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I’ve been training rigorously and am at a point now where I’m lucid all night in all dreams on most nights.

Last night, a dream entity representing my subconscious mind put me through long trials designed to test my endurance.

During these tests, the dream was designed to “trick” me into nonlucidity, hinting that I was being tested for mastery over lucid dreams.

My fears and discomforts were used to throw me off track.

I had wounds in my arms, stomach, etc. at some point, but since I knew it was a dream, I shut off pain and didn’t care.

insects swarmed me, but I knew it was just a dream and didn’t let the sensation get to me.

Ghouls and monsters would jump out at me from otherwise seemingly normal scenes, but jump scares didn’t bother me because I knew it was a dream and just found it to be silly. I jumped at the monsters in return.

Family members I stopped contact with in waking life appeared to antoginize me like they used to, but I regarded them like flies knowing it was a dream and ignored the pestering.

Dream characters sometimes turned demonic, but I didn’t care.

I wish I could remember the whole narrative with every detail, but this was one long dream that lasted from around 10 pm to 3am.

The dream was “restarted” in creative ways to try and throw me off, though. Initially, the world was a town made of speghetti. This was the easiest to be lucid in.

When I wasn’t fooled by speghetti town, a dream character led me to a door leading outside to a more realistic setting. This was a test to get me nonlucid, but I knew this was a dream too because walking through a door isn’t how “waking up” works. That’s not a proper state transition.

Then I had a false awakening into my home that mimicked proper state transition, but nope, I knew I was traveling out of state right now and I’m not home, so I knew it was a dream.

Next I was in a realistic thriftshop type of store. I noticed TY beanie babies (a dream sign for me) on a shelf and knew it was a dream again.

False awakening happened again.

I forget how many times I had these false awakenings and in what order, but it was so frequent after a while that I became lucid just off of the repetition alone.

I falsely “woke up” in the right bed at one point. The room was convincingly realistic, but I still knew it was a dream. My spouse was sleeping to my left, which was the wrong side from my physical reality.

As I laid there, I started to hallucinate. A ghostly figure formed. I knew my fears were being tested again and I didn’t get scared of it, rejected it from my experience and it faded.

A shadow figure formed next and I shrugged that off too.

Then I had sensations of sleep paralyzis (just like I used to get), but it didn’t phase me the same way real sleep paralysis doesn’t anymore (I cured myself of decades worth of SP a couple years ago).

I went back into my lucid dream of the same rural town and rode a horse into the hills where my remaining fear finally manifested…

Behind the hills, reality ceased to exist. It was just an empty skybox, like the edge of a video game. Out of bounds.

I promptly turned my horse around and went back to the center of town away from the void.

I almost went into one of the buildings, but there was a crack in the wall with a bright white light shining through it. I sensed that the inside of this building didn’t exist, it was an out of bounds void inside, so I didn’t open the door.

“Who’s in control now?” said a voice all around me. My “dream” was speaking to me. You could say this is my subconscious, or whatever you want to call it.

The voice was neither male or female and seemed omnipresent. It had a taunting condescention oddly mixed with compassionate concern. I could hear both tones combined. The words were the same, but it was like two voices (the same voice) speaking them with different tones.

Every time I turned around, there was another out of bounds crack in the dream reality. Even the horse had cracks in it, so I got off, feeling an intense fear start to get to me.

I was confident that I could run, though. I can always wake myself up, and I will without hesitation if I touch the voids. My ultimate escape. Knowing this helps keep me calm even when I’m scared in my dreams, and I try to stay in them.

My dream is well aware of this fact. We’ve had this dynamic with my fears for more than 20 years (I’m aware that my dream isn’t a separate entity, but it presented as such in this particular dream). The difference now is that my lucidity rate is almost at 100% and I’ve overcome most of my fears… Most.

I teleported myself out of there completely and was back at the speghetti town. But this time, it was from third person perspective. Obviously a dream, but then I zoomed out and I realized I was just watching a movie on my phone.

My spouse was standing next to me. I stood there looking at my phone and thought it was odd. I just dreamed about that place.. I started telling my spouse about the neat testing dreams and lost lucidity in the process.

But mid-talking to her, it hit me. I realized this was a dream because there was no transition between waking and dream state (again) just now. I looked around at the colorfully painted walls of the pavilion I was standing in.

There were dream characters walking around, going about their business as if all was normal.

“Hey, wait a minute. This a dream still, isnt it?~” I turned and said to one of them with amusement.

The world froze. All of them looked at me like zombies.

The one I spoke to transformed in front of me, revealing a gray humanoid creature with red cube for a head. It smiled back in amusement. “Nothing fools you, huh?”

I nodded knowingly, recognizing that this was the source of the voice earlier (a manifestation of my subconscious mind). “Nope.” I said confidentally.

I was slightly disappointed that I was nonlucid at all. I thought about how I’m totally going to tell my spouse about this dream when I’m up for reasies, though. What a saga!

I was proud of myself. This was implied to be the final round. My lucidity had been put through the wringer, and I passed most of the tests, but… not all of them.

“Your fear of the void still rules over you.” the cube-headed figure stated tauntingly with implication that it would continue to taunt and control me so long as I had this fear.

But I sensed the compassion and concern, too. It also wanted me to get better, overcome the fear, and free myself from… myself. This was all me being my own antogonist, creating my own trials.

Then, the whole scene around me vanished. No cracks, no running, no time for me to escape. It happened too quickly for me to properly react.

I suddenly found myself standing in the void.

I was about to wake myself up, but I didn’t. I held my breath, feeling tense as a brick as I stood in front of the cube-headed figure. All the other dream characters vanished, but this one stayed with me, still standing in the same spot, looking at me, waiting. Knowing it represented my subconscious and the dream, it felt comforting.It was still here with me.

I looked around at the gray void, which had a black frame that formed a box shape we were standing in, providing some slight amount of structure, which also helped reduce my fear.

I was braced for terror, but never quite reached it fully like I normally would. I was able to stand there calmly and feel the tension leave my body (well, dream body).

I did eventually end the dream after a moment, but not from pure terror.
I was scared, but not as bad. I gave myself a moment of dreamless sleep afterwards, then woke myself up.

I’ve never stood in the void like that for so long and felt so close to okay… But I was spent. Normally my lucid dreams energize me, but all the suspense and tension from the fear trials was tiring. Plus I needed a restroom break.

It’s 3:24 AM at the time of journaling this. I need to go back to sleep, but I’m too scared of void… I don’t want go go back in. Maybe I’ll just stay up.

Update: It’s now 4:35 AM. I’m ready to go back in. I feel less alone when I’m with myself in the void. Back to bed now.

I don't remember much about my dream, but the things I do remember really are bugging me.

In my dream, I was a person I made up in my head. I looked exactly like how I imagined this person. So I'm on some sort of quest looking for spirits that grant me magic powers such as pyrokinesis and such. Mid way through the dream, I'm walking through a cave where a monster that kind of looked like Lugia from Pokemon attacked me; it was one of the spirits I talked about. I somehow ended up out of the cave and at the beginning of a town. I turned around to get the monster out of the cave. I pulled a switch which was attached to a chain and it started pulling the monster out. When it came out, it was decapitated and I couldn't understand why. Maybe someone was chasing me? Anyways, I carry the head to the town (the town looked to be a run-down wood/brick medieval-esque town) and the town came to greet me. Apparently some of the people knew me and came to see me. I dropped the head and curled up into a ball, like any sane person would do once they've been holding a decapitated head of a monster. One of the girls in the crowd said "what's wrong with her?" and what seemed to be the village elder of sorts said, and I specifically remember this and I don't know why. He said "She just needs someone to hold".

I really enjoyed the dream but I want to delve into it and learn what it was all about.

A dream that came back to me from a few years ago. It skips around a bit, but stays within the same narrative.

I was walking in the snow with my wife and child (I was a man in the dream, I would estimate I was 35-40yrs old). We were just enjoying the calm when we decide to walk to the library were I used to live irl.

We make our way in, but it is a trap and my wife and daughter disappear somehow (nothing mystical, I just loose sight of them).

I end up at the top floor of the building, which ends up having many floors. I just know that I have to find my way down to find them.

There were many people I had to fight, and trials I had to face on my way down the stairs. The only one I remember was one with yu-gi-oh cards, or something of the like, that he was summoning or using magic to get in my way.

I finally make it to the bottom and find them on the first floor looking for me.
I grab them and run out of the building. We all begin to get in the car discussing how strange the events were that just happened.

I had a sudden realization "hey" I say "we didn't driver here" the fake image melts away and we find that we are still in the building.

We fight our way out again and walk home together, and I wake up.

I found it strange enough that I was a married man with a child, but I loved them so much, I have never not been another gender other than this dream to date.