• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    Recent DJ Posts

    1. “Doll” Oddity and Transformation on a Spaceship

      by , 02-21-2018 at 01:52 PM
      Morning of September 9, 1966. Friday.



      I am apparently on a spaceship, though there are no others around except for a couple of adult males who are talking near the end of a hall until they go around a corner (a common event in early childhood dreams). As I wander around, not being focused on much of anything, I see what I first think is a baby lying on the floor on its back, though partly covered with a ragged blanket. I soon consider that it is probably a plastic doll that someone dropped, but upon closer look, it is a heavy metallic statue of a man in a combat helmet, though unrealistically rendered somewhat as having a baby’s body proportions.

      Later, a young girl with a lion shows me to the “front door” so I can go home. She is carrying the “statue”, which is now a ragged cloth doll with no apparent face, which is smaller than what this oddity had been minutes before. The “front door” turns out to be a semicircular ceiling (somewhat like the essence of a cave rather than a building or spaceship) that first seems to display outer space, though eventually I see the buildings of La Crosse and my apartment building. My dream fades from here.



      The night before (September 8, 1966), I had watched the first episode of “Star Trek” ever shown on television; “The Mantrap”; as well as the “Tarzan” episode “Eyes of the Lion”, which came directly before it on the same channel. This “Tarzan” episode (as well as movies like “The Lion” from 1962, which also featured a young girl with an adult male lion) had influenced a number of my dreams later on despite the fact I had confused it in my teenage years with “The Haunted Lighthouse”, an episode of “Lost in Space” that also featured a girl (Penny), a lion, a cave, and “going back home”, though that did not air until October 18, 1967. In the “Tarzan” episode, a young blind girl who lived in a cave used an adult lion as a seeing-eye animal. (I am still wary of lions in some dreams, depending on my level of unconsciousness in relationship to my dream state awareness level, as it is a natural factor of potential RAS modulation as the waking alert factor, and additionally as emergent consciousness coalescence, as a lion can swallow the dream self, though this coalescence factor has been re-symbolized as hugging in some dreams, by way of virtuous circle, as with “Changing the Lion of Coalescence into my Wife Zsuzsanna" from December 3, 2016).

      I can easily see the autosymbolism of this dream. The soldier statue was implied as a RAS modulation precursor, as RAS is often aggressive if I subliminally decide that it is not time to wake yet. However, I eventually accepted consciousness reascension and there was no conflict. Learning the nature of the dream state at an early age was very beneficial, as nightmares or even “bad dreams” are extremely rare, other than when biologically premonitory.



      This online dream journal entry was reformatted from the source material, abridged, and clarified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018.


    2. Jewel Face

      by , 08-25-2015 at 02:25 PM
      Morning of August 25, 2015. Tuesday.



      In my dream (with no implied back story or prior memory of any other event or situation) I find myself absentmindedly looking at an array of thumbnails on my computer monitor, too small to see much detail other than various images of a mysterious figure in black and what may be a closeup of a face in solely one image of the set. It looks like it may be a set of photographs of a young dark-haired Moroccan girl in a mostly featureless room, though it may also be a young version of my wife Zsuzsanna. My thoughts are not that defined and I remain puzzled over the display. The images seem slightly larger at one point, though not based on any technical adjustment on my part (though possibly by automatic magnification, based on purely mental “zooming in” of the dream self’s perspective, this being a fairly common event in my dreams). She is wearing black clothes, including black silky palazzo pants and a kaftan top from what can be seen in the thumbnails, and it looks like there may be a black veil in some images.

      When I bring up one image in the top row, I see a young female’s face and it looks rather distorted though still human for the most part. An outline of very small jewels completely encircles her eyes, mouth, and nose area. They look like they may have been deeply embedded into her skin. This puzzles me and for a moment I almost think it is her actual face and that the “jewels” are organic, though I eventually accept that they may be tiny rhinestones. I have no idea who it is at this point. At one time the girl may have been pretty, but now she looks almost inhuman (or “alien” in a cinematic sense) and very odd. My dream fades after this, after seeing only the one larger image with some sort of vague wariness regarding what sort of “creature” she may be (though likely still human for the most part, yet unique in that I get the impression no one else has gone to this extreme in facial alteration, which may be related to some sort of extreme cultural or religious purpose).

      Updated 01-15-2016 at 05:17 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    3. Hovering Stagecoach Driver

      by , 03-02-2015 at 09:02 AM
      Night of March 2, 2015. Monday.



      An unknown dark-haired young girl is somehow driving a stagecoach. At times, it seems to be around sunset. I am not certain if I am actually “in” the old west or if it is a strange attempted reenactment of a western scene for a movie or a club. I float, seemingly disembodied, on the right side of the vehicle. The girl somehow remains hovering above the front part of the stagecoach. This is not to imply a strong wind or great speed as it sort of suggests, but a simple ability or occurrence of casually floating in the air (apparently under her own control for the most part) remaining in the same general area relative to the coach and somehow controlling the horses as well. There are no mishaps and no drama. In fact, the girl seems to be mildly amused or at least cheerful about her endeavor. At times, she seems to be a silhouette inside the stagecoach, but this is ambiguous as she is continuously the driver.

      Updated 08-24-2015 at 05:21 PM by 1390

      Categories
      lucid
    4. misbehavior march

      by , 02-01-2012 at 02:58 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I may have been in a meeting with people from one of my previous jobs. I had walked out of that meeting. I was now walking into something like a kitchen area for a restaurant, or maybe for something like the cafeteria of an elementary school or nursery.

      The kitchen was busy with people, and it was possibly humid and warm. Most of the people in the kitchen were kids. They seemed to be engaged in some project, like they were cooking together for some confidence-building exercise. Most of the kids seemed to be washing dishes, though, or playing around in the sink.

      There was a big set of wire-rack shelves right before the door, on the wall opposite the door. Before the racks, a higher-up woman from one of my old jobs, PD, was bending over, reaching for a plastic container of some kind of powdered food. PD looked a bit shorter and thinner, though she was still overweight. Her face also looked a bit too pale and dry.

      I feel like at this point all the kids may have gathered around me. They thought I was a fun guy to hang out with. I may have interacted with them a little more enthusiastically than I would otherwise have, though, since PD was around. I'd always kind of admired PD, so I wanted her to think highly of me. I thought she'd be impressed if she saw how good I was with kids.

      Somehow, though, I now needed to lead the kids out of the kitchen and through the next room, which was either like a classroom or a lobby in some school building. Although I was technically "leading" the kids, I was really in the middle of the crowd, surrounded by all the kids.

      I got the idea to get the kids started on a march. We would march and give a marching chant. The chant had the cadence of the "I don't know but I've been told" chant stereotypical of military marches. But I thought it would be funny to make a chant encouraging the children to misbehave.

      I would say the line, then the kids would repeat it. We chanted as we marched up toward the back, left corner of the room. I chanted, "These are the things that I do."

      The kids repeated, "These are the things that I do."

      "When I want to -----" (Go and play? Go outside? Go away?)

      "When I want to -----"

      "Fighting."

      "Fighting."

      "Whining."

      "Whining."

      "Running away."

      "Running away."

      At this moment, two of the older girls (maybe 11 or 12 years old) ran off to the left, just as we were approaching the door to the classroom. The girls seemed to run past a bookshelf, behind which stood two adult women.

      I decided I needed to follow the girls and bring them back. This may have been because I didn't want them to set a bad example for the class. But I think I also wanted to follow them because I was sexually attracted to them, and I wanted them to stay around me.

      I broke away from the rest of the group and followed the path of the girls. I ended up in some room where two slightly overweight, Latina women were sitting on couches. They were both discussing their bills and their debt. I may have felt like the women were similar to PD somehow.

      I saw one of the women's checks. The name on the check was Kerolos. Something about the name didn't make sense to me. Later on I saw another check. It seemed to have come to the woman from some business man. The name on this check was Carolos. This made more sense to me.
    5. news of innocence; dress; helping michael collins; dark room

      by , 11-30-2011 at 02:12 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I sat in some huge room. I sat in a school desk, which was part of some U-shaped area of either desks or tables, maybe made out of wood. Other than this structure, the room was empty.

      The room had orange-tan colored walls, which were as tall as the walls of a cathedral. Along the top of the wall ran some kind of LED display, like an electronic ticker tape display that scrolls out news.

      The sign was saying that somebody, possibly Sir Isaac Newton, had confessed his guilt regarding something. This was something like a murder, or a rather contemporary, scandalous-sounding crime.

      Previously I'd been accused of this crime. Now that Sir Isaac Newton had confessed, I would no longer be considered guilty.

      A woman came up to the desk where I was sitting. She may have stood me up to lead me away. I may have been working at something on a computer. I may have been a little reluctant to leave the work.

      Dream #2

      In an almost completely dark room, there was a girl, maybe eleven or twelve years old, standing in an orange-peach colored dress. The dress was in the eighteenth century style, with the outer layer in a sheer kind of material. The girl may have had her back left leg lifted behind her, as if she were performing a ballet step.

      Dream #3

      I was in a dark space, almost like a small corridor on a large airplane or in a space station. I walked toward a dimly lit area near the "front" of this corridor.

      The astronaut Michael Collins was in the lit space, working at a small box of machinery. Collins looked young, and he may have been wearing a NASA jumpsuit.

      I may have worked with Collins. I figured I was going to help him with whatever he was doing right now.

      Dream #4

      I was alone in a bedroom. The room was kind of big and it had high walls. But it felt like a college dorm room, not a bedroom. There may have been a regular bed and at least one bunk bed.

      Suddenly the lights went out in the room. There was a tiny bit of light in the room, giving everything a very faint, very dim blue tint.

      I felt my way around in the room, waving my arms in front of me -- although I may actually have been doing this before the lights went out. I was frantically trying to turn the lights back on, either with the power of my own mind or by finding the light switch. But I couldn't do it.

      I told myself not to panic. I went to the door. Even though I was kind of disappointed with myself for being so afraid that I wanted to leave the room, I was going to leave. I couldn't think of how to get the light on, and I couldn't stand being in darkness.

      But when I got to the front door, I was also afraid. I felt like there were people out in the hallway (like the hallway of a college dorm hall) waiting to attack me.

      I looked through the peephole on my door. Outside I saw, leaning against the wall opposite the hall from my door, a young, blonde woman, pale skinned, very pretty, dressed in blue jeans and a black, turtleneck sweater. She leaned against the wall with her hands joined and placed behind her.

      (Note: I've been using being alone in an empty room as a dream-sign, hopefully to induce lucids. I noticed that many of my lucids have occurred when I was alone in a room. So I've had quite a few "alone in a room" dreams -- and I've still failed. Ugh.)
    6. pink lemonade for mom; dog friend in park; sex isn't so great

      by , 09-19-2011 at 12:19 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a dark room that was kind of like a living room mixed with a small, cafeteria-style restaurant. The room was lit on the outer edges by dim, but vividly-colored, lights, like weak LEDs. But the lights barely lit anything at all, so the room was mostly dark. There a few other people in the room, mostly my family members.

      My mom was sitting on one of the sides of the room. She asked me to get her a drink. She may have asked me to "go out" and get her a drink. I may have been planning to go outside, to some store, to get my mom a drink.

      But I went to a small drinks case that sat on a counter. The drinks case (unlit) had a few Red Bull-shaped cans of pink lemonade in it. I may have thought that I would take one of these cans of pink lemonade to give me energy on my errand to pick up whatever drink it was my mom wanted me to get her from the outside.

      There were two different flavors of pink lemonade (i.e. another flavor added in with the pink lemonade flavor). I saw one flavor that I knew my mom liked. I figured that was the drink she wanted. The other flavor I thought I would take for myself. But I didn't really like the flavor. I wanted to see if my favorite flavor was available, but I couldn't remember what it was.

      I was then coming back from or finally going out on my errand. But some of my family members, particularly my brother, thought I was an old man and that I wouldn't be able to make the trip. For some reason, I took a pair of black socks with me to prove I was strong enough to make the trip. But the socks had holes in their heels.

      I was now feeling old and very tired. I kind of collapsed on the ground in the middle of the room, laying on my side. I figured I just needed a bit of a rest, and then I could get up and run my errand.

      Dream #2

      I was walking through a neighborhood that was like the neighborhood where my cousins lived when we were kids. But something about the feeling of the place was much larger and lonelier. It was like all the houses were twice their size, and the neighborhood was hidden away in a series of winding streets. The sky may have been grey, and the day a little damp and chilly, like it was going to rain.

      I knew that if I walked up one of the side blocks I could go see my cousins' old house. But I didn't want to risk going up that block and running into my aunt. So I decided not to go up that way.

      The road I was walking on ended up turning into a park. It was slightly secluded, but it was a nice, wide, long lawn with some rolling hills and some trees. I was walking on an asphalt path on the lawn. After a while, a dog came running up from behind me.

      I recognized the dog. It was a dog I liked quite a bit. I thought it was my aunt's dog. I saw a figure sitting in a bench far back in the park. I thought that was my aunt. She (?) May have been wearing an orange shirt. I didn't want to acknowledge the dog because I didn't want my aunt coming over and talking to me.

      But the dog seemed really happy to see me. We ran over to the right side of the park. We began playing and rough-housing a little bit.

      Dream #3

      A pretty, blonde girl, maybe about eleven to thirteen years old, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, said, "Everybody says p***y is so great. They act like it tastes and smells like the greatest thing in the world. Well, I'm a lesbian. So I know. And I don't think p***y is that great at all. It doesn't taste that great. And it doesn't smell good."
    7. newspaper lyrics

      by , 06-04-2011 at 01:14 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a big room like a school gym. But there were bookshelves on some of the walls. The floors were covered with something like different-colored exercise mats. The exercise mats were maybe 1 meter long, 500cm wide, and 3cm thick. They seemed to fit with each other like floor tiles. I stood right inside this room, on the right wall, right near a door.

      I walked out of the room. I was now in a smaller room. There were a good amount of people in the room, all engaged in a number of tasks with each other. The room was lit only by greyish natural light from windows somewhere.

      I sat down in a school-type chair in front of two girls who also sat in school chairs. The girls looked very serious, as though they were giving me a job interview. But they were really cute and couldn't have been more than 13 years old.

      As part of whatever interview-like process this was, I began showing the girls how I could sing a song. The song sounded like "Drops of Jupiter," by Train. But it was an older song than that one. I'm pretty sure it was a real song, but I don't remember the song. As I sang the song, I heard/felt it pretty vividly.

      I sang lyrics that I'm pretty sure didn't match the actual lyrics of the song (if it was real and it wasn't just "Drops of Jupiter"). I pretty much had the lyrics memorized. But I wasn't sure I was getting them right.

      So I pulled a newspaper page out. The page had the song lyrics printed on it. Some of the lyrics were printed in bold, possibly to highlight really important parts or really smart words in the song.

      I think there was a point when I realized I didn't have the song fully memorized. But if I looked just a little bit at the paper, I could sing a long string of words. So I felt pretty sure I'd have the song memorized soon.

      When I woke up, I actually remembered the tune and a couple small phrases. But they all melted away.

      (Side notes: I actually spent part of yesterday evening walking through town and memorizing the song "Kurumi," by Mr. Children. I've listened to and sung along with the song enough times that I almost had it memorized, anyway. I actually thought I did have it memorized. So I was a little frustrated to see how many times I actually had to look at the lyrics.

      Although, whenever I get frustrated, I also wonder why I'm my age and still getting frustrated over a rock song. Ugh... immature?)
    8. kicking friend out; holding hands with girl

      by , 04-15-2011 at 11:53 AM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I sat at a small dining table in "my apartment." My friend H sat across the table from me. The table was narrow, and the room was kind of drab. The walls may have been some kind of dull green, and the only other thing in the room may haved been a bed.

      H was being really mean to me. It seemed to be because she was in a bad mental state. I figured this was because she had been talking to her old boyfriend, C.

      I got really mad that H had let herself get mixed up with C again. I stood up and leaned all the way across the table, getting into H's face. I said, "Are you talking to C again?" H may have given some kind of non-verbal confirmation.

      I sat down and leaned back in my chair. I said, "Get out of here, you disgusting b---h."

      H stood up and headed for the door, upset and in a really scattered state of mind. She had brought a couple of bags worth of stuff to my house. I told her as she was leaving to take her stuff with her. But she wasn't listening to me.

      I took the stuff and sat it outside the door. H was already heading down the stairs. I yelled at her that I was leaving this stuff outside of my apartment, so she better come pick it up. But she didn't listen.

      I went back inside my apartment. I was a little worried for H's stuff, but I wasn't going to bring it back into my place. I went back into the bedroom. I figured that I would go away somewhere, take a few days in another town. That way I could make some kind of final separation from H.

      I found two small items of H's still in my room. One was a small, padded manila envelope with some kind of Japanese writing on it. Another was a thick card that looked like its backing was made out of manila envelope paper. This card had Japanese writing on it as well, something like an advertisement for a destination or some kind of clinic.

      I looked into the envelope. It was full of medicine and inhalers. But it also had something which I couldn't see clearly, but which reminded me of a box of condoms. It seemed clear to me from this that H was messing around with C again, which was definitely bad news and something I wasn't willing to be a part of again.

      I got really worried about H's stuff outside. I was afraid it would get stolen, because it seemed like the people in my apartment were really crooked. But I just didn't want to have anything to do with H anymore.

      For some reason, I called H to tell her that I was going on a trip somewhere, but that I found two more packages of hers at my place. I'd just mail these packages.

      At some other time I got a phone call from H. I imagined that she would ask me where the bags were that she'd left at my apartment. I imagined that I'd have to tell her they were gone by now, if she hadn't come back to get them. I imagined that she'd be mad.

      Dream #2

      I was sitting in a kind of small bedroom, which may actually have been a studio apartment or a dorm room. I sat on the bed, with my back against the wall and my legs partly off the side of the bed.

      A mother stood with her back to me. She had two daughters, both of whom were young, one of whom may have been about eleven or twelve years old. Both girls stood with their backs to me as well, and in front of their mother.

      The mother was acting as if she were driving a car somewhere. It really was like she was driving a car and taking us somewhere. It was like the girls were in the front seat and I was in the back seat. The younger sister looked back at me. I smiled at her in a kind of flirting way.

      The younger sister got interested in me and sat down on the bed next to me, on my left side. She was blonde, and she wore a red and black or pink and black flannel jacket and blue jeans. She may have looked older that eleven, maybe even in her late teens.

      At some point I may have laid my hand on her leg. She held my hand. I felt really excited. I thought I might try to make another move. But I then thought, Isn't this wrong? I'm a lot older than this girl. She's really young. I shouldn't be getting romantic with her like this.

      The older sister now wanted a little attention as well. She sat on the bed, to her sister's left. She had tan skin and brown hair. She wore a short, white, satiny dress that looked like a Chinese-style skirt-dress. She was really sexy, but I wasn't incredibly interested in her.

      The girls had to go somewhere. They said they'd be back. I was kind of glad to see them go -- I was a little freaked out that I had been making moves on an eleven year old girl. But before the older sister left, she said she and the mother would have the younger sister come back into the room so she could be alone with me.

      I was really excited about this. I thought, Well, if they think it's okay, then it must be okay! I lay down, stomach down, on the bed. Somehow I realized that the situation was different from what I'd thought it had been. There were a few people coming to this room in a while. There was going to be a party, probably with old friends of mine from college.

      I may have walked into the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, one of my old college friends' mothers walked into the room. She was nice-looking, older, skinny, blonde. She wore a form-fitting, dark blue sweater and dull, blue slacks. She had something like dry cleaning in her arms. She folded the dry-cleaned clothes over a chair at the dining table.

      The woman and I spoke politely, but it seemed to me like I wasn't classy enough to be a satisfactory friend for the woman's child, and that somehow the woman was restraining her disappointment in me.
    9. new deli; dance of women and girls; single mother kayaking; lucid park

      by , 02-26-2011 at 03:39 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a new deli, which may have been downstairs from my apartment. The deli was still under construction. There were all kinds of things being unpacked.

      The place had a blue-green kind of feel, as if the walls had been painted a pale blue-green. There were rolls of paper unrolled on the floor. Counters were set out in random fashion, as if they hadn't been fastened to their permanent positions yet.

      There were a couple soda refrigerators with their doors open. One was on the back wall, in front of me. The other was on the wall to my left. They were both tall and narrow. The refrigerators were so cold that I could feel the cold coming from them.

      The coolers were so cold that the sodas (or bottled waters?) inside the coolers had been frozen. I figured this level of coldness was natural, since the store wasn't opened yet, so that the coolers weren't tuned to a normal level.

      There were a few people running around in the store, getting things ready. I saw at least one woman and one man. They were both Mexican. They were talking back and forth and joking with each other in English or in Spanish and English.

      I knew that the place wasn't open yet, and I felt like I shouldn't be here. But, for some reason, I felt really comfortable here. I figured I'd grab some stuff and then head back up to my apartment.

      It suddenly struck me that, now that there was a new deli below my house, it would be a lot easier for me to come downstairs and grab some frozen pizza. I thought I would suddenly be eating a lot more frozen pizza than I'd been eating in a long time.

      Dream #2

      There was some kind of television show or some kind of stage performance about adult women who had romantic relationships with young girls.

      The stage and background were white. The stage may have been clean and polished, so that it was slightly reflective.

      The women and the girls wore spandex suits with blue, pink and purple flower designs on them. They also wore something like flowing, white blouses that went up over their heads to become something like hoods, leaving a circle open for their faces. The hoods may have been topped with flat circles, which were slightly tilted.

      The women and young girls were doing a slow dance, in groups but kind of solo, where they would elevate and point forward their legs and arms slightly.

      Dream #3

      There was some kind of narration about my mother's life. There was talk about how my mother had had such a tough time because she had been a single mother. There may also have been talk about how my mother had been really upset when my father had left her.

      There was now a view of a car like a station wagon driving up a steep, mountain road. The road didn't criss-cross or spiral up the mountain: it just went straight up the steep slope. As the car drove, the narrator spoke about how my mother worked through a lot of emotional difficulties and survived to this point in life.

      Listening to this narration made me really sad for my mom. But it also made me kind of proud of her. I felt I had seen this road somewhere. It occurred to me that I might have seen the road in a dream. The surreal steepness of the road and the way the car seemed to be reaching extreme heights on this mountain all reminded me of some tall mountain dream I'd had in the past.

      I was now in the backseat of the car. My mom was driving. We had approached some place halfway up the mountain. We pulled into an asphalt parking area.

      My mom, and possibly one of my family members, maybe my sister, was talking about how lucky we were. Some of our more removed family members, my mom said, had died in pretty terrible situations. They had died all alone, sometimes in shameful ways. The closer family members of those people had had to deal with the ghastly emotional impact of those situations.

      But, my mom said, the closer members of our family who had died had died rather peacefully, with loving families around them. And, right now, all our family members were in situations where, even were they to die suddenly and unexpectedly, they would at least die in a position where they were somewhat comfortable and they knew their family loved them.

      I either thought to myself or said out loud that that wasn't true. I thought about two of my cousins, P and B. P is a man and B is a woman.

      I thought that both P and B were in situations where, if they died, they'd be all alone. At least one of them was actually in an extremely dangerous situation, though in my dream I couldn't remember where either cousin was.

      I was now out on a river bank with my family. I suddenly realized that my cousin B wasn't far away at all. She was actually in this forest. She was kayaking through this river.

      In my mind's eye I saw further down river, to a wide stretch that was shaded pleasantly by tall pine trees. Where we were, the banks were open and lawny, with jagged rocks for the river's banks.

      Maybe all my immediate family members were out on this bank. We had a couple of kayaks nearby. We must have been getting ready to go kayaking, although for some reason, I seemed to feel like I was thinking of suggesting the idea of kayaking to my family, as if it hadn't yet occurred to anybody to go kayaking yet.

      I thought of dipping one of the kayaks into the water, but the water (which was actually only moderately fast) seemed way to rough and the rocks way too jagged for the kayak to handle.

      I turned around and saw at least one of my nephews, the oldest nephew, getting dressed in an orange life jacket. I felt like everybody was getting dressed in life jackets, as if they were all getting ready to go kayaking. I thought this was great, and I offered my own life jacket to one of my nephews, since I knew they liked wearing my stuff (???).

      One of my nephews, maybe the oldest, said he'd take my life jacket. But suddenly I realized I'd left it somewhere else. It was like I'd left it in the car. But it was also like I'd left it somewhere very far away. I said I'd have to go get it. I hoped I could get it fast enough so that it wouldn't cause a delay.

      I suddenly realized that I had also left the life jacket in water somewhere. The life jacket had been in the water so long that it was now beginning to dissolve. I hoped I could pull the jacket out of the water before it dissolved entirely.

      In my mind's eye I saw the life jacket. It was white, instead of orange, but it had orange flower designs on it.

      Dream #4

      I was walking through a park. It was a clear day, pretty warm. The sun seemed to be going down. The sky was dim, and the light was partly golden and partly cool and dim.

      I walked along a concrete path in a somewhat narrow curve of the park. There was deep, green lawn on either side of the path. There were a few people in the park, just relaxing. I think everybody in the park was black.

      The sound of my breathing slowly became more and more audible. Suddenly it seemed to me like my breath was like the breathing sound of somebody in a space suit, like in the movie 2001. I wondered why my breathing would sound like this.

      It suddenly occurred to me that the reason my breathing sounded like this was because I wasn't exactly in a park. I was in a different kind of place altogether. The only time I could think of when I was in a place like this was in my dreams.

      I realized I was dreaming. There wasn't a tremendous improvement to the clarity or sensation of the dream, like there usually is when I become lucid. But I was suddenly a lot more aware of the environment.

      I smiled at a few people. I was happy to be aware, and I wanted to share my happiness somehow.

      I walked into a wider area of the park. Since there were a decent number of people around, and they all seemed to be peaceful and happy, I figured I'd try to talk with some of them, just to see what things were all about here.

      There were a couple of boys playing (with a set of blocks or other toys set up to look like a castle?) half on the concrete path and half on the grass. The boy on the path had his back turned to me.

      I smiled and addressed the boy in some way to get his attention. The boy turned his face toward me. He looked a lot older than he actually was. Something about this threw me off balance. I looked quickly at the boy and walked on down the path.

      I tried not to let the boy's surprising appearance throw me off balance. I tried to continue acting cheerful. I figured if I could keep the cheerful attitude I'd had as I'd become I could stay lucid. But I could already feel that I was dropping out of lucidity.

      I could see that I was approaching something like a brick-and-concrete, arched gate that served as an entrance to the park.

      Updated 02-26-2011 at 03:42 PM by 37466

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    10. grandfather dying; fuel-pans; snowy hill; Philadelphia beach; changing of the guard; porn mistake

      by , 02-13-2011 at 03:46 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a car with my grandfather (who, in waking life, passed away about two years ago). We were in a parking lot. It was night, probably a cold night. I was in the driver's seat, and my grandpa was in the passenger's seat.

      My grandfather told me that he had a disease and that he was going to die in a very short time, maybe as short as seven days. I got very sad to think that my grandfather was going to die so soon. What struck me more than the fact that I would miss him was the thought of him standing so close to the complete uncertainty at that moment of death.

      I started to cry. I clenched my throat and grit my teeth as I cried, as if I were trying to stifle the cry. But my tears were also very bitter, as if they were somehow electrified.

      I now stood outside of and just in front of the car. There were two trees in front of the car. They were right next to each other, possibly crowding into each other. The tree on the right (as I faced the trees) may have been some kind of evergreen tree. The tree on the left was barren of leafs, with a strange, parallel branching, with the final branches sticking out almost perfectly straight. These branches either had big, red buds on them or else something like Christmas lights.

      My grandpa was floating up into the barren tree. I may have been holding on to his hand as he floated (or climbed?) higher up into the tree. The tree was something like the way to heaven. So in this sense, my grandpa was already dying. Eventually I had to let go of my grandpa's hand.

      Dream #2

      I was in a small house like a log cabin in the middle of the woods. The place was crowded with people, all probably "my family." One man in particular, an older, skinny man, lay on a scanty bed, probably wearing long johns or a tank top and old-looking pajama pants.

      It was a really cold day and I needed to get somewhere to check on something, possibly some other house that might be in trouble. The house may have been separated from us by a lake, which was frozen now.

      I probably would go across the lake by taking some kind of vehicle -- which, now, seems to have been something like a hovercraft and ski-doo mixed together. But to drive the vehicle, I'd need fuel.

      All over the room there were these stumps of wood, stood upright, like columns. On top of the stumps there were upside-down lids for metal garbage cans.

      The upside-down lids were filled with some kind of substance. This, I understood, was fuel for the vehicle. The fuel was clear and had a kerosene-like quality to it. But it was in a partly frozen state in all the "pans." It was melting from snow-like blocks into the clear liquid state.

      I asked the old man if I could use some of the fuel for the vehicle. The old man asked me about the conditions outside. It had to do with something about the level of the snow outside. I'd been outside only a while ago, and I knew that the conditions were bad. I didn't lie to the old man.

      The old man said, "Then, no. You can't use any of the snow. You know what kind of danger you'd be putting yourself in. And in weather like this, the ice on that lake is weak. That vehicle would melt right through the ice, and you'd find yourself inside the pond."

      Dream #3

      I was out walking with one of my old friends. We were up on the crest of a snowy hill. It was a sunny day, and the sky was clear and blue.

      To our left were something like footprints. To me they probably seemed like human footprints, even though, now, they seem to me to have been gigantic footprints.

      For some reason, these footprints proved that the snow was pristine, virgin snow, untraversed by other people. This was a relief to me, as I had been afraid this whole time that people had already been climbing this hill, and that sooner or later I'd have to deal with a lot of jerks while I was out hiking.

      I looked further down the snowy slope to my left. At the base of the hill was a small town. I think I mostly saw one-story houses, probably from the 1960s or 1970s.

      Dream #3

      I was "talking" (in my head?) with a few of my family members. They had asked me to stay wherever I was for a little more time. I decided that I would.

      My family members then told me that as a reward for staying a little while longer, they would also give me a couple final days all to myself and give me a free trip (or free tickets?) to the beach.

      At this point I realized I was in Philadelphia. Apparently Philadelphia had this very short stretch of beach, but it was one of the best beaches in the world.

      I now saw this beach as if I were flying over it from a couple hundred feet in a helicopter. I saw how short the stretch of beach was. The water into which the beach receeded also looked a bit murky, greenish black, not the kind of water you'd want to swim in. It also seemed like all sides of the beach were bordered by a rather intimidating fence. I saw people on the beach. It didn't look like a very fun place to go. But I kept telling myself, It's a luxury beach, one of the best.

      I felt guilty. I didn't know why my family would feel like they needed to give me such an incentive to stay around a little while longer. They should have just been able to feel like they could ask me without having also to give me something.

      Dream #5

      I was outside in some kind of semi-suburban area that kind of feels to me now like Princeton, New Jersey. I was out in an area of open, wide, rolling lawns. In the distance were some houses and a short, long structure that was something like a church. There was also, somewhere else, a tall, stone statue of a figure like Christ.

      There were a few other people in this environment, men, around my age. At some point, some man blew a bugle or made some general call to everybody. This, I told myself, was a "changing of the guard."

      Apparently we had all been playing a game where some people were in charge of the other people. At the "changing of the guard," the people in charge were no longer in charge. I don't think anybody would be in charge at that point. Possibly the game would just be over.

      At the "changing of the guard," we all had to go to one specific place, at the top of one of the rolling hills of grass. I was heading to that place. But at some point I saw one of the men in charge.

      I had to scurry away in some weird way so that the man wouldn't see me. If he saw me, he'd taunt me or hurt me or make me do something embarrassing. He was allowed to do any of these things, because he was still in charge. And even though the "changing of the guard" had been called, if the man didn't know it, he'd still act like he was in charge. And I, for some reason, would still obey like he was in charge.

      Now I was at the top of the hill with the same man, who was apparently an old friend of mine. The game was over, and it was now time to relax. My friend had brought some women with him. The women were naked. They were younger than we; I'm not sure how much younger. They were pale white and had pale red-brown hair.

      My friend and I were going to have sex with the girls. Before this time, I now noticed, my friend and I had simply been "having sex" by masturbating and then coming onto torn up pieces of styrofome cups. I was still holding a piece of cup that was the base of the cup with just a little bit of the vessel still rising up off of it. The cup was a kind of pale, blue-green color.

      I was just getting ready to come into the cup when my friend pointed out a girl to me. She was mine. My friend immediately got busy with another girl, right in front of me.

      The girl who was mine kind of looked at me shyly. I felt bad. She kind of seemed afraid of this whole thing. I told her if she didn't want to do anything, we didn't have to. But if she did want to do something, she should lay down on her back.

      So the girl lay down on her back. I think she was lying on a soft, colorful, plaid blanket, instead of on the lawn. I was now naked. I lay down on the girl. I had a little trouble getting aroused, even though it felt good to be on the girl. Eventually, though, I did get aroused, and I finally went inside the girl. It felt good. I asked the girl if she felt okay, too.

      Dream #6

      I had apparently gotten a new phone. I couldn't figure out how to make something on the phone's internet work. I had typed in a number of addresses for sites I wanted to get to. But none of them had worked. At this moment I wanted to get to some site where I could see some info related to my work. But I couldn't get it.

      A woman who works as a coordinator for a volunteer event I go to in waking life said she could figure out the phone for me. So I gave her the phone. She's an older woman, kind of tough, but very nice. She's a little stout, with skin tan from always working in the sun. She has grey hair, which, in the dream was, I think, extremely frizzy.

      As the woman figured out the phone's internet for me, I suddenly realized that a lot of the sites I had tried to access on my phone had actually been pornographic sites. I was hoping that the woman would just access the site I needed for work and not see any of the pornographic sites.

      The woman now said she had figured the phone's internet for me. She seemed happy at first. But then she stopped, a little grossed out by whatever she had seen. She handed the phone back to me and gave me a disappointed look. I knew she had seen a porn site.

      I took the phone, wondering what site the woman had seen. The screen had purple lettering on it saying "Daddy's Little Girls." I thought, Oh god, please don't tell me this porn site is what it sounds like. But I knew that it was exactly what it sounded like.

      The background showed the side of a house with a pair of some kind of instruments that looked like something related to whatever I was looking for for work purposes. They didn't look like exactly what I was looking for, but I felt like they were close enough.

      So I said to the woman, "Oh, there it is! The product I was looking for. That's the only reason I was looking at this site!"

      The woman just continued to stare at me with that grossed-out, disappointed look.
    11. blind boy, girl's funeral; cafe of friends

      by , 01-30-2011 at 03:11 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a car like a limousine with a group of people. The interior surfaces of the limo may have been black. The inside of the limo was very dim, as if the windows were tinted. But it appeared to be a sunny afternoon outside.

      A boy sat in a sideways seat, his back against the left side of the limo. To his left was the back side of the driver's seat. A mother-like person may have been driving the limo.

      The boy made some kind of statement like, "I see the quarters are of all different colors. They won't be good to take." In my mind's eye I could see the boy's view. Against a black background were a few quarters. They all gleamed with flashing color. I remember one quarter for sure being pink. But others may have been yellow and blue.

      A man somewhere, maybe even in my head, said, "That's a strong statement, a blind boy talking about the colors of things. I suppose that's reason enough not to do the thing after all."

      I hadn't realized until this time that the boy was blind. I now understood that the boy was slowly being the person in the family who was looked to as the leader. The older man in the family had died recently.

      The boy's statement had been taken seriously because he had been blind and yet made a statement about seeing. But it had also been taken seriously because it was one of the first times the boy had made an assertion for his family to listen to.

      The boy kind of felt some anxiety. He didn't know whether he could or even should be a leader. He didn't know if his family really wanted him to be a leader.

      I also personally wondered how the boy was expected to be the leader in the family. He was just a boy. There were a lot of older men in the family, including the older man who had made such a positive comment about the boy's colored-quarter statement.

      The car was traveling past some church, which I saw outside the window. The church looked like a tan-bricked, one-story school. There was a kind of big, slightly rolling lawn in front of it.

      I knew we were heading to the church to go to a funeral. I figured it was the funeral for the leader of the family, who, I'd thought, had been an older man. But it turned out that the funeral was for a young girl. I think, however, that it now occurred to me that the girl had been the leader of the family.

      I was somehow informed how the girl had died. Her boyfriend had killed her. I saw the boyfriend in my mind. He was white, around 18-20 years old, and kind of a violent, crazy person. I now saw the story in something like an English newspaper that looked like it was formatted in an Asian style. I'm pretty sure that the newspaper was on paper. But the imagery also looks like an online paper.

      Apparently the boyfriend killed the girl after she had told him she was only 7 years old. He'd thought that the girl had led him into falling in love with her, and that she had made him a pedophile. But it turned out that the whole thing had been a game. The girl and her mother were playing a little prank on the boy, and then, when the boy was thoroughly flustered, to tell the boyfriend the girl's real age. The girl 13.

      But the prank turned out bad. The boyfriend got terribly violent right away and killed the girl. I think the mother got murdered as well.

      Dream #2

      It was night. I walked into a cafe. The cafe only seemed to be half-lit, as if the store were actually closed down. But there were a lot of workers behind the counter. The workers all wore black shirts and beige baseball caps. They may also have worn aprons. I walked to my left, past the counter. As I turned the corner to the right, I came to another counter.

      Passing this way, I saw a girl I recognized as a friend from my past. (I don't think I really know her from waking life.) She was really pretty, with tan skin and blue eyes. Her light brown hair was turning grey. This surprised me. I couldn't believe my friend's hair was grey! But, then, I thought, we're all getting old, me and my friends.

      Behind the second counter a lot of workers were all sat in folding chairs before a television. They were all watching some movie. This was like some kind of recreational activity for them. A man behind the counter stood up and walked toward the counter to me. I may have recognized him as a friend as well. He probably asked me what I would like. I probably asked him for a coffee.
    12. But Perhaps Not the Flood

      by , 10-04-1982 at 11:09 AM
      Morning of October 4, 1982. Monday.



      I am seemingly traveling on my own, heading south to an uncertain destination. There are a lot of isolated areas with a lot of shrubs, mostly. There are some back roads I follow here and there. Vaguely, I am trying to remember if I should be getting to work and what day it is.

      I discover an unusual farmhouse behind a cluster of higher shrubs. It looks abandoned. Just south of that are a few more houses, but more modern-looking. They still seem a bit unmaintained in some ways or perhaps not yet completed. A man of about forty is on a smaller tractor mower in the backyard of one larger property. I ignore him at first.

      I investigate the farmhouse, going inside through a door hanging from one hinge at an angle. There are also piles of wood blocking some other areas. There is sort of a damp smell and a desolate mood at first. Not much happens. I look around and notice that the decor is fairly unusual, but I am not sure why.

      Finally, I go into a room that has a book on a desk but the paper is unusual, somewhat felt-like, and the ink is a bit fuzzy. There is an old photograph of a beautiful girl that lived in the house (late 1940s?) before it was abandoned due to a “natural disaster”. Looking around, it is possible that the disaster was a flood, as some features seem to relate to water somehow, as perhaps reminiscent of something you would see on an old ship. There is some sort of lantern or old-fashioned kerosene lamp but it has a different design somehow.

      Looking at the book, which seems to be a diary, I discover, through images and seemingly discerning some of the writing, that the girl had a pet otter that she really cared for. I do not think that she had it in a cage. I sense a strange sadness at the idea of someone leaving their home after a seeming longer history in the region and wonder what had happened to them.

      Later, a couple other people are in their yard. One may be the man I saw on the lawn mower. He tells me that the whole area had been under water until fairly recently. He mentions that the farmhouse was there long before the new houses were built south of it.

      It dawns on me that the girl and her parents were some sort of aquatic human-like creatures (but mostly human in appearance) and that the “natural disaster” was not a flood, but the waters receding so that they had to leave their home to go to a river or lake somewhere to get away from land-dwelling humans, especially. Thus it turns out that this was one of those intriguing endings (and a very similar mood and awareness) that seemed to have intense sarcasm for “every man” along similar lines as “I’m Eager Beaver” and “The Four-Fanged Snake of Swamp Garden”, two of which I have already posted.

      Updated 07-02-2015 at 11:12 AM by 1390

      Categories
      memorable