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    Body, sigil, beauty pageant

    by , 03-23-2019 at 07:27 PM (153 Views)
    4 dreams I think very brief Ld. Have trouble recalling one dream atm

    1. Ld, just having awareness of the body but i knew I was dreaming, felt the changes of the body in regards to the past 3 days. Felt receiving some force. Kind of a light in the body that caused an orgasm.

    Woke up stayed in bed a while trying to fall back asleep, decided to go pee, made notes on DJ, maybe shouldn't have since DJing wakes me usually.

    Had trouble sleeping for a while. I tn may have had a Ld if I didn't record DJ, being at the prefect lding state. Meditated a bit by bedside to help sleep. Did a few mantra.

    2.dream about bunch of people receiving a kind of personal sigil that gave them powers, I think i received like 7. It's like kind of a spiritual training school or something but I'm not certain. One lady tried to give me her sigil cloth but I didn't want it. She became furious and tried to force it on me. Caused a scene and others stopped her. Maybe I should have received it or atleast hear her out.

    3. Still trying to recall. At same scene as dream 2 i think.

    4. The scene was like a square spiraling halls that went inwards clockwise the middle being the stage.

    Dreaming about being in a beauty pageant. Scene similar to d2 but slightly different. Wearing a polkadot bra that's too large outside of the white dress for some reason. Other contestants are trying to sabotage me. So all the contestants had to the cafeteria and get food there(got a pig head with noodles as a prank) . People are making bets as to who's gonna win, much like sports betting on a digital online platform. I felt overwhelmed and lacked confidence in myself. Someone made fun of my attire. So each person took a turn on the stage and performed their talent. I just sang on my turn. Forgot if I won but I did good if I recall.

    Part 2. So the time reverses and replays. I become a liquid based monster with similar appearance as previous that clings by the ceiling as I progress the scene. Getting closer to the stage. Forget what I did x)

    So yeah, actually might be 5 dreams haha. Will add more notes if i recall.

    I felt a little desponent that I didn't have a long Ld. Didn't feel like writing down DJ but wrote it anyways.

    Did shadow work yesterday that went pretty well on clearing doubts regarding a new mild mantra. This one may be a keeper. It's silly but really excites me. I visualized receiving the power for constant Ld, perhaps my subconscious tried to give it in d2... I'll try it again tonight and definitely receive it this time

    "super omnilucid-dreamerrrr"

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    1. ZenLD's Avatar
      Had a little trouble sleeping so I played a game and I wanted do some stuff to ingrain LD into my head.

      The first light in the body was probably from the mantra and the visualizations I used during my practice. I visualized and objectified "lucidity" as kind of a light. Imagined receiving it kind of. I believe in ya, my subconscious, higher self or whatever. Make me LUCID!

      In the second dream I had some awareness but it waned by the subsequent dreams. It was a pretty unfamiliar place so probably not trauma related. Maybe I'm suppose to learn something, or am learning something. Is the message to open my heart? I judged her... without even knowing her. There was a trace of a memory that replayed in me before I rejected her gift. I need to let go of the memory, so I can let in the good stuff.

      In the fourth dream, the big bra probably represents trying to put something over my real self. Am I trying to cover up who I really am with kind of a bra armor sort of. Covering up the "white" dress. Kind of like the "white" mansion last night... Probably represents the inner goodness in me or everyone else. With a pure white childlike kind of innocence. Maybe it means like u gotta have fun like a little kid to really be the best version of yourself or learn new stuff like lucid dreaming. Instead of trying to fill some clothes (persona) that you're not. Since it was just the bra maybe it's telling me I'm close to letting go of last bit of resistance regarding self improvement or lucid dreaming or something.

      Having ppl sabotage me is probably traces of trauma. Memories of people trying to sabotage me because I was better at other in certain things. In school , at work (probably it's that job where you had to look nice maybe it's where this all came from lol)... Sad memories. I probably need to fully accept the full pain that I repressed? And it replaying... it's like a second chance to remind me to let go of it. Putting on some silly armor to hide the true self. So me becoming a monster is probably from shutting off my emotions and becoming monster-like emotionally. Probably another imagery representing repressed true self. Liquid is flexible, so a kind of emotionally shut-off monster that could fluidly fit into any environment...

      In the end though it's not really anyones fault. Had trouble at home back then, just was shut myself off... was it from moving every year or so during childhood? That made me see relationships as temporary so I'd try to protect myself by not getting attached to anyone... Or maybe it was just my abusive father... But even then that may come from work or his father and his forefather... In the end however, this energy needs to be quelled... by me. Sins of my forefathers, I cleanse thee.

      I could just... see the evil in people at that time. Past is past though and let bygones be bygones. And it takes 2 to tango (or conflict) and these days most people have broken homes so it's not like my experience is anything special.

      Sometimes you gotta... take it all in and let it all out I guess. Especially if I'm trying to get better at Lucid Dreaming, recognizing these inner things probably will help. Like when I've labelled thoughts during meditation and they'd quiet down, my labelling of these dream events may calm down negative stuff. Didn't mean to rant so long but hehe thanks for letting me address it. Even though I didn't think I had these repressed stuff if it helps me LD, I'll take it.

      I guess the message from these dreams to me is
      1. your mantra is working
      2. open your heart so you can get its full effects. (Stop judging too much?/trust)
      3. these things are also holding you back (This past event's causing your judgement/making you having trouble trusting)

      THanks DJ, thanks dreamviews, thanks... everything. I feel like I'm getting closer to myself. Thanks my dreams for helping me get LUCID regarding these inner issues... This is lucidity.

      I love Lucid dreaming
      Updated 03-24-2019 at 08:39 AM by ZenLD