• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Lego Biplane

      by , 07-09-2018 at 02:11 PM
      Morning of July 9, 2018. Monday.

      I am in our present home in my dream, though which seems rotated from north to west, perpendicular to its real location on the corner (intersection).

      Our youngest son is building a biplane from Lego. However, when I look again, it seems he has changed it so that it is now a building. He is sitting on our youngest daughter’s bed (where he had slept temporarily). I puzzle over this. I visualize the Lego biplane as being vertical and upright, but then consider that I may have only been looking at the “skeletal” foundation of the building (even though it was an actual transformation typical of the dream state).

      This dream is based on very common (an average of more than once per sleep cycle) anticipatory autosymbolism for vestibular system correlation. This does not always result in actual “flight” or a direct change in physicality upon waking (such as a hypnopompic kick or common falling sensation). In this case, with the bed as the literal dream state indicator, with an airplane autosymbolism for physicality in regard to VSC, it simply represents standing up after getting out of bed, though is also an association with our youngest son sometimes standing on this same bed in reality.

      Some previous (posted online) dreams in which a biplane or biplane hang glider has featured include:

      Biplane Hang Glider Mishap, February 27, 2016

      Biplane in my Pillow, April 4, 2012

      Water from a Biplane, December 20, 2010

      Biplane Directive, January 2, 1972

      They are not as common as other flight symbols (that is, dream state contemporaneous symbolism of VSC, which is usually unrelated to waking life), such as helicopters, of which have featured in hundreds of my dreams since childhood, some featured in my entry “40 Helicopter Dreams”, posted on May 20, 2018.

    2. Wednesday, May 30 - The Child

      by , 06-04-2018 at 04:29 AM
      I have a child. This child is a newborn, though I’m not sure who birthed it. It almost seems as though it was not birthed, but rather simply came into existence. It almost seems that I ‘birthed’ it, by no literal means of the word, only that it’s existence came to be only through myself. Regardless of origins, I am holding it, with its small naked body and longer, black hair. There must have been some gestation period though, as I was assuming this child was a girl. But now it is being made known to me that the child is male. As I hold him, my reaction is a quiet yet jubilant “hell yes!” I am warm and content in the satisfaction of having a son. Later, I am apprehensive in the realization that I still have to work full work-weeks and slightly saddened and embarrassed that I still reside at home.
      Tags: birth, boy, child, son
    3. My Triffid Son

      by , 02-14-2017 at 08:14 AM
      Morning of February 14, 2017. Tuesday.

      I somehow have a watermelon seed embedded near my left ear. Part of it is still visible. I do not think it will cause too much trouble, though it does get bigger and green leaves eventually appear on the left side of my face.

      However, it is not a watermelon plant, but a Triffid. He is my son. He has eaten a number of people by my dream’s last segment, but I believe he will mostly be okay in human society with his Triffid ways.

      Other dreams of this date previously posted: “A Lot of Balls in the Front Yard” and “Lollipops”. My (non-lucid) dream self rarely has any clue to what year it is let alone the date, but there are sometimes residual memories of holidays. There seems to be evidence here with all three dreams thus far posted (of February 14, 2017) of associations with either Easter or Valentine’s Day. “A Lot of Balls in the Front Yard” seems more associated with Easter, as there are a lot of what may be transparent eggs (or rubber balls?) in the front yard, though possibly frog’s eggs. Candy can be associated with Easter but also Valentine’s Day as well as flowers or lilies for either holiday, though Triffids are like lilies, so more of an Easter association, I think. It is as if my dream self subliminally “knows” there is a holiday, but not which one.

      There is an amusing detail about my “Lollipops” dream though, regarding people who think they can understand other people’s dreams without even knowing or understanding what a dream actually is. In this case, a person tried to “interpret” an actual dynamic of my environment that I had not indicated was as such - meaning, there was a real mouse in our bed, which is partly what triggered that dream, which of course they could not have known.

      The inherent truth behind this dream is that, before I came to Australia and married my lovely dream girl Zsuzsanna, her mother (who is “disturbed” to put it nicely) sent me a peace lily. This distorted with the “day of love” (Valentine’s Day) relating to my happiness with Zsuzsanna (and our first son) but also with the science-fiction eeriness of “Day of the Triffids” and the lily association with Easter. You see, only I could know this, and only I can “interpret” my dreams (though the core meanings and distortions behind dreams is more of the dynamics of the dream state, not waking life, other than with literal prescience). The watermelon seed association is also personally relevant to my more distant past, though I will not get into it here.

      Updated 09-23-2017 at 09:00 AM by 1390

    4. Special Lucid Dream :)

      by , 11-21-2016 at 11:07 PM
      20th November 2016

      Just a quick entry…

      (private part of lucid)

      I walk up to a DC that I take to be my wife as a toddler!

      I go to pick her up and she becomes an infant that I hold in my left arm and call my son over.

      My son is now an infant laying on a surface and I cusp his cheeks in my hands and I am amazed at how real he feels and it feels like I am experiencing him as a infant once again! Very special experience!
    5. Competition night 3

      by , 04-13-2016 at 01:01 PM
      I was really tired last night, for no special reason. I tried to read while my husband was watching a soccer match, but I kept dosing off. Went to bed at 21.45!

      Woke up at 3.20 with a fragment on my mind. Maybe it wasn't even a dream fragment, but that would make it a really strange thought, so I'm going to count it as a fragment.

      Fragment 1: All my dreams from the period of sleep that I just woke from were on a wooden cutting board. I tilted it and with my big knife I pushed them off, straight into my DJ…

      I went straight back to sleep, too tired to do a WBTB and woke up at 6.15 remembering:

      The bishop
      My father, mother, me and ? arrive by bike at a big sports hall. Apparently we'll be visiting the celebration of a jubilee of an African bishop in there. We put our bikes in the designated outside area for bikes. Once inside the hall I take part in a workshop for "upcycling" (making something new and better out off used garments) clothes. I make myself a wide cream coloured, two layered top with a dark brown edge along the neckline. When I'm ready I start looking for my father and mother. I push through the crowd, some people recognize me and compliment me on my blouse. Proudly I tell them that I made it myself, without a pattern, just like that. A young woman thinks it's too big. I shrug my shoulders. What do you want, first time ever, without help…
      I want to leave and find out that my parents have already left. I wonder if they would have left my bike there. There are a lot of bikes there but I don't recognize mine. I grab a ladies bike that is not locked and cycle of to the right, into town. After going for a while I decide that it's not right and I return to where I came from. I put the bike back, next to a woman (who looks like Marion that I met in the village last Sunday morning) is putting hers away. The two bikes lean against each other and she says; "Be careful now, don't touch them anymore". Together we walk towards the buildings. "To go to Brandons you have to go straight here and turn right later on" she says, pointing at the apartment buildings far away. "That's not where I'm going" I say to her and go in the direction of the sports hall. "Oh", she says "for Randen it's in there". I think she's full of nonsense and go inside. I move through the crowd until I find a group that includes my aunt Nelly and her daughter Anita. I talk to them for a bit until I see my dad. He's carrying a cotton bag and takes out a pair of pink pants so that I can get changed. I tell him that I want to say goodbye to the bishop before we go. The bishop is a big black man. He's "dressed" in a shiny, wooden case, only his head sticks out. It's a bit like a coffin, but the form is more rounded. He's standing up, watching a movie (?) that's being projected on a screen. There is a big case filled with boxes that contain parts of the movie. I guess that this is the present he's had. I say goodbye to him. He says that he's very happy that I came and he puts his hand on my head as a blessing gesture.

      When I wake up next at 8.30 I remember 3 fragments, of which two are from the same dream:

      Fragment 2: Don't do that….. I'm sure you will not be able to get all of it back!

      Fragment 3: My dad, his wife, me, my husband and our youngest son are in a room together. My son is sitting in the corner of a sofa and preparing himself a smoke. I say to my husband, "The boy is only 15, are you okay with that?" He shrugs his shoulders. I'm angry, I grab my stuff and leave. I'm annoyed with myself, I've got nowhere to go, I haven't got the key to the car, or our house. I should have tried to find a solution instead of running off.

      Fragment 4: My dad's wife is not feeling well. I want to leave and that's what I do. Just a bit later I see my dad and his wife following me. He's sort of dragging her along because she's feeling really bad. When they get to where I am my dad starts climbing on top of something and she lies down on the side of the road. I say to her that I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to do this to her, she could have stayed at home.
    6. Breakroom

      by , 11-27-2015 at 02:01 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #479 - DILD - 7:38AM

      I've had a little bit of a dry spell lately with work being so crazy so it was nice to get to sleep in today and get a solid LD. Dry spells suck! It's weird that my old bathroom dream sign brings me lucidity once again.

      I notice that peeing doesn't relieve my need to go so I lucidly try to make my son fly then I play with breaking glass.
      A have a somewhat vague memory of a DEILD or in-dream-WILD. I feel my body is dream-like and I relax, letting myself merge into that familiar other. I have a hard time separating then spend a few moments wondering around the house I am in. My memory fades....

      I am wandering around work with my son worried about some prophecy that I am "TO DO GREAT THINGS". I worry that I am not up to the task and that I am just a regular guy. I walk along the walkway and move into the bathroom. I have to pee really bad, but when I pee at the urinal my need doesn't go away. I try again and pee just as much. I recall having a non lucid dream earlier in the night about weird pee situations (truth) and think this must be the same type of dream. I am already lucid now, but I do a nose plug just to be sure. Yep. I leave the bathroom and rejoin my son.

      There is a catwalk about the main production area with offices and cubical that open to the area. I toss my son up there hoping he will start flying around the shop. As I toss him up I shout, "HEY YOU CAN FLY!" He just lands on the up level. I rush up stairs and find him just sitting there. I say, "Common. You can fly. Just do it." I trow him up again, but he just lands hard and seems like he is in some vegetative state. The sight of him like that is disturbing so I move on.

      I quickly recall my goal to make glass break control the shards with mind power. I rush to the break-room where I know there is a large glass window. I am happy to be at work because this is actually how I got the idea for this task. I stare at the window and it cracks all over but doesn't fall out. I make hand motions and point for the shards to fly out but the don't. I stand more directly in front of the broken glass and force it to fly out. I see a million tiny shards of glass float all around me like snow. It's all I can see for a moment then it fades away to the window still intact, but still shattered. I don't get annoyed, but play with it another way by forcing my face into it. The glass resists and stretches way out until I phase through. Instead of being in the break-room I am now in some small area with a door leading outside. I heard a voice and knocking. I say, "Who's there?"
      The voice replies, "Steve, Mary, Sam, I mean, Samantha."
      The voice seems to be a liar and I don't trust it. I sense something ominous there. I say, "Well, you're not coming it. You're never coming in." I turn away and begin walking when I wake up.

    7. Trampoline Fun

      by , 10-05-2015 at 10:37 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #470 - DEILD - 12:07AM

      I wake up slightly, but have enough mindfulness to try to DEILD. It's pretty dark at first and I spend a lot of time making walking motions with my goal as my mantra (Jump on the trampoline). When the walking feels vivid enough, I decide to clap my hands and slap my face as hard as I can. There is a dull sound and tingling sensation upon impact. I now move on to my goal and imagine myself jumping on the trampoline in my back yard. The view of my backyard quickly fills in, but it's still really dark. I don't like this bother and I begin to jump extra high. The sensation of falling back down gets my stomach at first and I have to try really hard not to let it bother me. I notice how high I get as I watch the roofs of houses falls below me. After a few moments I get bored with this and latch on to an impossibly tall tree and climb up. I can clearly see limbs and bright greens leave as I make my way higher and higher. I see another tree close by and I decide to jump over to that one then swing down by hanging on the end of a long thin branch.
      My brother is standing on the ground looking at me. "How did you do that?", he asks.
      What does he mean doesn't he know this is a dream? I answer, "I'm just like a squirrel. It works the same way."

      I am now standing in the main room of my house and I see my son smiling at me. I leap up and kick of a near wall to glide over him. I imagine flying is a lot like swimming as I swim all around the room like its a pool. My son chases me smiling and laughing and I get a chuckle out of it. For some reason I want my brother to see this and I decide to look for him in the kitchen, but he is no where to be found. Then, I become afraid that I will lose the recall of this dream so I decide to wake up.

      I quickly record my dream and suddenly feel myself sinking back into that half dream zone.

      I find myself wondering around some version of my house with my son. A set of non-existent stairs appear and we climb up them together. I am really curious what I will find, but I suddenly wake up again. I totally forgot that I had put my knees up while recording in my DJ and my left leg had flopped over, waking me up.

      I only have recall of one other non lucid dream for the night. It was like a movie and these boys had entered into a cartoon world. They tried to find a solution to the problem.
    8. May 21st 2015: Sex, Consoling Crying Girl, Astronaut Pilot, Becoming Tree

      by , 05-22-2015 at 12:23 AM
      Thu, 21 May 2015:
      1st feel transitioned to dream but float to confirm. Slow! Yes. Darkish. Wife gets out of bed and goes to toilet. I wonder if she did in waking and go in front of toilet and dance around to see if I get a reaction. Not really but she looks up and either she has no face or it is blurred and hard to make out. Shortly after back in bed needing to turn over.

      Later after a WBTB, I get comfortable.
      I feel I have transitioned again but when I make a small move to get out of bed it feels like I risk moving my waking body and waking up. I try to float again but nothing and then I mentally push my whole body towards the right front corner of my bad and my dream by jumps up on to the corner of the bed! I walk out of the room this time and out to the loft

      and I think about my day time visualization: floating up and then over the loft and I do. I float down to the landing or ledge where we could display items but we don't. From there I float down to the floor. I get some audio of my son asking me what I'm doing but I know it's just from the dream I head to front door and I walk out. Before I walk out I can hear what sounds like a crowd of people outside and I like that I will be able to walk through the crowd and pick out some beautiful DC's! as I walk out there is a crowd and I find one girl.
      Spoiler for sexual content:
      and then I think how I wanted and planned to go about things like this more consensually. I cross the street and there are 3 women wearing choir robes like you might see in church. I think about the church connection but continue over there with my dirty intentions. I look at them with the look that I know they all want a piece of me and one by one they go to work
      Spoiler for sexual content:
      and there's a little girl nearby that approaches and starts crying. I decided I had enough and switched to consoling her. I no longer felt like I was naked but neither did I put on any clothes or really consider this. I tried to commit to memory what she was saying as she was crying but that part is gone. She hugs me back as she cries.

      I walked back to the other side of the street and there was another woman crying a little more gently, whereas the girl was more sobbing. I was going through the dream details in my head to better commit them to memory when I felt what was a false awakening but I wasn't sure at first. I was back in my bed and my wife was playfully touching my arm but then started tickling me under my arm and I kind of moan like she is going to wake me up but I tried to feel if I was still asleep and decided that indeed I was. I did an in dream wild again (like earlier in the month) closing my dream eyes until a new scene forms through my closed dream eyes or maybe I open them up gently but either way I was in a long room not very wide but plenty of space. There were a number of pieces of equipment to the end of the room in front of me and this pilot or astronaut in a suit

      like a pressure suit and there was a small one man rocket or flight craft that was warming up its' engines

      and pointing towards the ceiling though there wasn't really a ceiling or a sky but mind you this all felt very indoors. he gets down from the rocket contraption having started the warm up process and is talking to me and something in my head makes me wonder what they wear under that suit and he hears my thoughts and unzips his outfit and shows me that he is naked underneath. I see his penis and everything. he's zips it back up and continues to prepare. I look back towards the part of the room I was in before that was basically behind me when I was facing the astronaut guy and my son is sitting and doing his studies and back towards where the astronaut was there is now a TV and something risque is on TV. it seems to be some r-rated version of MTV where some chunky lady is walking around without a top on. I start to lose a little lucidity here as I wonder if we should change the channel but after a bit I realized it doesn't matter regaining some lucidity. I start thinking about how it seems like the scene is going on for a long time and I start thinking about my goals. I jump to memory peg number 5 and after a bit of a scene fade I find myself standing over my wife

      who is sitting in a chair in our dining room. number 5 is the smell task of the month and I remember how I smelled her hair earlier in the day freshly washed with a nice scent to it and the dream seems to replicate the scent but it was a little more faint almost as if the dream accounted for the time that has passed since the fresh washing of the hair. I then think about how I reset memory peg number 2 back to the lucid dare to become a tree and I start stretching out my arms like the branches of the tree and my feet down like the roots and I get the sensation of my torso and arms growing and expanding upwards

      but I'm not too sure how much of a tree I became with no mirror around. I then thought of memory peg number 6 and this is the talking to the monster under your bed for task of the month. I decide that there is a bed just ahead and I walk that way but I don't see one and the dream is fading a bit and I decide that I will just arrive back in bed, my dream bed and then I can get out of bed and talk to the monster from there but it doesn't work
      and I soon find myself back in my actual bed needing to urinate but I stay still and try to reenter the dream but eventually realize I am too wake and need to relieve myself before trying anything else. when I go back to bed I do get a lot of great visualisations that seem to take legs which like in my previous LD aftermath several days ago I wondered if I might be in a dream state with the amount of effect I have over what seems like HH's. very long lucid series! 8 milligrams of G + 500 milligrams of choline. #326 & 327
    9. Repugnance

      by , 03-22-2015 at 03:39 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #426 - DILD - 8:08AM

      WBTB coffee induced several vivid dreams most of which I forgot. I had very little wakefulness and ended the morning with a DILD.

      I am at my son's birthday party, but as I enter the room, I see I am at my ex-in-law's house. Ex-wife's brother nods and says, "What's up." I reply politely then step outside. I can't be here. I am pissed of that we are doing this here, but rather than make a scene I decide to leave. I decide to make up for my absence by getting my son an extra gift.

      I drive someplace in bad winter wx— which is dumb because his birthday is in the summer. I walk into a store feeling sleet hit my face. I walk around looking at various things. I see a guy that I work with IWL that I really try to avoid at all costs. I skirt around to avoid him and make my way to the front door. One of his twin sons tackle the back of my legs, making me fall. I'm pissed and want to teach the kid a lesson so I pinch his arm. He's cries and runs off to his dad and I make a bee-line to the door. I half expect a confrontation and I keep thinking what I will say. "You wanna throw down? Knuckle up bitch!" I'd never say that IWL.

      No one comes after me and when I step outside, I remember that I am sleeping in bed and become lucid. I immediately think that I should really start having clear goals lined up because I have no idea what to do now. I see my car parked in front of me with small amounts of ice and sleet accumulated on it. The Dodge Journey looks more like a Charger now, but I ignore this as dream inconsistencies. I recall the mirror TOTM and try to make one of the windows a mirror. I say some nonsense incantation and wave my arms, but nothing happens. I see some sort of white sheet in the back seat and think it would be fun to use that as a focal point as I phase through the glass feet first. I jump in smoothly, but when I look up from the sheets, I feel vertigo and the dream blacks out. I stabilize by feeling the sides of the fronts seats with both hands. It's a sensation like wet hands on leather. There's a low squeaking sound to accommodate. I almost catch a vision of the seats, but it quickly morphs into my laptop keyboard. I go with the flow and start typing. I look up at the screen and see "www.microsoft.com.comcomcomcom" in the browser's nav bar. I hit enter and a cheesy fireplace screensaver pops up. Then the flame engulfs the entire screen and I laugh at the irony, "Hahahaha! That's really funny." I have a tendency to really dislike Microsoft products though I am usually forced to use them. This totally goes with the theme of this dream. The dream quickly fades and I wake up.

      Blimp NLD - Time?

      I am riding in the car with my mother down a highway that cuts thought a dense forested area. A large whale shaped blimp lands in the road ahead of us. I take a snapchat and fire shoots out the back of it and it flies away. I want to redo the snapchat because I didn't get a good shot. We pass under and I take a video out the back window. I am laughing at the crazy blimp, but my laughter turns to cries of dismay as the blimp explodes. I am sad at the lives lost. I am amazed that I got that on video, but my snapchat only plays back a selfie video of my reaction and not of the blimp.
    10. Going For A Swim

      by , 02-16-2015 at 12:20 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #412 - DILD - 6:35AM

      I am walking up a hill with my younger daughter and son. For some reason I am going to some apartments to take a swim. I tell myself that if I am going to live here, I need to figure out how to park on the other side so I don't have to walk so far all the time. Some triggers semi-lucidity and the walk up the hill feels hard and slow. I realize that this is all a mental thing and tell myself to just pretend that it's all super easy and it will be. It works for a second and gets difficult again at the last few steps.

      I am inside the apartment but it all looks really odd. I feel this is normal for a dream so I let it go and try to ignore it. I have my son in my arms and for some reason think I need to put him down for a nap. There is a door way that I think leads to his bedroom, but when I open it, it is just a broom closet. I know this is all pointless so I unceremoniously toss my son into the darkest part of the closet and walk way. I feel a mental tug to do it right, but I don't want to get caught up in mundane tasks in a dream. I am still really caught up in going swimming so I try to find the back door. As I make my way outside, I pass though some tiny kitchen that I recognize to look like a small version of the duplex I used to live in.

      Outside, my lucidity raises as I look around for a pool. I see an above ground pool to the right, but quickly reject that. I look to the left and see my younger daughter jumping into a large in-ground pool. Excited, I run and jump and yell, "JEEEERRRONIMOOOOO!", as I belly flop into the pool. As I make impact I worry that my vision will get distorted and I end up in the void. Of course, this thought manifests as I see a blur of blue and air bubbles and the dream fades.

      The lights come on and I wake up with my son in the bed with me and my wife. He's crying and some liquid has pooled up all over the sheets. Not sure if he peed out of his diaper, I ask, "Why is everything so wet?"
      My wife just says, "He's been crying." I realize that there is no way a kid can tear up that much and remember that I was just now dreaming that I was swimming. The lights do out and I roll over and make swimming motions in the dark until I reach my wife. I start kissing her and decide maybe some sexy-time would be nice. The light returns and my wife stops me. She asks, "Right now? [in front of R?]
      I tell her that it doesn't matter [in a dream]. We continue to enjoy each other, but I wake up before we get very far.

      Updated 02-16-2015 at 12:42 AM by 5967

    11. Half Pegasus

      by , 02-08-2015 at 10:17 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #408- DEILD - 4:45AM

      Quick WBTB. Galantamine and DMAE.

      I wake slightly and enter vibration and have my usual SP time. I can't get anywhere so I decide to just enjoy the moment. I relax and begin to feel myself float then, slip off the bed. I watch as a fall deep into a void in the floor. I can see my bedside getting smaller and smaller. I fall fast for a long time. I wonder if I will pop out on the other side of the earth. At that thought, I feel gravity shift and I start to fall up. This doesn't last long and I land back in bed. I relax and focus while remaining thoughtless.

      I am now walking in the living room. I am glad the dream has started and make my way outside. My son is in the room and presses against me to be picked up. I decide it would be fun to take him along with me. He feels cumbersome to carry so I just imagine that he is somehow attached to me and continue on without worrying too much about actually carrying him.

      It's rainy outside and looks like early dawn. I walk into the street and remember that I was going to go for the Pegasus TOTY. I call out for Pegasus and look around expectantly. Nothing shows up so I turn around to think about something else. I see my son has been trailing behind me and I get an idea. I say, "R, be Pegasus." as I hop on his back. He's on all fours but nothing is happening. I feel bad at this sight, so I stand up and take a less rushed approach. I say, "R, turn now into Pegasus." I watch as he quickly morphs into only the front half of a white stallion. He's just a horse head with front legs. This is a horrible sight and look away for a quick second. This was a bad idea because when I turn back to look, he has vanished. I spin around trying to see if he walked around me, but he is nowhere to be found. I quietly whisper, "Shit." I decide to forget about it the whole thing as I look at the colorful dawn in on the horizon just above the trees. I decide to fly without much thought and I zoom toward the sunrise at an amazing speed. I can hear the wind rushing in my ears as the dream collapses

      I am back in SP and vibrations. This time the sound of it so strange and creepy. It' like demonic children shrieking in either anger or agony. Before fear can get the best of me I decide to let it go and not focus on SP or vibes or anything else. I remind myself that SP is not the goal and I quickly fall into mediation for a moment. My awareness doesn't fade but I feel my body come back into the waking world. I feel like I could go back in, but I decide I should try to DJ before I fall into non lucid sleep.

      Updated 02-08-2015 at 11:02 PM by 5967

      lucid , task of the year
    12. Hyenas

      by , 02-08-2015 at 09:51 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #407 - DILD? - 3:08AM (pre-WBTB)

      I am in some public restroom. My wife(?), son, and someone I know is sitting at a table in one corner. At the urinals I see some young girls peeing. I wonder how this is possible and suppose they are using a shewee. Then, I realize that is highly improbable and I continue this continues to boggle my mind. I point and say, "What the fuck!?"
      My son chimes in and replies, "...it's like a dick." I am even more surprised at my son's remark.

      I am getting into bed with my wife and tell her about what my son said. I make some remark about how weird it is that I watched little girls peeing. I assure I wasn't trying to be a creeper; they just went in front of me. My son won't stay in bed and is running around and keeps pull out stuff to play with. Something about a movie that came with a bullet. He wants to shoot it but I tell him it's late and I really need to sleep (I want to have my G night).

      I have a FA and I find myself in a house with three wild hyenas. I try to stay on top of counters and furniture but they jump up at me and scratch with cat claws. I notice that as the jump and scratch they seem to momentarily transform into Raccoon dogs. There is some pain, but it doesn't feel unbearable. I continue to try to avoid the hyenas, but they seem to be learning and adapting to my strategy. I have a high amount of fear as I fight them off with fists. At one point I watch one hyena on the ground as it seems to be studying me. Then I realize it's watching something behind me. I know I am about to get pounced from behind, but I can't make myself move.

      Something strange happens here. Maybe it's a dream transition or a very slight awakening, but everything collapses and I wonder why I didn't just fly away or phase out of a window in the dream. As I am thinking this is see a garage door open and I rush outside into the night. I worry that the hyenas got out too but I try not to think about it. I see a parked car and I jump on top of the roof. "Try to get me now, bitches!", I shout at things that were after me. I begin to wonder why I am having such a terrible nightmare. I usually don't get nightmares, but tend to enjoy a little fright. As I think this, the dream fades to darkness. At this, I regain lucidity and focus on vision to bring it back.

      I see a white boxy type of car parked in the driveway now. It has some sort of metallic purple window tinting and I find it interesting. I still feel a need to escape so I attempt to get inside. I notice there are no doors so I instinctively lift the small cabin up and off like a shoe box. I look inside the top but can't see out the purple windshield. I will this to happen and the purple dissolves to show a view at the ground. I lose interest in this this vehicle quickly as everything seems to be really crappy and fake now.

      I spot a better looking car next to me; a red sporty coupe. As I move to the car I worry about the hyenas again. I tell myself not to think about it and the fear subsides, but my actions are still rushed. For some reason both doors want to stay open and the worry increases. I look out and see a bear with a hyena looking at me from down the road. I quickly get the doors closed and start to back out. I stop when I hear a terrible sound. They white, boxy car is now a small red truck. It's lurching backward and quickly halting as the tires are locked up. For some reason, I feel the need to take care of this and hop out of the car to the truck. The hyena fear returns and this time I really force it out of my mind as I remind myself that I control this dream. The truck stopped doing whatever it was doing and I suddenly become really curious what the engine would look like. I lift up the hood and notice how clean, new and high tech it looks. I begin guessing at various components naming them off. I am particularly interested in what I think might be the nitrous oxide containment. I get bored with this after a moment and begin to try to recall my goal for the night. It's on the tip of my brain, but the more I think about it, the more I wake up. The dream fades and I see some guy say something about waking up then a sheet of ice forms over my vision. I hear a loud cracking sound as I wake up.
    13. Letting Go

      by , 12-24-2014 at 06:24 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #394 - DILD - 5:55AM

      I am walking in the street with someone. We watch a strange looking UFO fly down and hover over someone. Then, in a flash of light, they disappear. I say to the person how amazing this is. I just can't believe I witnessed a UFO abduction right in the middle of downtown. I notice how everything turned from night to daytime really quickly and I feel like I am missing something important. My thought is interrupted by someone ushering me into a building. [Something] happens inside and then we are ushered out. When I turn around, the building dissolves into my old house; the first one I bought with my ex-wife. Someone tells me everything (the UFO abduction and building) was just holograms an illusions. I laugh that I got punked so hard and watch the next person get it. Things happen differently this time and the 'abductee' walks down the street toward the building. I follow closely behind the hologram and laugh with my 'friend' as I watch my hand pass into it. It's like a ghost but the more I play with it the more solid it becomes. I think maybe the hologram passed over an actual person. I only recall random and fleeting images next (sexy time with wife?), but I somehow end up in that old house talking to my wife.

      I wonder why we decided to buy this house. I really don't want to live here after-all. Then I quickly recall that I have had this exact dream before. As I nose plug, my wife is telling me something. I am not listing because I am trying to make sense of why I feel like I am slightly blowing through. Am I really dreaming? I do several more nose plugs, but the last one is more deliberate and I blow cleanly through. I am dreaming! I don't want to be here at all so I immediately leave my wife and head out the back door. As I cross the yard, I feel guilty for just running off. I wonder if there is something important there that I should resolve. I pull myself over a privacy fence and, for fun, climb a tree. I see my old neighbors house and try peaking in the window. I wonder if they would recognize me if they saw me. Ridiculous. I ponder the house issue while up there. I admit that I did enjoy some memories living in that house and I do miss it in a way. I decide to climb down and resolve this. There is a long winding limb the leads down to the trunk of the tree and I enjoy extra upper arm strength as I move along it like a monkey. I jump down and float toward the street in the front. Someone is growing beans along the road and I have to step over them. I find this curious, but decide to ignore it.

      I get down the street and see the house. It now looks like every window has been removed. I can see bare 2X4s and insulation around the edges. I feel like there is some meaning here, but I can't imagine what it is. I enter the house, determined to play this dream out. I act like I am considering buying this house a second time. I begin looking things over, forgetting about the windows already. I notice the laminate wood flooring is still there and looks really nice. I move down the hall and see my wife and son. I pass them and enter the front bathroom. In waking life, I installed ceramic tile over concrete slab, but here there is several layers of linoleum over plywood. I can see a lot of water damage around the bathtub as I peel the edges back. In fact, the wood feels soft and moist even now. My son gets in the way of what I am doing and I have to move him out of the way. I stop and ponder things now. I decide this house really isn't so great after-all and the emotions I get from it feel resolved. It's time to let this place go. Feeling like I accomplished something, I get up and head outside while my wife and son follow behind. I feel like I have been dreaming a really long time now, and consider waking myself up so I won't forget things. I really think I could wake up at will, but it's been a long time since I have had a nice long lucid so I decide to leave it alone for now.

      I see our Nissan down the street and tell my wife that I will race her. I hope she agrees because I know that I am still dreaming and I will impress her with my ability to teleport. She nods and I let it happen. There is a surging streak of light and color and I find myself sitting in the car. Unfortunately, it's not a complete teleport because, I can see two realities. Yes, I am sitting in the car but I can also see the place that I was standing layered over. I look over at my wife standing next to me and this brings me completely back to start. I stand up, feeling a little embarrassed. As we resume walking to the car, I tell her how I almost teleported and ask her what it all that looked like to her.
      She just says, "It looked really weird."
      I nod and say, "I bet it did. I was really there for a second."

      Now, at the car, I get caught up with trying to manually put my son in his car seat. None of the straps and buckles are working right and I spend a lot of time fumbling with things. My wife is trying to help me, but it's just not working right. The dream destabilizes and I decide it's fine to go ahead and wake up now.
    14. Ocean View Replaces Cubitis Backyard

      by , 12-02-2014 at 06:02 PM
      Morning of December 2, 2014. Tuesday.

      Once again, I travel back into “history”, though my Cubitis backyard becomes part of a fictional composite; this time there is an ocean that is mainly south and east instead of the backyard itself, though our house is still there, otherwise looking the same somehow. A high commercial concrete bridge seems to extend east of the carport (with highly ambiguous access plausibility), continuing easterly as far as the eye can see (taking on the implication of my recurring “eternity bridge” regarded in my note below*). I am with my wife Zsuzsanna. Our youngest son Oliver had been playing near the water at one point. It is almost as if we were originally going to go see the ocean (several miles away to the south at first) but instead, the ocean “came to us”.

      (*Note: This more commercial bridge has something in common with an equally fictional wooden bridge in the exact same location and orientation from a childhood dream, where it was above a prehistoric swamp, which also seemed to be my backyard at one point though the overall setting was ambiguous as if bilocated.)

      I am not sure where our son is at one point, but I do not think he is in any danger. I get the impression that he may be under the bridge on a sandbar. Several items are floating south on the ocean’s surface, each of which our son had been using but had abandoned. There is an inflatable raft, two empty green wheelie bins mostly submerged diagonally, a half-deflated inflatable mattress for a swimming pool, and at least two other items I do not recall. The items are far apart from each other.

      Our view seems about thirty feet above the water at this point as I continue to gaze southerly. The floating items seem quite far away to the south as well as far below. I am annoyed at the prospect of having to go out and somehow bring all the items back, especially as they are drifting farther away. My perspective is quite skewed however, as it would be impossible for the view to seem that far away while still supposedly in range of our implied backyard.

      In a short time from this point, my dream quite drastically changes the bridge area where I am standing and mostly enjoying the view from - into then being a low section where my wife and I are lying down on a regular mattress floating on the water but our mattress being somehow fixed in position to the rest of the bridge as if it was a part of it. I do not even seem to notice this rather extreme change in height or the silliness of the design. Looking at the water, which is very realistic, I am aware of the approaching shadow of a very large fish about two feet under the surface, which I take to be a shark and which slowly swims easterly, past us. There seem to be a few larger fish, one possibly a tuna, but I mostly see only one at a time. I tell my wife about the shark and move back from the edge in case it comes closer to the surface (but it does not).

      I am eventually somewhat concerned for our son, but I seem to realize that he is probably not in the water at this point. Interestingly, I am eventually vaguely aware that I am creating the shark and the other shadowy submerged forms though I am not at all lucid. (This has often happened before, where I had a subtle awareness that I was creating my dream - even the eerie or threatening aspects - yet was not remotely lucid at any point - in a sense that I knew I was manifesting everything but did not actually know I was in a dream state and did not contemplate taking conscious control at any point. It sometimes seems more about “making a movie” or even avant-garde art.)

      My wife is to my right, though beyond that side of our mattress is a far less defined environment, which I am not sure is water (the ocean continued northerly) or a half-wall of the old shed (which would occupy the space in reality). I have a vague concern about the shark going in that direction but sense some sort of “barrier”. There is nothing nightmarish about any emotions I hold, even though the perspective is quite vivid. I turn on my side and wake from my dream (in the same position implied in my dream) though I had not moved at all in reality.

      Updated 09-10-2015 at 12:01 PM by 1390

    15. 11/22/14 I Can't Believe This Is Not A Dream! Many RC's, DILD

      by , 11-22-2014 at 10:38 PM
      11/22/14 I will see if I can do a written DJ entry in a quick way...trying to find a good balance. This "meditating" on my previous dreams seems to bring much more of my immediate waking life into the coming dreams somehow but it's only been three nights in a row so it's hard to tell if it could be some other cause and hardly conclusive. Leaving out some non-lucids should help speed it up.

      I am on the couch with my wife and we are cuddling and getting more frisky and we have a blanket and while I wasn't looking she removed all her clothes and I knew what was next. The visuals and the vividness are quite good with very enjoyable sensations. <snip********************************************* ************************************************** ***************************>. Next we hear the keys in the front door lock and my wife rushes to get up and brings the blanket with her and runs around to the hall to hide leaving me with just my hands to cover up. I find my underwear and put them on. My son comes through the front door. As I greet him I hear a hair dryer going in the back corner room which, in hindsight, the layout seems most like my childhood home. The sound is coming from the bathroom in the master bedroom and no one should be in there. I ask my son if he knows why there would be a hair dryer going in there, did he use the hair dryer in there but that wouldn't make sense why would it come on by itself as this whole situation seems more supernatural...I get the thought that I can't believe this is not a dream. As I carefully head that way to see if there is an intruder or ghosts or what, my mother in law comes out of the bathroom and it is explained supposedly. I wonder what she is doing here though. I decide to do some state checks as we all head to an eat-in kitchen area that is in the place where the wall used to be between our kitchen and living room. I try to float and it feels like I'm doing it a little bit but I start to doubt...could I just be imagining the sensation really well right now. I do finger into my palm and my palm is solid but I know that many times the dream will create that scenario and decide to push my finger harder and I am amazed as I can see the skin on the back of my hand pushing out in the shape of my finger. But then again I wonder have I ever pushed this hard...can I actually see the shape of my finger on the other side of my hand if I do it this hard in waking life? I then decide to do a floating back flip and this convinces me enough to say OK then I can remove my underwear this is definitely a dream. I look over at my son who has a normal waking life reaction like "you are crazy what are you doing" but then I look at my wife and she has a "go ahead, whatever" look on her face and that is all the confirmation I would ever need! Unfortunately all this buildup, and then full confirmation in my mind, kind of felt like a strong emotional moment and I think it woke me up or I was just coming to the end of REM anyway.

      I had several lucid just before waking moments after this that I won't count. 236
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