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    Counting the blessings, again

    by , 09-28-2019 at 04:34 AM (94 Views)
    Well. I didn't get lucid. Well maybe I was sorta, kinda close in a few dreams but not really. I saved some DJ notes on a google docs app but it didn't even save anything! I'll just write down what I remember. The other thing was that I had a kind of a dream that reminded me of bad memories, it kind of set me on a train of more related bad memories that sort of depressed me for a while. But there is a silver lining to all this I truly believe.


    Dream

    I dreamt that I went to my friend, Jack's house. We were just playing some games I think. I showed him my new VR thingy and he was pretty interested and played on it. His friends showed up and talked about stuff. I felt like being left out though during all this. We head out and Jack's driving the car, but I think the car was stolen and he was pretty much GTA-ing. We head back to the house to do something. I think we came back to eat some food. His mom had just done the groceries but I had to leave. So she gave me some of her grocery food to eat while heading home or something.


    Supermarket

    I went to a nearby supermarket a bit later, same location but perhaps awakened before coming here. I was just hopping around everywhere and having fun. Hopping atop of shelves and any high and hoppable spots I could find. They called me "the natural" for some reason. I felt great really. Until a vietnamese man grabbed some object and hit me really hard. He said "give us back our country." I felt blood dripping down my nose and I was pretty mad. I grabbed some long hard object and walked towards him. He still held the weapon in his hand and I told him that I'm not even from the same country that he thinks I'm from. This made him quiver a little. Then I immediately grabbed this short tan man by the collar.

    I dragged him through the aisles towards the front of the store. I wasn't going to beat him but was going to call the cops and let them deal with him.

    Wake

    This raised some bad memories.


    Notes:

    Most dreams that I didn't note were VR related. Perhaps I'm playing VR too much before sleep, or that being on VR is kind of similar state to dream. I'll take advantage of it by being more aware if it's a dream while using VR.

    I felt really really down (desperate, despondent, depressed, hopeless... etc). I haven't felt this bad in so long. But there was a silver lining to this though. I saw that this one memory led to another memory, to another, to another. There were about 5 memories that clumped together into a big ball of negativity. I was aware of that process. I think that's a good thing. As being aware of something is the first step of improvement, as well as being aware of this "hopeless" thoughts/daydream is a part of being lucid - it's just like being aware in a dream. And I did manage to release these feelings after meditation and stuff.

    It was bad but it's good. It's good cuz I'm getting better. And it's good, because you gotta tell your subconscious that remembering dream's good, even when it seems bad - that helps recall I think.

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    Updated 09-28-2019 at 04:39 AM by 96162

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