching. "Physiologically? You mean evolution."

      "And there have been no significant changes." I state, daring him to contradict me. "You know what this means?"

      "Someone's been breeding us."

      Scare Factor: 2/10
    13. #157. Keys to the Kingdom

      by , 09-28-2010 at 04:00 AM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      ★★★★☆

      ...or "Taking Over a Country in Five Easy Steps".

      09/27/10



      "Your son, your majesty, is a psychotic despot who's been running your country into the ground."

      "And you have a solution?"

      "Your youngest child went missing several years ago. You should inform your court that I have returned."


      Johanna swings the sword furiously at her attacker. Her blonde hair, braided into a plait, sweeps through the air as she ducks his return attack. She's on the defensive, frantically blocking his sword, barely avoiding being cut. The man's face is expressionless as he forces her into a corner.

      A slow clapping starts up from across the room. The attacker stills, and Johanna steps away, keeping her sword ready.

      "Bravo," says the man on the other side of the room. "You've done extraordinarily well, getting this far."

      "I'll kill you," she hisses back, not taking her eyes from the bodyguard, "For destroying my family."

      "With that sword?" asks the prince, "I think not."

      "I've fought my way through your legions," she pronounces, "Decimated them."

      "Yes," says the prince, "But then, you had someone to protect, which is the purpose of your enchanted sword. Tell me, where is your brother?"

      "He's dead," says Johanna, "Murdered by your men!" On the last word, a knife materializes in her other hand. She rushes the bodyguard, swipes down, slicing at his face.

      Blood splatters against the wall, and Johanna clutches at her throat in surprise. She falls to the ground, aware that she's bleeding out. From the corner of her eye, she can see another man emerge from the shadows. Stupid, she thinks, should have realized he would have backup...

      She's standing on a stone bridge, which spans the entirety of a mountainous valley. At the end of the bridge is a city. Blue spires reach up into the sky, and Johanna is dimly aware that she's looking at the Capitol City. This was her home, before everything. It's still peaceful. The sky is blue, and sunlight shines down, lighting up the valley and the mist with an ethereal glow. The valley is lush, full of greens and grains and enough food keep most of the kingdom from growing hungry. It's almost unbelievable, that such an awe-inspiring sight could hide such a great evil.

      "I brought you back." I tell her.

      Johanna turns to look at me. "Why?" Her face is blank, but I can hear the anguish in her voice.

      "I don't think you understand," I say slowly, "I brought you back. Nothing you've endured has happened yet. Your family is still alive."

      She's quiet for a moment, looking out over the blue lustre of the city in the distance. "What's the catch?"

      I have to smile at that. "You can prevent all of this from happening," I say, "If you do exactly as I say."

      plots to pacify the population with the latest crop of sweet potato, wading through water fields under the bridge

      I'm standing in a stone building (opulence, splendor) at the centre of the city. I know the precise moment that it happens, because it feels like a string is being cut. And just like that, destiny has been rewritten. The prince is dead, long live the prince.

      A cell phone chimes in my pocket. I answer on the third ring.

      "Hello, 'Father'," I say, irony in my tone. "So, when is my coronation?"

      Scare Factor: 3/10

      Wait, wait. Your crown prince is an evil sociopath, so you want my dream self to rule instead? Good luck with that.

      1. Establish yourself as an heir to the throne.
      2. Find someone who wants the prince dead.
      3. Bring them back in time.
      4. Assassinate the prince.
      5. How old was the king, again?
    14. #156. The Demon Boy

      by , 09-27-2010 at 05:33 AM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      ★★★☆☆

      LUCID

      If my hair keeps changing colour in the pictures, it's because that's what it tends to do IRL.

      09/26/10

      Fragment about going to my (late) grandma's church for a Halloween party. There were some really cool decorations. A distinct lack of alcohol, however.

      I'm in the front entrance to our house. Everything seems normal, and I do a routine reality check just because. I count my fingers. Onetwothreefour... new ones start sprouting. Well, that's weird. It's almost like I'm dreaming or something.

      I try again, and I get to seven before I give up. Obviously I am dreaming. So... Nomad's task. I need to get to a forest. I jump out the nearest window into the front yard. My brother is there, hanging out with a DC from the Halloween party. Definitely dreaming, then, and whoa...

      The dream is destabilizing. The entire world tilts on its axis, and white lines start running parallel to every object in the scene, as they do in Assassin's Creed. I stop to take a breath, keeping my eyes open, and I start touching the objects around me. I kneel down and touch the grass, the concrete driveway, a metal railing, and I'm back.

      I decide that the best way to get there is to run in a straight line. There's a forest directly to the south, I convince myself. I cross the street at a run, hit the wall with one foot, and leap onto the brown-shingled roof.

      I don't stop. From the first house, I jump onto the roof of the next. Keep moving. I land on some kind of antennae, and the structure sways dangerously as I make the jump to the next structure.

      I'm on a scaffold. The next building - a warehouse - is an impossible distance away, several feet higher than the platform I'm jumping from, and twenty feet away. I jump the gap, and I'm suspended in the air.

      I pull at my momentum, bending the dream to allow me a few more meters in height - and I grasp the edge of the roof. I pull myself up near the chimney. On the other side of the warehouse is a big camping tent set up in someone's backyard. I jump. I land on the tent, and it cushions my fall, billowing out around me. My vision is filled with yellow and red, and I think hard, imagining the demon boy I'm supposed to rescue, and the dark thing that's after him...


      The forest is oppressively quiet. I can smell the pine, feel the hot mugginess created by a recent rain. Fully immersed in my character, I stand in the center of a huge clearing, waiting.

      A flash of red goes zooming by. I've found Nomad's demon boy. I'm slightly disappointed. I was hoping I could use this opportunity to discover Amon's origin (a DC I've apparently mentored throughout his life). Instead, it's just a regular demon.

      He's being chased by a wolf. I recognize the creature as an entity from my childhood nightmares. It's back, and I'll have to deal with that eventually. For now, I allow the demon child to distract it.

      I spot a piece of paper on the ground near a pond. Picking it up, I skim the text. Instructions from Nomad on what to do next.

      Did you save the demon boy? Y/N

      I look up across the clearing. The demon is running as fast as he can, frantically trying to get away from my nightmare creature. The wolf is gleefully giving chase. I'm not sure whether he's actually any danger, or if he's just toying with the demon. Either way, I have no interest in rescuing the child.

      Did you propose to the barmaid? Y/N

      I look at the paper, and blink. And blink again. No, WakingNomad, I did not propose to the barmaid. Although, I should pay a visit to Denn sometime in the near future.

      Scare Factor: 3

      Also, this result amused me.

      Updated 11-10-2014 at 01:37 AM by 31096

      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    15. #150. Aliens

      by , 09-20-2010 at 06:04 AM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      09/19/10

      "No! No! Stop!" she shouts at the bizarre figures. She's the character from last night's dream, the roommate who looks like a younger Halle Berry. The girl struggles, tries to pull away, but she's strapped into the machine by strong hands holding her down.

      The black tendrils bury into her wrists and she screams. Sizzling with dark energy and blue sparks, the wires grate against every nerve, causing her pain beyond what she's ever imagined. (I feel the echo.)

      She's suspended horizontally, supported only by the wires on her wrists and ankles, which string her tightly over the laboratory floor. It's pure agony.

      "You should be quiet." Says one of the aliens. "If you keep screaming, we'll put you in the chambers."

      Images of coffin-sized capsules, each containing a human being. The capsules are filled with a liquid which burns ("like lava," whispers one of the victims) and seems to eat away at the person inside. It's a stable chemical reaction which will last for an eternity, providing power for the alien conquerors to sustain their society.

      ("This is hell.")

      "Nonononono..." whispers the girl, trying to ignore the pain. "I'll be quiet, please! Don't put me in there, I can be quiet!"

      I come back to myself. I'm sitting cross-legged on the cold floor, and my arms are suspended by the same tendrils that are causing the other girl such pain. The wires dig into my wrists, and the blue energy sizzles through my arms. I breathe out and sink into a meditation.

      "Is it broken?" One of the aliens asks, curiously.

      I open my eyes. The two aliens are talking quietly amongst themselves. It's unheard of for a human to be able to withstand this particular torture for so long. It's been at least twenty-four hours since I've been put into it, and the two beings in front of me seem to think that it's broken my mind.

      I'm not, of course, human.

      My possible futures flash before me. In one, I collaborate with the aliens and facilitate the destruction of the human race. Eventually, I'll destroy the conquering civilization itself, and move on to the rest of the galaxy. In a few futures, I'll lead humanity in a rebellion, with varying degrees of success.

      I don't pick one. Instead, I play through each of them, living through each possibility until the point that all life in the universe is destroyed.

      It never takes long.

      Scare Factor: 5/10
      Rating: 6/10

      Updated 11-10-2014 at 01:38 AM by 31096

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
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