Recent DJ Posts

29th August 2021

Some in-line notes/thoughts.

Fragment:

(last part of a dream)

Not sure where I am, some house. H is here and some client of his. There is some upset because of people doing some kind of eBay boycott or slandering. I feel I know exactly why; in Discord, talking to A and G and some other furries, another (dream-generated) furry called "Daster" is mentioned as having made a journal about eBay shenanigans. But reading what Daster said, it seems to read fine actually and it's more like others didn't read it thoroughly and have blown it out of proportion.

(on waking from this, I wondered why I didn't consider this a dreaming situation while dreaming)

Fragment:

(some early dream)

In an old and abandoned building. It's an abandoned nuclear power plant. Me, H and DH (who we were recently introduced to in WL) are here, I think trying to get the power plant working again. Some circuit boards in a control room of sorts seem to be damaged? Other mechanical bits need replacing, overall. DH plays around with one of those chunky armoured cables we saw in A's garage while we were away. DH draws arcs with it and stuff, across some of the control room machinery.

The electric arcs are just barely visible (making me think of X-Ray radiation being at play) and they are long and a very faint but somewhat bright light blue colour. Something happens and an arc strikes all three of us. I feel dizzy at first. Then we all start experiencing psychotropic symptoms. I start to trip, basically. I start seeing colours more vividly and my field of view starts distorting.

Fragment:

I'm with H in a village, it's daytime, either cloudy or sunny. We walk past a house that has some interesting rendering. Then I see there's this huge Viking-like church. I ask H what's it like inside and he says he's never been in. I think earlier we are in a town much like my old home town, but with much taller buildings. I remember being atop one of these buildings at one point (looking down?). Things are trippy at some points, like an Escher painting kind of trippy, with forced perspectives and things like that.

Fragment:

A dream bit with a film noire feel to it but not actually in greyscale. Not sure that I'm even a character at all. Some guys get a mobile call. They're in a busy path by an equally busy canal. New York accents or something? Something stereotypical and period-like anyway. On the phone, they're discussing a paid assassination job. The seeming protagonist is trying to be tactful with the discussion in public, unlike his colleague was when he had a turn on the phone. There's a scene that I think is supposed to be comical or juxtaposing because this heavy and serious discussion passes right in front of a children's choir practising on the canal and as they pass them, the main character alludes to this in a humorous way that "disguises" the assassination conversation as he goes past.

Scraps:

Very vague recall of making an abstract art piece and uploading it semi unfinished.

---

Notes:

- I am not sure why the first dream fragment might have manifested, but probably a mix of worries. I have never encountered anyone by a username of "Daster" and when I looked it up, I couldn't really find anything relating to that dream's content.

- In a more recent dream than in this entry, I had another dream where there was concern over non-visible radiation. I think this is often a sub-conscious worry of sorts, not strictly just about radiation, also about other non-visible agents that might cause harm and that is to say, such things as viruses, something else that has recently appeared in dreaming.

- Strangely, the dreaming for this day seemed to have a "trippy" factor as quite a prominent feature. I don't recall ever having "tripped" in that sense, although I can imagine to some extent what it might be like, but I am not sure what brought this on as a dreaming thing.

- The Viking-like church is probably both a residue of a Minecraft town we'd been building and of an actual church we recently visited that had a similar feel, in some respects.
-- The village area we were in was similar to several different local ones we've been to, for church-related stuff.

7th July 2020

Dream (somewhat fragmented):

Some mix of walking and racing around a city. There was a long track that lapped at a military train station of some kind and looped around through a somewhat futuristic city and some mountains and sea side cliffs. I think I lapped around a couple of times at least. The track was a mix of dirt and train tracks along the non-city parts, so the car would transform or something as it went on and off the rail tracks. The moments during which I was driving were all in third person view.

(recall gap)

At some point I was driving a tank past the check point where the race track supposedly lapped, somewhere in the city. A group of rebels appeared and melded out from the cheering crowds gathered around the city race track. The group of people had guns and they clung to me and demanded "the truth" (not of me, it was their chant?). I was not their ally but not their enemy either. I carried on moving forward and some point I'm me and not in the tank anymore, and I'm going through this cramped and small hall of a sci-fi, neon-lit mall. It's kind of dark but the neon signs made a stark contrast.

(at some point there's a transition, maybe not instant but gradual, though my recall of it has faded)

The rather large group of rebels was much smaller now. I was now in a giant cavern and this much smaller (less than ten people in total) group of rebels and their children had been following me for a while now after what I think had been quite some time walking; some of the kids kept holding on to me (in fear?) or clinging but I found this annoying at times since I was trying to move forward.

In the huge cave there was this giant reptilian alien creature and it was fighting or attacking something. I remember running past its large open mouth and throwing a small nuclear bomb inside. Somehow I made it keep its mouth closed as I moved towards its tail.

The bomb went off at this point and the light shone right through the scaly skin; there was a certain iridescence to the effect and there were plenty of vivid colour. Because I was at the back at this point, I remember making note that it was a female (based on the genitals) and the creature began to feel weak and was sort of hanging on its knees.

Then I remember being the same size as it; I sort of rolled it over on its back and then it was a (friendly) dog. I was trying to be careful because some of those people were still nearby and now they were tiny. I gave the dog some kind of pill like a tranquillising medicine, without too much resistance; the giant dog began to look a bit out of it and happy. Then there was some kind of interface to choose how to reset or reprogram the creature's behaviour. There were two columns with a few options each.

The dream ended shortly after this.

---

Notes:
- Even only after waking up I thought that the general setting of this dream was very interesting. The sci-fi type city and the scenic landscapes are generally appealing and come to think of it, are both subjects I'd like to be better at portraying artistically.
-- I remember some picturesque sunset views at some point, around the seaside cliff areas.
- This was one of those dreams that felt quite long, where I feel there are many parts of the dream that I did experience but simply could not recall solidly once awake.
- The whole thing with the rebels and the city makes me think of the Hunger Games for some reason, though I don't think I'd rewatched it recently at the time of this dream.
-- I don't remember clearly anymore what was the general emotional state of the rebels and their children when we were in the cave, but my mind says "fear" at the moment; but the way the children were hanging on to me was more playful, in the same way that as when I was a child I might have done when being playful with my parents.
- The nuclear bomb and the shiny effect were probably in part brought on by playing Borderlands 3 and using a character skill that enables miniaturised nuclear warheads to be fired, and in part probably by Fallout and its Fatman too.
- Rolling over the creature (dog at that point) was very akin to my experience of having to give my dog medication, though in this case there was actually more willingness to receive the medication.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A big fat dragon is walking downtown and smashing houses like Godzilla but more by accident. Me and Zilla are trying to avoid it but he seems to go wherever we go. We end up at some derelict buildings by the docks and we bump into a dozen dudes, who are doing shady businesses, and they surround us, menacing. I say we have no idea who they are and what they are doing, but they couldn't care less. So I fly and pick a stick that is lying around and I hit them with it. Zilla runs away. We reach an area with more people around and they let us go.

Staying at some foreign country with colleagues from worldwide. We are working on a lab and sharing amenities. I have a nice room for myself, but have to share bathroom with another lady, but still it is very comfortable.
At the lab some days I work with two guys. One whom I know and another one who is a stranger and has been harassing me. I know what he is capable of, because he is a sexual offender and I am creeped out whenever I need to be alone with him.
Well, he works with radioactive material and he has to go inside a chamber where materials are deposited. One day, I am by chance at a place from where I can see that my colleague locks him up in that chamber, which cannot be opened from the inside. I am shocked but I do not help the creepy guy. I think we are actually better without him. He only needs to stay locked for some minutes before the radiation reaches deadly levels.
I stay put and do nothing. Meanwhile a group of visiting researchers, who had been out for a city tour, are coming back to the lab and I go meet them and stall them while I know my colleague is re-opening the door of the chamber, to cover up his action. This way people will think the dude fainted there and got too much radiation by accident. I just wander what he is going to do regarding the security tapes. If they just disappear people will know it wasn't an accident. Anyway, I cannot be implicated.

As told today on irc:

[19:12:51] <gab|Away> oh, just gonna say, took a nap and escaped nuclear death coz had to pee
[19:13:08] <gab|Away> lol that woke me up, as Iran launched missels at us
[19:13:53] <gab|Away> I was like oh, they fired, I gotta pee, but if I go Ill miss seeing them hit, but also Ill proly be ded by then, so meeh

Was cool. I know we did something and we expected retaliation. I was in a highrise building, at daytime, by the large window, looking way to the left, very far in the distance. I think I saw to the other continent, haha.

So suddenly I see this small light streaking to the skies, with tail of smoke trailing behind it. Then another one. I wanted to follow them with my eyes, but lost them in the clouds, or they were just too small to see.

Then I felt like I have to go potty, and I had a dilemma. If I go, I will not see them hit. But I also knew that they targeted us, haha, so ... lol.

Then I woke up and had to pee.

Waiting in line to be assigned a weapon as I am drafted into a medieval war. I am given a stick with a big spiked ball on top of it. Down the line, they give me a leather cape, and that's it. "What am I, cannon fodder?" I think as I realize how vulnerable I am like this. Not nearly strong enough to wield the mace, even running through bushes would scratch up my skin...

I walk off, and wander around some grassy hills with a few sparse trees. I see one of my friends with her boyfriend both sitting under a tree and having a good time. I say "Hi" as I pass by, letting them enjoy themselves without interrupting too much.

I follow a road that goes up a hill, along a small cliff right across from another half hill, half cliff area. There is a guy shooting mortar rounds at me. But I can see the angle of his mortar pod, so it's really easy to dodge. He just rotates as he changes his aim, but doesn't actually move. I have an energy cannon type thing that also shoots like a mortar, but needs to be charged with each shot depending on how far I want it to go. I time my shots to be in between his, and get closer and closer as I fine tune the charging and my aim as I dodge and shoot from different spots along the cliff. He almost gets me a few times, but it is really easy to dodge. Finally, I get a hit on him, but it hardly hurts him at all. He laughs at me, completely unconcerned. But the joke is on him, I can do this all day.

Then, a nuclear missile lands just to my right. The sky flashes white, and the blast wave knocks me down to the ground. Then everything starts to burn. Must be the radiation. I see a glowing orange smoke slowly spread toward me. Some of it touches my legs and holy crap does it burn! I run to get out of it, and can barely stay ahead of it as it spreads. Down the hill, the smoke does not follow me. Spared just by a thread from dying in that explosion, I am now so weak and injured that I am pretty much useless. I look around for some place to sleep this off. Walking away from the action toward some sort of building that is up a hill, I think that'll work just fine. Spontaneously, someone performs a type of magical healing ritual on me, and I feel back to full health again! I swing my mace around, and it feels easy and comfortable to do so. Now, what to do about this nuclear explosion?

I am some sort of god-like entity, an awareness with power, lacking physical form, helping a large group of people and animals live their lives. I become aware that there is a hostile ship, going to another land to bring back nuclear weapons to use against everyone on the island I am familiar with. Going over to it, I attempt to stop it with lightning strikes. Despite several direct hits on the ship, it continues on and reaches the distant shore to pick up the nuclear weapons.

I take human form, and go to speak with the leader of this operation, but he kills me before I can do or say anything right as I enter a wooden lodge he is in. Still having an awareness of what's going on in the lodge, a large group of women enter, all dressed the same, all with their hands in their identical bags. They surround him and say something to the effect of, "You had this coming for a long time, now the time has come" He tries to run, but a group of women hold him as he is assassinated. All the women had guns in their bags.

Now a young boy just on the outskirts of the town, holding hands with a young girl, we watch the town mill about. People going here and there. Boats coming and going. The large ship from earlier has turned into a smaller ship with no where to go. Very peaceful, a dam slowly raises out of the nearby river, filling a large reservoir.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am visiting some planet colonized by humans. All is well, until some shit happens on the other side of the planet and humans explode the most powerful atomic bomb ever. The planet is not so big and the strength of the bomb is enough to alter its rotation and orbit. Where I am, we're not affected by the explosion itself, but soon after the planet starts spinning uncontrolably and we feel the most horrible sensation ever. We consider suicide, because we can't do anything at all for ourselves, we just experience this huge nausea and inability to walk or do anything at all. But luckily the spinning starts decreasing to a more manageable level. But then we have to consider the nuclear fallout. I hide in some sort of mine with facilities attached, where I meet a couple of people who live and work there. We lock ourselves in, isolating all the entries, but then we wonder what we will do, as we will need water and food. They have a stock that lasts some time, but then we have to start foraging outside. But the atmosphere no longer offers as much protection against space radiation and it is worse during the day, with the local sun's radiation at its peak. We learn this the hard way, after watching a lady die with severe burns, almost turning to ash, so we only go out at night with lots of protection.
Some night we manage to find a communication device that works and we learn that people on Earth know what happen and are sending rescue for survivors.
Meanwhile, some kind of space pirates flying nearby, also know about the situation and come down to the planet, to scavenge and loot. We have a close encounter with a couple of them, we don't really have anything for them but they threaten us with weapons. We manage to escape and right when we're on top of a hill and spot a rescue ship, a volcano erupts nearby, signaling the start of the planet's collapse. The rescuers takes us in and from space we can this planet wobbling in a strange infinite symbol shaped orbit and blowing up from the inside in multiple volcano eruptions.

So, I've just taken up ToTY, but since I joined late, I had to move faster than ever. That's why I love WILD, which will allow me to LD more than 1 time a day...
...now, let's begin with the dream.
As I enter the dream, even if I WILDed, I didn't realise it was a dream. I was just floating around in a void... until the dream started to form around me, causing lucidity. While I was gazing at the colors and shapes, there it is. My dream, formed.
The shapes around me seem futuristic, and my immediate thought is just to to fly. As I was looking around, I see a nuclear power plant, which makes me remember ToTY...
That means one thing. PORTAL TIME! While in the portal, I can see the dream reforming, and finally, I reach my destination. The nuclear test zone. I immediately thought to ask them to drop the bomb so I could get under it, but they've got ahead of me. The nuclear device was falling, and I couldn't be happier about it...
The next second, the atomic bomb hit me.. I felt a slight tingle, then a force, a kind of air pressure, pushing me down.. I was able to stand up, but hardly. Fortunately, in 5 seconds it stopped, and everywhere was just white. After 10 second, some gray entered the white, extending, expanding...
The gray surrounded me, then floated away, making me realize it was just smoke!
All of the DCs there looked amazed at me as I was walking to them, but while I was waiting to be greeted as a hero, they started to shoot me... which resulted in some old, good, fireballs kicking their asses... after some fighting, my dream started to blur a little, and they actually throwed another bomb on top of me, confusing me even more... I began to hear a faint BEEEP which got louder and louder until I woke up, because of my alarm... Sadly, this wasn't a WILD, but at least I did one of the ToTY taks...
I'll try in my next posts the Titanic one, so take care!

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was out on a road at the bottom of a steep slope in a neighborhood probably near the neighborhood I lived in during high school.

I stood just outside my mom's car. My mom was about to drive away. But before she did, she was telling me where I could find the nearest Dunkin' Donuts. My mom said the Dunkin' Donuts was up the slope, then one and a half blocks past a park I knew was up the way. The park was mostly taken up by a big lake, around which I used to run in high school.

I was a little disappointed to hear that the Dunkin' Donuts was so far away. I thought I could never make it on time (not sure what I needed to be on time for -- maybe the breakfast menu -- which wouldn't really make sense, either). But, now that I'd decided to go to Dunkin' Donuts, I couldn't stop here.

My mom drove away. I apparently started walking. But now I was already up the slope, and through and past the lake park. I was still worried that I wouldn't make it on time.

I got to some restaurant, which was either Dunkin' Donuts or some restaurant a few stores down the block from Dunkin' Donuts. I sat at an outdoor table with a Latino family: a father, a mother, a couple little kids, and maybe a couple more adult guys.

My mom showed up among this group of people. She told me that I didn't have to worry about Dunkin' Donuts. She gave me a reason for this. But I don't remember it.

My mom pointed the store out to me. I looked up the road and saw the store. The Dunkin' Donuts road sign had a lot of brown on it. The sign was more like a big brown sign, checkered, almost, with little, white squares that had the orange and pink "DD" logo in them.

Dream #2

I stood out on a beach, looking out over the water. The beach itself was very beautiful, but not natural looking at all, as far as I know.

The water was nephrite green, but it seemed to gleam like glass. The horizon was like white gold, and the cloudy sky overhead was like smoky amber. And, it seemed, there was an extremely long bridge, made of black iron, stretching thinly across the water, all the way across my view of the horizon!

At first I was near some Latino family: probably a mother, a father, a daugher, and possibly a son. I was either watching government testing of some kind of nuclear devices, or else I was remembering the testing of these devices, which had taken place on this beach within the past few decades.

I saw one explosion, the light of which I don't remember at all, but which must have been like an exploding ball of light a hundred meters or so above the ocean.

I then walked down the beach to my left maybe twenty meters or so. I saw something fall from the sky into the water -- although, again -- I didn't really see the object. It was like the object was invisible. But I saw its effects on the water as it splashed in: like a row of pebbles and rocks, splashing into the water one by one, in quick succession.

Now the points of water which had been dotted by the splashes surged upward in small fountains. There may have been the small sound of an explosion. The fountains then subsided.

I knew that another nuclear device had been detonated deep under the water. I knew that this device would kill all the fish in the water. I was preparing for the next big wave from the ocean to wash a bunch of dead to the shore.

I may possibly have thought that the device may actually have been made in order to kill the fish. Killing the fish was a form of sabotage against the economy of the nation that fished here.

I now stood back a ways from the water. I stood near a Latino family again. The mother and father were both young and attractive. They were both kind of pale skinned.

The father was muscular, very manly. I was afraid that I'd do something with my own usual personality and offend the father's masculine sensibilities. So I just tried to remain calm and do nothing.

At some point I looked behind me. There was a basalt-like rock behind us. The rock was maybe two meters tall at most. It made a good back-rest. (It was soft and smooth, too, though craggy -- so maybe it had been polished by years of backs sitting against it!)

But I thought that it would really hurt, if a wave washed all the way up here, and someone swimming in that wave were thrown against the rock. I wondered if this was really a good beach for swimming in after all. I'd heard of beaches that were too rocky for swimming. Maybe this was one.

A big wave may actually have made its way all the way up to us, washing against us and throwing me a bit against the wall. From this point forward, the father may have had long, frizzy hair and a scraggly beard.

I walked up to the top of the basalt outcropping. I lay on my stomach and looked out on the ocean. Even though the rock wasn't much higher than the beach, I noticed that when I looked behind me, over my right shoulder, I could see a city. Apparently I was on some island. But the island had a big city on it. I had a surprisingly good view!

I was possibly telling the father about this, when suddenly I noticed that I was lifting up into the air! I felt like I was lifting up on top of nothing. But the "nothing" felt solid, as if I were still laying on the rock. I was afraid to look down, though, to see exactly what was lifting me into the air.

I was afraid, too, of lifting up this high into the air. But I didn't show my fear about this, because I didn't want the father to think I was a chicken.

I eventually came to the conclusion that I had actually sat on some kind of ride this beach had. It was an elevator, I told myself, that lifted you all the way to the top of a skyscraper that was either on or near the beach.

I looked foward, over the ocean, for a while. But I then looked behind me, to the city. I was surprised by how much this island city resembled the city of New York. The buildings all had that old, stone look to them. I even saw one building with the trademark "NEW YORKER" light sign above it.

I was now getting so high in the air that I was starting to get uncomfortable. But I told myself that this elevator stopped at the top of the building. And I knew the building was 34 storied tall. If I could just hang on until then, I told myself, I'd be fine. So I calmed down. I think that I did then feel the elevator start to descend.

But I was now in the basement of some building. It was like the basement of a small, but really nice museum or art gallery. The hallway was narrow and "L" shaped. The Latino mother and father sat in a little window niche in the side of the hallway.

There was a narrow, kind of winding, stairwell up to the first floor. I may have been playing around on that stairwell for a little while, like a little kid would, even though I still had my own consciousness, like I was still myself, as a (so-called) adult.

I then came back down to the mother and father. I asked them if I could ride the elevator ride again. The father said no, I couldn't. If I got to ride the ride twice, then all the other kids would want to do it, too.

I said I agreed. We were almost ready to leave. But if I got to ride the ride twice, and then everybody else wanted to, we'd be waiting here forever for everybody to finally finish taking their rides.

I sat on some little bench somewhere. Across the hallway and off to my left was a kind of wide niche in the wall, with a counter before it. This must have been some kind of ticket or coat-check area.

On my side of the hallway, just next to me and on my left, was a doorway to a small office. This office may also have had something to do with ticketing.

One young man sat behind the desk, while another young man stood in front of it. Both men were kind of slim and pretty. The young man standing struck me as being gay. He had short, platinum blonde hair which shone like a silver plate under the incandescent office light.

Both the boys were friends. They may even have lived in the same apartment building, or only a couple buildings away from each other. So they saw each other all the time. They talked as friends for a moment. But the standing boy was here to take care of some kind of business.

Professionally, the standing boy was higher than the sitting boy. And, now that the standing boy was taking care of business, he was really driving the point home that he was higher. As the sitting boy was taking care of something for the standing boy, the standing boy began tapping the top of the recpetion desk and humming in a very annoying way.

Dream #3

It was daytime, or maybe morning, just after sunrise. I was driving through a grassy desert. I pulled my car off to the side of the road. I was at this specific place for a specific reason.

I was some kind of paranormal investigator. I may actually have thought of myself as a Fortean investigator. And this, I thought, was my first real Fortean investigation.

I stood out of the car, trying to "write up a report" in my head regarding whatever I was about to see. I was trying to think of some catchy headline.

I had an image in my head, which I thought was really clever, of a dark-raspberry colored ring. I knew this would lead to some kind of clever phrase.

But I now saw that, just off the road, there was a square-shaped billboard, starting maybe only three meters or so above the ground, with a picture of just what I had been imagining. The picture looked like a thick ring being pushed up through some kind of raspberry-colored syrup.

This billboard seemed only to be the left side of the advertisement. The right section -- the text part -- had been cut off. There may have been just a tiny sliver of it remaining.

Suddenly I felt stupid for having tried to put together a headline for my report before I'd even started my investigation of the subject. I also felt that the headline itself was really silly and cliched.

I turned to go do my investigation, when I was overwhelmed by a strong, almost magnetic, sensation coming from the sky. It was hard for me even to look up from the ground. But I did it.

At first, my view was all red -- a burning, but dimly glowing, orange red. But as my view cleared I saw, on the horizon, at the end of a flat expanse of land, what looked like a phantom sun.

The sun was a huge, glowing, orange-red ball. Its body was maybe four-fifths of the way above the horizon. But it was also translucent. I could see through the sun, to the sky.

This struck me as odd. But the sky itself was also odd. It was apple green -- a beautiful shade of apple green, blending its way down to pale yellow at the horizon!

I tried to figure out what this phantom sun was. I figured it was a reflection of the real sun against this side of the sun's dome. To test if this was correct, I looked behind me. Sure enough, the "real" sun was rising over the horizon behind me -- though it seemed to be rising over some small mountain peaks.

For some reason this satisfied me, and I was ready to begin my investigation. I walked across the street and onto some kind of cinder road. The cinder road went a short way off from the main road, then divided into two roads. I took the right road.

I was now down in a cave. The cave also forked into two caves at some point, and I was down in the right leg of the cave. The cave wasn't dark -- it was like it was lighted by little lights that ran along the floor. But it was kind of narrow and short. And it may have felt like it was getting tighter and tighter.

Apparently I'd had a colleague I'd come out here with: a young, black woman, dark-skinned, pretty skinny, with long, braided hair. But she'd gotten lost somewhere in the cave. I thought she'd either vanished into another dimension or gotten abducted by aliens.

At some point I may have been crawling on my belly through an extremely tight point in the cave. I was crawling with some white men, who were like police officer who had come to rescue me. I may have seen my colleague, lying on her back, dead. We were trying to get my colleague out of the place she was stuck in.

I was now above ground again. This whole area was the subject of a police investigation. Two fat, black police women were sitting on folding chairs near the cave entrance (which was basically just a hole in the ground, maybe with a tiny lip of a mound over it).

I walked away from the cave and off to the right. I could see some white police men wandering around through some tall grass and tree-like shrubs, apparently investigating whatever had happened here. They may have been searching for a body.

I was trying to piece together what had happened. I knew, now, that my colleague and I had come here to investigate. But while we'd been down in the cave, my colleague had suddenly disappeared.

I couldn't remember anything else. But I knew my colleague, unless she'd been abducted, must still be down in the cave. I needed to go back down and find her. But, honestly, now that I was above ground again, I was kind of afraid of going back down into the cave.

Nevertheless, I knew that I should at least face my fear and go back down into the cave. But I was also kind of afraid of the fat, black police women. I knew that if I went down into the cave without their permission, they might start all kinds of trouble for me, maybe even get me arrested.

So I asked the women if I could go back down into the cave. I was, now, actually kind of hoping that they'd tell me no.

But one of the women stood up. She was now kind of short, and very skinny. She had long hair, in a natural style, but pulled back into a kind of ponytail. She looked older, maybe sixty years old. She had to walk with a big, wooden walking stick.

The other woman, who was still fat and young, said, "I wish you wouldn't go down there. The police'll probably finish their investigation soon. And if we have to wait for you to wrap up, we'll be here even longer.

"But if you really want to go, we can't stop you. But she's going to come with you."

I was, honestly, relieved that the old woman was coming with me. I was really afraid to go into the caves by myself. But I was still afraid to go. I was partly afraid for myself -- regardless of who I was with, I thought, I could still get abducted, like my partner had.

But I was also worried about the old woman, who kind of looked to me like an older version of my missing colleague. If the old woman went down into the caves, and it was seen that she looked like my colleague, would she get abducted, too?

Good morning, everybody.

Ugh! I let my dumb weekend chores spiral out of control. So I'm not making this entry until now!

Just as a note, the second dream was the closest thing to a nightmare that I've had in a long time. It wasn't very different from many of my other dreams. But, for some reason, it upset me a lot. I could hear myself screaming in the dream. I may actually have woken up screaming.

Dream #1

I was heading into the lobby of either an apartment building or a hotel. I had just moved out of my old place and into this new place. The lobby was really wide, but with a low ceiling and a kind of old, worn-out look. There was a little front-desk-type area at the back, right corner of the lobby.

I headed toward a small room on the left wall, near the front of the lobby. It was the mail room. There were a lot of aluminum mailboxes along the wall on my right side. But a lot of the mailboxes were busted open. Someone had broken into the mailboxes.

I was arfraid for my own mail. My mailbox may have been open. I had some mail in my box. But it did seem like something was missing.

I looked at my mail as I walked out of the room. One piece of mail was for some other apartment. The other piece may have been a door tag from FedEx, like what they leave on a door when they come to deliver a package, but the person isn't hme.

I thought I would either give the piece of wrongly delivered mail directly to the person it belonged to, or else give it to the person at the front desk. But I was kind of afraid to let anybody know that the mailboxes had been broken into. I didn't want the people who'd broken into them to cme after me.

For some reason I was getting ready to leave the apartment. A FedEx man was coming in at the same time. But instead of asking him about my package, I told him that someone had broken into the mailboxes.

Dream #2

A documentary about the effects of some sort of nuclear accident, probably in Russia, though I'm pretty sure it wasn't Chernobyl. The documentary was following the lives of people in a small town near the accident.

The people had all been exposed to radiation. But they hadn't been moved away from the area where they'd been exposed. Most of the people seemed to be women.

There was one woman in a bedroom that kind of looked like a hostpital room. The woman was by herself, with her baby, in the room. But the room had multiple beds (or low cots), some of which could be separated from each other by dark blue curtains.

The woman was walking back and forth with her baby cradled to her chest by means of some kind of blanket. The woman wore a dark green t-shirt and may have been pushed up above the navel of the woman's taut belly.

A narrator may have said something about how the woman was really ill from the effects of the radiation. Now the woman was laying in one of the low cots, holidng her baby close to her. The baby may then have changed into a three- or four-year-old girl. The girl may have been tending to the mother.

The view now closed up on the woman's right arm, which was loosely hanging off the edge of the bed. A nurse administered some kind of injection into the woman's arm.

But either the woman was so sick that her body couldn't take any more medicine, or else the injection had been administered wrongly, and now the woman's body was rejecting it. The woman's vein swelled into a square about 3 cm per side. Then the woman's heart stopped beating.

I couldn't believe the woman had just died! I was now in the room. I don't know where the daughter was. I don't know where the nurse was. I thought I was myself, by myself.

I was panicking. I didn't know what to do about the dead woman. I still didn't want to believe she was dead. I thought if I found somebody, they might be able to save her.

So I used my cell phone and called somebody who I thought could help. I was now out in what I thought was the lobby for a small, narrow apartment complex.

I got a hold of the person, probably a man. Suddenly I had to admit to myself that the woman was dead, and that that was what I was going to have to explain to the person. As I started talking to the person, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I was a woman, maybe in her mid- to late-twenties. I was either white or Latina. My skin was pale. I had kind of sharp, almost squarish features. I wore some kind of pale, powdery foundation, and my eyebrows seemed to be pencilled in. I also had my hair in tight braids, which seemed almost like dredds, except with a bunch of tiny tangles coming off of them.

I then walked toward either a blank wall or a white wall with a plain, white door on it. As I did this, I told the man I was speaking to that I had been the one to administer the shot to the dead woman.

When I suddenly realized or admitted that I had been the one that had killed the woman, I broke down. I was crying. But my voice was more of a terrified moan, which eventually became a low-pitched, loud scream.

Dream #3

I was in "my bedroom," which almost had the shape of my bedroom, but which was almost empty. There were some boxes along the back wall, near the left corner. But I noticed they had been pushed from the wall.

I was afraid that somebody had been in my room. BUt I was more worried about putting the boxes back into alignment.

When I looked closer, I noticed that what had probably pushed them out of the way was some really heavy box that had managed to slump over toward the wall in such a way that it wedged in between the other boxes and the wall, pushing the other boxes aside as it slid along the wall, down toward the floor.

I picked up the heavy box. It was apparently a Christmas package I'd received. I figured I'd just need to open the package now and put the contents wherever they belonged in the house, so that the box would stop interfering with the order of my other boxes.

I opened the package. A wine bottle was inside. I pulled it out. The green bottle was encased in a white, plastic square, and it had a white, plastic, pull-off top.

I must have done something with the bottle. But now I was standing near the front wall of my room. The lights had been on before. But now they were off. The only light in the room was coming from my hallway or bathroom.

I was looking at my room, proud of how clean and spacious it looked, now that I'd organized things so well. But I now noticed that I had a cluttered pile laying a meter or so away from my back and right walll. The pile was mostly clothes, though there may also have been a blanket or beanbag chair.

I sighed, annoyed that I'd have to clean this stuff up before I could truly think I had a clean room. I lifted up a maroon, button-up shirt made out of some flannel-like material. I folded it. I folded another piece of clothing. I eventually worried that someone, somehow, might discover that I also had female clothing in this pile.

Dream #4

One of the very first episodes of the TV show Full House. Almost everybody in the cast was different.

The house itself also looked a lot different, like a mix between the house in Growing Pains and the house in Family Ties. There was a staircase on the left side of the room, near the front door. At the foot of the staircase was a big piano.

The dad and Uncle Jesse had kind of secretly worked to buy a doll for the middle daughter of the family. (Uncle Jesse may have been John Stamos, but the dad wasn't Bob Saget.) The two men wanted to make up for something really aggravating that had happened to the girl, and had probably been their fault.

So the two men left the doll sitting on top of the piano. The room was now empty, though I had an image in my mind's eye of the older daughter, who was the same person as in the regular show, except that she had really straight hair and wore eyeglasses.

The middle daughter now walked into the house. She was different from the daughter in the regular cast. She saw the baby doll laying on the piano top. Surprised, she rushed to the doll and picked it up. She walked up the stairs with it.

The doll wore no clothes, probably had a white, cloth body, and plastic limbs, and was either bald or had plastic "hair" molded onto her head.

Somehow this plain old cloth and plastic doll managed to pee. She just let out a huge gush of water, getting the daughter's front all wet.

The daughter's appearance had changed. She now looked like a "rebel girl" or "skater girl" kind of TV show character. She cried out, "Oh, god! You peed all over me!"

The daughter needed to clean herself off. But now the whole scene started over again. But everything that had already happened was still remembered by the characters.

The doll was placed, by an unseen erson, on the piano top. For a moment, the camera view closed in really tight on the doll, who seemed to be surrounded by a tiny square of little, wooden bars, almost like a mini, doll-sized railing that had been built onto the piano top.

The daughter ran in and picked it up, this time without any surprise or excitement. The daughter may also still have needed to clean the pee off herself.

But now the daughter, walking up the stairs, started saying things to the doll like, "Oh, yeah! I really like you! You're really sexy!"

I wondered why this girl would find a doll so sexy, and I wanted to see more, to see howthis relationship would develop between the girl and the baby doll that she found sexy.

I remembered the whole dreams the whole morning, but since I didn't get to write any of it down until now, I have forgotten most of the dreams and now only have parts of them .

The first interesting thing is that today being the day after I decided to try lucid dreaming again I woke up precisely at 4:34 AM. When I saw the time, I wondered if this was the same time I used to get up 2 years ago to do my WBTB WILDs that were never successful. I checked my offline alarms and there it was! "4:34 AM WILD Recurrent Alarm". I thought that was Extremely awesome so I took it as an opportunity to try it again.

(The dream I had at that time that I woke up had to do with arguing or something, which is understandable because I fell asleep in a not-so-good mood.)

Anyway, after waking up at 4:34, I got up, woke myself up completely, and then went back to bed to try WILDing. Unfortunately, I just got really scared because the day before, I watched 'The Fourth Kind' and I always get scared the most by scary movies at night when I'm alone. So I decided to go downstairs and watch TV instead to help clear my mind of any negativity, where I fell asleep and had a dream:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first part of the dream that I remember is where I am in the online game world of 'AION'. I'm wearing some nice light armor and using a Bow and Arrows to train on large pigs or something. I am in a beautiful overgrown enchanted forest, and I recall being in very similar dreams before. There are many other Elyos training with me. They seem to be very focused on the kill while I am mostly just enjoying the feeling of being one with the deep enchanted forest. It is quiet and so so peaceful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next part of the dream that I remember is where I am in a nice apartment building that is apparently my friend's, Sarah's. This apartment building is huge and beautifully decorated. The carpet is red, and all rooms are cozy and comfortable. I am going back up the elevator to Sarah's home. I can't recall which floor she's on. I pick 5. I walk out the elevator. I walk down the hall and turn to my left where there is a huuge room with winding stairs along the curved walls. The stairs are wooden with gold in some parts, and the steps are of an elegant deep red carpet. The walls are of a warm brown colour I think, perhaps it was dark wood. There are traditional candles lighting up the walls and a beautiful cristal chandelier on the center of the room. There is also some furniture, but I can't recall exactly what and where it was.
I start walking up the stairs, confused about where I'm supposed to find Sarah's apartment. A boy that is a year younger than me runs up the stairs, catches up with me, and asks me if I'm lost. He looks like this Asian-American guy from last year's English class that I had a crush on, but I don't question if it is actually him or someone who looks like him.
I lie down on the stairs, stare up at the ceiling, sigh and say "yeah. I'm trying to find my friend's, Sarah's apartment, but I forgot everything about where it might be."
He lied down next to me and stared up at the ceiling with me. "hmm." He said. "I think she's on the <don't remember> floor."
"Yeah, that's what I thought too, but I didn't see her there."
"Maybe her apartment will show up if you check again?"
"Yeah. For now I think I'll just enjoy this view of the stars." (Somehow the ceiling was the starry sky at this point)
The stars were just as I'd remembered them at the cottage last Summer. They gave off almost the same enchanted feeling that the dense forest gave off from the Aion portion of the dream - but I only acknowledged this while studying the dreams after waking up.

Then I think I get up and search more with that guy. We talk while we search, at one point we end up on the roof top where we get a beautiful view of the stars - which is also the landscape somehow... The stars are the view below us as well is what I mean. This does not seem strange to me however. I simply enjoy the peacefulness of everything. Then we continue searching, and eventually we find what I've been looking for. Sarah's apartment! Which ends up being my family's and my apartment. It looks very very nice. I question the strangeness of how it is my apartment a little, but get preoccupied with my mom asking me to do some things. The guy is gone. I saw Sarah there, but couldn't know exactly where she was, it was as if she was an apparition, but I did not question it. We had food that I recall thinking of being very good food but can't remember what the food was or tasted like.
A part of this dream also exists where I meet my brother's fiancee's sister, who in real life I've been told has eyebrows that make her look angry all the time, and I find out (in the dream) that my brother dated her before too. :/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last part of the dream that I recall was at some desert place that I can compare to what I think of Area 51. There are about 7 nuclear balloons floating in the sky that are in danger of exploding!! Each nuclear balloon is responsible for the energy in almost each continent of the world - Africa, North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and not Antarctica! The seventh balloon is called "THE WORLD." It is presumed that if any of these balloons blow up, their respective areas will be be blown up also. Meaning if the World balloon blew up, that would mean the end of the world.
For some reason my Dad is there with me. He runs to the gunner on the right and aims at the largest balloon (label unknown ) while I stand there motionless watching the action.
The dream switches to first person shooter mode, where I am my Dad shooting at the balloons. There is a bar on the top left corner showing the remaining life of the balloon I am shooting. For some reason, shooting the balloons will keep them from exploding. I acknowledge that the life bar may perhaps indeed prove the opposite, but I ignore this fact and do what I think I have been instructed to do! I keep shooting the balloon.

:edit: I just searched for the balloons that were in the dream and they looked exactly like this one, but only the balloon part, not the basket:



This turns out to be a 1861 civil war balloon. Interesting huh. (I've never seen this balloon before in my life, and in the dream I was shooting at it) Seeing as I was my Dad in this part of the dream, shooting at the balloons for illogical reasons I knew not of, I think it could have been a past life of my dad.

(That nuclear balloon part of the dream did not have that enchanted feeling like the other parts had. It was more of a thrilling happy feeling)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then I wake up.

I was in an unfamiliar place at first. I then heard people talk about the nuke "practice" nearby.

I was in our hometown's plaza. We can see the explosion from there. Some things fell. Dust? Debris? Ice?

I dreamed I was kind of a secret agent, but nothing like James Bond, more like Toorop (Babylon AD). I was walking in tunnels with a large bush knife and a machine gun, and I was going to dismantle a secret underground base that had an atomic missile. After passing through a tunnel filled with traps and guards I went into the silo where the missile was.
I climbed the stairs and ended up in a wide street (after leaving the railing)
Two men came running towards me with arms to keep me from fleeing.
I stabbed the first in the right side of the abdomen, he immediately died.
I continued to run, the second tried to shoot me, I was quicker and shot him with a machine gun burst. He fell to the ground, dead, I kept running.
A third man saw me and released a German shepherd who began running towards me. I ran faster until i reached a river.
I jumped into the water (jump and dive).
The dog swam behind me too, but I managed to get to the other side of the river.
My allies were waiting for me with tanks and troops. There is one person who helps me get out of the water, a brother in arms). The dog fled ... I managed to escape.
I looked to my reflection in a tank ... I have long hair, a brown trench coat and a black and white scarf around me. I have military boots.
The dream "tells me" that I am part of the French Resistance, and I am fighting against the Italians. The river that I crossed is the border between France and Italy.

__________________________________

Comment: Part of the dateless dreams series