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Well at one point in time I had an extensive journal but considering this is the first time I've been back since 2010, it's all gone so we'll just start with last night.

Teeth

I'm with my best friend Becca, and we're sort of in this inhabited desert area. Most of it is deserted; I know there's a wooden, crumbling shack behind me but I never turn around. In front of us is a store of some sorts, and Becca is with her new truck. She's on top of it, and I'm on the ground looking up at her. We're discussing something but I can't think of what. I remember we somehow materialize into the shack behind me. It's someone's house, and I'm up on the third floor in the bathroom. I'm staring at myself in the mirror, and I realize with a very paralyzed sense of panic that my front teeth are falling out. Nothing gory or painful, just casually dropping out of my mouth. I remember I was really freaked out, but I was just sort of passive and disinterested.

I recall turning and facing the bathtub. I end up with a mirror in my hand and I am staring at my last tooth. I wiggle my mouth and it just drops out into my hand I remember staring at my bare gums, and running my tongue over the gap in my mouth. Again I get this feeling of apathetic terror - this is revolting and alarming, but I just don't really care.

I remember I end up staying in the bathroom, and I'm holding my teeth in my hands.

Graphic Warning
I pick up one of my teeth and it's got the nerve ending sticking out of it. It's like a thin, hair like string with a little spiked ball at the end. I can liken it to the pollinating part of a verbena flower, but I doubt anyone else will get that. I actually just googled nerve ending and the images for it look close to exactly how my dream was. Anyway, I remember staring at it and being really afraid it would hurt if I touched it. But it didn't. I remember plucking them out of my teeth just for the heck of it. I got to a pair of my teeth stuck together. It was my broken tooth in the back of my mouth so I'm assuming more just fell out. I pull out the nerve ending from it and it fascinates me.


I remember waking up and being terrified it was real. I was very relieved to run my tongue over my still in tact teeth

I'm standing in my Grandma's kitchen in front of the fridge. There's a large pot on the stove with a lid on it. Something is cooking. I move a few steps and stand directly in front of the pot. I grasp the lid and lift it to see what is cooking. It's a big pot of chili beans. I'm sure my Grandma is making it. I lean in a bit closer to smell the food. It smells delicious. I then lean back and put the lid back on. I back up more and begin to turn around but a males' chest stops me from moving any further. I look up and see his face. It's Brendon Urie. He smiles really big and laughs. He asks me what I'm doing. I didn't say anything, just stared at his face. He smiles bigger and pushes his face into my neck, smelling my skin. I jump a little and ask him what he's doing. He just laughs again and says never mind. He pulls me closer and leads me into a slow dance across the small kitchen. He never stops smiling.