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Afternoon of August 4, 2015. Tuesday.



I will open this entry with a recent very vivid and somewhat disturbing dream (on some levels).

“Spaghetti Brain”

Morning of August 2, 2015. Sunday.

I am in my present home on W Street and I notice my youngest son sleeping on his left side on the floor. His head is encased in a glass aquarium filled with water. As I look more closely, I notice that the area where his hair would normally be is fleshy (though somewhat hollow) and that there are strands of (cooked) “living spaghetti” moving about in the water (somewhat worm-like) as if related to some sort of breathing function. At times, though, the “spaghetti” is much sparser and this seems cause for concern. I also see a small piece of macaroni at times (mostly above where his ears would otherwise be), which vaguely reminds me of some sort of tiny worm. He does not seem to be in distress though I still worry about whether or not this is normal. I seem more concerned when there is the least spaghetti “swimming” about and moving down and through some sort of organic structure near his neck. As vivid and surreal (and bizarre) this imagery is, I do not become lucid at any point. I continue to have deep concern about his well-being, but there does not seem to actually be anything wrong. I get the impression that there is not as much active “spaghetti” because he is in a deep sleep.

My above dream probably relates to seeing myself in the form of my son and puzzling about the nature of consciousness and still not becoming lucid in this case. It also correctly shows the nature of my consciousness in sleep (spaghetti becoming sparser in there being less critical thinking on hand).

“‘Eat me…eat me…’ and animated birds” (July 6, 1985) caught me in sleep paralysis which is normally pleasant, though this was not. A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese “dances” and rattles in the air near my head and screams “eat me eat me eat me” as I try to cover my head with my pillow. I have updated this entry with my interpretation, so am linking this particular one in this entry.

“Tornado Encounter” (November 24, 2014) has the tornado turning my old neighborhood in La Crosse into large strands of cooked spaghetti (rather than the expected debris of wood and glass and such). It also replaces the one block of Loomis Street with a bridge (not that elevated), the only time a dream has created this alteration of the setting. There is an additional concept that ties in with the Disney animated movie “Lady and the Tramp”. Even though I had updated “Tornado Encounter” fairly recently, there is still more in the decoding. The scene causes me to think of when the two dogs end up kissing accidentally due to both picking up and sucking in the same strand of spaghetti (a scene I saw numerous times as a child in television commercials). So, in knowing that a tornado is the bottom half of the Merkaba and that spaghetti is related to extensions of mental energies, this dream is showing me that I need to “pick up the strand of spaghetti” and wake up to be with my soulmate (as the “old neighborhood” is gone) so I can kiss her and not wander about in dreams so much other than when becoming lucid and seeking higher states and real knowledge (rather than conjecture). Now that I know what spaghetti lying about anywhere means, I am thus prepared.

“The Legend of Tony Karoni” (June 27, 1976), though not related to a pasta theme, does include the surname “Karoni”, naturally causing me to think of macaroni (as well as “mac” being another word for a man whose name is unknown). There also seems to be some sort of play on the idea of a “spaghetti western” (though in fact, it is supposedly called a “macaroni western” primarily in Japan). “Needle’s cell” in fact, may be a deliberate play on brain cells, this dream being about a month before my surgery on my right thumb and wrist, which is related to much of how I interpreted it at the time.

“As the Worm Turns” (May 17, 2014), which was “dream of the day” on one site on Monday, August 3, 2015, also had implications of macaroni being close to the head (and even inside the brain - taking me back to someone who was making jokes about “brain worms” regarding raisins in muffins at my father’s wake and where I just sat gasping and giggling foolishly at his audacity). In this case, the supposed “killer worms”, in dying, fall out of my hair as seemingly uncooked elbow macaroni (in a very vivid perspective). This also relates to my own conscious energy not being in my dream as I am not lucid. The potential though unacknowledged and uncontrolled “mental energies” are the worms in this case and become macaroni prior to my waking since I had not used the energies for apex lucidity. The likely play on “showing your feathers” in this dream is probably sarcasm from the Source (or a wayward orphaned tulpa) based on the line "stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni”.

Additionally, the “Tornadopillar” dream (April 3, 1982) brings to mind a dream, “The Great 'God’ Worm” (April 4, 1992) where the Merkaba is huge (appearing, in fact, as the total essence of god) and appears as a giant albino glass-like earthworm, “spinning” into my forehead like a tornado force after spending time with my wife-to-be at the top of a truncated staircase (which also seemed to be in a “divine” portmanteau setting including restaurant and observatory).

In conclusion, macaroni and spaghetti represent the energies of the human brain. The link to caterpillars and earthworms is also relevant due to their visual similarities. The difference is that caterpillars “ascend” in becoming butterflies (“lower” mental energies into ascension with soulmate union) and in contrast, the earthworm can be either microcosm or macrocosm (in either digging deep or “digging as high as possible” in the “god-like” Palouse earthworm form - or great white worm, which unfortunately is associated with the devil in some schools of thought).

There. I am glad I got this all sorted out. Thank you for reading.

Morning of May 17, 2014. Saturday.



There is a town that, if the orientation is relative to La Crosse (which it seems to be in my dream) it is east of where I am presently living in my dream. This seems to be a fictional location but still seemingly on Gillette Street (“Gillette” of course, relative to “close shaves”). There are quite a few people around.

The story is, that worms have all but taken over the next town to the east. These worms mostly crawl up walls and fall on people and “bore” from the back of the neck (being a possible play on someone being “a pain in the neck”, “painfully boring”, and “getting under one’s skin” - and “worm” also sounds a little like “word” - so what I gather from this is - “boring words being a pain in the neck and getting under the skin” which is quite relevant and timely).

There have been a few times in my life where pests almost got the better of me, but not in this case, and of course never in a “real” or life-oriented sense. The worms are known as “Vermicelli Obnoxious”, but when rendered harmless by some sort of special cheese sauce (with some sort of human DNA mixed with earthworm DNA), they turn into macaroni and die as such, yet with a clay-like essence.

I know this sounds ridiculous (even for me), but it really was quite vivid and coherent, though not lucid until just at waking point. A chubby man, reminding me a bit of an unwashed hot dog vendor in a park during an expo (circa 1997) is setting up some sort of “repellent”. The cheese sauce in question seems to repel the worm, so I am not sure how it could kill them if they supposedly always crawl away from it, but such is typical dream “logic”. He checks one larger pot in some sort of outdoor cooking area. The special “repellent” is in a circular pattern, seemingly blocking the apparent space in the pot’s lid from where the handle is attached via screws. He checks the other pot, which seems solid through the lid due to the handle not being attached with screws and instead welded on. For a moment, he seems puzzled, but then leaves it as it is without putting in any special cheese sauce.

I am not sure I trust the circumstances of “saving the town”, but I still volunteer for the dangerous journey into worm territory. Over time, we (the group and I) are walking about in a safer area of the town. However, arguments and name-calling break out. There are three lines of people that remind me of how I was part of a line in the playground at West Elementary with other lines of students for other teachers as we were to return to class. I was part of the last line to return to class (as if it was some sort of punishment) because there was always a particular student that was basically a troublemaker - who tried to claim that this was somehow everyone else’s fault even though he was the only legitimate bully in the entire grade, so the teacher, Mrs. Faison (an older black lady who was my favorite teacher at the time) would walk around until he was “settled” before taking the line of her students into the school (as you can guess, sometimes this took a few minutes or more as he talked to himself, the student in front of him and the student in back of him, saying that he actually was not talking that whole time he was talking - Mrs. Faison showing quite a bit of patience with him, really).

Again, in my dream there are two lines of about eight people each facing each other and oriented east/west, and an additional line, facing south and standing near a sort of park utility building that has a singular awning the length of the building. The whole fiasco of name-calling seems to be related to the first “team” of worm hunters and aid workers or whatever being jealous of the other two teams that actually have done more work regarding direct involvement with more people and “worm attacks” and a higher risk. One male at the head of a line of a team I seem to be in yells something about “showing your feathers” as some sort of metaphor for being “ruffled” I think though I am not sure.

Eventually, the cheese sauce seems to be working and it is safer to go into more previously infested areas of the town. I sit down at a picnic table with several others. A girl, who reminds me of Steve Irwin’s wife (I saw them in real life at a show in Brisbane prior to their marriage and before they became more well-known), is walking around checking out the area nearby and walks back near the table. She looks in my direction and warns people that some of the worms may still be active and stares at me cautiously as I feel smaller, lighter things falling on my head.

I feel a strange knife-like poke in the back of my neck and reach back to pull it out at the same time a fair amount of clay-like “elbow macaroni” falls from my hair as I quickly brush it all out as they all (the worm-creatures) are somehow rendered harmless or dead, most of which are now either pale gray or a sickly pale pink. This was a “close call”, but the one I pulled from the back of my neck seemed to be one of the last worms left in the dangerous “Vermicelli Obnoxious” stage. All the other worms in the town, it seems, have either died or turned into harmless clay-like elbow macaroni. For a moment, I thought I was in trouble, but there was one and only one boring worm being a pain in the neck.

After waking, there is an odd concern about my dream that I did not have in-dream, that being Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Conqueror Worm” - about human mortality and the inevitability of death.

I had two or three dreams last night but not really sure of the order they were in:

I remember being on a road that runs parallel to a railroad track. Up ahead, the road makes a 90 degree turn to the right and crosses the tracks. I'm not sure what I'm driving, only that it's smaller than the cars and trucks that are lined up on the road. They're lined up because a train is coming and the crossing gate is down. My vehicle is small enough (a golf cart maybe?) so that I can drive alongside the stopped vehicles until I come to the railroad crossing. The first vehicle in line is my truck but some else (a friend) is driving it. While we're waiting for the train to pass, I look over and notice a small stone wedged in the tread or the right front tire. So I reach over and pry it out with my fingers but when it comes out, it turns out to be a long thin strip of metal or something, which I drop on the ground. Having seen how long the metal piece was, I'm now worried that the tire is losing air. I put my ear close to the tire, and I think I hear air coming out. But the train going by is making too much noise so I'm not sure. I put my hand where the metal piece was to see if I can feel any air coming out, but I can't. I step back and look at the tire to see if it looks low or flat, but it appears to be okay. I look on the ground for the piece of metal I dropped because I want to look at it more closely, but I can't find it. I think I find it but what I find turns out to be a long thin piece of rubber that is hanging down from the tire's wheel cover. Anyway, I'm worried that if the tire IS leaking air and with the train taking so long to go by, it might be flat by the time the train passes.

In my next dream, I'm on an airplane. But it's not a normal looking airplane; it seems to have more than one cockpit. I never see it, but I'm assuming there is the normal cockpit at the front. I'm back in the cabin and there are two pilots sitting in seats which appear to have a second set of controls (almost like a driver's ed car has more than one steering wheel). But the pilots are just sitting there. I get the feeling that whoever is up front is flying the plane and these two pilots back here in the cabin are there just in case they're needed. We're coming in on approach over what appears to be a busy multi-lane freeway and having to bob and weave over, under and around obstacles like power lines and overpasses. It becomes clear to me that whoever is up front is having trouble keeping the plane steady and I begin to wonder if and when the two pilots in the back are going to take over. All of a sudden the plane descends down quickly and almost lands in the back of a large boat that's being towed on a trailer on the freeway. We're so close I can see the surprised face of a man standing in the boat. At that point, the two pilots take over and begin flying the airplane. I don't remember anything after that.

In my third dream, I'm in what appears to be a large warehouse. People are claiming cargo and unpacking it. There is a family of Asian-looking people to my right and they're unpack two or three large bundles that appear to have been wrapped up in these huge green leaves. Each bundle is about three feet high and wide by about four feet long. I get the feeling that they bought or won the large bundles without knowing what was in them and that they're just now finding out. Since I'm close by, I can see what's in there as they unwrap them and it appears to be macaroni salad but the noodles are huge, big enough to put my arm through. Apparently, the contents of the bundles isn't what the people expected because they don't seem pleased. A little boy in the group turns his head and grimaces after smelling the noodles. At this point, my memories of the dream jump ahead a little. The same Asian family is now preparing the macaroni salad concoction on a stove and the man cooking (the father?) has added some kind of ingredient that he says will give it more protein. He wants me to buy a plate of the stuff from him, but I'm not sure if I should or not. Suddenly I remember I'm there with my brother and go outside to find him and explain what's going on. I walk outside into a courtyard and see my brother off to the right. He's standing by a small concrete ledge and talking to my Mother and a couple of my other brothers who are sitting on the ledge. I walk over to say hi to my Mom and she stands up and gives me a hug. At this point, I woke up.

Morning of July 6, 1985. Saturday.



Probably one of the most unusual clearer dreams I have had involved thinking I had awakened (in a very vivid “realistic” false awakening), only to find myself in persistent sleep paralysis (where I believe I actually did open my eyes at times). A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese (single serving) danced around in the air, screaming “Eat me! Eat me!” in a rather high-pitched raspy voice and it was shaking about like a loud rattle in my ears and face.

I feel great discomfort yet also feel the mildly pleasant body-wide tingling. I try to cover my head but it does not work very well. It seems to torment me for several minutes. As I finally begin to wake more fully, I notice a smaller moving silver engraving (like a photographic negative) of a heron and a bittern dressed up like elderly gentlemen (though the birds incorrectly rendered as being around the same size), with one in a top hat and the other in a derby, and with canes and fancy shoes, in a position moving away from near my door (King Street boarding house - the L-shaped room), on a table. Although they are implied to be walking westward, the imagery mostly remains in one area, as if I am seeing it on some sort of implied projection (as if on an unseen television otherwise).

As soon as I woke up, I went into the kitchen and cooked and ate that last box of macaroni and cheese. (Well…what would you have done?) I was not “starving” but I had regularly been eating a lot less at the time. I do get a vague impression at one point that the birds may be coming back from “celebrating the Fourth of July” in a partial or subtle anthropomorphic manner.

I have finally decoded the macaroni and spaghetti symbolism, I believe. It relates directly to the energies of the human brain (as a bowl of cooked macaroni and cheese resembles the brain to some extent). The box (in its potential but not utilized form) was trying to get me to appreciate the nature of using my brain in my state of sleep paralysis and the two birds represented my conscious and subconscious finding freedom in “walking together”.