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Last night was weird. Went to bed early and stop using my lap two hours before. Had three dreams, all in different time sections. But it seems that all three were about traveling. After waking up I recall two of them, but then I forgot. I was completely blind, the more I try to recall them I couldn't. Then I put my mind on getting ready for work and just like that I remembered the two dreams.... plus another one I had but didn't remember when i recall the first time.

as with most of my lucid dreams i just realized i was dreaming with no reality checks whatsoever

in the dream i couldn't open my eyes because if i did the dream went blurry and i would go into sleep paralysis and i would change positions and be back in my bed, so i kept my eyes closed (i could still see) and went outside where there was patches of snow on the ground. after looking outside i went back in my house and was jumping around my living room trying to fly to convince my DC family i was dreaming but at the same time they was trying to convince me i wasn't, then i remembered how can i see if my eyes are closed which convinced them. i then remembered some tasks i was reading about
1. look in a mirror (unfortunately not this months)
2. ride a sea turtle (i think it was one of the tasks of the year)
so i chose to look in the mirror and seen that i had no eyes and looked different ( i had short hair and no facial hair whereas in real life i have long hair and stubble) so i opened my eyes and eyes grew on my face in the mirror and then my face started morphing. i then remembered sivasons advice of looking at my hand (to help dream vividness and control?) as i was looking at my hand and the details kept on becoming clearer and then blurry and then they morphed into the surface texture of a golf ball.
i then asked my subconscious to show my something brilliant and i woke up.

It's been a while since I last had this familiar dream. Not the exact same one but it felt like the memories were coming back to me. I'm standing under a structure in front of an abandoned city. It was also raining. There was no one in sight. The last time I was here I was on a mission to kill a few people silently around the city. The city looked very beautiful. It sort of looks like Rome or France. I had no goal in this dream, I only walked around to see what would happen.

I felt an unusual feeling when I stared at one of the buildings in front of me. I started to think about someone. I started thinking about Quynh. I pictured her in the same clothes she wore when I first met her in the waking world;green sweater, blue pants, and white shoes. I always picture her in the same clothes. I never once tried to summon the "new" her in my current dreams, I just can't. She was so beautiful before. Having the same feelings I had about her in this dream, they made me happy.

I can't help to think that this place also reminds me of my sister's room. The last time I saw Quynh in my sister's room was when she was there alone and I walked in there to develop a special relationship with her.

That wasn't the whole dream. I still remember the moment when I tried to summon her. I was at my parents' home. I was standing in the kitchen at night with no one in there at the time. One of the small lights on the kitchen counter was on. I don't remember being lucid but whenever I try to summon Quynh, I always try to make sure it's the real one.

I tried summoning her by yelling out her name. She appeared after I yelled two more times. It didn't work. Instead of Quynh I got this smaller kid who looked a lot like my niece. I was disappointed and I wasn't sure how I was ever going to make it work. So, I done another technique. I grabbed on to her shoulders and asked, "Why aren't you Quynh?", "Why don't you look the same?!" Not the exact same words but I still remember asking something like them.

It didn't work. I tried a few times and knew it wasn't going to work. This is all I could remember.

I don't remember much but I'll try my best at trying to explain what I saw in little bits. Okay first, I was in a house somewhere in a land far away. The place looked so familiar and just felt so familiar. I'm inside a house that really had no rooms, only a hallway and ever time I dream of this same place, I wouldn't remember if there were people or not. It was sort of like just thoughts that I was picturing. I'm not sure how to explain it. Anyways, Sometime when I was inside this narrow hallway, I was crying again over Quynh. I was in deep pain. I cried so much for her that I didn't know what I was going to do to continue living without her. It was like my pain doubled from waking life. But I while I was crying, I thought about the pain I have to endure to finally get her out of my life. I thought about just forgetting everything about her, then I won't be so sad anymore. I suppose this made me feel better upon awakening because I wasn't dealing with as much mental pain than the dream. I was also thinking of the group therapy session I had the previous day when we talked about this. I also remember being in the kitchen with my mom while she was serving me some drinks. I still felt a little bad about not being able to see Quynh again but I told my mother I would eventually forget about her.

This morning I awoke still not remembering anything. Last night I was not as focused and had dramatically less effort was given. I felt the night before I was too focused and too excited I was not able to sleep. I was not surprised when I did not remember anything. This morning however. I haven't really fallen to sleep at any reasonable hours. After smoking marijuana several times a day this may also affect my ability to remember my dreams. We will find out. Also I plan on not sleeping until after my class tomorrow morning (14 May 2012). Also I have been taking vyvanse.

Notes:

-An alarm or sudden wakening may help to remember dreams.

-Television on have any affect on dreams? (haven't left on yet)

-Maybe fall asleep at a normal time. (have been around 4-6AM)

-Nap may increase chances of lucidity.

-Wake up early, after an hour go back to sleep.

-Start writing in dream journal right after awakening.

All I remember is finding myself at that point where a dream is fading and, even though you know you're about to wake up, you can't stay in the dream. I stayed in this state for several seconds and figured I would try a DEILD. When I woke up I layed completely still, and imagined a simple dream enviornment. After what felt like 30min I figured it wasn't going to work and just got up. The clock said 10:01, and just to be sure I turned away and looked back at it. Still 10:01. It makes sense that the DEILD didn't work, I had already gotten 10 hours of sleep so I likely wouldn't fall asleep very easily



There was one other dream that I knew I had, but I can't remember it right now. For some reason I didn't write any of these down right away Will edit if it comes to me.

This dream started out in the halls of the high school I graduated from. I was in my current body, not my high school body, so I was a lot more in shape and confident than I was back then. I was just dawdling about in the hall when a girl caught my eye. She was actually an inch or so taller than me, which is usually a turn off for me. She had a fit body, blue eyes, and short champagne blonde hair just above the shoulders. Usually I'm not attracted to the short, super light blonde hair either, but the way she was wearing it made it very appealing to me.

I went up to her and started walking/talking with her down the hall. Her name was Eileen, a name I've barely ever heard in my life, but a pretty name none the less. We decided we should go drive around and hang out, and I was ballsy enough to put my arm around her as we exited the school.

It was evening and we drove around for a while, talking. It's crazy how in depth dream characters can be and how much you can learn about them. She was a midwestern girl, same age as me, and had moved out here with her parents. She loved rock/alternative rock/folk/indie and was into climbing/hiking/skiing; all the same outdoor activities I was into. She was super nice and very down to earth.

This is the cool part. We somehow made it into a house and she said something to the effect of "You haven't forgotten those promises you made to me, have you?" "Of course not," I said, "I have them all right here so I don't forget." I pulled out my phone (the same one I have in real life) and went to my notes. There was a page titled 'Promises Made to Eileen' with a short list jotted down below. I was confused on how the list got there, as I thought I was meeting this dream character for the first time.

I then realized that this was not my first time meeting Eileen! I had a revelation that I had met her in a previous dream that I had now forgotten. She smiled at me, extremely happy in my remembrance of meeting her before. We shared a great kiss, said our goodbyes and then I woke up.

This is one of the first times I've remembered a reoccurring character in a dream, and I must say I am very pleased with her. Now if only I could meet the real life version...

The other night I had a dream about this guy who I believed to be the love of my life (sounds cheesy, I know). I can't remember much of it because I have a terrible memory. About half way through my shift at work I started crying because I started remembering my dream and quickly realised he wasn't real; I'd never find him again.. It was a sad day.

Anyhow, there were three parts of the dream I remember:
1 - He was sitting amongst a group of people in one of those fold up chairs that you would take to the beach or something. He had blondy/brown shaggy hair and although I can't remember his face, boy was he amazing. I remember us just looking at each other and giving small smiles. His brother was in a chair too; he had short black spiky hair. I'm so frustrated I can't remember more..

2 - The second bit I remember is me and my mum sitting in chairs across from him and his brother over a glass table outside. It reminded my of the one at my dads, but it wasn't. We were talking about the gig I'm going to today actually, but in the dream it was coming up. My mum asked if they were playing at the gig and they said they weren't, they were just coming to see. This made sense to me because it's near where we live and heaps of people are coming to it cause it's a really good local line-up. Anyhow, he and his brother were in a band though. It wasn't focused on what type of music or anything, it was just a fact as if it was something I knew for a while.

3 - The last scene I remember, although I know a lot more happened within the dream, was me standing near a bus stop or the side of the road for some unknown reason. It was bright and green and just beautiful. The place reminded me of those American movies in the suburbs where huge green trees line the streets. I can't remember too much of this part cause I'm getting it confused with another. He was there with me and he kissed me. And it was the most amazing first kiss in the world, and just felt natural and not dramatic and stuff.. It was perfect

So, for those of you who care to know, this is why I'm on this site. I want to learn to LD so that I might be able to see him again.. I want to remember what his face looks like, I want that place with him to be an escape.
Call me crazy.

This dream happened years ago. And when I say that I mean YEARS. I was probably 8-9 years old. All I know is that it is probably the most memorable, and vivid, dream I have ever had. An interesting thing about this dream was that this was before I knew what lucid dreaming was. You will understand why that is important later...
This dream probably spanned over the course of six months, but it skipped forward quite a bit. Just... you'll find out.


Just A Normal Day...
I awake in my bed with usual ease and quickly venture down the stairs. Nothing seems wrong, and why should it? I get myself some breakfast and get ready for school when my sister comes down and asks what I'm doing here. Of course, I question this as my father comes in and looks at me in sudden shock. It doesn't take long before he explains to me that I died in a car accident about 5 years ago with my mother. What? My mom isn't dead. I saw her last night before I went to bed.
I begin to explain this to them as they sit there and contemplate what is happening. They ask me how I got here. I explain to them I went to bed last night and now I'm here. Simple as that. My father figures it out. I am dreaming. I am dreaming in "their world". I really don't want to be here though. I want to be home with my real family, and to live my life normally. My father sends my sister off to school and tries to figure out how to wake me up.

The Solution... Sorta
After a few hours my dad finally thinks of something. I will live in this life for the time being while he works out a way to wake me up. This isn't the solution I was hoping for but I realized I could easily come to live in this world.
Here is the thing. This is the world I have always wanted. This is my version of a utopia where nothing is wrong. In this world my house was exactly the same (back when I was 8-9), but it was placed in a neighborhood instead of the country. I hate the country. Not that I despise it, but I don't want to live in it.
Can't say my idea on the country has changed since then...
I think a month or two skipped. I was still living in this world and I had grown to love it. I still wanted to return home though. This dream may seem boring to you but it was the life I have always wanted. I almost feel sadness thinking about returning though. I would return to this dream any day though, and I plan on returning to it once I get more control of my lucid abilities.
Well, anyway, there was this insane storm. It was crazy and the lights were flickering on and off, and I can tell you I was pretty terrified of it. My dad suddenly realized out computer wasn't turned off and if we kept it on then if the power went off it could kill it. We all run upstairs and shut it off as the power goes out. We made it just in time. Time then skips another month.

The First Attempt
There was one really strange thing about this dream. It was logical (for the most part). Nothing seemed off about it. Time was always how it should have been, and everything in my house was the exact same way in my real house.
I awoke at about 11 at night for some reason and was so excited because I thought I was finally awake. I also had a sudden wave of sadness as I walked down the stairs. I never even got to say goodbye. Things changed as I entered the kitchen. Our living room connects to the kitchen and I saw my dad watching TV in it. I looked into my kitchen and noticed that one of our tables was replaced with some strange blue laser machine. I asked my dad what it was and he told me it should shock me awake. I was pretty happy. And I also wasn't. I said my goodbye to him and told him to tell my sister goodbye as I walked into the laser.
Nothing.
I was still here and nothing had changed. He had a disappointed look because his contraption didn't work, but I knew he was happy I was still there. I could just feel it. I went on up to bed again and slept.

The Pickle Salesmen
My sister arrived home from school and told me that her class was selling pickles to win a trip of your choice. I thought going around the neighborhood would be a great idea, and she had no trouble agreeing. We set off from the house and sold those pickles like wildfire. That sounds... really, really weird.
We sold enough to win her the trip and we returned home. My dad then told me he might have a way to finally send me home. He was keeping it a surprise until the next day though. For some reason I was wishing that day would never come. This was my home now. I almost wanted it to be...

The Final Goodbye
I awoke, still in the dream, and did some normal things. It was around noon when I went outside and started to hang with some of my friends that I had made during my time in this dream. My father came up carrying a skateboard and told me that I could go home now. He put the skateboard down and told me to lie on my back on it, and then push. It would wake me up.
I knew this was the end. I was leaving for good. This was probably the most emotional goodbye that I have ever had to make in a dream. I hugged everyone around my block and got on the skateboard. Everyone was smiling. I really remember that. They were so happy for me. I just laid there while they waited for me to finally return from where I came.
I let out that final goodbye and pushed. I flew backwards. The skateboard went faster and faster, but I still saw their waves of goodbye in the midst of the blur. The neighborhood slowly turned into a speck as I flew further and further back into blackness. I suddenly awoke in my bed the next morning.
I was home...

I am going back. Nothing will stop me from returning there. I don't care if that was just a memory in my head being morphed into something bigger than it needed to be, but I will never forget this dream. I think about it all the time, and this proves there is nothing but joy in a dream if you really believe in it. I may have been lucid, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be there. If I had known what lucid dreaming was during that time I bet you I would have skipped this entire adventure by. In the midst of my mind there is one thing that will always stand out forever, and ever.
This one, single, dream.

September 23, 2011

My recall isn't that great right now so obviously my awareness isn't either. I somewhat remember being in my room with a couple of my friends and they were all telling me I was dreaming. I remember being very confused and so I did a reality check. The reality check worked and showed I was dreaming. For some reason I didn't believe it and didn't want to get out of bed until I knew I was dreaming so I did another reality check and it failed. The rest is lost and I can't remember any of it.