non-lucid

[I have two dreams, but I just write down one. The second got me really depressed and I don't want to post about it here]

Disclaimer: The sequence you are about to read is slight sexual

A lot of people are around me. It's evening, everything seems nice and normal. Some friends are there also. We are standing outside of the Pub, drinking something. One of my friends keeps disappearing: at times he is there, sometimes he isn't been found anyway, then he is insides, then again outsides an so on. I get really confused about it. I try to talk to him but he isn't really listening. I make the decision to follow him a bit to see what's going on.

The scenery has changed completely. It's like I am in a park or something, just before the gates. They are open, I see a long road leading on a top of a hill. But that hill is so huge, it's nearly a mountain so high, that I just can see the road the first 10 meters.
Another friend of mine is here also. He seems to be drunk. He keeps on blabbering stuff. I try to listen but just a few words or fragments get past.

It seems to me he is talking about the friend I kept following. He said that he found a single girl who wanted to fuck him. He saw them going up the hill to find a good place. I am a bit confused as I didn't saw any girl.

I tried to recall and I suddenly had a (false) memory I wanted to check first. I got my smartphone and I looked on Facebook. I suddenly see that there was some kind of conversation between the girl and my friend, that they were meeting each other at the park. I looked up who was the girl and I saw that she was named "Marina".

Although the name was strange, I thought I've seen her before. I then recall (rightly) that I was introduced to her on a student party a month ago (and since I haven't seen her, i don't even have her as a friend on FB).

This made me some kind of angry. I felt angry about the fact both of them getting hooked up. They both don't know each other and she seemed really shy. Why what was going on around here.

The friend came from the hill. He asked us, why we are still here. We should get home and mind our own business.

My other friend thought of leaving, but I was still angry/confused. We started some kind of argument ending him leaving for the hill and I kicking a dog that appeared out of no where.

Then the scenery changes again. I am in my apartment once again. it's dark inside, there are no lights on. I hear noise coming from one of the rooms. I heard two people fucking.

I wanted to go to the toilet, which is next to the room where the loud noises came off. I didn't want to pass the door, so I went back to my room.

For some reason I knew that it was "Marina" and my friend. This makes me angry again.

Then I think about it. I sit on my bed, still in the dark room. I realized that this was MY apartment, so why are both of them HERE? I got even more angry. I wanted to do something but my conscious shifted once again.

I was laying in my bed. I still thought of both. And then it hit me.

This was a dream.

I did an RC to verify.

It told me I was awake.

Yup, you here right. I was awake. I have evidence of it: I wrote down some sentences in my scribble pad that I'm using now to write the dream completely down.
It was like having a False Awakening, but totally backwards.

Today I tried to be more conscious about my dream and tried a few new things. For more detail, visit my workbook

Episode 1

I am in a bar or something, it really looks old, maybe medieval or something. There were some Vikings in it, or some warriors or something. It was really strange. The scenery was so strange n bizarre, that I got conscious about this silliness. I was like: Yeah what ever, this is really silly but I might as well play the game and surrender to this craziness.
There was a guy talking to me. He wanted to talk to a person in the bar, but he couldn't for one reason or another. I said:

- Hey man, you have to talk here really "special", so that it works.

I shouted to a viking wearing a strange mask made of steal. I don't recall exactly what I talked (I recalled this early in the morning half asleep) but I was talking really old-fashioned English, insulting him, talking really ... like Conan the Warrior lol.

The conversation got to the point where the Viking insulted the guy I talked to at the beginning. He said that he had stolen his "magic mirror sword", which broke into 7 pieces. Then he corrected him self, he was remembering that someone else stole it and hide it at several places around. We should go and look for it or we got in some "trouble where would rather die at the place instead of waiting till it's over" (whatever he meant by it).

Still buying the strangeness of the scenery I went out of the bar.

But something changed. The "feeling of surrealness" I had vanished a bit, so that I wasn't doing things to consciously.

I was standing in a mall again. I still searched for the pieces of this mirror sword. I wanted to go to the third floor, but instead to take the stairs or the elevator, I took some kind of carousel. I remember in detail how it looked like.

Imagine those inflatable castle for kids where they jump in. Imagine it 30 meters (33 yards) long and wide, and 6 meters (19 feet) high. It was shaped like a vulcano. On every side there were 6 tunnels leading to the top. In each tunnel there was some kind of moving floor. There was also a rope in it to grip yourself in it. The tunnels were really narrow, so that only a small kid could get inside.

I didn't think that much about it and went into one tunnel. Instead of leading me to top of the volcano, it took me to the 3 floor. This makes logically speaking no sense at all.

So I could simply go on looking for the pieces. I realized I had some machine on my back, which had some wires. those wires directly lead into my spine. I feel how they give me electric impulses. I'm in pain and try to get ride of it.
So I go into a restaurant in this mall. I "hang my back up on the hat stand". I struggle to get it off (the wires and stuff). It takes really long. In the meantime there comes a waiter. He's really old. He asks me what I'm doing here and if he could help me. I explain to him the situation and he leaves.

Suddenly there comes a girl I know which I find really annoying. I don't like her at all, cause she's always talking stupidly about things and she is a really awkward person. I get pissed off.

She says:

- Oh hi there. You know what? We got teamed up to find those things you are looking for. I searched everywhere but couldn't find it. I don't even know what we would look for. You know, this organization of the university is really shitty.

She kept on talking I got really angry about it. Why me? Why now? Please leave me alone ...

There came another team made of three people I know also. I don't like them either, because they think they are at the top of everything. They are ripping the plants out of the pots to look inside if they don't find anything.

- Haha, the stupidest of the three said, I bet nobody got this idea!

But they don't find any. I'm feeling really helpless. I'l teamed up with a bimbo, I have wires attached to my bag and I don't have found any piece.

My "team-mate" isn't there anymore and I manage finally to get the wires of. I feel a bit relieved and move around the mall. I go to some shops to find the pieces. But I don't find anything. I lose interest of the search which started in an awesome way.

I meet again the bimbo. She is annoyed and keeps on talking and talking, but I don't listen to her. She finishes speaking finally.
I'm reacting in typical Yossarian-fashioned way. I lift my thumb over my shoulder and say to her with an harsh and uncaring face: Screw!
She looks at me and doesn't understand what I am talking about. I emphasize it more:

- Eehhh, I don't care!

She looks really angry than sad. She doesn't know what to say, so she says nothing and finally leaves me the fuck alone.

I walk away and leaving her alone.

I can't recall what happened next. I quickly wrote some taglines when I woke up after this first dream.

I recall something about being in a garden or something, I have a broken leg and I'm walking with crutches. My brother is in a roll-chair and we have some kind of argument

Episode 3

Why episode 3? Well, in between the 2 episodes, there should be an other dream sequence. But after I woke up from it, I forgot to write it down

Anyway, I don't recall it that great as my first dream sequence. I remember a lot of fragments which I can't match together. There was also a brief lucid moment (I think), but It was more like a daydream after I woke up.

a) I'm in a water fun park. A few friends of mine are there also. We are playing cards, but i can't remember where we played. I think it was on a raft or something. There came two other guys who looked like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. They had "normal" voices and were talking, like the rest of us in Icelandic. They took a lot of space on the raft, so that I had to make place so that I nearly well of it.

b) I'm a background dancer of a singer. It is on the same place as before. I look really different. It's like I was in another body or something. I was dancing around really stupidly.

c) I and a few friends of mine are waiting for something. i don't know what we were waiting for. I recall that there was something about a guy named Carlos, that we didn't know/or made up to annoy people.

d) That's the part where I had some day-dream-ish experience

We are still at the same place as before (the Carlos part). It was a grand square. Around were some old houses. The sky looked gray. It looked like I was in Brussels once again.

We are talking about our lives and how strange and stupid they seemed at times. There was a big pannel in the middle, which showed the one standing in front of, which "statistics" in his life happened and in what way they were linked to another. Teere were 3 spaces on it where I could read:

Relationship status:
Age:
Greatest Regrett:

One after another we stood in front of it to find it out. I discovered that I was in a relationship with one of the girls. My best friend had the same discovery. The two of them were talking about it and how strange all this episode was.

This puzzled me a lot. Like really alot. I tried to recall, when I was in a relationship with her. In that waterpark? NO, impossible. Where else? I couldn't recall it all. I was feeling really strange. I tried again to recall. But I couldn't. and it really bothered me. I recalled that I had a relationship, but not with her, but with my ex. But this was history; It could only be after this. But I couldn't still recall.
In the mean time, the scenery changed completely white. there was nothing around me. It appeared to me that there was no sound, no time, no space. I tried to recall, but couldn't

I woke up and I was really lost. I had one sentence stuck in my head. It was about that supposed relationship. It was a sarcastic sentence about her: "What an impression do you have made! "

Arrgh.

I had some dreams I could remember well as I woke up.

But mysteriously, my memory vanished the time I got up and came back from the bathroom.

I just recall 3 things:

1. I wrote a test to become a baker (what the hell), but I had to answer some questions about french literature (again what the hell?). Naturally I couldn't answer the questions and left without giving the test back.

2. I'm waiting in front of a train crossing, which stands in middle of my street (where there is none)

3. Something about Ninjas. But I can't recall more

[dreams were really vivid and clear, unfortunately I just remember episodes of it. It seems to me, that all the dreams were bound together]

Fragment 1

I'm on a hill. I have some kind of argument with a girl. I can't recall what we talked about. She was really pissed off.
I left her alone and took a motorcycle. I ride down the hill on the road. There are other people driving next to me. We gather speed. In my dream I recall that I've never drove such an engine. I got a bit anxious about it (but didn't realize that I was dreaming). I even didn't wear an helmet. I was driving with flip-flops. I gathered speed. There was this first turn. I steered in the right direction but my motorcycle moved really strange. It took me a while before I could drive perfectly.
So I drive down this hill, through my home-town and finally stop at a parking lot. I didn't want to drive anymore, cause I didn't want to crash.
So I walked the rest. In midway, there was a guy addressing to me suddenly:

- Could you help me please? I'm looking for [insert strange name you never heard of]
- I'm sorry, I don't know. I even doubt that this places exists.

Suddenly my brother came up and asked what's the matter. The guy asks him the same question. My brother knows the place exactly. He explains him where to go. I listen to his explanations and I suddenly know the place, but didn't know that it had even a name.

Fragment 2

I'm on my own birthday party. I arrive with some delay. My guests don't mind that at all. There are at least 50 people who came to my party. Everyone was really happy and cheerful. There were even people I haven't seen for ages, childhood-friends, some complete strangers. But I don't mind at all. I'm really happy that they are a lot of people.
We start a first party game. It is called "climb a tree". There are a few palms around, or more precisely trees that resembles palms. It hat a long trunk with no branches, but the trunk was perfectly vertical.
There, including me, 5 participants. After a brief countdown, we start. I'm the only one who succeeds to get of the ground. I don't slide down, I'm climbing the three like a squirrel or an monkey. It is really hard to explain how I did it. I had my arms and legs wrapped around it and moving them alternately up and down, made me climb that tree.
The people around me were really amazed. They took photos of me. I climb higher and higher, so that I'm finally at the top of the tree. I'm really happy. Suddenly my cell phone rings. I ignore it a moment, but it get's louder and louder. I finally pick it up.
On the other end there was a guy who I really despise. I've not seen him since high school. Apparently I had invited him to my birthday party. I was really pissed of about it. I try to be as cheerful as I was before.

- I can't make it to the party, he says, I really wanted to, but I can't. I'm sorry.

- Ohh, that's nothing, there are a lot of other parties to come.

I quickly hang up

Fragment 3

I'm still on this party. A few childhood friends are talking with me about another friend who couldn't come to the party

Fragment 4

A last game of my party: Travelling. The first duo who manages to go at a place, wins. I run around with my best friend. We go through a lot of streets. the places seem familiar, but really strange. It looked like every street existed in an other city. A mixed place with a lot of different features.
My friends has the idea to borrow those free bikes you can lend in some cities. I don't know how this free lending system works (cause I've never used it before. He explains me and shows me exactly how.
So we ride those bikes. But I have an issue with the steering. It falls apart and I have to fix it. It takes a whle. As I look up, my friend had disappeared. I drove further to find him back. But it's difficult. I remember that he had an white blue stripped shirt on.
I saw alot of people together. Some of them are wearing the same shirt. It seems like I was looking for Waldo.
I couldn't find him and shouted his name. The people laughed. They all started shouting the same name to confuse me.

[end]

[two fragments not bound together. 1: In my "dream-library" 2. Through a city in November]

1.

I walk in an house. There are three shelves with really old books. They are wrapped in plastic so they don't deteriorate by the finger of the visitors. I'm really interested in old books so I keep searching for a book, that might take my attention.
But there is no book. I'm really disappointed and want to walk to the first floor. But I recall that last time I was here, there were no interesting books either.
So I was really confused what to do next. I was searching for a book which title I couldn't recall.
I went to another room on the ground floor. There were some people working in it. They were installing lamps, electricity and stuff. It looked like it was some kind of renovation work or they were building a new room up.
I saw on the roof that there was an attic door. I want to open it to walk up. But I couldn't it was closed. I took a screwdriver I found nearby and started to loosen the screws. I wanted to open that door so I could look in this secret room locked away.
But the workers get angry.

- Shouldn't you stop this shit and help me with the lamps?

This made me really uncomfortable, so I ran out the room.
I'm back in the room I was before. I look again through the shelves but don't find any. I'm searching and searching, get angry at this stupid bookstore where there are only 3 dozens of books.


This place is familiar to me. Afterwards I could recall, that this is a place which I visit only in my dreams. It's kind of an recurring dream, where the patterns seems identical. Unfortunately I couldn't see that much of it. the dream was a bit blurry on the spots were i directly looked where clear, the stuff around it was blurred.

2.

I'm walking through a town. It looks really familiar, but I don't know exactly where I am. It's night I think, the sky was black, but surprisingly the streets where really bright.
There is suddenly a friend next to me. He's wearing pants, a t'shirt and a jacket. He complains that he is cold. I wanted absolutely to go in somewhere.
Suddenly there are a lot of people around, someone says he should stop complaining.

- I'm sorry he says, but I'm not a viking like him, I can't stand the cold. Hey it's November!

He pointed towards me. I look down and see that I'm wearing really short shorts one would wear to swim (not a swimsuit, but those trousers), sandals, a white t-shirt

Suddenly I drive around in an horse-cab with 4 people. They seem drunk and preoccupied. One of them doesn't seem really absent minded. He's staring like he's blind; The others try to shake him awake but it doesn't work.

Suddenly he starts saying that he's got stuck in the 4 dimension, but can't leave, cause Peter didn't let him.

[really weird lol]

I don't recall much

I coordinated a marathon or something, it started in an hotel.
After that I coordinated a school play, it was a mix of Hamlet and the Holy Grail (Monty Python). It was really strange, there was one as King Arthur who wondered if he should become King of Britain or not (To be king or not to be king, that's the question)

[I can't remember that much about it. ]


I'm in front of a mirror, which seems to be in an hotel. I'm trying to shve with an electric razor, but it isn't working at all.

The next I remember is that I'm standing in a railway station. I want to go home. It seems like I'm back from a business trip or whatever. I want to take the plane (yes the plain, not the train). The cashier says to me:

- We are really sorry but your flight is fully booked. Also your ticket has to get used in the next hour or it will be not usable anymore.
- But I want to go home! A friend awaits me back in Brussels.
- I'll see what I can make .... I have a seat in the train from here to there.
- What?

I don't understand what he wants.

- It's easy we are here in Manchester. You'll take the train to Paris. And then you'll take the plane to Brussels.

I don't remember what I said next.

He tears my ticket apart.

- Now your ticket is valid you can go and take a seat!

He throws them at the floor. I pick them up.

....

I'm sitting in a full train. I don't know, when I should go out. I ask the cashier. He tells me that I have to wait 6 hours.

....

I'm swimming in a river. I see the Eiffel tower and assume that I'm swimming in the Seine. But the river is twice as large and looks more like the Rhine or a very stretched out lake Constanz. I swim back to a house because I don't want to get sick of the filthy water.

(that's all)

[2-3 sequences, non-lucid, 1-2: Getting shout at ; Controlling a group of people who had no contact with money, 3: Film-like Scene, where a secret agent kills a group of Nazi-officers]

1-2.

- You drive me nuts, you drive me nuts!

A woman is shouting at me. I'm sitting in a room of my old apartment, it's dark outside, and it's unbearable hot inside. I'm sitting there half naked in my pajama pants.

- You idiot, you idiot!

The woman keeps shouting at me. She seems really angry, but I don't know why. I'm looking into the television. There is some reportage about a celebrity.

- Isn't this Henry Fonda?, I asked the woman.

- Fonda? Fonda? Is that all you can think of? It's 16:00 pm, you still have your pajama on, you slept until now and you are just preoccupied if this guy is Fonda or not!

Silence. She keeps on repeating "you're driving me nuts". In the meantime I'm eating some pizza.

- Besides, she says, it's not Fonda, it's Henry Ford.

- Impossible! Are you sure you're not crazy or something?

My view shifts to third person, I'm floating through the ceiling and stand before a gigantic warehouse or something

There is a door in front of me, which opens. A good friend of mine opens the door. he's walking backwards and seems to hold a lecture to a group of people. He says:

- Isn't it unthinkable. Some metal pieces that controlled the whole world!

He stretches is hand out towards me, behind his back. I take my wallet and give him some paper money and some coins. He re-enters the ware house and closes the door. But I leave it a bit open, so that my friend can easily open it.

I'm really preoccupied, I know that we are doing something wicked. I don't like it all. 2 other friends approach me. They came with another crowd of people. I have the feeling that they came to see the other people inside. I close the door again, so that no-one can lurk inside.

- We should tell them, i said to the other friends. It's not cool withholding the truth about money.

I was referring to the people inside. My two friends shake there heads.

- Don't be that preoccupied! There's nothing wrong about that.

The door opens again. My friend from inside comes out the same way as before.

- And that's why all kind of money should be refuted!, he says to the crowed.

- What do you want from me?, he asks me.
- You know that you're doing wrong to them?, I say, you can't keep them shot off the real world

He seemed a bit guilty. But than he said:

- That's why we gathered all those other people outside, so that reality can hit them hard. really hard.

- Yeah, we want to see the dummies!, someone yelled from the crowd.

All the people suddenly open another door and enter the hall. I'm running after them to see what's coming next.

Inside, it seems to me that I knew that the place isn't real. It seems to be a school, but not an ordinary one. I remember that I visit this school only in my dreams. At this moment I wake up.

3.

- This is going to be violent!

A general is talking to me. We are in my home town in a narrow street, in front of a hotel.

- Yossarian, you are going to infiltrate the room of those nazi-officers and prepare the terrain!

Around me there is a group of youngsters, mostly girls, some of them between 14 and 16. I'm wondering how old they are, because I know that I am bad at guessing ages.

So I walk into the hotel. I get past of 4 guards. It seems to me that they are mistaking me for a German lieutenant. I enter a room. There are a general, a captain and a colonel inside. There is also another guy. I know that he is, like me, an agent. But he seems really frightened and uneasy. The colonel talks to me in german

- Hallo Kamarad! Was gibt es Neues von der Front? (Hello comrade, what's new on the front?
- Das übliche (the same as always), I answer.

The three Germans open a door. There is a gigantic bathroom, which seems to be twice as large as the first floor. They tell me that they are dressing up, so that we can go to the opera.

They walk inside. I take a look at the other agent who seems relieved.

- It was getting unbearable inside here, he whispered to me. How could the general think that it is a good idea to infiltrate the squadron 2 weeks before. I don't speak any German at all! How was I going to survive to just say "Ja" and "Nein" all the time??

I ignore him and lock the door of the bathroom. The German soldiers didn't seem to notice. In the meantime, I hear how the girls and the general knock out the guards outsides.

The bathroom door opens again, they come out. One of the Germans tell me a joke, but I don't get it. I'm forcing a laugh.

The general comes in with two of the prettiest girls (which definitely where 20).

- Did you miss me? He says to the colonel in English. He seems not surprised at all.

- We have 4 guards out there, the colonel answers in English. What are going to do about that?
- We knocked them already out, what are you going to do about THAT?

The general makes me sign I should leave the room, what I do. I'm standing for a moment in the floor, but I realize that I'm going to miss the epic showdown. So enter again.
The tallest girl is pointing a gun in some sexy pose. all the Germans are shot.

- And now to the opera!, the general says.