Recent DJ Posts

This is the DJ entry I’ve been wanting to make for a while. Though I forgot to mention it in xcv I did try to incubate the dream about my clouds painting last night too.

Lately I feel that I’ve made some progress in regards to dreaming overall but at the moment my biggest impediment feels wholly out of my control, and that’s the issue I have of taking between 60 to 90 minutes to fall asleep, regardless of the time of day/night.

Falling asleep does feel easier when H is in bed at the same time but likewise I seem to lose focus of any thoughts about dream techniques much more easily. Even so, trying to incubate this dream about my painting has been helpful in that regard too since it’s helping me practice to stay in that focus even when H is in bed too.

The dream incubation visualisations aren’t particularly imaginative but do go into all the minimum details I think I’d need to have in the dream anyway. I also try to insert personal dream signs into the visualisations.

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About a week ago, I tried that thing of half-dreaming while listening to a full soundtrack again; and what I’ve noticed combined with my previous attempt is that generally it takes half an hour to start getting into that state (half the soundtrack roughly). This last attempt’s first half was preoccupied with those self doubting trivial thoughts that show up sometimes, but eventually I got over it.

Though the half-dream state didn’t go as far as last time (poorer visuals and weaker sensations this time), it did work. Unfortunately, because of how it was a weaker immersion, it did take more conscious effort to stay focused on the sensations and so it felt a bit forced.

The loudness or intensity of the music paired with the isolating nature of this particular set of headphones feels extremely important for achieving this, since it forces whole-body sensation while “disconnecting”, in a sense, from external input. My view on this is that the disconnect facilitates the half-dream state because it’s more like being asleep already even while still awake and semi-focused.

The other factor of note was that this time I was more preoccupied about the outside world too; since I was home alone this time I ended up feeling very vulnerable while doing this (in a tense way). As well as that, the previous time I also did this when I was already starting to get sleepy at night time, but this time it was done during the afternoon. Overall I attribute the smaller success to these various factors and the fact that I was simply more distracted from what I was trying to do anyway.

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The last note I think I’ll make is that my pain and tiredness have been bad for months, even on waking up, so a lot of times when I want to make note of dreams I really do feel incapable of it because of how tiring it feels. Still, this is all the more reason that I feel I’ve been fairly diligent and like I’m making progress about dreaming since I started being more active about the DJ again.

Morning of April 24, 2015. Friday.



In a less physically defined state, I am “remembering” my completion of the most recent education progress report. Everything seems as is in reality except that I am aware I have added an mp3 file on the companion CD. It is the recording of Roger Miller’s “Walking in the Sunshine” which I heard very often in my childhood. I pause and think on this for awhile. The CD is already made (false memory) so I cannot remove it if I need to, because it begins to dawn on me that I should not have this recording in the report since I had not written and recorded it (typical goofy in-dream “logic”). Over time, I mentally “fix” this and the CD is as it should be.

Had a long non-ld moment where I put together something like a form/report. Making a note of this because at the time of wake I could remember most of it. It was like 1.5 pages long, a coherent text that my dreaming self spent carefully writing down with a pen word by word and not a single thing was illegible or illogical.

A School Adventure

I was in a study hall I think. It wasn't exactly a class in any case. An authority figure, a woman, showed me and someone else a picture of space. It showed Earth and several other planets very close to each other. Each planet was inside of a bubble that depicted a danger zone for each planet.

Some planets were in large bubbles. This meant more danger. These planets were bunched up. These large bubbles intersected the other planets bubbles; furthermore, they indicated that they were in danger of meteors hitting them.

At this point, the person I was curled up in a spherical gel bed. He went on saying how he wasn't going to sit there and just let something bad happen. I thought his bed was a pretty good idea. It could prevent small meteorites from hitting you and killing you. I thought I might lie next to the bed for cover from one side, though I realized I could still be hit from another side.

Dream Skip

I then had an assignment from a teacher. It was to read a book and do a report on the main character--a historical figure.

I took the book and was about to study, but I asked a girl I was with to suck me for just one second. She did and I liked it. Sure, it was a stupid short blow, but IWL I subscribe to the theory that it's better to enjoy the shortest time than to not have any time at all.

I then started trying to do my report. I had a false memory that I had read the book before, but didn't remember any of it. I tried to begin reading and picking out important facts, but because I was actually dreaming, I had trouble being productive.

The End

Monkey Man

There was a man up on a house roof. He had a baseball. He didn't speak. He was like a monkey or something, though not as agile.

I asked him if I could have the ball. I thought he might get scared, but he didn't. He gave me the ball. I was so grateful that I went to find something he might like. I found a blue ball. It was like a racket-ball ball but it had parts cut out of it so you could stick your fingers through the ball.

I said, "Here, take this" or something, and threw it up to him. I didn't want to throw it at him, so I threw it to his side. He took a step or two and got it. I was happy he got it.

(This dream was interesting...)
(For some reason I remember there being a random sandwich on the floor somewhere in the dream, I just can't remember where)

I don't remember how it started, but I was in an alley with my dad and my friend Brett. We were looking for a store, but we were lost. I started to run ahead and I came to an intersecting alleyway. I took a right, another intersection. This went on for a while and I gradualy got closer, I could feel it. (Also, when you turn around, the way back changes) Brett caught up, my dad didn't. I kept going with Brett behind me, I eventually found the store. I walked in with Brett. The walls went up a good twenty feet or so and everything was made of light, polished wood. We kept going around, the whole place was a giant hallway with intersections all over. (the place reminded me of Home Depot but it looked nothing like it) I went ahead of Brett, he kept behind. I took multiple turns, ending up in identical spots. I had a hunch, but I wasn't sure about it. I kept going, testing my theory, I was sure I was right when Brett walked through a wall. Everything was an illusion. I kept on, trying to find the exit, I figured that since I was on to it that I'd be able to tell which way to go. I ended up in a room where long, wooden rods were stored, verticly up to the ceiling.

"Brett," I yelled, "Get over here!"

He came over, walking around invisible walls (We each saw it differently). I looked over to a wall and concentrated, I had some control. I saw the exit on the wall infront of me. I grabbed Brett's arm and ran at the exit.

"Why are we running at a wall?" he screamed as we flew at it.

I went completely through the wall, but Brett was stuck (I figured that we felt what we saw, so he actually ran into a wall...). I was in a Wall Mart and my dad was beside me.

"Oh, there you are!" he exclaimed, "Which socks are better?"

He heald up two pairs of socks, blue and black. I pointed at the blue one, "Looks like it would make a good hand puppet!" I said, holding my hand up as if I had a sock on my hand. I began to mimic a sining puppet and a ginger girl looked at me from across the shelf like I was insane. I looked at my hand and saw a blue spot on it. I realized I was dreaming (I write "dream" on my hand everyday). I wasn't in the mood for an epic battle or anything so I just waved my hand and an opening appeared in mid-air, leading to the room where Brett was stuck. I let him out and closed the opening, somehow loosing lucidity (is that the right word?). We walked around and found a spot that reminded me of the spot with necklaces and stuff (a red rug and glass cases). People were sitting in rows of chairs. We walked over some chairs up to the front desk/glass case. There was a fat man in a brown suit sitting at the chair. He handed me a paper and told me to sit. The three of us sat in the fifth row (I was suddenly reminded of some honor ceremony for the SATs I went to. I looked at the paper and there was a large chunk cut out of it at the top:

"A planet of [.....] Really.....(more words)"

"Oh my god, Brett, look at this!" I said.

He looked over, "Is that?"

"Yeah, my extra-credit report for science in severnth grade!" I exclaimed, "Why'd they cut out part?"

I looked at it again, the hole was smaller and lower on the paper, The missing chunk appeared reading "YouTube," then dissapeared.

"Why'd they take out where it said youtube?" I said aloud, "Wait, it never said 'youtube'!"

I immediately became lucid again, then was woken up to: "WAKE UP! You've got school!" (not a false awakening...)

Good morning, everybody. The first two dreams had a kind of half-dream feel to them. I don't think I was all the way asleep.

Dream #1

I was in bed, lying on my stomach. I saw my phone, even though I may not have held it in my hands. I continued reading the book I had gone to bed reading, Psi Spies, by Jim Marrs. The section of the book was about Ingo Swann. A lot of the stuff sounded familiar, like stuff I'd previously read about Swann. But the language was really weird at points, almost absurd.

Dream #2

I was reading from my phone again. I was somewhat aware of the dream-like quality of my experience. I kind of found it funny that I was reading a book that was less than a foot away from my head by whatever kind of complicated psychic means I was using. I thought I my check the text I was reading now against the text of the book when I "woke up," although I knew it probably wouldn't match. Some of the language was just too absurd.

Dream #3

Possibly a black and white film view from a train window of a landscape and some kind of factory building. A narrator spoke about how Frederick Wiseman was the predecessor of A.A. Milne. The narrator said that even though Wiseman was a pioneer, he still didn't have the courage to say everything he wanted to say. A.A. Milne took Wiseman's statements and carried them forward with their full meaning.

I may have caught the absurdity of this in my dream. Milne wrote his children's books a while before Wiseman started making his controversial documentaries. Nevertheless, I was kind of sad to hear the narrator's words, as if they were true after all, and I had missed the basic fact.

Dream #4

I "came into work" (I may only have had a vision of doing so). My computer screen was on, and open to a database that holds our reports. The screen was open to a report I had written yesterday.

Somehow I came to understand that my boss had -- again! -- completely ignored the report I'd written and made a completely different report all his own.

Dream #5

I was in a grocery store, before something like the conveyor belt checkout stand. But this checkout stand was all the way in a back corner of the store, like in the packaged beef and lunchmeat area.

I was with my mom, one or two young, black men, and a young, black woman. The cashier was an old lady. The cashier kept pulling stuff out from her side of the checkout stand and throwing it onto the conveyor belt. All of us then had to bag it up.

At some point the woman was throwing unpackaged diapers onto the conveyor belt. I had a huge, opened, empty diaper package. I sat on the ground with the bag between my legs and loaded all the diapers into the bag. The filled bag may have come up to about mid-thigh on me.

At another point the old lady herself had filled a paper bag so full with canned goods that it fell over and spilled all over the conveyor belt. The woman looked terribly annoyed. I felt ashamed. Had we really bought all this stuff? Wasn't it too much?

The old lady said, "Look, I don't have any more paper bags. We can only do plastic now." I understood this to mean that the old lady was finally getting tired of dealing with all the food we had apparently bought.

I thought we should all make things as easy on her as possible by packing everything up as quickly as possible. The two black men seemed a little reluctant to speed up, possibly because they didn't believe they could really put all the food away -- as if there weren't enough bags, or as if all the bags would break.

I told the young men, as if this would solve all their problems, "Look, it's easy. When you get diapers, put them into one of these big diaper bags. Open in all the way up, and it'll hold a lot. Trust me: I just did it."

The young men acted like that made sense. The young woman looked at me with pity, as if she knew that the young men thought I was kind of crazy.

Good morning, everybody. My sensation of the first dream wasn't quite like any other dream sensation I've had, although the dream itself seems kind of usual.

I had the dream in something close to a waking state. Upon "coming to" and realizing the dreamlike quality of the perception, I could feel the "dream," as if it were sticking to the back of my head.

I took NyQuil last night, as I've had the flu. I think I've had a similar "back of the head" sensation after taking NyQuil in the past. But not the weird "awake dreaming" sensation.

This may partly be because of the book I'm reading, The Measure of Madness, which includes stories of people who committed crimes due to hallucinations or delusions.

I've wondered how a delusion or hallucination would feel different from a dream. I think my brain was trying to accommodate me to some degree by showing me an "awake dream."

Dream #1

I was in some kind of restaurant that looked like it was part of Lever House. There were glass walls on my left side, showing mild daylight. The floors were stoner or concrete. Something about it now feels to me like the lobby of the UN as well.

I sat at a table with someone like my boss. I was told that the reports I had put together provided weird instructions. The result was that people ended up making a weird structure. The structure was now behind me.

I now stood at the back end of the structure, looking along it. It was a weird sculpture made of black iron or some kind of black-painted metal. The metal was made to have the rounded shapes of things like cartoon trees and shrubs. But it was all featureless and black, and it was all tilted 45 degrees on its side. There was also some kind of garbage all over the place, like white packing-styrofome sheets.

Dream #2

I was out in the city very late at night with a group of rich people. The people were all a little bit older than I. There was one pretty girl. The people all felt a lot classier than I.

We were walking near my office. We might all actually have been heading to my office. At least I was. It was like I had to go to work.

As we walked down a side street, some apparently random guy got in my way. He was tall, pale, and white, with a short, red beard. He was slightly overweight. He wore dark jeans, a long-sleeved, striped t-shirt, and a baseball cap. The shirt and cap were some kind of dull green-brown.

The man would walk really close in front of me, slowing me down. I would try to get out of his way, but he would move back into my way. I would try to slow down, hoping he'd just forget about me. But he would walk a certain distance ahead, then constantly look back at me over his shoulder.

The group of people were about 10 meters behind me. They were talking and laughing. I realized they knew this guy, and that they found the game he was playing on me kind of amusing.

I knew the guy was "reverse following" me. I didn't want him to know where my office was. I arrived on the corner with my office. I needed to turn left to get there. The man had already turned left. So I turned right and walked a ways. Then I turned back around and headed to my office. But when I got to my office, I saw the man standing right in the revolving door, waiting for me, staring at me.

Another dream about school and projects in it.

The only thing I remember is that I played some game while at the same time doing some report on the project that we were supposed to start soon. I completed the game and a teacher came and fetched us. As we followed him he complained that no one had made their reports except me.

Don't remember anything else clear enough. :/