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    The Birds

    by , 02-25-2023 at 07:44 PM (146 Views)
    I was in an IMAX theater. The seat I was sitting in was facing backwards. Weird design choice.

    There was a kid next to me I understood to be the child of a family friend. Some other kid had a crush on her, and she loudly rejected him on a microphone that could be heard in the whole theater. Poor fellow, that was gonna be hard to live down.

    A trailer came up for some new Pixar film and it looked weird as hell. There was this "invisible woman" but the face looked like floating monster lips and eyes, and she was wearing a colorful faux fur coat.

    I was inside the trailer now, walking around the house from the shot. It was stuck in a tornado, à la The Wizard of Oz and I could look out the window and see the city below. The city was slightly pixelated, but it was still a pretty good effect. After all, when you watch the movie, you'd never be looking this closely at it.

    The rapid spinning of the home made it hard to walk and I fell over.

    Back in the IMAX theater. The chairs were facing the right way now. I guess they had done some fast renovations while I was in the trailer!

    The movie started, and I could hear my mom, dad, and aunt remarking on the incredible fidelity of the picture. After 30 seconds of them I told them to be quiet since we were in a theater, and of course was greeted with "no you be quiet."

    The movie started with a guy claiming it took 168 bullets to kill a bird. Then I was holding a gun, being told by a man to shoot at the peanut shells that were lying all over the table. I knew this was a trick, since the birds were known to spawn from shot peanut shells.

    I then was instructed to shoot one of the birds (which was caged), but I found the trigger very difficult to pull. I was getting nervous since I knew the whole theater was waiting for me to shoot so that the movie could continue. Finally I managed to do it, and I was given a smaller gun. It had a sliding attachment I was told I could pull back for additional power. A grizzled veteran came in and told me that if I saw a lit cigarette, I should immediately put it into a nearby soda fountain or the entire place could burn down. These were the mechanics of the game, and I agreed this all make sense.

    I was now in an antique shop and was instructed to shoot old toasters, clocks, and so on. If they died when they were shot they were clearly enemies. I shot an antique clock. We then descended down a long flight of stairs, passing many Spiderman and monsters. These were not enemies, we were after birds and toasters.

    At the bottom were many more evil electronic devices (which were just sitting there doing nothing) so I shot them all. The platoon leader was impressed.

    We came back up to the surface, onto a city plaza with interesting modern sculptures. I was wondering how this game even worked, given that the graphics were far too good to render in real time. I concluded that this was still a prerendered video, and that the gun [and enemies] were the only things being real-time rendered.

    We tried to go somewhere else but a "closed" sign came up. Ended up back in the original shop, ready to descend the staircase again.

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    Updated 02-25-2023 at 07:46 PM by 99823

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