Recent DJ Posts

A semi-lucid I had the other night, I was on a street close to the clubhouse in my childhood neighborhood, there was a dialogue going on but I interjected and said "this is a dream" and then the dream exploded into vividness, I started to try to stabilize the dream, I rubbed my hands together, I said "three plus three is..." and there was a slight pause in the dream then I said "six", I looked forwards and feared that the dream was going to wobble and collapse but I did something I don't normally do and I spun around to stabilize the dream, I remember vividly trying to stay conscious to keep the lucid dream alive, earlier in the dream I had become vivid and feared I was going to become too excited to pop the dream but it didn't end at that point.

I was outside with my mom, the dream scene was on a slope against a coast. My mom and I were picking in the grass, there had been some sort of item that had exposed a group of drugs and my mom was on the case, I was acting innocent like I'd never seen it, I threw the object onto the ground and my mom went on to the ground to see it, we were both now on the ground looking at what was originally a small object of drugs turned into a row of acid and molly, while I'm looking at this on the ground with my mom I see a girl from my high school Ol in a lawn chair against the house shuffling back and forth, she eventually gets up, she turns into my older sister, my view turns towards the ocean, I'm wearing a cape, the wind catches my cape and I'm flying down the slope towards the ocean, I think I may land hard but I fly upwards before landing harshly and I land in the ocean beyond the markers, and now I'm swimming towards the shore towards other people who are within the markers.

Every time I watch through Fringe, my subconscious focuses on Olivia's discovery of her ability to cross to the alternate universe, and how she became trapped there. Then usually jumps to the part where Peter is erased from the timeline but traces of him continue to exist in the minds of those closest to him.
My subconscious seems to have a thing for them heh heh.

In the dream I am the equivalent of Astrid but in this version of Reality I was a cortexaphan subject like Olivia. My ability was similar to hers but while hers was to cross to the other universe, I couldn't cross but could create a bridge. Allowing anyone without an ability to cross, or I could lessen the cost of crossing.
So, I went with her to the other side and witnessed her capture and reconditioning but I remained outside of the story. When I finally met her again she found a way to cast me back to our universe, interrupting the storyline of the show where Fauxlivia had infiltrated our group and instead caused Fauxlivia's early incarceration.
In Olivia's absence, Peter and I became close. On the cusp of being more.
Olivia's return happens in the backyard of my childhood home. It's all washed out, wintry. There's a shift in our dynamic but no one wants to talk about it. Peter's attention has shifted from Olivia to me, and she is bitter because it never would have happened if she hadn't sent me back first.
There's a lapse. I'm leaving my apartment. This part is confusing. I promise Peter that we will go somewhere first but we have to be quick because I have work. I get into the back of the car because just as we are leaving Olivia climbs into the passenger seat. Peter is driving so I ask where we are going, he says he'll drop me off at work. I argue that I'll still need my car to leave work later, and that we should go to get that first. He has an easy-going manner, lazily talking over me.
"No really, just drop me off at my car..."
"Don't worry, you'll get where you need to go."
"Please, just listen to me for two seconds..."
"It'll be fine, everything will work out..."
Then suddenly he isn't driving, Olivia is driving from the passenger seat? Olivia accelerates and Peter falls back, clutching the back of his seat and the door, still smugly iterating that everything will be fine and I need to relax. His own seat is laying almost flat against the back seats. I'm crouching on the ridiculously spacious floorboard in the back, arguing with him.
On a whim I walk to Peter and lean down over him.
I tell him to shut up and bravely bridge the gap that neither of us could before, I kiss him firmly on the mouth to ensure his shutting up.
He sits there blankly, not moving. I worry I have made a mistake and embarrassed, I retreat to the other side of the stupidly spacious car.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." I give him an excuse and space enough to ignore my rude action. Should he wish to. Of course he'll wish to.

Then he is there, standing over me. Damn dashing in his dark red button-up and black vest. He smiles a little and tells me I've misunderstood his shock. He tilts my chin upward so I must meet his eyes, and in sync he drops to his knees as I rise smoothly to mine and we smile a little as he presses his mouth to mine. It's an odd, distant sort of lucidity. I can feel his mouth. His shoulder under my hand as I draw him closer. It feels familiar somehow.
My body molds to his, straddling his thigh. Half lucidity does me a disservice, making his mouth too wet, drawing every second of the kiss out, the scrape of teeth on tongue. I ignore it.

Then I am suddenly aware of Olivia looking at us from the passenger seat. I break the kiss, it is incredibly rude to make out with someone while his once-time girl sits watching.
She smiles and bitingly says, "Don't stop on my account. I know how...charming he can be."
I flush, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, you know I didn't intend..." I begin, turning toward her.
"Didn't intend what?" Olivia asks.
"I know that you two were supposed to..." I can't finish. I feel like I've stolen something from her and don't even have the decency to acknowledge the theft. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't send me back sooner."
She smiles a little, she's beautiful even in her bitterness, with her dangerously red lips.
I look to Peter who has retreated to the other side of the car.
Olivia leans forward to kiss my neck and I am so overwrought already that I...react. She pulls away and I fluidly turn to give her a slow kiss. There's so much in this small, stupid scene. She feels brittle and sad and distant, mindlessly pursuing oblivion. I think about offering to share him with her. You know, together, but I think she would be insulted so I keep it to myself.

At length we come to a city square that reminds me of Italy. Except it is distant and empty like a ruin. It's full of stupid restaurants? We observe them with equal amounts of puzzlement and amusement, because they revolve around Suddenly Salad. *snorts, then cackles a little*
"That's an unprecedented number of restaurants." Peter says, frowning down at a patio table, like all the ones around it it has a plate of the stupid Suddenly Salad mix.
"Yeah, it's a little excessive, isn't it?" I say with a laugh.

An advertisement for a Christmas event called the Forest of Lights; Christmas shopping in a small store that has cookies out on display, someone exclaims over them, saying that they're just like the ones his grandmother used to make, which he hasn't been able to find since she died, not knowing what they were called.

A grandmother talking to a baby which is also herself: "You're going to be just fine." She's a woman who grew up in the present era, then somehow mentally time-traveled to the past and became trapped there, and wound up living out the life of her own grandmother. She's at a family gathering now and talking about a business she owns, when she has to sit down abruptly, and then holds out her hands and comments on how they're shaking. She's sure this is the moment when she dies. She's very calm about this, to the point that the people around her think she must be joking. There's a narrator then, saying something about how a part of her always expected that when she died, she would simply wake up back in her real body in the present. But she doesn't. It was a mind-soul transfer, the narrator says. When she died, she died. That was it.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm looking at a grave marker in Erana's garden, and examining the spell on it; and then admiring the spell over the rest of the garden that makes it a sanctuary, and noting how even the water of the two rivers which flow around it are affected by the spell when they come into contact with it. Looking at all that running water, I'm having doubts about whether this will be the best place for Olivia to stay over the next few days, even though we're on her native soil, and even though it's otherwise ideal. The river running under the bridge at the entrance to the garden is just a trickle at the moment, but there's an image in my mind of that river growing wider, turning the garden into an island. I start to walk into the woods, and I pass Rogerian coming the other way with an animal he's caught for the two of them to eat. Olivia wakes up and says something about the meal, sounding delighted.

I don't remember the beginning very well, but I'm sure it looks a whole lot like the end of the dream, considering the course of events.

I'm walking through a parking lot at night. The pavement glistens with recent rain. The group fans out ahead of me, already sure of the tasks that they've been given. Out of the corner of my eye, I first notice Jack from Lost. He's wearing a faded red shirt and is carrying a black back pack.
"Someone left the van open." A man, the owner, says. I'm closer to it.

"I got it!" I call out and go over to the van. It's an older model, faded brown with dark stripes down the sides, with an aluminum ladder

and spare tire on the back. The door on the left has a top and a bottom half that move independently of each other. When I press the bottom closed, the top springs open. The tire is in the way and I'm short, so I can't put enough pressure on it for it to click shut.
Jack sees that I'm having trouble and splits off from the group to help. He reaches over my shoulders to put his weight on the stubborn door, for a few seconds my back is pressed against his chest. I'm enjoying the contact, but he doesn't notice. The lock finally clicks into place and he steps away, gesturing for me to follow.
After a moment he drops his head like he's trying to hide his amusement. He briefly smiles at the ground and says,

"You couldn't close the van door because you're too short."

I pretend to be offended. "Jack! I could reach the door, I just couldn't get enough...leverage."
The word seems vaguely dirty, though the connection is too vague for me to grasp.

"Because you're too short?"

"Yes, fine, because I'm too short. Jerk."

I smack his forearm, he chuckles.

We reach a closed off section of the parking lot. The others separate into groups.

"Are you clear on what you need to do?" He asks me.

"Yep!" I say enthusiastically, even though I'm struggling to remember what I'm supposed to do. He kneels beside a pile of junk. It's a lot

of plastic shopping bags, a mattress, and there's a man spread out on top of it.

Jack sets down his back pack and starts taking things out of it. I produce an alarm clock, intuiting that I'm supposed to set it. We're

being...secretive. At the time, I understood the reasoning behind the alarm clock, but I can't remember now. It was supposed to help us prove a point. The clock says that it's 6:47AM, I start to set it for 6:49AM, and I turn the volume down, clicking the buttons carefully, so not to wake the man on the mattress.

"What time should I set it for?" I ask, realizing that I don't know when we're supposed to test it. I so very much what him to think I'm

clever, quick.

"Don't worry about it now." He snaps at me."I'll tell you when I'm finished."

I suddenly feel stupid and useless. I set it back to a default setting, the time displays as 99:99.
A woman crouches down next to me.

"Are you almost ready?" She gives me an encouraging smile. I nod. We stand and move a few steps away from Jack. She moves in

front of me and holds out her loosely closed fist.

"Tell me what this will do, so I know you understand." She says.

Dutifully, I recite the plan. I will take a pill that will allow me to become Lucid and to Travel to the places in question. I will help them break the stalemate on the case by giving them notes written in my sleep, that will let them know which areas are the right ones to search for new evidence.

"We're done preparing. Are you ready?" Jack asks, coming to stand with us.

I nod and the woman opens her hand. Resting in her palm is a small, round red pill with RD imprinted on the top.
Jack wishes me luck.

I take the pill and pop it into my mouth. I briefly wonder what will happen to my body while I'm out Walking. Does it stay behind? Or am

I sleepwalking? It bothers me that I never wondered before. Immediately upon consumption, the world sharpens to waking clarity. I'm freed of the restrictions of the dream. I turn a full circle, taking in my surroundings. I run a few steps and leap into an elaborate string of tumbles. Apparently I like acrobatics. I bend forward, plant my hands on the ground and lift into a perfect handstand, I fold my legs backward until I'm almost C shaped, before touching my toes to the ground and standing up.

Now I get to see all the things that happened at the beginning of the dream, I get a do-over. I'm walking down a drab street choked

with black dead trees. The buildings are dark grey, the cobbles are a lighter grey. Two boys try to get my attention by pretending to be rude. They're teenagers, skateboarders. The last time I did this, it made me angry that they were being rude. But I'm not the only one getting another chance. The last time, they allowed me to walk into a confrontation and I was hurt.
This time, the boys know that the Midnight Watch is coming and they are trying to warn me without appearing to be involved. I wave to placate them, they know, but I know it too.

I walk to a wide trunk thrusting its way out of the middle of the street. From the other side I can hear whimpers of pain. I peek around

the tree and two men leap from the treeline, howling like madmen, making for the person huddled by the roots.
I smile and pull a throwing knife from my belt. I leap around the tree and neatly throw a knife into the leading man's stomach. He falls down, clutching the wound.
I look the other man in the eyes and, slowly, draw another knife from my belt. I smile.
He hastily gathers his friend and they stumble back the way they came.
The person I rescue clutches at me, trying to thank me for my intervention. I don't even look at them. I still have work to do.

There's a lapse. I know I went somewhere else but I can't remember where. Something about soldiers being called, the front of a grey stone building with cobbled streets outside.

I'm in Jack's house. The front room is oddly shaped. Just inside the front door is a single step up, the living room is large and bare. The living room curves back alongside the front door, there's a wall ledge sticking out of the floor? The wall is painted a dull orange. The ceiling is yellow. Jack's father is laying on the ledge, bundled in blankets. He is dying.
His father refuses to share the secret with Jack before he dies, he says that Jack's high morals are a liability and that his pure ideals make him worthless to the company. He says that it makes him weak, and he has no business cunning.
The hurt and rage heats Jack like a furnace, it fills the entire room. Jack yells something and turns to leave. I follow him.

"He doesn't mean it, it's the.."

"What do you know about it, little girl?" The way he says it makes me feel small and stupid. I know that the last time I gave him a

reproachful look and swept out the door. I also know it only makes him feel worse. I see myself from his point of view. I'm wearing a vivid navy blue v-neck t-shirt with black Jeans (funny, I usually see all Jack characters wearing blue and black), My hair is pulled back into a glossy, wavy tail. Now I get a choice.

There's a wall that juts out in front of the door at an angle, making a narrow V shaped space. He's standing at the peak of the V.

I reach the door and instead of leaving, I walk back around to the other side of the wall. He is tall enough that he can rest his head on his folded arms atop the wall. I take his face between my hands. He reluctantly raises his eyes to mine and then drops them. I lean forward to kiss him and he tenses, giving me a distracted smile and a tiny shake of the head. Now isn't the time. I'm disappointed and sad, I know I've overstepped my bounds.
I can tell his father has hurt him though, I know I should go, but first...
I vault over the wall and fling my arms around him. He protests, I refuse to let go, tightening my arms around his middle and squeezing. He issues a startled laugh and drops his arm across my shoulders, giving me a brief, breath stealing squeeze. I release him and tell him everything will be alright, then I wander away.

I see some scenes where I have completed the dreamwalk and the team follows in my wake, picking up notes I have left behind on yellow post its. Where jack's father died, I wrote a note that says "sleep, little dreamer, wake when all has ended. Until then, dream on little dreamer."
Someone picks up the note and asks another team member, "What do you think this one means?"
"Damned if I know..."

Olivia Dunham, Me and K on a Forklift
I rush into the mall. It's vast and busy. It's around noon, I know I have several hours yet before I have to be somewhere. I'm headed for the escalator when I notice Olivia Dunham standing by the railing, across from a dress shop. She looks amazingly pretty, but serious. Her lips are bright red, long hair gathered over one shoulder. She's wearing a black dress.
"Would you like to buy a dress?" She asks me. She smiles, but it doesn't look friendly. I can tell she doesn't care one way or another.
"This is your shop then?"
"Of course."
I glance over my shoulder and see several circular racks full of dresses. I wonder if any of them will fit me. A black and white dress with a zig-zag pattern catches my eye. I know they are probably too expensive for me, at least $200 for one dress. I step closer to her, but I'm about to make an excuse. I need to leave, I'm getting married tonight. (Really not, but my subconscious likes to use that as an excuse to make me feel terrible.)
She can feel my hesitation. "Your hair is lovely." She kind of means it, just a little. "How do you get it to do that it?"
I briefly see myself from her point of view. My hair is fantastically wavy.
"It just dries this way."
She doesn't believe me, and any spark of friendliness she showed me is gone. She flicks her eyes away, annoyed. I notice an archway next to her.
I know it's a doorway to the other universe.
"Can you open that?" I ask, intensely curious. I would like nothing more than to escape from my impending marriage, to go Home.
"Oh yes."
"Would you open it for me?"
"Sure. Go to the other side of the arch."
Obediently I do as she says. I pick up a piece of chalk from a box at the foot of the arch and draw a symbol on the side. Nothing happens. When I go over to her side, she is crouched by her mark, clearly amused. I see a mocking smiley face. She glances at me and smiles meanly.
"Oh, did you actually think I could open a gate?" She asks with a mock apologetic tone. She has made me feel incredibly stupid. She stands and crosses her arms, smirking at me.

There's a lapse. My friend K and I are driving down the highway, in a loaded forklift. We're going ridiculously fast, such speed that I can't make out anything that's happening on the road. We fly out into the open air, having driven off a cliff.
"Oh no." He says. The vehicle tumbles through the air. I wonder when we're going to land, and if it's going to hurt. As I'm wondering that we land wheels down atop a semi, unharmed.
"Huh." He says. "interesting." He hops down to the ground. "Now, how do we get the thing down from there."
He tries to figure a way to move the forklift without damaging the product.
I roll it off the semi.
"How did you do that?" he asks.
"I dunno."
"Weird."
Yeah."

I don't remember the beginning of the dream, but the first thing I DO remember is saying to LostInLA "Okay, I'm going to wake up now." Suddenly everyone around us stopped and stared for a while suddenly turned towards us and started to come after us both.

I presume it was because they think that if I wake up, they will all die.

We were being chased through a kind of miniature city, as in a previous dream. Eventually we got to a balcony. It was cloudy and overcast, raining, and about 5 in the afternoon because it was half-dark.

I was cornered against the railing while my friend ran off another direction. 20 metres (65 feet) below me was a carpark, so I jumped off and tried to land on a car, instead hitting the ground, hard.

I thought "Wow I should be dead," feeling all broken etc. The car I was facing had a silhouette of the driver's seat, but then it changed into a person and so I threw a nearby glass bottle at the window, quickly stood up, and saw a car drive up to me. The car was covered in advertisements for Xbox Kinect and was bright green and pink, compared to the gloomy grey everywhere else.

I got in and LostInLA was in the back. I don't know who the driver was, but we drove away. There was conversation, but I don't remember what was said. Something like "Where can we go? The whole world is gone!"

We turned down a small street which turned out to be a dead end. It was a place where you can launch a boat into the water. In a previous dream, we had driven over this water in a car, because we were going fast enough, and there were no zombies lol. I said "The water is too rough to drive over," and suddenly there was a possessed baby in front of the car, so we started to drive to the left, there the dead end extended to...
And then I woke up D=

I went to bed after listening to some new songs, and the weirdest dream I have ever had.

In a room in a warehouse with LostInLA and other church friends. I knew I was in a dream, but I wasn't lucid; it was part of the story. Me and LostInLA wanted to have a shared dream, so we lay on these reclined chairs and took a pill each. I bit into mine and tried to swallow the liquid inside it. As I did something was wrong; people said "No Kevin!"
I think I took the wrong pill.

I went into a dream, I felt like it was my own mind. I was walking around in my dream. It was a normal place and the dream was very stable and deserted. I was thinking about how I would be in this dream for ages because dreamtime is faster and I was supposedly two layers down.

I was walking up this road toward the spot where I had my first lucid moment. I looked behind me and the sun was setting until it was night.
*MEMORY GAP*

I looked up and It was morning in my dream and I made my way towards where I entered this dream. I saw some stairs which I climbed. At the top there was a doctor's office. I asked the receptionist if I could sit here because I was tired of just walking around. She said yes.

There were two other people waiting for the doctor. My church friend Rachael came out of the doctors office and I said "What are you doing here?" I thought it was just my dream. She said something like "I've been here since I got sick."
*MEMORY GAP*

I realized I was dreaming FOR REAL sometime later. Everything was white and I yelled "Increase clarity now!" three times and rubbed my hands, but again, it felt like I was doing it for real in my bed and that it was too late.

WTF?!
I think that lucid dreaming feels so real that I think I'm really doing the reality check. Grr...

I woke up into the first dream, after everyone was crowded around me shaking me to wake me up.

Later, I showed LostInLA my cast coming off; I pulled my arm out of it and it was all sticky and gross. She was like "Ewwww..."

I woke up.

There was much more than that though. Something about a bus.

All I can remember is that it's night-time, and I'm at my dream version of LostInLA's house. When I go inside she is around a corner at her computer, and some strange man is in the house. It turns out to be her brother.

The end.