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    Thread: :D Omegle!!! :D

    1. #1
      Xox
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      :D Omegle!!! :D

      www.omegle.com

      Post funny omegle's here.

      Stranger: from?
      You: It's a mellow night
      You: And raining rather nastily
      Stranger: nice i love the rain
      Stranger: where are you from?
      You: I don't know, do any of us know where we are from, really?
      You: We only setup arbitrary borders to make things simple and neat
      Stranger: uh...
      You: But chaos will reign, either way
      You: On my side, and your side.
      Stranger: okay wanna tell me where youre from now
      You: What the fuck does it matter
      Stranger: damn
      Stranger: later
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.


      Stranger: would you like to go onwebcam with me, im 17 M UK and turned on
      You: Depends, do you enjoy blueberry muffins?
      Stranger: yep
      You: Do you drink anything with them?
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.


      Stranger: Hello, this is Arthur Kirkland. I'm looking for some bloody git named Alfred F Jones, have you seen him?
      You: No
      You: LULZ
      Stranger: ?
      You: Actually..
      You: That's me
      You: What do you want?
      Stranger: Is it now?
      Stranger: I need to have a word with you.
      You: Okay, sir.
      Stranger: No more fucking revolutions.
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    2. #2
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Hilarious Zocks! xD I'll post mine in a bit. Need to get some good material out of these trolls first.
      Things are not as they seem

    3. #3
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      Quote Originally Posted by Xox View Post
      www.omegle.com

      Post funny omegle's here.

      Stranger: from?
      You: It's a mellow night
      You: And raining rather nastily
      Stranger: nice i love the rain
      Stranger: where are you from?
      You: I don't know, do any of us know where we are from, really?
      You: We only setup arbitrary borders to make things simple and neat
      Stranger: uh...
      You: But chaos will reign, either way
      You: On my side, and your side.
      Stranger: okay wanna tell me where youre from now
      You: What the fuck does it matter
      Stranger: damn
      Stranger: later
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.


      Stranger: would you like to go onwebcam with me, im 17 M UK and turned on
      You: Depends, do you enjoy blueberry muffins?
      Stranger: yep
      You: Do you drink anything with them?
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.


      Stranger: Hello, this is Arthur Kirkland. I'm looking for some bloody git named Alfred F Jones, have you seen him?
      You: No
      You: LULZ
      Stranger: ?
      You: Actually..
      You: That's me
      You: What do you want?
      Stranger: Is it now?
      Stranger: I need to have a word with you.
      You: Okay, sir.
      Stranger: No more fucking revolutions.
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.


      You just come off as dumb

    4. #4
      Xox
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      Quote Originally Posted by Carôusoul View Post
      You just come off as dumb
      Your opinion is greatly appreciated. 8D

    5. #5
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      Quote Originally Posted by Xox View Post
      Your opinion is greatly appreciated. 8D


      ho ho ho

    6. #6
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Aww Carou, you know you like Omegle!
      Things are not as they seem

    7. #7
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      Quote Originally Posted by Jeff777 View Post
      Aww Carou, you know you like Omegle!
      yeah i love omegle

      i just don't like xox

    8. #8
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      I'll post some of the ones I saved from DV chat a few days ago (don't know whose they are though)

      ---

      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      Stranger: HI
      You: hi
      Stranger: tengo un bufalo en mis pantalones
      You: I think I almost understand that and it makes me want to leave.
      You have disconnected.

      ---

      Stranger: Do you have MSN address ?
      You: I do.
      You: [email protected]
      Stranger: I added you lick
      Stranger: Can be video?

      ---

      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: ~
      Stranger: hi
      You: Hello.
      Stranger: asl?
      You: I also have a penis
      You: Just like you.
      You: How does that make you feel?
      Stranger: pls go home and eat your penis
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ---

      You: ?
      Stranger: what
      Stranger: ?
      You: i dont understand the problem

      ---

      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: Hi.
      Stranger: hi
      Stranger: asl?
      You: It stands for Animal Sex Land
      Stranger: no age sex location
      You: I have none of those, you're right.
      You: But I do know how to get you to animal sex land.
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ---

      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: Hi.
      Stranger: 你好~你是什麽國家?^^
      You: Yes, I do want some vagina.
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ---

      Stranger: 12 f france
      Stranger: are you horny?
      You: ya
      Stranger: start
      Stranger: your msn
      You: wat do u mean start
      Stranger: a sex
      Stranger: chatting
      Stranger: ya
      Stranger: start
      Stranger: i'm very horny
      Stranger: start please

      ---

      Stranger: Hello
      You: the spiders
      You: I can feel them
      Stranger: the game
      You: crawling
      Stranger: can you feel the game
      You: i know they will come back soon
      You: please help me
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ---

      You: you just lost the game
      Stranger: what the last guy told me i won

      ---

      Stranger: oi
      You: Hallo
      Stranger: how are you?
      You: dying
      Stranger: =(
      Stranger: m or f?

    9. #9
      Member Tyler's Avatar
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      This was a long one.

      You: OMG
      You: IT HURTS
      You: AAACCCHHH
      You: How are you?
      Stranger: what hutrs
      You: My penis
      Stranger: uhh sometimes mine hutrs too
      You: i got a little carried away
      You: are you still there?
      You: LORD HAVE I BEEN ABANDONED AGAIN????
      Stranger: im here
      You:
      Stranger: youre looking for girl?
      Stranger: did u find
      Stranger: ?
      You: yeah, i been looking for one ever since the sex change
      You: the penis is great, i just overdo it
      You: you seem preoccupied.
      Stranger: no im here
      Stranger: fine
      Stranger: youre from
      You: um was that a question?
      You: For christ's sake your grammar is horrible
      Stranger: sorry
      Stranger: ok
      You: how old are you? 7?
      Stranger: where are you from?
      You: why do you care? you some sort of stalker?
      You: Hmm....it's raining.
      Stranger: i am just tryin to talk
      Stranger: dont you wanna talk
      Stranger: ?
      You: Yes, but that doesn't mean start pouring out personal details
      You: I don't know you.
      You: I can't trust you.
      You: For all I know you're a cereal killer.
      Stranger: youre right but i didnt want your email or sth
      You: And that's horrible, because I love cereal.
      Stranger: youre funny actually
      You: Funny?
      You: Like "haha" funny?
      Stranger: yeah but little bit weird
      You: hahahahaha
      You: You haven't seen weird.
      You: I can show you weird.
      You: Got a webcam?
      Stranger: no
      You: Wanna view mine?
      Stranger: could be
      Stranger: naked?
      You: Maybe....
      -nudge nudge-
      Stranger: im not gay
      Stranger: put it away
      You: I'm not gay either.
      You: I wanted to show you this weird birthmark on my chest.
      Stranger: so why would i wanna see naked man's photo
      You: You pervert.
      Stranger: birthmarks are not wierd you jerk
      You: Mine is
      You: it's shaped like barney's head almost
      You: you know, the purple dinosaur from that kid's show?
      Stranger: hm mm
      You: Wanna see it?
      Stranger: ok
      You: Bah nevermind, I don't know where my cam is
      Stranger: ha ha
      Stranger: anyway
      Stranger: bbye
      You: DONT LEAVE ME
      You: I NEED YOU
      You: PLEEEEAAASSSEEE
      Stranger: u need me?
      You: YEES
      You: BECAUSE MY PENIS HUUUUUUUURTS
      You: SOOO BAD
      Stranger: how can i help u?
      You: You know, I'm not sure yet.
      You: Stick around and I'm sure I can think of something.
      Stranger: put some ice on it
      You: Ice?
      You: will that stop the bleeding?
      Stranger: is that bleeding?!
      You: Yeah, just a lil
      Stranger: where
      You: Umm...my penis
      Stranger: the hole? or the other part?
      You: the hole
      You: Am I gonna die?
      Stranger: u need to cut it
      Stranger: immedietly
      You: Cut my penis?
      Stranger: cut it now
      You: Scizzors or a knife?
      Stranger: knife
      You: ok i got a pocket knife in my pocket
      Stranger: ok
      Stranger: do it
      Stranger: do it now!
      You: should i take the balls too?
      Stranger: no
      Stranger: you can play them after
      You: Your not serious.
      You: You're really gonna trick me into cutting my penis.
      You: You sick fuck
      You: you think this is funny?
      You: What am I gonna tell my parents when they walk in and their 12 year old son is in the floor screaming with his penis on the floor?
      Stranger: thats their problem
      You: No it's MY problem
      You: I need that you know.
      You: So....where do you live?
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.
      This shit never happens to me

    10. #10
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Connecting to server...
      Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: You have 20 seconds to impress me or I'll disconnect your sorry ass.
      You: 19
      Stranger: hello
      You: 18
      You: 17
      You: 16
      You: 15
      You: 14
      You: 13
      You: 12
      Stranger: i cant stop farting!
      You: 11
      You: 10
      You: 9
      You: 8
      You: 7
      You: 6
      You: 5
      You: 4
      You: 3
      Stranger: OH MY GOD
      You: 2
      You: 1
      You: 0
      Things are not as they seem

    11. #11
      Member Tyler's Avatar
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      You: hello.
      Stranger: Hi, who are you?
      You: Who are you?
      Stranger: Well, I asked first, but I guess I'll answer first. Marissa. Now, you have to answer. lol jk
      You: lol
      You: I am Jesus
      Stranger: And I'm Angelina Jolie.
      You: I am Jesus Fucking Christ in the Fucking Flesh.
      Stranger: Wow, this was interesting, I got2go.
      You: Jesus commands that you stay.
      Stranger: haha aren't you funny, whatever drugs you're on, get OFF.
      You: Jesus is horny.
      You: Jesus likes to cyber.
      You: You?
      You: Cyber with Jesus?
      Stranger: Please, don't pull this with me, I don't know how dumb you think I am to believe you, but you're pretty dumb to think I would.
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.
      This shit never happens to me

    12. #12
      Member Souperman22's Avatar
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      Stranger: dae
      You: Wat
      Stranger: wats
      You: wat
      Stranger: wats
      You: ASL
      Stranger: asl's
      You: are u retard
      Stranger: are u retard's
      You: I give up
      Stranger: i guve up's

      -----------------------------------

      Stranger: Hi
      Stranger: Are you that person I was talking to earlier about photography, psychology and indie music?
      You: Oh, it's you!
      Stranger: OMG
      Stranger: IS IT REALLY?!
      Stranger: I FOUND YOU?1
      Stranger: FJSAFKSAJFAS.
      Stranger: XD
      You: YES REALLY
      Stranger: OMG
      Stranger: I ACCIDENTALLY
      You: FJAJSJSJKAJ
      Stranger: DISCONNECTEd
      Stranger: DSAKFHAFASOMG
      Stranger: HI.
      You: It's okay. It's okay.
      You: Hi. Again.
      You: =P
      Stranger: Omg.
      Stranger: Holy crap.
      Stranger: It'S NOT YOU.
      Stranger: IS IT?!
      You: Not really.
      Stranger: XD
      You: Lol
      Stranger: ...
      Stranger: -_-
      Stranger: ...
      Stranger: o_O
      Stranger: Is it?
      Stranger: ...
      You: no
      Stranger: -.-
      You: rofl
      You: soi soi soi
      Stranger: I hate you.
      Stranger:
      You: <|3
      Stranger: Dx
      Stranger: I WAS TALKING TO A VERY NEAT PERSON
      Stranger: UNTIL I ACCIDENTALLY DISCONNECTED ON
      Stranger: AND I WANT TO FIND THEM
      Stranger:
      You: Stalker
      Stranger: I know.
      Stranger: XD
      You: I will help you. I am connect with government of China. They has an sattelite monitor system.
      Stranger: o_o
      Stranger: Uhm
      Stranger: I'm scared.
      Stranger: BYE.

      ----------------------------

      Stranger: remo.. skye.. nick?!?
      You: Hello, I'm Bryana, your virtual guide to FusionCash!
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ------------------------------
      Quote Originally Posted by Jeff777 View Post
      unfasten your pants and go crazy
      Greater than 99.9% of the people in the world fail to see that PhilosopherStoned is ideally suited to be the totalitarian dictator of the world in perpetuity. If you are one of the ones that do, copy and paste this into your signature.

    13. #13
      Member CoLd BlooDed's Avatar
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      Stranger: hi
      You: What's, er, uh, hm, crackin'
      You: You don't smoke meth, by any chance, do you?
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.


    14. #14
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      Quote Originally Posted by pojmaster17q View Post

      Stranger: oi
      You: Hallo
      Stranger: how are you?
      You: dying
      Stranger: =(
      Stranger: m or f?
      Nothing beats this. LMAO

    15. #15
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Connecting to server...
      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: I am God.
      You: You may ask me three questions.
      Stranger: 1. dear god, are you male or female?
      You: I am neither, I am spirit animating physical matter.
      You: Your second question.
      Stranger: 2. dear god, i think you're an egotistical twat. do you agree?
      You: I agree that you agree that I am an egotistical twat.
      You: Your third question.
      Stranger: i don't have a third
      Stranger: self destruct!
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.
      Things are not as they seem

    16. #16
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Connecting to server...
      Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: Hi! My names Billy! I'm a 10 year old boy that gives blowjobs! Where u from!?
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.
      Things are not as they seem

    17. #17
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      I wonder if 2 dv members will ever meet while trolling Omegle.

    18. #18
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Connecting to server...
      Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

      You: You're going to hell.
      Stranger: hi
      Stranger: why
      You: Because I said so.
      You: I asked god and he said yes.
      Stranger: who are you
      You: The guy who can easily persuade god, that's who.
      You: I just thought I'd let you know.
      Stranger: really
      Stranger: again ask please
      Stranger: i dont want to go to hell
      You: 'fraid not. This is what I want.
      You: I'm sorry.
      Stranger: fuck you man

      Your conversational partner has disconnected.
      Things are not as they seem

    19. #19
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Jeff777 busts a pedophile on Omegle.

      Connecting to server...
      Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
      You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

      Stranger: age ?
      Stranger: cam ??
      You: I'm 16 female
      Stranger: ass ?
      You: and yes I have cam
      You: I jsut got out of shower
      Stranger: can i see your ass
      You: asl first?
      Stranger: 20 m italy
      You: NOTICE TO CHATTER: In accordance with the Terms of Service you have accepted to use this chat client, this conversation has been monitored and recorded by the Child Internet Service Protection Agency, as licensed by the Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). You are receiving this notice due to a potential violation of US law. Your IP address has been recorded and sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who will review the chat log and request all available contact information from your Internet Service Provider, and will pursue criminal investigation if deemed necessary. If you believe this chat session was logged in error, please contact your local FBI office within 24 hours and quote the reference number #2334531-0343.
      Stranger: you like italian guy ?
      Stranger: ohhh
      Stranger: i dont want really see iit!!
      Stranger: sorry
      You: I work for a child protective services firm based out of california USA. Our job is to catch online sexual predators.
      You: You've been caught in the act of soliciting pornographic material from a minor.
      Stranger: yes but i am not sexual predator!!
      You: The F B I will be alerted to your activity as well as this chat log in addition to your internet service provider.

      Your conversational partner has disconnected.
      Things are not as they seem

    20. #20
      Gentlemen. Ladies. slayer's Avatar
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      ou're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
      You: I'm dying...
      Stranger: Oh dear...
      Stranger: What can I do?
      You: I have never thought of a last wish...
      Stranger: Your last wish is unlimited wishes.
      You: Sweet
      Stranger: Or to ride a pegacorn.
      You: I want an Xbox!
      Stranger: YOU FOOL
      Stranger: that's outdated.
      You: D:
      You: What about a nintendo?
      You: Can I have that?
      Stranger: Yeah nintendo is better.
      You: Sweet!
      Stranger: But you're still dying.
      You: Oh right...
      Stranger: So... sorry kid.
      You: Well
      You: In my will
      You: I will let you have my Nintendo, Stranger.
      Stranger: :')
      Stranger: You're a hero.
      You: But you must do one thing for me before I die...
      Stranger: What is it?
      You: Find one girl that is willing to put on cat ears and take a picture of her and give it to me...so I can look at it as I die.
      Stranger: ok hang on
      You: Quickly...
      Stranger: hang on
      Stranger: http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/457...ayrideears.png
      You: Yes I love this
      You: I shall die happy now
      Stranger: I drew it for you.
      Stranger: It's meeeee.
      You: It's hot!
      You: Makes me wish I wasn't dieing
      Stranger: It's a shame, really.
      Stranger: But you know what's the real shame?
      You: What?
      Stranger: I've only but a pony, no unicorn.
      You: D:
      Stranger: I. KNOOOOOW.
      Stranger: awful.
      You: WHY!?
      You: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?!
      Stranger: They're so expensive
      Stranger: And I'm just a small town girl
      Stranger: lost in this big world.
      You: This is going to turn into a musical...I just know it...
      Stranger: OHHHHHHH
      Stranger: UNICORNS
      Stranger: I WANT YOUR HORNS
      Stranger: NOT FOR PORNS
      Stranger: but to be my frieeeeend
      You: Nice
      You: 10/10 for you
      Stranger: thank you
      Stranger: I went to college for that
      Stranger: I majored in short unicorn songs
      You: I think I'll major in that too
      You: And change my name to Charlie
      You: Charlie the Unicorn
      Stranger: And I'll be the blue one
      You: No wait
      You: I want to be the leopluradon
      You: rawwrarafhfawrawr
      Stranger:
      Stranger: That's scary
      Stranger: you're scaring me
      You: D;
      You: Don't be scared D:
      You: I'm only dying
      You: Come to think of it, this is a long prolonged death...
      Stranger: I guess you should get on with it, then.
      You: I should
      You: But nothing is happening
      Stranger: Oh Stranger.. I'll miss you.
      Stranger: sniff..
      You: I'll miss you too Stranger
      You: *lies down and closes eyes*
      Stranger: :<
      Stranger: .....
      Stranger: teehee
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    21. #21
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      I cried at the end.

    22. #22
      Gentlemen. Ladies. slayer's Avatar
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      He laughed at me >:{

    23. #23
      q t pi
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      Yeah wtf is going on with the random "stranger, you" in chat?
      if you can read this then you are about to be punched

    24. #24
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      Hazel's Avatar
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      Jeff777 busts a pedophile on Omegle.
      Lol, priceless!
      http://www.dreamviews.com/community/signaturepics/sigpic10998_6.gif
      Raised by NeAvO
      Hazel's Boiler Room
      Do you know the terror of he who falls asleep? To the very toes he is terrified, Because the ground gives the way under him, And the dream begins... - Friedrich Nietzsche

    25. #25
      BICYCLE RIGHTS Catbus's Avatar
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      Stranger: Hi
      You: Hello.
      You: You're the first person in a while to capitalize the first letter of a phrase.
      You: I congratulate you for that.
      Stranger: thanks
      You: And then you don't capitalize the 't' in 'thanks.'
      You: You make me sick.
      You have disconnected.

      ---------------------------

      You: Hey.
      Stranger: hi
      Stranger: asl plz
      You: Why?
      You: I could say 13-f-CA, but you and I both know I'm not a thirteen year old girl.
      You: But I'll humor you.
      You: 13-f-CA
      You: You?
      Stranger: go to hell then what r u doing here
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ---------------------------

      This one was actually kind of interesting.

      Stranger: http://omegle.com/
      You: I'll have to go there some time.
      Stranger: spring brother is a true man
      You: Who is this 'spring brother?'
      Stranger: where are you from
      You: The east coast.
      Stranger: i'm chinese
      You: Interesting.
      You: So do you live in China?
      Stranger: spring brother is a famous man in our country
      Stranger: ye
      You: Where about?
      Stranger: she is a woman
      Stranger: but looks like a guy
      You: Why is she not 'spring sister' then?
      Stranger: just looks like guy
      Stranger: almost everyone knows her
      You: What does she do to gain such recognition?
      Stranger: take part in the competition
      Stranger: super woman
      You: What kind of competition?
      Stranger: her name is li yu chun
      You: One of strength?
      Stranger: singing
      You: Agility?
      You: Ah.
      Stranger: do you konw her?
      You: No, but I would like to someday.
      You: Thank you kind stranger.
      Stranger: you too
      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

      ---------------------------

      You: Hello.
      Stranger: wana watch me jerk off
      You: I wouldn't mind it.
      Stranger: msn?
      You: I don't have msn
      You: Can you upload it to a porn site, maybe?
      Stranger: then how will u watch?
      You: We could meet somewhere, though that doesn't entirely sound safe.
      Stranger: hold on
      You: I will, as will you in a few minutes (Zing!).
      Stranger: (He actually posted a link to him/some guy masturbating, kind of creepy in retrospect).
      You: Awesome.
      You: Thank you.
      You have disconnected.


      White girl, you can ask her what the dick be like
      And monster madness doing drive-bys on a fuckin fixie bike
      Fuck it moron, snortin oxycontin, wearin cotton,
      Oxymoron like buff faggots playin sissy dykes

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