• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Tuesday, May 17

      by , 06-01-2022 at 10:09 PM
      I’m outside somewhere, maybe an apartment complex. I have Stella with me and notice a couple with a dog approaching. It looks like a black border collie and I recognize it as a dog Stella has seen several times but hasn’t been able to meet. Stella notices the dog, but the couple keeps approaching. The man, shirtless and fit, wearing sunglasses and a stoic expression, asks if he can ask me something. I say yes and then ask if our dogs can meet because they’re so close right now and haven’t gotten to meet. He amicably says yes and I explain that she gets frustrated when she’s on leash and can’t meet other dogs. Their dog, what now looks like a retriever, sits by me and playfully chews on my fingers. I clearly feel its sharp little teeth. Stella is very close but is largely ignoring the dog. Now one of them jumps to his back and he catches it with his hands behind his back. He never asks me what he was going to.



      I’m walking into a building, a restaurant or something similar. I’m also a woman or dressed as one. I have on a light blonde wig that is not very convincing. I think I also have women’s clothes on. There is attention on me as I walk through to the restroom; I’m aware that I don’t fully look like a woman and stand out to judgmental people but don’t really care. I walk with confidence. There’s a small 90 degree hallway into the restroom, the floor of which is very cluttered with what looks like green foam blocks. They’re hard to get around and I think of what a hazard/liability they are. In the restroom now, the urinals are taken and 2-3 people are waiting. (I went into the men’s, slightly unsure, because I think I still have a penis). I notice two stereotypical straight white men who I know are going to throw a fit about me being in here.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    2. Bringing Dream Characters Out of Dream

      by , 05-28-2022 at 11:21 PM
      This is an older dream.

      I was in a world that had crumbled. Everything was surrounded by a white void, and the remains of the universe floated in fragments through space. There were mountains, roads, cars, buildings, and fragments of asphalt and other materials floating around.

      The universe was still in the process of being consumed. In the distance, I could see the edges of the mountains being dissolved by something that looked like a wall of blue electricity or dust.
      In my dragon's form, I flew around in search of remaining life, and spotted a woman standing on a fragment of the remaining road.

      The brunette woman stood at the edge of the road coming off of a driveway. There was a house nearby that I presume was her home.
      She stared out at the dissolving mountains.
      When I landed next to her as my human self, she didn't look at me, but spoke.
      "This is the end, isn't it?"

      I turned and watched the mountains with her, and nodded.
      I could feel my body waking. It was morning.
      "I have to go soon. Do you want to come with?" I asked her and she looked at me in surprise.

      It took her a moment to respond, but as soon as she agreed, I turned back into my dragon and picked her up, carrying her as I traveled straight into the void.

      I woke up in my bed. When I looked up, I saw the figure of the woman standing at the end of the bed.
      "Thank you." she said and then faded away.

      Updated 11-29-2022 at 11:48 PM by 99032

      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    3. ccclxxxv. Alien collective invades, Questioning if I'm really me

      by , 05-26-2022 at 05:10 PM
      2022 May 9th

      Some in-line notes.

      7:50
      Fragment:
      (woke up sweating, vivid long dream)
      Some build-up or something; there are aliens and we are fighting them off as a whole, but only just barely so. It's revealed these aliens are just a scouting party and they are part of a larger conglomerate of alien species. During the dream I see several different scenes just as an observer.

      Meanwhile, there's chaos as a human leader, a woman with short hair, declares that nobody has rights anymore, and that we are moving into a new era beyond our conventional conception of rights. She sounds or seems delusional in some way. I think I saw her give this announcement on some TV thing, but just as an observer.

      Then I'm in a town, outside. There's a modern feel to the area and the previous announcement had been broadcast on the radio, though I didn't hear this myself as a character.

      There's an RPG element to reality but it feels absolutely real in every other way.

      I survive an attack and fight my way into some place. I am constantly chased by aliens or possibly their machines. Eventually, I use some fast-travel mechanic. Once at my destination, I meet up with a friendly robot. It explains that this worm thing has moved to the edge of reality, it looks like a Combine alien. (In retrospect this whole bit makes me think of the original Dune film)

      Normally, reality moves independently of what's in it. But being at the edge curves reality and causes this high pitch noise to be heard throughout the entire dream. And now, in it's current state, reality moves with the contents. This means there's a very big danger to existence itself and all this chaos makes it worse to deal with. (This segment made no sense at all after waking, but during the dream everything seemed to make sense; there were implied laws of reality that were taken for granted and the whole thing had a semi-mystical aspect to it)

      10:15
      Fragment:
      (most of recall lost for needing to answer door)

      In one bit, I'm this woman, a diver, and I'm coming out of some water into a house or apartment through the floor. It's night time or the house is dark, some lights are on. I'm sort of on the floor, tummy down. A TV is in front of me. I think to myself, "am I actually myself?" and then, just as I'm about to do a reality check with my hands, this other woman with curly hair comes out of a doorframe, smiles at me and we start talking. We know each other as characters. At this point I think to myself that I like her body. I still try to do the reality check, but because of the conversation and social setting, I end up not focusing enough on my reality check.
    4. ccclxxx. Sunken temple, character shading, fight between two women

      by , 05-07-2022 at 01:20 PM
      26th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about WoW. I remember discussing Sunken Temple in chat and also being near the actual place.


      28th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about drawing. I draw or notice in a character drawing, some different way of shading around the edges? (Wish I'd retained recall better)


      29th April 2022

      ~9:00
      Fragment:

      (Left recall too long, about two hours from waking)

      A dream bit where I'm either an observer or just watching in some sense. These two women are fighting each other, one of them is in her mid fourties or so and she's using a pole or something like one to attack the other woman. She has semi Asian features but would otherwise seem Caucasian, with a sort of gristly and greying black wavy hair.

      The other woman is in her mid twenties or so. She's white, has straight black hair. The area is like some outdoor stone steps, cream colours, modern architectural feel.

      As the two of them fight, the younger one starts growing, at first only her breasts but then all of her, proportionally. The older woman remarks cheekily on this and the growing younger woman complains that now she won't be able to go to the ball or gala (?) and in the end her breasts end up being smaller in proportion compared to how they were before the growth. She's also upset about the fact that she won't be able to get any clothes to fit her now.

      (Dream went on, rest of recall was lost)


      Notes:

      - Mostly some notes for the last fragment: It is not too typical for me to be present in a dream only as an observer, though it does happen. In this case however, the relation between the dream characters seems like a dynamic that might happen between some of my characters like S and N, though with a detached relationship between each other in this case.

      - The older woman had more air of confidence to herself than the younger one did, and if anything the younger woman had more anger to her. This may be a reflection of what I've found through my own conscious and waking retrospection as I've gotten older.

      - In a sense, both women were the same woman. The older woman could be said to be an altered or warped version of the younger and what she lacked in drive she made up for in the self-confidence; this seems evident from how she made a cheeky remark when the younger woman started growing, rather than being intimidated by the fact. And likewise, the younger woman's angry drive became more of a hapless confusion as the situation changed unexpectedly, her concerns turning away from the immediate fighting (perhaps because the threat appeared diminished relative to her) and onto concerns about a unspecified future (the clothes, the ball/gala).

      - A side note here, S and N appeared as characters mostly through non-conscious manifestation, whilst their development became partly consciously adopted. So for me the relationship between these two women in this dream is of special interest because it happened entirely out of a non-conscious dynamic, which evolved on its own. I had no influence or interaction, I was simply an observer, which meant that their development was not influenced by my thought, because as the type of observer I was, I had no specific thoughts, perhaps because any part of me that was capable of thought and emotion was inhabiting the women, whilst the senses themselves were not removed from my point of view, as an observer.
    5. Captive slave forced to paint famous portaits murals

      by , 03-08-2022 at 05:52 AM
      Sorry I haven't been posting. I been having some weird dreams. Here are two of January's dreams.


      In a dream I think before the following dream.
      I was in a vertical school. I have no idea what I was doing in there. Anyway for some reason I went into the staff room. I have no idea what happened but I think either a porucipine or a hedgehog came into the staff room via an open window and for some reason started to bite me. I just remember dream-screaming and then I woke up to use the washroom


      In one dream I had in January. I was something like a captive. Nope, not captive, but a slave? But I wasn't the only captive/slave . All but one of the group of people all looked like the adult versions of kids I went to elementary school with from JK-Gr.8. And we're tasked by our unseen "Master" to paint some murals (murals, that if I remember looked much like famous paintings.. I think something like Birth of Venus? We were up all night and all previous day and I somehow started to fall asleep on the shoulder another captive/slave (I can't remember what he looked like but he wasn't one of the adults version of kids I grew up with) But I do know that I knew it was a bad idea if i slept sleep was bad.


      The third dream was even werid. But I don't remember much about that dream except, for it involved two women and their heads somehow turned into whatever help people see in submarines. And it also involved a boy whom was wet and a white staircase. And also a festival and I think some kind of doll. I think it had something to do about a flood? At the end of the dream the boy at least "disappeared" into the water
    6. ccclxix. Crowded school, Government lady, Assassins investigation, Space exodus

      by , 03-02-2022 at 12:05 AM
      19th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Some bit outside with childhood friend D. Unusually, he's sad or depressed, in an angry sort of way. There's a city road and cars, they seem abandoned?

      Later. In a school place with H; there's some Chinese children and we have to walk through this room where some of the children are, to get to the teacher's desk. We have to be careful because the room is somewhat packed. The teacher is male and speaks in English to us.


      20th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about factions and such. There's a sort of palatial and governmental-like building with guards, who tell me to take my boots off. In a certain part of the dream, playing soccer against my cousin T; we're both bare foot and she kicks me on the genitals as we're playing. It feels purposeful? I tell this lady supervising us that this isn't fair and that I would play better with my boots on anyway. This lady supervising is some sort of regional regent. There is no sense of a waking-world country being related to this place and its government.

      (later) In the kitchen. Putting something for H in the red thermos (the one from family).


      22nd February 2022

      ~6:00-10:00
      Fragment (DFLN):

      In some kind of base or complex. The walls are plain concrete or metal and there's a dry-green tinge. There's only artificial lighting and I can't recall daylight at any point. I interact with other characters though I mostly only vaguely recall a segment on some kind of descending shaft with a stairwell or something. A group of assassins that I'm investigating or something? Following a trail perhaps. In this cylindrical shaft with the stairwell I find a katana with a gilded pattern both on the hilt and at the base of the blade, the edge may be gilded too. I discuss the blade with someone, a woman(?) nearby, as I inspect it.

      Fragment:
      Space. Going towards the edge of the galaxy with a fleet. I encounter a previously unknown race which sells or trades with us for some technology blueprints they have available, including blueprints for a battlecruiser, or perhaps a battleship. I see a HW-like user interface and accept the exchange. I remember thinking that it would be very helpful to have some extra firepower because of others with overwhelming numbers.

      Then, in a further region of space, further along towards the galaxy edge I think. Something about space or reality is distorted in this region.


      26th February 2022

      Scraps:

      Something about cotton buds; blue stalks, in a clear plastic tub, round?


      Notes:

      - I've recently been playing Homeworld, so that's probably part of why there was this theme in the last fragment. Though in the Homeworld games there's mostly a focus towards going towards the galaxy core, as there is in some other similarly themed sci-fi games. In the dream, there was more of a sense of exodus away from the central areas, which also relates partly with the Homeworld story. When I've recently played the game again, I gave the story a lot more thought than the first times I played the games, years ago.

      - It's curious that there was the theme with the assassins and the katana. I've recently had very vague thoughts about playing Divine Cybermancy again and I feel that the themes in that dream were partly intrusions from these thoughts.

      - The bit where I'm playing soccer with my cousin, I think we're both adults and it's like she's implied to be an agent for this unknown government. I think in the dream I had a more connected sense of what was what but if I did, I couldn't hold on to recall it after waking.
      - We were playing in a room and the whole thing felt like some kind of test. I imagine the low-blow has some kind of metaphorical meaning, anything relating to blows or hits to the area is a rare event in my dreams, and usually feels especially symbolic for some reason, perhaps in part due to its rarity too. There was also a sunset and cinematic-like feel, despite the fact I was myself in first-person.
    7. 6 Sep: Visiting parallel universes and trapped in a glitchy one

      by , 09-06-2021 at 10:04 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I have been entering a cave or underground shaft as a means to hide or escape from something, but it leads me to a parallel universe, which also reveals to be dangerous. I almost get killed in the middle of some conflict and I rush back to my universe.
      I then meet a woman who is somehow connected to this multiverse. She can switch between universes with just hand gestures. She has a big guy with her, like a body guard, but he always stays in the background and doesn't say a word. She shows me one or two safe universes as a friendly introduction. Then she warns me we're going to a stranger one. She says it is a split or incomplete universe and to be careful there, as it can be disorienting, but she never makes it sound dangerous. Once there, all I can say is that all matter appears to be glitched, as graphics on a computer that didn't render correctly. Everything looks like it has missing pixels or misplaced parts. Walls have like cubic blocks sticking out randomly, the floor has like gaps that seem to be holes in the space-time fabric. She warns me to mind the gaps and then she leads me into an elevator. The floor his weird, with a slit in the middle. I show concern and she kinda mocks me, but then remembers "oh, shit, don't press the button to descend, we have to go up." She says there is a glitch in it and if we press down, the floor opens up and we fall, but not to the elevator shaft, actually to the void of space-time. I become uncomfortable and tell her I wanna leave. But the glitches also settle in people's minds sometimes and she can't remember which hand gesture she has to do to takes us away from here. She makes several tries and gives up laughing. She says she will eventually remember, but for now she takes me to an apartment where apparently she stays when in this world. She asks me to be her helper / personal assistant while we're here. But she starts behaving like a demented person. Some times she is clear headed and she is a normal person whom I help with pleasure, and then she turns into an evil bitch who treats me like shit. But I can't raise my voice or defend myself, because I depend entirely on her to get out of here.
      She has 2 cats and a small dog and they are not very nice, I don't know why. They stay mainly in one room and don't trust people. Then it starts raining outside and she puts a leash on the black cat and drags him down the corridor to the balcony on the living room. I am already freaking out for the poor cat. But then she hangs him by the neck with the leash, over the balcony. Saying she is giving him a bath under the rain. I yell and pull the poor cat back in and she is possessed. Calls me names, humiliates me, threatens me. But I don't care anymore and I plan to leave her house as soon as possible and take the animals with me.
    8. cccx. Survival island

      by , 07-30-2021 at 01:37 AM
      28th July 2021

      Several bits around the same theme of survival.

      Fragment:

      I'm watching a video, or TV broadcast. It's about a survival show on a large island. They're saying "in our previous show only a few survivors could manage to scratch a living but now up to seven million tribals will be competing!", something like that. There's this image super-imposed over a panning view of a tropical island. The super-imposed image is an idle animation of some white tribals posing together, forming a sort of pyramidal composition as is often seen in group photos. I think to myself that the older existing tribes won't take kindly to such a number of newcomers.

      I also think to myself that I'd rather be there myself, playing, rather than just watching TV.

      (transition or recall gap, chronology got messed up in recording the dream)

      I'm on a sandy and sunny beach, it's near noon judging by the sun. I later become aware that to my left there is a jungle or forest area and further left and close-by is a ruined town or city. I came out of some kind of drop pod and I see someone else who just has too. I'm not sure whether or not I should trust someone else at this point.

      Then some raptors about our own size appear and they start harassing each of us. I hit them with something and try to grasp them by the neck and try to twist and break them. I possibly kill one or two and help the other person out, a woman. Then when we're in close proximity, one of the raptors is trying to steal something from me, and it succeeds. I try to catch the raptor and it behaves like a cheeky dog and I may be slightly annoyed. The woman recommends I let go and don't bother chasing the animal. I eventually let go and the raptor stops being cheeky and just ruins off into the ruined city.

      (recall gap)

      Still with the same woman? She needs to send an e-mail to someone and I know there aren't many places where she can do that, here. We go into a building that I was in before at some point in the dream. Inside, it's dark. Lots of dark brown colour, like rust. There are many mechanical mechanisms and there are a few desktop computers set up in a cramped corridor.

      There are many things here that I know to have been set up by H in the dream. I sit at some chair or something in front of a computer. I'm trying to change the plugs around back so that she can use this old Windows 95 machine, because I still don't fully trust her and figure that this way she won't be able to release any viruses intentionally, or accidentally. For some reason I'm struggling with the plugs. The video connection coming out of the W95 machine is almost like a USB but the shape is slightly different and won't fit into the even weirder input shape on the other computer, or screen.

      I eventually give up and just let her use the normal computer, feeling that I can trust her just enough anyway.

      (recall gap)

      Something about another building or another part of this same building. There's some small weird water gremlin bug thing... In actuality it looks a bit like a grey coloured shrimp but in the dream I think of it as crayfish. I am nervous around it because it moves erratically and I don't like its look and the look of its "whiskers".



      Notes:

      - The next day, I was using some Firewire stuff with H to set up a microphone for me to use. At the time, that made me think of the USB-like plugs in the dream, because Firewire is not too different in the physical look of the ends and its intended purpose is similar anyway.

      - My nervousness around the grey creature was related both to shallow standing water in that area and also to the residual feelings of fright or jump-scare I still get from, for example, some arachnids.
      -- I do not particularly like shrimp, neither in look or smell, though I can't say I recall their taste. I always thought they looked a bit too "bug"-like to eat, despite their popularity in my native region.

      - I had to look up crayfish because I couldn't actually remember what they looked like; the dream creature really didn't resemble them.
    9. cclxxxi. Lady playing on consoles, Automated office building, Scraps

      by , 06-07-2021 at 01:57 PM
      7th June 2021

      Fragment:

      At some version of my current home. Through the office window, I see a flatbed trailer with organ and piano consoles on it. It implies the room is actually at ground floor. I am excited when I see a lady playing on the consoles as I approach the window. I go out of the room and call H to come and see; he comes with me to the room to look but now she's actually in the room, which seems to have expanded in width. I try to get her attention but she's focused on her playing and she's wearing headphones but eventually realises and we say hello to each other and so on. She then talks to H about something, she seems happy or content, smiling at us a lot. There was more to this dream but I cannot recall it now.


      Dream:

      In a city, I'm by a body of water. I enter a skyscraper building located here. It's empty of people but has automated systems in place and is not abandoned. Sliding doors open automatically and I enter a huge ground floor lobby. The building heavily features tinted glass and there's a blood red colour scheme which on some level I really enjoy. There's a sunset, but I don't see it directly, just its effect of light and shadow length. In the lobby, I nervously but excitedly approach a lift entrance, the doors slide open immediately as I get close.

      There's a console in this bit which isn't the actual elevator yet, I use a password "number3" and I'm relieved when it works. Another set of doors, like mall lift doors but sort of like blast doors, slide open and I enter the lift proper now. It quickly takes me up to the top of the building or something, an off-limits area. I exit the lift and enter a sealed room with no windows, some glass sliding doors opening as I walk in, into a second room that really didn't require that separation by the glass doors. The colour scheme remains the same. I know I'm trespassing and fear being caught, but I revel in the fact there's nobody around.

      I use the same password as before at a computer terminal at the end of the room, it's in a sort of alcove and it's a touch-screen which had sort of flipped itself around towards me. The terminal grants me access to lots of things, but I'm not sure what. I return to this dream location through the exact same process later on in the dream, but when I do, I arrive at the building in H's van and am talking to him over the phone.

      I remember another part in-between the two times at the building, in the middle of the city instead. I hear a group of guys talking trash. One guy says he listens to people's life stories of things gone horribly wrong or traumatic events and then he himself manipulates people by copying these stories and pretending they actually happened to him even though they didn't. Eventually, feeling I heard enough, I feel angry and come out around the corner I was listening from. I walk towards where his voice was, but now there's nobody there, even though I remember seeing them just before. I'm still charged with the emotion and don't stop myself from having a go at him verbally, even if he's not there anymore.

      Suddenly I take notice of and become distracted by some buildings that are here in front of me. They're very concrete-like, bare, no windows, like they're half-finished but in the dream I feel they are more half-abandoned. I enter one to my right, it goes further than it looked like it would and feels like I'm sort of walking into an industrial area. I go up a low incline concrete ramp. Here, I see an alien egg and shoot at it with something which makes it burst and then something scurries out but I somehow capture it at a distance using something else. Ahead, there are more eggs and I have a proximity scanner (not unlike in Alien). I shoot these eggs and they all burst in a sequence, again crawling facehugger things come out and I try to capture them all, only just managing to do so. I was concerned that if they got away there would be too many drones (I remember imagining this).


      Scraps:


      Mom, dad and T. I'm getting a drink and talking to dad, in a kitchen that looked like it was part of some hotel rooms I remember us staying in when I was a kid.

      Some other dream involving M/M themes or something.

      A different dream where someone was commenting that my junk was too visible through my clothes, I felt resentment at the comment as I felt it was not in my control.



      Quick Edited Notes:

      - Re-reading the main dream I realised that it's somewhat unlike most of my more recent dreams, which to my memory seem much more emotionally neutral.

      - Alien related theme probably came from recently watching some of that stuff again. The link with concrete doesn't seem clear but the concrete in itself may relate to both emotional states (or lack of) and my own view of my own art at times (unable to depict emotion); Alien has a direct link to Giger for me and therefore to a specific style of surrealist art, too.

      Updated 06-08-2021 at 01:52 AM by 95293 (added notes)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    10. 29 Apr: Meeting a lucid dreamer or very convincing DC

      by , 04-29-2021 at 10:06 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Only remember meeting some woman and she was looking at all the people who were in the dream and when she looked me in the eyes, she locked contact with me, approached me and I felt she was real / aware and she felt the same about me. I was lucid and she told me something like "I can tell that you know we are dreaming. I can see it through the eyes." and I didn't say anything, we just shared what seemed like a never ending moment lost in each other's eyes.
      Tags: eyes, lding, lucid, woman
      Categories
      lucid
    11. ccxiv. The dark pyramid and a strange town

      by , 01-22-2021 at 11:42 AM
      21st January 2021

      Dream:

      (not the earliest point I can recall in the dream)

      I'm in a dark and sooty room at the apex of a pyramid. I don't remember seeing the outside, I just have this knowledge intuitively. There's also a bottomless square pit. The soot is dark brown and seems to have an increased build up the further up it is on the inner apex. I don't know how I'm able to see, there's no light source but things look just bright enough.

      There's some kind of machine near the middle of the room. By the looks of it, it should be fixed down to the ground but it isn't. It has a main moving part, a piston or pushrod of some kind. It jerks around out of control indefinitely. I think something but the recall is gone.

      The scene changes a bit and a white lady with light curly hair appears? She starts speaking like she's in a documentary, she mentions the machine but then there is a focus on a puppy that appears in the room. The puppy is an integral part of the room, I feel or she explains, and an integral part of whatever purpose the machine is supposed to serve.

      She explains that someone has to come and feed the puppy every day, but that otherwise it must always remain her. I touch the dog, it's a gold labrador at first? I say something aloud about it being unfair for the dog, or something.

      (recall gap)

      In a Japanese town, but it just looks like any town in Britain or the USA, it has more "room" like the latter. I think to myself it's odd that it's a Japanese town. All the people I see around are distant from me and I can't tell what their ethnicity actually is, making me suspect it's not really a Japanese town. But I don't investigate my suspicions further, some kind of dream plot drags me around the town; I'm being chased, or someone else is, and I'm following.

      A man, he was being chased. We arrive at a house that's also a restaurant or inn. A pub, effectively? There's a flagpole outside on the garden, I notice the ground is covered in snow. For some reason I fear this man is going to defecate on his own snowy lawn. He doesn't. The flag flying on that pole is one like that for India, I notice. Three horizontal stripes, top to bottom; green, white, red or orange. With a stylised black sun in the middle.

      The man invites me inside. Seemingly the chase is up.

      (recall gap)

      I'm shown some kind of machine. H is with me. The man leaves for a while; he said he'd like us to fix this machine for him. It looks like it's bare, i.e. no aesthetic coverings, etc.

      It has some kind of plastic platters. Looks like many random bits off CD players, tape machines, etc. But the size of the parts is different from what it would be in those machines. H tries to adjust something and the large top platters ping off towards the back left side. We are annoyed, but conclude it probably helps us anyway.

      (rest of recall is too vague)



      Notes:

      - The machine at the pyramid's apex looked like it was some random thing cobbled together from different bits of wood and maybe some metal. It looked very crude and it was equally crude in behaviour.

      - This pyramid's apex felt almost like the mix between a loft and the inside of a regularly used chimney.
      -- The room and its contents felt like they had some strong symbolic associations. Could be an interesting place to try doing some dreamwork.

      - When I questioned the town's Japanese-ness, my awareness of the dream overall increased but I was instinctively taken by the dream plot before I could really think about it further. I realise now I could have thought about it further while running but I didn't.
    12. ccviii. School stuff and a brief rampage

      by , 01-11-2021 at 05:31 PM
      11th January 2021

      Dream:

      At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

      Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

      She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

      At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

      I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

      It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

      She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

      The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

      I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

      She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

      I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

      The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

      (later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

      I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

      I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

      I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.



      Notes:

      - This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

      - I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

      - That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.
    13. 16 Nov: Moving to an apartment, time travel to Washington 1900s

      by , 11-16-2020 at 04:50 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening / astral projection


      We moved to an apartment in Alverca. The house is nice and big, but we look through the window and I only see other buildings right in front. I recall we moved here so to be closer to mom. She is seeing the house for the 1st time and she is impressed by the size of the rooms. She lays on the couch in the living room and says that's what she'll be doing on weekends when she comes by, but I notice she is sad and so am I. More than sad, I feel depressed and oppressed, remembering the beautiful green landscape we no longer have around. I miss it so much and think we made a mistake.

      Travel back in time with a couple friends, kind of accidental. We find ourselves in USA around the 1900s, I think in Washington. We end up in the house of a lady and her daughter who have some kind of family factory they inherited and are trying to get back to work, having to fight back all the discrimination against independent working women. They are determined to make it work and we help them. Right now they have men reconstructing their old mansion and its quite chaotic. I go for a walk with one of my friends and we pass by historical buildings like the Senate and I ask her "Doesn't this feel like you real life now? Don't you feel at home here?" And she says "no", looking surprised. I explain that I enjoy so much this slow paced world and she says she misses the internet. I laugh and agree, that's the only thing that really is hard not to have. But we agree we don't miss tv or any of other technological advances. She still says she wouldn't want to stay. I say I would and I imagine I'd use it to try to change so many things. I see myself writing books to influence the mentality of people in the future.
    14. Dream where I was helping a woman move

      by , 11-08-2020 at 06:05 PM
      I had a dream last night were I was helping a middle aged woman and her daughter move. When the dream started, I was working with 3 college aged guys and was taking stuff from a 3rd floor apartment to an old green box truck from a furniture company that was backed into a parking spot near the building the apartment was in.

      The staircase was really narrow and the 3 other guys were having to spend time figuring out how to get the big stuff down the staircase to the truck. I think they must have been older/stronger than me, because they were handling all of the big stuff like furniture and I was handling smaller stuff like boxes. While the woman wasn’t doing much heavy lifting, she was keeping a close eye on us and directing us. At one point, she showed me the boxes that were fragile and told me to wait to move them till she told me it was time. She was an attractive middle aged blonde woman with an athletic body. Her daughter who looked to be about 10-12 years old was small and had darker blonde hair and wore glasses. She was following us and watching closely when we moved her stuff from her room to the truck and then went back to the playground when we were done with her stuff.

      Eventually, the woman told me it was time to move the fragile stuff and to ONLY carry one box at a time. I then spend a long time carrying the boxes to the truck where she carefully placed them in while the guys were struggling with moving her mattress and then a wrap around couch from the 3rd floor apartment to the truck. I was having to use the back staircase so I could stay out of their way, and could see the daughter playing with friends on the playground when walking up and down those stairs.

      Eventually, we had everything out to the truck and the apartment was empty, I found out I was going with the woman and girl to unload the truck while the other 3 guys were done for the day. The woman told me that they had to go and that she had 3 or 4 other guys meeting us at her new place to help me unload. As the woman was getting ready to go back into her apartment to get money to pay the guys, she told me to go ahead and get in the truck and wait for her and reminded me that she was paying me for me time even when I was in the truck. I then said goodbye to the 3 guys I had been working with and then went and got in the cab of the truck.

      Once I got in the cab, I noticed the truck was even older than I had though and look like the interior of a GMC truck from the late 70’s or early 80’s. After I closed the passenger side door, I noticed the cab smelled horrible and the air was getting stale, so I opened it back up.

      While the guys were still standing by their car waiting to be paid, the daughter appeared at the passenger side of the truck and told me to scoot over. I asked if she would rather sit next to her mom and she said no, that she wanted to see out the window an her mommy said she could decide since I was being paid and she wasn’t. I reluctantly moved over to the middle seat and then the daughter jumped up into the cab and then sat down in the passenger seat. She immediately closed the door and then buckled her seatbelt. She then told me I needed to buckle-up because her mommy says if the butts on the seat the belt must be buckled.

      Soon the tuck starts to smell again and the girl notices it. I suggest she open the door or window, but she is worried about bugs coming in so I am stuck with the bad smell and stale air. As we wait for her mom, she keeps telling me how excited she is about riding in the truck and that she has never ridden in a big truck before. She was starting to get on my nerves talking about how excited she was about getting to ride in the truck. I turn my head away from her and see the 3 college guys getting in their car and woman walking towards the truck.

      When the woman gets to the truck, she opens the driver side door, puts her purse on the empty driver seat next to me, and then tells us she needs to go turn in her key at the office. She tells us to sit tight and that she will be back as soon as she can and then closes us back in.

      I then have to spend an even longer time in the smelly truck cab with the daughter and try my best to ignore her as her constant talking in getting on my nerves. Eventually, I hear her say here comes mommy and then see her mom walking towards the truck.

      When the woman gets into the driver seat and closes the door she immediately notices that the cab smells like poo and ask me and her daughter if we may have stepped in poo. We both deny it, and I tell her the truck smelled like this before I got in. She tells me to check my shoe because it smelled fine when she picked it up yesterday. I look down and see that there is something on my right shoe and tell the woman and her daughter that I stepped in something.

      The woman then flips out and starts going off about her brother loaning her the truck and how embarrassed she will be if I got any poo on it and that she is worried I may have tracked into her apartment and she will lose her deposit because of it. She becomes paranoid about both of these things and keeps talking about them, while her daughter is telling me how gross it is that I stepped in poo.

      I woke-up from this dream while the woman was going off about be stepping in poo and while I was waiting for she or her daughter to let me out of the truck so I could clean-up my shoe.
    15. cxxxix. Pre-lucid moment and artificial dream sign

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:22 AM
      1st July 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

      Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

      I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

      Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

      (Missing recall)

      Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

      (Missing transition)

      Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.



      Notes:

      - This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
      -- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

      - My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

      - The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
      - This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.
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