Recent DJ Posts

I lived in the country during World War 5. One of my friends had a job as a mail carrier, and she hated it because she has bad knees.

I was riding down a road on the back of a flat-bed pickup with a bunch of noisy teen boys. They were all carrying rocket launchers and machine guns and grenades and stuff. As we drove down the interstate, we would occasionally drive passed a big billboard. At that point, the boys would all jump off, run up to the sign and just DESTROY it with their weapons. Pretty epic.

I was an agent during some world war, either 1 or 2. I was part of a special operations team involved in alchemical experiments. The others members including an old senile man who could hardly walk, what appeared to be Colonel Kurtz, someone who looked like Frank Booth and two soldiers who only spoke to each other. We were involved in a project to raise the dead and it wasn’t going well. I was brooding in the sitting room when the old man came in and gave me bad news. I sent him away but since he moved very slowly, the Frank Booth guy shown up and started hyperactively insulting the old guy and generally being annoying. I hurled a book of poetry at him and he left.

Then some soldiers brought in a dead comrade from the battlefield and put him in an upstairs bedroom. I was not happy about it and spent several days thinking over the correct course of action. Somehow I went upstairs and found the dead guy was actually alive but couldn’t move his legs. An alchemical experiment had brought him back to life. He was crawling down the half-landing while the two soldiers who wouldn’t speak to anyone but each other put hairspray in their hair. I went downstairs again, drank a bucket of water and poured the rest on my head then went to fix an old fashioned car.

I did watch Inglourious Basterds and Apocalypse Now recently.

I'm in a war...reminds me of world war one. I don't know exactly how many people are with me, but I'm working in tandem with one other guy. I'm a decoy of sorts. As I peg off people out in the open, he waits around a corner. If any of my shots miss, then I run back and he takes them out.

This works pretty good for the duration of the dream, until this huge guy comes around the corner. He's muscular, about 8 feet tall and he's wearing a camouflage tank top. He doesn't carry any weapons, and nothing's having any effect on him. This guy is like a slow moving brick wall, and after putting my entire clip in him, he's still coming at me. I duck around the corner, in hopes that my battle buddy would finish the job. He got off a few rounds before the guy grabbed his face and smashed him in the wall.

Dang, I think he knocked a couple of bricks loose with that attack. I don't see the rest of my squad, and something tells me running will only delay the inevitable. I grabbed my rifle by the barrel, and swung at him. He didn't even flinch when it cracked against his skull. The butt shattered into splinters, and I kept swinging the remainder of my weapon. He wasn't trying anything offensively...he was just standing there taking it. I hit him in the head once and heard something crack. I immediately followed that up with another. The cracking noise continued and made sounds as if I were breaking dishes. The scene started changing right before my eyes...slowly back and forth from war scene to my kitchen. In the kitchen scene I could see my cabinets and it looked like I was swinging at them.

Finally everything solidified and I was in the kitchen. Broken dishes everywhere....was I hallucinating? Sleepwalking? I checked my pockets, they had macaroni in the fifth pocket. I was wondering what the hell was I up to. And then I woke up for real.