ZenLD

Summary:

During Bed
Meditation
Lucid moment


I'm gonna type out what I remember while I can since there was a blackout not that long ago. Who knows if there'll be another blackout from the storm or not? So I'll just type out my thoughts and experiences while I can.

Last night I didn't really sleep. Well I laid there on the bed, felt my body sleep and also noticed that I dozed momentarily once or twice. Perhaps less than a minute even. I actually tried a bit of wild phase right after just to see if it works. It didn't since I was pretty awake but I'll give myself credit for trying right away, because if it was a slightly deeper sleep, it would have definitely worked for sure. I didn't really try to lucid dream though, just you know, relaxed and stuff.

I meditated before bed, maybe a little too well and that might have been the cause of non-sleep. But I did feel rested though. It's just that I was conscious in almost its entirety and noticed the two times I lost consciousness briefly. So it wasn't all that bad really. Actually it was great. Since I had a goal before of meditating the whole night instead of sleeping or trying to do something like that but I never really got around to it. And sitting up the entire time probably would have been uncomfortable. So this was probably a blessing in disguise.

So I didn't even really dream there I laid down about 3-4 hours. There wasn't any dreams, just this calm awareness. It was like a residue of what I did for meditation.

The meditation was just noticing myself being aware of stuff. And if I noticed I got distracted, I didn't get mad or upset. I just told myself, you can do this, you can do that, you can feel anything you want, but just notice yourself feeling those things. And I just felt any focus, attachments, feelings, tensions, but it eventually led back to an energy welling from me. It's like a spiral of vibrating energy and if it's moving about like a storm, then my emotions also feels like a storm. Before I tried to change it, it worked sometimes, but this time I just try to notice it... Just noticing the stuff going on in me. Sort of like sivason's dream yoga guide on the sound, but instead I just focus on that.

So I decided to get up, took 2 short naps later on when I did feel tired. Haven't taken naps in a while but I did.

Oh yeah I also meditated in between. I just meditated until I released this torrent like feeling from my body. Sometimes it took longer, sometimes shorter but I just did it until I was satisfied. Then some very short mantras if I felt like it.

First nap had no dreams, but it felt like hours, when it was only about 20 minutes.

Second one I had a dream, I became aware at the very end. But I couldn't maintain myself in the dream as it collapsed upon my lucidity. I tried though. I tried to grab things like the carpet or the fuzziness before me, but I couldn't grasp onto anythign really. And it slowly became more fuzzy like the TV when it was no signal. I could have retrospectively, tried to DEILD or phase, but I suppose I was distracted by the emotion of failing to pull myself back into the dream. My mistake there.

Dream:

I was inside a house, it had sort of like a daycare thing going on. I was on the first floor and I remember seeing Jack there and his mom was to his right. They were by the stairs so that's how I noticed that it was the first floor. We were talking bout something related to money or something similar. I do recall I was playing wit hthe little kids earlier but right now some of them just decided to jump on me on my back. They all jumped on me and I fell on the floor with like an army of them covering me and it was so heavy I couldn't breathe. I felt like a feeling there. It was like a feeling of frustration, a thought process like, "why is this happening to me?" And my body reacted naturally, or my mind perhaps, just went to that noticing the awareness thing I was talking about earlier. And I was present and questioned this circumstance. And I thought "Oh it's a dream" and I felt the dream beginning to get destabilized. Maybe it's because of the agitation from being jumped by kids, maybe it's because the meditation process in the daytime isn't complete. Maybe I'm getting emotional and switching from unaware to this noticing mode too quickly and that could be a reason why it woke me. Or maybe it was just that I was near waking that I got lucid. But I tried to grab onto something just to touch. There was a TV in front of me maybe about 50 inches. It was placed pretty low, just slightly above the ground, as if it was placed conveniently for the kids. But things started to get fuzzy and I began to lose the sense of touch and vision and I couldn't grab on anything. So maybe I should have tried to rub my own hands here. Or immediately tried to DEILD here.

The house looked sort of like their place btw, but it wasn't the same, and I knew that it was in a different city. The house was newer.

I'll expand more if I remember anymore.

Oh yeah, when I didn't get any dreams initially, I thought that I'd just maybe write down some dreams from last couple of days. Since I didn't expand on those dreams if I didn't have enough dreams maybe I should type them out since I said I'd DJ everyday.


just excessively long trailing thought:
The reason, now that I think about it, as to why I dreamt about being jumped by kids is likely from a thought I had during the day or the day before. I noticed that I had a passing thought and it wasn't a pleasant thought but I think I did the light version of my all day meditation and just stuck with the feeling. It was about adults when I was young child and how I was treated unfairly and just calming the feeling that feeling and noticing it. I felt that those adults back then, incompetent teachers that didn't give a rat's ass about their students, they were actually still children. They were all children, they just didn't fully grow up and wanted a high paying job that was easy to get, with great benefits and guaranteed high wage in this country I'm in. They didn't think about actually teaching the future generation of kids, and perhaps inspiring them to greatness. But then who doesn't look for an easy way out? No they were just nearsighted, but then again how can I blame them? And that kind of way of looking at them just released some of these negative feelings, memories I guess. It was them, the kids, jumping on me figuratively, but literally in my dreams.

How can one even know when they grow up? How can they have a chance to grow up? Society's weird, it's unnatural and critical thinking appears to be discouraged in assignments. It's like they are implying... "you memorize these things right here, we know everything and you don't." But in actuality we really don't know much about anything. Just a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe.

Maybe the problem with the school system is that it lacks the chance to provide people to actually grow up? Maybe society as a whole. Maybe it's because humans used to live in small tribes and now we're all connected in this social media age. It doesn't have that sense of mystery anymore. A chance to explore and discover things for yourself. Instead you're just forced to learn things their way.

But some folks really do thrive well in how things are...

So that got me thinking, perhaps it's something you are suppose to instill in children at a very young age to make this story of life entertaining for kids really. That something is the mystery, the sense of wonder. Maybe at a very young age 2-5, by then you're suppose to expose them to the most advanced scientific concepts to them. To synthetically install the "unknown" they could discover and explore later into their lives. In contrast to the expected sameness of what is expected from an citizen of society. Things like quantum physics, astrophysics, sort of thing and even environmental sciences. We don't make them solve it right away, as children. But just to implant these ideas into them. A mystery, a puzzle for them to solve in their lifetime. Can you imagine if every child was exposed to those ideas? They can conceptually understand these difficult ideas at a young age, and at their later years, they could learn the foundations, the calculations, all the factual stuff they could learn later in their lives. As opposed to what we're doing right now. Job to make a living, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher... And they do exactly that. And they get that, but it's for the love of money.

And the world is changing is it not? These jobs, like a doctor, especially a surgeon, would soon be replaced with AI, that wouldn't make the human error of cutting the artery by mistake during an operation. Or problems of misdiagnosis. At first, the manual jobs, then the high paying jobs. And then what is left? If all of the jobs are gone, then what would become of their purpose?

Is that scary? Or is it sort of beautiful, wonderful if we could direct humanity in the right direction? Instead of following greed, like holding technological and medical advancement at hostage by buying up patents so you can stay at the top of the food chain. But don't you die one day? Maybe even because you halted progress, maybe medical, that very progress might have saved your life.

Couldn't it be so much more wonderful though? All the menial jobs are taken care of by AIs. And if we all learned to work together, and strive to extend our scientific and spiritual knowledge. Can you imagine a future we have created, and now live and thrive here on paradise earth?