• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Two Toy Parachutists on Eaves of Cubitis Carport

      by , 12-10-2018 at 06:10 PM
      Morning of December 10, 2018. Monday.

      Dream #: 18,984-07. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      Summary for casual readers only:

      While on the Cubitis carport, I see two toy parachutists hanging from the northerly eaves, a blue one and a white one. I go around and take the white one down and throw it about when back on the carport. An unknown woman looks on from where the carport meets the driveway.

      Readers with no interest in legitimate causes and effects of dreams need not read past this point.



      Preconscious precursor: My dream self attains subliminal awareness of being in REM sleep, though no current conscious self identity has yet emerged. A common liminal space nexus, the Cubitis carport (irrelevant to real life since 1978), is the setting. It represents being within the virtual space between my imaginary dream self and my conscious self identity. In subliminal, liminal, and concurrent dream self modes, I have deliberately used porches and carports since early childhood for this level of dream state and wakefulness processing.



      I am on the Cubitis house’s carport in late morning. The sky is blue, and I mostly focus on the northerly direction. Someone else is present who is a female of perhaps thirty, but I do not know her identity.

      To the north, I see objects in the sky. (One might be an airplane, but this remains unknown when I focus on the toys in the next scene.) I eventually see a toy parachutist hanging from the eaves. I had first thought that it was in the air in the distance, beyond Harold’s house on the other side of the orange grove. I walk around outside of the carport. At this point, I see two toy parachutists hanging by strings from their miniature parachutes, one slightly higher than the other. One is blue and the other white. I somehow take down the white toy (which would not have been possible in reality as it would have been too high up).

      I play with the toy parachutist on the carport for several minutes, noticing that it works very well, the parachute expanding and the soldier slowly floating down as I catch it each time. Its texture is simultaneously rubbery and silky. I find its perfection wondrous. Eventually, I begin to recall who I am. I remember my youngest son, though there is no other recall (such as where I live as I erroneously maintain the illusion of Cubitis until I wake). I consider that I will give my youngest son the toys. I think that someone, perhaps two unknown young boys, had lost them and probably will not return.



      Crucial notes: A common factor of the waking process and consciousness achievement is the preconscious simulacrum. Here, it is probably my wife Zsuzsanna, though remains dormant (unrecognized) until I wake. It does not domineer, as I am actively working with vestibular system correlation in subliminal anticipation of the falling start that terminates many dreams, though of which does not occur here as I modulate the process into a soft awakening, though with a projected transition rather than inherited.


      Updated 01-27-2019 at 11:19 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. My Daughter Upstairs

      by , 11-23-2018 at 11:16 AM
      Morning of November 23, 2018. Friday.

      Dream #: 18,967-04. Reading time: 2 min 52 sec. Readability score: 59.



      King Street boarding house in La Crosse in late morning. (Irrelevant to waking life since 1990). I may have descended the imaginary staircase (though I do not have the memory of it) to sustain and vivify my dream.

      I am at the bottom of the staircase from the second floor, where there is the fictitious feature of an L-shaped foyer where I remain until my dream ends. My landlady comes in from her kitchen and tells me to mop the floor in this area. The mop bucket is to my left. The mop is next to it.

      I do not use any water. I guide the mop over the floor and soon see a C-shaped clump of dust that it gathers and consider if I should tell the landlady that I should sweep the floor first. Soon, I see several Kinder Surprise toys on the floor, one of them a small penguin figure. I move the mop, and they are all in a small cluster.

      I hear my youngest daughter talking from upstairs, though I do not discern what she is saying. My landlady comes in (again from her kitchen) and asks me if my daughter has eaten yet. I am uncertain but tell her that she may have gotten something on her own. I inform her that I will be taking my daughter “to the north side” (meaning Northside La Crosse, to the Loomis Street house).

      She seems concerned that my daughter is on her own upstairs and mentions something about having heard of a boy on a CD, who recently died. (This is possibly my infra-self distorting “TV” to prevent a literal waking life translation, as the unconscious mind is not viably accessible in the dream state, contrary to popular misconception.)



      My dream starts decoding itself a moment before waking. None of our children have ever lived in America, let alone Northside La Crosse (or the King Street mansion on the south side of town either). I do not use the mop bucket, because I subliminally recall that water represents melatonin and potential dream state reinduction (and mopping or cleaning being an inherited biological thread of the glymphatic system, when fluid increases in cells while sleeping). (Because of this, water in the nexus, other than when I am entering or anticipating a return to sleep, never occurs. Despite the presence of the mop bucket and thinking it might be full of water, I never actually look into it and use the mop in its dry condition. Why? Because I am subliminally aware of being in the dream state - non-lucid - and my daughter might need me as perceived by RAS - even though Zsuzsanna is also awake, thus I do not seek to reinduce my sleep cycle.)



      For many years (even in childhood), I have been trying to determine if there is any consistent cause as to which threads of the current conscious self survive the demolition past the nexus and the transpersonal interconsciousness into non-lucid dream space. The infra-self is focused on the transition through the sleeping, dreaming, and waking space, not real life or from the viewpoint of the conscious self identity as in waking life, which ceases to exist in non-lucid dream space (one of many reasons I wholly dismiss “dream interpretation” in the typical use of the term).

      My youngest daughter is the sole liminal presence here based on something presently real in my life (though my dream self has no memory of my current address or that we live in Australia even in otherwise having recognition of my daughter). The reason is that she was awake and talking in reality at the time (in the lounge room) and it filtered through the nexus, the only thread that reached my infra-self.

      The staircase leads down into the (fictitious) L-shaped foyer. A foyer or porch is often a concurrent “bridge” within the nexus in all modes of dream manifestation (subliminal, liminal, and lucid) and RAS (reticular activating system) processes. It is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation. However, a staircase is not just about initiating consciousness in the waking process (or using it to vivify a dream when descending one). It is also about breaking the imaginary physicality of liminal space and becoming aware of the physical body (vestibular system correlation).


      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. Time to Join the Military

      by , 08-27-2018 at 01:44 PM
      Time to Join the Military

      It was time for me to join the military like all the other women. All the men were already out in a War and soon we’d join them. But my mom was a bit sneaky and hided my uniform so I became late enough not the be able to cut off my hair. When I tried to find my uniform tho, I found a lot of toys and such that I played with when I was a kid.
      Tags: military, toys
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. Alien Salvation

      by , 05-02-2018 at 06:44 AM
      Morning of May 2, 2018. Wednesday.



      My dream begins with the very common circadian rhythm correlation of the “something wrong with the sun” factor.

      In late afternoon, I am in a distortion of my Cubitis home, on the east side of the living room, though it is implied as our present home. I become aware that the sun is becoming too hot for life to continue on Earth. Thus, this is a typical “end of the world” theme (though these are rarely nightmarish for me in the way described by other people), which has occurred on a regular basis for over fifty years. I perceive much of the solar system as being oriented above and beyond the house to the east, with the implication there is no detail rendered elsewhere (such as beyond the other side of the world or to the west). This is surreal, as there are vestibular dynamics where I seem to “fall” into outer space in a dream within a dream and then shift back into my original dream’s setting without waking or with any perceived concurrent threat or concern other than the prospect of the sun eventually becoming too hot. It is as if my dream self is subliminally testing the autosymbolic (vestibular) design of my dream before deciding to continue (even though I am not viably lucid).

      I am aware that the sun’s heat will be increasing exponentially, and that in a few hours it will be about 6,400 degrees (or 80^2). A number of unknown people are present. Some of the others talk about surviving for a few additional hours. Apparently, they believe they can live for an extra hour or two, or longer, by staying in a building with an air conditioner that remains on. We all go out to find a safer location.

      There is a surreal scene where I am temporarily inside an upright hollow rectangular prism. Someone else is near the top looking down at me, as I am looking up from within it. There is some sort of ambiguous association with it being a vehicle. It seems nighttime at this point, but soon switches back to afternoon.

      While in an unfamiliar building on the third floor, I watch equidistant soap bubbles float by outside. I realize that this means aliens are present (subliminally influenced by comic book story I had not thought of at all in years). I consider that the aliens are here to save humanity, even though I only see the spaceship briefly in a dream within a dream. Some of the others suggest that we need to go underground, though we remain on the first floor for a time.

      My dream becomes more vivid and I am now in a distortion of the Loomis Street house, near the back door. A doll walks in from outside. It is about a foot high. It does not talk but makes clicking and humming noises as if to analyze a person’s status. A teddy bear also walks in as well as a stuffed elephant (with a floral print) walking on its back legs. They are all the same height.

      In the final moments prior to waking, I consider that the friendly and helphful aliens are very shy, so they sent in these devices to make first contact and to study people for a time before taking the human race to another planet to ensure survival.



      The “alien” association is caused by the transient subconscious self not being correlated with the conscious self identity while in REM sleep (as the non-lucid dream self has neither viable contact with the unconscious, such as consistent memory of personal history, or the conscious self identity as in waking life, though most people do not have the ability to realize this at all, hence belief in nonsensical forms of “interpretation”). This is not quite as common as more mundane RAS correlation factors. This is resolved by the introduction of the dream state indicators, teddy bear (first-level dream state indicator) and doll (autosymbolism for the physical body being inactive in sleep - more specifically, my subliminal awareness of Zsuzsanna also being asleep). An elephant, the last “toy” to enter the room, is autosymbolism for the waking alert factor in this case, due to how it “trumpets” (initiating the return to waking consciousness). Once my fictitious dream self subliminally accepts the dream state indicators, RAS modulation begins the waking process. Additionally, this is also a form of doorway waking symbolism, as the “toys” walk in through the back door from outside. (There is no personified preconscious factor as the “toys” hold this role.)


    5. A decent amount of non-lucids...but no lucids. D:

      by , 08-27-2017 at 06:35 PM (Awake to take in the view...)
      Dream 1: My family and I are at the airport. We have to go to the other part of it...in disguise (?) because of a fire and smoke in the nearby mountains.

      We stop to use the restroom. My dad and brother go ahead and use it, but as I'm trying to head to the toilets, this kid who used to bully me in middle school blocks me and starts kicking me, and mocking me. I tried having a normal conversation with him so that he would let me alone, but then he just starts making fun of me again. I had no idea what to do. It was a very powerless feeling and it was awful to have to relive that :/ Thankfully I woke up pretty quickly. No lucidity though.

      IRL, this kid was a prick in middle school, but he actually became a really nice guy in high school. It was weird how that worked. I went from hating him to liking him over the course of a year. I did my best to forgive him for what he had done to me in the past. So I have no idea why my subconscious wanted me to experience that again.

      Dream 2: I was at a nice restaurant with my (extended) family. We went to dinner at this fancy restaurant inside a mall. But I had to go to the bathroom, and the chef or waiter or whoever I talked to said that there wasn't a bathroom in the restaurant, so I'd have to go next door. Next door was a more casual but still pretty fancy diner with a bar as part of it. I walked past the bar and into the outdoor patio area. At this point, I had completely forgotten about using the bathroom, and went to get a drink of water instead. I sat outside with my water for a while, on a concrete step, next to a single dude on my right and a parent and their toddler-age daughter on the left. (Can't remember if the parent was male or female.) I watched a small little fountain show that they had going on. Water was leaping into the air out of the small fountain; I think it was shaped like a dolphin? Not 100% sure. A Weepinbell was there too for some reason, and it spit bubbles out of its mouth and into the air. The song "Alone I Break" by Korn was playing. When I woke up, the song was still in my head. o_o

      Dream 3: Family again. We're going home from a reunion. My dad said that he'd take me to a cool place he was thinking of, but I can't remember where. Before leaving, I start playing with some toys in this outdoor pit (part of our condo). Kaden, a former co-worker of mine, is there for some reason. We dig through this ENORMOUS mess of toys -- like it's about the size of a small house -- and we found a really cool map. This other dude who looked half-white, half-Chinese was there, and he was the one who found the map. Each time you looked at it, the map would change. The first time it had the 50 states, the second time it only had the continental 48, and the third time it had a saying or slogan or something on it in black lettering with a yellow background. Might've flipped it a fourth time; I don't really remember but if we did I believe something new was on there. There was a piece of tape on it, too, with some writing, but I don't recall what it said. We tried to find the brand so that we could buy one ourselves, but we couldn't seem to find it.

      IRL the power went out last night for just a few seconds; I can't remember which dreams it was in between but I couldn't remember anything when I woke up then. (The fans went off, so I think that's what woke me up)

      Dream 4: Some guy with long blond hair was complaining about how they wouldn't let this one girl who was a missionary use DeviantArt or Facebook or other websites ("they" being the people in charge of her, I think), and I was trying to explain to him that missionaries aren't supposed to use those things anyway at least until they finish.

      I don't know why all of these dreams involved bathrooms and my family. And I'm still trying to decide whether to keep describing my dreams in past tense or present tense. But overall it was a night with a lot of vivid memories, so that I am grateful for!
      Tags: bathroom, family, toys
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    6. Dream - DreamViews Wreaks Havoc

      by , 05-09-2017 at 09:03 AM
      Date of Dream: TUE 9 MAY - 2017



      Dream No. 110 - DreamViews Wreaks Havoc

      There is not much I remember about this dream. The first thing I remember is that I was on the DreamViews website, looking at the forums. And then I came across the Dream Combat Championship post which in the dream, was posted by franj251 (her username exactly resembles her username in real life but she isn't a DV member in real life). At first, the post looked like it did in real life but as the dream progressed, the layout started to change.

      In another dream scene, I was in an empty looking house, like I had just moved into to it. DB (my 5yo cousin) was there and she was playing with some toys. There was this pink toy wand on the top of a shelf which was taken and that made DB cry. I look back to see who it was and it was this man with blonde hair who claimed he needed it in order to keep his wings. In the end, I let him take it and I saw him cross the street back to his own house.

      I know WB was in the dream at some point but her role was very insignificant and I've forgotten what she did. I do remember she had her hair tied back and was wearing glasses, with her head poking out of an open car window. And that's all I can remember in regards to this dream.



      There is a "Behind The Scenes" Entry on its way for this dream.
    7. Window Ice Miniature City

      by , 05-04-2017 at 11:04 AM
      Night of May 4, 2017. Thursday.



      I become aware of a window, but I do not know the location. The window has ice on the bottom in the form of vertical columns of different heights. Over time, I see that it almost looks like a cityscape.

      Eventually, I see that it actually is a miniature cityscape of ice, with some three-dimensional associations. Over time, I move my hand “into” this city and take out toys and objects, such as small metal cars, tiny dollhouse furniture, and unknown items. I absentmindedly pull out a man of about half an inch high. He squirms in my hand and I apologize and put him back. However, I put him back on the “public sidewalk”, not back through the high window of a very tall building. He stands and looks up at it, puzzled as if uncertain how to get back. (This of course is not logical. I would assume he would just go through the entrance and take the elevator.)

      After this, I continue to take out more items, even small vases of flowers.



      Most dream scenes of non-lucid dreams (although I become lucid here, eventually) are either re-induction symbolism or waking symbolism. This part contains the re-induction symbolism, where the highest building symbolizes my conscious self in real time. Putting the miniature man on the sidewalk is a subliminal attempt to sustain my dream. (There was no “protest” from the preconscious due to this dream not being near one of the last dreams of the sleeping period, where the preconscious otherwise has more and more dominance relevant to the biological need to wake.)


      Tags: ice, toys, window
      Categories
      lucid
    8. A school dream (huge dream)

      by , 11-09-2016 at 07:16 AM (My Robotic imagination)
      This dream was so long that I had forgotten the beginning upon wakening since I was disturbed from it. My earliest recall of this dream was when I was walking down a hallways and I was coming from science and heading to English class. The hallway looks like a home hall with no lockers, just the various class rooms and a restroom. The lights were on and I made it to the double doors. I go down some stairs and made it to me next class room. Here it is kinda fuzzy but I clearly remember that I was in a room, lit by judging from the white lighting, looks to be only one florescent light that was off in the back somewhere. I'm sitting at a desk and I was playing with a very old Power ranger Titanus zord. It was remote controlled and I was driving it around since I was very bored. There was no teacher there and didn't see too many students around me. Someone told me to stop messing around but I ignored whoever and continued to play with my stuff. After sometime had pass of the teacher talking my toy rolls under a desk and gets tangled up in something, making a somewhat loud sound. An angry DC man came over and tried to snatch it away but it was still tangled and had to get it loose before taking it away. After that laid my head down and closed my eyes. Sometime has passed again and finally it was time to go. I got up and on my way out, grabbed my toy that was taken from me and headed on out. I run into Vernall (my old job coach) and was talking to her and then realized that it was the end out the day and school was out. Once I realized that I began to walk around in the school as various things began to happen.

      The first even was me talking to people and explaining my situation to them to see if they can help me get a ride since I didn't own a cellphone. No one complied and went out about their business. Then I go down some steps and look around there. I'm in a sub hallways and the toy in my hand was very different from before. Instead of the black motor one it was earlier, it was now red and I realized that it was the RPM Megazord and seen Speedor (to red Condor car) looking up at me. He says something but don't know what it was. It was no longer motor powered just a plastic figure that can change shapes. I ended up getting semi lucid but wasn't enough to gain control over the dream. I pictured the Megazord and human size coming from around a corner and when I looked around it, nothing was there. Just a big hallways leading to some lobbies.

      In the lobbies were sofas, chairs and TVs, some female DCs were there lounging and chilling out and here it was brighter since there was some windows and doors around. There was also a lobby desk next to me with a DC there, looking at me. So after that I talked to the toy in my hand and then went back down the hallway since this was obviously the wrong way.

      I ran down the hallway only to discover that I had long missed my ride home (public transportation) and was night time! I ran up some steps and found myself in a huge room that looked like some kind of empty store outlet that led into a busy mall. I began to hear music and see people walking around, shopping. This was not it. I go back downstairs to see if I can find another way out. I'm in another hall way and this time almost run into RPM Megazord who had randomly Spawned out of nowhere. He saw me and the first thing that came into thought, was what Speedor said that he was gonna do when he find me in my sleep. He was gonna seek out the darkness within me and destroy it. Good right? No. The darkness within me is a part of myself and he would end up making things far worse if he were to get a hold of it and to top it off I was still aware enough to realize that I am within myself and he could end up targeting me as the darkness. No wanting him to tear through me. I ran back up the steps and back up into the mall that has now filled the room up with arcade games, toys, more music and people. I ran through the people as I looked back and seen the Zord walking up the steps behind me and Speedors eyes seeming to be filled with Anger, blindly running forwards I ran into someone who elbowed me in the face and tripped me. I rolled to me feet just in time as I seen Speedors beak plow into the ground/floor where I was at. Shit! He was right there and attempted to grab me into it's arms but I ducked under them, ran down some steps and hide inside of an eclove. He ran into view, losing sight of me, looking around a speeding off into the lobby somewhere.

      After that I lose what bit of lucidity I had and go back to trying to get home. I was worried that my parents would be panicking about me not coming home and thought well shit...Completely forgetting about RPM who returned back to me when he saw that I came out of hiding. "Speedor." I heard something behind me and before I can turn around, I felt metal arms wrap around me and knew that it was him. He seemed less hostile this time and picked me up. Some DCs Saw what was going on and I heard someone yell and Speedor released me and I took off. He tried to get me again but ran down some steps. It was very dark here and only had some tan colored light at the end of the steps. As I tried to go down them I felt my arms began to feel like they were getting squeezed by invisible walls and it was harder to move forwards. Shit. I knew someone had me and you can only guess who that was.

      Updated 11-09-2016 at 07:23 AM by 13650

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    9. Amusement Park Reprise

      by , 11-04-2016 at 07:40 AM (Cinder's Dreams Gallery)
      We were at the amusement park again, but this time it was night. The group of people split up and me and a familiar person went to hang out around what looked like a courtyard, with roofs surrounding an opening. There were cushions and places to sit but there were also pools in the floor for some reasons.

      There was a small exhibit, like a school science fair exhibit, about a mascot named "Rocket" which was a... rocket. I told the DC that I thought Rocket was just a feminine of Rock before I remembered that rocket is a word. There was also some toy trains and tracks. I set something up but it went awry and the train fell over and spilled out the inhabitants which are figurines of Winnie the Pooh and friends, and somehow the train ran them over. We laughed.

      I then brought out my laptop to watch anime or something. This friend must've been close to me because he was already apparently faimiliar with my stash of hentai and nude selfies in my pictures folder which I had opened for some reasons. He seemed to mostly like women though. We mentioned something about having to go home soon.

      The anime started off on a rather... naughty start, but then it was about a girl and a boy in a magical academy. They were using a magical chest that let them project nightmare visions to prank people, but they got accidentally sucked into the chest and the chest closed and locked. Then began their adventure.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. Beware of the dog

      by , 08-18-2016 at 06:24 PM
      D1 - In a hospital room and its patient viewing time, i'm not totally sure who the patient is but have the feeling that they have been sick for a long time as the routine seems so familiar. We are sharing lunch and messing with the equipment (that can't be right).

      D2 - On a ferry/ship my daughter is escaping from parental supervision and I am in cahoots with her. No idea.
      And the end of the ship (bow? lol) she opens the doors and we can see the shore real close. Also there is a stash of cigarettes of different kinds and lighters and matches. We take all the stuff and are thinking of some kind of escape via a smaller boat or swimming.
      I am trying to learn some kind of powers so I can set light to things without needing matches Oo ? I totally believe it in the dream,

      D3 - At my parents house there is a super big dog that uses their toilet @@ ok lol.
      I am setting out my daughters toys for playing some game or other.

      D4 - I'm late for work, this is a dream I had soooooooo long ago. Where I am late for work, running late and trying to find clothes to put on. Then I have to run down the road to get the bus (which only like gets there once an hour).
      Tags: dog, hospital, ship, smoke, toys
      Categories
      non-lucid
    11. leadership test and also a trap and also a rescue

      by , 10-11-2015 at 06:01 AM
      We ended up in a desert by the time we ended up in the desert we had an additional companion. A young girl. We seem to go by some pyramids and we kind of lost some 'knights' and eventually it was only me and the child. We ended up in a literally Toy Land. But I had the feeling the entire time that this was in a sense a trap for people. As we were walking through I heard a woman saying something "Where does (toy) go?" I stopped to talk to this woman and she notices that me and (child) didn't have a bracelet like the did, which in this land was illegal. There was also the fact that if you stayed over 10 days, you're stuck there forever We got a braclet and a booklet thing (the booklet has something like sticklers which you put on the braclet 2 days, 4 days, 8 days, 10 days). But we started to walk a distance and somehow we dropped the booklet or something and sirens started and basically my family room (or a hologram of it) appeared in front of me, and I leaped over the couch (which felt as real as the real one) but I somehow forget the child on the other side. I had to make a decision to I risk getting captured to save someone else, or do I save my own skin? In that moment I understood what Henry from Once Upon a Time meant about " You're just scared. This happens to all heroes. It's just the low moment before you fight back." I made my decision to rescue the girl and right as I was doing that I woke up.
      Tags: desert, knights, toys, trap
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    12. Bassinets in a warehouse, and a DUI

      by , 06-19-2015 at 05:59 AM (Mouka's Mind Palace)
      I was in a big warehouse store shopping for random things, and found these two barstools I really liked. They looked a bit like the one I have now, with the weird beige seats. I wanted to get them both, but I couldn't fit them in the cart, and when I tried stacking them on top of each other I just failed miserably and dropped them... so instead I kept going, looking for something else. The next thing I wanted was a baby stroller... not stroller, but those things that are sort of like beds but have a canopy and wheels? Bassinet, I think. It was so cute, all green and white, and had these little buttons that made noises when you pushed them. So I wheeled that up to the registers, but then my phone rang and someone told me not to buy it because we didn't have the money, nor did I have a baby. I was really upset and put-out by that and left it sitting by the register.

      Cory was arrested for DUI, and I was really pissed off and depressed about it. I didn't even bail him out, I just left him in there, and he was being a massive dick and when I told him that I couldn't believe he'd drive my poor car while he was drunk, he admitted that he did it all the time. He wasn't sorry about it at all, he was just annoyed at me. It kind of blew my mind and broke my heart a little, and I wanted to cry. But I didn't want anyone to know I was crying because of that, so I walked over to the library and went inside. In the back, in between some rows of bookshelves, there was a little memorial for someone who died on that spot. A few people sat around it looking sad, so I joined them, that way I could look sad about something else. I don't remember all the people there, but I remember there was a gay couple that were just bawling their eyes out, and Thor from the Marvel movies was there talking about 'glorious deaths' and whatnot. I think at one point he was bragging about his girlfriend and spinning Mjolnir around. They eventually realized I was there for a different reason and instead of mourning, they all tried to comfort me and told me that he was totally in the wrong for acting like it wasn't a big deal.

      There was a dream I don't remember much of, but I was in a department store and going through the toy section. I remember walking by the bicycle aisle, and through an aisle with all kinds of cool action figures. I think those cool gashapon figurines I was eyeing on eBay were there.
    13. Drones + Smallpox + Bed Monsters (NLD + FA-DILD + DILD)

      by , 05-09-2015 at 09:55 PM
      Ritual: It was a great night for dreaming, probably because I went to bed so much earlier than usual, though I've also been especially attentive to my RCs for the last couple days. I went to bed a little before midnight, and I'm also currently on the East Coast, so the clock was three hours ahead of my usual time zone. My sleep was punctuated with the usual half-dozen wakings, though I didn't do any specific night practices other than try to pay attention to the transitions between sleeping and waking, and in this I was not persistant or prompt enough to pull off a WILD or a DEILD. But by around 6am I woke up from the first DILD, spent until 7:30am writing it down, then went back to bed and lucked into a second one.

      NLD, "Drones": I'm standing by a floor-to-ceiling, wall-length window in a big hotel suite, looking out over the curve of a bay. From the height we must be somewhere between the 20th and 30th floor, and to the right I can see another tall building, or perhaps an extension of the same hotel, following the curve of the beach. Ahead and to the left is the flat horizon of the sea. It would be a pleasant view if it weren't for all the drones hovering in our field of vision, each one carrying a sign with a single word on it, white block letters on a black background. The words seem to be completely random.

      "It's like some dystopian future," I comment to Peter Dinklage, who is standing to my left. I muse about what it would be like if the drones were weaponized, and turned on us like machines tend to do in science fiction. Though a chilling thought, they are awkwardly constructed without any armoring, and look like they would be easy to shoot down.

      Then I notice that although they are not armed with guns, each drone is fitted with a camera, which is just as bad in some ways. Are they conducting mass surveillance on us? The cameras are all pointed directly at us. As I watch, a see a few drones of a different type fly in very close. They are not carrying signs, and they are disk-shaped, topped with a transparent dome through which we can see tiny people inside operating them. The pilots can't be human: even though I am standing next to a dwarf, they are much smaller than him, the size of babies, but with adult features and pointed ears. One of them waves at us, and Peter Dinklage says something like, "This is really disturbing."

      FA-DILD, "Smallpox": Shortly after this I have the sense of waking up, though it is not a typical FA; I do not find myself in bed. I feel like I am standing in the same spot, in the same room, only awake now. Everyone else who was in the room a moment ago is gone, and there is no longer any impression of a view. The light has changed, becoming greyer and dimmer: it felt like late afternoon a moment ago, now it feels like early morning.

      At once I notice that something is wrong with my body: a dense network of small patchy blisters is completely covering my skin. I look at myself in third person, as though in a mirror, and see them everywhere: covering my face, my chest, my arms, every patch of visible skin is mottled with these raised lesions. I know exactly what they are, too, I've seen them before in historical pictures: these are smallpox pustules, apparently in an early stage, since they are slightly lighter than my natural skin color and haven't scabbed or opened yet.

      Immediately my rational mind rejects the scenario: didn't I get vaccinated for this? I realize I don't specifically remember getting a smallpox vaccine, but... isn't that because smallpox is extinct? I can't recall the details but I'm sure I remembered hearing that. Surely it's not making a comeback, like measles, because of all these anti-vaccers? But that can't be right—if smallpox were coming back then vaccinations for it would have become available, and I'd have been first in line.

      This can't be happening. I try to will away the pustules but nothing changes. I remain unconvinced. This can't be happening, it must be a dream. If I can levitate, I will know it is a dream: I put my mind to it and though I do not levitate properly, I can feel that gravity is definitely different from waking life. So it is a dream! Okay, that's what I thought. Thank goodness I don't really have smallpox. Now I just need to fix my appearance.

      I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, trying to will my skin smooth again. The pustules are stubbornly persistant, but a lock of hair turns white and I decide to transform the rest of it for fun. It instantly turns stark white, but the texture remains smooth and silky. This gives me the idea to turn my skin jet black, like that of a drow elf. I concentrate and most of it transforms, but there are still pale patches on my forehead and upper cheeks, and when I look down at my legs, they are a streaky grey that is fading out toward the ankles, more like body paint than skin pigment.

      On the bright side, changing the color of my skin finally got rid of the pustules, leaving it smooth again. Now I just want to even out the color, but the pale patches resist my initial attempts to darken them through will alone. I try to use my hands, as though spreading pigment over the resistant areas, and this helps a bit, but it is not an easy fix. As I peer closer into the mirror during this process, I notice that my eyes are solid black. I can't remember if this was the correct color for drow eyes, but I really like the effect. By the time I complete the skin transformation, my hair has faded from snow white to a yellower bone white, and this looks better and more natural with the jet black eyes and skin.

      During this process my hair has been going through stylistic variations, always long and straight, but hanging down in different ways, and smeared with substances like blood or oil. I figure this makes sense for drow fashion, since living underground they probably don't bathe all that often, making hair treatments like oil very practical, whereas the bloody streaks look impressively gruesome. Although my skin won't stay pure black, it doesn't fully revert to its natural shade either, but retains traces of color, like streaky orange-browns on a muted blue base, while the hair stays yellowish-white.

      WBTB: I woke up and spent over an hour writing the report of the last dream, but afterwards it was still early enough to go back to bed. Although I was not sleepy, it was a pleasantly lazy morning, and I enjoyed drifting in hypnagogic imagery. There was a period of ambiguity where it became increasingly difficulty to tell if I was having waking or dreaming experiences, and then I slipped again into full dream.


      DILD, "Bed Monsters": I was wandering through the large house belonging to my in-laws where I am currently staying, and I had lost count of the number of bedrooms... there had to be more than twenty. Just how big was this place? At that moment I realized, no, of course it is not so big in waking life, it is because I am dreaming that the size has been exaggerated. Dreaming, eh? Wasn't there something I had meant to do, if I found myself dreaming in a bedroom? Suddenly I recalled this month's TOTM, to make friends with the monster under your bed. Oh! I should get back to the room where I'd been sleeping! I dashed back so quickly I was afraid I would destabilize the dream, but luckily it stayed intact.

      I peered under the bed but it was a pleasant open space. It looked like there were a few banal things stored under there, but nothing looked sinister or monstrous. I felt around for something to work with, and my hand closed around a small plush object, which I withdrew and examined closely. It was a small brown teddy bear, only five inches long, with a plump, pear-shaped body and tiny beady eyes. There was a lighter brown oval around the bit of stiching that served as a nose. I was impressed with the detail with which I could perceive it, but had no idea how was I supposed to "make friends" with it. It seemed totally inert, a harmless stuffed animal. I set it on the thick folds of the comforter piled on the bed. "Dance!" I commanded. It just sat there. "Dance!" I tried a few more times, but it remained inaminate.

      I walked around to the other side of the bed, setting down the teddy bear on a dresser. I turned away for a moment, and when I looked again it had changed: now it was a sort of bell-shaped plastic structure hanging from the ceiling by a string. I couldn't tell what its purpose was, but it still appeared to be an inert object.

      It occurred to me that I had been walking around and standing right next to the bed completely heedless of the space underneath. If there really were monsters under there, I'd have to watch out for my ankles! I wondered if this was the problem, that I didn't really have any lingering childhood fear of monsters under the bed. Perhaps I should try again with more intent.

      I bent down and looked under the bed from this side, trying to keep the idea of monsters in mind. I still didn't see much under there: it was a light and airy space, just like in waking life, completely different from the overstuffed space under my bed at home. But I did see a scrap of cloth within arm's reach, so pulled it out. It turned out to be a little crocheted cat, only about three inches long, white with some orange spots. I guessed it must have been made by a total amateur. The body seemed floppy like it was unstuffed, and as I turned it over in my hands, I discovered that it was actually crocheted in a single flat piece with the four little legs sticking out horizontally, so only when it was folded in half along the back did it look plausibly like a cat. The head was the only piece that appeared to have been crocheted with any semblance of three-dimensionality. As I studied it closely, I saw tiny points of bright green contrasting with the dominant the white and orange: there was a little green tuft on the trip of the tail, and projecting from the head was a narrow appendange like the antenna of a cartoon alien, also topped with a green point.

      However, this object also showed no sign of motion or life, so it would be hard to say I was "making friends" with it. But then my eye caught a glimpse of orange fur near my feet: my cat had appeared! I wasn't surprised that she had turned up: when thinking about the task in waking life, I had reasoned that she really was the monster under my bed. Though I adopted her when she was about five months old (the best guess of the shelter) she had been living in a feral state before that, and even after five years of comfortable indoor living she still has the edgy instincts of a street cat: she hisses at the slightest provocation, and holes up under the bed for hours whenever a stranger is in the house.

      I knelt down to ruffle her long, soft fur, which felt totally life-like, but I noticed the color was off. In the dream she was calico, with big orange patches, but I remembered that she was a tabby in waking life. I wondered if she could qualify as my dream bed monster—though right now she was acting very pleasant and relaxed, and I figured it probably wouldn't count because I had already made friends with her in WL.

      Yet again I peeked under the bed, and this time at last I found the perfect candidate for my experiment. I felt that it was connected somehow with the tame cat at my feet, as though all her feral qualities had separated into a different animal. This one had a tortoise-shell coat, all the same colors as a calico but in smaller, more mingled patches. Although the fur resembled that of a cat, the body suggested another animal entirely, with a narrower head and tapering snout. I was pretty sure it was a fox. Best of all, it was already hissing and snarling at me! This was the monster I had been looking for!

      Now all I had to do was make friends with it. I began calling to it in the cooing, overly affectionate voice I might use with my cat. "Come here... lovely sweetie... lovely sweetie. I have treats for you my love... treats for you my love." The animal reacted as any feral creature would, holding its ground and continuing to hiss and snarl. I could see the tension locked into its body, poised for fight or flight. I reasoned that since it was a dream monster, the best approach would be to hug it, but that wasn't obviously wasn't going to be possible while it was still under the bed. I needed to draw it out first.

      I reached under the bed and the animal snapped at the air and threatened to bite me. I considered drawing my hand back for a different approach but decided to let it go ahead and bite, inspired by that wonderful scene in Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind where Nausicaa tames the fox-squirrel by remaining calm and patient when it bites her finger. Plus, since it was a dream I didn't have to worry about physical harm. So I kept reaching toward the animal until it bit down on the middle of my left index finger. The pain was surprisingly clear and sharp, but easily manageable. I kept thinking of that scene from Nausicaa and projecting similar expectations on this situation. I felt the animal relax enough to take a few steps closer to me, but it had not yet emerged from under the bed when the dream abruptly faded. Intriguingly, even after I had fully transitioned to wakefulness, I could still feel a distinct itch in the second joint of my left index finger where the animal had bitten me.

      uncontrollable things in lucid state-nausicaalarge1.jpg

      Updated 05-10-2015 at 04:09 AM by 34973

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      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening , memorable , task of the month
      Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails uncontrollable things in lucid state-tetonausicaa01.jpg  
    14. Secret werewolf files

      by , 03-06-2015 at 01:23 AM (Keitorin's Dream Log)
      -Forgotten fragment that I didn’t write down because it didn’t make enough concrete sense too. Really annoying when that happens.

      -We’re at a woman’s house, standing in a room. I’m to her right. For some reason I know her secret - she’s a werewolf. She sneaks a look at me and mouths something, something that’s part of her secret. I think she’s telling me where something is, some keys or something. I wonder if it’s near a full moon, if it’s affecting her.

      I’m in another room with the woman and another person and we’re looking through some kind of history or genealogy book. In the front, it has really thin pages width-wise and are made of different material, and normal length and paper after that. We’re flipping through it and are excited to see a couple of familiar names, but we turn to one that means something to the third person in the room. Romano Romaine.

      There was another name before that that I recognized but I forgot it.

      Jump.

      I’m playing with a small toy house with a little girl. We end up taking it apart and I have to figure out how to put it back together by myself because she falls asleep. I’m bad at this stuff so I’m worried I’ll get in trouble.

      Jump.

      I’m in a room looking over at Spice on some kind of balcony room, he’s on the other side of a clear door and I talk to him.

      Jump…

      In yet another room, mom gets on the woman’s computer. The woman is standing in the room too but she’s not moving or look at us in particular.

      Mom shows me a zip drive and asks me a question with her eyes. I know she’s asking whether or not to download something from the woman’s computer (her secret). I gave a real decisive answer by shaking my head both yes and no (lolol).

      She puts the zip drive into the computer and a folder opens up full of other folders (about four rows). One is labeled ‘Sarah’. I guess that if the woman gets suspicious, mom can easily show that she’s just looking through her own stuff.
    15. Toy figures change size

      by , 08-22-2014 at 02:22 PM
      Morning of August 22, 2014. Friday.



      I am looking over my two youngest sons’ toys (the boys are also in the room) which have been gathered together on the floor near the center of the room. I am not fully sure of the location. It may be the living room from Cubitis but may also be Barolin Street. There are no obvious features to go by and my in-dream perspective is not focused on the environment itself anyway. There are several plastic toy soldiers (multicolored rather than monotone) that are on a much larger vehicle (mostly which I keep facing me, where I am sitting on my knees, it seems). The vehicle also has a couple smaller vehicles in the back that are around the same scale as the toy soldiers. This seems “normal” at first regarding real-life proportions, until I later realize that the two quite different scales of vehicles would not exist at full scale in real vehicle scenarios (though I doubt in conscious afterthought that children care that much if all of their toys are all at the same scale as my dream seems to imply) I test a toy army truck at the toy soldier scale that whirs a bit, being one that goes by itself for a short distance when activated by manual movement somehow. The gear design under it seems fairly complex.

      A bit later, I look at a truck that is only slightly bigger than the scale of the toy soldiers which is sitting in one section of the back of the much larger toy truck (which is on my left with the larger vehicle facing me). In a short time, the smaller vehicle is much larger, about one-quarter the size or larger of a GI Joe jeep I once had. There are then much bigger figures, about the scale of the larger plastic toy solider figures I used to have. In a way, I am also thinking of smaller versions (about two-thirds the size at this point in-dream) of the GI Joe and Johnny West dolls I had as a boy. One of the figures is a pregnant female. Her stomach opens up (being similar to a model we had at the middle school) and the womb and baby can come out in a few separate parts. The colors of the pieces, four of them, are mostly pink and blue. This last part seems to vaguely relate to a previous real-life task of trying to come up with a way to fix the small broken keyboard “leg” - which was replaced by a new one and that one in turn broke shortly after. They do not make things very well any more.


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