• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    Recent DJ Posts

    1. Hospitals, rapists, and memories

      by , 12-12-2013 at 05:30 AM
      BLACK: Regular
      BLUE: Dream
      RED: Notes
      PURPLE: Quote (specific words I remember clearly)
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      I'm not quite sure how this dream started or ended.
      Date: November 30th, 2013
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      I was in a hospital [ it looked like one I'd been in before ]. It was quiet, which made me feel very uncomfortable. It didn't seem right. A man [ He appeared to be in his early/mid 20's and had brown hair, young face, was tall, thin, and had dark eyes. He seemed very familiar ] grabbed my arm and pulled me away from where I was. He mentioned something to a woman by me [ I believe she was a nurse like figure, but I'm not sure ] about "finding all the pretty girls in the hospital and raping the f-ck out of them." [ I don't think he thought that I'd heard him. That, or he didn't care if I did or not. ] I began feeling incredibly nervous, but I hid it to the best of my ability. We passed my family [ always female members from my mother's side or my father. None of them ever noticed me, save my father. He glanced at me but said and did nothing ] two times. Some time along the way I mentioned something about "not wanting to be treated this way again." The man looked at me and we sat on some stairs [ the "nurse" woman stood off the the side. The stairs were hard stone ] and he asked me, "You've been raped before?" [ those words rang in my head over and over when I woke up ] I mentioned something about being a virgin but that I'd been sexually abused in the past [ this is true. I have been ]. He raised his eyebrow and almost seemed to feel sorry for me. I thought he'd let me go. Suddenly, he pulled me to my feel and literally dragged me to a room [ more details on the room below ] that looked like both a physical therapy facility and an x-ray/CT scan room. He had the nurse take me to a machine on the far right side of the room. I faced the closed end of it. The man said "We're making sure you won't get pregnant. STAND STILL!" I was shaking violently by this point. I was scared. He had the nurse woman spread my arms out and made me stand holding some bars on either side of me. After this, the man literally growled and tore me away from the machine. He took of my jacket [ it was red ] , leaving me in my tank top [ grey ], jeans, and socks. I noticed my dad outside the room and I told the nurse to shut the door. She did this. The man pushed me onto my back [ I landed on another machine that was on the floor. I hit my back on two bars ] and I crossed my legs over each other and put my arms over my chest. I started pleading with him. "Please, please don't!" I cried over and over [ I was literally crying ]. The man towered over me and he ripped his shirt off and started trying to take my clothes off. I kicked at him and screamed repeatedly. Eventually, I think, I got so afraid that I just woke up. The ending is blurry.
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      NOTES:
      About the room-
      It was on the top floor in the west side of the building. The sun was setting outside the single window which had blinds over it. The room was cold. The colors were desaturated, but there was blue and white all around me -ironically my school colors-. There were various "machines" strewn about. The door that I saw my dad out of was on the right side of the room right next to the machine I stood by. The door was a flimsy plywood sliding door that had no lock. The only light in the room came from that one window. It was dark-ish

      Various notes-
      I remember that I didn't scream for my dad's help because I didn't want him to see me so vulnerable. I would rather be raped than have him see me like that.

      No one seemed to notice what the man was saying. The nurse never spoke or made any noise.

      The man was very familiar and was rough, then gentle, then rough.

      My dad looked through me when he gazed my way.

      All I could think about when I woke up was the mysterious man who'd made me do something sexual (no details because I don't want to say it) when I was 5 years old.

      Around the time I started to faze out from the dream, I remember that the man looked animalistic. He also started to "melt." His image literally just began to melt.

      I remember my dad (after the whole ordeal, probably) saying something like "Oh I never wanted this to happen again. It's like 10 years ago."



      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      If you can offer any help here, I'd appreciate it. This dream hits home in too many ways. I've had more and more dreams like this one, lately, It's as though my subconscious is trying to make me see something.