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    1. Aegean Geography

      by , 05-24-2019 at 02:41 AM (The Fourth Factor)
      The dream begins in large building of indefinite function—mostly a large, open space with various rooms branching off, somewhat like a mall, although it doesn’t have the feel of one. At one point, I enter one of these rooms. It’s filled with plush toys of various kinds. On top of one cabinet is a series of small narwhals. One of them is gray and fuzzy, with a string going around it. On it are a few metal beads with letters on them spelling out a name. It’s exactly like one my friend Nina made for me when we were children, and it occurs to me that seeing it here can only mean one thing: I’m dreaming.

      I walk back out into the larger room, where I take a look around. The floor is made up of black and white tiles in a checkerboard pattern. I could have some fun with that. In response to my intention, the black tiles glow red, blue, a whole series of bright colors in succession. Then I decide to change things more dramatically. I simply intend for the floor to change, not specifying how, and in response, it shifts into an abstract pattern, tendrils of color curved across a white background, made out of smaller tiles than before—like a mosaic. They’re predominantly salmon pink with subdued green, as well as tiles in darker colors, which give the patterns depth and contrast.

      Looking across the large room, I see a wall of glass windows. Beyond it, the sky is visible, and a bit of the landscape below, as if this place is located somewhere high up. Some people are gathered out on a landing on the other side. I decide I’ll go over there next. But the floor is changing again: this time, into blues, greens, yellows, touches of orange. It’s a map now—specifically, a topographical map. I didn’t do that.

      Rather than heading over to the windows, I examine the new floor. There are words written over locations, like they would be on an actual map, but there seems to be more written here than just names. However, the language is an unfamiliar one—possibly Spanish. But, I think, that shouldn’t be a problem for the place names since those tend to stay much the same between languages.

      I am standing over the part showing the Aegean Sea. The island directly in front of me is labeled 'Mykonos'—and memory tells me (and Google confirms once I’ve awakened) that it does indeed have that island’s distinctive shape. I look over near the Turkish coast, but the islands there don’t match up nearly as well. They don't even seem to be the same islands at all. I look around various areas of the map until I wake up.

      22.5.19
      Categories
      lucid
    2. Thursday, March 7

      by , 03-19-2019 at 06:33 AM
      I am doing an escape room with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. This place looks like an actual house, with a few rooms that we can go into. The house seems very tidy and sort of minimalistic, though not without adornments, and has an antiquated feeling to it, as if lived in by an older person. I get the sense of some sort of travel theme, aided by a huge map of the world taking up almost a whole wall. We are trying to escape now, and it seems like I’m doing a lot of it. It’s not that they aren’t or can’t, it’s just that I can excel in a small group of familiar people. I end up moving a bunch of hanging paintings. One has a clue written in red ink on its back side. Many reveal a tiny, circular light bulb protruding from the wall behind. I imagine that these will all light up later and serve as a clue one way or another. I like that the clues flow easily, even if somewhat too easily, and aren’t disjointed. I had moved a small realistic painting of a brown bear (the bear on a slight incline, seemingly in motion, very realistic, and cropped fairly close). One clue mentioned something ‘dreary’, which we noticed with some excitement was referencing a very large and impressionistic painting of people that looked dreary indeed. (*As I write this, I think it may have been moving this painting that revealed the map). I think we are supposed to place small pins in certain spots on the map. The map is now gone? and there are just little holes in the white/tan wall. There seems to be three different clusters of holes, and I think the pin needs to be placed in the correct hole. Melissa guesses the first placement correctly, after which a recorded voice from a speaker tells us we’ve gotten it correct. We try the other ones but never get a response. I end up telling our situation the female employee on the other end of the radio. She’s quiet for a second and then I hear her say to someone else “I have no idea.” I also don’t really know what there is for them to do when a piece of the game simply isn’t working. At this point, I’m thinking we’ll just have them tell us the answers to this part. I also notice that Melissa and Brooke seem to be off doing something else. I hear them talking and laughing in another room. Then it becomes more quiet, and I go look. Melissa is laying in a small bed in an alcove in the wall just big enough for it. I notice a gap between the far and the wall along the head of the bed (which is reminiscent to me of the sleeping quarters on a boat). Melissa looks grumpy, her face sort of flushed and pouting, her gaze diverted. I go to kiss her but she moves so that we kiss each other on the cheek instead. At this point, I notice that her eyes are a little misty. I was what’s wrong and she keeps saying nothing, etc. I finally get it out of her that she’s upset that the puzzle room is not working as it’s supposed to. It irritates me because it’s such a trivial thing to let yourself get upset over. I go back into the other room now, and I don’t think we even have radio contact with this girl. She said she was going to call the shoe room? This room is behind the other. There’s a writing desk and an old corded phone that I see but never hear. While waiting, I start opening drawers, but find nothing. I’m wondering how much further this puzzle room will go into the house. I notice a bathroom and a room or two off of this one. I never do hear the phone. Earlier, I noticed a timer with a green ‘70’. I thought that meant we were doing really well on time.




      I am at Walmart? with Melissa, buying only two things. We are at the end of what is apparently the only line, behind a family of four that looks nice enough but also a little privileged. The woman notices how we only have two items and offers for us to just throw it in with their stuff. I was going to use a gift card, and I’m not sure how much is on it exactly, so I’m not sure how that’d work.




      I am outside of a grocery store. I run up to the entrance, pushing a cart, and ask the younger looking boy employee if they do valet, with an absurd touch of humor. I then leave the cart and run inside to retrieve what I’ve forgotten.




      I am watching (on the news or some kind of video?) cars driving in both directions on a freeway through a snowstorm. Someone is commenting on how it’s almost been the worst winter when, sure enough, a car starts to drift and ends up impacting a school bus. Then school bus then takes out another vehicle and the whole thing exponentiates into an event that just made it the worst winter to date.
    3. Beautiful Wondrous Rain

      by , 11-10-2018 at 09:08 AM
      Morning of November 10, 2018. Saturday.

      Dream #: 18,954-02. Reading time: 2 min 26 sec. Readability score: 66.



      I am looking at a map of the island of Sulawesi (Celebes) with its very unusual shape. I notice an isolated fictitious town with the name of “Core” that is otherwise where Central, West, and South Sulawesi meet. There are mostly only native inhabitants there. I project my dream self into the map to create the foundation of my dream. I decide I will play the role of introducing new opportunities and resources to the region.

      At one point, I mentally create diced pineapples in a bowl and the tribal leader enjoys them. I reassure him that I will only allow a few tourists to come to the area only during certain time periods and that I will have my team clean the region on a regular basis.

      At another point, several soldiers, all in black, come to occupy the area. I mentally create an army that comes in from a ship and wipes them all out.

      I decide to go on a journey to Los Angeles. An unfamiliar backpacker asks if he can go with us, and I say yes. I enjoy the idea of a random dream denizen (almost as if I see him as “real” or having perception) being on my ship in my dream. Although the trip is supposed to last several days, we arrive there within minutes. I try to make the ocean waves more interesting. In the distance, there seem to be huge “curtains.”

      I alter the nature and progression of my dream with the intent of increasing my dream state awareness. I create rain to sustain and vivify my dream to astounding levels (as water and its specific dynamics has always been a natural melatonin factor of the dream state). The weight and coolness of the water is incredibly realistic. I slowly fly in standing position above an unknown town in semidarkness. I marvel at the pleasurable sensations of the rain that falls upon my skin and the realistic, vivid sound of rain all around me. I fly slowly over a small canal with culverts on each end.

      I eventually land and bring out the sun. I walk down a wooden sidewalk and notice the nexus simulacrum (personified preconscious) going through a doorway built adjacent to the building on my right but of which goes to the intersection, but I mentally force him to turn around. I ask him, “What is your name?” He looks puzzled and in a hurry. “What is your name?” I ask him two more times, in case there is an interconsciousness thread present.

      I maintain the expectation that the nexus simulacrum may have a level of transpersonal intelligence that may not originate from my dream self.

      He answers with “Dennis Sunimun.” I let him leave, as he seems late for a business meeting. Still, “Dennis” is the name of my brother and “Sunimun” is an obvious distortion of “sunny man.” I was hoping for something more, evidence of intelligence beyond my own, which has been present in certain previous dreams.

      I reset my dream, with the possibility I will wake myself, but I end up in an offset dream of lesser vividness. Still, I make my way to a library to write down the event. I walk through midair, about ten feet above the street, with a few random people.

      In the library, I read handwritten details in a notebook. I write “Dennis Sunimun” several times, but when I look each time, I am not sure if it is clear enough to carry over into my conscious memory and I try writing it again. Finally, I go into another area of the library and walk out with my family.


      Categories
      lucid
    4. xxxvi.

      by , 09-10-2018 at 11:03 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up only at roughly 10:20 again and had to answer the door as well. Was having a weird non-lucid, but quite many details lost.



      Dream:
      In the first half of this sequence there were twisty roads down a forested mountain; it was a pine forest. Then I remember seeing a digital map, with a few roads going to a specific place that was being highlighted.

      Then I remember me and my partner were in the car but I could see through third-person view and we were getting on a motorway suspended over the ocean and we were speeding; there was at least one truck and a few other cars as we got on the motorway and then it sort of curved for a little bit, before we started going quite fast and the road went straight again, and it turned into aggressive ups and downs (with inclinations greater than 40 degrees). It was night and in the distance there was a sunset, in the horizon, where the road seemed to go.

      Then, a cavernous-like place, with dim red light, this was where the map was highlighting before; this was like some nexus point between dimensions, and there were some creatures that chased me, or perhaps more accurately followed me, since they weren't energetically chasing after me. At the end there was a room. A mostly square room, with a skylight, and a door that shut behind me, which I remember looking at; it was a wooden door and it had 3 things like badges or medals hanging off it. I remember they were a dark blue colour.

      The skylight took up a large area of the ceiling and some sort of daylight came through, as if it was a cloudy day. This room was the actual nexus, it was somehow implied to me during the dream. Then next to where I was in the room, there was a counter to the right and on it was a miniature dresser, and on that, a black cat's head. The head was alive, simply disembodied, and spoke or something. But the cat was mean somehow, and for some reason I remember rubbing my elbow on the cat's face, watching it do those amusing faces when cats don't like something.

      Some part of the dream related to this nexus repeated itself.



      Notes:
      • Because I remember so little detail, the most impressive thing from the dream was perhaps the room with the skylight.
      • There were only two doors in that room, one being the one I entered from, and another being on the wall to the left. While the room was square or rectangular, it had a sort of cut at the far right corner, like for a pillar.
      • There were other things atop that counter the cat was also on, but I can't remember them. The middle of the room was empty, as I remember seeing most of the daylight on the floor.
      • I'm not sure what the (waking) context is for this room and its contents. The cat head is probably the most bizarre thing I've dreamed recently, and simply because I have no context whatsoever for its appearance.
      • The context of the suspended motorway and the roads is probably from playing a bit of Fallout last night. I always like the suspended highway lanes in the game universe.
      • The cavern's context is probably also from last night, because the last thing I did in the game was go around hunting Deathclaws, which usually live in highly radiated areas, and sometimes dark caves.
      • The pine forest reminds me of the greatwood forest I saw when I was in California some years ago.
    5. Many dreams and less info

      by , 08-07-2018 at 04:04 PM
      I remember more dreams today than yesterday.

      ☆ School. Teacher hating on me for not being or acting like the other students. Got some things to do but threw them away in a bin and kept on working with my own project. Highly disliked by the teacher tho.

      ☆ Fighting with other girls for survival. My opponent knew everything about me but I didn’t know anything about her except for being from the ancient Rom.

      ☆ Gave all my christmas things to my little sister so she could take care of next christmas without me. She wanted to make a change and I didn’t really like it but accepted it.

      ☆ A man that was a good salesman but he wasn’t on the right side of the law. He took drugs and shit but was a really nice man. His skillz was amazing with selling things. I was really impressed.

      ☆ A map with flowers on it instead of rivers and no names written.
    6. Thursday, June 14

      by , 07-21-2018 at 09:02 PM
      I am looking at a map that must be on a computer (it looks like Google Earth) with Melissa. I start zooming in on Nevada, and we can start to see streets and buildings while the whole country is still in frame. I continue zooming, trying to pull the northwest portion into focus. There is a street that seems to transverse just about the whole state. As I get closer, lines of houses along the road pop onto the screen. Some of them are in pairs, facing each other and diagonal to the road. Melissa says something about it being by her neighborhood. I scroll a little to the left, and we see on the map an image of someone walking. I get closer, and we see that it is Melissa. She is wearing her work smock. I think this must’ve been when she was still walking to work (She never has, though).



      I’m outside in a back or side yard? seated in chairs with Dad, Jon, and another. We are talking about beer; Jon mentions a [some flavor: peach?] ale. I think it sounds good. It is dim/dark out.



      There is some type of long and thin dock. At the end of it, I have dropped something into the water. It is deep, but not too deep - 10 feet? It is cold though, so I wouldn’t want to submerge myself. I end up prodding some pole down and only needing to extend my arm into the water a little bit to retrieve this blue mop head?
    7. Dream - Am I Seeing Double?

      by , 04-28-2017 at 01:51 PM
      Date of Dream: TUE 29 NOV - 2016



      Dream No. 76 - Am I Seeing Double?


      The place mainly featured in this dream was called Killester but it actually resembled Camelot Rise more than it did Killester. So what I remember first is that there were actually two of me! We know that dreams are typically played out in first-person mode and the person in this mode was indeed me... But only one of me. The "me" that was in first-person mode was the one from the real waking life, I was visiting this so called Killester while on my travels through the dream world.

      As I was at Killester, I came across Dreamy Mr H but he was looking at me strangely. This is actually where I come to the realisation that there was another one of me, my dreamy clone. He's going something like this, "Karla, I thought you were going somewhere. What are you doing here?" and that's when I said "I wasn't going anywhere but Dreamy Mr H is still in doubt. I then tell him, "I'm not the Karla you think I am". I actually originate from the Earthly dimension" and that's when he gets a look of massive shock and amazement.

      I think the dream then skipped to Dreamy Karla's perspective (note, she is not in first-person mode and I can actually see her when the dream camera is in her scene). So what's going on is that Dreamy Karla is speaking to Dreamy WB's little sister, Dreamy LB. By what was going on, apparently Dreamy LB was due for her check-up at the dentists, or at least Dreamy Karla thought so. I thought that Dreamy Karla would be a lot more humble than I am... But she spoke in exactly the same way, using some slang and an extremely Aussie accent.

      She said to Dreamy LB, "Let's go for a nice drive in my ute. I know a good dentist that's about one and a half hours away. Dr C (I've forgotten her complete name), she's really good). Dreamy Karla could see the fear in Dreamy LB eyes, so she added "Dr C knows what she is doing. I've been there so many times and she's so patient and gentle in what she does". Then when we're sitting in the ute, Dreamy LB tells me that she has this text on her phone, something about someone else going to take her in her own time. That's when Dreamy Karla asks her "When's the last time you had a check up?" and she replies "February". After a short pause, Dreamy Karla says "And it's November now. Come on, let's go, it's not gonna hurt ya". And so Dreamy LB gives a little sigh with an "Okay Karla".

      Before they drove off, there was just one more thing that Dreamy Karla had to do. She goes to Dreamy LB "Now, we don't want others to see where we are going. So I'm just going to deformat this map and then we can head off". A zoomed camera projection of the map showed with the location point in red and the roads in grey. So with the power of the mind only, Dreamy Karla moved the red point off to the right of the map a bit but what she didn't was also the roads being manipulated. Still, she and Dreamy LB got started then the dream faded from that scene.

      What it did fade to was back to my perspective. I was walking towards one of the gates and what's when I see Dreamy WB. As I was only visiting the dream world, I was amazed... The comparison with the Earthly WB was phenominal. So I approach Dreamy WB, saying to her "Oh wow, you're so much more beautiful than the real WB". Dreamy WB looked extremely slim and curvy and was wearing a dark denim jacket on top of a black/really dark navy pencil dress. When I said that comment to her, she didn't really say anything, only making some sounds of appreciation. Over the fence, she hugged me long and hard, it was like 10 - 15 seconds before she let go.

      The dream then skipped to the time-frame that Dreamy Karla and Dreamy LB had gotten back from the dentist but there was also someone else who went with them. A friend of Dreamy Karla's, Dreamy KH, decided she wanted to keep them company. I was walking around the block of this certain area that resembled the suburb of my old house but then there was this open space up ahead and in that open space somewhere, was a large van. I had suspicions about that van... I thought that van was once Dreamy Karla's ute, just by the way it looked. I stepped inside and it actually looked like the interior of a house!

      Now this is going to sound weird but it felt like Earthly Karla's character no longer existed from this point on, or if it did, she (being I) rarely spoke. Although I was in the house-truck, the dream would only focus on Dreamy Karla's perspectives. Actually, hang on a sec... I was the one being weird! I was actually the one putting the house up for sale on Dreamy Karla's behalf... But I was making out like the house was mine and not hers.

      Okay, back to what was actually happening. I was giving the commentary to Dreamy Mr H and Dreamy Ms A, along with their kids but these kids are not their kids in real life. They were two stranger kids of whom I know nothing about in the Earthly dimension. One very interesting feature of the house were these oddly shaped pillars that could come down as a decoration or space divider. Each time they came down, they were a different colour and a different shape. After a few times of the pillars going up and down, I woke up.

      Updated 04-29-2017 at 07:09 AM by 93119

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    8. 16-01-17 “Road Trip to Iceland, with Steen and Dad”

      by , 01-17-2017 at 08:56 PM
      This dream was what I recalled this morning following the intention: My intention for tonight is first and foremost to wake up and remember my dreams. Secondly I feel like I am approaching a cross-roads and I feel uncertain about where to place my efforts, so I would be thrilled with some assistance from my dreams in this respect. But foremost I trust my dreams and want to remember whatever they bring. It feels as if it is relevant somehow and I will use it as an opportunity to practise both descriptive evocative writing as well as Jungian interpretation methods.

      I am pondering the idea of going to Mexico, which appears much as you perceive a fantasy or mnemonic ideation in the waking state – the incipient sense of an image, a map perhaps, appearing before my inner eye.

      I direct my attention outwards and find myself in the passenger seat in Steen's silver-grey car, although I am inside the car I can clearly see the matte nuance of the silver grey colour on the outside of the car. My dad is in the back seat, and he seems gleeful and excited though he doesn't say or do much during the dream. We are going on a trip, and my dad and Steen are there helping me out, as it is mainly me going on a mission.

      It is pouring down outside, it is clouded and grey, which produce a darkish hue. We are at a ticket office, which resembles a mixture between a gas station and a junk food drive in. There are two protruding window tills on our right hand side and above an almost square section of roofing is covering the pavement next to the windows, providing some cover for the rain outside.

      We drive slowly towards the first of the two window tills – one for ordering another for picking up the tickets – and as we do I feel something bump into the car towards the back, which also produce a mild audible thump. I look out the window and backwards to see if Steen has accidentally hit one of the massive concrete columns extending from the building. He is really close but I can't see any damage done to the car.

      I lean back in and Steen switches on the radio and the GPS system. The audio-scape is flooded with remnants of old mobile conversations, radio clatter and noise. I feel uneasy and a bit confused, as it is supposed to be a GPS system, providing guidance. Steen remains rather calm and composed and simply asks the GPS if it is there, and it dawns on me that it is a voice activated system.

      “I am here” a clear loud and direct female voice responds, which is a tremendous reassurance.

      Steen proceeds to drive forward and I wonder why I don't have to open the window to get the ticket. “It isn't necessary when you have one of these” he says and points to a rectangular electronic device, with an old school digital display in the bottom right corner of the front window, just in front of me as it would seem. It is essentially a device that registers that he has been here and automatically charges him for the ferry ride, which is what the ticket office is for.

      “So we are going to Iceland” he says, and I feel at first excited, but then a bit concerned because we will be sailing and we are supposed to go to either Mexico or the Faeroe Islands as well today and I am afraid we won't have time. I think about this only briefly before relinquishing the thought at aspiration to do all of these things.

      We look at a map and a black marker line appears that takes us from the ticket office “to Odden” which on the map is a full scale island, elongated and egg shaped except for a very pointed en on the right hand side. The black line takes us to the top and centre of the island, where the port town is based, from where we will board the ferry to Iceland.

      End of dream.

      In this interpretation I will start by breaking down the dream into its constituent motifs, and run free associations on them.

      There is a preceding map, an idea of a journey – which implies a plan and a set destination it also represents an overview of a trip, which can symbolise knowledge of where I am going in life. This is particularly salient as I am taken somewhere else than what I had “mapped out”, which excites me although the expectation of having to go somewhere specific within a given time frame becomes a source of frustration and tension/restlessness.

      The car is a solid and large station car, it is silver grey – the colour symbolising the silver grey snake-like pathway through space I frequently perceive in meditation, cannabis and psychedelic states also symbolising the spiritual cord often reported as seen in OBEs.

      The car is a symbol of my body, it is in good shape and the fact that my dad has been relegated to the back seat can be an expression of our recent confrontations and my insights on how he has dominated the development of my low self-esteem though his parenting style. He is now put in the back seat, representing that I still carry him with me and care for his approval and love, yet this aspect is no longer the driving motivating psychic energy for my aspirations for life – such as “save the world and become super famous”, which is simply a conditioned tendency I have developed as I felt under appreciated and unseen as a child.

      Steen is an old friend of the family, both my mum and dad – I associate to him that he recently helped me out with cheaply renting his summer house to me following an Ayahuasca journey where I wanted to stop smoking and I didn't feel for returning to my parents' house where I currently live right after. At this time he said to me that he sees how my dad communicates to people and told me that one would get insane living in that environment constantly, which felt extremely pleasant to hear as someone external with knowledge of my dad seemed to understand how hard it can be. Recently my mother expressed – in a sober state – that it can be extremely challenging for her to live in that and that friends of the family finds it a challenge to be around him as well. With Steen in the driver's seat I feel that I have taken a step towards taking control of my life and am grateful for the moral support of individuating myself from my dad, who has – without fault of his own or even consciously – dominated much of my life, through establishing uncertainty both with regards to a fragile self-esteem but also the messianic and grandiose drive to save the world to finally be worthy of his admiration and love. Steen represents a new found aspect of myself that is compassionate and understanding towards why I have turned out as I did as well as the drive to liberate myself from the clutches of my dad.

      The rain outside symbolise a torrential state of affairs with regards to my emotions – since my last Ayahuasca journey it is as if a lid has been removed and my libido is now coursing freely upwards, which result in more passionate responses and an easier time setting boundaries. It could also symbolise the fact that I am expending a lot of emotional energy in response to external uncontrollable aspects of the world, which is reminiscent of the saviour complex alluded to earlier.

      The ticket office could symbolise a public institution, such as the Health Authorities which I have recently been in contact with, with regards Ayahuasca. I might be approaching, or at least that is how I perceive it, a point where I am close to getting in trouble due to my enquiries, yet no harm is done yet. The whole point of issuing a ticket could represent my thinking on Ayahuasca's precarious legal status and potentially in the future thinking of a license model for practising, where the dream hints at that license is nothing that comes from the outside but an internal license, a calling (electronic ticket system).

      The GPS and radio system is particularly interesting to me. The clatter represents conditioned thinking and the attention I pay to outward clues for finding out how to direct my life. However when I look closely the “ancient mother” (female GPS voice) is there and is capable of taking me in the direction I need to go. The trick is to ask and learn to listen for what is coming from within and ignore restrictions I put on myself based on external sources of esteem and approval.

      The fact that I am concerned with the duration of the trip represents a problematic aspect of how I relate to life in an impatient way. I am lacking trust in life unfolding as it is supposed to. This is related again to the map I saw in the beginning of the dream, which representative of how I tend to construct expectations of how life SHOULD unfold and I am operating under an assumption that I need to go somewhere specific and I need to go there quickly. In essence this result in an escapist approach to life, where I am not allowing it to unfold on its own terms and cannot fully embrace and meet events in a curious, compassionate and open way.

      The end of the dream I see the ocean and the beach sort of imaginatively overlapped onto the map with the black line. I take it to symbolise that I am still in the process of letting go of my tendency to construct expectations and narrow definitions of success, but I will shortly arrive at a position where I let go and let Life overcome me and simply concede to the abrupt changes that are about to happen, with excited anticipation and joy in letting whatever happens happen. The fact that it is a sailing trip could represent a recognition of the potent force of the collective unconscious, and my submitting the stubborn fantasy that I am in control and surrendering to the collective collected wisdom of the evolution of Life itself.

      Reconstructing the meaning from associated and elaborated ideas.

      So a potential message from the dream could be that I am still constructing expectations of where and how life should take me. This becomes a source of frustration when I run into unexpected opportunities and twists of fate.

      My dad has been a source for grandiose and messianic ideation, due to his belittling and command-like style of communication, from where he will never explain why he commands, reminds, reprimands, but simply asserts himself in a supercilious tone of voice. Since we have widely different interests in life and he has proclaimed that he has no interest (or capacity) in trying to understand me I have since very early childhood developed these tendencies as a way to garner his approval, which is already there he has just never shown it in a way I could understand it when younger. The fact that he is relegated to the back seat symbolise that I am relegating the grandiose and very ambitious saviour identities – and associated expectancies – to a position where they are no longer “driving me”.

      The downpour contrasted with the comfortable, sturdy and undamaged quality of the silver grey car, can symbolise the progress I am making with meditation, where I have found an easier time dealing with painful emotions, as well as physical symptoms. They aren't allowed to penetrate to my core and when I continue the exercise I will strengthen my capacity to sift out the “radio clatter” (which can also signify the attribution of value to others' judgement of me) and listen to the voice of my heart, represented here by the Anima archetype, my deity in prayer – Mother Gaia.

      The ticket office close call could symbolise that I need to tone down my activities with certain authorities to avoid getting in trouble, especially because I already have an inner license to pursue my dreams.

      The trip to Iceland represents where I am headed next, which isn't a literal journey, although that might be fun also. In fact it might be very useful as it is Steen guiding me, which could mean a pointer to a place of safe haven, which he provided following my last Ayahuasca journey. However I have also recently considered reading up on mythology to get a better understanding of the empirical data that underpins the theory of the archetypes. This journey serves as a pointer towards examining Nordic mythology and shamanistic/divination cultural history.

      In short. With particular reference to the intention here I am being reminded that uncertainty is OK, cause if I try and envision or anticipate a direction I will form an expectation, which will lead to suffering when life takes me elsewhere. As long as I listen to my inner voice the direction is guaranteed, so I should just continue the work of being better at letting go of old ways of thinking and sharpen my attention on what matters instead of the clatter. Then a further dive into the Nordic mythology is in store.
    9. Food, Movie Theater, and Planning a Trip

      by , 12-13-2015 at 07:28 PM
      I remember only fragments. There were some images of random women eating junk food. Then there were three identical model-looking women at a table, sitting side by side, eating small bowls of junk food.

      Next I remember finding a bag of soybeans in the refrigerator. I thought they were supposed to be in the freezer but I think maybe they have thawed out and I can eat them now. I start eating the soybeans but they are not good cold and are not thawed all the way.

      Then I went to the movie theater with my boyfriend. It must be a movie theater in a mall because on the way to the theater we pass by a cute dog shopping with people. It's not big, but it is like a medium sized dog with white and brownish-orange fur. It's fur isn't long but just kinds of sticks out a little bit and is soft and silky. I tell the dog it is cute and then look to see who the dog is with and it is two women who are busy shopping and looking at clothes. One of the women is holding the dog's leash.

      Later me and and my boyfriend pass by the dog again, but it is just with one blonde-haired, tall white woman in her 40's. The dog breaks the leash and runs. The woman is frustrated as she is holding up the piece of the leash. My boyfriend goes to help the woman with the dog as I walk into the theater.

      Before the movie starts there is a pre-show. There are three boy singers. I call them boy singers because they look like they belong to a boy band but they are solo singers and they are not boys but either teenagers or in their early twenties. Anyway, they are not a group but are doing a collaborative singing performance. The theater is kind of crowded. I am wearing a black mask over my eyes and am wondering what people are thinking about me, like if they are thinking that I have eye injuries in both eyes and if they are wondering why I am coming to watch a movie if I can't see it. But I actually can see it because I peek out from under the mask and eventually take it off. (IRL I was wearing a black sleep mask while I was sleeping but in the dream didn't find it odd at all that I was wearing it in the movie theater.)

      The movie starts and it is some kind of Rugrats Christmas movie. It didn't seem like the kind of movie my boyfriend would want to watch. The movie is not all on one big screen but on two smaller screens on two different walls. After some time the screens turn off. A chubby white woman with puffy, curly, blonde hair walks in and says something about how someone is in the wrong theater. It is me. I walked into the wrong movie theater and my boyfriend must have told the movie theater people I was lost. They say my name and I raise my hand but then feel silly for doing that but I think no one notices so it is ok. I wait a little bit and then walk out of the theater. Later I check my email and my boyfriend has sent me a picture that he drew. It is a very pretty picture and the message says that the picture was inspired by the raccoon retreat.

      Then the last dream I remember is having a map out planning a trip but the map is wrong because the states are in the wrong places. I am wanting to go somewhere near the coast. The map has lines and colors and I am wondering what the lines and colors mean. The colors are temperatures and I think the lines are elevation but that doesn't seem right.

      Updated 12-13-2015 at 07:31 PM by 89446 (had to pick the category)

      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. Escaping the White Dragon In Ancient Sewer Labyrinth

      by , 11-10-2015 at 05:48 PM (Linkzelda's Dream Journal)
      10.11.2015
      Escaping the White Dragon In Ancient Sewer Labyrinth (DILD)

      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

      Surprisingly, I had little interest in recalling this dream, but if I keep doing that in general, I probably wouldn't bother to recall dreams that could be really awesome to depict visually in the future. I should continue doing more image streaming sessions during my days off from work, or at least a few minutes, or so for whatever day. I seem to undermine the ease of recalling things, especially ones that I try to capture immediately after experiencing them.

      I’m watching myself play a game, or at least that’s what it seemed at first, where you’re presumed to have to escape from a white dragon that’s hell-bent in killing you with its fangs. There’s a lot of quick time events that entail having to go left and right along with a third person perspective when you reach certain areas that allow this.

      The quick time events mostly involve you being in a first person perspective being capable of crawling through the sewers with ease, but with ominous music playing, and hearing the subtle nuances of the dragon’s breathing, and mode of action as well, it makes the experience horrifying. The white dragon would even declare sardonic statements of how one would be close to his death very soon, and such.

      The overall color scheme within the sewer labyrinth involves green, black, and a swamp-murky gray color, mostly for any water that’s streaming, or standing still. The transitioning from choosing left or right was very fluid, and had the dream-esque quality of weightlessness to it. It almost seemed as if the sewer dungeon itself was tilting, albeit very subtly. Or, it could just be the harsh movements of going left or right, and feeling as if my body is tilting to accommodate for the implication of fluid transitions.

      There were several moments where I was in close contact with the white dragon, but mostly due to me being a bit clever into tricking it into thinking I was at a certain location. I was completely oblivious to the general layout of the sewer labyrinth, and chose left and right in a non-sequential matter.

      Whenever I would partake in events where I visualized myself in a third person perspective with the camera being behind my shoulders, I noticed a sense of urgency to augment my pace in running, as I knew the white dragon would be less restricted in movement as well. I even had the audacity to visually scroll around behind me to see this dragon coming after me, and it was only 20 feet or so away from me.

      For some reason, I felt the environment itself with its ominous setting may have skewed my perception of the white dragon as I would imagine it being just as dark and tyrannical. Though, with a previous quick time event situation where it clamped my body in half, I beg to differ. There’s one event with the third person perspective where I’m inching my way towards the next hole, or entrance to randomly partake in. I’m wearing a shirt/sweater/jacket hybrid of some sort, and the sleeves are rolled up a bit. I’m wearing black pants as we well with some dark shoes; not sure of the exact color, though.

      The space around me seemed more natural than polluted for some reason, and I started to realize that the general layout of what seemed like an ancient sewer was merely the ancient aesthetics being seen as slightly vulgar to me. There was this large green base for the ground that was surrounded by a stream of water going in a circular motion, or being still for some circumstances. The walls were made of a rocky composition, and for some areas, there would be a faint white stream of light above me. But, because of what I felt were my limitations at the time, and the dragon being able to fly as well, I figured having to muster willpower to escape via flying would be futile at best.

      And with this dragon chasing me while I tried to find an end route from this dungeon, I was predisposed into thinking that it was trying to hide something that I could tap into inwardly for whatever purpose to be cherished, I think. It wasn’t the dragon being able to chew, maul, or tear me into pieces that was the issue, but more so having to potentially repeat the whole experience of going through this seemingly grandiose labyrinth.

      It got to the point where I’m almost out of the area, however, the logic of the experience entailed that I had to distract the dragon into going into a large body of water while I would have to land to the left of a nearby cliff that would lead me to wherever. If the dragon comes along with me to the nearby cliff, it would profess that I failed in my escape.

      So, there were several dream equivocations going on with transitioning in and out from this. First, the experience was translated into one where people thought it was some virtual experiential reality that they could treat as a video game. I would even go so far into saying that people would be tempted into making a video game out of it, and I even imagined someone like Markiplier wanting to play it as well. It got to the point where one could acquire a map of the whole ancient labyrinth.

      However, it was more than just simply navigating through the multitude of paths as there were certain switches you had to activate to determine the path you would choose. A lot of the switches, doors, and such were color-coded while the actual paths were mostly a milky gray color. Looking at the map, I could barely find an exit, but I was eventually able to find out since whenever you pressed on the map for certain areas, it would emit an orange trail to one of the exits.

      The two main pairs of switches consisted of a blue and green color. They were outside of the entrance to the labyrinth, and the environment around them had a mélange of high-tech machinery, and the basic composition of nature. It seemed that this area had connotations of a lost technological community along with some stylizations akin to Aztec, Mayans, and what have you.

      People were navigating around this area, and they all varied in existence. Some were children, some were very old, and they all had varied body weights as well. I was fairly skeptical of some that seemed a bit more grandiose in size as it would probably be difficult for them to enter it in the first place. It bothered me that these individuals treated this experience like a video game of some sort, which may have been an autonomous process set out for me to synch with this treatment of the dream.

      But for me, there was something that the dragon wanted to protect militantly. Some people even tried to go at the dungeon only to be reset back to this location with the main switches being pressed or back to their original position. It felt a bit consoling that there was an imaginative collective effort to figure out all of the intricacies of this area because it seemed like a nightmare, especially without the map.

      For some reason, even with the map, I still felt skeptical of planning out my movements because I inferred that there would be some kind of surprise; difficulty wise, pace wise, and such that would make the seemingly pre-determined paths selected equal in mystery.

      There was a point in the dream, or maybe this is another dream altogether that was sequential to this one where I imagined myself near a region that consisted of bars, fast food chains, and a Starbucks. Apparently, one could access the labyrinth via the manholes set out on the roads. I didn’t pay too much attention into wanting to get there through the manholes, but for whatever reason, I guess I was out here for more answers about something that I couldn’t remember.

      I eventually transitioned back into the base of the entrance to the ancient labyrinth, and invested a lot of time looking at the map, and figuring out how I should assess myself should I ever want to go back. I would even visualize myself going through a virtual experiential reality within this virtual experiential reality, ironically, and figuring out when the dragon would appear, and what I would have to do. It made me wonder if I spent most of the dream visualizing this in my head without even going through the labyrinth. And that’s why bothered me the most because if this were the case, for all I know, the actual experience would be something completely different from what conjured up in my head even though this would be experienced within my own cognition.

      The inwardness of the dream diluted the nightmare-like disposition of the experience in general, and became something more like a competitive event even though said implication was in guise of wanting to make it as such to again distract myself from thinking it was a nightmare having to deal with the white dragon; kind of like a self-reflection of how my mind would conceptualize certain events, and utilizing whatever autonomous process to suppress, regress, repress, and such to skew the experience in general.


      Every time I felt tempted to have a go at the ancient labyrinth, I would go back to the same circular process of imagining myself doing so, and being dissatisfied at the end result.
    11. One Last Handshake

      by , 07-31-2015 at 05:16 PM
      Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

      Lucid #2??: One Last Handshake

      I walk down a long hallway to find my dad and my grandfather sitting next to one another at a table next to the top of some stairs. My grandfather passed away over 10 years ago, so I simultaneously feel overjoyed and realize that this is a dream.

      I say, “I want the chance to shake your hand one more time.” He smiles at me. He was in a wheelchair in the years before he died, but now he just stands up and towers over me like he always did. I shake his hand, and hug him. For a moment I have the sensation of hugging him, but soon the visuals vanish into abstract shapes.

      “I want to ask you just one more question,” I say. “Can I do that?” I don’t have anything in mind but for some reason I want to do this.

      “Yes.”

      “What’s your favorite memory of your time in World War II?” A map of the world appears. “Was it your time in Okinawa?” Wait, no, he was never in Okinawa. “Or Pearl Harbor?” He wasn’t at Pearl Harbor. As I name each location big red glowing circles surround different spots on the globe. Other spots light up at random too. I become confused about what I want to ask, now, and the moment slips away.

      Now I’m back at the top of the stairs, and my dad and my grandfather have both vanished. I head down the stairs, trying to think of goals or Tasks of the Month. Nothing comes to mind, so I just wander through a long series of rooms that are decorated in fancy, rather frilly, and outdated ways. I run my fingers along the walls as I go, trying to remember to take my time with the dream and not to rush things.

      I come to a room that looks like a kitchen and there’s a girl of about 12 standing here. She’s talking to someone, a man that I can’t see. The man says, “[Girl’s name]? Is that you? Prince’s little sister?” [Prince, as in the singer!]

      Her: “Yeah, it’s me.”
      Him: “But how are you so young? It was years ago when we fell in love…”
      Her: “Yeah. Isn’t that creepy?”
      Him: “No, I remember…” He says something about how she was much older when he knew her.

      Now I have a false awakening where I’m lying on the ground in an empty parking lot next to a building. I’m still lucid, though, and nearby I see a door into the building labeled “Tony’s Dream Productions!” in fancy script. (This is a reference to Inside Out!) I realize that the man I saw in the previous dream scene is having a nightmare, and I should try to help him out. I mostly think Tony is a DC, but have this strong sense that I should still help.

      I enter the building and find myself on some kind of soundstage with all of these different facades and bits of fake movie scenery. “Tony!” I shout. “This is a dream! That’s not really her!” I keep walking around the soundstage trying to get his attention.

      Finally I see Tony at the top of a set of metal stairs. “I’m dreaming? How do you know?”

      “Because I’m dreaming right now. You are too.” I tell him that I’m sure everything’s fine between him and the girl, and that he was only speaking to a dream character. Soon after I tell him this,
      the dream ends.
    12. Repeat Failure

      by , 06-07-2015 at 02:39 PM (The Dream Magic Experiment)
      I was dreaming about an event that keeps happening. It's like a game where I failed a task and so I have to do it all over again. Something about being caught or something waking up.

      I was looking down at a map and seeing some marker that represents me or us moving on a road from west to east. We reached an area and it zoomed in to the action. We're in a dorm of sorts. I kept failing the task and waking up or being caught. I had to do it all over. I tried thinking how else I can do it where I won't fail.

      I felt anxious.

      ---

      Notes:

      - I was feeling sick. Headache and all, and my body aches due to training in Ninja Academy. It was also awfully hot.
      - Slept for like over 8 hours.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. 10/5/2014

      by , 10-08-2014 at 07:57 AM
      Dream
      Lucidity


      I was in a suburban neighborhood going to a friend's house, who had a Muslim father. We liked each other but couldn't date because her dad had just found out that she wanted to be a Christian. Some sort of earthquake was going to happen so I went to pick up something at a Walmart. Some guy started messing with me and we got in a fight. He pulled out a small little gun and I disarmed him and beat him even more. Security took me in and told me to do a memo on what happened. J. Martinez and R. Granado showed up and helped me, even showing me camera footage of the incident. What happened was nothing like I remembered and I did a lot of references to Frozen while talking to the guy I had fought. I watched a lot of videos of me fighting and I was thinking about dreaming and did a failed reality check. In the room I was with, Megan was sleeping. Megan got up because of some sort of leg pain. I hugged her and asked her if she was ok and told her I loved her since she said it first.
      --------------------------------------------------

      I was in what I knew was my room and somehow realized I was dreaming. I flew up to the top of the building I was in and I started playing with my water magic. I spun in circles embracing the water I conjured. I looked at my hands but no water was coming out, which angered me a little. I flew around the night and jumped off the roof to the ground many stories down, only to do it all over again not once feeling fear or pain. Testing my dream control, I flew through the floor, appearing in the same room I was in. I did the same with the roof of the room. I decided to leave and went back to where I was, looking for a door to teleport me out of the area. For some reason, the first thing that came to mind was a prostitution ring, so that's where I chose to go. Going through a door, that led to a bathroom, I decided to go through the bookshelf and the wall behind it because I knew that would take me somewhere. I walked towards the bookshelf and eventually through it, only to get stuck half-way inside it. I wailed my arms, trying to grab onto something to pull me past the shelf but I told myself "It's all about expectation" and expecting to actually be able to go through the wall, I did, entering a long, dark, scary hallway. I reached for my flashlight, wondering if I even had my duty belt on. I shined my flashlight through the hallway, illuminating the way with a realistic beam. I covered the flashlight halfway, in case there was something on the other side of the hallway that could see the beam.
      Eventually, I came upon a large, empty office room on a high building, with windows that allowed me to see out into the other tall buildings in the city. Looking around, I saw a desk, couch, bookshelf, old TV, and some paperwork. I knew it had to represent something so I yelled out "What does this represent!?" and pointing at the TV, implying that it would turn on and tell me my answer. Instead, the TV turned on and showed a channel with weak signal and static. There was a bag full of money but on the straps holding the money, there were notes that would read in order. The notes were from many different people and I knew one of them was personally from my subconscious, I saw another one that said it was from my pastor. The one from my subconscious stated something about when I was younger. I started worrying about remembering everything when I woke up but kept reading. I saw a map with a list of places but the only one I could remember was 'Rake's, OH' before waking up.
    14. Cheeky Feathered Intrusion

      by , 09-29-2014 at 01:11 PM
      Sitting in my small square white walled room, my best friend and cousin discuss the different countries we've visited while looking at the large map plastered on my wall. There seemed to be red moving markings on it, a animation that showed the routes we travelled. India seemed to be distant and across many seas.
      They soon left, leaving me alone in my room.

      A bag of cheesy chips lay on my desk close to the window. Suddenly a pigeon flew inside and began to peck at the crumbs.
      I tried to shoo it away with a pillow but it kept flying back.Then a large guinea fowl entered. It's large blue and red head towered above the pigeons as it pushed the weaker counterpart aside.
      I approached swiftly, trying to scare them away, but this time the guineu fowl looked directly at me, unafraid, as if he wanted to charge at me.I threw the pillow at him,which he easily shrugged off. He then ran at me with malignant intent,disregarding my size and stature comparatively to his.I was left having to to side step in order to dodge him.
      Crazy bird!
    15. More Parkour

      by , 09-16-2014 at 08:09 AM (The Dream Magic Experiment)
      Yesterday:

      I was in a house or mall. I was taking the parkour workshop. We were supposed to do a flow from one area to another. The catch is that we're blindfolded or we have our eyes closed. I was able to do rolls. cat hangs, etc.

      10:39 p.m.

      I was in a parkour training session. We were traveling from place to place. One place is a mall of sort. One guy was to be the "rabbit" and we were to chase him. I had a skateboard or a mall cart with someone on it. I was supposed to move him as well while chasing the guy. We gave the guy a few minutes then we chased. I think we were supposed to make him wear the shirt or take it off.

      It didn't take long and I was disappointed. I started doing solo. I jumped from ledge to ledge, on the wide stairs, and I did some amazing flow. I went up high on the floors and watched some of the traceurs below. I thought of wearing a disguise, if I was the "rabbit", and walk inconspicuously among them if ever.

      We were going down, sliding and vaulting, the stairs on the way to the train station. I saw my crush down below.

      It was EDSA and it's usually really tight. I was talking/thinking about how to avoid it by taking certain routes on the sides.

      I was seeing the routes at night, quarter-top view. The roads and the lights are visible, but it's mostly dark.

      I was in a motel. I think it was a prize of sorts. Or I was just staying overnight somewhere.

      I was looking down at a map. Trying to figure out where QC is or certain places. There was supposed to be a Tibetan meditation event the next day. Somehow, one of the members needed/wanted to join and was hoping the rest would join as well.

      I was looking at a map of a mountain separating two areas. There's QC. What's the other side? Not clear.

      ----

      NOTES:

      - I went to sleep around 8:20 p.m., hoping to get some shut eye as I was getting really tired. I woke up around 1.5 hours later. I first checked my phone and saw 10:xx p.m. and was surprised. Then I thought it was just the phone. Maybe the time and date reset when it was off. But I though it must be earlier than 5 or 6 a.m. since the alarm hasn't sounded.
      - I opened my computer and saw the time was accurate.
      - Twilight Zone
      - No parkour training last Sunday due to rain
      - Been trying to jump a bit around in the unit.
      - Weird how I kept missing my dream signs (train, mall, crush)
      Categories
      non-lucid
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