TheBearLife

I believe due to my constant research and obession of becoming lucid i have forced my mind to become aware of every dream i have,
There is not one dream i do not recall,
From the dreams of walking around college as if in real life only subtle changes such as lecturers teaching in what i believe to be spanish rather than english and so on...
as far as gaining control of these dreams goes i have however been unsuccessful as soon as i attempt to change or take control of dreams i either wake up or am taken to another dream in which i am taken off gaurd and have to take time to adjust by which time it would have changed again, any advice on this?
it would be appreciated as it is driving me slightly insane with me now constantly performing RC's in real life as the line between dreams and reality becomes less and less.

Typed with steady fingers by a slighlty exhausted and twitching bear.
Regards

The Bear Life
O.T.H

This is the second dream that i am constantly haunted by and have no control over my actions,
Please note i am fully aware during these dreams but am only able to see and remember these dreams cleary but i have no control over the path or environment at all...with that in mind here we go,

The Drowning:

I 'wake up', its damp and cold...im disorientated and have no idea of my area, it seems to be somewhat of a beach but the tide is high and i am simply on a plateau of semi wet sand a small island basically...
i feel eyes watching me but there is nobody in sight...
im afraid cold and hungry(i can actually feel hunger quite acutely)...
I try walking and end up collapsin due to weakness...i black out again,
When i come to it is not due to dampness it is because i hear voices...
"Another one poor fool"-The nameless voice whispers in a hushed tone...almost saying it as if he really was pitying "me"...
I pretend to be asleep but that just makes what they do next easier...
I feel myself being lifted roughly...
I then try escape but am to late as my hands and feet are tied...
and what do you know its my good old friends the soldiers....with those same damn shortswords...
the scary thing is as i see this i look down at my stomach almost in memory of previous dream...i dont know how thats possible as i have no control so it is my bodies own doing...
so there i am tied up and looking at my stomach where in the previous dream i was stabbed....
I suddenly feel hands wrap around my neck...
I cant breathe now im being strangled...
My vision goes distorted as i struggle for oxygen...
at this point the soldier strangling me makes his face seen....and to my almost constant repetitive shock it is the very soldier that stabbed me in my previous dream...
He looks at me and yet again smiles and says with a twisted smile now on his face almost a forced look..
"dont worry this time...everything will be alright...for good"
and with that i find myself being held under the water of this massive ocean...
I struggle with all my might but eventually succumb to lack of oxygen and black out with the feeling of water rushing into my body and lungs......at which point i wake up...
//notes//
Upon awakening from this dream i wake up spluttering as if i have been drowned as well as coughing my nose is yet again bleeding and i cannot breathe properly until coughing ceases
//End
any comments help or advice on gaining control of these as well as at least not waking up to a bed with my blood all over it would be a lovely change of scenery.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
The Bear

Every night it differs between two scenes...
I need to get control of these or i'll go insane.
1st Dream Journal Entry but ive been having these dreams since i was a child....
Hidden message i cant decode without gaining control...
so here we go....wish me luck...

Dream 1:
I ''wake'' up outside of my fathers old house a large thatch roof house... im in the garden..
There are soldiers everywhere they're searching for something..
I have no control of my movements or actions...
My feelings are fear... All of a sudden i am noticed by some soldiers who start to chase me wielding shortswords.
I run with all my might but i am small in my dream and one step to me is five steps for my chasers.
i see a fence that can be scaled and head towards it my heart is pounding i am afraid in my arms im holding a teddy bear of sorts and hugging it closely well i run..tears are streaming down my eyes....
i start to scale the fence and peak to the top..
My hope rises and as i reach the other side...
There are countless soldiers surrounding me...(out of the pan into the fire)
One walks up to me with a smile on his face...he says everything will be alright...
he takes my teddy bear away from me gently...
and then proceeds to force the shortsword deep into my stomach piercing through my clothes and sliding it in as if it were nothing..
i go cold...it is such an odd sensation...not pain but uncomfortable....as he lays me onto the ground i start to black out blood running out the side of my mouth...
he places the teddy into my arms and they walk away calmly...
as i slowly fade into darkness i wake up into reality from this dream..
//notes//
My stomach feels uncomfortable after this dream...i am short of breathe and sweating as if i was running...and my nose almost always is bleeding....
//
So yea i guess this is my first dream journal entry...comment if thats possible insight would help...i need to learn to become lucid...if i can just escape there or change my path in the dream....or something...i'll post the second dream shortly..i know this was a long one and i apologize just needed to get it out...i just recently joined this site...hoping for positive feedback...maybe even somebody who can relate to this and help me..
Have a Great Day Everyone

Regards
The Bear