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I am at my friend Alicia's house, and we are watching a movie. It is one of the Harry Potter movies, but I don't recognize which one. The setting is in some kind of swamp, and I don't recognize the place at all. The situation is that Harry, Ron, and Hermione have found and destroyed all the horcruxes except for the one in Nagini. So in the movie we are watching Harry, Ron, and Hermione sludge through a swamp in search of Nagini, who has a horcrux inside. I decide to take a break and get a snack, so we pause the movie and I go into the kitchen for a snack. I find there are some chocolate cupcakes out there, and I help myself to one. I step out the back door to enjoy the warm weather, but everything around me changes. I find I am now in the swamp out of the Harry Potter movie.

I turn around and see there is no sign of Alicia's house, so I start looking around the swamp. I realize I have a wand, and now I must be in the Harry Potter movie somehow. I decide to see if I can find any of the people from the movie, maybe kick Voldermort's ass. As I am making my way through the dark swamp I see something moving. It's a big snake! I use a stun spell on the snake, figuring there's no need to go off killing the wildlife. The snake is stunned, so I continue searching. I hear voices up ahead, so I follow the sound. I find what I was looking for. Voldemort and Wormtail are talking quietly to each other.

Apparently I made too much noise. Voldermort turns towards me and attacks me, using a death curse. I deflect that with a Whiplash spell, which clearly surprises him. He does some kind of spell that appears to use Wormtail as a sacrafice in order to give himself more power. I see him absorb the life energy out of Wormtail, who is knocked backwards by the force of the spell. His wand goes flying, and I grab that telekinetically. So now I have two wands! Voldemort casts another death spell at me at the same time as I use both wands to cast Battery, sending lightning bolts from both of them. The three beams meet in the middle with a bright flash of sparks and fire. I get the idea that the two blasts of lightning might be more powerful combined, so I cross the streams… I can't help but think of Ghostbusters when I do that… and the two beams of lightning intertwine to form one. The wands become hard to hold steady, vibrating with a life of their own, but I manage to hold it stable. The combined lightning bolts overpower Voldemort's spell, forcing the entire ball of fire and lightning back to Voldemort where there is a large explosion, and Voldemort is incinerated. Right then there is a flash of white light and then I am back in Alicia's back yard. I go back into the house to see if Alicia is still there, and it turns out she has continued watching the movie without me. She says that ending never gets old… Voldemort go boom!

May 4, 2011
Lucid Dream 227: Return of the S.S.
Series: The Wonderful World of Ack, Episode 1
DILD
around 11:00am



I was in the local Wal-Mart parking lot with my friends Diddy and Mike. I was smoking a cig and we were talking about going downtown later. Someone came up behind me and put their hands of my eyes and did the "guess who." It was a familiar female voice. All I got out was Kate, when I became lucid.

I turned around and Kate Beckinsale was standing behind me. I kissed her and told her it had been a while. I turned back around and saw that Diddy and Mike had been restrained and were now being dragged into a large van. The men who were taking them hostage were very familiar indeed. One of them flashed a fake badge and said, "Don't worry, we are just going taking to get ice cream." They got in the van quickly, burned out in the parking lot, and sped off. I grabbed Kate's hand and we hurried into the back seat of a nearby vehicle. My sister was in the driver's seat. I told her to follow the van. Kate looked at me and said, "Its alright, they were government officials. We can trust them." I laughed and said, "I trust government officials about as much as I trust the Taliban." I then notice a group of Taliban members standing under a tent in the Wal-Mart parking lot. They were passing out rocket launchers and AKs. I then looked at Kate and said, "Besides, they weren't true government officials. They were S.S." She looked confused and said, "They didn't speak German." I replied, "S.S. otherwise known as the Shiny Spiffers." She looked at me like I was crazy and I explained, "I used to write stories about them in middle school. They are named after their spiffy Donald Trump hair, dark sunglasses, and black suits with the penguin coat tail." I was really excited because this was actually true. I used to write stories about these guys. They were a "mature rated" comedy series called, 'The Wonderful World of Ack'. The stories were actually inspired from a dream I had back around that time. I wish I still had them.

We followed the van at a safe distance, but lost them at some point. My sister asked where they might be headed and I replied, "Oh, I know exactly where they are headed...Duke University. Their secret base is there." We drove for a short period of time and caught up with the van. It pulled into what looked like an old plantation with a sign that had the blue devil symbol. I asked my sister where she put the guns and she told me they were behind my seat. I pulled down my seat slightly and pulled out an assault rifle. We waited for a moment and the boss got out of the van. Kate said, "Theres the boss!" I looked and noticed it was Mel Gibson. I jumped out of the car and shot at Mel Gibson. He seemed to be one step ahead of me though and was in mid-dive when I opened fire. He dove behind the van and pulled out a pistol. We had a shoot-out for a few moments. I then acted like I was reloading and as soon as he popped out from the car, I blasted him. I walked over top of him as he was dying and said, "Silly Mel Gibson, lucid dreamers don't reload." I then shot his body a few more times.

I sneak around the nearby building and looked through the window. For some reason, I knew I had been tortured in this building before with electricity. I was tied up and standing in a water pail. I saw there were a bunch of captives in there as well as Mike and Diddy. I then ran around to the door of the small building. I looked back behind me and saw an old mansion a top a hill behind me. I could see security cameras everywhere and knew I had to act quickly. I shot the door lock and then kicked it open. I yelled for all of the prisoners to escape and people started running out the door screaming like they were running from Godzilla. I told them to be quiet and there was no need to scream, but the bastards didn't listen. I looked for Brandon and Mike and found them sitting at a poker table. They were smoking cigars and playing poker with two other guys. I said, "What the hell are you doing, I'm rescuing you." Mike said, "Yeah thanks, just wait for us to finish this game real quick. I laughed and turned back to the doorway. There was a tall man that resembled an elf from Lord of the Rings. He was holding a katana in each hand. I start shooting at him, but he was blocking all the bullets with same crazy ass swordsmanship. He closed in on me, so i dove head first out the window.

I landed and noticed the clip to my gun had fallen out. I thought, "Eh, I don't really need it anyway." The elf guy jumped down and started running at me. I tried to shoot him, but the gun as no longer working. The Elf was just a foot or two away when I heard a gun shot and he dropped dead. Diddy had shot the elf guy in the head. Diddy said, "You could have told me we were dreaming!" I shrugged and flew back up into the window. We grabbed some of the scattered guns and exited the building. We were heading back to the vehicle when I saw Wormtail from the Harry Potter movies. He was running down from the mansion shouting, "Stop in the name of Lord Gibson! Stop this instant." We ran around the building and I looked for Mel's dead body. I found it after a quick search around the hedges and picked it up. I walked over to Wormtail and threw it at his feet. I said, "Here you go, chap!" Wormtail looked panicked and leaned toward Mel's body. I then shot the shit out of the dead body. Blood splattered all over Wormtail and I got into the car.

Me, Diddy, and Mike were all shooting out the windows at the line of vehicles following us. We were in a pretty intense shootout when I had a false awakening. I started to write down my dream in a notebook, but my writing kept vanishing. It took me several moments to figure out I had a false awakening. I then dove head first out of my window and took flight. I flew around for a short period of time before actually waking up.

Series Details
The dream series, "The Wonderful World of Ack," is based off of my old short story series that I wrote in middle school. Stay tuned to this series to see just how fucked up my mind was, even before the drugs and alcohol, lol.