Recent DJ Posts

I'm in a bombed-out bus that's been converted into a trolley that is currently being used as a taxi cab in what looks like 60's-era Vietnam in Full Metal Jacket. I'm having a lot of trouble communicating with the other passenger seated across from me that I don't understand Vietnamese. But I happen to speak Taiwanese, and by Dream Logic, I realize that the two languages are only two steps removed from each other, and are close enough that we are now able to have a conversation. This sequence fades before we can talk, though.

Now I'm hanging around my actual house. I'm watching an NBA game while also playing a video game on my tablet. I focus on the TV, and I recognize LeBron James (Heat), Vince Carter (Raptors), Yao Ming (Rockets -- I'm not watching an All-Star game, and yes, the timing is off, for those who follow sports); and when an on-screen "who's on the court now" graphic flashes, one of the forwards is Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show. Yes, Saul Goodman is somehow holding his own against a bunch of NBA superstars from the 2000's. I will pay money to watch this happen in real life.

I focus on my tablet, and the game I'm playing is World of Warcraft-esque, but now that I focus on the game, I'm transported into the game as an actual character. I'm in a dungeon, a lot like DOS-era Prince of Persia with a lot of stairs winding up in right angles. There is a platform in the middle that holds the sacred... Block of Cheese. Um.

ANYWAYS, a rival wizard is nearby, and I have to prevent him from getting to that cheese before me. But he is more powerful than I am, and in a bid to stall for time, I taunt him and engage him into a belching contest. Just for the record, I am not this crass in person. I briefly turn into Eric Cartman for this contest. I burp a poisonous green gas, while the other wizard burps fire. When our burps collide, it causes an explosion. We keep one-upping each other until finally, the wizard gets really frustrated (I think it's because he's had enough of such childish antics. I know I would've been). Instead of going after the cheese, he teleports next to me, fully intent on destroying me. It's at this time that I got a good look at him, and he resembles Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python. He has his arms raised to annihilate me.

But ah ha! I'm not a wizard. I'm a goddamned Paladin, and as he realizes that he made a mistake of coming within melee range, I catch him in a sticky trap (mocking him in Cartman's voice again) and proceed to pummel him like a punching bag. At one point of my overly-violent behavior, I actually visualize me punching the punching bag in my gym, FPS style, and even pause so I can look at my movelist like I'm in Street Fighter. I wake up.

I'm the worst Paladin ever.

(fragment: college lottery)
My father chooses which of his children will go to college (me or one of my two dream siblings) by making us choose an envelope. One contains a college acceptance letter; the others contain rejection letters/bundles of sticks?

Billy
There is a recurring character named Billy. This person is either an old woman who dies alone in an old mansion (a family friend--friend of my dream mother, who's dead?) and who I regret never getting to know when she was younger and of sound mind; or a young mentally disabled boy (my cousin) that I've never met and have no desire to meet. I'm in my old house in Lancaster (on Main St.) and Billy (boy version) is coming over w/aunt G. I have the idea that he is going to see one of the upstairs bedrooms because he hasn't been privileged to see an upstairs bedroom in the past, and there's the idea that doing so will confer some sort of magical benefit. I'm in the upstairs bathroom, which is just down the hall from my room, washing my hands. I yell to aunt G to just take him into my room for a second--my room is messy, but it doesn't matter; the point is that she'll see there's no actual magic involved. She yells back something about how no, it's not that, it's that the Department of Education passed a new rule mandating that kids like Billy be allowed _______ (something I don't remember). As I wash my hands I accidentally get a sheaf of paper wet--it's a travel itinerary from Delta Airlines with my name on it.

[skip] Downstairs (still in the Lancaster house) I'm trying to call the airline to ask why my grandfather's flight has been delayed. Actually, I already know why it was delayed: the flight was canceled and not auto-rescheduled by airline. However, the cancellation had generated an abnormal error message and the airline had apparently tried to call me three times, using three separate phone numbers, to tell me what the problem was--so I just want to hear their side of the story out of idle curiosity. I soon regret the call, though. The conversation starts out OK but devolves quickly as the airline agent seems to be unable to understand what I'm saying. Eventually I hear soundbites of Billy over the phone--he is very, very loud (I have to hold the phone away from my ear) and sounds like he has a serious speech problem. A prompt comes up on my phone asking whether his voice was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard (yes/no). I answer no. This pisses off the agent, but I don't care.

I had a dream that nobody wanted to listen to me tell them about a dream I had.