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Morning of July 29, 2015. Wednesday.



My dream before this, as is sometimes the case, is just a bit too surreal to even begin to describe correctly, though I would not say abstract. It involved something about another planet (or perhaps alternate universe) with at least three larger unusual lifeforms, one like some sort of composite of snake, slug, and something else. I and about three others are exploring the area and a couple different creatures approach us (I assume by either scent detection or movement) but there is no direct threat. We actually seem to be some sort of creatures in a couple scenes. It is hard to relate. The region is not that defined and seems somewhat like a miniature mountain and cliff area. One of us as a creature first seems terrified (of the snake-slug-whatever) but others of us (as creatures) are able to communicate with the other creature and it goes on its way.

At any rate, I shift into a more “normal” dream and am in a room that (yet again) seems loosely modeled after features from the house in Cubitis (where I have not lived since late June of 1978). This time the carport area is apparently inside the house though the window (of the internal wall) of my oldest son’s room makes it seem like our present home on W Street. (Otherwise his room would be modeled after my room as a teenager).

For seemingly the “entire night” I am playing around with some sort of unusual compact disc. It has a pattern on its surface much like the image in this entry on the playing side (rather than more uniform bands of color). For some reason, I “recognize” it as a chaordic disc that can be “played” by randomly moving the mouse so that the laser goes all over the surface through random data rather than just reading it normally.

Doing this (and I have no clue why) results as one continuous combined event in various very short pieces of music, voices (mostly female) uttering one phrase, fractal patterns forming out of quickly sequenced images, and so on, with possibly what may even be some correct new form of mathematics related to fractals and chaos-related calculus (which I do not work on as much as I did about twenty years ago). I can clearly hear everything in perfect stereo though the imagery is two-dimensional as on my real computer monitor (and I do not attempt to “project” into the imagery).

Again, I am not sure why I have gotten into playing around like this. It may even be originally (at least in one data track) some sort of portmanteau movie though also integrated with scientific data and other features. Some of the images on the screen are cloud forms mixed with Mandelbrot patterns. It is almost like trying to make sense out of watching frames of several different movies at once out of about a hundred total while listening to one or half a measure of various audio recordings.

I eventually notice my oldest son’s computer coming on in the next room (via the window in the internal wall) except that it is only white lines slowly appearing in sequence on a black screen as it boots up (as on an old MS-DOS system). I am surprised my son is up so early in the morning to look at his computer (as it is not yet dawn). My computer’s monitor had been facing north (as I am looking south) and my son’s computer’s monitor is facing east. Yet again, I am “fooled” (or I fool myself, more like) into integrating my Cubitis home into a recent dream setting with my typical in-dream amnesia of real-life present locations (as I am not lucid at any point). However, no composite is ever quite the same as any other even after hundreds of variations, which is intriguing in a way.

Early Evening of July 11, 2015. Saturday.



I had been working on a project with a large set of new music tracks and got stuck at trying to create the rather low-pitched cuíca-like sound from Peter Tosh’s “Rock With Me” (though I was able to copy most of the percussion rhythms otherwise in the way I wanted) and have become frustrated since nothing I can find, no sample, no actual instrumentation attempts, sounds anything quite like it. I lower the pitch of the MIDI cuíca (as my main otherwise very realistic drum kit in SFZ sounds nothing like a proper cuíca sound and is too smooth - and there is no feasible way to control note lengths, up or down stroke, pitch variation, or other important dynamics - thus a cuíca sample or MIDI format or even an audio loop for that matter, is mostly useless) and sequence it to match the organ bubble rhythm, but it just is not suitable and does not have a viable feel in the track. I have it set to exactly 86 bpm and do not feel like taking the sound out of the actual track, which is probably not very feasible because of how much it blends in. (In my dream, it seems that a yellow grape tomato is also called a “cuíca” for some reason.)

Even though it is rather low-pitched, I somehow am able to duplicate the sound in-dream with a small yellow grape tomato (“Sun Drop”) by holding it between my index and middle fingers and rubbing it with my thumb. This seems a bit unusual to get a low-pitched cuíca sound by rubbing a small tomato as such, but it works. I become aware of the plan to integrate it into a musical recording. More than one little yellow tomato is required, as once the eighth snare hit occurs on some verses, it needs to be popped to create the very light splashy cymbal sound, which is almost inaudible in the original track other than the intro pattern of the kick, snare, and cymbal prior to the start of the song. At one point, I eventually seem to be in a classroom setting (though no one else is around) with relevant algorithms written on the green chalkboard. This is the kind of rather ridiculous non-lucid dream I get when taking a nap earlier in the evening, especially when eating something I am mildly allergic to (in this case, chicken and peanut butter sandwiches, one of my favorite snacks, though an older brother was more allergic to peanut butter than I am). I still have not solved the cuíca issue, even after watching about a dozen videos with experts and performers, mostly in Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese. It is probably something in the back of my mind but has yet to emerge. I also seem to recall a “Fat Boys” cassette from the 1980s where they copied a very similar low-pitched cuíca rhythm, though vocally.

By some strange coincidence, “cuíca” is Portuguese for a type of small opossum which is known to make a high-pitched sound. How amusing.

I was trying to trigger a lucid dream in which I'd re-encounter my dream guide, but instead I got a non-lucid nightmare.

3am

Dream Two non-lucid

I had a dream I could see Mittens (my cat who passed away) every once and a while and Mom finally took a video of it and the girl from the ring was appeared in it, with this horrifying music, and eventually I couldn't shut it off...

I liked the music. It was very beautiful. But in its context it was horrifying.

The whole time I was thinking, could I edit out the part with Sadako, or will it just revert back to the normal video?

The video started off with me petting Mittens. Then, she went behind the counter to chase a spider and Sadako's hair was under the dishwasher. Suddenly, you could see her face peer out *shudders*. Then, the video skipped to this scene in the sky? I don't remember. Then back to Sadako, with her getting closer and closer to the camera. Originally I refused to watch the entire video, but when I finally did I couldn't turn it off anymore.

I felt bad because at the end of the dream, when I couldn't shut off the video, I handed it to my mom or brother for him or her to deal with whatever curse it brings. I was showing it to my brother, but I think at the last moment it was my mom holding the camera.

Dream One non-lucid

There was this online course, but it happened on a device like a Pokewalker. So all the text for the course was on this small device, one line at a time. I just thought it was the most ridiculous thing and complained.

I wasn't enrolled in the course. I think my sister-in-law was looking at schools and saw the course.

Two women are speaking. One of them, the only human in this dream, has made a deal to trade places with someone. But it's being explained to her now that the person she's traded places with was fated to die at a certain age; they were to be what's referred to as the tithe to hell. That's now her job. At 24, she's already past that age.

The woman explaining this to her sounds amused at her situation, but she resents the tithe to hell itself - doesn't like having to submit to someplace else's authority. The human picks up on this resentment, and makes a suggestion. She believes that as a human, she can access the place they refer to as hell in a way that this woman can't; there's something stored there that allows that place to hold authority here. If she could reach it, there'd be no need for the tithe. It's unlikely to work, but still an intriguing offer.

Scene change. The human's standing at the back of a line passing through a small gate in a rock tunnel. The other people here are goblin-like creatures, and she's wearing the same type of clothes as theirs for a disguise, along with an eyepatch - the eyepatch is important because the people here all bear wounds proudly. Although the guard at the gate is familiar with most of the people passing through, talking like they're old friends, he apparently isn't bothered by a stranger's presence; he waves her through without a second look.

Listening to a song with the line, "I ran away from my vows."

Morning of June 10, 2015. Wednesday.



I am in a non-lucid state, though the setting is extremely well-rendered and most of it clearer even though it is mostly unfamiliar. My wife and family and I are living in a different type of building and had apparently moved here recently. The (fictional) residence has the typical “impossible” apartment-related situation that I have dreamt of all my life - where strangers are present in what would be almost the same living space. At one point, I am aware of an unknown older male on the other side of the main large room. Our living area is only divided from his by a curtain that hangs down to about four inches from the floor. I am fixing this curtain arrangement (for more privacy) while sitting on the floor, by pulling it fully down, as part of the bottom edge was draped over a cardboard box higher up (about a foot or so).

At one point, I am using a screwdriver to scrape up old soap residue from a floor tile and as I do, the tile actually comes off, though I manage to align it back where it should be. The appearance and movement (and manual effort) is very realistic.

I also find some toys that the last tenants left behind, some smaller toy cars in a bag, which I think I will put on my youngest son’s large (fictional) table for a pleasant surprise.

In the last stage of my dream, which is very clear, there are several large radios (or boomboxes) set up along the wall for some reason, all side by side on a large table. After a short time, they all start playing at the same time, fairly loudly, and mostly different songs (at least four). I think one song is Fats Waller and another a country song, possibly George Strait. I am annoyed because the radios seem to have been connected to some sort of timing system by the previous tenants and I cannot work out what to do with the setup. I am also somewhat embarrassed (as I do not want to be seen as making so much noise on purpose, as we had just moved in recently relative to my dream’s back story), as the other tenant is home, though I do not go through the curtain to his side at any point.

I try pushing the buttons and after a time, when I turn one radio off, another comes back on and this goes on for several minutes (so that it seems impossible to have all turned off at the same time) - and I am thinking that some sort of cable system (linked with a timer) is connected to all of them and they will play at certain times no matter what you do. It is somewhat amusing in conscious afterthought. The clarity of the power indicator lights is quite precise. This is similar to situations where I cannot turn all the lights off, which I have read in other people’s journals where they are experiencing the exact same details in the same way and with the same associations.

Out of the blue I remembered a dream I had a couple of nights ago.

I just remember a certain part where I was sitting in a pretty bedroom and noticed that there was music playing around me. I really liked the sound of it. I must have been lucid because I remember thinking, "I need to remember this music and take it back to the real world when I wake up." It was sort of short and repetitive, had voices but no words. I hummed it again and again so I would remember.

When I woke up I was disappointed that I couldn't remember. But after a few minutes I was able to pull it out of my mind. And I can still hum it now, a couple of days later. It was much more complex in the dream, but I remember the melody.

Now this is where someone with real musical talent could use lucid dreaming for new song writing ideas. In LDs you could turn on a radio and hear the next song you are going to write. It's an amazing idea.

No lucid dreams for me last night. Also no epic adventure dreams. Back to regular dreams.

In one of my dreams my friend Sherri and I were moving into this apartment together in Hollywood. The apartment not only had a loft but had three levels. I was telling Sherri that I had never seen an apartment this big (dream sign: big or unusual houses). I told her my plans on fixing up the loft area really cool with these little lights.

Later, we were walking around the huge pool that was part of the apartment complex. We were looking for some clean towels, like they have at hotels. As we walked we started singing Scarborough Fair. We got some good harmony going and sounded good, so I wasn't embarrassed singing in front of all the people at the pool.

Then we saw a group of guys surrounding a younger guy. The younger guy was skinny and looked about 16. The older guys were all picking on him and being really mean.

I couldn't stand it. I needed to do something. I wasn't lucid, so I didn't know I had super powers. So I did the first thing that I could think of. I pushed my way past the bullies to where the younger guys was, and I put my arm around him and glared at the other guys. "What do you think you're doing to my boyfriend??" I demanded.

They all stopped and looked at me...then at the younger guy...then at me. They had a look of disbelief on their faces.

I wasn't sure if they were surprised because they thought I was too pretty or too old to be with this guy. Or maybe it was because I was glaring at them like I would kill them if they did anything else to him. Slowly they all walked away. The skinny guy smiled at me. He looked quite surprised himself, but also grateful. I felt glad to have been able to help.

I can't remember where the dream went from there.

I'm walking through the basement of a tower, grey stone walls. There's some kind of chaos going on on the main floors above me, a distraction while I was taking care of something in the dungeon on the next floor down - but now that it's time to go, I want to avoid getting caught in whatever's happening on the main level.

There's two people waiting for me with two different escape routes - neither of them knows exactly what I was doing here, neither of them knows me personally, and neither them knows about the other. There's a person I work with who'd arranged for a man to meet me by the stairs up to the main floors, but I'm having second thoughts about trusting him. And there's a woman waiting by a wooden door that leads elsewhere; she's not involved at all, she just wants to escape whatever's going on upstairs and is willing to take me with her, recognizing me as a friend of a friend. I believe she would be more sympathetic to what I was doing here, if it came out.

Deciding to go with that woman at the wooden door, I'm doubling back, passing by the stairs leading down to the dungeon. I debate whether I have time to go back down there - there had been something else I'd wanted to look into down there, though it's not a priority. I start down those steps, but it becomes so dark I can't see, and I have a vague impression of massive chains. I can hear a woman's voice crying. I decide I don't have time to be fumbling around in the dark, and I head back up the stairs.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A man is looking at a wall recently painted green in an attempt to emulate some other place, and talking to someone about a man he knows, saying that while he wasn't looking, the man went and got married to people so unsuited - people, plural, meaning both the wife and the stepkids - people he'll have to keep secrets from.

I'm watching light play over the features of the man in question in an interesting way. He's looking at a signet ring with an image of a rose, which he's just removed from a hiding place in the base of a lamp. I'm hearing a kind of tinkling sound like a music box repeating a single measure over and over again.

There's a woman who is retrieving a certain object for me, while I watch in third person. The object is in a cave, in the possession of this large, strange creature who she's speaking to now - she's got two or three people with her. He's willing to make a deal. But after discussing terms for a while, the woman ultimately refuses; she isn't willing to agree to his terms. He accepts this, clearly believing she'll be back eventually - she has no other choice, she needs that object.

She and the others start to leave, but one of the others evidently has their own plan - another woman starts playing a strange kind of music that puts the creature into a kind of trance. She encourages the leader of their group to simply take the object. The leader is conflicted, so the woman with the music does it herself. The creature's trance is deep enough to allow her to get close to the object, but it snaps out of it once it recognizes that they're stealing from it. They run.

The cave is in the center of a sort of maze of tunnels, but although it looks confusing, the tunnels are all interconnected; as long as they keep running in the same general direction, it doesn't matter which tunnel they choose, they'll get out eventually.

They come out of the tunnels into a place that I think of as a certain type of dream, a sort of desert-like place, barren brown rock, with various dreamers here and there like landmarks. In one dream, there's a family in a yard where grapevines are growing; two heavyset old men who are brothers, and two grandchildren playing a little distance away. One brother leans in to say something to the other in a language I don't recognize, and the eyes of the one listening turn all black, which I recognize as an outward sign of the usual effect of staying in this particular type of dream too long. He's the dreamer here, these others are illusions. They see the group passing near the edges of the dream and just watch them.

The group comes across a dreamer they know, a man who the leader of this group is in love with. The others hang back on a ledge overlooking his dream, but she approaches him. He's sitting in front of the ruins of a small house - it's meant to be their house, his and hers, though they've never actually lived together outside of this dream. There's dead bodies lying around outside, things he killed, but too late to save this place from them. When he sees her there, he says, "I tried," with a sort of smile, as if this was inevitable and the only surprising thing was that he tried to save this place at all.

Then he sees the object she's stolen, and there's a shift - he stops paying attention to the storyline of the dream he's in. He asks her why she went to all the trouble of finding that thing, when there's no guarantee that the man she got it for will be grateful for it. There's an association here with trying to help a scorpion - the story of the scorpion and the frog, doing what's in your nature rather than what's in your best interest. She agrees with him, there's no guarantee that this will have the result she wants, but she wants to help the 'scorpion' anyway. She makes a joke about having a weakness for older men - lifetimes older, in this case. Her man doesn't find this funny.

Morning of May 12, 2015. Tuesday.



I had a very peaceful and enjoyable long dream considering the recent NBN fiasco just outside our window where there was also a long loud argument later today between a young female and a lineman about why the telephones were not back on after a day.

In my dream, I am in Tel Aviv, Israel with my wife and several people I knew more about in my school days, ready to become involved in a long music concert as the main performer (and I switch instruments at times). Some first members of the audience (mostly female in traditional Persian dress for some reason) stand on a mezzanine viewing us getting together on the first floor stage (though there are eventually more people on the first floor prior to the concert beginning). This makes me slightly wary at first, though I feel very assertive and confident throughout the rest of my dream even though things seem weird on a secondary level at times (like a wavering dream within a dream that is somewhat like having two or more dreams at the same time; fairly rare, but experienced enough to know the phenomenon in a familiar sense).

My dream concert follows the general pattern of a recurring song set which varies in some versions of the scenario. Before we start, I notice two (unfamiliar) dark-haired girls, seated on the floor and leaning against the wall, who seem to be faithful fans of my group, though the group does not even seem to have a name (at least not one I can remember in this case). Oddly, one of the girls is wearing sunglasses, which takes me a moment to perceive as such - because the sunglasses have painted-on human eyes, a bit larger than normal, so that her appearance is somewhat eerie. The other girl is missing her left eye, which instead, is a mostly featureless area with barely discernible wrinkles. I do not comment on either oddity. There is also a light-haired girl who seems a bit too pale and I ask her where she is from. She comments that she does not actually live in Israel but that her family is on a vacation.

I notice a male seated at a picnic table and facing me (though talking to others on his right about technical details of our upcoming show) at the second picnic table back on the opposite side from me. He is seemingly a member of my music group and I contemplate whether or not he is Orlando Jones (the actor from “Sleepy Hollow”; the television series) or my friend from middle school days who is now a well-known singer in Germany in real life. I conclude that he is my old friend Roosevelt and it is very good to see him here.

When we are ready, we seem to go into ad-lib or practice modes now and then, making the songs quite a bit longer and more interesting, with many dynamics that are not in the original recordings. These new versions of the songs (via my imagination) have gradually built up over the years, becoming more and more theatrical and intriguing in their fullness. At one point, an unknown older male with a harmonica infuses some additional nice-sounding impromptu bars. In the offset (dream within a dream) there is the focus on at least two members playing cereal boxes like guitars, held at an angle. Guitar-like music can still be heard in this case.

The first song performed is “Speak to the Sky” (originally done by Rick Springfield), which typically starts out with me playing the opening on a banjo and soon joined in crescendo (in the next verse) by drums, keyboards, and other vocalists (doing occasional intense harmonics that repeat part of a phrase I sing now and then, such as “I am blind” just after my phrasing, or fuller phrases such as “seems awful hard to find” at the same time as my phrasing). The audio of my voice seems amazingly well-rendered in my dream but does not sound like my real voice and also has an unidentifiable accent (almost like a composite of French and Romanian) - and there are also a few unusual “glitches” here and there (typical of dreams). However, in this particular dream, instead of a banjo, it seems I am actually playing the opening on a ukelele with somewhat of an odd muted sound at one point (though there are a few “resets” and offset “dream within a dream” sections). (“Doesn’t always rhyme” is usually done with more of a longer pentuplet feel, requiring a brief change in the otherwise 4/4 timing.)

The second song we perform is “Dear Prudence” (originally a Beatles song), where I start out playing something that sounds a bit like the style of Jeff Lang (the best slide guitarist I have ever heard) but then I quickly switch to an electric bass by grabbing it from the person on my left when the song changes from the sustained beginning bass notes to the intimate, almost overwhelming bass riff (possibly one of the best bass lines I have ever heard, the second being from Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff”).

After the first two songs (and in one “reset” there are also unusual-sounding horn sections - almost cinematic in style), my dream begins to decay into unusual “resets” and repeating patterns and becoming somewhat abstract, but remains a very positive dream experience until I wake.

Busy week. Posting a super short summary for reference.

02 May

# 1: With Rumplestiltskin again, this time lucid. We talk and explore around.

# 2: aggression induced ld, dodging bullets by slowing time and phasing. Later went after the attackers using super strength.

05 May

# 3: distractions . Later recalled the basic smell task - found an aromatic candle, which unfortunately didn't smell at all. Then smelled a little bottle of shampoo next to it, smelled like one of those aroma essential oil extracts.

07 May

# 4 (++): Wild + deild and unidentified ld fragment: remembered the basic task again, smelled the air - cold and fresh with a gentle tree scent. Met a friend - actually imposter DC, talked a bit, listened to dream music in the distance. Memories of a cave scene.

Morning of April 24, 2015. Friday.



In a less physically defined state, I am “remembering” my completion of the most recent education progress report. Everything seems as is in reality except that I am aware I have added an mp3 file on the companion CD. It is the recording of Roger Miller’s “Walking in the Sunshine” which I heard very often in my childhood. I pause and think on this for awhile. The CD is already made (false memory) so I cannot remove it if I need to, because it begins to dawn on me that I should not have this recording in the report since I had not written and recorded it (typical goofy in-dream “logic”). Over time, I mentally “fix” this and the CD is as it should be.

Morning of April 10, 2015. Friday.



This was a very long meandering dream without much plot continuity, though somewhat fun all in all. Though it is not lucid, I am still aware of making most of it via some sort of background focus, which is probably why it goes a bit “haywire” as dreams tend to do when my own thoughts shift, sometimes with transient expectancy of the dream itself. Since childhood, a certain kind of dream I have several times a year relates to an older time period being altered by anachronistic features (typically caused by my thoughts shifting or becoming more aware while making a dream), though this one changes in somewhat of a humorous unexpected way regarding my in-dream role and character.

It starts out with some sort of experiment in an unknown indoor location. A portal is opened after several other insignificant events and conversations occur. I have a desire to go through this portal, which is like a glimmering two-dimensional doorway or wavering plane that is just a bit taller than I am. Someone in unusual plaid pants goes through before me, but after a short time, he is seen to be going into a television that is barely big enough for his waist to clear (probably influenced by a similar movie scene relating to being “stuck”, in “Skinny and Fatty” from 1958 and “Housebound” from 2014), though he manages to go through into the implied alternate world or time. After this, my dream shifts to a western setting, similar to the set of “Gunsmoke”, and it is seemingly the 1800s, possibly the 1880s, because I believe it is mentioned at least once.

There does not seem to be any drama other than a horse having a problem with his front right foot. He goes and rests in the corner of a barn and there is something about being fed a special food to accelerate healing though this scenario becomes odd as he eventually seems to have human-like toes, which will make it difficult to put on a horseshoe.

I fly around in several different positions (including sideways) about ten feet from the ground for some time, including in and out of a hayloft from the outside. At one point, I seem to be in an old saloon (with batwing doors) and I notice my wife, though we apparently have not met yet. I embrace her and think about getting married at some future point (even though I already am in reality). She seems to have, as becoming Miss Universe, been getting ready to be in a remake of “Valley of the Dolls, though as some attempt at a "video noir” television broadcast (which also seems related to the minimal western sets) though I know little about video production as such. I am mostly in a very cheerful mood, though.

As I walk into a different area, I notice my father sitting on a couch with several other people around in a semi-dark room. He is playing an accordion and I feel a strong sense of nostalgia. He seems to recognize me though is younger and has not had me as a son yet. We talk for a fair amount of time, but his voice sounds completely different as well as altered by some sort of electronic device. His entire eyes also glow a bright reflective silver at one point, shining in the otherwise semi-dark room. (For some reason, I do not find this unusual or off-putting even though it is a bit eerie.) I tell him that I am his son, or rather “will be” his son in the future. There are at least seven or eight longer exchanges, but I do not recall all of it.

I notice a man who may be a doctor who is sitting at an antique desk. I ask him what year it is to confirm the old west scenes from earlier in my dream. He says, very slowly (almost as if a part of me is deciding what to make him say) 19… (and at this point I am surprised, as it is not 18…) …78. It is 1978, supposedly. He continues by saying that it is July 24, 1978. (I am not sure of the significance of this in context to my dream, though this was shortly after I moved back to Wisconsin.) I think about the people I had met earlier and wonder why this “old western town” exists during this time period (and for some reason I do not reflect upon it as possibly being a movie set), so I go outside to explore again. It seems to be around afternoon and everything is bright, clear, and realistically detailed.

In probably the most vivid scene, I end up going down a long dusty road (through an otherwise featureless field of grass about a foot high) that is covered with old broken pieces of concrete as the surface (something I have never seen in real life). Some of the pieces are as big as my fist. I notice a few modern buildings in the far distance. I eventually decide to walk back after walking perhaps the distance of four city blocks. I see a car moving in the distance on a different (proper) road. I clearly think to myself how this road would not be suitable for cars (due to how very bumpy it would be as well as having sharp bits of concrete causing problems for the tires) even though it is likely used (or maybe will be used) as such at times. From here, I return to the isolated town with the intent to explore some more.

Memory is a mysterious thing. Relative to the date mentioned in my dream (July 24th, 1978) the 1978 Miss Universe pageant was broadcast live on the in-dream referenced date. “Valley of the Dolls” was also aired. There was also an article in the newspaper we got for that date titled “Those ‘Perry Mason’ Reruns Keep Video Noir Genre Alive”. Additionally, I have a dream journal entry titled “Valley of the Dull” (from April 9, 1978 - my wedding anniversary, though long before I was married on April 9, 1994) where I had written about falling asleep while watching it, the audio and half-awake partly discerned visuals at times integrating with my dream. Memory is a very unusual, though vast precise “storehouse” at times.

1. Steven Universe dream, it ran like a typical episode, but all I remember is Garnet saying some motivating line.

Inspiration: I’m up to episode 23 now!



2. There’s a ~deadly~ cave cricket (jump spider) in the (not WL) kitchen, and it will.not.die. I smash it with a broom a number of times but it keeps coming back. I finally smoosh the broom over it and think I get it, but then Smoke (passed away IWL) comes over to check it out. I panic and kick my foot towards him.

I wake up, kicking something at the foot of my bed. Once I realize what happened, I try to figure out what I kicked, because I definitely felt something solid. I worry that I kicked Jazzy but I think the door is still pulled two from last night. Then it creaks open and answers my question for me.

Inspiration: There was one in the house last week, and me and my dad fear them sooo much that I was worried I’d have a bad dream about it. Welp.

3. Melly, me and Rane are getting our hair dyed. It’s in our hair and we’re just waiting for it to settle into how dark we want the colors to be.

Mom is with me and points out Melly’s, she says it’s too much, so I need to be careful. I look at my hair and see the purple and pink dye on each side of my head. I can’t remember if it was my hair or someone else’s but the right side was way too much pink, but I thought that maybe different hairstyles would fix it.

Inspiration: Thinking about dying my hair yesterday.

4. I’m in a class. The teacher starts handing out papers. I look at the heading on the top of mine and it has ‘Christian’ in the title. I think to protest that I’m not even Christian, but for some reason give up on the idea.

We’re supposed to fill in information on this guy. The teacher comes over and leans over me, and starts to explain how I need to fill out certain answers. As she does, I worry that the other students can’t hear her, so how will they know what to do?

She says that his website has changed to the .com extension. I look at what it was before – something like .co.mt. She points to where he went to school and tells me what to put. I look at what’s written (in pencil) but can’t remember what it says.

She’s back to where she started and talking about how she changed a few things about ‘the song’, because it was a ballad, and she didn’t understand why he had to include a curse word. I think that it isn’t right.

She goes around watching over the students, and suddenly starts singing. The class joins in, me especially loudly, though I don’t remember the lyrics now.

Then I’m working on the second worksheet, it’s something about health. We’re supposed to answer what foods have certain things in them, like GMOs. I’m stumped.

A girl comes into the class late and sits across from me. I wonder if she’ll get into trouble but the teacher doesn’t seem to care.



The girl had short (almost chin-length) light brown hair that had a bit of a static electricity problem. She says that she was fixing it up. I feel like I should complement her even though it’s pretty plain looking and strands are sticking out. As she starts working on the papers, I wonder how she’ll know what to do.

Inspiration: the ‘mt’ part of the extension comes from a reviewer of a manga I linked to somewhere. The censoring is from me thinking about this song I was listening to while exercising yesterday. The girl is definitely inspired by Androssi in the Tower of God webtoon. The school part might have come from me thinking about college. ‘Christian’ may have come from me thinking about the radio station dad listens to.

1. I become aware that I’m lying in bed. The atmosphere feels weird. The shadows on the wall look odd.

Now I’m facing the other way, looking at my fan’s light. It morphs from a round circle to a star shape, and I’m shocked. I realize that I could be lucid dreaming. I look over at my clock and it says 1:00.

But when I do a memory RC it’s fine? Then I look at the clock and it says it’s only 11:00, just about 40 minutes after I laid down for bed.

Note: I wonder if I was dreaming for part of it, but then woke up. It was pretty choppy.

2. I look out a window to my right and see a balloon floating in the yard, I hurry outside to it. It’s got a bag filled with something to anchor it down on the end of the string. I see more of them around the yard and remember that there’s some event going on here at grandma’s house.

The balloons are starting to float up into the sky and I think that the anchors sure didn’t last long.

I’m making my way through the back yard by riding on some kind of ball (similar to a soccer ball). There are caravans and animals everywhere, either sharing caravans or lying on cloths on the ground or just wandering around. I first come across one with a deer in it, and I wonder if it’s a dead one that grandpa hunted. But when I get a closer look, it seems to be alive, and there’s some kind of feline predator in there with it but it’s just lying there too, staring at me.

As I pass along, I come to realize all the animals are a mix and they don’t seem to be attacking each other.

I’m kind of nervous and focus on making my way through everything. Some fox-dogs appear and one of them nips at me (they look kind of like the dogs from a previous dream but I just knew they were dangerous and more fox-like).

I come across an elliptical that I think looks like mine, only bigger and it seems to have a seat, but it has clothes draped all over it. I think ‘what a waste’.

Somehow I end up knocking clothes off of it but keep going. I feel kind of guilty though and end up going back to haphazardly drape them back on it. When I get to the carport I see another elliptical.

I’m back in the room I started out in on the bed. Mom comes in looking for someone’s number. I find two slips of paper with numbers that have some 2’s and 0’s in them and other writing, but one is longer. I compare them and say that they’re the same.

I think they didn’t work or something, because I end up saying that I have Matthew’s phone number in my phone.

Mom has my phone now and a ringtone starts playing of ‘The World is a Vampire’ by The Smashing Pumpkins.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage ♪
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage ♪

Except it sounds kind of clipped around the ‘rage ~ I am’ part and I think that she must be fast-forwarding through it. When I heard it I looked over at her like ‘oh, so you went and listened to the song?’ (see inspiration notes).

She’s talking to him now, and I think I’m lying down and kind of out of it. I tune in for a moment and think how awkward it is to be listening to this so I tune back out.

“Hello? Matthew? I have a feeling you’ll be calling me back.” I hear. Matthew had hung up so she’d left a message.

She tells me that she likes taking any opportunity she can to remind him of work, and that he’s built up this whole fear about it. I want to add that Rane works hard and is still able to make time for other things like Jack.

Inspirations: Grandma has an elliptical and I found out she put it out in the yard. The fox-dogs probably do come from the dogs in a previous dream. I’ve had multiple dreams that were about the dream mystery that is the back yard of my grandma’s house. IWL they own a large property so the back yard is big. Not a bad place to dream about! Yesterday I sung that line of ‘The World is a Vampire’ and mom was like “??” so I told her about the song and how it was the theme for ‘Whale Wars’. So in the dream, I thought she had went and found the song to listen to afterword. The Matthew thing is complicated but he was my sister’s ex and had issues that caused them to break up.