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#482 - DEILD - 4:11AM

I have a false awakening where there is some sort of party going on in my bedroom with the guys from work. There's some issue with the Playstation and I have to sort it out. I am a little annoyed they were being so loud and woke me up but I manage to go back to sleep.

I wake slightly and move just a bit to get more comfortable and focus on DEILD. There are some very mild vibrations and I get too caught up in focusing on that causing my lucidity to dip a bit.As I wait, my wife rolls over closer and starts making out with me. I'm really enjoying this and wonder if she's woke up wanting to do it or if I am really just dreaming. Either way I don't care and just enjoy the moment. She starts talking about wanting sex and some other things that surprise me a little. I think this is probably a dream and while I ponder that I actually hear her begin to snore. I realize she can't possibly be making out with me and snoring at the same time and my full lucidity returns. Unfortunately my wife begins to toss and turn a bit and it totally wakes me up.

After she settles down, I try to DEILD again only to fail. I am in the living room painting a mural on the wall. I am working painting a man and I keep having trouble with the white beard. I manage to get it to look right, but when I look away to reload my brush, the different color have blended together too much. I step back to the whole picture and I notice different sections that don't go. The man is too small and standing in trees and on the other end someone has painted furniture. I give up and tell myself I'll have to just paint over the whole and start fresh later. I decide to go back to bed for now and when I lay down thinking about all of this, I realize it's a dream.

It's really dark now and my wife is talking a bunch of nonsense. It's so distracting that I can't even think. I shout, "SHUT UP!" Shocked at my out burst I wait for her to retaliate, but she is now silent. I chuckle a bit and wonder if I said that in my sleep because it sounded so loud and clear. I shout out again wondering if maybe I really am awake. I do a nose plug and blow through so I get up, but it all feels to real. I fall back into bed and then decide to just go for it. I get up and move out of the bed room in the total darkness. I shout, "HEY DREAM!" and then fall into an abyss. I enjoy the sensation of falling for a few seconds and then hit the floor. I realize I am back in the bedroom. It's still too dark, but I can see that much. I recall the make out session from earlier and find my wife. I'll spare the details, but I decided to have raunchy sex with my wife. It's a pretty lengthy segment for a lucid dream. Some how we move around the room this is all happening and end up in the bathroom. I notice the woman has shifted from looking like my wife to looking like some other woman. I really just want my wife, but realize this is the nature of dreams.

I stand up in the bathroom and notice is nearly totally dark again. I recall a trick I was told about and blind summon a light from my pocket. I get some light when I flick it, but see some hideous monster with giant eyes looking at me. I put away the lighter and blindly punch at the creature as I move back into the bedroom. I quickly decide to forget I saw that and just wondering into the dining room. I try light switches and even find a huge breaker box. I flip all the switches, but I still can't see. I'm starting to get annoyed now and desperately look for any light source. I notice the fridge is open a bit and light is spilling out of it. I open and study the food items but they all look oddly distorted. I go back into the dining room and see a super bright light coming from a bowl on the table. It's too bright to look at, but only dimly lights the room. I get on the floor and study the wood grain for a bit to stabilize. Now the kitchen light is all the way on so I rush to it. When I get there the room distorts and morphs and the dream fades.

I find myself back in bed looking at my phone. I have a snapchat text open. It's mostly non letter characters, but there is one sentence. "Fell a distance of ooooooohhhhh". I laugh decide it's a log of what happened to me during the earlier part of my dream. I scroll down but the phone zooms into much to see it all and bar of black makes it hard to see. I notice I scrolled past the word "sex", but can't seem to find it again. I've been taking screenshots of all of this hoping that somehow it will be on my phone when I wake up, but I know deep down it wont. Too bad.

Now my daughters come in the room and for some reason this is so distracting that I loose all lucidity. They have swollen sores on there legs and my wife says it has to be bed bugs bites. Somehow I doubt it, but I get up and doctor their wounds anyway. After I do that my wife gets ready to leave and says she needs to take them someplace and she will be right back. I'm confused, but just say, "Ok." Then my son wakes up and runs into the room crying for her. I say, "Oh look. Mohinder woke up." That's not even close to his actual name, but in the dream I don't even find this odd. I have to hold him so my wife can leave out the front door. It's at this point that I wake up.

I had a few dreams before all of these, but stupid me lacked the energy to write them down as I woke up and fell asleep again. I believe they may have been variations on a theme that follow on into the dreams below.

Dream 1: The Dictator's Wife
The sun is setting, I see trees, I'm outside a summerhouse kind of place. I open a fridge, I see bottles of health drinks. I take one. A car pulls up, it's big like a camper. Out comes a dictator, pompous and wearing an elaborate uniform, he reminds me of Gaddafi. He is with his wife, she is a blonde, white woman with huge hair and a skirt, a jacket with padded shoulders, she is like a televangelist's wife in appearance.

She is very vain and stuck up. Her face is painted on the doors of their car and on walls inside the camper. It looks like her husband was a bit cheap when it came to the painter because despite being able to make out the pictures are of her, they look like they were painted by a child. This doesn't seem to bother her.

Dream 2: Dangers of Fast Food
It's like I'm on a train, her face is on the walls here too? I get out, I'm in a newly built, modern town, I see modern looking apartments. The sun is rising, the sky is a faint and gentle morning blue. As I walk I'm suddenly faced with a documentary style explanation, with stock footage and all, of why fast food is dangerous and bad for you. It is full of fat and even the healthier options, like a fillet-o-fish, are full of bad stuff, I see one in in a wrapper like an ad, except it is dripping with vile grease.

I make it to a parking garage with a McDonald's drive-thru. Two men, one older and one younger, from El Salvador, walk to the drive-thru. They do not know the dangers, and even being told them doesn't seem to have an effect. It smells too good, the older man says.

It cuts to them lying on the ground, their backs against a bulletin board, stomachs bloated, they couldn't help themselves. The president of El Salvador comes across a grassy lawn, he has come to help his countrymen to understand the dangers and to help them get up. The older man gets up, telling the younger one to be sharp, this is the president after all.

I see a train with a conductor. He is going up the civil service ladder. More documentary footage rolls before me, showing how the civil service works and how people go up from the lowly ranks of ticket checkers to conductors all the way to officials in government. Conductors in the first car are the most prestigious and get the best benefits because they are in more danger if a car full of explosives drives head-on into the train.

To my left I see a burnt out train car, the tracks in front of me being where the scene has faded into reality, a train passing by with a conductor being visible.

Behind me there is a hospital room. I enter it and there are green tiles on the walls, curtains. A child has been brought in. He has diabetes. His vain mom refuses to believe he could have it. Another, poorer and more humble mother, is also with her child with diabetes. She accepts the news gracefully. A creepy kid in big coke-bottle glasses distorting his eyes, slowly puts a syringe of insulin into the richer kid's neck.

Dream 3: Doing my homework
It's a hectic day in class. People are being noisy and belligerent. In class on desk we are given homework for the holidays. As people leave I decide to do it right there, it won't take too long. We have to copy an ad from a piece of paper onto the back of a newspaper. It's for some find of mech or ghost thing. (Imagery is from Ghost in the Shell). I copy the green fonts on the newspaper's black background, the letters look like gibberish, but it could just be the font. As I do this an Asian kid, one of the "too cool for school" kinds, asks me why I'm doing the homework now, it takes only a few minutes and can be done the Sunday before school starts again. I say I rather do it now so it's out of the way.

A teacher with a new haircut comes and asks me if I know how to make electrical drawings for houses. He shows me a picture of the electrical wiring of a house, it's a square and the right upper and left lower corner is clipped off. I try to ensure him that I can.

Can only remember one dream this morning:

At a large roundabout just like the one we used to use regularly in my home town when I was a child. I was driving wife and children in the car, in the wrong lane becasue I thought my wife had told me to go in it, then she got cross because I was in the wrong lane.
Turned into a street and I left the family behind, can't remember why. I was then walking looking around for somewhere to park a chair (?) and loking at placed and working out if a chair would fit in. Then I was parking the car in a private space, and changed my mind and thought I would get caught, and drove out again. It was now a street full of shops. I went into a chocolate shop to buy a cake for my daughter. I ordered a very small one and was annoyed with myself for being so mean. Then I went to look for the family and was suddenly very tall and was wandering through crowds before I spotted them.

#467 - DILD - 2:25AM

I am standing before a group of celebrities in something resembling Hollywood Squares TV show. I am asking them to volunteer to star in my movie, but I am being super secretive about the movie and they are all skeptical. Brad Pitt seems the most interested and I walk up some stairs to meet him and talk. As Brad Pitt is talking there is some visual where I use a scalpel to cut the outline of his face out of the dream reality. I hand Brad Pitt some cash for being interested and he hands me double the amount. I tell him that I said I would pay, but he says he doesn't need the money and wants to donate to my movie. I accept the money. We have some more conversation.

I am now in a crappy theater with old black and white movie sections. The screen is like a touch screen waiting for me to make a section. Behind me is a pathetic group of people in small bleachers. I asked there were the newer movies are but no one seems to know. My daughter is with me and she is just as annoyed as I am.

I am now opening some strange store or shop with my wife. I notice the dream scene has changed and I become lucid. I know I am dreaming, but I am still caught up in the scenario. I go through our routine and turn on an check lots of machines. I am trying really hard to remember what I am supposed to do. I worry about waking up and think I will find an object to use to stabilize. I lose most of my visuals and have to concentrate to get the dream back.

The dream comes back, but I think that I have to start the dream over to get my lucidity back. I walk around trying to stabilize, but nothing seems to work. I decide I need to WILD to get things going again. I tell my wife to keep doing what she is doing and I will be right back. I close my eyes and fall backwards. There is fear of hitting the floor and some strong falling sensation, but I trust that it won't hurt. I concentrate then open my eyes.

I am now at a higher level of lucidity, but not by much. I stand up and continue whatever I was doing before. A lot of random flipping of switches and whatnot. I find a clip board and remember a survey I never completed in waking life. For some reason I feel the need to do this in a dream. I write my name and date and then look over questions. I realize I can't see shit and am happy that its mostly filled out. I see a large blank spot and, for fun, decide to write "I am dreaming." I write slowly and deliberately forcing the letters to form and be stable. I get mostly done when my wife comes next to me and hits my writing arm. I am slightly annoy and say, "Babe. Don't do that." I wake up realize my wife is actually touching my arm.

#465 - 4:12AM - DILD

I have a long dream segment where I am at some version of my first job ever; Long John Silver's. I am revisiting as my current self and watching the manager cook. I join in and fry some fish.

Now I am riding in a car. I see a Sonic restaurant that is totally black with huge billows of smoke coming from it. I watch as we get closer and I can hear some theatrical and dangerous-sounding-music. Suddenly, the scene dims for just a fraction of a second. Then, I hear a short fart (lol) and some happy sounding music as I find myself riding in the same car, but in a very normal looking neighborhood. I notice the Sonic building is completely gone, and because of this, I instantly become lucid. I look at the driver and see my wife. I tell her how weird that glitch was and how this is all a dream. She keeps her eyes on the road with both hands on the wheel and only smiles in reply.
I continue, " So we can fly. Go. Fly us away."
The car lifts up into the air, but I lose visuals at this point and find myself floating in a bardo. I recognize this for what it is and try to stimulate some feeling by making swimming motions. After a few seconds, I begin to feel like the air is thickening into water. I see something... some movement. An animated electric blue outline of a shark emerges from the darkness and opens its jaws. It all looks very psychedelic so there is no fear. Instead of moving away, I pretend to be the bigger fish and open wide ready to bite. I wake up before we collide.

Morning of August 25, 2015. Tuesday.



Notes:

It always gives me an extraordinary sense of fulfillment when I get a continuous flow of insight and am able to more fully decode certain patterns in dreams over a lifetime since earliest memory. I am very grateful for the technology that has allowed me to do this; that is, type faster and with continuous editing potential (rather than writing and correcting and rewriting and correcting when I was little), put documents all together in one place, and have a listing and potential day to day timeline of my lifetime from around age four (with sparse family references and records since my birth date in 1960) as well as having access to resources that are able to validate and enhance so many of my earlier records. Not only will I be able to, in about ten years (only an optimistic estimate of course), bring all of my dream records and notes together as I want them, I will also have the ability to do extensive searches with a fair amount of precision. This dream, as odd and unlikely as it seems (even to me at first - I did not expect the flashes of realization when working with it), gave me the required focus somehow to unravel a small and isolated set of dream metaphors and associations going back to 1968 as well as relating to the path to my beautiful soulmate. There are too many layers to get into in this entry (and one would have to understand hundreds of summarized pages of my personal back story to “get” any of it anyway). I can only loosely touch upon some of it. Obviously, there are still limitations to my personal symbols and metaphors being fully decoded. This is mainly because some symbolic associations are rather sparse and fairly rare even at my present age. Still, I feel very happy today with another new breakthrough.

Sewing Machine Bulldozer:

I am mournfully back as I was when I was in my twenties and working for the Onalaska Street Department (not that I was sad at that time - it is just that something seems to be “missing” somehow in-dream). My job at this time was picking up large pieces of eroded embankment (on a fairly difficult inclination) and placing them on the roadside - placing them directly in front of the bulldozer. This was very difficult work and not many could do it for very long. Over time, I begin to be annoyed and tired over why I am even doing this. (It does not dawn on me that I am no longer this age, and do not even live in America anymore.) I am concerned about the speed of the other workers. The bulldozer even bumps me a few times, though not in any harmful way. I grow impatient and realize that I may have missed pieces a far distance back and think that the stretch will have to be worked over again. I do some of the work incorrectly, that is, I bend over to pick up a heavy piece instead of squatting and flinging back. Any sense of weariness of course, is an illusion in-dream. I start to ask myself what I am doing here. Is this where I am supposed to be?

I absentmindedly turn about and put my foot against the blade of the bulldozer. This results in a very strange event. The blade and push frame begin to wobble and very small “plates” fall off the front (reminding me vaguely of “Bathtub with Grill” from June 26, 2015). The exhaust pipe stack begins to move up and down like a “giant” sewing machine needle. It is almost like the tension building up in a cartoon (but not cartoon-like in any way). When I look down, I see that the bulldozer’s blade has actually transformed into an oversized antique sewing machine’s treadle (with floral scroll design), though at an angle and somewhat elevated. My leg is automatically working it to create (and actually sew together, apparently) some sort of clothing within the bulldozer’s cab. It is some sort of gossamer white lacy material flowing out from the side. Around this time there is a very strange mechanical sound behind me and when I dare look, it is a downward rolling “wave” suggesting a ghostly staircase. Soon, it is a luminescent staircase (recurring feature mostly from early 1991 to early 1994). My wife (as she was when we first made contact) in a glowing wedding dress and some sort of oversized tiara (somewhat like a crown) is standing there with a bouquet of flowers. I can see a blue layer of light just under her skin. “I’m not going to be late, am I?” I ask. “I never intended to be la…” (My dream is swept away.)

Connections:

Bulldozer history: I have found some links I did not really fully put together before. “The Dead One” dream (February 13, 1971, age ten - that is, first version of it) had a bulldozer run over Brenda W when I was taking flowers to her late at night on the eve of Valentine’s Day (so that only her hand is seen emerged from the soil and I feel a terrible sense of loss), yet she was resurrected (not in a zombie sense) near the end of my dream, yet “I could not yet have her”. (There were several dreams where she was resurrected, none of them relevant to any zombie lore - more in a divine “ascension” sense.) Brenda was the fully confirmed “stand-in” for my wife-to-be and also appeared in composite forms (such as “The Bad Witch” from March 18, 1978, which had a recurrence on March 23rd - the same date I got my first letter from my wife-to-be in 1991). Other layers - my sister died on February 13th (though the 14th from my perspective at one point in Australia as we are about a day ahead) and my father also died on the 14th of February. I have often associated the bulldozer with mortality and loss as such. Thus, there is very odd synchronicity with only a 1 in 365 chance it would be relevant as such - though it is - and all through my life extremely unlikely synchronicity continued with almost every event and association.

The origins of this (that is, the very seed) may or may not be related to the tree I used to spend time near at primary school. One of my friends used to take palmetto sticks and push sand off the concrete bench, chanting “bulldozer bulldozer”. This was the “same” bench that Brenda was seated in most versions of “Bridge Over a Prehistoric World” (though she also appeared in distorted composites associated with the “dream girl” or “mystery girl” as I preferred).

At any rate, from here, I made somewhat of a breakthrough in one very early version of the “divine staircase”. However, the features are quite different. It turns out to be my “Rocket Science” dream from July 2, 1976. This is not the first version of the implied “soulmate staircase” by any stretch. One of the oldest appears in “The Ghost Marriage” dream from October 16, 1971. I am linking only to the “Rocket Science” dream because of a few odd parallels. Firstly, the white sheet of paper that makes the “staircase” is like a miniature implication of the one in this latest dream (which I never even began to note before for whatever absentminded reason) as well as the commonly recurring ones as already mentioned above. It moved exactly the same way; that is, like a diagonal wave that suggested a complete “pure” or “divine” staircase (phantom or not).

Aside from that, there is also the shared “whirligig” element and the strange “impossible” technology, the “whirligig” obviously being a Merkaba form, but I am not sure what the sewing machine needle and fictional helicopter rotary design “pumping” relates to (well, on a spiritual level that is - some sort of spiritual “motor” or cosmic mechanism perhaps). As most of this had already come about in 1994, it is more like a decoding breakthrough than anything relevant to what may come.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #2??: That Sexy Corner

I think that I'm still waiting to fall asleep, but I start to get that funny dream feeling and realize that I may have blanked out for a bit. I nose pinch and blow right through, becoming lucid!

I will my legs to ooze to the floor, then I'm up and out in an OBE-style lucid. It feels dark and a bit faint, so I rub my hands together and say, "I'm out of bodyyyyyyyy!! Oh yeah, out of body!"

My perspective switches to looking up at the corner where the ceiling meets the walls. This is unexpected, but I just pretend this is what I wanted to look at all along. "Oh yeahh!!" I say. "That sexy corner!"

This seems to give me my control back, and I walk out into hall, vaulting over the railing and walk downstairs. The dream is much better lit now, and I walk over to the front door to look outside. Wife is standing there and I get the sense that she's going to ask me to take care of some chore, and I mentally remind myself not to get caught up in any distracting pseudo-waking life tasks.

This loss of concentration somehow snaps me back to lying in bed. I ooze out onto the floor again, and I mutter something about having to go all the way back down now. My grumpiness seems to take me out of the proper mood and the dream ends.

#456- DILD - 4:49AM

Hell. Why not? A lucid is a lucid. I have had vivid dreams all week and last night was no exception, but I'll be very brief.

I had a very long dream segment were an alien shape-shifting life form wanted to have sex with me and promised to be any woman I so desired. I visualized several very sexy women and the alien obliged me, but I ended just wanting to just be with my wife. I then had two false awakenings were I was trying to "get it" with my wife, but all sorts of crazy things kept interrupting us. I eventually had to go to work and while I was staring at a blueprint, trying to solve a problem with a cable, I became very introspective and suddenly got lucid. The dream instantly began to fade and I spent a couple fuitless moments in the bardo trying to salvage the dream.

#455 - DILD - 1:12AM

I am on a haunted pirate ship and become lucid. I try to sink the ship by biting sections of it, but eventually find the remainder of a dead body. My wife helps me take the body out as I find the teeth in my mouth. I spit them out and wake up.

I am trying to ship from some type of pirate ship. I have an encounter with a ghost that doesn't seem too scary, but then another ghastly one pops out of a wall and scares me. I jump back and find myself on the shore. I see P from work and I say something about only being able to take that in small doses. My heart is racing and take a moment to calm down. I notice that I am holding book and must have had my head in there. I actually enjoyed having such a vivid fright now that it's over.

I walk down a long deck and get back on the pirate ship. I need to find the source of the haunting so all of this will stop. I think maybe I should sink the ship, but as I am walking around the deck I realize that I must be dreaming. The dream almost fades here, but I focus visually on the ocean and the dock below. Everything becomes much more vivid and I continue on my way.

I wonder around many areas of the ship still caught up in the plot and trying to find a way to end the haunting. I see a section of piping coming out of a wall and wonder if I could just eat the ship apart. I bite the piping several times, but only feel as though me teeth pass through and clamp down on nothing. I give up and wonder to the aft of the ship.

My lucidity slips and I somehow find myself standing outside the ship and I open it like a car trunk. Water spills out along with bags of human remains. There is blood and gore mixed in and I decide that if we free this poor person the haunting will stop. My randomly shows up and helps me out. As some point I stop because I somehow get the corpse's teeth in my mouth. I spit them out with gooey blood into the water. I'm in shock as I watch the teeth float with globs of blood as I start to wake up.

Another super long dream about a boy meeting with Godzilla, but the police want to control the meeting. I help the boy try to avoid the police as Godzilla comes on a train. There is a confusing run from the cops and the boy gets away, but I am caught. I sit in a chair surrounded by some tough looking guys. They tell me this is my life now and I accept it.

My wife wants to buy a house, but we have some agreement to stay a night before we decide. The more I look my more ridiculous things I find wrong with the house. I make the decide not to buy the house and my wife is very upset. I tell her that I might be able to over look a few things if it wasn't in town. I push the point that we need to actually sell our house first.

Just a quick post to record a LD I had a few nights ago...

I am with old friend Carrie at her house. There are streams running from room to room and we are riding inner tubes. We are having some conversation, but get interrupted by a phone call. As she talks I look around and notice that we are flowing out the front door into a river. I look around then up. I see the day time moon with a shining set of rings around it. The rings start rotating around and I recognize this dream sign (odd things in the sky) and I know that I am dreaming.

I notice that my wife is now with us on her own inner tube. Being lucid I think that I should do something with this dream so I stand up in the water and try to think. While I stand there my wife goes into the water and starts sucking my finger. I pull my hand away and then put it back. She starts sucking again and I absentmindedly feel around in her mouth. I am so shocked that I don't even know what to do with this dream. I just stand there unable to think with my finger in her mouth until I wake up.

Thu, 21 May 2015:
1st feel transitioned to dream but float to confirm. Slow! Yes. Darkish. Wife gets out of bed and goes to toilet. I wonder if she did in waking and go in front of toilet and dance around to see if I get a reaction. Not really but she looks up and either she has no face or it is blurred and hard to make out. Shortly after back in bed needing to turn over.

Later after a WBTB, I get comfortable. I feel I have transitioned again but when I make a small move to get out of bed it feels like I risk moving my waking body and waking up. I try to float again but nothing and then I mentally push my whole body towards the right front corner of my bad and my dream by jumps up on to the corner of the bed! I walk out of the room this time and out to the loft

and I think about my day time visualization: floating up and then over the loft and I do. I float down to the landing or ledge where we could display items but we don't. From there I float down to the floor. I get some audio of my son asking me what I'm doing but I know it's just from the dream I head to front door and I walk out. Before I walk out I can hear what sounds like a crowd of people outside and I like that I will be able to walk through the crowd and pick out some beautiful DC's! as I walk out there is a crowd and I find one girl.

Spoiler for sexual content:

Stick it in her mouth

and then I think how I wanted and planned to go about things like this more consensually. I cross the street and there are 3 women wearing choir robes like you might see in church. I think about the church connection but continue over there with my dirty intentions. I look at them with the look that I know they all want a piece of me and one by one they go to work

Spoiler for sexual content:

on my ahem. They make it grow larger and larger with the skillful pleasuring using their mouths and tongues and one of them comments how big it is getting. this goes on for several minutes and at one point I notice that one of the women has a vagina on her lower stomach. odd but not freaky, as I reflect how I am fully aware that this is all my dream. I talk about how one of them needs to get on and take a ride

and there's a little girl nearby that approaches and starts crying. I decided I had enough and switched to consoling her. I no longer felt like I was naked but neither did I put on any clothes or really consider this. I tried to commit to memory what she was saying as she was crying but that part is gone. She hugs me back as she cries.

I walked back to the other side of the street and there was another woman crying a little more gently, whereas the girl was more sobbing. I was going through the dream details in my head to better commit them to memory when I felt what was a false awakening but I wasn't sure at first. I was back in my bed and my wife was playfully touching my arm but then started tickling me under my arm and I kind of moan like she is going to wake me up but I tried to feel if I was still asleep and decided that indeed I was. I did an in dream wild again (like earlier in the month) closing my dream eyes until a new scene forms through my closed dream eyes or maybe I open them up gently but either way I was in a long room not very wide but plenty of space. There were a number of pieces of equipment to the end of the room in front of me and this pilot or astronaut in a suit

like a pressure suit and there was a small one man rocket or flight craft that was warming up its' engines

and pointing towards the ceiling though there wasn't really a ceiling or a sky but mind you this all felt very indoors. he gets down from the rocket contraption having started the warm up process and is talking to me and something in my head makes me wonder what they wear under that suit and he hears my thoughts and unzips his outfit and shows me that he is naked underneath. I see his penis and everything. he's zips it back up and continues to prepare. I look back towards the part of the room I was in before that was basically behind me when I was facing the astronaut guy and my son is sitting and doing his studies and back towards where the astronaut was there is now a TV and something risque is on TV. it seems to be some r-rated version of MTV where some chunky lady is walking around without a top on. I start to lose a little lucidity here as I wonder if we should change the channel but after a bit I realized it doesn't matter regaining some lucidity. I start thinking about how it seems like the scene is going on for a long time and I start thinking about my goals. I jump to memory peg number 5 and after a bit of a scene fade I find myself standing over my wife

who is sitting in a chair in our dining room. number 5 is the smell task of the month and I remember how I smelled her hair earlier in the day freshly washed with a nice scent to it and the dream seems to replicate the scent but it was a little more faint almost as if the dream accounted for the time that has passed since the fresh washing of the hair. I then think about how I reset memory peg number 2 back to the lucid dare to become a tree and I start stretching out my arms like the branches of the tree and my feet down like the roots and I get the sensation of my torso and arms growing and expanding upwards

but I'm not too sure how much of a tree I became with no mirror around. I then thought of memory peg number 6 and this is the talking to the monster under your bed for task of the month. I decide that there is a bed just ahead and I walk that way but I don't see one and the dream is fading a bit and I decide that I will just arrive back in bed, my dream bed and then I can get out of bed and talk to the monster from there but it doesn't work and I soon find myself back in my actual bed needing to urinate but I stay still and try to reenter the dream but eventually realize I am too wake and need to relieve myself before trying anything else. when I go back to bed I do get a lot of great visualisations that seem to take legs which like in my previous LD aftermath several days ago I wondered if I might be in a dream state with the amount of effect I have over what seems like HH's. very long lucid series! 8 milligrams of G + 500 milligrams of choline. #326 & 327

#438 - DILD - 2:17AM

Total day residue...

I am in some sort of sport medicine clinic like an expo or something. Some really old woman is trying to check out my legs. I have some sort of bandage wrap and there is pressure put on my some machine. The woman keeps hacking and coughing and seems to feel really ill. Another, younger woman comes to take over. I am put in different positions on a table. I feel super sleepy. Several nurses flirt with me and I feel awesome about that. One nurse says that my spine is fractured and I need a prescription for it. She tells me that her husband takes a lot of vitamin A and that helps his back. I overhear another nurse going on about how cute I am. I feel embarrassed, but flattered. I leave.

I am somehow mildly lucid now. I have left the expo, but I'm still in the same building. A Star Wars scenario is playing out and I get swept up in the storyline. I am running with Han Solo and the Imperial forces are attacking. The building rumbles and quakes from that attack. The walls crack and parts of ceiling falls. I am at a stair well and I can't decide if I want to go up or down. I tell Han Solo that up is for high command. Down would take us out. Han runs up and I stay not sure what to do. I see a door that says Summit Meeting. I decide to run down.

In a new hallway, a lady that I know from waking life is standing there telling everyone to get out. She's pointing down the hall. She doesn't seem too worried with that huge grin on her face. I run down the hallway and enter a large section of the building. It seems like a movie studio. There is stripes on walls and large numbers by doors. I see a large 8. A fat man in a rebel uniform runs past with a droid and a civilian.



He says how this solar system sucks [Earth's solar system]. I say, "Yeah it sucks, but not Earth. I love Earth. It's my home." I see a cheap revolver on the floor and pick it up.

I continue running down another hallway. I have someone running with me that I don't really look at much. We make it outside into the night and my lucidity level jumps considerably. I see a Stormtrooper in the ground flipping around and spazzing out like some horrible video game glitch. I hear someone say to shoot him as a mercy. I fire a shot to his head and run away. I consider how my gun seems to be silenced. There are other Stormtroopers shooting at us. The guy with me picks up a Star Trek phaser off the ground and starts shooting stormtroopers.



I see red laser bolts taking down Stormtroopers. I say, "Pretty." I shoot at some more stormtroopers. My gun just click like dry fire, but I see them fall so I don't care. Since this is a dream, it's like I'm just pretending away. However, I can't get over the fact my gun feels like a plastic toy.



Rebels and Stormtroopers are dying all around me as I run. I am in a residential area with house and a gas station. Everything is less Star Wars like now. There is sort of military style off-road vehicle in a driveway.



I hop in and punch it in reverse. I notice the ceiling is way too low but I try to ignore it. My friend is not with me anymore and for some reason I feel the need to find him so we can both escape. I drive around a bit, but the ceiling is bothering me too much. I realize I can easily fix that, so I push up on it until it stretches out to a comfortable height. I spot my buddy on a storage container with Doc from Back To The Future. I tell them to get in but my friend is now a picture in a frame. I stretch my arm out super long, grab the picture, and put it in the seat next to me. Doc says something about how I have to leave him. I back out, push a button, and pretend I'm in a helicopter. The vehicle hovers some, but I can't get much height. I start looking in the distance, but there is only dark void beyond the few houses around me. I sit idle unsure what to do next. I think it would be cool if Doc got killed somehow. As soon as I think that, I hear a missile swoosh past me and Doc goes up in a fireball. Nice! I wonder if I should try flying into the void or if I should just wake up so I can write all this down. I sit idle for a few moments longer and decide to just open my eyes.

Non Lucid
Earlier in the night I dreamed I was lying in bed next to my wife outside in the woods. I see some sort of have chicken half dinosaur eating deer. I hear a generic slurping sound from the dino. I get out my phone and take video. As I watch I worry that the dino will see us. I stay as still as possible, but it notices and leaps toward us. I shout at my wife to run, but she wont wake up. I feel panicked. I look up and see the dinosaurs giant gray chicken foot come down on me. Then nothing but gray void.

I am now... under the bed? Underground? My wife now looks different. She's ready to go kill the dino. She puts up her hair super fast and I hear some cheesy winding sound. I laugh. Her hair detached and she puts it on over her other hair like a large hat. She kisses me and her nose feels extra long. I hold her and we make out a bit. She says shes ready to go, but I stop her and say we have to do something first. I pull her yoga pants down and have sex with her. Things get intense and I wake up.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #266: Whoopy Cough

I’m gazing out the window of my kitchen at my back yard. The fence is oddly low, and I see a young girl walking by with her dog. I’m astonished to see that the girl has the head of a blue hippo stuffed animal. When I mentally reality check in response to this, I realize that I must be dreaming.

I turn away from the window and the scene gets a little unstable, breaking into three rectangular pieces that seem to move independently and slide past one another. I relax and take it slow, rubbing my hands together, walking calmly around, talking out loud, and finally licking each hand.

The scene feels reasonably stable, but my vision is almost entirely faded out now. I imagine that I have a big pair of glasses covering my vision and take them off. (The glasses look just like a set of Oculus Rift virtual reality goggles.) Immediately, my vision is crystal clear and I have a completely realistic view of my kitchen!

Wife is standing in the den near my desk. “Hey!” I say to her. “I was having trouble for a second, but we’re in my lucid dream right now!”

She looks around a bit, saying something like, “Is that what this is?”

“I was thinking I’d either take you for a fly or…” I say.

“Yoooouuuuuuuuu…” Wife interrupts, pointing her finger at me dramatically, “want sex!”

“Or, right, that was my other idea.”

Spoiler for Somewhat strange, rather racy part:

We walk over to the couch, and now she’s wearing a negligee, which she quickly shrugs off as she lays down on the couch. She looks amazing! I'm incredibly excited but as I approach, her lady parts produce a loud, unmistakable coughing sound.

“Did you... just cough from there?” I ask, shocked but still no less interested than before.

Wife looks behind her and to the right, as if she heard someone or something approaching. “Hurry, we haven’t got much time!” she says. Just before we get started, though...

...the dream ends.

#425 - DILD - 7:14AM

After the last LD I try meditating again, but fall asleep.

I am in some restaurant and there is food and trash all over the carpet. Someone tells me to get in uniform and help clean. I take a snapchat of the mess. I am in uniform and I walk into another part to see how I can help, but I see things are mostly managed now. I pass what I think is a manager. I try covering the company emblem on my shirt as I pass. I feel stupid for putting the uniform on and wish I could change.

I realize that I am on a cruise ship and I look for my sister Angie who is always going on cruises. I step outside on to the deck and look around. The ship is massive and looks like a small town. I see the water beyond and get vertigo as I realize were actually moving. I say to my wife, "You really do forget that you're on a boat." We all move toward the very tip of the bow and watch the water. We are coming into a bay area with high cliffs. There is what looks like a hill in the water and is mostly wet sand. We somehow power up it and I see water trying to flood the stern. As we level out, I see everyone has come outside. They all start cheering and clapping. The ship starts to dock, but bumps into something. I think of the Titanic and worry. A jet of water pushes the ship sideways and a voice says something about trying again. Then, I see a large rusted steel bar in front of the ship. Something like a dinosaur neck and head extends from someplace behind me. It latches on the bar and chews on it. It acts to stabilize and dock the ship. A voice says something about the dinosaur sharpening it's teeth this way, but it leaves a black residue. The dino turns and shows us its grayish, nubby teeth.

I am now laying on the floor next to some other guys in football uniforms paired with cheerleaders in wedding dresses in a pattern. The rest of the team comes in and wonders what's going on. This is a pep rally and we got roped into being apart of the performance. Music starts and we all get up and start some synchronized dancing. Of course, me and half the others have no idea what we are doing and do our best to keep up. The lyrics say, "Dance with me. Dance with me." So me and another cheerleader who looks a lot like Anna Kendrick start slow dancing. I am overly aware of the feel of her close to me, one arm around her waist, and her hand in my other. We are both feeling awkward and stop dancing. We laugh and both admit that we had no idea what we were doing. The song stops and we turn and sit close to each other on the floor. I am glad she stayed next to me. My old high school buddy Jason his on stage with a band. He's saying stuff to get the crowd excited and is generally acting way out of character. I start thinking about how dumb I felt during the dancing and wonder how I even got myself in this situation. I think something about the next time I am in a dream... Wait this IS a dream! I am a little unsure about this thought at first, but it only takes a millisecond to realize it's true. The dream starts crashing so I do the only thing I could think of to stabilize. I turn to the very hot Anna Kendrick look-a-like and resume dancing with her. Of course, this time I am much more confident and our dancing becomes dirty and we grind while I feel her up. This soon turns into sex and the hottie turns into my ex-wife. I lose my arousal and wonder, WHY? OH GOD WHY? I then realize it's a part of my past and just a memory. I appreciate it for what it is and the good times we once had. I let the scene play it self out without taking control or making decisions. I wake up.

#412 - DILD - 6:35AM

I am walking up a hill with my younger daughter and son. For some reason I am going to some apartments to take a swim. I tell myself that if I am going to live here, I need to figure out how to park on the other side so I don't have to walk so far all the time. Some triggers semi-lucidity and the walk up the hill feels hard and slow. I realize that this is all a mental thing and tell myself to just pretend that it's all super easy and it will be. It works for a second and gets difficult again at the last few steps.

I am inside the apartment but it all looks really odd. I feel this is normal for a dream so I let it go and try to ignore it. I have my son in my arms and for some reason think I need to put him down for a nap. There is a door way that I think leads to his bedroom, but when I open it, it is just a broom closet. I know this is all pointless so I unceremoniously toss my son into the darkest part of the closet and walk way. I feel a mental tug to do it right, but I don't want to get caught up in mundane tasks in a dream. I am still really caught up in going swimming so I try to find the back door. As I make my way outside, I pass though some tiny kitchen that I recognize to look like a small version of the duplex I used to live in.

Outside, my lucidity raises as I look around for a pool. I see an above ground pool to the right, but quickly reject that. I look to the left and see my younger daughter jumping into a large in-ground pool. Excited, I run and jump and yell, "JEEEERRRONIMOOOOO!", as I belly flop into the pool. As I make impact I worry that my vision will get distorted and I end up in the void. Of course, this thought manifests as I see a blur of blue and air bubbles and the dream fades.

The lights come on and I wake up with my son in the bed with me and my wife. He's crying and some liquid has pooled up all over the sheets. Not sure if he peed out of his diaper, I ask, "Why is everything so wet?"
My wife just says, "He's been crying." I realize that there is no way a kid can tear up that much and remember that I was just now dreaming that I was swimming. The lights do out and I roll over and make swimming motions in the dark until I reach my wife. I start kissing her and decide maybe some sexy-time would be nice. The light returns and my wife stops me. She asks, "Right now? [in front of R?]
I tell her that it doesn't matter [in a dream]. We continue to enjoy each other, but I wake up before we get very far.