• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. 2018-12-03 Prospective collapse of water structure releasing the dinosaurs and electrocuting big dad

      by , 12-03-2018 at 02:07 AM
      Non-lucid – NoteslucidInterpretationwake/dream visuals/visions

      2018-03-12 There have been many dreams of late, a certain theme have played over in its variety of incarnations. Approaching the water, confronting/releasing the reptiles. This dream showed up about a week following our last gathering. It felt big, as intense symbolically as when I have been guided previously by African Dream root. I didn’t intend to dive into it, but it seems appropriate at this time.

      Dream 1: (2018-11-23) A series of events transpire in a complicated building complex with a large body of water, containing dinosaurs in them, which revolve around teaching others to express their needs and confronting children in an armoured “Big Daddy” suit.

      I am in a large building complex, it is very bright and modern looking. There is plenty of sunlight pouring through the windows and there is a lot of greenery spread out around in the building. It is as if the building is roughly centred around a large pool in the middle, which is in place both at the ground floor and the basement. At the ground floor this massive square pool is surrounded by spectator seats, as there are multiple shows of “scary” animals taking place. In particular at present there are two megalodons in the waters as well as a larger dinosaur that during the dream ends up killing and consuming the two sharks.

      In the beginning of the dream there is a show happening in the central room where the sharks and dino monsters are held. To begin with there is a jovial touristy atmosphere surrounding the show and all the spectator seats are filled. It very much has a Jurassic World kinda feel, which is significant in its theming.

      I find myself at the basement looking into the waters through a thick sheating of glass. This is where I observe the massive dinosaur consume the two sharks in the tank. It also slams into the glass, though I am unsure if it displays signs of cracking at this or not. In any case this is where I get the feeling that is common to my dreams “I know how this story plays out”. I know that the massive dinosaur is going to crack the tank, thereby releasing 4 dinosaurs where one is a massive snake, the other is a t-rex, the third is the water-dino itself, while the 4th is unknown (immediately here the theme of the 4th unknown deserves attention as it has been a running theme since the night before our first dream sharing gathering, where I encountered an inner child that I didn’t know all that well amongst 3 others that I knew very well).

      As per usual as I am thinking this an alarm goes off and there is a somewhat panicky atmosphere as the building starts being evacuated.

      I head out off to a side building. It is on the right hand side of the body of water. This time I am on the upper floor. I am sat on a pathway made of steel and below there is a botanic room, again beautiful and floral. I am preparing a workshop. This workshop is about me making myself available to my clients for whatever they dare express their desires around. This particularly is meant for me to teach others about expressing their desires in a public forum, but with me as an object (something that was a major theme at a spiritual workshop in 2017, which I spoke to MA about). F is there and she says that she is interested in a massage, but nothing sexual.

      Then I am in Hornslet, where I grew up. M is there with E on the road from the park, leading up to the council building. For some reason this is still connected to the building complex with the sharks and dinos. I am also there talking to M about what happened between them at the spot, so both while it is happening and after. M tells me how they decided to have sex, despite some of the warnings we had discussed about romantic ideations following transpersonal journeys.

      M tells me: “We had a lot of sex and to begin with it was just vaginal penetration. But then I decided to fuck her in the ass, despite the fact that she had told me that she didn’t want to. It was rough on her, but I decided to do it anyway so she would have the experience from a friend. She needed to learn”. Throughout this interaction there is an implicit meaning between us around E’s tendency of leaning too hard on support from the outside, in particular male support, which can lead to her being exploited, which is what M was trying to teach her tough-love style.

      There is a brief flash of running into my Cousin on a similar steel pathway on the uppermost floor.

      The last full scenario again takes place on the right hand side of the large body of water, somehow in the same place as the last scenario with “expressing desire”, yet also below and somewhat unrelated. Again very bright and a light and pleasant atmosphere.

      I am in a “Big Dady” suit from Bio Shock. I have almost won, yet I am caught off-guard by a grenade that slips under a big white statue or cardboard cut-out of a statue. The grenade is thrown by a little girl and the reason it catches me off guard is that I have stepped in a puddle of water and the grenade explodes in a long arc of lightning, nearly killing me. I try to escape by rushing to the stairways, but am electrocuted.

      I sit down and feign death until the little girl and her mother appears. They walk down towards me the mother approaching. She leans really close checking my pulse, talking to me, asking me if I am dead or not. She has almost decided that I am death until one of my eye-lashes brush against her cheek and she proclaims “I felt a streak of lash against my cheek” and she discovers my deception. But she is so close and in such a vulnerable position that I manage to throw her off and have her eliminated upstairs.

      The small girl that was accompanying her mother knows that upon the death of her mother that she can’t hope to win our contest. I am simply armoured too heavily in my “Big Dady” suit. I walk upstairs and am now confronted by 3 children, 2 boys and the girl. They all know they have lost, but decide to choose their weapons – pillows.

      As we engage in a pillow fight and the kids seem drained of hope, I get a bad feeling. I feel bad for them and as such I decide not to fight to kill them.

      Dream Ends.

      Non-lucid – NoteslucidInterpretationwake/dream visuals/visions
    2. Terrifying sea creature, almost got raped again, battle royal

      by , 08-15-2018 at 03:27 PM (Exterminate)
      Alright I have had enough of these dreams where I almost get molested by creepy dudes. Is it a subconscious fear I have now? I wonder where the hell it came from because I want it gone.

      I was on a lake/ocean in a boat/vehicle. A family member was with me, but then they left for some reason. They said they'd be back soon, but as I was waiting I heard a very disturbing sound beneath me. It sounded like the growl of a large and ancient beast. It sounded similar to this one, with the reverberating breathing. It was loud and made me scared to my core. Anyway, just after I heard the sound the car bumped up a bit. And again it happened. Suddenly the vehicle capsizes. I had opened the window a bit earlier to try to see what had made that noise, but now that I was capsizing I tried to roll the window up but I didn't have enough time. I saw the water coming closer and I took a deep breath. I then fell into the water and dove as far as I could to try to avoid the beast from below. I was not fast enough, and it bit off my leg at the knee. It then circled back and swallowed the rest of me whole. I tried to grab hold of it's mouth just before it swallowed me just so I could know what it was that killed me. It had a long pointed snout and reminded me of a shark. I woke up likely in sleep paralysis. My whole body felt constricted and I thought I was actually dead for a second.

      There was more to this one, but basically me and brother were in the middle of nowhere with a semitruck. There was just desert all around. While he wasn't looking I threw gas on everything and then lit the truck and ran for my life. The thing went off like a nuclear bomb. I expected the mushroom cloud and the heat and stuff, but didn't anticipate the flying debris. I just kept running to avoid being chunked down by the flying pieces. It was truly a sight to behold.

      My brother driving me through a town I didn't recognize. It was a large city and reminded me of Vegas. It was at night and I saw several fireworks displays going off. As we drove down some winding highways at a decent speed I took in the sights of the various light shows and suddenly my brother tells me to hold on to something. I look forward at the road and it has a large gap with the street continuing after a few feet. We keep our speed and fall right through the hole and find ourselves doing some weird roller coaster of a track designed just for this. It takes the speed and weight of the vehicle and as long as you keep the pedal to the metal, then you will complete the track without injury. This thing was wild. It had loop-de-loops, jumps, falls, the works. I saw a smaller car that failed the loop and ended upside down and crashing to the ground. I felt very scared that our car may end up the same. I got mad at Kris for taking me here, and he said he brings many people here and that it is one of the best attractions in town.

      I was playing a battle royal sort of game, with gameplay like fistful of frags (Played the game for hours yesterday). Each game was 100 players. There were several weapons you could use and they were all pretty good. It was so satisfying getting 6+ kills in a row. I was able to escape large groups of people by floating above. I remembered this technique from my past as I could hold my breath and it allows me to fly higher. The group of 5 said I was cheating because they only had melee weapons and couldn't reach me. I said they were cheating for being in such a large group, and that there was no way I could beat all of them when they're grouped like that. I played a few rounds of this. Out of maybe 4 rounds I came in first twice. I recall the last time I played it the remaining 2 enemies besides me were Conan O'Brian and Stephen Colbert. Conan was weaponless and wasn't actually playing. I managed to get Stephen Colbert, but it wasn't easy. I had to attack his head and he kept using a hood to conceal where I could attack. I eventually pinned him to the ground and sliced open his neck. Brutal.

      I was at a hotel trying to mind my own business but the people behind and in front of me pressed so close against me they forced me to follow them. I wanted to just leave them alone, but it seemed they were doing this on purpose. I noted the guy behind me was wearing skin tight latex. Not the black kind, but it was red and white. They got me to a floor with nobody around and a guy tried to pull a gun on me while the latex guy advanced toward me and tried to sexually assault me. I fended them off and ran up the stairs as fast as I could. As I rounded a clearing the guy was rounding the clearing in the stairs just below. This continued for 2-3 floors until I stopped and waited for him to catch up. Just as he was about to come into view I swung around the corner and knocked him down the stairs and kept running until the dream ended.
    3. Awesome old scrapheap city.

      by , 08-02-2018 at 02:33 PM (Exterminate)
      There was this town that I came across that was severely ruined and old. A kid brought me there to show me his junk collection. He had claimed this large area and wanted to give me a tour of all his treasures he had. He said it was important that I stay with him, and that he would help me in my quest. Think of this area like the gray terminal in One Piece. This kid had just claimed a small area of the terminal. I got impatient and ran ahead into the inner city. It seemed to just be a few mostly destroyed homes and empty plots of land. It had a big empty plot for a castle with two large staircases that had figures still standing where the stairs would be. You could almost imagine how big the castle would have been at the top of the hill. The inner city would have had about 10 homes, and the outer city down the hill a bit had about 30. Down further you could see a beautiful body of water. There was a building still standing, still inhabited. I talked with the man there. He was in his 60s and was willing to offer me a drug that could show me the past so that I may learn how to fight in incoming threat. He needed a few materials that I could get from the junkyard out front of the city. One of the materials was choline. I left the man's house and took in the sights again. I noticed a statue standing across the town, and by where I was were the plaques. I started telling my brother about this dream while reading the plaques. They were black with gold writing. They were very clean and looked brand new. The plaques told the town's purpose, their wars, the arena where they'd have duels with dragons, their use of dragons in defending their town, and more. My brother asked the name of the city and I couldn't find it. I was looking around and saw a sign that called the town jNIjl. I tried telling Kris the exact capitalization while telling myself not to wake up as I was doing so, but that caused me to do just that as I got about 3 letters in. Turns out I wasn't talking to my brother after all.


      I also had an earlier dream where my oldest brother did his ex-wife a favor my taking care of a baby with major deformations and a dog with a broken back. He tried to pawn the injuries onto me and Kris but we were disgusted and wanted nothing to do with them. We were upset at Jeff for ironically not having a backbone and that he should have declined to care for these poor souls, but he does whatever she tells him to and couldn't say no to her. I also noticed our grandparent's dog trixie was there. Apparently they didn't want their dog either. I was okay with that one though, their dog is a Shih Tzu. Adorable little ball of energy that one was.

      Another dream involved me at a concert looking for my brother. I looked everywhere and couldn't see him. He eventually finds me and says he was at the concession stand waiting for me. As we were leaving the concert some guy got real close behind me and kept walking my same pace. He was pressed all the way against me and then tried to rape me. By that I mean I felt penetration. Gross. Good thing there was two layers of clothes separating his thing and me, but wtf. I quickly turned around, knocked him off his feet, cut off his hand and grabbed a nearby buzzsaw and put it close to his face. I saw the panic in his eyes and decided it would be more torture to keep him alive, so I then just walked away.
    4. Unspeakable things!

      by , 02-27-2017 at 08:54 PM
      Saturday night Dream 1: I was somewhere in the early 1800's in an outside market of some kind. Some creepy guy took one of my grand daughters. He was doing unspeakable things to her. I was outraged of course which turned me all lucid & angry. Then an evil man tried to say it was my fault that I let this happen yet he wouldn't give her back to me. I woke up, thx Meesha Cat .

      Saturday D2: Chained right back into the dream angry & hell bent on revenge & very lucid! I went back to sleep & went back into the dream. I then had to sneak in to where she was being helped & took her back. Everything was made of weathered wood. I ran at superspeed & had great strength so I sent the men flying like rag dolls. It was very detailed for the era. We then escaped & I then woke myself up.

      My other daughters kids were staying with me this weekend & her 2 yr old was acting strange. (These are not my grand kids I normally refer to. These are my other daughters kids.) She lives with her dad's father & her father who have made her afraid of other ppl so when she stays the night she always wants her father. He's a manipulative prick. Some how I ended up with this horrific nightmare. I don't necessarily think this kind of thing is happening yet it does represent my concerns as a whole. I went back into this dream to rid myself of anger which was therapeutic..... I was able to help my grand daughter to not feel scared to be at my house which made me feel better also. Her & her brother have never been okay sleeping in the kids room w/o me before until now. He fell asleep & I stayed w/in earshot & went in periodically to soothe her & to reassure her that I will always be just a few feet away & can hear her. They went to sleep the next night w/o incident at all! I told my daughter about all of this when she came by. Hopefully soon she will get her new job schedule & daycare fixed to get my grand kids back w/ her, her new baby & new baby daddy soon! What a mess.

    5. A Rape, a pillage of a house & flying hospital

      by , 09-27-2016 at 06:52 PM
      D1: Non-lucid nightmare: I was being held down & raped by some man I didn't know. It was so intense I woke up.

      I tried to go back in to get a lucid out of it to do the TOTM but no dice.

      D2: Non-Lucid: I was with a big group of ppl & we were pillaging a house for random stuff. We were lost & just came across it. The family was the Duggar Family from the show 19 kids & counting, (Was weird cuz I quit watching that show some time ago) The father got really angry & was trying to make us leave.

      D3: Non-Lucid: I was in a flying hospital. Yup, I flying hospital indeed, lol. I needed to get medical attention for something but never new why. I had 2 female friends w/ me. I was trying to find my husband (not any husband I've had in this lifetime) I didn't look like me. Both mine & his appearance kept changing. It was really weird. And our genders kept changing too! Finally I found him & we closed the curtain on an open ER Room w/ the curtain but it wouldn't close all the way around. A couple of my friends, both women whom I seemed to be really good friends w/ were saying "GO for it!" And watched us have sex, lol.

      About an hour before I went to bed my husband & I had an intense conversation about how we met & a revelation I had during the day. We both feel that some other force kept pulling us together no matter what we did. He pursued me for 3 yrs before I gave in. It was an intense 3 yrs. We also both married other ppl briefly but it just wasn't right. He would always turn up behind me at work & freak me out, lol. But I would anticipate him & he would make my heart about jump out of my chest each time w/ attraction. I was always afraid he was a coke/meth addict because he is tall & slim & has a lot of energy. I was afraid because I used to be an IV drug user in my twenties & I don't want anything or anyone like that around me. But then it turned out I should've just asked him earlier & believed him. Everyone we know was like "It's about time!" in the end. We still till this day call him my stalker, lol. But ironically we both believe we were supposed to marry to the ppl in between all of this, because they both died during the year following our marriage (also 3 yrs later, I made him wait again, lol). But before they died they both changed in some ways. My ex was always very bitter & angry. He was dying from liver & kidney failure & turned to God in his final months & Mike's ex was never bitter towards me & actually liked seeing us happy together, she died in a fire... Ironically my marriage to this man ended because of his health. I told him he was going to die & had to change his eating habits & I refused to sit back & drag my kids down this road of slowly watching him kill himself in such a way. I new w/o a doubt he would die. He then went back to live w/ his mother & sister whom he had lived w/ many yrs before he was w/ me so he was never alone... Anyway I think that's where my dreams from tonight came from. Except the first one. I think that was because Meesha Cat was mauling my head to get up & feed her & it triggered that rape dream cuz he kept grabbing my hair. Of course I'm sure some of what we talked about that I didn't mention here was helpful w/ that dream. We had a pretty in-depth conversation./COLOR]
    6. Villains Everywhere (NSFW)

      by , 08-01-2016 at 06:09 PM
      Almost the whole dream is NSFW so I'm not putting it in spoilers. I don't know why I met someone from Craigslist, I've never done that in real life so don't judge me.

      Trying to escape or conquer a villain. We’re walking along a crosswalk. I see people from SDS having a picnic outside. One girl at a picnic table brings out some cobbler dishes and nobody is eating them. Around some bushes, Nancy likes to be massaged on the wires beneath a ziplock tupperware rim. She said A.W. is really good at it. On the other side of the street is a bar or something. Inside I’m not sure if I’m me or the guy I’m with, but he/I say that he’s/I’m materialistic and need to hang out with the muscular guys. On the second or third story we find a group of men sitting and watching porn. Now I’m me. We join and he orders me sit next to him in front of the window (something to do with luring the villain or an escape plan). He starts getting turned on and can’t sit still or quiet. He actually ejaculates inside his jeans after only a few minutes. I wonder if he’s gay. I invite some guy over from Craigslist. He thinks I’m a man and is planning on having gay sex with me. I don’t remember what my intention is. He’s rubbing on me and is getting turned on. He looks rather large. He is kneeling over me and I can see it in his jeans, then he lays next to me and takes it out. We’re in my current bedroom. I get up to find a condom and see that there are villainous people outside looking in at him through the window and laughing. I worry that they’re going to find me so I crawl beneath the window. I search for condoms but all I see are medium sizes and unlabeled ones. I’m worried they’re all too old. I go back out and he starts feeling underneath my panties. I’m certain he’ll lose interest soon. He tells me I have a nice penis and I tell him, “What an odd thing to say.”. He starts rubbing me and I'm quite wet. He seems even more turned on now, to my surprise. His sexuality and motive confuses me. Suddenly I feel dirty and uncomfortable and I’m worried about the bad guys so I tell him I have to leave. My family is packing up to move away from the danger and are upset that we decided to recently paint a room and wasted valuable escape time on it. The rest of the house is mom’s. On some of the light wood in the living room there were pen writings of all our names, like a teen girl would do. I search for a rag to help A.C. clean it up so we don't leave any trace of us behind. The guy starts following me around and I tell him he needs to leave. He says that if I don't have sex with him he will complain to Craigslist and I’ll have to pay him for false advertising. I’m in the laundry room and I remind him that the ad and the rendevouz were advertised as free, it’s not like he was paying me so I don't owe him any compensation. If anything, he should be paying me. I get an old surgical rag and go back upstairs. He’s starting to get violent and scary. I tell him “You need to get out right now or I’m calling the police.” He doesn’t immediately start leaving so I pick up the phone on the wall and call 911. I tell the lady on the other end that there’s a man in my house who is being sexually violent and he won’t leave. I circle around the wall island to get away from him. She said it appears he already cut the contact from my other phones so I couldn’t call for help. I am shocked and repeat what she says for everyone to hear. Then he pulls the phone jack from the wall piece and I lose connection. He gets scared and leaves. I call 911 back but accidentally push an extra 1, it rings a few times then connects me to a business. I hang up and dial 911 again, immediately the same lady answers. I tell her it’s me again and she recognizes my voice. I tell her that he left but I’m scared and feel unsafe and don’t know what to do next. “He knows where I live now and I can totally imagine him breaking through the windows to rape and punish me.”
      At one point during all of this I was out in the desert with D, I was feeling anxious and something was impending. I trusted my intuition.

      Updated 08-01-2016 at 06:39 PM by 70665

      Tags: rape
      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. [30-04-2016]

      by , 04-30-2016 at 08:37 AM (Snehk's Dreamlands)
      First dream

      It was dark, cold evening. I was inside a ruined bunker, thinking about finally going outside and facing a wasteland that the world has become. The bunker was mostly empty, everyone left before, only I stayed inside. I finally left it and saw a barren wasteland, devoid of any life. After a while of wandering I went back to bunker, thinking about a way to immortalize the bunker and everyone that sheltered here before. I have it a name "Tecturne" and tried to write it on paper. My younger sister was there too, she gave me some paper. I couldn't write it perfectly as I wanted.

      Second dream

      I was in a forest, it was a warm afternoon. With group of classmates we had to make some measurements of wood volume. Instead they were mobbing one of the girls, going as far as stripping her from clothes and trying to rape her. I tried to stop them.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    8. Ding-Dong-Death

      by , 09-13-2015 at 08:48 PM (Nyctophilia)
      Warning: graphic violence and sexual themes. Incredibly awful nightmare ahead.

      Night falling, there is a strange broadcast on the radio. The muffled voice of the news anchor delivers the story that a group of men are going house to house and murdering families. I was shocked to hear this and there was a certain aura of doom about those words. In that moment I hear a commotion from down the road and a desperate, blood-curdling scream from a woman. The glow of a fire I can see in the reflection of the windows of the house across the street. I do not hesitate, but I grab my family and we trek through the woods behind the house, hiding in the pitch black of the forest in the middle of the night.

      There we sat, fearfully. More screams were in the distance and I heard the sound of bombs detonating, guns firing, and screams pouring out into the night air. I listen in shock as my house is destroyed and I can see the glow of the fire rising over the treetops and brushing the underbelly of the clouds. They had caught onto us and began moving through the woods in a hot pursuit. I caught a glimpse of them, men in jackets and hoodies, wearing black gas masks. I run and run but my feet fail me. For some reason I am running in place, unable to move forward. I am tackled and dragged out into the street where two more masked men join me. One holds a staple gun and the other a serrated knife. I scream as I am pounded by a thick silver blade and shot in the leg with multiple metal staples.

      Somehow I am laying alone in the street. The bombers are still ransacking the town, running about the roads. I got up and began running, somehow my wounds no longer afflicting me. I kept running until I reached my grandmother's house, a few miles away. It had also been completely obliterated. Rubble was everywhere and the remains smoked heaping black clouds into the air. Rounds are fired into the air all around me.

      I then see the world behind the hard glass eyes of a gas mask. There is a medical needle in my hand filled with a strange black fluid. I stand with a group of other men, all wearing gas masks. I noticed that I was also wearing a black hoodie and dark sweat pants. They break the door of the house down and we began to move inside. There was a man inside with a shot gun, firing a round square into the chest of another madman. He dropped dead. I watch as another masked one punches the shotgun out of the man's hand and forces him into a bending-over position. With a hatchet he immediately beheads the man.

      We moved throughout the house in search of more inhabitants. It took some time, but we stumbled upon a hatch in the wooden floor and pried it open, finding a woman and two children inside. As we dropped into the basement, they grabbed a hold of them all and began to strip them down until they were completely nude. They screamed, struggled, wailed. The children are molested and then I am invited over to them. One man shoves the little girl towards me. I inject her along the side of the neck with the needle and she begins to cough up blood. She falls and I emit a demented laugh, unlike any laugh I have ever heard. It was sick and vile and hellish. As the girl drops dead, the boy is brought forward. I notice that he is very young and obviously has not gone through puberty yet. I inject him under the chin, in the soft of the throat. He falls over as well. The woman is then brought to me, and after she is raped, I lay my needle down into her breast and she dies.

      I blink, and I am somewhere else. I am myself again. No mask. No anything, for that matter. I was completely naked and my hands and feet were tied behind me. I am surrounded by more men in masks who throw several naked women next to me. In that instant they pounce upon us, ripping off their own clothes and defiling us. I am desecrated and afterwards lie there, screaming and crying. We, the victims, curl into the corner of the room together. We are all naked and I am the only male, yet I am far more afraid than they are. We are all a giant pile of pale, cowering flesh rubbing up against each other. I hide my face in the hair of a lovely young girl who is covered in blood.

      Suddenly, someone else enters the room... It is me. An exact copy of myself, only dressed in dark clothing and wearing a plastic face mask. My double was carrying a large machine gun and began mowing down the madmen. Once the final enemy had fallen, he approaches me and helps me up. The other girls are still clutching to me and are holding to me as we stand together. Clothes appear on our bodies and we move outside. There are police cars roaming down the road and I see fallen bodies in gas masks scattered everywhere. They are in every lawn and every block and all across the road. The police vehicles squish them under their tires.

      I stand there, watching. My double in the plastic mask is vanishing into the distance. I watch as he pushes into the bushes, falling under cover of the forest.
    9. Completely thrown off guard and through a loop...

      by , 08-18-2015 at 01:35 AM
      I never really ever have any bad nightmares, at least i haven't since i was a child. I took a short nap this afternoon just to kill time, and plus i was kinda exhausted. Anyway this is what i remember about my dream... and it has me pretty scared. :/



      I was kidnapped, with two other women, taken somewhere i cant tell you where. I was put on a slab of metal, and had iv's in me, pumping red liquid into my body, but it wasn't blood, i don't know how i know that it wasn't blood but i just knew. Hours later they took us to a hotel, and when we tried to scream for help no one paid any attention and all the workers were in on the kidnapping. My teeth fell out, and part of my tongue was missing...

      hours later once again, we were rapped and beaten and thrown into a horse trailer and taken somewhere else, where they attempted to put us in these long grills to transport us to another location, and i remember screaming to one of the guys I didn't want to be put in one that still had a propane tank connected to it (because i thought they were going to cook us alive.)

      Then the main guy walked away, and two of the other guys threw new clothes at us, and told us to take off, so we all ran in different directions, and ended up running down the road to a gas station (which was a Kiwk King.) I screamed for a phone and the lady cashier gave me 25 cents to use the pay phone in the middle of the store, i ran back to the pay phone, and tried to call my boyfriends phone number but i couldn't remember the first 3 digits, i tried everything and just couldn't get it, so then i ended up calling my mothers work phone number, a lady answered and put me through to my mom, and i explained to her everything that happened, and she asked where i was, and i shouted out loud to ask where we were, and we were some city called Hannah (something) beach. So, my mom said she would be here as fast as possible.

      I ran to find the clothes that were given to me, and i ran into a back room and put them on, went back out front, and seen one of the other girls that was kidnapped with me, i saw her mom and she gave me a hug and they left, then my mom was there, we left in her car.. as we were leaving the Main guy that kidnapped me saw me in my mothers car and it was a chase down the highway trying to get away from this guy. (Meanwhile while my mother is driving i'm still trying to call my boyfriend, using her cell phone, which she has his number saved in, it just wasn't saved into her contacts on her cell phone in the dream) He finally cuts us off and we get out and run into some place that turns into another hotel looking place.. and the Main guy ends up turning into someone i'm suppose to use very well.. (but who he was in the dream, i have no idea i don't recall knowing the actual person.) Then my aunt shows up and she hands me the phone and i just start crying saying all i wanna do is hear Kyle's (my boyfriend) voice just so i can tell him bye... and over the phone i hear Kyle telling me how much he loves me and about how hes tracing the call to come and find me and he will be right there to save me, then the Main kidnapper guy takes the phone shuts it off and smacks me hard across the face and i fall to the ground and i pass out (in my dream) ... and then i woke up... freaking out....
    10. Harry Potter and the Tribulation, Now with More Vampires [graphic]

      by , 07-02-2014 at 04:27 AM
      06-26-2014 -- [Almost a sort of fever dream ... very stream of consciousness, with me kind of slipping in and out of sleep, trying to remember the odd bits I was just dreaming, except the moment I slip back into the dreams, everything is different than it was a moment ago ... makes for a very confusing and difficult to remember dream.] Starts where I am Harry Potter, being chased around what mostly seems to be the muggle world, but slowly it is changing to where I am not so much being chased, but fighting off some sort of possession. Usually I am pretty successful at this, but at one point I am riding along on a bus when I start being possessed, and somehow this time I cannot fight it off. I am being taken over and being forced to rape a teenage girl. The problem is, whoever is possessing me is gripping my manhood and kind of stretching it and fluffing it and making it larger and larger. Meanwhile the girl is getting younger and smaller by the moment, and by the time I start to do this horrid thing, I am sticking an organ about two feet long and eight inches thick into a helpless toddler who more or less explodes around me. Then it is just over.

      I am sitting somewhere, reading comic books, and I find that somebody has released a superhero comic about the book of Revelations, the rapture, the tribulation, and the mark of the beast. And somehow, in the dream, this is much more moving and hard-hitting because it is written about an absurdly unreal super powered character going through the tribulation period. Then suddenly I am a little kid, standing on a field, playing soccer with a bunch of other little kids, and playing really, really badly. None of us know how to play or have any athletic talent. Just very weird stuff.

      Then I am Harry Potter with the comic book again, and I am freaking out a little, because I have been in at least four different Bible studies in the last couple of weeks with four different groups, and all of them have been about the tribulation period and the rapidly approaching end of the world. And I am really getting scared, because I have also recently been bitten by a vampire, and have the two deep, drained puncture wounds in my wrist to prove it. I know about the vampires in the book of Revelations, and combined with all these recent Bible studies and my possession and the horrible thing I was forced to do, I am almost convinced that the tribulation period has already begun, the rapture has already happened, and I have been left behind, along with all the people that I thought were good Christians who I looked up to. Its terrifying.

      Which is how I find myself 20 or 30 feet in the air, kind of perched on a telephone wire, dressed as Batman, thinking about everything while staring down at the Celebration Bible study below me, which I am supposed to be attending. I'm just trying to get my mind together, and figure out if I can even still attend the Bible study at this point. But a young punk down in the group (who is now Batman, and I am not) spots me and starts yelling at me. I am holding up the group, and who do I think I am? And if I am so irresponsible, and it means so little to me, maybe I shouldn't be in the group ... so I quit on the spot, and walk away, only to find myself standing in a rehearsal hall with Tom D. He's working on top of a huge (as in 40' diameter) silver balloon. I fly up there and face him, and explain that I have left the group, and how I fear we've missed the rapture, and I suddenly remember having almost the exact same talk with him a couple of weeks ago. But now there is the vampire bite and the comic book, and a couple more Bible studies, and it just keeps getting more serious.

      And suddenly I am on a freeway interchange that I have dreamed about before that is part Orlando, part California, part Nebraska. On one side is a very built up city, and on the other is a flat farmland rural area. I am in a car with some lady that I can't put a name to, and we just finished a visit to some out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere amusement park (think Magic Mountain) and are debating what to do next week while making multiple lane changes between at least three freeways on a massive cloverleaf. We then pull off on a shoulder that is covered in overgrown wild flowers as we try to decide where we want to go to eat.
    11. Well That DE-Escilated Quickly.

      by , 06-22-2014 at 07:35 AM (The Kestrel's Dreams)
      June 21, 2014




      orange text = Lucid


      Okay, so this one was really weird and hard to describe. I'll do the best I can. I went with my parents to a property they recently bought in the northern part of the state in which I live. We were camping; I was in my own tent while my parents slept in another tent a few feet away. I couldn't sleep very well because of this super-duper annoying-ass cricket that must have made its life goal to keep me awake.
      Anyways. This is the dream(s?) I had:


      I was with my parents on the same property we actually were visiting; but it was in the near future, when the house we're planning to build there had just been finished. But it "wasn't open" yet, and we were staying in the same tents were actually were in, out in the yard. I had woken up because of a really annoying cricket (this is why it's so confusing. I think I may have fallen asleep and inserted everything before this point, but not actually dreamed it...? I may have also unintentionally WILDed. I HAD been thinking about it as I tried to fall asleep all night, so I was in the right mindset for it I think?)

      Anyways, it was only about 6am (in the dream), and I had just woken up, but I was still tired; I got out of the tent because the cricket was being a bitch, and walked around outside. The sun was nice and warm, and I wandered around a bit. I thought I saw an old friend of mine, whom I met online a loooong time ago. He was walking around the other properties surrounding my family's. But it didn't really look like him. I had the strong impression that it was Alex, though. But I chose not to call out to him, mostly because my parents were there and it would be weird, or something. I walked around for a while, always noting where Maybe-Alex was, and eventually stopped seeing him around. I was so tired still, so I laid down in the grass to try and sleep. Here, it was strange, because I knew I was outside, but at the same time I was also inside and could see a kid I used to babysit peaking out of a crib at me and giggling. It was a bit like when you let your eyes try to battle each other for what you're seeing. Sometimes it's what your right eye sees, and it's sometimes what your left eye sees. It's hard to describe, but if you don't have a dominant eye, like me, you might better know what I'm talking about...

      Anyways, then I must have fallen asleep for a bit. The next thing I knew, my parents were waking me up and telling me it was about time to get going. I told them about seeing the kid in the crib, when I thought I saw Maybe-Alex out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked at the spot where I thought he was, he'd vanished.

      And then suddenly, there was a hand on my right shoulder, and Maybe-Alex was saying to my parents, "This little SLUT isn't quite so innocent as you think." And then all hell broke loose.
      "What the fuck Alex, why are you saying that?!"
      My mom yelled at me, "Kestrel, is that true?!"
      And they forced me to go to a doctor to have a test done. The Doctor told my parents, "It's true, she's no longer a virgin." And my mom started crying and yelling angrily at me, my Dad turned his back on me and left the room with my mom. (this wouldn't happen IRL. They know I'm not, and don't really care. I mean I'm 22 for crying out loud)

      So I'm laying in the hospital bed in the empty room, and the door opens. Maybe-Alex comes in, and I look at him, hurt. "Why did you do that? What did I do to make you call me a little slut?!" He would never do that IRL. Especially not in the tone he'd used. His voice was so malicious, so manipulating and cold.

      "I had to be sure the mother of my child is hated by her parents; that way she has no where to turn but to me." He was so fucking calm and cold.

      "And you think I'm having your baby?" I rolled my eyes.

      "I know you're going to have my baby." And he locked the door. He came toward me with a really wicked grin on his face, and I suddenly felt scared. "There's no way you're Alex..."

      "Nope~" He said in a singsongy voice, and I realized I must have been dreaming. I did a Reality Check, and it turned out I was dreaming.

      I stared at whoever the guy was, and asked him, "are you The Face?"

      "That may have been me. But that's not my name." He'd sat down at the edge of the bed, no longer threatening. He was still grinning a bit maliciously, though. Maybe it was more mischievous.

      "Well what is your name?"

      "You can call me whatever you want."

      "I want to call you by your name."

      "Not this time~"

      I narrowed my eyes at him and suddenly remember the challenge of the month. I decided to try it, so I repeated, with the same singsongy intonation, "Not this time~"

      He just raised his eyebrow and stared at me, silently. I couldn't tell if he was confused or just blank. I waited so long for him to say something else that the dream destabilized and I woke up.

      Updated 06-22-2014 at 07:44 AM by 69491

      Tags: family, rape, the face
      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , memorable , task of the month
    12. April 23rd, 2014 AM - Circular Hotel School

      by , 04-23-2014 at 03:41 PM (Visions in the Dark)
      This dream was long and detailed but when I woke up it fragmented and I find it hard to describe some of the things I saw and experienced, even though I can still "see" it in my mind. There were two parts to this dream. (Possible Trigger Warning for some people near the end of these dreams.)

      First part:
      Hotel on top of the Mountain.
      A short, corpulant man with short dark hair, who looks like Danny DeVito (so I will call him Danny though he was unnamed in the dream) invites me to his room in a highly populated hotel on top of a steep mountain for sex. Though it is a large, lavish hotel, people live in the rooms like apartments rather then rent them. I agree but he then insist on taking me to a privacy room, called a Sky Room, so we can get it on in peace without people listening in. The rooms are very close together and very small, all with a light yellow colour scheme (walls, sheets, carpet, all light yellow coloured) and it's easy to hear your neighbours.

      From the outside the hotel looks like an ancient European castle of dark grey stone, but inside the layout is not square but cylindrical. In the center of the hotel is a large shaft called the "Elevator" which goes up to individual themed rooms for rent that exist high in the sky and supposedly offer the hotel residence some privacy for a few hours (hence why they are called "Sky Rooms"). To get to the hotel on top of the mountain, people must take a large ski lift (called the "tram" in the dream) from a valley far below. The journey is long and dangerous because sometimes the wind blows the tram right off the wires and people die plummeting hundreds of feet to the ground below. After learning about the dangers of the tram I understand why people decide to stay and live in the hotel rather than risk coming and going on the tram.

      Danny and I look around for one for rent but they are all occupied and the next one won't become free for two hours. I see a timer slowly counting down the time. The countdown time 1:31:00 sticks in my mind for some reason, after I see it on Danny's countdown clock. Danny and I sit in silence in his hotel room, occasionally smiling at each other, but our passion for sex quickly fading as the time slowly ticks away. I vaguely recall being in one of the Sky Rooms and hearing people in one below ours having sex and thinking "These are not as private as advertised." Despite remembering thinking that in the dream Danny and I never actually rented a Sky Room because none became free before we both lost interest in each other and went our separate ways.


      I woke up and laid awake for a few minutes, contemplating getting on DV to record this, but I was too tired and decided to go back to sleep. I am surprised I remembered as much of the first part upon awakening as I did, but maybe because the second part was similar in some ways.

      Second part:
      Space Military School
      The same circular hotel with the large elevator in the middle still exists, but now it is located in orbit around earth. The hotel rooms are now classrooms or training rooms and not living residences. Some students and faculty members do live there if they are rich and can afford to, but most of the students are poor and live down on the Earth, and have to use the Elevator everyday to get to class. The base of the Elevator is located in a thick, dark temperate forest and it's shaft reaches all the way into space.

      I am waiting for the Elevator car to arrive and I wander behind the shaft and see a two-storey log cabin with many windows. Through the windows I can see dozens and dozens of owls and they all seems to be flapping against the windows in an attempt to get out. The owls looks like snowy owls, but most are all different sizes and there are a few color variations other than white and brown. I notice one very small owl that is colored bright red with golden tips on it's wings and tail. I can't see anyone inside the building and I can't stay to help the owls as the elevator car arrives and I have to get on it or I will miss my class.

      The school is run with very strict rules and poor students are treated with less regard than wealthy ones. The Principle is a Commander from the Earth based Military and treats all students of all levels and background as soldiers in training. He dislikes being the school master and dreams of the glories of war. The Principle is a handsome man who shows interest in marrying me for some reason and one night he kidnaps me after class and takes me to his quarters. He leaves me in the care of three of his male subordinates with strict instructions that I am not to be harmed. I am imprisoned in a white room and not allowed to leave until I agree to marry the Principle. While I am locked in the room the Principle organizes the students and uses them as soldiers to attack facilities on the earth. The subordinates in charge of watching me hear about the attacks and get drunk to celebrate. The three of them become so inebriated they forget about the command that I am not to be harmed and I am viciously and repeatedly gang raped. When the Principle returns he is furious that I am bruised and bleeding and emotionally detached because of the rape and he violently kills the drunken guards one by one with his own hands. The dream ends with the Principle trying to comfort me but I just gaze out the window looking into space without responding to him.
    13. Hospitals, rapists, and memories

      by , 12-12-2013 at 05:30 AM
      BLACK: Regular
      BLUE: Dream
      RED: Notes
      PURPLE: Quote (specific words I remember clearly)
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      I'm not quite sure how this dream started or ended.
      Date: November 30th, 2013
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      I was in a hospital [ it looked like one I'd been in before ]. It was quiet, which made me feel very uncomfortable. It didn't seem right. A man [ He appeared to be in his early/mid 20's and had brown hair, young face, was tall, thin, and had dark eyes. He seemed very familiar ] grabbed my arm and pulled me away from where I was. He mentioned something to a woman by me [ I believe she was a nurse like figure, but I'm not sure ] about "finding all the pretty girls in the hospital and raping the f-ck out of them." [ I don't think he thought that I'd heard him. That, or he didn't care if I did or not. ] I began feeling incredibly nervous, but I hid it to the best of my ability. We passed my family [ always female members from my mother's side or my father. None of them ever noticed me, save my father. He glanced at me but said and did nothing ] two times. Some time along the way I mentioned something about "not wanting to be treated this way again." The man looked at me and we sat on some stairs [ the "nurse" woman stood off the the side. The stairs were hard stone ] and he asked me, "You've been raped before?" [ those words rang in my head over and over when I woke up ] I mentioned something about being a virgin but that I'd been sexually abused in the past [ this is true. I have been ]. He raised his eyebrow and almost seemed to feel sorry for me. I thought he'd let me go. Suddenly, he pulled me to my feel and literally dragged me to a room [ more details on the room below ] that looked like both a physical therapy facility and an x-ray/CT scan room. He had the nurse take me to a machine on the far right side of the room. I faced the closed end of it. The man said "We're making sure you won't get pregnant. STAND STILL!" I was shaking violently by this point. I was scared. He had the nurse woman spread my arms out and made me stand holding some bars on either side of me. After this, the man literally growled and tore me away from the machine. He took of my jacket [ it was red ] , leaving me in my tank top [ grey ], jeans, and socks. I noticed my dad outside the room and I told the nurse to shut the door. She did this. The man pushed me onto my back [ I landed on another machine that was on the floor. I hit my back on two bars ] and I crossed my legs over each other and put my arms over my chest. I started pleading with him. "Please, please don't!" I cried over and over [ I was literally crying ]. The man towered over me and he ripped his shirt off and started trying to take my clothes off. I kicked at him and screamed repeatedly. Eventually, I think, I got so afraid that I just woke up. The ending is blurry.
      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      NOTES:
      About the room-
      It was on the top floor in the west side of the building. The sun was setting outside the single window which had blinds over it. The room was cold. The colors were desaturated, but there was blue and white all around me -ironically my school colors-. There were various "machines" strewn about. The door that I saw my dad out of was on the right side of the room right next to the machine I stood by. The door was a flimsy plywood sliding door that had no lock. The only light in the room came from that one window. It was dark-ish

      Various notes-
      I remember that I didn't scream for my dad's help because I didn't want him to see me so vulnerable. I would rather be raped than have him see me like that.

      No one seemed to notice what the man was saying. The nurse never spoke or made any noise.

      The man was very familiar and was rough, then gentle, then rough.

      My dad looked through me when he gazed my way.

      All I could think about when I woke up was the mysterious man who'd made me do something sexual (no details because I don't want to say it) when I was 5 years old.

      Around the time I started to faze out from the dream, I remember that the man looked animalistic. He also started to "melt." His image literally just began to melt.

      I remember my dad (after the whole ordeal, probably) saying something like "Oh I never wanted this to happen again. It's like 10 years ago."



      __________________________________________________ ____________________________
      If you can offer any help here, I'd appreciate it. This dream hits home in too many ways. I've had more and more dreams like this one, lately, It's as though my subconscious is trying to make me see something.
    14. 12/08/13 Night Hero

      by , 12-09-2013 at 05:42 AM (New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight)
      12/08/13

      Night Hero
      I am walking home late at night. I am again completely non-lucid. My name is Rebecca. I am walking home from my job at a local diner. I am a waitress there. I really hate my job but I won't be able to get anything better until I finish school. I am in college studying Computer Science. I will soon be a Network Administrator. That will be much better. Right now I am tired and anxious to get home to bed. I had to work late because Gracie, the girl who was supposed to take over after my shift at the 24 hour diner, had been late. An hour late. So I am tired, I am pissed. Some people have no consideration for others.

      I am passing an alley that could easily serve as a shortcut to get home. It would cut a good 15 minutes off of my walk. But it is a dark and creepy alley... It looks like bad things could happen there. No... I'm just being paranoid. This is a nice neighborhood. Nothing happens here. I decide I'm sure I can take the shortcut just this once and be safe. I'm 27 years old... I can manage to get home on my own! After briefly considering, I go down the alley at a fast walk. If I hurry I can shave even more than 15 minutes off of my time.

      I am about halfway through the alley when I get the feeling I am being watched. I try to brush it off, I'm just being paranoid again. Still, I walk a bit faster. I am just passing an alley that branches off to the left when a dark figure emerges. A rather large and dirty man. He smells bad. He speaks as if he is talking to himself, he says, "Look what we have here!" I go to continue on my way. The man cuts me off and asks where I'm going, the fun has just started. I tell him I'm not interested. He moves faster than I thought he could and grabs my arm roughly. He pulls out a large knife and holds it at my neck. He pushes me down beside a dumpster and then the next thing I know he is on top of me. He is laughing and he smells horrible. He holds the knife at my neck again and says if I resist he'll kill me. He is holding both my wrists in one of his huge hands as he undoes his belt and zipper with the other. I fight to get free but he's too strong and he just laughs. I call for help, but there is no one to hear... no one to help me. I feel cold inside, I am about to get raped and there's nothing I can do about it. I scream and he tells me to shut up or he'll see how loud I can scream with a slit throat. He is ripping my shirt open and my skirt off...

      And then he is off me. Someone has grabbed him and pulled him right off me. He curses loudly and grabs his knife as he is grabbed. He turns around and stabs the person that grabbed him. NO! This is worse than getting raped! Someone came to help me and now he might get killed for it! I try to scramble to my feet to do anything I can to keep my rescuer from being killed but I slip and fall back on my butt. My attacker is stabbing my rescuer over and over and over again, cursing loudly. "What the FUCK?! Why aren't you DYING?!" Then I realize my attacker is actually being held almost a foot off of the ground by the man who came to help me. He is stabbing violently and desperately but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. Then something skewers the man. Three razor sharp claws cut through my attacker like paper. The man's cursing changes to pained gurgles. The claws cut the man practically in two. Strange tendrils come from the other man and surround my attacker, ripping into him and literally EATING him until there's nothing left. The would-be rapist lets out some gargled screams as he is being eaten and then goes silent.

      There is now just one figure standing over me. And he is not human. He is mostly human in appearance, but both of his hands are taloned claws that are still dripping with my attacker's blood. I realize who it is. I have seen news reports about this, warnings to stay away at all costs. The only sightings of this... man, if he can be called a man, was on the opposite side of New York, but here he is. I find I am looking at Alex Mercer himself, he just killed my would-be rapist, and I am next. I scramble backward, away from him, though I'm sure there is no way I can escape. His claws transform back into hands and he takes a step towards me. I am desperate to escape, I am wishing I could fit under the dumpster... but of course that's impossible. He stops and glares down at me. He looks pissed off. Great... I just met the infamous Alex Mercer and he's in a bad mood. He calls me pathetic and then turns and walks away down the alley my attacker had emerged from.

      I stare after Alex, at first I am just shocked that he is leaving me alive. He didn't lay a hand... or claw... on me. That doesn't fit what I've heard at all. The news reports, the warnings, all of them describing Alex Mercer as a psychopathic madman who would happily rip apart and consume anyone he comes across... This doesn't fit at all. Then I start feeling bad. Maybe the news reports and warnings aren't true. And if they aren't, that means Alex just showed up in the nick of time and saved me from being raped and possibly murdered, and I respond like he's some kind of monster. No... I won't let that stand. It's just not right. I get up, pulling my skirt back up quickly. I call after Alex, calling his name. I see him in the alley, silhouetted against the distant street lights. He doesn't respond. I feel the need to not let this go that way. I chase after Alex. As I approach him from behind he suddenly turns, probably because he hears me approaching. As he turns he forms his claws again as if he is expecting an attack. I'm almost to him, and he has his claws spread wide away from his body, so I keep going and put my arms around him, hugging him, thanking him, trying to make up for my strange behavior earlier with a show of gratitude now.

      At first it seems Alex doesn't know how to respond. Then finally I feel his arms close around me, and it is his hands rather than his claws that I feel on my back. He finally asks if I am ok, am I hurt? I tell him I'm fine, thanks to him. He lets go of me and pushes me away a couple feet. He asks what happened to me being scared of him? He adds sarcastically that I'd better run away quick before the monster kills me. He still looks annoyed. I put my arms around him again and say I'm not worried about any monster. "You killed the monster back there. He won't hurt anyone ever again." I look into Alex's blue eyes. I am overcome with the thought, "Wow... He's hot! None of those news reports said he kills rapists, saves foolish young women, and he is sooooo hot!" I tell him I want to thank him properly... then I kiss him. He doesn't really respond. Ok, now I just feel awkward.

      I want to disappear into a wall or the ground again, but for a totally different reason now. Of course I would be rescued by a hot guy and then make a fool of myself in multiple ways. I take a couple steps away from Alex, calling myself stupid under my breath. I stammer that I'm sorry and turn to run back down the alley. This crazy night can't end soon enough for my liking. As I am running away a strange tendril wraps around me just under my arms like a harness. It lifts me off my feet and pulls me back to Alex. My first thought is, "Oh, shit... I pissed him off!" But I know immediately when I look at him that he is not angry. He is smiling pleasantly. Maybe even amused by my awkwardness.

      Alex carefully sets me down in front of him. He says there's nothing I have to be sorry for. And then he kisses me. We kiss for a bit and then separate. After a brief silence Alex says he'll walk me home, make sure nothing else happens to me. I am perfectly happy to have Alex walk me the rest of the way home.

      We talk on the way home. It turns out that since the viral outbreak was stopped Alex had been using his abilities to help those in danger. But it seemed whenever he helped someone they always acted like I had initially, like he was some kind of monster. I tell him that's because of the news reports, which I am now seeing are full of lies. He says they're no doubt sponsored by Blackwatch. They haven't given up their obsession to track him down and kill him. But without the virus spreading they have lost their excuse to maintain a military presence in the city. They must be using civilians to try to track him. Making sure they would report him and not even consider trying to talk to him and hear his side of what's happened and is still happening.

      We reach my house. I am again embarrassed that am living at home with my mother at my age. But I have an agreement with my mother that I can stay there rent free as long as I am attending classes and keeping my grades up. My job at the diner is enough for other expenses. My mother meets me at the door and is shocked by my appearance. I realize I'd forgotten that my shirt was torn in the attack. She asks what happened to me. Am I ok? She looks suspiciously at Alex and asks who he is. I don't want to tell her I almost got raped, she worries enough about me walking home at night. I tell her I'm fine. I just had a little accident on the way home. Alex here stopped to see that I was ok and walked me home. My mother looks at Alex for a bit and I worry that she'll recognize him as Alex Mercer. I silently curse at myself for calling him Alex instead of making a name up. She just thanks him for seeing me safely home. Alex asks me if I work tomorrow. I say yes. He says if I don't mind, maybe he'll see me later. He smiles and walks away. My mother says he seems nice... I am tired, so I excuse myself to go to bed. I undress and lie down, surprisingly falling asleep almost right away. I wake in my own bed.
    15. Oh goody, another unpleasant one.

      by , 08-02-2013 at 05:48 AM
      I...don't feel like proofreading this.

      My house is more like a dorm than a duplex, the hall is wider and has more doors, but all the colors are the same. I wander into our room and think it still feels more like his than ours. I can hear my boyfriend talking from the kitchen, he is telling someone that he is going out to pick up food for a party. In our room there is a stranger in the bed with a blonde woman. They aren't really wearing anything. He has coerced her into playing a sex game. I find myself sitting on the bed, strangely intent on their actions.
      "What is the point of this game again?" The woman asks.
      "Jesus! The point is to see how long I can kiss you without vomiting. You're disgusting. When was the last time you showered?" He's being a huge jackass but she doesn't leave.
      He coerces me into 'playing', and eventually I say that I'll only have sex with him if he calls my boyfriend in to help. Some more strangers come into the room, the same ilk as the man in the bed. At least they're wearing clothes. They decide that since I'm not playing his game, I can play theirs. It's called 'See how long you can stay conscious while we beat you'. What, doesn't that sound like fun to you?
      I struggle as they pull my legs out straight and begin to strike me. I'm surprised by how much it hurts. The stranger decides he's going to have sex with me whether I want it or not, says that's what I get for being a tease.
      Thankfully I fall unconscious.
      I 'wake' with the sensation of arms wrapping around me. It is so realistic that I cry out and try to struggle away.
      "Hey, are you alright? It's just me." It is just my boyfriend. I relax and lay next to him for a while. Eventually we get out of bed. I want to tell him what I've done before the stranger does it. What will I say? I was curious and it turned out badly? For a minute I thought I wanted to sleep with someone else? Before I can figure it out, he leaves.

      Something else happens. I can't remember, but I'm coming back into the dorm/duplex and I am suddenly lucid. As always, I'm amazed by the clarity, how real it feels. I round a corner and find myself in the hall outside our room. Ours is the only one standing open, I go inside but my boyfriend isn't there.
      At first I intend to find him, but when I get back into the hallway I start to mentally call for Liam. At the end of the hall is a wide wooden gate that is about my height and 10' wide. I immediately notice that there isn't a handle but I'm curious. The force of my curiosity creates a gap between the corner of the door and the wall. I hook my fingers into it and pull until it creaks open. On the other side is a collapsed tunnel. I hear a distant rumbling and dirt showers down from above. Of course, I think cynically, the one way I want to go is blocked off. It doesn't occur to me that I can clear the way. Instead I close the door and as I'm turning away notice a faded white dumpster filled with sapphire blue dirt. I'm having trouble with my eyes. The right one keeps dragging and skipping images. I think that maybe if I keep it closed I won't wake up, so I gently close my right eye with my finger and cover it with my hand. It seems to work.
      "What are you doing, silly? You aren't using your eyes." And once I realize that, I have no further trouble seeing.

      There's a breezeway and another sharp corner where there's a bathroom. I hear one of the managers from work talking about me, saying that I was such a whore for sleeping with a stranger, in my boyfriend's bed, while my boyfriend was in the other room. It makes me ridiculously angry, I see them leave out the side door and take the front door which leads out onto a bright pink pathway made of metal grates, that runs parallel to the path below. I suddenly have a bat in my hand. I run, savoring the feeling of the wind on my face and how the metal vibrates under my feet with each running step I take. I run lightly, easily, cutting off the three people below and jumping down in their way.
      I land on one person, smack the second with the bat, and when the manager has the audacity to be amused, I throw the bat at his face.
      There. Problem solved.
      Then I realize the person I landed on is my friend Laura and I have hurt her. Still, she is glad to see me. I pick her up to carry her home, but her body is stretchy like...rubber or taffy. Or maybe a length of fabric. And for some reason there's a cat sitting on her chest. I struggle to pry it off of her and then cast it away so I can lift her more easily.


      Um, something about a funeral? I was being disrespectful by riding a bicycle around while a man tried to talk to everyone who had gathered to honor the dead. When he mentions that food will be brought out, and that the caterers are fantastic, two people come outside with the food...carrying a vat of pork in a container shaped like a pig, that's suspended between two poles and is dripping grease everywhere. It smells delicious.
      Tags: bat, liam, rape
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