non-lucid

I recalled nothing, but right around the time I finished reading this post a little fragment surfaced. Reading the word "shadow" reminded me of a dream scene I had right before waking in which I was kind of arguing with my dad. I think I was trying to express how I could feel so many feels, maybe even all of them so that when I told him or someone I understood something that I truly did. He was pretty mad with me for claiming that and bitterly said it didn't count or matter anyway because "You're nothing but shadows" or "You're nothing but a shadow." In the dream, I was pretty taken aback because the comment was so unexpected, not to mention the magnitude of spite I felt coming from him.

Bad feel if I ever knew one.

I had quite a vivid dream involving a ghost the morning of the 3rd. I first noticed it moving the kitchen faucet. The ghost would just interact with random objects at first, but as the dream progressed it became more violent--bending window blinds and trying to rip down decor and curtains.

This morning I was back in a school building. Hallways and bathrooms. Even school buses right before I woke.

I remember rocks and water. The sun is out and I look down. My everyday clothes are on and I'm standing thigh-deep in something like the Mediterranean sea. The water is quite clear as I can see large stones very distinctly in the distance underwater. The sun is out and the tide gently shuffles the water around my thighs.

I'm moving toward the shore. My brother helps me out of the water as not to slip on the slimy rocks against the crashing waves. On shore, some sort of gameplay has formed with throwing rocks into certain parts of the water. For example, people are hollering about "the island" which is a very white sort of land formation, very small (about as large as a tire). If you're able to land a rock on it, you basically win whatever game it is and can move on.

Bunch of nonsense.

I was home with my mom and hungry. I found some leftover steamed rice to eat but found nothing to have with it. I used the ceramic bowl from my dorm days that has a glossy turquoise interior and matte black outer finish.

A lady who was at a party earlier in another dream is suddenly snooping around the apartment I'm temporarily staying in. She doesn't know me too well and thinks I'm a child so when my dad leaves the place, she comes snooping in and tries to go through his files. I approach her and close the folder she's going through and asks her what's the matter. She's sort of taken aback and after realizing she can't get away with this she says the suspicions about my father are back. She invented some tale about his time in an institution 3 years ago and how he had fits of uncontrollable laughter. Then another tale about how he's a potential murder suspect of a girl and boy.

The dream shifted and I'm living the story of him murdering the 18 year old girl and boy. The girl is blonde and the boy has brown hair. They're strapping something to a horse or pony. My dad comes out of the cabin beside them and is young Harrison Ford (think of the first indiana jones). It's raining outside and inside the cabin. He offers some sort of help. I imagine he's going to try and rape the girl since he's been single for years. I don't remember exactly what happens but I think he kills them. As soon as he starts grinning that Harrison Ford grin of satisfaction, something bumps into the cabin door in front of him. Lightening flashes a mutilated body/face with empty eye sockets of a woman with tangled brown hair is momentarily visible. It's the tormented soul of his ex wife who he apparently murdered in the dream? Looks like the seductive brunette in Eraserhead.

Dream shifts but still relevant.

Fam (no one is divorced now or murdered) was moving back into our first house that's now currently run over by Mexican gangs and shit. The outside of the house was a light turquoise but it actually looked okay. We had parked about 3 cars in the driveway since the whole fam was there. Some of my dad's friends are over playing catch with two dogs and smoking cigars and drinking beers. The house is way too small for all of us as we've grown up, but we're moving back in for the time being. I head inside and ask for my father. My mom mentions he's acting strange and won't budge from his room. I open the door to his room and he's doing t'ai chi beside his bed in the dark (his walls and bedspread are teal). I tell him I know his "secret" and that coaxes him out of his bedroom. I end up getting him to follow me to the street outside our house to look at this glorious river that had formed when they cleared out a Dead End road and joined it to a new town. The water was ridiculously, vivid blue.

Pretty short clip I remember: The scene starts on the top floor of my gram's old house. A younger cousin is grabbing some pot he'd hid. He goes downstairs and I'm the only one on the floor. The whole extended family is downstairs so there must be a party going on. Maybe it's the 4th or Christmas. So I start going through my stuff I haven't unpacked yet trying to find something when I hear a different cousin, same age, come upstairs complaining. Then he's basically whining and sort of crying and he gets louder. He's loud enough for the whole house to hear him but when he gets closer to my room I want to hide so he's not embarrassed I can hear him and stuff because he's really despairing at this point. I can't remember what he was so upset about, but he was asking why something was a certain way at one point. And I can't remember any more