UseYourDelusion

again! it's been a while since i posted, but it's also been a while since i had any memorable dreams. i actually had two, one about a week ago and a few fragments last night.

i'll start out with the dream from last week.

it started out with a view of what looked to be a buddhist temple. it was set atop a flight of what seemed like hundreds of stairs. there was a thick forest in the background. in front of the temple, thousands upon thousands of people were walking up the stairs to enter it. suddenly, i am at the entrance to the temple, which is now empty for some reason, decrepit, and overgrown with vines and whatnot. for some reason, i am wielding a gun, now, an m1 carbine to be more specific. and then, this is where it gets wierd. suddenly, a bunch of chimpanzees in black leather armor come running at me. some of them have clubs, and some of them have guns. none of them fire at me, and none of them with the clubs try to hit me. they just chase me, and i pick them off one by one. it went on for a while like this, a how-long-can-you-last type of thing. the dream ended with me continuing to pick off monkeys.

quite satisfying, because i hate monkeys.
and yes, this is a "long" dream for me.

and now, for the fragments.

in each fragment, one of my greatest fears came to life.

the first one was spiders. i am afraid of all bugs, but i am afraid of spiders the most. this fragment was while i was just falling asleep. i could feel them crawling on me. up and down my legs, on my face. in my head, i just saw piles of tarantulas. hundreds of them, just crawling over each other. it's hard to explain, but i could see them crawling inside my empty skull. all of this was when i was awake. it was odd, i couldn't escape this by waking up, because i was already half awake to begin with.

the first dream was kind of indescribable as far as perspective goes, but as for the next two these are the first dreams i can remember that i've had in the third person. and, for that matter, the first dreams where i can clearly make out faces (the faces being my own). i can never make out faces in dreams, they are either blank or blurred. but in these two, i can clearly make out my face, and even the faces of those around me in this next dream (granted, they are surgeons wearing masks, but....)

the second great fear i have is surgery. and, you'll note as the dream goes on, dying violently. i am absolutely mortified of surgery. i cannot handle the fact that somebody is poking around inside of me with scalpels and needles. i am too afraid that i would wake up, because the entire time i was knocked out i would still be thinking of what happened if i woke up. which makes absolutely no sense and it is nearly impossible that that would ever happen. ah, the anxiety complex.

it begins with me, laying on a steel table, in absolute darkness except for one overhead light. there are three surgeons huddled around me, all male. i have a normal outfit on, black pants and a red jacket. the surgeons appeared to have just opened up my entire torso right through my clothes. who needs gowns, right? i am looking at myself behind two surgeons. i appear awake and aware of the fact that i am awake during a surgery, but it doesn't seem to faze me. now, the view changes to a closeup of the area of my body that has been opened up. i have minimal knowledge of anatomy, but for some reason everything seemed perfect. everything was muscle. then, one of the surgeons took a knife, stabbed me with it, and yanked it down, thus cutting a hole in my muscle that i could now see into. under it, i noticed my ribcage and lungs. he continued to jab and cut my flesh until my entire upper body looked like it had been beaten with a cleaver. there was blood everywhere, and my heart was beating (i was still alive...?) inside my shattered ribcage. the view moved so that i was now looking at myself from a birds-eye view, directly above the operating table. my eyes were still open and i was smiling. i couldn't tell if my heart was beating now, but i really hope that at that point i was dead. now, another surgeon took some sort of oversized trench knife/brass knuckes combo, and proceeded to separate the upper half of my body from the lower. i saw my intestines spill out, my legs fall to the ground, and the upper half of me slowly slide off the table. i fell to the ground, eyes open, still smiling.


my final fear is isolation, and loneliness. the scariest thing i could think of is going through life without anybody caring about you.

again, this is me in the third person. i can tell it's me, because once again i am wearing one of my own dresses, boots, and i can also tell by my hair. my back is turned, though.

i'm in a corn field, although there's not much there because it is winter. my back is turned, and i am sitting on the ground cross-legged. i just sit there for a while and listen to the cool breeze. then, out of thin air, thousands of locusts appear around me. they surround me and start biting me. i have no form of self defense, it is impossible for me to get up and run. i am being eaten alive by these locusts, screaming for help, but no one's there. soon, everything just becomes a brown blur and the dream is over.

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh