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I've been having a somewhat better dream recall average than I normally would, but haven't been taking note of dreams enough and my last DJ here was ages ago now. This is a particularly memorable dream fragment from this week.

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Dream Fragment:

First half is missing.

Was in my home city, or some altered version of it. It was day time and I was heading home on foot; there was a fluid transition to my arrival home but I've forgotten the detail of it, and when I got there it was dark at that point. My dad was in his car and approached me and told me to get in the car so we could go somewhere (for a meal or something?) - I was a bit reluctant, I was feeling in pain and really tired; mom was sat at the back with one of my brothers (T) and one of my cousins (R) was sat at the front, so I sat next to mom.

Dad started driving and very shortly after, we were going through some surreal highway that I've seen in some other dream fairly recently; surrounded by cliffs and 10-story buildings on top of the cliffs. It then turned into a rock and dirt road and there were dark abysses either side of the road, with more cliffs in the distance. I was a bit apprehensive too, but mom was starting to get quite worried and told dad, in the same way as I ever expect.

He reassured her with a smile, saying: "It's fine, I've driven on these roads loads of times!". Very shortly after he said that, we went over a bump in the road, but there was nothing on the other side. The car fell straight into one of those abysses, none of us seemingly very concerned by this, plunging into water at the bottom.

At first we didn't try to get out; I remember thinking "Well it doesn't really matter" but eventually we all got out and swam up. When we got to the surface of the water, some sort of root-like things descended toward us and took us to a sort of rocky area under a much bigger floating mass of rock.

At the centre of this area there was some sort of little shop. I remember going in and seeing all these small 4:3 CRT TV screens, each one no bigger than my head, sat on shelves, almost perfectly spaced apart. Each one of the screens had a landscape view in it, like a live feed, but not much was going on in any of them. It was a colourful shelf to look at.

As I walked along this narrow path between these big metal shelves with the TVs, something caught my attention on top of one shelf. A moonstone, but not as bright and vivid or even opalescent like one I actually have in reality. The gem was pale and sort of a sepia or cream colour but it was still slightly translucent as expected. What was odd about it was that it was encrusted with some sort of gold filigree and small golden spheres.

Start to remember less detail at this point. I remember dad went off his own way and so did my sibling and cousin. Mom stayed with me and we went outside, where it was still dark, although the direct area around wherever we went was always seemingly lit. More like the darkness was a fog made of black.

I remember seeing some bones or dead plants and noticing the floor was particularly arid. Eventually we found some building thing, which was very square. It had a brand new kitchen I think, but apart from that it was mostly just dark corridors. I don't remember anything after that point.

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A note:

I remember that in the dream the surreal landscapes felt familiar but out of place. Although I did not get anywhere near being lucid, I've had more of these moments lately where I'll have pre-lucid thoughts or recognition of a feature from a past dream.

Sep 7 2018

First dream of night: I'm at childhood home. I'm younger, I think. There is a party or gathering coming up, and we're discussing it in the backyard. My mom wants us (fiance and I) to wear a giant Barney suit. We tentatively agree. I try on the suit and can't fit the headpiece on. It's a rectangular oblong plasic open box (thinka tupperware container, but oblong. It was in no way the appropriate size for my head. On the two, I think there was a felt cap or something (driveR). I think the torso had a separate piece from the legs for the costume. After trying the headpiece on without the tupperware "structural mask", mI found that I could shift my focus and see myself in 3rd person (still non-lucid). I remember it looked nothing like a Barney head or any formed animal costume head for that matter; instead it was like a purple ghost outfit (i.e. loose draped rag with eye holes).

The dream shifts and we're all in a parking lot. My mom's request for us to work during the party has come up, but it turns out she wants us to work for 5 hours each. I say that's bullshit, she wsays "well you agreed, you just idn't specify timeframe or current ball timeframe". We were in some kind of parking lot, I was in a white van I believe. I was trying to pull out of the spot and around the corner. I fought with my momm about this and eventually resigned us completely from doing the ball.

Before getting in the van I believe, I was walking around a version of the parking a lot that was fused with my backyard. Off towards the far right/forward corner of the yard, there's a system of roots that went on for a few fet in either direction. I didn't realize, but some of them are completely rotten. I step over them and they collapse, while the healthy parts remain intact. The rotten roots fall away into a large grave-sized hole.

The dream shifts and I'm inside the house, in a false version of my room. My fiance is there with me, but is playing the role of a sister (posibly step sister or family friend, it was vague). The mood was fierce and rebellious. We are talking about how best to approach the Barney situation and my dad ends up walking around the corner. He has a few guys with him and he cracks some inappropriate jokes, and some of the guys with him say some stuff that's way out of line. My zipper is down. Before this my "sister" and I were watching TV or in the kitchen.

Dream fragment about "how to meet your heroes" or something similar.

Edit: In the main dream, I remember at multiple points having to swat away both lovebugs and wasps.



*Note: Seems like in my dreams, I usually get in huge fights with my mom (way more intense than anything ever IWL), and my dad is always laid back (innappropriately so).

Morning of April 15, 2016. Friday.



I find myself in an unknown area, seemingly indoors, with no memory of much of anything. I think that there may be some sort of movie being made but this is not certain. The setting may be either a movie studio or a warehouse for movie props.

There is a large (apparently uprooted) tree on its side. The area with the roots is very large and complex. There is another (unknown) younger male character present.

I look more closely at the area of the large roots and notice a number of “eggs” between sections of the roots. However, these “eggs” soon seem to somehow be very small egg-shaped mechanical men that are also somewhat like egg-shaped garden gnomes. I cannot really determine the nature of the setting at this point though I decide that the tree is some sort of very odd movie prop.

One of the “roots” is actually some sort of lever. I pull it and a human-sized mechanical man emerges from the underside of the tree, from within the roots (as if the bottom of the tree is mostly hollow). The mechanical man is dressed in ordinary clothes and emerges stomach down with its arms forward, but moving with a sort of slower butterfly stroke swimming pattern, but also implying it is “reaching out” towards the other person. This “reaching out” is only incidental however, as this mechanical prop would always do this same routine whenever someone pulls the lever. I find it somewhat amusing and vaguely familiar, though I am not really focused on what sort of movie this big prop might be for. In a way, it reminds me of me when I was perhaps around twenty years of age.

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This is a very strange (and for me, entirely unique) waking transition. The butterfly stroke as being relative to swimming is an excellent hybrid flight symbol and simultaneous water emergence metaphor, similar to a manta ray, stingray, flying fish, or flying sub association.

Instead of climbing a tree as related to moving through another level of conscious awareness within my dream, my dream-self projected “mechanical me” (which otherwise symbolizes the “unreal” aspect of the dream state itself and the lack of a “real” physical form for the dreamer in the dream state), comes from inside the tree, and from the underside, as metaphorical for waking up. (Of course, “movie” is a replacement word for the dream state, though as stated before, fictional dream characters curiously also use “movie” to describe a real-life event.)

This is probably one of the only times I have seen a tree in a dream symbolize birth or awakening and as representing motherhood (validated by all the little egg men which are analogous to human ovaries, the tree roots being analogous to fallopian tubes in this case). Very curious. I am otherwise very familiar with this symbolism since I have documented hundreds of dreams which utilized this same basic template (including “The Tadpole’s Ghost” and “Red Wagon Teleportation” and many others). However, I am not aware of any dominant light source (or beam or ray) in this dream, though which is probably implied to be the seeming daytime setting itself (though I do not recall seeing a sunbeam coming from a window or doorway).

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Updated on Friday, 1 July 2016: I forgot that “coming out of a tree” could also be a play on “The Lorax”, who came out of a tree after it was chopped down. This then, would also seemingly be a reference to mortality rather than just birth. “The Lorax” was broadcast first on Valentine’s Day in 1972 and my father died on Valentine’s Day in 1979. The connection seems obvious now. There are probably hundreds (more like thousands) of markers like this in my dreams which I have not discovered yet.

Morning of August 2, 2015. Sunday.



There is a small hill on the side of a larger hill sloped down to my left with a single tree growing on the top and a small cave within the smaller hill that is slightly to the left at first. Looking more closely upon approach, tree roots hang down from the ceiling of the cave. This creates somewhat of an unusual impression that I cannot put words to. It gives me pause to think that, even though the tree is possibly very old, many of its roots are exposed within the cave, even more-so by anyone who wants to mess about in the cave. In fact, I even get the impression of an unsavory character looking around the side of the hill to my right.

Going partly into the cave though mostly staying by the entrance, I discover that the roots are actually not roots, but the trunk of some sort of miniature exotic tree (possibly a fruit tree of some kind). The top of the tree is in fact very green and I now see that the roof of the cave has nothing hanging from it as was seen just previously. Now I think that this special tree may even be more vulnerable than the tree above (even though it is unlikely it would have flourished in a dark cave as such) as it is seemingly much younger and certainly smaller.

However, it soon dawns on me that I am, in fact, in the cave myself (rather than looking in from just outside) and am looking out at a normal-sized tree in a field that is a fair distance from the cave, as I realize I am looking at a blue sky from my viewpoint rather than the dark recesses of a cave. (There is a brief sense of deja vu relating to something about commentary on dream journals, yet I cannot quite focus and I am in no way lucid and the idea of a dream journal, especially a digital one, falsely seems somewhat abstract and “out of reach”). I am wondering if I should feel vulnerable now that I am in the cave and am not sure if I should exit. I do not really focus on the illogical changes of perspective and imagery and placement that I would otherwise just enjoy in light sleep paralysis (during the speedier imagery before it slows down enough to “enter” when a more interesting setting or location appears).

When I was very young, I played near a recess in a hill on Chipmunk Coulee, though the “cave” was not very deep. I remember at least one photograph where I was sitting in the area, which is probably with at least one relative now. I remember the unusual perspective I had at that age (which carried over into some later dreams) of being “between worlds” just by sitting within the entrance (part of me outside, part inside).

I'm on my bed playing with a camera, trying to take pictures of a city park in front of me, when a dark mist covers part of some trees. The image on the LCD looks very dreamy to me. Then I tell a DC on my side "it looks like it is a dreamscape". I try to get more pictures of it, until the the haze is to dark and the images turn in black. I get exited because of the possibility to get dreamscapes with this camera, then I point to a door on my left, by moving just the image on the screen with a smooth movement of my hands (it looked more like a 1st person game motion). When I press the button, I see the illumination of the image like the sun is moving really fast until I get a beautiful photo of a tree with its roots coming out of a wall next to a door. It's filled in blue and green colors besides the dreamy shadows. I'm fascinated when the DC turns into my wife and she tells me that we have to go somewhere.
I want to take more pictures, when I notice I'm pointing a window in front of me. I put the camera down and I realize it's a known dreamscape in the outside! I tell her "Wow, there it is, it's THAT dreamworld I love the most!! I stand up from my bed to see an abandoned train station in the outside and tell her: "There is the old train station!!..." Then I take one more picture. I hear the sound of an analog camera when I press the button. I look around to realize the whole dreamscape, I'm simply fascinated!
My wife doesn't seem to get interested at all, and she starts pulling me to go. I ask her to wait a little. I just want to go out of this dark room and explore, because I'm starting to realize what it means (it's a dream). Then she holds me from my genitals and squeeze them. That hurts and I'm thinking for what to do to get rid off her. I wonder about the pain, and she insists to take me out from here. I complain about it in a friendly way, trying to see the situation as something funny, but it's hurting me...
Finally, I'm lying on the floor, with the camera on my hands with my wife pulling me from my genitals... then I wake up thinking perhaps she has something interesting to say or do...

Last Nights Lucid Dream

I wake up in bed and feel vibrations so I keep my eyes closed and will myself out of my body. My dream body rises, still in the lying down position and then I tilt so my feet are now facing the floor. I lower down gently to the floor and I'm now in a standing position.
I look around and my vision is blurry and my eyes feel funny so I call out "clarity now!" and rub my hands together. My vision is very crisp and clear now, even better than in real life, which is usually the way it is. I think "hmmm, what shall I do?" I now call out "I want to see my Nan Futrill".
I now end up at another place, my surroundings have changed. I'm at a place which, well all I can describe it as is a massive building with big tree roots there. There are about 3 to 4 levels to this building and I'm now on level 3 I think.
There is another woman with me, she's about my age and I feel a connection to her, like I know her already.
I'm now calling out "Nan Futrill" but I don't see her so I keep calling and she now comes. Nan looks so happy and I feel so much emotion for her, I'm so happy that I've found her. We don't really talk, it's more of a telepathy kind of talking and strong emotions. I remember that my Nan was wearing a light blue apron. Nan now fades away as she walks out through a door. I shout "NO!" and the woman who's with me now comes to me from the other room. She says "she has to go now but you will see her again" and she hugs me. I start to cry now and she says "don't cry, you will see her again, but just not yet".
I'm now wondering around this level and I'm shouting "NAN, NAN PLEASE COME BACK!" I now see my Cousin Richard ((who died when he was 6)) he cuddles me and holds my hand. Me and Richard fly around for a while just enjoying each others company.
Richard now tells me that he has to go back to Nan, but says they will both come back to see me. He hugs me and then goes through a door. I go through the same door but I don't recognise the place, so I go back to the area that I'm very familiar with.
I'm crying so much now because I want my Nan back. I keep shouting her, hoping ill get her back again, I'm absolutely blarting my eyes out.
I'm now flying about and then I feel myself back in bed. I will myself back to the same place and suddenly I'm back there. I see a young baby boy lying on the floor and he's wrapped up in a white shawl. He's also wearing a white babygrow. As I float past him he wakes up, I think "he can't be comfortable there" so I pick him up and cuddle him , he calms down so I take him to his cot. He looks very much like me and has lovely dark brown eyes. I put him into his cot and say "there...is that better now?" He nods and goes back to sleep. ((He's about 2 and a half or 3)). I now gently tuck his shawl round him so he's not cold.
I now wake up again, so I keep my eyes closed and keep still and will myself out again. I do get out and am now in my dream body and standing in my room. My vision is blurry so again I call out "clarity now!" and rub my hands together to stabilise my dream. My vision is now crystal clear.
I see knitting on my floor, I can see every detail, this always amazes me, it's like having HD eyes lol! and my voice no longer echoes. I will myself back to the place I was at and I'm now back there.
I'm now on the bottom level by a desk, it's like a meeting up area. People are sitting around chatting to each other. A group of men now stand near to me. 1 man is looking at me, as they pass they whistle at me, which makes me chuckle. I now go more into the socialising area with the woman who's with me. 1 woman I met there was called Anita. I say "ill remember that because my friend is called Anita". We are both sitting on the root of an old tree. It's a big root and they're all over the place in here. Me and the other woman I'm with now go into the room next door and meet the old man in there. I feel some kind of connection to this man and feel that this man is very high here in authority, if not the highest.
I am floating near floor level and taking in my surroundings. Suddenly I spot the most beautiful item I have ever seen. It's a glass box which is pyramid shaped but a bit longer, like its been stretched slightly. The edges of it and such, apart from the glass, is made out of silver. The silver is shaped in the shape of a rope. Inside the pyramid are beautiful gems. There is a gorgeous gem which is green in colour, it really caught my eye!. I can honestly say I have never seen anything as beautiful as this pyramid in all my living life!!!! This box is sealed with silver, no one can get into it because its so special and precious.
I ask the elderly man if I can fly up and take a better look, he says "of course". He flys up to it and turns it around slowly so I can have a good look at it. This man explained everything about it to me. I now depart and have a good fly around just enjoying the feeling of being free and then I wake up.

Morning of February 22, 1992. Saturday.



My dream girl (oh…except for one little thing - she is now real) approaches the Tree of Knowledge. There is a resonance whereby, though there is change, the form can still be discerned over time. Remote viewing comes so easily at times. For her, I was born, even before her own birth. Humanity has no answers or even a scrap of knowledge concerning my nature, but that has never been problematic in any serious sense.

I see the universe at the base, the roots alive, almost octopus-like. Above each root is an eye-like structure, the eyes somewhat catlike, though actually each “eye” is more like a portal over time. A spiral. So I draw these facets as spirals. Within these roots are smaller roots. On and on. Of course, everyone doodles spirals and many-eyed octopus trees with hooked roots at some point in their lives. Yes?

When she was much younger, Zsuzsanna drew a rather surreal image in her journal. Years later, when I was writing to her and her family, I drew a similar concept on the outside of an envelope without having any clue of what she had drawn. Once again, the truth unveils (even though she already knew who I was with my very first letter - after all, for whatever reason, she had found me and remote-viewed my life since her birth - endless proof; everywhere).

Being only one of hundreds (make that thousands) of similar occurrences, which is quite beneficial, as it stops ordinary people from wanting to be near one (faces of fear, faces of bafflement, faces of anger) - thus less misleading and misguided rubbish from their limited awareness of the universe casts one’s way - it does not take a genius to know the “cop outs” of humanity are of no value for one seeking truth in their own path. People have tried to influence me since I was very young. I gawk at their audacity and limited understanding. Yet there is still respect for them as living beings.

The first image is scanned from one of my wife’s old journals. The second from the envelope I sent from America to Australia (without knowing of the contents of her journals). This one is a freebie and for mild amusement. For all the ones that are “too close”, I have learned that most people do not have the capacity to either believe or understand. It is a predictable habit people have to run from the Source rather than embrace it and thus many always keep their back to it. I had nothing to fear.

Which does not mean, of course, that the universe is a plant-like octopus reaching out to grab you.

Morning of February 17, 1991. Sunday.



I consider this dream precognitive due to its vivid and personal nature regarding upcoming contact with my future wife a short time before my first highly unlikely and unexpected communication with her in real life. It had the very similar mood and awareness found in my more personally precognitive dreams and the extra layer of focus.

I have absolutely no doubt that this dream (of many others) somehow “announced” my upcoming contact and partnership with my soulmate (lifelong “mystery girl”). I would have to be extremely shortsighted (as well as wholly ignorant of my own consciousness and previous experiences) to see it differently. I would like to be clear that the opinions of skeptics mean nothing to me.

In my dream, I am back in Cubitis (Florida) on the south side of the front section of the shed. Oddly though, at the same time, I seem to be doing some gardening for sister Marilyn at her house in Wisconsin. Over time, I pull up several larger weeds.

Eventually, I find a stubborn “root” which I believe to be that of a larger plant somewhere in the area, perhaps even a tree or at least a shrub. When I pull on it, it turns out to be an electrical cord and an old antique lamp (similar to one my sister had in real life) emerges from the ground, entangled in actual roots. I feel a vivid sense of wonder and awe that is very hard to describe.

The lamp has two figures on the base, a presumed married couple effigy, but very old-fashioned (possibly 1700s); a dark-haired woman in a wedding dress and her partner. There is a very unusual emotion as if it is an important discovery and that the man may somehow be “me”. It seems very personal and significant. I am thinking about whether or not the lamp will still work after being buried in the ground for so long.