• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. 2,987 words - selected parts in bold

      by , 06-25-2018 at 03:00 PM
      I went to bed around 8. I spent most of the day watching cartoons and playing on Pokemon Showdown, so it was surprising how many dreams I got.

      (zzz)

      Round 1 of dreams.

      I initially remembered more dreams, and even re-remembered them once I woke up from round 2. But the memory had vanished by the next time I went to retrieve it! I was lucky to even recall this. There was actually a lot I initially remembered and I made sure to think about it a few times over instead of lingering on the one detail I was stuck on, to form a more solid memory.

      I think there was something at my nana's. Maybe with my uncle or Aunt C or more relatives.

      There was a part where I was at my college house. I remember being in the room 2 or 3 loft. There was something about a chimney leading up. A square hole in the ceiling.

      There was something about a T V show or movie. Maybe a cartoon. Something about 3 episodes. So I figured that all 3 fit in the half hour time period. But then 4 episodes were listed. So I figured 2 fit in a half hour and the whole show aired for an hour. The writing had a green background, with black text. I might have navigated a computer monitor.

      Then I was going down the stairs from this movie theater thing. Mr. Krabs from Sponge Bob was the manager. There was something about taking out insurance before going down the stairs.

      I woke up and recalled a good amount. I even remember the feeling of going back through it and being glad to remember further back into it. But I can't get it any more.

      (zzz)

      Round 2 and 3 of Dreams. I think I woke up at some point in between these and fell back asleep but I'm not sure where. There were earlier parts that I forgot. I think I woke up with only one dream memory at first. Something gray. Then thought about round 1 of dreams and went back to sleep.

      I remember being in my high school. Mr. E had told me that everyone should be resting and relaxing, not working too hard. I got to the gym class. We were all seated in that lobby between the weight room and the wrestling room.

      I wanted to tell everyone that Mr. E said they should be resting and relaxing. Not working too hard. But I felt bad about telling them what to do. The person didn't really look like Mr. E, but just the same hair color.

      I was sitting in a line of people. I think M C was there. I wanted to change my socks. I had grey socks. But I didn't want anyone to see my feet. In the dream I imagined my own feet and didn't want others to see them. So I thought of going behind another set of doors to change my socks.

      I remember drawing an octopus, or trying to. I made it have a tongue thing poking out of its mouth. And I was going to give it lots of extra tentacles. I was drawing in pencil on white paper.

      I remember a part with C P. We had been friends in the dream. I wanted to tell him that I had seen his little brother one day in the nieghborhood. He said he already heard my story.

      I wished that he hadn't said that. I really wanted to tell him the story again, and had hoped that he would just sort of humor me by saying he had never heard it. That would be putting more focus on emotions than facts, which was what I think can be more important some times.

      I remember seeing lasers in the sky. It was night time. There were some yellow lines of lasers and some other laser things. R M had a remote control that he used to control them.

      Soon, we were flying above the high way, shooting yellow lasers at cars. I thought it was all just a visual show, and not really doing any damage. Then, one of the cars shot one white orb of light up at me, which I barely dodged. I realized that we had probably been blowing up the cars every time we shot a laser at them, so we could stop now.

      I remember getting down to the high way, and it was day time again. There was a truck which was said to contain oxygen. A rectangular vent on the side was open. The driver said to put the plug in it. The plug was another rectangular thing with black goo dripping off of it. "Are you sure you want this in the oxygen?" I asked.

      I remember a guy had pulled a prank which was not looked on favorably. I wanted to vouch for him because I usually support the under dog. But this one was too much for me. I had a yellow piece of chalk I was using to write on the bricks and pavement of the ground. As I went around thinking, 'Sorry, I don't know if I can help this time...'

      I remember arriving at a restaurant area. There was one restaurant which was built on a 45 degree hill. I looked around there and might have seen families dining.

      I kept walking along and got to an area with a high step up to the dining floor. My mom was up there, so I went up to see her. She was sitting accross from Uncle M.

      I wondered if I would sit next to Mom, or next to Uncle M. There was a chair next to Uncle M but it turned out to be wobbly. I went looking for another chair.

      The table they were sitting at rotated and then L N was sitting there. I think my mom was talking about stuff, and left. It was some kind of meeting. After my mom, or maybe it was another woman, left, L N went on to take their inventory and complain about them. I think complaining is great. However, something about how she took the woman's inventory reminded me that I need to go to A C A.

      I thought of an A C A meeting I could share on. I thought about what I would say in the 4 minutes. then, I realized that by the time I get to the meeting, I might forget all about that, or it might not come out right. So I just had the realization for myself in that moment.

      As I thought, I found myself swimming or body surfing in a body of water. It was very colorful with blue water and orange sun shine from the sun rise or sun set. I was able to do hydro kinesis. Meaning, I seemed to be able to pull the waves in various directions. I pulled them toward the center which was in line with the direction I was facing. I pulled in some bigger waves, too.

      I think I was doing a big crawl stroke. I reached a wall, which I guess was the destination, or resting point. It was a cement wall. I didn't have any fear of fish, even though it was deep water.

      L N and another woman were swimming behind me. Before they got to the wall, I reached for their hands. They looked tired, but I felt bad for taking away their chance to reach the wall them selves.

      I guess we were just supposed to turn around and swim to the other shore. But, I stopped when I saw 3 green turtles on the sand in the shallow water. I wanted to call out to the others. I looked closely at the turtles. They had pink dots for eyes. One had a few pink dots in one eye place, in a line, connected by a thinner pink line. Then some bigger, furry, green fish or badger things swam above them. I petted one of them.

      I forgot if there was anything else before the dream ended.

      I RBFA'ed but re-remembered it later.

      (zzz)

      Round 4 of dreams.

      I'm not sure exactly when this one took place. But I remember being in the living room of my current house. And my dad had papered the entire place. Meaning, he covered all the walls, ceiling, doors, windows and everything with 8 and a half by 11 sheets of white paper. I thought it looked kinda cool, and wanted to do it in my own room.

      Near where the phone is in waking life, he had a tank with a bunch of lizards. There was a bright lamp glowing over it.

      I remember another part where I was in nana's upstairs bathroom. At the top of her stairs. I was on the phone with a kid. But what happened was he had been speaking a while so I just plugged in a recording device to the phone so I could record what he said and then listen later. But then I was listening back to it, and I felt bad, because he had been asking me a question, and it seemed like I had ignored him. So I was thinking of how to explain that to him.

      I remember being in a cafe kind of place. And seeing J L and M B at 2 tables at the end there. M B and J L were talking. I sat accross from M B and greeted J with a hand shake. I think M B asked me why I sat with them. I wasn't sure!

      I remember being at another table in the cafe thing. I was looking at a book. it had a black background, and white text.

      Someone was reading it to me. I saw that after the next page, the font became really, really tiny. Also, I didn't want people to overhear the content of the book. So I tried to turn it off.

      Then I was like, "Who is this?" And I guessed who it was.

      I realized it was K L. Then I realized I needed ice and water. I was almost out of water. I thought of what the best way would be to re-stock my ice and water supply.

      I felt like I was in the O B shopping area near the pharmacies and big food store. I was accross the road from one pharmacy, but instead of a factory, it was a place with a deli and maybe a beverage store kinda thing. But my car was all the way over in the grocery store parking lot. I realized I would have to run and get my car, then park it with the trunk facing the ice store, to fill it with ice, in coolers. I ran as fast as I could to go do that.

      Next thing I remember, I was still running, but this time I was near the high school bus drive way. There was an area of green grass surrounded by cement walk ways.

      An African American woman was the monitor of the place. She started to yell at me. "Don't cut accross that! You have to go around!" She chased after me. I pretended not to hear her. "I'm gonna tell those cops to stop you!" There were police officers up ahead, by the track.

      I switched from needing my car to get ice, to needing wool. I could hear the woman yelling but pretended to ignore her. If they asked, I would just say I hadn't heard her! Seemed like a plan to me. Also, I would say that I went around the yard last time, so this time I could cut through it. There had been a layer of sand or snow on the grass.

      I reached two or three guys at a little cart thing. They had the wool. The woman caught up, too. She was telling them her side of the story. I saw that the guys had sun glasses. I guess they were the police but also they were the guys with the wool. (The plot is kind of confusing to me.) "I get to tell you my side of the story after she finishes," I said. They acknowledged.

      Eventually that part passed and it turned out they didn't have any wool to spare. It showed a baby on a couch, playing with a rectangular pillow thing. Apparently, the pillow had a piece of cedar wood, and a book, inside it. Those things gave it good energy. And the wool around it made it soft. The baby was squeezing it.

      I felt some of the wool. It was tan and felt comfortable. But they couldn't spare any.

      After that, I woke up, recalled, and RBFA. but I re-remembered it later!

      (zzz)

      Round 5 of Dreams.

      I remember being on the phone with someone. Or maybe they were right there, talking to me. While they spoke, I opened the fridge. And noticed that each shelf had big puddles of black liquid. Like olive juice.

      While they spoke, I took some towels to wipe it up. I was still listening, though. The fridge happened to be totally empty other than the black liquid, but I didn't notice that.

      I had another dream of being in that cafe again. I was journaling. I was feeling good because I had gotten calls from a few friends. And had some nice conversations.

      The journal entry reflected a much higher self-esteem than I have in waking life. I wanted to convert the font to times new roman. so i pressed "Control A" and highlighted it all.

      When it came time to select the font, I thought pressing A again would change it to Times New Roman, but it didn't. Instead, the letters became some kind of ancient ruins. They were gold in color. I thought it was cool but wanted Times New Roman. I navigated to the top panel of the word processor to do it manually.

      I had 2 false awakenings of waking up to use the bathroom. In one, I was near the restaurant from round 3 of dreams. I was looking into a card board box. It was empty. I was going to go to the bathroom in it. I kinda worried that someone might see me.

      I noticed more card board boxes near a fence. I realized that the conversations held at the restaurant were different from conversations on message boards. They weren't posted on line for later. But then some boxes were put out that had thread titles on the side.

      One thread title said that alcohol gives people a child-like glow in their eyes. I don't know why my dream said this. I think alcohol dimmed out the glow in my eyes, and it was only quitting alcohol that brought the life back to my eyes.

      The other box top beneath it said that it was a choice. Meaning I could choose to be full of life even without depending on alcohol. Maybe that's why. There was another box top saying something about the "top topics" of the night.

      I had another false awakening where I was trying to recall my dream. And got up to use the bathroom. But then I heard a really loud concert from outside my window. There was a female "soul singer" type of performer.

      I also remember hearing something like the intro to Bob Marley's "stand up" song. 'I gotta get my ear muffs and keep recalling my dreams,' I thought.

      I woke up and there wasn't really a concert playing. That was a relief.

      I stayed in bed and formed some memories of those. Then I re-played rounds 1 through 5 in my mind. After i was sure that I had finished sleeping I got up to make the outline. I got up around 7:30.
    2. Day 116: Arcade Phantasm

      by , 06-06-2018 at 06:44 PM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      Dream 97: At The Arcade

      Inside a Cinemark-type building; lots of dark red and black everywhere. I'm racing my brother around the hallways, sticking close to the walls to get around quicker (Thank you Gorman Race Track). On the third lap, I bolt it as fast as I can, narrowly avoiding being face-planted into the wall. Security starts catching on and warns us against running around the theater again.

      My brother and I head for the arcade portion of the building. There's your cookie-cutter Pac-Man machines and lame cabinets--nothing special. Until I come across this one machine at least...

      Well, two of them. My mom tagged along and she used the cabinet behind me.

      The controllers were the weirdest things I've seen. They were wooden cylinders with red buttons on randomly placed sections of the controllers. There were also two of them per person, one for each hand. Both of the cabinets were classic Castlevania clones.
    3. Nightmare (1) w/snake.

      by , 04-17-2018 at 08:02 PM
      I was with C. And he was staying with me and my mom, i think we were just in a hotel. We were traveling somewhere. In the dream, I felt like i had a nightmare where he sexually assaulted me while sleeping. I was crying and telling my mom about it. The next night in the dream, I slept in my own room in the hotel. I had a pillow covering my face but nothing else because I was hot. C came in and sexually assaulted me. I begged him to stop but he kept going. I was sobbing, being loud, but my mom didn't hear. I would beg him and say "please don't, I said no" and he'd be like "oh? no? how are you going to stop this?" and proceed to sexually abuse me. I was trying to get away, and that's when I saw this green venomous snake slither up him with out him noticing. I stayed quiet accepting what was happening, and that's when the snake bit his back. He screamed in pain and i ran out of my bed room freely.
      He acted like he did nothing wrong. I ran up to me sobbing, telling me that it was a poisoned snake and it will make all his teeth fall out. And then he had transformed into an old lady, who looked like she abused drugs, with out any teeth (if there were teeth, they were all black) and she was generally terrifying. I stepped out of what was the backyard (That looked a lot like my old houses back yard) and then i woke up.


      I feel a general love for the snake, lol. The snake really saved me.
    4. Try this number DEILD

      by , 02-20-2018 at 11:40 PM (Inner World حلم Gamma Waves)
      I am in a non lucid dream, playing basketball with people I do not know. We play for a good awhile and then something that resulted in a school assembly happen. I did not know what was happening but it seem like people were celebrating for the students. I drop the basketball and decided to get in line with the rest of them. One guy talk about his son and how he was almost involved in a murder but now has change his life around.

      I didn't really understand anything around me, but I had this intense desire to continue playing basketball and this was ruining it. I eventually woke up out of it and could see only black. My eyes were closed and I decided I was a bit tired to get up so I let them stay that way. Before I knew it I was in a dream again when I opened my eyes. My front door was slightly opened, suggesting that someone must've been inside.

      I could then hear my mother voice and realize that she is an my apartment talking with my father. This can't be happening, I knew I had to be dreaming and woke up soon after.
    5. 2-9 to 2-10 dreams (2 LD's, first nose pinch breathe, told my mom I loved her in an LD)

      by , 02-10-2018 at 04:38 PM
      I had some trouble falling asleep right away. I noticed that when I switched from mouth breathing to nose breathing, it was easier to relax.



      Round 1 of dreams.
      "Accidental O B E / my sister's knife."

      So I was having this dream of playing some video game. It was a racing game or something. I also remember a visual of a grey photo with Pokemon on it that said S E on the bottom left. I somehow calculated that this meant it was from serebii.net. It was ripped on the top left. There were other photos or magazine cut outs near by. My sister was also playing. I wanted to stop the game and go to bed but she wanted to finish the game. I was in my bed in my room at my previous house. I was laying down in bed with a woman, just to go to sleep, nothing really romantic in this dream. She had a knife at the head of the bed, down on the floor. It was like the red knife we use in the kitchen. Like a silver knife with a red handle. Something about the name of a teacher from my high school, Ms. H.

      The knife was apparently for her to be able to stab me in case I woke her up or something like that. I decided she might accidentally grab it and stab me in her sleep, so I tried to move it to a table near my bed. While I was up from bed doing this, she got up and covered my face. I noticed that i could still breathe, which in hindsight was due to the same reason nose pinched breathing works in a dream. She was holding me down and I couldn't move. I tried to fight her. Then I think I woke up a little or something and the dream repeated, ending with her holding me down again. I don't know if it repeated in full but I think I remember playing the video game thing twice and then her holding me down trying to kill me, twice. I actually realized it was a dream and I should be able to sort of stop her from trying to kill me. I tried to push her away (gently) using telekinesis, and it didn't seem to work. I remember feeling kind of overpowered. I woke up in the heaviest and most paralyzed sleep paralysis I have ever been in before. I couldn't even breathe or move and it was so weird. I panicked and started to try to fight it, just as I was fighting it within the dream. I thought of relaxing like I had heard of from many lucid dreamers who had sleep paralysis but the fight response was too much. I was totally panicked and this became almost like a nightmare. Also, sleep paralysis within an hour or two of going to sleep at night was the last thing I expected. I felt total dread. Dread is a great word for the feeling I felt.

      I really thought I would have a terrifying night terror if I stayed still, and I wanted to avert that. I thought my eye cover had slipped off and I could see things in my room dimly illuminated with white light. In hindsight, that wasn't my physical room, it was like an astral overlay of my physical room which i was seeing, or just a dream room that was close to my physical room. I remember touching my non physical eyes with my non physical hands thinking it was physical to check if the eye cover had fallen off.

      I struggled with all my might to get my physical body to move. I thought I felt my physical body get up out of bed and go toward the window behind my bed. It turned out it was my non physical body, but I didn't know that at the time. That's why I called it an accidental O B E. I don't know whether to call it my astral body or my dream body. At any rate, I pushed against the window to see if I would fly out. The window was solid. The curtains were not drawn the same as they are in waking life though, but I didn't notice at the time. I could feel the cold glass window. I could also see out the glass a bit, just some rendering of street lights and house lights and maybe stars or moon. Now that I was up, I was thinking that I must have only slept very briefly. But I would just journal about it and then go back to sleep.

      So I looked for my dream journal setup and my dream journal chair. The lights in the room sort of went on on their own without me noticing. My dream journal chair was in a different place, but I didn't notice the discrepancy. I started to gather my thoughts and get ready to dream journal.

      Then I woke up in my physical bed in semi sleep paralysis and thought through the experience. I think I also heard some exit and re entry noises, now that I think about it.

      Once I was in my physical bed for sure, my fear was pretty much gone. After forming a clear mental image of the dream, I tried to see if another dream or O B E would begin if I stayed perfectly still. I told myself that even if a night terror came right up to my face, I would just relax.

      It kind of scared me that I went out of body and kind of abandoned my body in fear. That has never happened before. But I thought it was cool because I have never had an O B E like that before where a non physical body literally separates from the physical body into the persons bedroom. Of course it would happen to me accidentally, not when I try hard!












      Round 2 of dreams.
      "Just Fragments".

      I dozed back off a lot on these even as I thought them through so some memory was lost. But I must have needed the sleep.

      There was a part with my cousin and my aunt. My aunt was saying something, sitting near a door.

      There was a guy who looked like someone from the gym I used to go to, saying how he did one thing per minute. He was sort of hanging off the edge of his bed, saying how dream recall was so easy. He had one hundred percent dream recall and if everyone else would only do it his way, they could have it too. But no one would listen to him. He was on one of the beds of a bunk bed. The bed was on the left side of the "dream screen" and he was facing towards the right.

      There was this part where I was going through old stuff. I saw a picture of a picture of my Dad in a white polo shirt. I kind of wondered why someone took a picture of a picture but I tried to give it to him anyway. There was an old white sneaker that looked kind of droopy. I was holding it up by its navy blue laces. My Dad was saying how he didn't want us to ruin the shoe. It was like his old pair of shoes, but he had it in case his new pair of shoes broke or something.

      I remembered more after waking up from them, but fell back asleep. There were definitely more parts I forgot. Later on, I remembered one part about a four versus four pokemon battle, or like a double double battle. I wrote more about this during the dream journal entry in which I remembered it.

      I only got up because I needed to pee very much. Otherwise I would have kept sleeping.















      Round 3 of dreams.

      I am not sure if I remembered parts of last dream I thought I had forgotten as the beginning of this dream, but I will put them here.

      My Dad and I were moving into a new place to live. Somehow Homestar Runner was involved. There were two vines I wanted to replant. (I dream a lot about planting plants since I started growing some house plants) So then I started a fire in the fire place. I got the feeling that I was only supposed to put one log, because it was burning a lot. It was really just glowing red, there really wasn't fire. But I think it felt too hot or something in the dream. (Maybe my blanket was on too high?)

      There were cigarette butts on the floor. There was an implanted context in my dreaming mind that my Dad had been a smoker, and now he was smoking in this new house. The dream context was that he had smoked all along and just hid it from me. (I have a major aversion to smokers and cigarette smoke in waking life and if my Dad started smoking it would really be tough since I live with him). There were also some latin american guys who were going to help us with stuff. I think I remember remembering more of this at some point but I forgot. It was a pretty complex scene.

      Now this part I am sure is from this "round" of dreams.

      My Aunt B and Aunt C were having some conversation about some life topics. Then I was sitting around with other people at the marble table in my Nana's room from when I was a kid but it was taller. There was a woman I was interested in at the door to my Nana's room. My Aunt was joining us at the table and I kind of felt weird about her joining us all. Probably because there weren't any other of my relatives there so it was kind of like "mixing worlds".

      Then there was a class my cousin was in, like a Health class. I was there, sort of auditing the class from the side, to keep an eye on her. She didn't know I was there. The teacher was talking to her and some other guys in the class. She was saying that they should always have a good grasp of how to use "feelings words". At any given time they should be able to think of some feelings words and use those. (Good advice for me!) Then the teacher gave some examples of using feelings words that I forgot. My cousin saw me and expressed her surprise that I was there. I told her, yeah, I am just following the class or something. (I guess this is because my younger cousin is away at school now and maybe I hope she is only having good influences during her time there.) I may have had a skate board or been riding a skate board during this time.

      I forgot some other parts of the dream that would have been here.

      Then there were these long balance bars or metal rod type of things standing up against the walls. My friend Chris from grade school was there. I was moving the metal rods but I think I wasn't supposed to. I think I was examining the physics of them, but not even in a pre lucid way. Just as a thing I was doing in the dream.

      This next part is kind of hard to explain. I climbed up this jungle gym type of thing and I was falling off the side. The physics were a little different from waking life, but I didn't notice. Then I was in the middle of the thing, kind of in a square? I think i did something they didn't want me to. then another guy, someone like my friend Jeff T or Pat S, scolded me. I felt upset about that. I think I exited the square part going down a slide type of thing. It was kind of vague but that is the most accurate I can be about it.

      Then there was a part about how my friend Chris has somehow wronged me or taken my money. So I was taking his money and then running away. (This might reflect a gripe I have with the grocery store because it seems that one of every three or four apples I get is rotten on the inside lately, and I want them to give me free apples to make up for it, but I don't keep the rotten apples to prove it to them) .

      So then I was sort of running through a school. I was running through the hall way and thought the home economics room would be the safest place. I could feel I was being chased. It wasn't that much fear but just a mild chase feeling.

      When I got into that room, I felt safer. There was a 50 dollar bill and a 20 dollar bill on a counter top. I remember looking at the money and it looked like waking life money to me. I thought of taking it and putting it in my wallet but I decided not to. Then I was sitting at this other table and trying to write on some paper. I was totally non lucid, but I think I was trying to journal what had happened so far, which is cool. Writing in the dream didn't work like it does in waking life. I was using a pencil on lined paper. Then some stuff happened in the room that I looked around at. I looked back down and there was more writing on the paper than there was before I looked away. I wasn't doing a dream state check, that was just what happened in the dream. Then, the paper became graph paper. I was trying to write an uppercase "I" to start a sentence but it was coming out all funny. I thought of using the lines on the graph paper to sort of trace the shape of the letter but it wasn't working that way, either.

      My friend Pat was sitting to my right. He wasn't talking to me. It was like he was mad at me from what happened before, but not scolding me or anything. Just sort of waiting for me to talk to him or being in my company but silently. It was kind of comforting of a feeling, like we were still friends, just kind of at odds a little, one waiting for the other to break the ice.

      Rather than bring up our past squabbles, he tried to help me with writing. It still didn't work, but that was nice. Then at the left end of the long table we were at, some girls sat down and some guys joined them too. One I think was Tom from my high school. I didn't recognize the others. There was a T V monitor at the end of the table showing a video of a girl. (Note to self #3*)
      The girl from the video was actually sitting to the right of the video, showing it to everyone. That group of guys and girls was not really part of my group but just using the empty table space. There was another girl to her left and then maybe two guys accross from them, on my side of the table. I remember in the dream, thinking, wow, she is showing a video of herself. That is so weird to see a video of a person who is right next to the screen.

      Then apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger was coming through the room. He was understood to be the president in the context of this dream. He didn't look much like Arnold Schwarzenegger, he had a different kind of face, but his body was tremendous. Not really like a V taper but instead it was like his whole body was really wide and really tall, from shoulders to waist to feet. He was wearing some kind of black suit. He had some body guards with him who were a bit smaller, but also kind of tall.

      I was sitting there trying not to look too busy so that in case the president wanted to talk to me, I would seem to be available. I thought the president would want to talk to me about something, such as asking my advice for what to do about the world.

      The guys and girls next to us were talking about taking showers soon. I realized that I better get in there before they take up all the showers. I grabbed whatever towel I could find. It turned out to be my friend Pat or Jeff's towel, but by the time I realized that, I was already in the room with the showers. There was another towel hanging on the door. I felt bad for taking my friends towel but didn't want to go all the way back there to return it. I considered using another one of the towels in the showering room but those probably belonged to other people, too. I think I used my towel to hide a bunch of clothes covered in poop earlier in the dream... LOL.

      Then I realized I had to take a dump. So I went in the shower and hoped there would be time that I would have the place to myself before that other group of people got to the bathroom. I squatted down all the way and started to poop in the floor of the shower. I figured it would all wash down the drain! LOL. Then I looked toward the door and I saw my reflection. it was funny because it was moving out of sync with my own movements of my "dream body". I noticed this in the dream but it didn't come as a dream sign, it just seemed kind of funny to me. So as I squatted there, I kind of played with this out of sync reflection. Then I figured I was done pooping and looked down. The floor was brown where I had been squatting over but there wasn't poop, just brown spots. I forgot to wash it down into the drain, whatever it was. I knew the group of people who sat at our table could have come in at any time and I really didn't want the embarassment of them finding out I had pooped there. Then my friend came in for his towel and I told him sorry i accidentally took his. I hadn't used it yet, or really even showered. I guess the dream changed after that and I forgot I was going to shower. In fact, the whole room changed into like a combination of a library and a kitchen.

      There was this one part where I was walking through a library. An Indian fellow I knew from college was saying how planks (the abdominal exercise) didn't matter. I was saying that they weren't a major muscle group so that made sense. Then I realized they are a core exercise and the core is a major muscle group. Then, I told him that. There were book shelves around. I think I spoke to him from the other side of a 4 or 5 foot book shelf.

      Then I had all of my stuff in a big plastic storage bin. It was a see through plastic bin. In that bin were a bunch of smaller see through bins. It wasn't really all of my stuff, but just in the context of the dream, it was thought to be all of my stuff. I had everything I needed except a tooth brush case. My friend George F was there and he heard of my predicament. He was telling me about some tooth brush cases he had as well as two bottles of different kinds of green tooth brush cleaning liquids. One said 50 gallons of galantamine on it, and it was a dark green color. It was known as green apple. I think the other was a brighter green. This one was like a dark aqua green.

      Earlier in the dream, I forgot exactly where, I was trying to hide a bunch of my clothes that were covered in poop. I had them in a pile and really didn't want people to find out I had poop on my clothes. I was trying to jam them under a table of some sort and cover them with a towel or other clean article of clothing. I was kind of panicking about hiding them.

      I woke up on my left hand side. I felt dissappointed at first because I couldn't think of any of the dreams. I thought it was going to be a night of grogginess and no dream recall. But then, one by one, things started coming to mind. Once I felt I had thought of as much as I could, I got up to write. I had shoulder pain from laying on my side, so I had to roll over before I could recollect all the memories. But I actually found a way to sleep on my side without as much weight on my shoulder that I am trying and it is helping not have as much shoulder pain when I wake up, which should mitigate this problem.














      Round 4 of dreams.
      "First time doing nose pinch breathe test".

      Before this round of dreams, I did my "workout back to bed" method where I use my exercise bike and stretch a little before laying back down. It usually helps me become lucid for some reason. I laid back down on my left side and had difficulty positioning my body at first but eventually I got to sleep.

      I forgot a lot of the earlier parts of this dream.

      Then I remember seeing a guy I knew named Jesse talking to the "dream screen". He used to give me advice and was even kind of a mentor, and he was saying some of the kind of advice he used to give me. I forgot anything more specific than that. Then it showed him saying that he had a red minivan. Then, the dream screen showed him sort of ghost riding the red minivan into an alley way. It was like a red jeep or mini van thing.

      Then the "dream video" showed this kind of tricycle thing a kid was riding and it would zip accross the screen. There was a kid riding the tricycle. It may have been pink at one point. When it zipped accross the screen, it was more white and black. It looked like a funny MS Paint image moving accross a video taken by a video camera, like a way of editing the video. Like clip art super imposed on a regular video.

      Then there were more parts I forgot. Try as I may, I couldn't remember them. So I don't know how I got from one part to the next, but the next part I remember, I was lucidly aware it was a dream.

      I was telling a kid at a computer that I was willing to help him with fixing something on the computer. He was at a cubicle and there were more cubicles in the room. I forgot who the person at the computer was, or what the computer problem was, but I know I felt sort of honor bound to follow through with helping fix his problem. The computer problem was probably that it was a dream and computers in dreams are different sometimes!

      Anyway I decided to stop doing that and fly away, telling myself I would get back to it later. I knew it was a dream. I flew over to a tree.

      I was on the second branch of the tree and decided I wanted to climb the whole tree, because that would be cool in a dream. Then once I did that, I told myself, I would go finish helping that guy with his computer troubles.

      I don't remember what else happened there. I might have climbed the tree or finished helping the guy but I don't remember! I guess some lucid stuff happened but then maybe I forgot it was a dream or maybe I still knew it was a dream. But here is what I remember next.

      I was with some girls in the mall, or just watching them talk from a distance. There was something to do with food, maybe I was eating, or they were. A blonde girl seemed to be the center of everyone's attention. (Note to self #4*) I wasn't really comfortable with what they were talking about and I tried to stay away. I also had the idea of protecting my younger cousin or sister from what they were talking about.

      Then I was on a computer. There was some kind of music playing. I knew it was a dream but I didn't want anyone to overhear the audio that was playing. It may have been kind of awkward to listen to. It was as though the mall scene became a video I was watching, then I was sitting outside the screen watching it there, only now I could see it was just on a screen within the dream, not the actual scene I was actually in within the dream. So I closed that window to make my computer stop playing it. Down by the download bar, there were three files that said lira.pdf. L I R A dot P D F. There was also a file I didn't catch the name of in between them. Then, a Beyonce type of song played and I wanted to close whatever window that was coming from. I couldn't close it or stop the music so I went to put the computer to sleep. I don't know if I lost lucidity temporarily or what happened in terms of lucidity but I know for sure I was lucid within a few moments of this. So I tried to open the computer's "start" menu to put it to sleep, but the start menu had no words in it. It was all blank. So I thought I would just do a manual shut down, and I pressed the manual shut down button. I was afraid I would lose all my windows and files, which is why I think I might have had a temporary gap in lucidity during this part. I could understand being lucid and wanting to stop the sound so i could continue the dream. But i can't see being concerned about saving files if I knew it was a dream and not my waking life computer. (Next time I am in a dream and some music or sound is playing that I want to shut off, I might actually try to just listen to it. Maybe it would have a message for me! It is kind of habitual for me to want to shut it off but I don't think the dream is playing it just to annoy me)

      When I stepped back from the computer, I saw I was at a desk similar to my desk in waking life, with two big blinders on either side I made from dresser drawers. The room lights were on. I was actually in my bedroom from the last house I lived in, not this one, but didn't catch that until I had woken up. I thought it might be a dream, and I tried putting my right finger through my left palm. No luck. It didn't go through! Sometimes my "dream body" is too "solid" or something. But then, I tried a little more, and I saw it come out the other side a little. For me, the finger didn't really go through all the way this time. It just made a dent on the other side of my left hand that wouldn't have happened in waking life. It kind of hurt, like it usually does. Does that hurt anyone else?

      So that was enough for me to know I was in a dream. I looked around the room and saw a desk with stuff on it on the side of the room to my right. So I had two desks in that room on different walls. I felt kind of panicked for some reason, maybe because I could sense the dream was about to end? I decided to keep playing around with the finger palm test and see what I could observe from just continuing to do that over again. This might have been when I tried to remember the topic of the year or month but maybe that was a different time.

      then I thought of the nose pinch breathing test and decided to give it a go. I had never tried it before in a dream. I was already lucidly aware but just wanted to see what really happened. So I put my right hand up to that nostril, then my left hand up to the other, and I basically pressed the nostrils. Now, if my finger could pass through my hand, how do my fingers be solid enough to press my nostrils shut? But I guess it does that. It felt like I was pressing my nostrils closed, but that I could breathe at the same time. I think I sat in my swiveling desk chair and closed my dream eyes to just sort of meditate by breathing with my nostrils pinched. I could feel the dream chair swiveling as I did it and I thought I would get a bonus spinning effect to increase stability in addition to getting the dream state check really thoroughly. It felt cool to breathe in and out deeply. I also thought of rubbing my hands. It is funny how my mind jumps to the next thing so quickly even when I am lucidly aware.

      (It reminds me of how I am when I try to meditate. Okay, let's sit down to meditate. *Starts to breathe in* Oh , wait, let me go do this or that. *Gets up and does that*. My mind sort of jumps away and I follow it. So maybe practicing meditation in a lucid dream will help me meditate better in waking life, which I used to be much better at. )

      I heard some really nice instrumental music playing and I thought another dream would begin to begin. But I woke up in my physical bed. I maintained the deep breathing as I thought through the dreams.

      I felt I had only a limited memory of the dream, and some parts that definitely felt memorable at the time just weren't coming to my mind. I was so relieved when at least that red mini van part came to mind. That one surprised me because it was a while after I felt like I had already got everything. I thought if I stayed still, I could have a wake initiated lucid dream while still remembering that past one. But I couldn't stay still, too much energy, so i got up to write.

      I thought that lucid dream was really memorable because it was my first time nose pinch breathing. Also, I breathed in and out fully within a dream, which was one of the beginner tasks. I sort of did it with that task in mind, which was helpful.


























      Round 5 of dreams.

      I got up from these dreams without any memory. Actually, I stayed still, but couldn't remember anything. At first, I had some memory perhaps of some Latino or African American people. There was this one word or phrase in my mind that seemed like it would stick in my memory. But as soon as I got up to use the bathroom, it was like it was snatched away.

      I remembered a part of the dreams, I think from round two, of a double double Pokemon battle. So, it was like a quadruple battle. There were four Pokemon circle thingies and two Pokemon in each, two on one side, two on the other. One was about to use a water move or a thunder move that would affect all 7 other Pokemon on the field. I was like, I didn't know they had quadruple battles now. I don't rememember the Pokemon who were there. I remember it was like your standard video game battle screen with the Pokemon on the bottom left and top right, and stats on top left and bottom right. That was pretty cool to remember something all the way back from my second round of dreams. I had thought of it then, I am sure, in a brief period of waking, but fallen back asleep.

      So then I fell asleep on my right side again. It was already light out, but I did my best to ignore that. With a pillow under the right side of my torso, I didn't get that pinched nerve in my right shoulder, which enabled me to stay still long enough to sleep again.








      Round 6 of dreams. .

      First dream I remember, I wasn't even sure if it was a dream, or just my conscious imagination. But I think it was a dream. I was on the road perpendicular to the road I live on, and I had a female dog with me. The leash she was on had infinite length and she ran to the neighbor's fence, trying to go under it or something. I figured there was a dog she was friendly with there. I woke up from that kind of surprised it was just a dream. I was trying to think if female dogs behave that way.

      Then, I had a dream I forgot. I think this was my first one in this series where I had this false awakening but became lucid within it. However, I don't remember the specifics.

      Next, I had a dream that was kind of personal, so I will just make a note to self #1* about that. But I didn't realize it was a dream until after.

      Then, I had another false awakening thing. I think that I had a few more false awakenings in here that I just couldn't remember. I kept dreaming of getting up out of bed and then realizing it was a dream. They seemed like they would last forever. I think my sister was in one. There may have been one with a dark haired or black haired girl.

      The parts I start to remember clearly start here. I had another thing where I thought I had gotten up in waking life but it turned out it was just a dream. I might have done the finger palm test here and it poked through just a tiny bit. I remember there were a bunch of televisions all around me, playing different stuff. I wanted to calm down and avoid being overstimulated by them so it wouldn't wake me up. I knew it was a dream. Then I was in this blue locker room thing with lots of aisles. I was kind of chilling out, trying not to adrenalize or do anything too extreme. Then, I looked to the end of the locker room, and I just thought I would like to rocket myself to the very end of it. So I flew there as fast as I could and stopped. I flew by some people going that way. I decided I would fly back after that, so I jumped up, exhaled really hard, and tried to fly. but I could only fly very slowly, making this funny whoopie cushion noise with my mouth. On my left, I saw a beautiful blonde haired girl at some kind of cubicle with some lights shining on her face. I flew by her though. Someone I flew directly over gave me a funny look. I woke up.

      I think there were a little more parts I forgot.

      Then, I remember this part outside of a store. I wasn't lucid yet I don't think. I was dream chaining so some dreams in the dream chain, i was automatically lucid. And some dreams in the dream chain, I had to wait to get a DILD. This was one where I had to wait to get a DILD.

      In this one I found myself outside a store, listening to two kids talk. Their Dad was this guy Eric I used to see more often. He smoked cigarettes, which I usually don't think is good. The kids were saying how he really isn't capable of being too much of a bully, but he is not capable of being too sensitive, either. They sounded kind of sad. They were saying how he made a lot of money on a Youtube video contract. I guess Eric was more on my mind because I have been passing by his house more often on my walks to the grocery store.

      As I was listening to the kids talk, I think I noticed I might be dreaming again. I don't know exactly how I noticed that, but I started to run. It was a beautiful day with a blue sky and all of the buildings were neon orange, neon green or neon yellow. I decided just to go for a run in the dream, which was lots of fun. There was this interesting lightly colored stone statue in the middle of the town that had something written on it in a stone carving. I kind of did a double take to try to read it, but didn't feel capable of stopping long. I don't remember what it was now but it gave me the feeling of some reading on someone's grave stone. That was when I realized that I felt like I was going against the grain of the dream. So I stopped and asked the "awareness behind the dream", "hey, what is your will for me now?" I kind of wanted to go more with the flow of the dream, but I didn't feel like I could get into the flow of the dream. So I kept running up this hill, noticing the neon pastel yellows, oranges and lime greens of the many buildings. To my right , I saw what looked like a prison with bars in front of it. There were men in dark blue uniforms out front I thought could be police officers. I was scared that they would stop me and take me into dream prison but I was able to run right by. There seemed to be some other dream figures being incarcerated.

      Then, I sort of woke up from that, but somehow I maintained the feeling of running. This was really interesting. I maintained the feeling of my body running while the "dream screen" showed me these green binary ones and zeroes on a black background. There was also some white shiny lining behind the binary code. I continued to feel my body run and look at this binary code, knowing my physical body was laying still in my physical bed. At some point, it started to scare me, like it might go on forever, and my soul would be stuck there? So I willed my body out of bed, not knowing that I was willing my astral or dream body out of bed, like I did by accident earlier in the night.

      Then, I was laying in my bed on my right side again, like the way I had fallen asleep. I thought it was my physical bed. I heard some audio playing. There were actually two recordings going at once. One, I figured I could have left on when I went to sleep, even though upon reflecting now I know I did not have any audio on when I went to sleep this time. This was one of the first times I had a false awakening that started laying on my side in bed, but I actually noticed it was a false awakening. So that is a big sign of progress.

      I sort of rolled over to my front and saw two ipods, a blue one and a bigger old fashioned black one. I un plugged the blue one, and now I only heard the second audio. It wasn't coming from the black i Pod. I wasn't lucid yet. I walked along the side of my bed there and found the other audio was coming from this radio thing in the wall. It had a knob that I dialed to the off position. It was kind of a red knob, poking out of my closet. The dream state indicators were beginning to pile up but I wasn't lucidly aware yet.

      Then, I saw all these stickers on the wall near the left hand side of my door. My wall was a mix of orange and pink and I knew those stickers weren't there in waking life, so I became lucid. Yay! I thought to myself that I am just in a really long chain of false awakenings and this is so fun. I felt like it would go on forever!

      I think the radio came back on, or I never fully turned it off. I turned it off again, but I had the feeling that turning it off was "my will" where as maybe the "dream intelligence" wanted me to just stop and listen to it. I heard some of the words but I don't remember them.

      There was one part, which was either in this dream or earlier, where I realized the dream chain was going on so long that I would like to stop and recollect the events, while remaining in the dream. Perhaps try to jot down some dream journaling within the dream or otherwise think back through it. (One of my biggest dream intentions is to ask the dream itself for an increase in dream recall, or to help me remember the dream in 100% detail. And I will promise the dream to write out every bit and piece of the dream that comes to mind. But I didn't do that this time.) I find that in dreams, I have a hard time staying still long enough to really do something like that which requires me to sort of sit and focus.

      Also, this may have been earlier, or maybe it was in this one. I remember a yellow green thing and a sky blue rectangle thing. I remember wondering what I could think of to do, and not being able to think of much. (Note to self #2*)

      So I felt that I needed to go pee, which would make sense by now, having been dreaming for what felt like so long. There was this black toilet kind of thing that appeared when I turned in one direction. I almost went, then thought, maybe I could just wait until i get up. I was afraid to wet the bed, and I didn't need to go very much. (I have actually peed in lucid dreams and not peed in real life though)

      So then, I was realizing I really want to do something cool. But I couldn't think of anything. I found a wall mirror that was about shoulder width, one of those 3 to 5 foor tall by one to 1.5 foot wide ones. And I talked to myself in it. My eyes got kind of slanty and it looked cool, but other than that, it looked like me. I was telling myself, come on, Charles, we gotta think of something we really wanted to do! I think I remembered to ask the dream what its will for me was again but I am not sure. I remember realizing that I wanted to help someone in a dream, which is really good for me to remember. I walked in to one room kind of thinking that but I didn't officially ask the dream. But the dream must have read my mind and made it happen. Then, I heard my sister in another room. At first it was oriented like the house I live in now. But then, it was kind of a different kind of house I had never been in. I actually heard my Mom's voice calling to me. So I went to where I heard her calling from. It was this room that had a door to it on either side, as if it was between two hallways.

      There was a big bed in the middle and to the left of that bed, she was doing art on an easel. I had entered from the right hand side of the room. She was painting, drawing or coloring some kind of orange and yellow butterfly. I immediately remembered my other L D from a few days ago where my Mom was being really nice to me, and I wanted to compliment her on her art, but my dream mouth was too full of dream food! So I was so excited to have another chance.

      I immediately went, something like, "Mom, your art is so beautiful!" She seemed surprised. I think she was just asking me for help with something minor around the house or something. But I flew accross the bed, still lucidly aware, and gave her a big hug. I said something like, "I love you, Mom!" Apparently I didnt have a shirt on, even though I think I did in the mirror before. Apparently I was sweaty, too, and my Mom was like, you're all sweaty. L O L! She was wearing some kind of knitted sweater. I told her I would wash it for her so no worries. She started saying how she needed help with organizing her art awards. Then, I woke up in my physical bed.

      That was SO AWESOME. That was definitely one my best L D's ever so far. I remembered a really positive and wholesome intention. I think listening to 3 to 4 hours of Robert Waggoner interviews from You Tube gave me a lot of inspiration for how cool of a thing can happen in a dream.

      As I was dreaming, I was aware that I was sleeping in much later than usual, but luckily, I had no prior arrangements. My schedule in my waking life is pretty flexible. So this dream chain was a huge, huge bonus, because I already had a nap the day before and a full nights sleep.

      I stayed perfectly still upon awaking that last time, thinking through it. I actually thought if I stayed still long enough, I might have more dreams, or an O B E. I remembered as much as I possibly could, and even felt some sleep paralysis kick in.

      What my body will do is either stay still and go to sleep, or if it doesn't want to sleep, it will stretch out like a big lion, flexing every muscle, with a big yawn. When that happens, I usually assume I am done sleeping for now. I definitely am very satisfied with this experience and I feel great right now, even with having forgot certain parts of the dream.

      I remember waking up between earlier dream segments, thinking about them, and thinking I was formulating a memory. but then a new dream would begin. So, I guess I didn't consciously form and store the memory solidly enough.

      In dream chaining, I look at those dreams I forget kind of like a gamble. I might remember them, but I might forget them. Either way, I will go deeper into the dream chain, and maybe have more dream experiences that I will remember, so it is kind of worth it to keep dream chaining, in my current analysis.

      I feel really happy now. I think it would be nice to tell people I care about that I love them in more dreams. The thing about this is, in waking life, there are usually barriers to how much love I can express towards someone I care about. Like it will feel weird to express that much love. But in a dream, the same barriers aren't present, so I can fully express my love for someone I care about. If it was actually a shared dream with my Mom, where perhaps she was not lucidly aware it was a dream, but I was, she might not remember it, but she would definitely have an inner sense of happiness from that, too.







      At some point, I also remembered to think of the task of the month and year. I am pretty sure I remembered to think of it.
    6. Dreams from night of 2-7 to 2-8 (at least 2 LDs)

      by , 02-08-2018 at 02:09 PM
      Here are the dreams from last night. The non lucid parts are written in black. I highlighted the lucid parts in lime green this time. There were also some parts that were really pre lucid but not exactly lucid, so I only highlighted the ones I was certain were lucid.


      Round 1 and 2 of dreams
      Here are dreams. This is the second time I have woken up. Unfortunately, the first time I woke up, I did not write down the dream fragments I remembered. I thought to myself that they were so few, that I would definitely rmemeber them next time I woke uo. This was not the case, and now I am kind of sad that they are gone.

      I had difficulty falling asleep the first time of the night, but the second time I went back to sleep (after needing the bathroom) I fell asleep easier.

      From this second round of dreams, the first thing I remember is having to go somewhere with my Dad. I didn't want to go. It had to do with where I went to college.

      Then, there was a part at AB's house where it was around 6 A M. I wanted to ask my cousin something but AC said it was too early for her. she wasn't really up yet.

      There was something about my sister arranging a daily spanking routine with my Dad. I was horrified by this. I am against the spanking of children. The concept of spanking came up in my life recently and so I see that this has some carryover to day time.

      This dream was very vivid and eventful, but I remembered only a little. The next part was that I was sitting near some water and there were two girls to my right. It was like the shore of an ocean or big body of salt water. there was some surf washing up. One girl to my right had no shirt on the second time I looked at her. I didn't get too engaged in that aspect of the dream. But I forgot what we were all doing by the water. Maybe eating ice cream? I was going to go out to the water at first but then I saw those two sitting there and decided to sit with them.

      There was a part where I had this foldable griddle and was cooking eggs or other food for people. there was a lot of food in this dream. I was cooking a big rectangular pizza and I considered slicing open the crust and turning the whole thing into a breakfast pizza with bacon, maple syrup and eggs, and i guess cheese. I thought everyone would really enjoy this.

      There was a family there that was like my previous neighbors. There was a girl from there who I was seeming to get to know better. We were sitting together by ourselves. I did not get along well with these neighbors. I remember seeing a guy who looked like her brother but wasn't quite her brother, so I figured he was her cousin or something. Then another guy came over and seemed to draw her back over to their family table. I felt kind of bad about this because I liked her. In waking life, I did not get along well with her.

      Then there was a thing about this plant or ornament thing that could be designed to stay in a certain shape. So I put one of the limbs into a square and I did this to impress people or win the girl back. There was a whole concept of how the plant or ornament could be programmed to go in a certain shape, without changing it manually. I was then looking through the shelves beneath it for a manual of some sort. Instead, I found a questionnaire packet about some different topics, one of which was kind of surprising.(Note to self #1*)

      I felt like I was supposed to fill it out, but didn't want to. There might have been something to do with math homework. Then, A B walked by and sung that I was a beautiful helper. I felt good about that.

      So then I was walking back through and there were all these kids. Someone said something about how we all have to get these kids on the bus before 10 A M so we don't get billed for having kids at this location. The floors were all slippery and it was a big mess. Then I walked further one way and a latin american fellow was eating raw chicken. i thought, man, he must be hungry, but I didn't think that was good for you. Oh, well, maybe he can digest it. Then, a woman's voice was asking if the kids have trouble being on benefits or people pick on them because of being on benefits. Then, I walked by this huge pile of cooked sweet potatoes. but they were moldy. I got excited because I love roasted yams. But I opened one and it had lots of green and white mold.

      So, that was all of these dreams. Unfortunately, I forgot a lot of parts that were interesting. What happened was, once I woke up from that second round of dreams and sleep, I stayed perfectly still and attempted to think of what I dreamed about. But, for some reason, it took a minute or two for anything to come to mind. That seems weird because it was such a vivid dream. I guess I was just groggier or in a deeper phase of sleep and hopefully, the next rounds of sleep and dreams gives me more dream recall.










      Round 3 of dreams



      I didn't have too much trouble falling asleep. These dreams turned out to be a dream chain kind of thing with two fairly long lucid dreams back to back after the first dream. I forgot a lot of the dreams unfortunately, even though I stayed perfectly still and immediately thought of what i had dreamed upon awakening physically in my bed. Well, here is what I remember.

      There was a scene where I was on the phone with my friend Lesa. I forgot what we were talking about. One part was that I have healed a lot from circumcision trauma because I am not as angry, even though I still oppose it. I just oppose it more calmly, which is healthier for me at the time. I was pouring soap from a body soap bottle into something else. It was like a blue tube of gel, unlike the real body soap, which isn't as solid. My Mom had taken the toilet down stairs for cleaning it, which made perfect sense to me at the time. There was some dream context that I could have cleaned the walls behind the toilet and the floor while she was down there but I didn't really want to. I didn't know I was dreaming yet. In the bath tub to the left of the toilet place, there were all of these blue fish tank pebble types of things. I figured they were some kind of cleaning salts and would dissolve.

      I forgot the rest of this dream, but there was more to it. What happened was, I woke up and thought about it. I remember remembering a good deal of it, but the next thing I knew, I was asleep again, and in another dream.

      In this dream, I had woken up in a car. I was in a parking lot and it was daylight. I didn't know I was dreaming right away, but I started to have the notion that it could be a dream. A girl pulled up in a car next to me. It was Victoria from high school and I got out of my car, to not be anti social. At the time, i was trying to dream journal in my car, which often happens as this is kind of a false awakening I get from thinking I have woken up to dream journal when i was intending to last time I was awake. I was worried about forgetting my dreams. Then, I was on the passenger side of my car, trying to write my dream journal in blue gel on the windshield. I realized this wouldn't work the best, and tried to get my phone to work as a dream journal. Then, another guy was there talking to Victoria, and I had the sense they both wanted me to go away. I looked in some compartment on the side of my car. As I was standing with Victoria and the guy, I was still stressing about writing my dream journal. then I realized i was in another dream. I was like seventy five percent sure of it, but didn't do any dream state checks yet.

      Next, in this dream, I was in some kind of a school hallway or building. I remember it being bright with lots of white tiles and white walls and stuff like that. There was some kind of class going on or something. There were some women around. I decided to check if it was indeed a dream. I tried a finger palm test a few times, hoping to be discreet. It didn't go through, but the hunch that I was dreaming still didn't go away. I was thinking, I know this is a dream, I just need to prove it to myself. I remember looking out some window perhaps into a field. I also remember there was some rectangle in the wall that I pulled myself up to look into and it was this crawl space thing, with upside down cieling tiles as the floor. This seemed unusual to me. I don't know if this counts as a totally lucid dream or if I was just pre lucid the whole time. More happened in this dream, but I don't remember it now, and you will see why in the next dream. I am not sure if I had more lucidity later in this part of the dream chain or not. But I did wake up and try to remember as much as possible of this part of the dream chain before the next began. As far as dream chains go, this one had 3 long segments, instead of my usual 6 to 12 short segments when I have dream chains.

      Another dream began after a while of thinking through the previous two. This time, I knew it was a dream sooner, almost immediately. I forgot the first parts of this dream. I remember some kind of underground rock concert, a scene I feel I have dreamed of before. I felt somewhat excluded perhaps. Then I was in this parking garage walking perhaps to my car. There was a thought in my mind about how a certain belief system (Note to self #2*) seems dark but is more about integration than actually becoming evil. There were cars parked to my right, and I walked or flew alongside them. I sensed someone coming and I hid behind them. I had the feeling I was in a part of the dream I wasn't allowed. As I hid behind one car, I saw a car pull out of one of the spaces ahead and to my left, from between other cars. the unusual thing was, it was a limosine, but it pulled out of a car space just the size of a regular sedan, which had nothing past it but a wall. Well, I already knew it was a dream.

      Then, I was flying around this lobby a bit. I had a sense I should really lay low around here. I saw someone working in a glass booth and flew through the glass both, but I think I was also invisible. I tried going down through the floor to see the underground concert thing again, but the dream told me I couldn't go through the floor this time. So, I let go of needing to do that.


      Next thing I knew, I was in some class. Then, a girl I know, either Lauren or Julia, was walking down the steps ahead of me. She dropped a bunch of mini reeses cups on the steps and I made sure to step over them. She told me it didn't matter if I stepped on them, they had already hit the floor, so she couldn't eat them. I said, well, that may be so, but I don't want them on my shoe. I figured she would go buy some new ones in wrappers, but she had taken them from some bulk pack. I don't know how they kept in her pocket. I might have temporarily forgot it was a dream around this part, or faded in and out of awareness of that. The dream was really long, much longer than my memory of it shows. I was thinking to myself that I didn't know that girl had an eating problem.

      Then, a guy I never met was shaking my hand and giving me some kind of compliment or advice. In the context of the dream, I thought of him as a guy from my fraternity, but now that I look back, I didn't actually know him. he was somewhat big of a guy with grey hair.

      Then there was a part with two young girls in a cage, holding burgers on strings. A guy about 20 years old walked by and oogled at the burgers, then kept walking. As he did this, I felt tremendous fear, like he was a dinosaur and going to eat the girls.



      Then there was a part with two teenage boys bringing a slightly younger teenage girl somewhere. They were outdoors and there was a fence nearby. It was still daytime. I felt fear that they were going to molest the girl. At this point, I felt like I was following along invisibly, and I knew I was dreaming again, if I had lose awareness at one point. Now, I had a sense that I was more passively being shown this scene, like a T V show, as opposed to actively engaged in it. As in, I didn't really have a dream body. I was just a floating awareness, unable even to control my own floating. but I was aware of my actual condition being a dream. So, I just followed the kids, thinking that I might at some point materialize with a dream body and rescue the girl if need be.

      I remember somewhere along the course of these dreams, thinking to myself, well, this is just pointless. This is such a long dream, I will never remember all of it. I don't even see the point of this dream, anyway. I should just wake myself up. but then I remembered a rule I made with myself, that I was sort of honor bound to stay in the dream as long as I could. Even if I didn't want to stay, I had to do my best to stay in the dream as long as I could. So, I decided I wouldn't wake myself up.

      Next thing I knew, I was seeing a young teenage boy saying something. Then, credits rolled. The scene zoomed out and showed I had been watching this all on a T V. Suddenly, I knew I was in the living room of a cabin that it felt like I had been in earlier in the dream. I wish I remembered this all more clearly. A guy walked by with a dog and out a door to my right. The door had mainly glass, but then some wooden slat kind of things. I can't think of the name for this kind of door but it is a pretty normal door. With brown wood. There was a couch to the right of that door. As the guy left, I tried to tell him I thought my life purpose was to materialize and save that girl, but now I found out it was just a T V show. The guy didn't seem to care. I felt all alone for a moment. I wondered if I was supposed to commit suicide within this dream because I felt so empty and useless all of a sudden. I thought if there would be a dream gun somewhere. I knew that suicide within a dream would not kill me because I have read about how dying in dreams doesn't actually kill the person. So it was more symbolic or something. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

      Then, I felt empowered by the thought that I could just turn off the T V. All along, I could have just realized it was a T V show, grabbed the remote, and turned the power off. then, i could have done something else. So, the remote was right to the left of the T V and I picked it up. I forgot what hand. The power button was very clearly on the top right of the remote, and I pressed it. The T V went off for a split second, but popped back on. I was not surprised. That happens in dreams a lot, I turn off electronics or radios and they pop back on and I have to keep unplugging them from here or there. so I was expecting that. I pressed power off again and it went off again.

      Just then, someone came in with two dogs. They looked dark at first, and I felt scared. But then I saw that she was a beautiful dark skinned woman in a dark coat and hat with dark hair. She was 4 and a half to 5 feet tall if I could guess. One of her dogs had these shiny black spots of fur on an otherwise not shiny brown coat of fur. That was the dog to my right. The other dog was to my left. She started to comment on how we needed to have sex immediately. I was like, woah, cool. I was totally aware it was a dream. She began to undress very slowly. I wanted to rush her to undress, but I tried to just breathe. I could see her body and she was just getting her pants off. She was saying something about how she should have just stayed with a guy like me (Note to self #3*) all along and not gone for those other guys. Now, she was back, and she wasn't going to leave again, she said. I started to be aware for the first time in this dream that I was losing stability. This is part of why I wanted her to hurry up. I was getting anxious or too excited, but I was able to keep some level of cool, enough to extend the dream the amount I did. I started to tell her that I was losing stability and I needed her help to stay in the dream, and my level of panic about waking up kind of rose. At first, I felt like I might be able to stay in the dream and enjoy the next scene which might have ensued, but then, i felt myself waking up physically in my bed.
      (Note to self #4*)

      Then I was awake physically in my bed. Because I woke up straight from that scene, I was able to begin remembering the dreams right away. I couldn't remember as much as I would have wanted to. I wrote the dream out in full though and now I can go back to bed.






      Round 4 of dreams. .

      I fell back asleep without much trouble, on my left side. I had a dream and woke up, unable to remember even a little of it. I was still very groggy, and felt myself soon drifting to sleep again, so I just let it happen.

      I was in another dream that I don't remember a lot of the beginning of. My sister was there. Two other girls were there. I think I remember having a bad feeling but I am not quite sure. There may have been something with my college fraternity.

      Then I was having a conflict with a guy, I think. Maybe a conflict with my Dad. I think he wanted help carrying something to the back yard or something like that. Maybe he had some kind of a vacuum.

      Oh, snap, now I remember what happened. Someone else was up in my room with me and we had a drug like D M T. It was either actual D M T or I was just pretending it was. I haven't smoked weed or drank in over 4 years in waking life, by the grace of the goodness gracious. But i took this test tube or lab beaker kind of thing and put the drug in there and somehow vaporized it from that. I remember inhaling every last bit of vapor and feeling like, oh, crap, why did I do that? Even if I am only pretending, I really shouldn't be dabbling with drugs. I kind of started to feel funny. I think I looked in the mirror but I don't remember what I saw. Now that I remember that, it makes sense why I was so relieved when I found out next that it was just a dream.

      When I was downstairs, I got the idea to try putting my finger through my palm. It was a vivid dream already and it felt like waking life. But, I gave it a try and to my surprise, it poked through a little. I felt more like I was in waking life, and nothing would happen. So it was interesting for it to really go through to the other side. I wanted to show someone but then I didn't. I still didn't quite understand what it meant that it was a dream. I felt like I was still in waking life, but that something was just a little different. I went to look out the front door, which looked like it does in waking life. Then, I realized it was a dream, so that meant I could do more fun stuff or something. I saw a sugar cookie shaped like an easter bunny chocolate bar thing and grabbed that and started to eat it. it was delicious. My Mom was there and she was being really nurturing. Then, I wanted more food, but it felt like the other food was still stuck in my mouth, and I couldn't fully swallow it. Anyway, I went in the fridge, and there was a pile of food boxes. On top was a really well made birthday cake that said Mommy on it. this makes sense because my sister was just telling me how she decorated a cake for my Mom for her birthday, which was a few days ago. I thought of digging right into the cake, but decided not to, because even though it was a dream, it seemed too important to mess with. So I put the cake to the side. The next box was a circle of turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread, and I dug right into those. I still felt like I should leave some for everyone else, even if I was in a dream. As I ate, I felt like I couldn't eat fast enough. The food in the dream tasted so delicious. Then, there was a jar of Mustard to my right. I gobbed some of that on the sandwiches and ate that, and it was delicious, too. My Mom came by and asked me if I was going to put some Kevin on my food. I knew that Kevin was the word for Mayo but I don't know how those words got criss crossed. There was a small jar of Mayo near the mustard that I didn't have any of yet. Then, my Mom was saying more nice things to me as I ate. That was a really nice wish fulfilling dream. I told my Mom that I want to eat something I really want to eat! She said, I know, me too. (Note to self #5*) Then, I noticed my Mom's art was everywhere. I thought that I would really like to compliment her on her wonderful art. I could see shadows cast by her easels. I wanted to have the chance to tell her how great her art was, before the dream ended, but my mouth was so full. (Note to self #6*) I thought I would be able to enjoy some more food, and then I would get the chance to compliment my Mom on her art, which would probably be very fulfilling in a dream.
      Then, I woke up physically in my bed, with my mouth still moving, still tasting the sandwiches from the dream.

      It took me a moment to even think of the dreams. I don't know why my dream recall isn't the best tonight. I feel I dreamed a lot, but remembered so little. I hope I can sleep and dream once more, because I feel a bit like I had less dreams than usual. But it might be the case that I have had all the sleep my body will take, and it is morning. Usually I can't sleep past sun rise. But I will try to sleep again and see what happens.

      I am definitely happy about this L D because I like dream food. From the moment I thought of food, I was thinking of the food in our cabinets in waking life. Also, I eat very strict in waking life, never any cookies or even bread, for years straight now, and so eating things like this in a dream is a real treat. I eat this way in waking life more due to food allergies than anything else, and because I have a history with certain types of food triggering binges. Which, in the dream, I did feel like I was on a food binge, but because I knew it was a dream, I just enjoyed it. In waking life, being on a food binge like that would be pretty scary. So, I am grateful I am not on a food binge in waking life.

      Well, I didn't get back to sleep. I tried, but could tell the sun had risen without even looking, and I got up. So, now its time for the day.
    7. February 7, 2018 Non Lucid/Frags

      by , 02-07-2018 at 06:57 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      First dream I'm at richmond race track. Weird because I had a dream I was on the outside of it looking from a distance in my previous entry. I was watching from the middle of the track, floating and seeing cars race and crash into each other. I was also in the stands at some point. I might've also been in one of the viewing boxes too.

      Another dream I was in the parking lot of either a Walmart or Target with my friend Moo. We were talking about making the perfect song. I was flipping through songs on my phone looking for inspiration. I was also flipping through Ableton in different programs looking for the right sounds. I was hearing dubstep sounds as well as really high sounds. I was able to whip out a keyboard in front of me. I was playing very high notes and it sounded something like a Louis the Child song.

      I see Moo start to walk into the store so I follow him in. There are a bunch of people walking in and out pushing shopping carts. I see someone with a jug of mountain dew which makes me want to go look for one. We're walking in the store in different aisles. Eventually we end up on the second floor and I tell my buddy sam h. to look for this expansion of a game. We're looking and can't find it, but he keeps showing me these super hero games and is trying to get me to buy them, but I wont, specifically the hulk.

      We end up back upstairs and I think my mom is now with us. There are different sections blocked off so we can only go in certain patterns around the second floor. Suddenly, giant purple birds appear in the air above us, creating some sort of line with their wings standing side by side. They slowly start to swoop down which causes us to jump down off the ledge onto the first floor.
    8. January 30, 2018 Frags

      by , 01-31-2018 at 03:10 AM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      Note to self: write down dreams when you wake up so you don't forget them like an idiot throughout the day.

      One dream I was in my middle school, I think Kolby was there.

      Another dream I was at KC lakeview pool, there were a lot of people there working. I believe I was working too. It seemed to be early in the morning and the day progressed very quickly.

      Another dream I was trying to go to the beach with Moo and Owen but I was currently at home. I was debating whether or not I wanted to get back there. I think this might've been linked to the middle school dream in some way. We might've been drinking in the middle school, then came out onto the pool deck, and then I was at home with my Mom trying to go back to the middle school/beach/pool.
    9. December 8, 2017 Non-lucid

      by , 12-08-2017 at 06:47 AM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      I was at a casino resort for a long time. I don't remember much of the beginning of what I was doing there, but I know I was downstairs in the lobby moving around. I jumped outside to the back where the was lazy river which I jumped into. I was in there with some of my friends, I think JP was there, as we tried to swim against the current. The current was too quick so I jumped out to the right closer to the casino. I walk back into the casino and go into a hallway. I was following this group of people into a large and dark space. They had a dog with them. Come to think of it, there were a lot of dogs in this casino walking around. I eventually get upstairs to the second floor. The middle of the floor was open and around the outside were rooms were people were outside partying. I walk past this group of college kids. Some come up to me and ask me for their advice. They tell me that there's a kid sleeping on the couch in their room and they wanted to switch rooms so that the quiet people are downstairs and the kids partying are upstairs. I open my mouth to give them some advice but I look at one of the guys who's giving me this look that is telling me not to say anything. I decide not to say anything as I walk away. My walking starts to get very difficult, like my right leg was wrapped around my left. Eventually I get to my room. As I walk up I decide to jump forward, slamming into a huge window that shatters. I freak out and go into my room. I think maybe my mom was there with me. I ask her if there's a hottub downstairs and she says "yes."
      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. SA2 And Roaming In The Sewers

      by , 09-06-2017 at 03:33 AM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      For some reason I'm playing Pyramid Cave with Knuckles on my Wii (With a GameCube controller). The stage is essentially a large halo around two bottomless pits. One in the center and one surrounding the outer perimeter of the ring.

      I'm gliding around the stage, and this one gust of wind keeps knocking me into the bottomless pit as I attempt to speedrun the stage. I eventually get fed up and hop into a yellow toilet with Knuckles still being in control.

      The perspective then changes to first person as I (In my dumb, dreamy state) am holding a GameCube controller in my hand; now controlling Gamma from Sonic Adventure. I'm in a yellow, empty sewage pipe and I'm walking from one side to the other.

      After reaching a dead end, I then decide to turn back where I came from. An air of uneasyness bestows upon me as I look around every corner, as if I was imagining something was gonna jump out and scare me. Gamma disappeared at that point and I was there, alone, in the sewer pipe.

      I make it to the end of the pipe (Where for some reason there is a broken down toilet inside a stall and an unused sink next to it.

      My mom and her 'friend' (Who didn't exist in real life but was just a DC) then open a door. I then breathe a sigh of relief. They start talking to me about something, but I go back out through the door, where the dream then ended.


      Notes

      1. I seemed to have a dreamlike acknowledgement of the dreamscape. As I feared something would pop out at me because it was a dream and all part of my imagination.

      2. The color yellow was very much prevalent in the dream. Everything in the sewer was yellow, except for the one puddle of water I stepped in.
    11. Distant Galaxy

      by , 08-05-2017 at 03:44 AM (Dream)
      Key:
      Side Notes (Side Notes)
      Title
      Dream
      Lucid
      Distant Galaxy

      On the balcony, outside was Infinite blackness.
      I'm talking to a family member, in the corner of my eye, I see a galaxy with planets. I want to take a picture of that!
      I don't want to get too close or I'll drift off into Outer Space.
      I step near the ledge, it's hard to breathe over here.
      Later, I was talking to my Mom, there was a giant tank of water, there was a Shark eating another Shark and I didn't want to see that.

      Black Box with Medicine

      I was at a hospital, I picked up my medicine box.
      There was another belonging to someone else, I hesitated but grabbed it. I gave my medicine box to a woman who
      accompanied me. I have to get this box to this guy.
      The medicine box said "Floor 9", can't get up there fast with stairs, so i'll have to go on an elevator.
      I dash to the hallway where there is 3 or 4 elevators. The first one on my right looks suspicious.
      I feel like the elevator will collapse....so I decided to pick the next one, on the left.
      I push the 'up' button and the elevator opens, I walk inside.
      There's 9 floors, 9 buttons, I found it!
      The 9 button is glowing and I push it.
      This floor is different from the other floors...it's like a mix between a cafeteria from school and a church.
      I am greeted by this priest, who insists I go on stage, I do.
      'I don't have time for this' I think.
      I am nervous, the spectators are waiting and worse of all the priest is stroking my hair.

      --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      I woke up creeped out, I really have nothing much to say except: how does my Mind come up with this?
      August 4th, 2017

      Updated 08-05-2017 at 03:46 AM by 91349 (spelling)

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    12. Hell is in an Uproar

      by , 06-11-2017 at 04:40 PM (The Secret Life of Demons)
      Building

      In an office building, looking around. Actually, feeling a bit lost and uncertain of what I'm looking for. While here I see my mom in one of the offices. I wait in the hallway for her to come out and pretend to appear surprised when she calls my name. I turn around and we chat for a moment about nothing specific. I can feel that she's happy to see me... I'm less pleased to see her. I love her and think she's great. It's just unfortunate she's working in Hell and it's this aspect that saddens me. They treat her decently and it's a mutually beneficial arrangement, it's just unfortunate. She has to get back to work so I tell her I'm just running errands and I'll see her later.

      Escort

      I'm still in Hell, but now I'm pushing a cart with a few supplies in it. I need to take it somewhere. A man is escorting me; I'm rather fond of him for no particular reason. He seems warm. We arrive at an elevator and I'm hesitant to ride with the other riders. They are surrounded by darkness and I can't tell where the darkness is originating from; whether it's the elevator itself, an individual inside the elevator, or the collective within the elevator. I know enough to hesitate, and my escort informs me we'll take the next one. I exhale a sigh of relief. I didn't really want to explain my preference to wait, so I'm relieved he reads me exceptionally well.

      We wait, then I enter the empty elevator. My escort has vanished and I'm with two women. Once we enter, a secondary door forms. I walk through the elevator and start laughing. I'm on another level without having to go up or down, just around. The two women I'm with are confused, so I explain we're on the right level. They're still confused. They don't seem very adaptive to changing reality. I explore on my own.

      Starving Demons

      I'm observing a group of three women eating at an exclusive restaurant. Still in Hell. They are visibly disgruntled and I realize they've run out of money. They can't afford to eat more than an appetizer. A fourth woman arrives and I'm staring at her beige colored necklace around her neck, it's quite interesting--looks like a belt. The fourth woman offers to pay for their meal. The three women, as it turns out, had planned poorly resulting in their current unfortunate series of events. The fourth woman had prepared by being more than evil (though I still believe she's a demon, not all demons are created equal). The fourth woman had been kind to others, regardless of origin (she was nice to the non-demons), and as the world changed she was able to change with it. The other three had not been kind and now they are unable to sustain themselves (food source went away).

      Possession

      I'm observing a pair of demons outside. One is normal and nice. The other demon is possessed by hatred. Understandable. The nice one is trying to convince the other one to abandon the hatred as it's consuming her and will eventually claim her life. The nice one retrieves what appears to be the child of the possessed demon. Makes sense as family bonds are a decent method to tame emotional hatred. This doesn't work and the possessed demon is on the verge of attacking its offspring. It's very unfortunate to see things have escalated to this degree. I'm considering stepping into the body of the possessed in order to pull it out of that state. It just needs a gentle tug--but I never get to see the outcome as it's time for me to wake.

      Notes

      My dreams have always involved Hell being the winning political party. I've been a permanent resident of Hell, but I've also resided in lighter areas too. As I grew up I traveled vast distances and met many wonderful beings, all over. I came to understand that origin and residency don't necessarily make individuals good or bad. Individuals choose who they want to be. There are demons in Heaven, just as there are angels in Hell. It's a horrific race war, even on the spiritual planes. Now that Heaven has the upper hand due to recent events, the demons are struggling to adapt. Their food source has been severely diminished and their hunting methods and way of life must change or they will perish. I'm here to ensure the demons survive. Why? Because demons are spirits too. Life should be protected and everyone deserves the opportunity to live. Personally, I find it hilarious to see demons miserable. It's a nice change of pace.
      Categories
      memorable
    13. Queen of the Hunt has Anxiety

      by , 06-09-2017 at 01:41 PM (The Secret Life of Demons)
      Forest

      I arrive at a location near a mountain; lots of green, many trees. I pass a few familiar people, but they're more like spirits (appearance is indifferent, but the mentality was profound). Most appear busy with their own agendas, but it's peaceful. As I move closer to camp I can see people gathering and the energy shifting. Many more of us are arriving and so I stop to observe the increased movement. I realize the reason for the arrival of my people; we're receiving visitors.

      MoSh

      Shred arrives, but I don't recognize that it's him in the dream. I merely stare at him as he walks past me and doesn't say anything. I call out to him, he stops walking and looks straight at me but there's no sense of recognition; he's viewing me like a stranger. I'm also staring at him, trying to figure out why he's so familiar to me. We stare for a long while at one another. I'm uncertain how this occurs but he begins ... chasing me? Not in a bad way? Not in a good way either?

      I enter my camp to evade him because the energetic exchange of being chased startles me. I've been hunted in the past and that mindset he's holding reminds me of past experiences...this internal dynamic causes me to race through the encampment, through a maze of doors, without stopping. I step out to detach from the panicked body.

      My perspective is following a few feet behind the fleeing body. I'm wondering what the fuck happened and I sorta get it. The energy unfolding was too similar to past memories and it triggered anxiety. Makes sense; being hunted for death sorta does that to a person. MoSh may have accidentally held that vibration without understanding the impact.

      Data?

      I reach the top of the encampment and watch as the body I was inhabiting tries to calm itself. The sky is beautiful up here; though I spend less time looking up and more time assessing myself. I notice I don't look like me. This body I'm using looks very tall and lean (sort of Avatar-like, but the body wasn't blue and there was no tail). I look sort of Native American, but a distorted version of it. It's pretty, but more graceful gazelle pretty than American pretty. As the panic subsides, a man approaches. I'm viewing the man as I'm still separated from my body. Personally, I'm wondering how he made it up this far and it doesn't look like the Shred, but I can't tell who it is.

      The body I was inhabiting is clearly still sketchy. She moves around the space without putting her back to the man. The man approaches, stops about twenty feet away from her, and reveals something he's holding. She goes to him and they exchange a few small words. The dynamic of this man calms her (he's tall, a bit stoic, quiet, reminds me of Data due to lack of emotional excitement). The body (hers) is calm enough for me to enter it and so I do. The man and I talk for a bit about weapons.

      He's asking to bring something for us to practice with and wants to know what I want to use. I think it over briefly before asking him to bring something cheap. He and I will spar, I chose archery, he agreed he would bring arrows for next time. Cheap is ideal because it's sparring and not an actual battle; also, I have my own arrows so he would be bringing the items for himself mostly. He excuses himself as he needed to leave to attend to a separate errand. I'm collecting my arrows as I'm going to spend some time up here to practice on my own; alone. We say goodbye and I watch him leave. I'm thinking of how nice he seems and I'm looking forward to our next meeting.

      Death

      I'm at a hospital with my dad, in my hands is a biography and collective work of an artist. The artist has recently died and the book was compiled for his death. I'm browsing through the pages looking at the various pieces of artwork. Most of it is drawn in pen, but the line work is very lovely. One picture I find quite sad--the artist is in bed, the media is black with some lines of a crisp blue. Nothing is obviously sad about the picture, only that I happen to know this was a portrait of the artist as he was lying on his deathbed. To me, it's sad as it indicates the last artwork before he died (there will be no more). I've never been partial to endings.

      A nurse comes into our darkly lit room. She informs us we're going to radiology, they want a picture of his liver. I collect myself and prepare to follow them out of the room. The dream shifts.

      Catch 22

      I open up a connection to my mom to explain what's going on with Dad. I'm viewing her and she looks like she's in a different state (location) for some reason. I tell her we're on our way to radiology and why. Her reply:

      It's funny, no one is afraid of death. Death is not something people fear. People go to the hospital not to find out they are dying, they already know they are dying. They go to the hospital to delay death. What can the hospital (medicine) truly offer? They try to offer time, but they often don't understand death enough to grant time or understanding of the process unfolding.

      It's humorous to me she is teaching me about the process of dying. Her comfort level is high and I suppose she's right; the misconception is death is something to fear when in reality it is a step up from the predicament of living. Seems a bit quirky how backward things are, yet I'm still quieted by the prospect of Dad engaging the process. Perhaps I'm merely jealous he gets to go while I'm stuck dealing with the bullshit of living. Not that I idolize death; but death (abandonment of the physical body) makes everything I do more efficient. Hence, my work is slower with a physical self and this annoys me. Though, if dead I wouldn't be able to share my research so it's a hilariously cruel Catch 22 for me.
      Categories
      memorable
    14. 17-02-24 Sith Girl, Dry Riverbed

      by , 02-27-2017 at 02:30 AM
      I had visions of a red-headed young woman, who was a Sith. Darth Vader's apprentice. She was hurt while on assignment. Later on, I found her (not the all-knowing observer anymore, but as my own character). I still knew what she was, though. I think I helped her up, and wanted to get her out of there. I told her "Lord Vader won't be pleased". I knew her Sith career was finished. The Sith do not tolerate failure. I doubted whether helping a Sith was a good idea. She could hurt me, if she wanted.

      I was sitting in the grass, next to a dried out riverbed overgrown with grass. It used to be a big river, reinforced with concrete, and it used to have ships going up and down its length. It looked somewhat post-apocalyptic. I had a little house on the grassy hill next to the river. My mother was there, and told me "they" (the government?) would start working on restoring the river, which would cause quite a bit of noise for weeks/months. I thought to myself that I didn't mind, I rented the place and could leave whenever I wished.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. My mom in a LIMO, A magic tree, Gypsies herbal meds, Investing money

      by , 02-15-2017 at 08:50 PM
      I've been very busy IRL & had 2 of my grandkids all weekend so I've been rather busy & then I had to sleep a lot Monday & Tuesday because I pushed myself too hard this weekend. But I did have a whole lot of fun! Not much by way of dreams due to my pain meds.

      ***I was living in a cabin in the woods. I'm asleep & think Mike is in the room but instead it's my mom. She said she just dropped by cuz her & my dad were driving through in their RV. I told her I could make her some coffee & I looked into the refrigerator to find something to feed her. I said "hey, there is some beer in here if you want some." I say this half talking to myself & become lucid because Mike & I don't drink alcohol. There wouldn't be beer anywhere we would be staying. I say out loud "we don't drink anymore". I then notice that the fridge is almost bare & the food looks old. Almost in shock I look up on the top shelf & then lean into the fridge because I see there is no "top" of the fridge & I only see the cabinets above it. She tells me she is going into town for food. I'm still contemplating the fridge, kind of in awe. I laugh because I'm thinking, "well isn't this a strange dream!" I realize she is still talking as she leaves & adds "dad is out off doing something" just as I am wondering where he is. I go out the sliding door & I'm on a deck looking out & see a huge tree. I walk down & look at it in wonder. I know it's the magical tree from the book I'm reading. This is so cool!! I then look to the right of the tree & there is a limo. I open the door & my mom is sitting in the back seat behind the drivers side putting her feet up on the back of the passenger seat. I start laughing because I just saw a woman do this in a show I watched & my mom is all slim now like she was when I was a kid. I got woke up by Meesha Cat so I'm disappointed that I didn't get to play w/ the magic tree!

      **I was w/ a group of gypsies. I've been watching a series w/ gypsies & werewolves. I am in a kitchen sorting plants so that we don't eat the poisonous ones. The man in charge gives me a compliment & said "Now that's how people should be." He was talking about me caring about others & not just myself.

      **I was in a school where ppl were turning into dust after they ad found ways to invest money to make money to sustain an income instead of working. This was to free up time to enjoy life. They were sharing in detail how to do this but I couldn't catch all of how to do that. I had come in toward the end of the conversation. The leader & his followers would turn back to dust afterwards. Apparently this happened often here. I walked around the school inside & outside when they appeared out of thin air again. But unfortunately Meesha Cat woke me up.
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