Recent DJ Posts

6.8.2023

Once again I jotted down some notes soon after I woke up, but didn’t journal until about 9:00 this evening.

Fragment:

...I’m with someone, or some people. I do a reality check by pinching my nose and breathing. I can still breathe, but I seem to be busy or distracted at the moment and don’t really focus on what I’m doing...

Action and Andromeda

...With the crew of the Andromeda, or at least Tyr Anasazi. He makes some pun. I don’t think it’s all that funny, but I think I laugh politely. Then I make a pun:

“What do you get when you cross a Nietzschean and a Decapod? A perfect 10!”

Tyr doesn’t find it to be funny, but I thought it was rather clever myself.

There is a scene in which someone is selling chocolate covered things. Strange things, I think. I drop a phone into the vat of chocolate, and then act as though I’m going to eat it. The joke here seems to be more about eating something without paying than eating a cell phone. I don’t really do it, I don’t think.

There are some other scenes that I’m having trouble recalling at the moment. I seem to remember this dream being kind of enjoyable, or at least interesting. The following might have been part of it:

We need Donald Trump for some reason. We want to convince him to help us. He seems to be off by himself, and may be reluctant to help us. I suggest that I be the one to talk to him, since I’m more of a conservative and I voted for him in 2016. I go to some construction, kind of like a large dam. There are stairs, and a skywalk, I think. Chains hanging down too, as though to work some machinery. Trump is out on the skywalk, and I rush up the stairs to try and get to him. However, I misjudge which floor he is on and end up on the wrong floor. Someone else gets to him though (Tyr?). I feel like there is something about someone being compared to a guardian angel, and perhaps Tyr is arguing with Trump that he’s not a guardian angel.

Hebrew and Cake

I seem to be on a couch, talking with someone online, or watching something online, in Hebrew. I try to write comments in Hebrew, but I don’t really understand what I’m saying. I copy and paste a phrase that I typed into a Hebrew-English translator online to see if I might have said something inappropriate...There is something about evangelism in the Middle East, or South Asia. There is a map showing where Christianity has spread. I seem to have a job doing something with the line on the map, expanding it northward. Maybe digitizing it on a computer. Then my mother makes a cake, and frosts it to look like the map.

Some Things

This might all have been one dream, so I’ll count it as one.

My brother is sleeping. My family is going to do something, perhaps go somewhere. But he keeps on sleeping, and I start to doubt that we will be going anywhere. I ask my Mom about it, and then decide to go outside for a walk...

...I go into a restaurant. I have a backpack and a shovel (?) with me. I look for a place to set these down while I get food (or do something). I see a little nook in the wall to my right, and think maybe I will set them in there. But then it looks like that might be where people can order, and I don’t want them to be in the way. I look around for a place to sit. The seating in the restaurant is set up like a classroom almost, with things in rows rather than individual tables with space around them. I have a hard time finding somewhere to sit where I won’t be right next to someone – it’s kind of crowded. Then I hear someone call me, and see some people that I seem to know from somewhere. I go over to them and start talking.

...I want to get tickets to a fair. Something about buying them. They are put on a stick, and I put the stick in my shirt pocket...

Phil Lesh is showing me a round trip route on a map. The route is marked in red or yellow and passes through what looks like Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming (possibly including Colorado and Utah). I think it sounds like a fun trip and really consider driving it. He says there are two options through the state at the end - I see the line snaking up the full color topographical map. He says the one way is just small towns and Smith’s (the store) and the other is scenery. His tone makes the small towns sound unpleasant and I think I’d want to go the way with the scenery, envisioning both.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In Romenia, visiting some hospice with a couple friends. We are on a mission to retrieve something that was left behind or kept there in a specific room. We are welcomed by some people who look like retired Hogwart teachers and not doctors. They guide us through a labyrinthic sequence of corridors and strangely low ceiling rooms full of old books and show us a large map on a table, pointing to where the room we are looking for is located. Apparently it is not marked on the map so the mystery persists. We stay for a while until they figure it out. I get bored so I go explore a bit on my own. I take a path that leads me to an exterior passage to another section of the building. It has a wall to my left and 30 mt below is an inner patio with some trees and the access gate from the outside. I enter the next section of the building and start climbing some stairs but there is literally a trap door on the floor in a platform between 2 flights of stairs and I see a greenish light coming through the gaps of the door and I hear growls and bangs on the door. I run away with fear.
I then meet my colleagues at a cafeteria on the patio below but then I sit at one table while they sit at another, because they are meeting some other person and need an available seat. They welcome a fascinating young guy who works there, maybe a doctor or an intern. I watch as they talk and then they point to me and he comes to join me at my table. I see immediately by his style that he is narcissistic and thinks I will fall for his charms right away. I can tell he is used to have the girls at his feet. I am indeed very attracted to him but I play a different game: when he sits and says hello, I just give him a nod and a slight smile of acknowledgement and keep on drinking my coffee kinda ignoring him. While he talks I pretend not to be interested or impressed at all. And I feel like he is actually getting aroused by me being a challenge and also that he suspects that I am playing with him and he is enjoying. He then invites me to go with him inside the halls of the hospice again to show me something and I feel like I will ruin my strategy the minute we walk alone through those corridors. I feel like either him or me will throw the other against the wall and start kissing and neither one will offer resistance.

2nd December 2020

Fragment:

Our street, mixed with a street back in L. Sunny. The L-side had shade from taller buildings. It was generally busy. Dad's mother was there under such a shade and looking at some kind of wall graffiti; I come to her and she sees me and looks surprised to see me, but she seems a bit lost or confused and I try to guide her somehow. I remember having some low level concern that people might think I'm not related at all and that I'm just trying to take advantage of her.

Earlier in the dream, there was a gang of three hooligans or whatever coming up from down the end of our street but then I remember feeling/realising that they were likely just passing through.

3rd December 2020

Dream, fragmented:

An early bit of the dream with an overview/interactive "map" of Wales and England; this so-called map was made of dirt and leaves, which I'm walking on.

3D-like but nonetheless real, leaves were swirling around some locality markers in the West Midlands and near a central point in Wales. It looks like a tornado of leaves is persistently swirling around each one and they seem to overlap in their motions, creating some literal border friction in this sense. I talk with H. I ask in almost rhetoric manner why this can't be sorted out. It looks entirely simple from my point of view, I think.

I use a stick, or something like and try to mark or uncover a border marker for where the Welsh/English border should actually be (as far as I know/can work out) and I manage to get the Welsh leaf tornado to be "sensible" and stick within its remit but the West Midlands tornado refuses to comply and be contained in any sense.

The tornados seemed to represent local governmental authorities responsibilities for picking up recycling and other such waste.

I remember just nearby there's a large tree with bulgy and bulky roots; relative to the map, it's situated just at the very North-most point of the border between Wales and England.

Eventually, the dream moves on or I lose interest and I start looking at some junk nearby. The front of a diesel or electric train? Not sure, but then we were able to enter it from the side or something, and it's a really old house. It's dark and the daylight from outside has that cloudy day/blue tinge that I find characterises days with that weather. I think I'm still with H or another character. I have some special and unique item I traded earlier? I vaguely recall a chiselled stone, lapis lazuli, with a golden ring around some part of it; it has an oblong/obeliskish shape. (I begin to recall a much earlier bit?)

I'm at an apartment. It's a single room and it's no bigger than my old room. There's a girl here, I have the impression I'm a girl too but I don't check in any way. This girl has a pony tail and a sharp face, she looks about 20 or so. I need something from her but she's unwilling to trade; I can't recall any of the dialogue.

Eventually she walks up to the window and I kick her out; she falls several stories and I take the item somehow (was it in the flat?) and this item is one of nine or something which I need for my quest. In the flat, I notice she had some kind of modern CRT TV. For some reason, I give the screen a knock with my right hand knuckles and it resonates slightly.

I am now downstairs immediately outside the apartment building. There's a crowd and police. I'm on the phone or something and this person I'm working with tells me to remain calm and that they've taken care of everything (male voice?). A big white man is out here and he distracts the crowd, shouting and announcing that he did it, he'd killed this girl. He has medium-length hair curls of a fair colour.

I go through and past the crowd and there's some advanced cyber police of sorts. They have egg shaped hover drones, no bigger than a fist, and red scanners. They are doing forensic scans of everyone leaving the area and internally I feel concerned but I keep going and stop when asked to; they find nothing in their scan, to my relief. I continue through a street with tall buildings, it's night time, I feel? Deus Ex (classic) feel to the area here. I look at my phone and read debates about cannibalism, for some reason. One state in the USA had apparently had it as something legal for a very very long time (hundreds of years). I hear people nearby but don't look or pay attention to them.

I reach a small building. It is modern but dilapidated; all the glass is missing or broken. It's dark outside and the odd part is I recall no sky at all. I go inside this building and go up a semi-spiralling staircase. It's brighter in the top floor. There's a curtain or something. (This dream memory starts to get mixed with the other one)

I have traded all the unique and special items at some point, I don't recall with whom. Now, I have a dulled copper-y looking signet ring; I hold it in my palm and I also have a small bag made from untreated leather, of a tan colour. I open the bag and from inside I take out a live miniature Japanese racoon or something, which fits on my palm. It doesn't move much, but I hold it up to a white and bright fluffy ceiling; it yelps and sniffs as I move it around the room; I intuitively understand it's detecting something, to allow me passage from this otherwise dead-end octagonal room.

Then, behind the curtain is a door. i can open it because of the signet ring, I think. I try to close it behind me as I hear voices nearing and think I shouldn't let them follow me.

(the recall becomes too mixed)

All else I remember is a view of some train with people I know being inside it, laser rifles shooting from inside and outside the train, at each other, as the train passes through a platform. It's night-time. I have vague recall of being somewhere, waiting, and some of my aunts and my mom are there; they are complaining between themselves for some reason and I remember something about a Nazi man visiting and demanding something.

I can't remember the dream scene but at some point I was walking and the dream looked very real and the idea came about that this was a dream, and I thought 'no that can't be true... wait is it?' and then I realized it was a dream and the dream exploded into vividness. The dream was a bit dark so I shouted "clarity now!" but the dream sort of warped, it reacted but did not necessarily light up, I was at the KC pool and a girl stepped backwards into me and was leaning on me.

At another point I went lucid again and was in a room on the floor looking up at someone on a bed, I started rubbing my hands together to try to get the dream to stabilize. I looked up at the person and said 3x3 is 9, 4x4 is 16 and they just sort of looked at me, the dream suddenly went very blurry and crashed.

I was in my bed on my back looking up, I was in that in between state where my body was stiff but I could move, I felt my left kidney tensing up and it was very uncomfortable, this happened a few times and then it switched to SP, I was in my bed and the room went dark, I didn't think I was going into another lucid, I suddenly thought 'Okay so this is when I astral project... astral project!" and I tried to will myself into getting out of my body but it didn't budge.

I also had a non-lucid earlier where I was in a house, everything felt off, it felt like I was alone there. My vision turned to an interactive overview map of a beach resort, my friends' faces were icons on different parts of the map, I felt like I hadn't been invited but then my face icon popped up at a location and I thought I had now been invited. Back in the house I needed to get ready, the upstairs seemed like an unfinished attic. A rat ran up to me and I thought that I didn't want to be sleeping and have a rat near me. I went downstairs and in my mind if felt like a very intricate basement that went deep into the ground, again it felt like I was alone, I went down into the basement through a hallway into a room and I could see a rat casually hop into the room and look at me. I felt strange and decided I needed to get out of there as the place felt haunted and I felt like it was going to be a struggle to find my way back upstairs, I walked backwards in order to keep my eye on the room, I could see another smaller room attached to the room lit up by itself.

I was in the house and realised that I was dreaming again. This was the third dream of the night but I had not ben able to get out of the house because I was distracted. This time i had set the goal of exploring and flying around. So this time I got out and found I was in the back yard of the 5 acer house. So I ran twards the back yard. I jumped up and phocused on the wind and felt it flowing around me and I flew up and by phocusing on the direction and wind currents I was able to fly up. I flew above the clouds and saw a map like a game map but real. It had like the fog of war on the land. I was able to tell there were 4 buildings placed at the heart tips of a heart shaped 4 leaf clover. I had come from the north leaf. About 30 mi from the sandstone asteck pyramid. That leaf was to my left and to my right was the south leaf and on its lower right heart bump was a brown desert with rocks and a carnival. Later I learn that lucidity is kept difrently or rewarded difrently in each leaf. In the lower it was an pvp rpg system where you got rewards for exploits. There was lucidity packets and rewards that could help you phisicaly (odd but it seems to be a recurring theme in my dreams stuf there can give you wealth in a certain aspect or talent in skills). Later when I saw a rich person's house where I apparently went to perform a counsltashion for the mother who married a non natural lucid man and where wondering about how to make him more natural at it. Theas people were rich and they had paid for a stairway to heaven. This was basically where they built their steps to cultivate lucidity. This was built with tiles that interlock that had difrent gradients and give. Basically to make yo pay a certain type of attention when walking the stairs. Every step was difrent.

I am looking at a map. It looks similar to Reno Sparks, but it looks like there’s another freeway parallel to 395, creating more of a square than a cross. I zoom in? towards the top of this other freeway, and it looks like there’s a road that branches off and up into a small valley. I see a symbol for a river or a waterfall and a lone building below it. I think it is a cafe or something similar that is supposed to be good. I like the idea of getting up out of a town a little, and now I am at this spot. It is secluded, empty, and peaceful. I can tell there is water a ways up that I think has been diverted so this long, low, white building can exist. The surrounding slopes are fairly steep and slightly vegetated. I can still see Mt. Rose in the distance, dusted with snow, from a perspective I’ve never had before.

The dream begins in large building of indefinite function—mostly a large, open space with various rooms branching off, somewhat like a mall, although it doesn’t have the feel of one. At one point, I enter one of these rooms. It’s filled with plush toys of various kinds. On top of one cabinet is a series of small narwhals. One of them is gray and fuzzy, with a string going around it. On it are a few metal beads with letters on them spelling out a name. It’s exactly like one my friend Nina made for me when we were children, and it occurs to me that seeing it here can only mean one thing: I’m dreaming.

I walk back out into the larger room, where I take a look around. The floor is made up of black and white tiles in a checkerboard pattern. I could have some fun with that. In response to my intention, the black tiles glow red, blue, a whole series of bright colors in succession. Then I decide to change things more dramatically. I simply intend for the floor to change, not specifying how, and in response, it shifts into an abstract pattern, tendrils of color curved across a white background, made out of smaller tiles than before—like a mosaic. They’re predominantly salmon pink with subdued green, as well as tiles in darker colors, which give the patterns depth and contrast.

Looking across the large room, I see a wall of glass windows. Beyond it, the sky is visible, and a bit of the landscape below, as if this place is located somewhere high up. Some people are gathered out on a landing on the other side. I decide I’ll go over there next. But the floor is changing again: this time, into blues, greens, yellows, touches of orange. It’s a map now—specifically, a topographical map. I didn’t do that.

Rather than heading over to the windows, I examine the new floor. There are words written over locations, like they would be on an actual map, but there seems to be more written here than just names. However, the language is an unfamiliar one—possibly Spanish. But, I think, that shouldn’t be a problem for the place names since those tend to stay much the same between languages.

I am standing over the part showing the Aegean Sea. The island directly in front of me is labeled 'Mykonos'—and memory tells me (and Google confirms once I’ve awakened) that it does indeed have that island’s distinctive shape. I look over near the Turkish coast, but the islands there don’t match up nearly as well. They don't even seem to be the same islands at all. I look around various areas of the map until I wake up.

22.5.19

I am doing an escape room with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. This place looks like an actual house, with a few rooms that we can go into. The house seems very tidy and sort of minimalistic, though not without adornments, and has an antiquated feeling to it, as if lived in by an older person. I get the sense of some sort of travel theme, aided by a huge map of the world taking up almost a whole wall. We are trying to escape now, and it seems like I’m doing a lot of it. It’s not that they aren’t or can’t, it’s just that I can excel in a small group of familiar people. I end up moving a bunch of hanging paintings. One has a clue written in red ink on its back side. Many reveal a tiny, circular light bulb protruding from the wall behind. I imagine that these will all light up later and serve as a clue one way or another. I like that the clues flow easily, even if somewhat too easily, and aren’t disjointed. I had moved a small realistic painting of a brown bear (the bear on a slight incline, seemingly in motion, very realistic, and cropped fairly close). One clue mentioned something ‘dreary’, which we noticed with some excitement was referencing a very large and impressionistic painting of people that looked dreary indeed. (*As I write this, I think it may have been moving this painting that revealed the map). I think we are supposed to place small pins in certain spots on the map. The map is now gone? and there are just little holes in the white/tan wall. There seems to be three different clusters of holes, and I think the pin needs to be placed in the correct hole. Melissa guesses the first placement correctly, after which a recorded voice from a speaker tells us we’ve gotten it correct. We try the other ones but never get a response. I end up telling our situation the female employee on the other end of the radio. She’s quiet for a second and then I hear her say to someone else “I have no idea.” I also don’t really know what there is for them to do when a piece of the game simply isn’t working. At this point, I’m thinking we’ll just have them tell us the answers to this part. I also notice that Melissa and Brooke seem to be off doing something else. I hear them talking and laughing in another room. Then it becomes more quiet, and I go look. Melissa is laying in a small bed in an alcove in the wall just big enough for it. I notice a gap between the far and the wall along the head of the bed (which is reminiscent to me of the sleeping quarters on a boat). Melissa looks grumpy, her face sort of flushed and pouting, her gaze diverted. I go to kiss her but she moves so that we kiss each other on the cheek instead. At this point, I notice that her eyes are a little misty. I was what’s wrong and she keeps saying nothing, etc. I finally get it out of her that she’s upset that the puzzle room is not working as it’s supposed to. It irritates me because it’s such a trivial thing to let yourself get upset over. I go back into the other room now, and I don’t think we even have radio contact with this girl. She said she was going to call the shoe room? This room is behind the other. There’s a writing desk and an old corded phone that I see but never hear. While waiting, I start opening drawers, but find nothing. I’m wondering how much further this puzzle room will go into the house. I notice a bathroom and a room or two off of this one. I never do hear the phone. Earlier, I noticed a timer with a green ‘70’. I thought that meant we were doing really well on time.




I am at Walmart? with Melissa, buying only two things. We are at the end of what is apparently the only line, behind a family of four that looks nice enough but also a little privileged. The woman notices how we only have two items and offers for us to just throw it in with their stuff. I was going to use a gift card, and I’m not sure how much is on it exactly, so I’m not sure how that’d work.




I am outside of a grocery store. I run up to the entrance, pushing a cart, and ask the younger looking boy employee if they do valet, with an absurd touch of humor. I then leave the cart and run inside to retrieve what I’ve forgotten.




I am watching (on the news or some kind of video?) cars driving in both directions on a freeway through a snowstorm. Someone is commenting on how it’s almost been the worst winter when, sure enough, a car starts to drift and ends up impacting a school bus. Then school bus then takes out another vehicle and the whole thing exponentiates into an event that just made it the worst winter to date.

Morning of November 10, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,954-02. Reading time: 2 min 26 sec. Readability score: 66.



I am looking at a map of the island of Sulawesi (Celebes) with its very unusual shape. I notice an isolated fictitious town with the name of “Core” that is otherwise where Central, West, and South Sulawesi meet. There are mostly only native inhabitants there. I project my dream self into the map to create the foundation of my dream. I decide I will play the role of introducing new opportunities and resources to the region.

At one point, I mentally create diced pineapples in a bowl and the tribal leader enjoys them. I reassure him that I will only allow a few tourists to come to the area only during certain time periods and that I will have my team clean the region on a regular basis.

At another point, several soldiers, all in black, come to occupy the area. I mentally create an army that comes in from a ship and wipes them all out.

I decide to go on a journey to Los Angeles. An unfamiliar backpacker asks if he can go with us, and I say yes. I enjoy the idea of a random dream denizen (almost as if I see him as “real” or having perception) being on my ship in my dream. Although the trip is supposed to last several days, we arrive there within minutes. I try to make the ocean waves more interesting. In the distance, there seem to be huge “curtains.”

I alter the nature and progression of my dream with the intent of increasing my dream state awareness. I create rain to sustain and vivify my dream to astounding levels (as water and its specific dynamics has always been a natural melatonin factor of the dream state). The weight and coolness of the water is incredibly realistic. I slowly fly in standing position above an unknown town in semidarkness. I marvel at the pleasurable sensations of the rain that falls upon my skin and the realistic, vivid sound of rain all around me. I fly slowly over a small canal with culverts on each end.

I eventually land and bring out the sun. I walk down a wooden sidewalk and notice the nexus simulacrum (personified preconscious) going through a doorway built adjacent to the building on my right but of which goes to the intersection, but I mentally force him to turn around. I ask him, “What is your name?” He looks puzzled and in a hurry. “What is your name?” I ask him two more times, in case there is an interconsciousness thread present.

I maintain the expectation that the nexus simulacrum may have a level of transpersonal intelligence that may not originate from my dream self.

He answers with “Dennis Sunimun.” I let him leave, as he seems late for a business meeting. Still, “Dennis” is the name of my brother and “Sunimun” is an obvious distortion of “sunny man.” I was hoping for something more, evidence of intelligence beyond my own, which has been present in certain previous dreams.

I reset my dream, with the possibility I will wake myself, but I end up in an offset dream of lesser vividness. Still, I make my way to a library to write down the event. I walk through midair, about ten feet above the street, with a few random people.

In the library, I read handwritten details in a notebook. I write “Dennis Sunimun” several times, but when I look each time, I am not sure if it is clear enough to carry over into my conscious memory and I try writing it again. Finally, I go into another area of the library and walk out with my family.

---

Non-dream stuff - woke up only at roughly 10:20 again and had to answer the door as well. Was having a weird non-lucid, but quite many details lost.

---

Dream:
In the first half of this sequence there were twisty roads down a forested mountain; it was a pine forest. Then I remember seeing a digital map, with a few roads going to a specific place that was being highlighted.

Then I remember me and my partner were in the car but I could see through third-person view and we were getting on a motorway suspended over the ocean and we were speeding; there was at least one truck and a few other cars as we got on the motorway and then it sort of curved for a little bit, before we started going quite fast and the road went straight again, and it turned into aggressive ups and downs (with inclinations greater than 40 degrees). It was night and in the distance there was a sunset, in the horizon, where the road seemed to go.

Then, a cavernous-like place, with dim red light, this was where the map was highlighting before; this was like some nexus point between dimensions, and there were some creatures that chased me, or perhaps more accurately followed me, since they weren't energetically chasing after me. At the end there was a room. A mostly square room, with a skylight, and a door that shut behind me, which I remember looking at; it was a wooden door and it had 3 things like badges or medals hanging off it. I remember they were a dark blue colour.

The skylight took up a large area of the ceiling and some sort of daylight came through, as if it was a cloudy day. This room was the actual nexus, it was somehow implied to me during the dream. Then next to where I was in the room, there was a counter to the right and on it was a miniature dresser, and on that, a black cat's head. The head was alive, simply disembodied, and spoke or something. But the cat was mean somehow, and for some reason I remember rubbing my elbow on the cat's face, watching it do those amusing faces when cats don't like something.

Some part of the dream related to this nexus repeated itself.

---

Notes:

• Because I remember so little detail, the most impressive thing from the dream was perhaps the room with the skylight.
• There were only two doors in that room, one being the one I entered from, and another being on the wall to the left. While the room was square or rectangular, it had a sort of cut at the far right corner, like for a pillar.
• There were other things atop that counter the cat was also on, but I can't remember them. The middle of the room was empty, as I remember seeing most of the daylight on the floor.
• I'm not sure what the (waking) context is for this room and its contents. The cat head is probably the most bizarre thing I've dreamed recently, and simply because I have no context whatsoever for its appearance.
• The context of the suspended motorway and the roads is probably from playing a bit of Fallout last night. I always like the suspended highway lanes in the game universe.
• The cavern's context is probably also from last night, because the last thing I did in the game was go around hunting Deathclaws, which usually live in highly radiated areas, and sometimes dark caves.
• The pine forest reminds me of the greatwood forest I saw when I was in California some years ago.

I remember more dreams today than yesterday.

☆ School. Teacher hating on me for not being or acting like the other students. Got some things to do but threw them away in a bin and kept on working with my own project. Highly disliked by the teacher tho.

☆ Fighting with other girls for survival. My opponent knew everything about me but I didn’t know anything about her except for being from the ancient Rom.

☆ Gave all my christmas things to my little sister so she could take care of next christmas without me. She wanted to make a change and I didn’t really like it but accepted it.

☆ A man that was a good salesman but he wasn’t on the right side of the law. He took drugs and shit but was a really nice man. His skillz was amazing with selling things. I was really impressed.

☆ A map with flowers on it instead of rivers and no names written.

I am looking at a map that must be on a computer (it looks like Google Earth) with Melissa. I start zooming in on Nevada, and we can start to see streets and buildings while the whole country is still in frame. I continue zooming, trying to pull the northwest portion into focus. There is a street that seems to transverse just about the whole state. As I get closer, lines of houses along the road pop onto the screen. Some of them are in pairs, facing each other and diagonal to the road. Melissa says something about it being by her neighborhood. I scroll a little to the left, and we see on the map an image of someone walking. I get closer, and we see that it is Melissa. She is wearing her work smock. I think this must’ve been when she was still walking to work (She never has, though).



I’m outside in a back or side yard? seated in chairs with Dad, Jon, and another. We are talking about beer; Jon mentions a [some flavor: peach?] ale. I think it sounds good. It is dim/dark out.



There is some type of long and thin dock. At the end of it, I have dropped something into the water. It is deep, but not too deep - 10 feet? It is cold though, so I wouldn’t want to submerge myself. I end up prodding some pole down and only needing to extend my arm into the water a little bit to retrieve this blue mop head?

Date of Dream: TUE 29 NOV - 2016



Dream No. 76 - Am I Seeing Double?

The place mainly featured in this dream was called Killester but it actually resembled Camelot Rise more than it did Killester. So what I remember first is that there were actually two of me! We know that dreams are typically played out in first-person mode and the person in this mode was indeed me... But only one of me. The "me" that was in first-person mode was the one from the real waking life, I was visiting this so called Killester while on my travels through the dream world.

As I was at Killester, I came across Dreamy Mr H but he was looking at me strangely. This is actually where I come to the realisation that there was another one of me, my dreamy clone. He's going something like this, "Karla, I thought you were going somewhere. What are you doing here?" and that's when I said "I wasn't going anywhere but Dreamy Mr H is still in doubt. I then tell him, "I'm not the Karla you think I am". I actually originate from the Earthly dimension" and that's when he gets a look of massive shock and amazement.

I think the dream then skipped to Dreamy Karla's perspective (note, she is not in first-person mode and I can actually see her when the dream camera is in her scene). So what's going on is that Dreamy Karla is speaking to Dreamy WB's little sister, Dreamy LB. By what was going on, apparently Dreamy LB was due for her check-up at the dentists, or at least Dreamy Karla thought so. I thought that Dreamy Karla would be a lot more humble than I am... But she spoke in exactly the same way, using some slang and an extremely Aussie accent.

She said to Dreamy LB, "Let's go for a nice drive in my ute. I know a good dentist that's about one and a half hours away. Dr C (I've forgotten her complete name), she's really good). Dreamy Karla could see the fear in Dreamy LB eyes, so she added "Dr C knows what she is doing. I've been there so many times and she's so patient and gentle in what she does". Then when we're sitting in the ute, Dreamy LB tells me that she has this text on her phone, something about someone else going to take her in her own time. That's when Dreamy Karla asks her "When's the last time you had a check up?" and she replies "February". After a short pause, Dreamy Karla says "And it's November now. Come on, let's go, it's not gonna hurt ya". And so Dreamy LB gives a little sigh with an "Okay Karla".

Before they drove off, there was just one more thing that Dreamy Karla had to do. She goes to Dreamy LB "Now, we don't want others to see where we are going. So I'm just going to deformat this map and then we can head off". A zoomed camera projection of the map showed with the location point in red and the roads in grey. So with the power of the mind only, Dreamy Karla moved the red point off to the right of the map a bit but what she didn't was also the roads being manipulated. Still, she and Dreamy LB got started then the dream faded from that scene.

What it did fade to was back to my perspective. I was walking towards one of the gates and what's when I see Dreamy WB. As I was only visiting the dream world, I was amazed... The comparison with the Earthly WB was phenominal. So I approach Dreamy WB, saying to her "Oh wow, you're so much more beautiful than the real WB". Dreamy WB looked extremely slim and curvy and was wearing a dark denim jacket on top of a black/really dark navy pencil dress. When I said that comment to her, she didn't really say anything, only making some sounds of appreciation. Over the fence, she hugged me long and hard, it was like 10 - 15 seconds before she let go.

The dream then skipped to the time-frame that Dreamy Karla and Dreamy LB had gotten back from the dentist but there was also someone else who went with them. A friend of Dreamy Karla's, Dreamy KH, decided she wanted to keep them company. I was walking around the block of this certain area that resembled the suburb of my old house but then there was this open space up ahead and in that open space somewhere, was a large van. I had suspicions about that van... I thought that van was once Dreamy Karla's ute, just by the way it looked. I stepped inside and it actually looked like the interior of a house!

Now this is going to sound weird but it felt like Earthly Karla's character no longer existed from this point on, or if it did, she (being I) rarely spoke. Although I was in the house-truck, the dream would only focus on Dreamy Karla's perspectives. Actually, hang on a sec... I was the one being weird! I was actually the one putting the house up for sale on Dreamy Karla's behalf... But I was making out like the house was mine and not hers.

Okay, back to what was actually happening. I was giving the commentary to Dreamy Mr H and Dreamy Ms A, along with their kids but these kids are not their kids in real life. They were two stranger kids of whom I know nothing about in the Earthly dimension. One very interesting feature of the house were these oddly shaped pillars that could come down as a decoration or space divider. Each time they came down, they were a different colour and a different shape. After a few times of the pillars going up and down, I woke up.

This dream was what I recalled this morning following the intention: My intention for tonight is first and foremost to wake up and remember my dreams. Secondly I feel like I am approaching a cross-roads and I feel uncertain about where to place my efforts, so I would be thrilled with some assistance from my dreams in this respect. But foremost I trust my dreams and want to remember whatever they bring. It feels as if it is relevant somehow and I will use it as an opportunity to practise both descriptive evocative writing as well as Jungian interpretation methods.

I am pondering the idea of going to Mexico, which appears much as you perceive a fantasy or mnemonic ideation in the waking state – the incipient sense of an image, a map perhaps, appearing before my inner eye.

I direct my attention outwards and find myself in the passenger seat in Steen's silver-grey car, although I am inside the car I can clearly see the matte nuance of the silver grey colour on the outside of the car. My dad is in the back seat, and he seems gleeful and excited though he doesn't say or do much during the dream. We are going on a trip, and my dad and Steen are there helping me out, as it is mainly me going on a mission.

It is pouring down outside, it is clouded and grey, which produce a darkish hue. We are at a ticket office, which resembles a mixture between a gas station and a junk food drive in. There are two protruding window tills on our right hand side and above an almost square section of roofing is covering the pavement next to the windows, providing some cover for the rain outside.

We drive slowly towards the first of the two window tills – one for ordering another for picking up the tickets – and as we do I feel something bump into the car towards the back, which also produce a mild audible thump. I look out the window and backwards to see if Steen has accidentally hit one of the massive concrete columns extending from the building. He is really close but I can't see any damage done to the car.

I lean back in and Steen switches on the radio and the GPS system. The audio-scape is flooded with remnants of old mobile conversations, radio clatter and noise. I feel uneasy and a bit confused, as it is supposed to be a GPS system, providing guidance. Steen remains rather calm and composed and simply asks the GPS if it is there, and it dawns on me that it is a voice activated system.

“I am here” a clear loud and direct female voice responds, which is a tremendous reassurance.

Steen proceeds to drive forward and I wonder why I don't have to open the window to get the ticket. “It isn't necessary when you have one of these” he says and points to a rectangular electronic device, with an old school digital display in the bottom right corner of the front window, just in front of me as it would seem. It is essentially a device that registers that he has been here and automatically charges him for the ferry ride, which is what the ticket office is for.

“So we are going to Iceland” he says, and I feel at first excited, but then a bit concerned because we will be sailing and we are supposed to go to either Mexico or the Faeroe Islands as well today and I am afraid we won't have time. I think about this only briefly before relinquishing the thought at aspiration to do all of these things.

We look at a map and a black marker line appears that takes us from the ticket office “to Odden” which on the map is a full scale island, elongated and egg shaped except for a very pointed en on the right hand side. The black line takes us to the top and centre of the island, where the port town is based, from where we will board the ferry to Iceland.

End of dream.

In this interpretation I will start by breaking down the dream into its constituent motifs, and run free associations on them.

There is a preceding map, an idea of a journey – which implies a plan and a set destination it also represents an overview of a trip, which can symbolise knowledge of where I am going in life. This is particularly salient as I am taken somewhere else than what I had “mapped out”, which excites me although the expectation of having to go somewhere specific within a given time frame becomes a source of frustration and tension/restlessness.

The car is a solid and large station car, it is silver grey – the colour symbolising the silver grey snake-like pathway through space I frequently perceive in meditation, cannabis and psychedelic states also symbolising the spiritual cord often reported as seen in OBEs.

The car is a symbol of my body, it is in good shape and the fact that my dad has been relegated to the back seat can be an expression of our recent confrontations and my insights on how he has dominated the development of my low self-esteem though his parenting style. He is now put in the back seat, representing that I still carry him with me and care for his approval and love, yet this aspect is no longer the driving motivating psychic energy for my aspirations for life – such as “save the world and become super famous”, which is simply a conditioned tendency I have developed as I felt under appreciated and unseen as a child.

Steen is an old friend of the family, both my mum and dad – I associate to him that he recently helped me out with cheaply renting his summer house to me following an Ayahuasca journey where I wanted to stop smoking and I didn't feel for returning to my parents' house where I currently live right after. At this time he said to me that he sees how my dad communicates to people and told me that one would get insane living in that environment constantly, which felt extremely pleasant to hear as someone external with knowledge of my dad seemed to understand how hard it can be. Recently my mother expressed – in a sober state – that it can be extremely challenging for her to live in that and that friends of the family finds it a challenge to be around him as well. With Steen in the driver's seat I feel that I have taken a step towards taking control of my life and am grateful for the moral support of individuating myself from my dad, who has – without fault of his own or even consciously – dominated much of my life, through establishing uncertainty both with regards to a fragile self-esteem but also the messianic and grandiose drive to save the world to finally be worthy of his admiration and love. Steen represents a new found aspect of myself that is compassionate and understanding towards why I have turned out as I did as well as the drive to liberate myself from the clutches of my dad.

The rain outside symbolise a torrential state of affairs with regards to my emotions – since my last Ayahuasca journey it is as if a lid has been removed and my libido is now coursing freely upwards, which result in more passionate responses and an easier time setting boundaries. It could also symbolise the fact that I am expending a lot of emotional energy in response to external uncontrollable aspects of the world, which is reminiscent of the saviour complex alluded to earlier.

The ticket office could symbolise a public institution, such as the Health Authorities which I have recently been in contact with, with regards Ayahuasca. I might be approaching, or at least that is how I perceive it, a point where I am close to getting in trouble due to my enquiries, yet no harm is done yet. The whole point of issuing a ticket could represent my thinking on Ayahuasca's precarious legal status and potentially in the future thinking of a license model for practising, where the dream hints at that license is nothing that comes from the outside but an internal license, a calling (electronic ticket system).

The GPS and radio system is particularly interesting to me. The clatter represents conditioned thinking and the attention I pay to outward clues for finding out how to direct my life. However when I look closely the “ancient mother” (female GPS voice) is there and is capable of taking me in the direction I need to go. The trick is to ask and learn to listen for what is coming from within and ignore restrictions I put on myself based on external sources of esteem and approval.

The fact that I am concerned with the duration of the trip represents a problematic aspect of how I relate to life in an impatient way. I am lacking trust in life unfolding as it is supposed to. This is related again to the map I saw in the beginning of the dream, which representative of how I tend to construct expectations of how life SHOULD unfold and I am operating under an assumption that I need to go somewhere specific and I need to go there quickly. In essence this result in an escapist approach to life, where I am not allowing it to unfold on its own terms and cannot fully embrace and meet events in a curious, compassionate and open way.

The end of the dream I see the ocean and the beach sort of imaginatively overlapped onto the map with the black line. I take it to symbolise that I am still in the process of letting go of my tendency to construct expectations and narrow definitions of success, but I will shortly arrive at a position where I let go and let Life overcome me and simply concede to the abrupt changes that are about to happen, with excited anticipation and joy in letting whatever happens happen. The fact that it is a sailing trip could represent a recognition of the potent force of the collective unconscious, and my submitting the stubborn fantasy that I am in control and surrendering to the collective collected wisdom of the evolution of Life itself.

Reconstructing the meaning from associated and elaborated ideas.

So a potential message from the dream could be that I am still constructing expectations of where and how life should take me. This becomes a source of frustration when I run into unexpected opportunities and twists of fate.

My dad has been a source for grandiose and messianic ideation, due to his belittling and command-like style of communication, from where he will never explain why he commands, reminds, reprimands, but simply asserts himself in a supercilious tone of voice. Since we have widely different interests in life and he has proclaimed that he has no interest (or capacity) in trying to understand me I have since very early childhood developed these tendencies as a way to garner his approval, which is already there he has just never shown it in a way I could understand it when younger. The fact that he is relegated to the back seat symbolise that I am relegating the grandiose and very ambitious saviour identities – and associated expectancies – to a position where they are no longer “driving me”.

The downpour contrasted with the comfortable, sturdy and undamaged quality of the silver grey car, can symbolise the progress I am making with meditation, where I have found an easier time dealing with painful emotions, as well as physical symptoms. They aren't allowed to penetrate to my core and when I continue the exercise I will strengthen my capacity to sift out the “radio clatter” (which can also signify the attribution of value to others' judgement of me) and listen to the voice of my heart, represented here by the Anima archetype, my deity in prayer – Mother Gaia.

The ticket office close call could symbolise that I need to tone down my activities with certain authorities to avoid getting in trouble, especially because I already have an inner license to pursue my dreams.

The trip to Iceland represents where I am headed next, which isn't a literal journey, although that might be fun also. In fact it might be very useful as it is Steen guiding me, which could mean a pointer to a place of safe haven, which he provided following my last Ayahuasca journey. However I have also recently considered reading up on mythology to get a better understanding of the empirical data that underpins the theory of the archetypes. This journey serves as a pointer towards examining Nordic mythology and shamanistic/divination cultural history.

In short. With particular reference to the intention here I am being reminded that uncertainty is OK, cause if I try and envision or anticipate a direction I will form an expectation, which will lead to suffering when life takes me elsewhere. As long as I listen to my inner voice the direction is guaranteed, so I should just continue the work of being better at letting go of old ways of thinking and sharpen my attention on what matters instead of the clatter. Then a further dive into the Nordic mythology is in store.