• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Monday, June 10

      by , 06-27-2019 at 08:56 PM
      I am with Dad at his house. I think it looks mostly the same, but the view out of the front window is different. Instead, there is a view of a slight desert ravine or at least some fairly steep desert hills. There is nothing but sand, rock, and sagebrush until a very tiny patch of what looks like buildings on the very far horizon. In a corner of the house opposite the window there is some machine, no bigger than a small couch, that apparently launches missiles/bombs. I think there is an atom bomb, a hydrogen bomb, and a magnet bomb? The last is the smallest, but still a very serious bomb. One of the larger bombs, still a long, thin cylindrical shape that fits on the device, is loaded and ready to be sent to Russia. I think this must have been Dad’s idea, and it is all very nonchalant. It has been launched out through the open front window now, and I am waiting. After a while, I see dark clouds forming on the horizon. They aren’t really black, but look more like storm clouds. After these clouds form, I see dense, white smoke. It is coming this way, slowly, from my vantage point. The sunlight seems to dim here now, and I look again at the approaching white smoke. The mass is travelling up the hills, and I know it won’t stop for us. The ravine’s length is quickly becoming consumed; it is moving a bit faster than I thought possible at this distance. I fear it might break the window, so I turn away and move towards the kitchen. In an instant, the light is drained, looking like there is an eclipse or total, dark cloud cover. It is only the smoke though, as I hear it pass over the house with an airy impact, like a plane passing through clouds. I see it cover the far windows and pass seemingly slower than it came. I wonder what Russia looks right now, what city had the most impact, what history has been completely erased or rewritten. I then wonder who will retaliate and send a bomb to the US, thinking it inevitable. I think about dying like that, and it is not something I want. It all feels too real.
    2. Roofer Intrusion

      by , 12-20-2017 at 07:32 AM
      Morning of December 19, 2017. Tuesday.

      This dream occurred during the time we had been trying to sleep, early in the morning, with the roofers having worked on our house in reality, but during their break and when we fell asleep.

      In my dream, there is a scene where one of the roofers is actually in our house and I see that he is watching Zsuzsanna sleep. I am not lucid. This annoys me very much, but he soon leaves. Meanwhile, I notice strange features hanging from the ceiling, about three feet from the floor. There are four of them, defining a square’s vertices. They look like vertically flat objects, seemingly made of material such as vinyl, but with the look of a chest of drawers. I do not consider this feature strange even though most of my conscious self identity is extant.

      Later, I am looking through our clerestory windows and see two roofers (each one’s face through a different window, the first and third from the left). A lot of black smoke is coming from the first roof tier to the left. Apparently, it is coming from a power tool, but I am vaguely considered that it may be toxic. The other male is looking on. Both look at us at times. This has the essence of a false awakening, and the roofers are starting to make noise in real life by this point.

      This is a typical intruder dream triggered by real environmental sounds and vaguely perceived “intruders” at the time. However, they did not actually come into our house or watch us through our clerestory windows, as this is just the RAS (reticular activating system) mode that functions as such when one is unconscious. (Understanding dreams is not difficult despite most people bizarrely having no clue as to what a dream actually is). I am not lucid in this particular case. Chase dreams are of the same nature, also rendered by way of RAS, which renders the personified preconscious to alert the dreamer into waking, because waking is a biological necessity. It is that simple. (Some people do have too much stress, though, and as such, would likely rather to continue to sleep, which RAS simply will not allow out of biological need.)

      Additionally, looking through a window represents the waking space (that is, the liminal space between dreaming and waking). The black smoke (a real-time symbol) symbolizes the nature of being asleep (and has occurred in other dreams as such, including a few positive, even blissful dreams). The unusual hanging features likely relate to the fact I am not “on the ground”. That is, it is a dream state indicator similar to that of “The Hanging Doll” in that it symbolizes my physical body being in bed, though is also linked to my dream’s distorted perception of the four roofers, and their temporary status of being on our home’s roof (as four “floating chests” that have very limited storage for “a longer stay”). I have always found it utterly bizarre that people do not seem to understand that what is going on in a dream is based on being in the dream state itself. How could so many people not be aware of something so obvious?

      The roofers in real life extended and built over our second-tiered roof (pretty much destroying the purpose of a clerestory roof) so that it now blocks the clerestory windows and only ugly rafters are visible. One even said he would come around and board them up from inside. Zsuzsanna told him no, but for people to even do things like this and suggest things like this means that something is apparently “missing” from their mind, an inability to think or understand anything (too much alcohol perhaps? In the DNA?). Zsuzsanna and I have conversations often about what is “missing” from so-called normal people.

    3. Ready to Smoke on the Porch

      by , 03-04-2017 at 09:04 AM
      Morning of March 4, 2017. Saturday.

      I am on the Loomis Street porch and there are soon a number of unfamiliar people, most of whom are closer to the porch door. We are on the north end of the porch. There is a point at which one of the others talks about smoking. There are a few different types of plants in small transparent plastic bags and I am not certain if some are meant to contain marijuana or tobacco but I assume they may have marijuana. I also have a braided section of sweetgrass. I light it and deliberately breathe in the smoke for some reason.

      An unknown girl wants me to roll a cigarette and seems to think I have better tobacco or marijuana than her. I tell her that I do not have any papers. After a pause, I ask her if I can use one of hers. I go over and see that there is a large sheet of thin paper she has on her lap (which is atop a book), a little bigger than a sheet of notebook paper. It seems unlikely that someone would roll such a large cigarette. I reason that doing so would require a number of folds before rolling. I ask her if I should use only half the paper by tearing it across the width and she says no with a tone of annoyance in her voice.

      I take it to the other side of the porch (the right of the living room entrance) and put it on top of a closed turntable that is sitting on a high-set table. I then ask her if she wants to do it. She gets up, seemingly somewhat annoyed. She takes out a large plastic bag and begins to drop a large amount of dried leaves on the paper. Pieces are falling everywhere, much of it outside of the paper. My dream becomes a little more vivid at this point.

      My mother (appearing for the first time in this dream) looks out through the doorway as if puzzled by what is going on and asks her what she is doing. I also ask her what she is doing since I get the impression she is wasting much of it as only some is going onto the paper, much of it going over the table and floor.

      Understanding dream dynamics:

      • Although my mother was the one to wake me to get up for school for so many years, she does not usually appear as the emergent consciousness factor (or even the preconscious) in the final moments of a dream (threshold dream type - that is, when the waking metaphor is rendered as someone or something appearing in a doorway).
      • The porch setting is usually only rendered at a specific level of consciousness in the final dream of a sleep cycle, as it links to a specific form of liminal space (both in dreams and in reality). This has been the case since early childhood.
      • There have been a number of other dreams where smoke has appeared on a porch (not always the same source). Although smoke is a coalescence factor, it seems a no-brainer that it is associated with fire (which represents neuronal activity).
      • Doing something in a dream that one would not do in real life is evidence of instinctual dreaming (and non-lucid dream control). (For example, I would never associate with drug users in real life.)

      Updated 09-08-2019 at 07:38 PM by 1390

    4. Spooky Comp. Day 17 - eating, drinking, smoking, sex :)

      by , 11-03-2016 at 04:18 PM
      i am at work sitting on the ground and putting some money into a transparent plastic pocket. my boss is kneeling on the ground right next to me and counting my working hours of the month together. a family is coming in and looking turkish but talking russian? i wonder. a friend of mine (who does not work there) is serving them. i notice one woman has no shoes/only sandals on. i notice a coworker also just has open shoes and for some reason i get lucid by this doing a nosepinch to confirm and have problems believing the fact its just a dream. i phase thru the table and leave the shop and try to pocketsummon something to eat but my pockets are empty. i turn around and see a carazza-pizza (snack) in a shelf. i take it and open it. its way bigger than in waking life but i bite in and it tastes the same. i enter the shop that is an imbiss now again and see a counter. i go there and pick me a coke and drink it. i notice to wear a big jacket now and the pockets are full i pocketsummon a bottle of wine and there is other stuff in there but i leave it there i leave the shop again. i try to think about the new totms of november. i remember that a lot of them needed a dc to interact so i phase thru a building wall and fall several meters to the ground but i feel no pain at the impact and stand up standing right infront of a door. i phase my head thru the door to look inside (damn not wall but floor was the totm^^) and i see a flat. i ring the bell and a petite good looking girl approaches and opens the door. i enter and we go to the living room. i notice that i now have a big joint in my hand i smoke it consciously and it tastes strong and i can smell the smoke. but i feel no effect. i hand it over to the girl. when i enter the living room i notice another girl and some minutes later notice that next to the girl a dude is lying around. i try some mind control and command the girl to take of her cloths. she starts to undress but while doing like i demand she is nagging around. i dont care and from here on some naughty stuff happens i dont want to describe i wake up by my phone ringing in dream and i think its in waking life and wake up -.-
      Tags: drink, eat, phase, sex, smoke
    5. Beware of the dog

      by , 08-18-2016 at 06:24 PM
      D1 - In a hospital room and its patient viewing time, i'm not totally sure who the patient is but have the feeling that they have been sick for a long time as the routine seems so familiar. We are sharing lunch and messing with the equipment (that can't be right).

      D2 - On a ferry/ship my daughter is escaping from parental supervision and I am in cahoots with her. No idea.
      And the end of the ship (bow? lol) she opens the doors and we can see the shore real close. Also there is a stash of cigarettes of different kinds and lighters and matches. We take all the stuff and are thinking of some kind of escape via a smaller boat or swimming.
      I am trying to learn some kind of powers so I can set light to things without needing matches Oo ? I totally believe it in the dream,

      D3 - At my parents house there is a super big dog that uses their toilet @@ ok lol.
      I am setting out my daughters toys for playing some game or other.

      D4 - I'm late for work, this is a dream I had soooooooo long ago. Where I am late for work, running late and trying to find clothes to put on. Then I have to run down the road to get the bus (which only like gets there once an hour).
      Tags: dog, hospital, ship, smoke, toys
    6. FIRE!!!!

      by , 05-15-2016 at 08:57 AM
      My dream starts off with me working at The Boys and Girls Club, I was the server at the snackbar making and passing food to the children. It was closing time and I was supposed to start walking home. I walk outside and see a shooting star, and next to that a blimp starts to crash and fireworks started shooting off at the same time. because of the crash I hear an ambulance in the distance. Some of the children where left behind so I started to walk them home, I take them through the park and I see fire in the distance, as I get closer I see that it was a house on fire! One of the children run inside then run back out, I grab the water-hose and run inside. there was allot of smoke so I start spraying the hose, I look down and see a toddler crying so I grab him and run back outside and give him to one of the children. I run back inside and get to a recliner and see a blanket with a figure under it. I pull back the cover and find a 1 year old baby, looked dead but then looked up. next to that was a cradle with another blanket and a smaller figure. I pull the blanket and find a newborn , grab him and now I had 2 babies in my arms running back outside and give the babies to the children. I run back inside and in the kitchen I find the mother dead on the floor stabbed in the heart. (looked like a suicide) . I run upstairs and there was even MORE smoke. I hear crying in the bathroom and open the door, I found a 3 year old little girl in a bathtub of water, I grab her, I hear another cry coming from a room, I open the door and find a teenager tied up to a chair with rope. I cut her loose, run downstairs with both of them, pass their dead mother and take them to safety. I run back into this burning house 1 last time to make sure everyone was out and safe. I get to the master bedroom and found the father stabbed to death and the knife plunged into his heart and is set on fire. I came to the conclusion that The wife killed her husband then she killed herself after hiding the babies and setting the house on fire. I ran outside grabbed the newborn and cried. I had all the children surrounding me, the fire department finally arrive and end the fire. The news reporters start showing up and ambulances come to help bring the children to the hospital.. I wake up
    7. Gun smoke

      by , 02-18-2016 at 04:22 PM
      D1 - At school, after lessons, there is some festival? on.Everyone is congregated into a smallish space. Lots of bustling,
      two school children tell me that S is looking for me, and they want to help raise money for her. I follow them only to find out they are scamming me. I am very cross, and look for them but they're are way to many people and I can't see them anywhere. I decide to spend the afternoon looking through the building for them. Another teacher says he had similar problem.

      D2 - I am lying on the ground talking into an old style black phone, with swirly cord. I am allowed to ask questions of someone.
      Questions they would never normally ask about themselves. For every question I ask, I take one bullet from a gun. I ask stilted questions as its a bit difficult to focus when you've been shot. Each time I am getting holes torn into me. Soon enough I receive a fatal bullet. I do not care and am happy to sacrifice my life for the answers. I dramatically spray into a grey powder, loads of black dots on closer examination. Leaving powder in the air and black peices that are left of me.
      Tags: black, gun, phone, school, smoke
      non-lucid , nightmare
    8. Heat and Smoke

      by , 12-19-2015 at 06:19 PM
      Morning of December 19, 2015. Saturday.

      In my very vivid dream, my family and I are back living on Barolin Street (the large house no longer there in reality, having been moved). It seems to be late at night and I am on our front porch with a young version of my brother Earl (deceased) and his last wife Cindy. I am nearest the front entrance, Cindy being to my right, and Earl being to her right. We are all seated on small kitchen chairs. My brother and his wife are facing an electronics setup though I am more to the side of it, what is seemingly a cassette deck to record their conversation and possibly singing. This cassette deck is sitting on a larger feature, which is some sort of computer. There is also apparently a radio. (This is probably associated with a recording which Earl and his first wife Beverly created at North Monroe Street in 1967 with a guitarist of the region, Don Keys, including their singing and his own double-tracked guitar parts on reel-to-reel, which was transferred to cassette copies.) This is where I had a setup in real life prior to our moving, though not exactly as in my dream.

      Over time, the face of the vertical-load cassette deck seems detached and loose and is out by about half an inch. I also notice that the front of the computer tower is slightly protruding with a gap. Eventually, I feel a bit of heat and smoke begins to come out.

      There is a temporary strange shifting of the situation, like an offset dream within a dream but oddly just as vivid (without a seeming consciousness shift, which is atypical of dreams within dreams). I am then on the far right of the setup and my oldest son, seeming only about twelve years old again, is to my left. I am telling him that he should sit back from the smoke as the smoke seems possibly toxic if too much is breathed in, though at this point, it seems a “normal” part of the recording process and to be expected of the electronic equipment (even though in the main scenario it is not considered as such at all).

      Then, I am shifted back into the previous scenario again, exactly the same as it was. I do not really pay any notice to my having shifted into the offset dream but continue trying to work out what is going on with the equipment. The smoke is not that thick but seems to annoy my brother and his wife and becomes more problematic. It mostly drifts northward through our porch.

      My brother Earl shows me his wife’s bracelet, which had been sitting atop the cassette deck. “Look,” he says to me, “it’s melted”. He seems slightly annoyed but not angry. His wife Cindy looks on without emotion.

      I then notice that my black wallet (of synthetic plastic) had also been atop the cassette deck and has partly melted. It has even come apart into two sections, all of the contents having been singed. I am only slightly concerned. I am not sure if we will continue to work in a session regarding what we had been doing (recording from the radio or Earl singing with his wife).

      Because a cassette deck has two cylindrical rotating features (and especially being a machine), it is obvious now that it is a subtle metaphorical form of the Merkaba. Frankly, I cannot imagine how I have missed this all this time - talk about being “slow”. (In fact, this setting reflects when I experienced it the strongest when wide awake, complete with the intense cilia-like imagery. This also means that I will be able to get additional clues out of a number of past dreams that I had not fully decoded yet.)

      The cassette deck being the (partnered) Merkaba is even more obvious with the additional elements which validate this likelihood. Firstly, the melted bracelet is that which symbolizes lack of bondage to something mundanely habitual; in other words, it augments spiritual freedom (or not being “chained” by society’s limited understanding and unrewarding material pursuits). (A melted bracelet equates a removed handcuff.) Secondly, the melted wallet means dynamic spiritual freedom in another way, in the sense of the melted identification card - that is, losing static and mundane associations with any previous presumed identity - or being free of non-dynamic restrictions caused by being “labelled” by either government or consensus or even a particular individual.

      In another way, it could also be a reminder of the ephemerality of the Merkaba. (Certainly, something melting does not always have this association. For example, I have two well-documented dreams of melted bicycles, both having been preceded by having a small amount of alcohol in real life. It is clear to me that, as a bicycle represents both cellular processes and the ability to define travel through “narrower paths” - as well as yet another form of the partnered Merkaba evidenced by the two rotating wheels - that alcohol interferes with cellular processes - “melting” or killing brain cells - and interferes with intended steering or desired direction as well as spiritual relationships.)

      Smoke often represents real-time communications with consensus consciousness and (potential) changes of thinking in the dreamer (or the “burning” or dissolving of previous ideas or circumstances). In this case, aspects may be “toxic” because of the limiting nature of some levels of collective consciousness; that is, people who refuse to move on by holding labels over a person or circumstance; they are mentally “stuck” on one time period (or fixed memory) and one illusory facade without the ability to understand transience or natural change, as even rocks are transitory.

      Why was my brother Earl rendered in this situation? Since childhood, I always referred to him as the “doubting Thomas” of my family, so at one level, he is the “skeptic” within my consciousness.

      Some people have the idea that “being free of restraint” (melted bracelet) and “losing invariable identification” (melted wallet) can only be of negative implications, when that depends on the circumstances. My experiences with the Merkaba tell me that something outside of myself is needed to balance my place in the universe (in other words, my soulmate). My wife Zsuzsanna and I had also made cassettes of our singing together, mostly when we lived on Gellibrand Street in Clayfield. There are sometimes many layers to consider in a particular dream, depending on its type. This one seems to have more actual meaning than usual (though not just because it was vivid and non-lucid).

      Tags: porch, smoke, wallet
    9. People from the Smoke

      by , 10-24-2015 at 04:24 PM
      Morning of October 24, 2015. Saturday.

      I am seemingly about sixteen years old again and back in Florida in my backyard in Cubitis. My mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is in our house, in our living room. I am looking east at a rather narrow diagonal trail of black smoke that otherwise resembles the pattern of a contrail (though is touching the ground). Additionally, there is a thicker column of smoke rising up near a farmhouse, though the farmhouse itself appears to be mostly undamaged.

      About three times, I try to get my mother’s attention as she is sitting near the open windows in the south area of the living room. I want her to understand that a missile came down in the distance. I drawl the word rather loudly, pronouncing it MISS-sigh-ul. Still, I am not sure of the circumstances as I do not recall seeing it hit, though I do expect another one soon, yet this does not occur at any point. I do not feel threatened or in danger; I just want to inform people of what is going on. I wait for signs of explosions in the distance.

      Instead, a young male figure in black who is wearing a top hat walks from the area and eventually becomes more visible and discernible as he approaches our backyard. He is reminiscent of a young David Cassidy (but with the essence of a “dark magician”). He has a slightly menacing appearance. A narrow perfectly vertical tall column of black smoke rises from his top hat as he approaches (possibly a play on chimney pot hat or stove pipe hat).

      Soon, the situation changes. I am in a mostly empty room (seemingly partly modeled after my father’s original room in Cubitis - but this is only a subtle impression) where there are two annoying male human heads attached to a long mostly horizontal stream of dark gray smoke. They seem aggressive and dominating. The faces are approaching me but I easily knock them back mentally (and with a hand motion) and “flatten” them. At one point, each is like a long series of two-dimensional cutouts of faces (somewhat caterpillar-like) that are thrown back onto the wall by my will, each expressing a slightly different visage of worried surprise.

      Later, my dream becomes even more surreal. There are some sort of possibly alien beings (though they look human) attempting to control everyone in a town. However, I am able to mentally cause these threatening beings to hallucinate and perceive things in ways that cause them to fail in their intended conquest (including scampering chipmunks and menacing low-flying kites). This happens twice (possibly one is a dream “reset”). They do become aware of what I am doing but act as if they are curious about my ability rather than annoyed or angered. They leave with no success of even one attempt to conquer even one person.

      Finally, a “bad” or demon-like male (though mostly of normal human appearance) is easily thrown out of an underground chamber by a slight focus of my will and “replaced” by a (unknown) dark-haired young girl with leather “letter X” patterns in her apparel (over chest, legs, and arms, somewhat shoelace-like). She is followed through the doorway to my right by small iridescent butterflies, some sort of abstract “creatures” crawling on the wall (which look like paired human fingers moving along somewhat beetle-like) and other small, bizarre, and surreal but living forms. I am aware of other benevolent entities coming to “take control” of all apparently negative realms, which then creates a youthful and pleasant energy everywhere. (More and more, I notice how dreams seem to color a person’s mood and level of energy.)

      Updated 08-25-2017 at 07:35 PM by 1390

    10. #219. Smoke

      by , 09-15-2015 at 06:31 PM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)
      It's about five in the morning. The early morning sun shines onto the gravel of the parking lot, casting long shadows.

      My brother and I sitting in a car. I'm in the driver's seat, but the car is parked, and the two of us are just looking at the houses on the street over.

      There's some kind of argument, and idly, I imagine a spark near one of the houses.

      Suddenly, there's smoke billowing from the windows of the house closest to the spark. Good job, me, bringing innocent bystanders into our argument.

      I jump out of the car, shouting "Come on!"

      My brother follows me to the house. I ring the doorbell twice -- come on, come on -- and a sleepy-looking woman answers the door.

      I point out the billowing smoke, and she thanks me for my concern but tells me that's it's normal.


      Later, I'm with my mom and brother visiting someone.

      "We should get back home," I tell my mom, looking at the approaching storm.

      The thunderstorm approaches at the speed of a semi truck, the first pellets of heavy rain hitting the ground in a continuous wave.

      "Too late," says my mom, and we duck to the floor of the room (which is on the top of the house) and I'm holding up a floor mat to try to shield us both from the mud splattering into the room.
    11. Hong Kong Apartment + Trail of Smoke (DILDs + FAs)

      by , 03-08-2015 at 08:03 PM
      Ritual: WTB 12:30am, woke 7:30 with first DILD. No techniques, hadn't really intended to get lucid, but I was wearing a Jawbone fitness tracker on my wrist to bed for the first time. It's a bit tight and I think the unfamiliar sensation served as an anchor for consciousness.

      DILD (eventually), "Hong Kong Apartment": I am in Hong Kong with my husband, staying in the apartment of someone unknown to me. I'm curious who this guy is and why we're at his place, so I'm attentive to my surroundings. It is a one-bedroom apartment and the layout feels familiar; I figure it must be a common floorplan here. The first thing I remember is being in a small room of unclear function, a study maybe, and looking at a plaque on the wall. It depicts a Chinese character, the archaic version of that character, and the pinyin transliteration: sōng, corresponding to the English word "page"—not the leaf of a book but the job title. From this I suppose that the young man who lives here must be serving as a page in the Hong Kong government, in the same way that there are pages in the US Congress.

      My husband is talking to me, and I'm vaguely following his words but not entirely sure what he's going on about. I'm still trying to figure out why we're here: does my husband know the guy who owns this place, or is this some kind of Airbnb arrangement? Meanwhile I'm trying to wrap an enormous porkchop—the size of a prime rib steak—that I have for some reason. It is fully grilled but no one has eaten it yet, and I'm not hungry now so I want to put it away. It had been wrapped in butcher's paper but I'm having trouble re-wrapping it, and this distracts my attention for some time as I end up having to use a piece of foil to supplement the paper where it is torn. As I finally wrap the porkchop successfully and go to put it in the fridge, I see that there is fresh lettuce in the fridge, and I've also noticed dirty plates on the counter. I had assumed the apartment's owner was letting us stay because he was away somewhere, but these details make me think he must be currently living here and could walk in at any moment.

      I know my husband needs to leave for some meeting or event, and our conversation is delaying his departure, so finally I say in exasperation, "Get out of here already!" Right after he goes out the door, I worry that he might have misunderstood my tone of voice and thought I was angry, so I opened the door and called after his retreating form, "I didn't mean to speak harshly." Meanwhile a girl with short, curly blonde hair is walking from right to left in front of the apartment, and I think she might be someone he had just been referring to—at the time I even recalled her name, something with the initials "J.S."—so I gaze at her curiously. She looks back at me with the self-conscious but indifferent air of someone wondering why a stranger is staring at them. It seems like it would be awkward to start a conversation so I go back inside.

      Alone in the apartment, I look around at the decor. There are a lot of hand-carved wooden animal figures, and they remind me of a set that I bought in a museum shortly before Christmas, but couldn't figure out who to give them to. They seem to match this guy's tastes... maybe I should give them to him, in thanks for the loan of his apartment. It seems like a nice gesture so I plan on it. In the center of the main room, which has an open floor plan connected with the kitchenette, is a wide square column that is hollow inside to serve as storage space. I note with interest that there are a number of oversized books here. One of them is at least four feet tall, and the title on the spine reads Disney as Orientalism, accompanied by some Disney-style graphics. I make a mental note that later I'll want to pull that one out and flip through it. It's so big it won't fit on a table—I'll have to do this on the floor! It is the largest of the books in this closet, but none of them are small. Several others are about three feet tall with matching red covers, and I see that one of them is about Shanghai. Books of this size must have cost a fortune... this guy must be doing well here. I wonder if it would be rude to read his books without asking permission first, but figure there's no harm in it.

      I wonder how I'll explain my presence if this guy shows up while I'm here by myself, since I'm still not clear on who he exactly is or why I'm at his apartment. In fact, this question starts to bother me, because it seems like I should have a better explanation. Of course, it's always possible that I'm dreaming, but... I want to discount this at first, since it seems to contradict what I'm experiencing from this environment. It is so detailed, lifelike, and stable, it really doesn't feel like a dream. But I make myself take the time to think this over more carefully: if I am actually dreaming, that would explain a lot, like why I had a porkchop, something I almost never eat, and the difficulty I had wrapping it. It would explain why I am in Hong Kong with no idea why I am here, and why I find myself in the apartment of a guy I don't even know. I don't use any techniques to RC, I just think it over and gradually recognize the illusory nature of my surroundings: indeed I am dreaming!

      So now what? Normally I would apply myself to some task or other, but I had specifically made a point not to do so this time, if I got lucid, because I'm facing too much work today to spend hours writing up my report. So my plan was not to do anything specific, but simply to contemplate and enjoy the dream environment. (For some reason I had the idea that this would save me time writing things up later, although that is proving not to be the case!) I walk toward the back wall of the apartment, which is completely transparent, and look outside. It is still night, but there is a well-lit open-air bar just below, with a stream running behind it. There are a surprising number of people down there, and all seem to be relaxed and enjoying themselves, like guests at a resort. I sit down to watch the scene, while thinking back over what I've just experienced. I'm still impressed by how detailed and stable this dream was. For instance, that Chinese character on the wall—it was so clearly articulated, even though I don't think it was one I've ever seen before, and I strongly doubt it's even a real one. I wished I had looked at it more carefully, and focus on reviving the mental image. I think can remember the top elements of the modern version of the character, but I'm vague about what composed the bottom, which was complex, and I had not studied it closely at the time. The archaic version was simpler, and I can remember it much more distinctly. Concentrating on this inadvertently wakes me up.

      Interlude: After writing the above account and going back to bed at 8:45am, I certainly didn't intend to get lucid again, given that I've already spent a lot of time writing when I should be working, but I never want to rule it out. I ended up having several FAs, the later ones bringing on a very long bout of lucidity, in which I just wandered around exploring rather than working on specific tasks. There would still be a lot to write up but given time constraints I'll have to keep it brief. Woke for the day at 10:15.

      FA: I was in the bathroom thinking that I should make a more consistent effort to recognize those little discrepancies that might make me notice I'm dreaming, like I did in the last dream, without realizing that I was actually dreaming at that very moment.

      FA/DILD, "Trail of Smoke": I hovered for a long time on the border between sleep and waking and enjoyed observing its ambiguities. For instance, there was a point where I was convinced I was immersed in dream visuals but hearing everything perfectly accurately from waking life (I was probably wrong about this). I caught at least one FA and was pleased after my failure to catch the last one. Then a long dream followed where I was basically lucid the whole time, but also knew I wouldn't have time to write it up in much detail, so only certain episodes that were especially interesting stand out clearly in my memory. I really can't take the time to include them all here, but the last scene was worth mentioning:

      I am wandering through a dream environment typical for me, a labyrinthine enclosed public space, and having just seen someone smoking on a magazine cover, I now find myself smoking a cigarette. The smoke doesn't dissipate completely but lingers faintly in the air along the path I have walked, like that memorable scene from Donnie Darko (2001). It looks like I could potentially trace back the smoke and rediscover all the places I have visited in the course of this long dream. This makes me wonder: how big is the dream world? And the answer seems obvious: there are no boundaries, it is as big as mind itself. Standing in that world even as I recognize its boundlessness, I feel a sense of awe.

      I gaze at the glimmering smoke trails and murmur, "All the places I've been are like a trail of smoke that follows me."

      Updated 03-12-2015 at 07:59 AM by 34973

      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening , memorable
    12. Snake-Kong and the Mouth of Hell

      by , 05-28-2014 at 06:46 PM
      Okay, this is a bit of a long one with a lot of miscellaneous actions, but the really interesting parts are in red...

      I stood in a circle with a large group of people at an outdoor celebration of sorts, headed by the owner of the restaurant I work at. He spoke for a while, then we all dispersed to mingle.. however there was a colossal snake slithering around the entire time, often getting close to me. It was about twelve feet high and was extremely wide and long, with huge beady eyes. It was a mottled brown and black color. I told a couple people that I would go and meet the snake, but I knew he could smell fear and it scared me. I walked around a while, talking to DCs and avoiding the huge snake. Eventually I was outside a large tent-corridor a distance from the gathering, and the snake came through. It kept trying to come through various doors, but I would zip them up before it could enter, though I was letting it smell me so that when I came toward it, it would know me and be friendly. A DC distracted me by pointing out a comic behind the snake that I knew explained its back-story, but I couldn't see it clearly.

      The snake transformed into a massive gorilla, like King Kong. He charged through the door, grabbed me, and picked me up, taking me a distance away into the night. We spoke a while, and though I can't remember the details, I knew that by talking to me he learned about the concept of death, of which he had been blissfully unaware before. I also knew that he associated the concept with me, which made me feel threatened, though I was acting cool, calm and interesting on the surface. He wanted to show me a trick, as he had apparently spent his life forced into circus work. He threw me lightly into the air, and though I could imagine him tearing me in two with ease, he lightly caught me. I let him throw me again and relaxed myself utterly, and knew pure joy as I knew I was safe in his massive grasp. We went inside, and I was now friends with the snake-ape. There was a council of his owners. I attempted to slip past them, but they offered me a breakfast fajita, which I politely accepted. They began to talk to the proud and insolent Kong, who was newly awakened to the concepts of mortality. One of the chiefs asked, what were you talking about? I responded, we were just talking about life. Technically true, dream self, well played. The gorilla was talking about his past, perhaps his mother had been poached by the corrupt council. They attempted to assuage him with soothing, honeyed words that shuffled the blame from them. One woman turned into a bird and massaged his back with her claws, which he liked. Before I figure out the conclusion, I awoke.

      Wake, sleep, dream. I was in a classroom without a teacher. The kids were passing around bowls and bongs and getting ripped, myself included. Then, authority figures entered and demanded we register our drugs, mainly acid, as weed was still illegal. I kept the bubbler I had hidden under a blanket.

      I was home again, and my mother left, exhorting me to be moral. I got in a car with some friends and went to a hill near my house to smoke the ganja I had left over from the classroom. We went into a massive trailer and sat in a circle. A couple other friends came in, along with a guy who must have lived there, then they left to go adventuring. I sat and smoked a bit, got bored and left. I came across a group of women playing volleyball in an empty swimming pool, and saw others climbing pine trees. The hill was well populated. I walked down to the university gym and saw more girls playing volleyball, and some guys playing a game. There was food on the sidelines and many morbidly obese players.

      Next, I was at a camp or retreat of some sort. We were all hanging out and I was acting a clown, cracking jokes and goofing off. I went to the bathroom, walked in and cleaned a urinal, then walked out. Turned out I was in the ladies restroom! A couple guys followed after me, too. A tall, extremely beautiful woman came up and laughed about the mix-up, and I told her she now had to use the guys, because it was all mixed up. She had writing on her lips. I offered to kiss her, but she asked, right or left? I said, right, and presented my right cheek for her to kiss. Later, we played a game like hide and seek. I decided to hide in a box, but couldn't decide between one or the other side of the room, so I didn't have time to get the box closed, and was immediately caught.

      I'm in a magnificent cathedral. I'm with someone, and see a friend about to go play a guitar onstage, and he waves at me. A priest walks up to me, and asks, are you confident?to which I simply say, yes.He leads me to a wall. There is a small, tight mouth, an opening, on the bottom of it, covered in runes and glyphs, wrought in beautiful stone work and pouring out red and orange. It looks like the mouth of Hell. He says something to the effect of, it's good you're confident, you'll need it, or we'll see, I can't remember. I barely fit in the gap, and began a slow facedown descent, using hand-holds on the passage to keep myself from tumbling. I see two scorpions, and wonder, why am I down here? I'm not even Catholic. After a while of indecision, I exit into sunlight and fresh air. Another priest stands there and asks, what you doing? The real challenges are ahead, you must face your demons.I pathetically say I need shoes, look down and I'm wearing them. He extols me to have courage and continue, so I go back into the mouth, down, down, down. I'm on a stair case that's unbelievably cramped, with hundreds of even tinier scorpions that I run over, worrying that one is in my shirt. I'm now in a dark, quiet and misty stone corridor bathed in glowing white and blue. I enter a room to the right, and find myself looking at two animal spirits floating over stone wells. One I can't access, but the other purports to be a mirror of the soul, and speaks proudly and with disdain. From a third person perspective, it consumed me, and I now look like Harry Potter. It was all fire within, and he discussed a Reformation of sorts. Whether the historical one, or a personal one, I don't know.

      Then, there's my brother next to me. He has a beautiful amulet and he gives it to me to help me. I thank him, and awaken.
    13. My life in one walk

      by , 04-05-2014 at 03:13 PM
      The dream begins inside my house, by the front door. I am scared to go outside, slightly apprehensive, but i long to feel the fresh cool air on my skin.

      My blonde hair frames the scene, and i notice my sleeves and arms more than any other part of me, i appear to be wearing my turquoise H&M top. Eventually i slowly open the door and take a step outside into the cool early morning air. The door opens up to a sideroad very close by*, and i slowly begin to walk out into the twilight morning, slightly covered in mist, with a pale blue hue everywhere.


      I move away from the house, never looking back, but i can feel water in my eyes welling up for some reason, so i search myself for some tissue, noticing that now i am wearing a completely different top but thinking to myself It's warmer than my other top. I am now wearing a black pvc blouse which i bought a while back for a photoshoot.

      I forget the tissue and my eyes seem normal now, and i continue walking down that side road, looking to my right all the time, and noticing a nearby compost heap, which for some reason has smoke billowing from it, but the smoke never reaching very far up in the sky, it appears to fade mere feet above the compost heap, which now has flames and a few bits of wood as expected.

      Suddenly i am behind some garages nearby, and i head to my garage where i keep my car and I find several garage doors open, as well as my own, but my car is in there, my old Nova**. Its doors are open and my clothing has been ransacked***!

      I then notice a door which i had never seen before, at the back of the garage, through it i can see the inside of someones house.

      Suddenly i am inside this house, looking out of the window at a scene unfamiliar to me, and it is night time, and there is someone standing under a street lamp with a bag in their hand. My perspective shifts and i am now viewing this from the other direction, and outside, and the house i was once in now appears to be a hospital, with a multi story carpark next to it. I know this place, it was the hospital i spent much time in as a child.

      Now i am that person standing outside, and with me is a small tan coloured dog, not the dog from my childhood, but one very familiar, and sympathetic, as the dog looks up at me and wags his tail as his face forms that of a smile, reassuring and honest.

      Nothing much after this aside from hazy memories of shopping, seeing my friend Stephen briefly, and being back home.

      * In the dream the front of my house seemingly flipped 45 degrees facing west, and 100 feet down the road.

      ** The Nova was my first car and i locked it in these secure garages at night time, never once got broken into.

      *** Before i came out, i kept female clothing in my car to change into and i was eternally worried that someone might break in and find them.

      This dream occured about two weeks ago, worth mentioning if only for the personal insight it offers me of myself. Everything ties up here, though the compost heap thing is weird, its my second dream in as many weeks to feature a compost heap.

      I thought i would create an image of the dream, crafted in photoshop of 3 seperate images, one i borrowed from the internets, and 2 of my own, the scene itself and me. I cannot possibly say if i wore high heels when outside, or inside, but i usually do in reality so i assume i do in dreamland.
    14. feminist IT class morph into Salomonic solution to one sticker issue

      by , 05-07-2013 at 11:53 PM
      I recalled this dream upon awakening at 6am:

      In this dream I took an iT class. The instructor was a feminist, and I was her favorite student.

      I befriended a male fellow student, and during breaks we would go to restaurants together. he was color blind, and could not tell green and blue apart. After the final day of the course was over, he said he could not join me at a restaurant because he had other plans. I followed him for a while, but then gave up, and found a restaurant of my own to dine in.

      There was too much cigarette smoke. I sat down. A little girl sat down next to me. She had a binder of art supplies, so I showed her that I also had an art supplies binder much like hers. Another girl came. She stood there next to us. She noticed a really cool sticker that was kind of 3D lying on the bench beside me. The new girl wanted to have the sticker. And the girl sitting next to me wanted it too. But there was only one sticker.

      I contemplated whether to tell them that neither of them could have it because it was probably forgotten there by some other little girl who might return for it. Or whether to use Salomon's solution: suggest that we divide the cool sticker in half, and see whether either girl is willing to part with the entire sticker rather than to distort it by dividing it.


      I could have sworn I remembered another dream at same time upon wake up, but it disappeared.

      Side note: That last part of the dream made me smile because it is about such a typical parenting dilemma. I've got two boys not two girls, and in the dream the girls were not supposed to be mine, but this situation is one that as a parent I have encountered many a time: there is only one and of course both want it.

      Updated 05-07-2013 at 11:58 PM by 61501

      non-lucid , memorable
    15. Halloween Car Fire

      by , 04-21-2013 at 07:38 PM
      It was Halloween.
      I think I was moving house?
      Me, my Dad, and my sister where in the Merlo. (dad's old tractor)
      Going to pick up what we thought was an old car, it was mum's current car for some reason.
      Got there.
      Tried to pick up the car in the Merlo.
      Walked around the village.
      Saw people from my school.
      There was smoke everywhere. (It was like fog)
      I was trying to scare people.
      Went back to old car. (now looked like 30's era car)
      It was on fire.
      I tried to blow out the fires by blowing on them.
      The fire started spreading more.
      I tried to blow out all of the flames.
      Pulled old photos, videos and cassettes out of the glove box.
      There was suddenly a middle agedwoman watching.
      She wasn't helping.
      She said that she was scared because it was dark so she was just watching us, we all started laughing, she started drinking wine.
      The tire melted on the car.
      The whole car was ruined.


      Updated 04-21-2013 at 08:13 PM by 62566

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