The dreams of eucalyptblaze

[eucalyptblaze]

Welcome to the my online dream journal. Feel free to read it as you please. I'm using the dream journal software with this. In addition to posting my latest dreams, I will also add some older dreams which I will also add to my journal from my older hand written volumes, so they will not necessary all be in a chronological order. I will not bother to publish dreams which I deem to be suffiently lacking in anything interesting.

[eucalyptblaze]

15.02.2010 Leyland's $2 Benefit Plan (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Alex Leyland, in an attempt to become more well regarded and a great benefactor to the school (some invented high school), spent a massive amount of money in buying hundreds of blue cushions and putting one on each seat that filled completely the circumference of the school hall (it was a round hall). On each cushion he put a $2 coin. He set it up one night, hoping that the next day, when all the students go to assembly in the morning, they would each find themselves each entitled to $2 from Alex Leyland. However, things turned out differently. The majority of the school student population were completely oblivious to the stunt, and did nothing to acquire their entitled $2 coin in their unawareness. The small amount of people who did notice the free $2 coins were quick to go around collecting as much as they could. I realised I had to get as many as I could gather in order to return them to Alex, in order to minimise his financial losses from this failed endeavor. I had to compete with a lad and also my dad in collecting the largest amount. I had completely filled my bag with $2 coins, so I started having to carry a multitude of them in my mouth, using the basin of my lower jaw for holding coins. There were also a multitude of "new edition" $2 coins which were shaped like blackberries but were made of translucent blue glass. At one time I thought I had stumbled onto unnoticed stash of coins until I realised that it was my father's stash which he guarded in a state of half-sleep, resting on a makeshift bed next to it, and he awoke to me in anger when I tried to grab them. By the end of it, I came outside to my friends with a huge bag and my mouth filled with $2 coins. I spat out what was in my mouth into a bag, and the coins had left a truly horrible taste in my mouth - it felt like I had just licked all the city streets. On a price comparison chart that Kynan was holding, I realised that Alex had spent even more money than was initially apparent, as the chart indicated that these "new edition" $2 coins currently costed $2.45 to acquire.

[eucalyptblaze]

13.02.2010 Shark Lucidity (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was on an isolated island of tropical wilderness. I was enjoying the water by surfing, though I have never actually surfed before. I was told that there were no dangerous animals on the island, and in the water there were only sometimes some small harmless sharks. However, in the area that I was surfing in, I gradually saw that the number of sharks in the water were drastically increasing. A helicopter suddenly came to pick me up and take me to safety, as they were concerned with the rising number of sharks. They had already picked up most of the other tourists who were enjoying the water, and still needed to pick up my Dad, who was also surfing, but he refused to believe that there was a growing threat of sharks. Once on land we were wandering on some cliffs. We came to realise that on the island had evolved an extensive range of sharks that lived on land with legs, and even ones that could fly, with feathered wings, and we realised now truly the great level of danger we were in. I even identified that waiting on a path around the corner from our present location was an approximately five meter long walking land shark with distinct skin patterns and textures that it had evolved to camouflage of the commonly found lichen covered rock surfaces, and I pranked some other tourists into getting close to it without realising it was there, by telling them to walk around the corner. Eventually the ridiculousness of the dream dawned on me and I became lucid as we were running from some sharks. I started flying - but as I was starting to lift myself off the ground I saw something very curious; There was kind of angelic entity, clad in a majestic white robe and hat, with shining gold lining. This angel briefly appeared when I had realised I was lucid and was starting to fly from the area, and he was just standing still on some rocks, intensely staring at me - an expression which suggested he was also aware of my lucidity. I really regret ignoring his presence now. As I started reaching great heights above the island I was trying to think of what I should do and where I should go, but the dream suddenly collapsed from my prolonged hesitation.

[eucalyptblaze]

12.02.2010 Lucidity Induced Health Advice (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID In this dream I was reading stories about lucid dreaming (I never became lucid though). One particular one that I found especially frightening was a man who became lucid whilst he was dreaming that he was standing in his bathroom. Once in a comfortable lucid state, he decided to rest his head against the sink. Whilst he was doing so, a very loud voice coming from the space between the bathroom mirror above the sink and the wall behind it, urged threateningly: "EAT HEALTHY YOU LAZY BASTARD!" Later on there was some sort of competition between all the gods of the world. These gods were in fact of quite a miniature size, and the goal of the competition was to see who could be the last one still hanging on a set of ropes that were arranged suspended above a bed in a room. In the end it was a close rivalry between 'the rat god' and a warrior god. By the end, the warrior god had transformed into a 'renaissance god of the arts', and then once he had won, the turned into a zeus-like god of storms. I was disappointed because I wanted the rat god to have won because he would have devoted at least a portion of his power to helping out all the 'marginalised tribes' such as the 'israelites', 'philistines', etc (who each had sorrowful representatives loitering outside the room). The storm god, in claming his throne as the head god, spent all his time and power from then onwards in simply creating lightning over a small geographical area. However, the rat god was still capable of sending out his army of possessed rats out every night to help people out, which was the least he could do in his now servient position. Later on I was in some sort of camp full of people who were around my age (adolescents). I was showing off how I had a pair of flashing lights in my breast pocket. Eventually everyone started claming large indulgent servings of jelly from the food staff of the camp.

[eucalyptblaze]

30.12.2009 Mental Illness (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID The first part involved me getting into a heated argument with my mum - however it turns out I was in some sort of trance and I didn't truly mean the verbal abuse that I spouted out at her. The next morning I got into an argument with Rafael, who demanded that I "go for a run" before I eat lunch that he had prepared, which consisted of carrot salad - I simply wanted to eat lunch without doing exercise. Then I went to a park that looked like the one on the way to school, where I met Sebastian, who said he would see me later, as he rode off on his bike (I did see him later, in my next dream). The park then changed slightly, becoming dryer (all the grass looked dead now) and hotter, with less trees. I walked to a bbq area, where there was also a well. Around the well stoof my mum, Sheree, Bob and Shifra - I greeted each one of them and had a small chat with Shifra. Then I proceeded to enter a small building in the park, where I sat at a table with some people, notably my grandfather Hal. I talked to Hal for a while, and then he called in a friend of his, who looked exactly like my school mate Pat Orms, but wasn't the same person. Hal explained that this friend was greatly handicapped by a mental illness he suffered from. Eventualy Hal and the others had to leave to do something in a seperate room, so I was left alone with this mentally ill Pat Orms character. At first he seemed normal and the conversation seemed natural, and we got along fine. Then gradually I started becoming uncomfortable as I found him starting to invade my sense of personal space, as he talked he became more intense and put his face close up against mine as he spoke. Through what he was telling me, I eventually learned that he had recently stopped taking his medication taht he was meant to, which subdued the effects of his illness. Eventually, my discomfort began to climax into fear as he began to intensely grab me down and push himself into me as his speech became more manic. He ended up pushing me onto the floor where I wrestled him to push him off me with much effort, and I suddenly felt that he was trying to kill me. I started screaming for help and for the others to come back, but I didn't feel like anyone was coming, so as a measure of self defense, I grabbed a pencil and plunged it straight into the side of neck, effectively killing him (amazingly the pencil withstood the plunge unbreakingly). As soon as he died, the others rushed back in - and everyone showed signs of sadness, but however they all agreed that I was completely justified in my actions, and sincerly apologised for leaving me alone with him. I left the building and onto a night time street. I was walking, and was suddenly joined by the company of three mysterious mongolian looking children dressed in fur coats (although by their faces it became apparent that they were actually older midgets), and they joyfully ran and played around me. There was some sort of industrial truck parked on the side of the road, with a mechanised ramp extended out the back which folded as the door of the its storage area. I witnessed one of the mongolian midgets stumble into the back of the truck, tripping over, and falling into unconsciousness at the inner side of the ramp, with his head hanging off the side of the ramp. Suddenly, the truck started up, and the ramp began to fold upwards. The midget regained consciousness too late, once the mechanised ramp started brutally slicing his head off as he let out a multitude of horrifying screams before his head silently fell to the ground. At this point I became extremely horrified and traumatised. However, after a few moments of nauseating grief, the three midgets revealed this whole spectacle to in fact be some sort of illusion trick which they put on to scare me, similar to a magician's sawing a woman in half trick; supposedly one of the midgets was the body, the other the head, and the other operating the truck. They all laughed at me for my reaction to the event. At this point I woke up.

[eucalyptblaze]

30.12.2009 Meeting with Sebastian (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This was a fairly short dream and consisted entirely of me meeting Sebastian, on a staircase at my old school, and talking about events in the previous dream. We talked about my "tranced induced" actions at the begining of the events, how I had an irrational surge of verbal abuse directed towards my mother, which to me was a blank state in my memory, as supposedly I did it in some sort of "trance induced" state of as a result of being mind controlled by a hypnotist. Sebastian asserted that in fact I may have suffered from an attack of some sort of mental illness. Then the topic of conversation moved onto lucid dreaming. We talked for some length about lucid dreaming - Sebastian owned some books on the topic ("Lucid Dreaming - Gateway to the Inner Self" by Robert Waggoner), and I expressed my intentions to obtain lucidity in my dreams. Amazingly I did not realise I was in fact dreaming at the time. I abruptly woke up in the middle of conversation.

[eucalyptblaze]

31.12.2009 Punishment for Lamingtons (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID My main recollection of this dream took place within a city shopping centre, in the middle of the night, where everything was supposedly closed. It was a gigantic place, and Kynan and I had found a way to get into a coles, which seemed to be completely deserted. We walked though the isles with the impression that we could do anything or steal anything. I came across a selection of delicious lamingtons on a stand. However, as I reached out to grab one, I suddenly became suspicious that we might be under surveillance after all, so I desisted, and walked away. However, Kynan came shortly and took a lamington and ate it. At various times we came across a horde of girls from school who were in a heavy state of drunken revelry, but however seemed possessed and ethereal, and kept swiftly drifting around the place. When we reached the exit, we were confronted by a female black security guard who immedietly seized Kynan for his stealing of the lamington and began taking his details at a makeshift desk near the checkout counters. I stuck around, seeing myself as innocent; however when she was done with Kynan she called me forth to charge me with the same crime. I protested, but she showed me the security camera footage from a camera which was situated behind me so one could not notice that I did not in fact go through with the action - from behind it looked exactly the same as Kynan's action, at least by their logic.

[eucalyptblaze]

01.01.2010 Slicing off the Hands (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This night I was at times exposed to freezing cold air that made my hands go numb whilst I was outside, and this feeling must have inspired the main part of the dream. The first part of this dream was concerned with downloading torrents. However, eventually the dream became focused around the even of me chopping off my two hands and placing them to soak in a bowl of warm water overnight, with the intention of connecting them back on. Curiously I seemed to have 4 arms (each arm had another one directly beneath it in my shirt sleeves), so I stil had two hands left with which I could get by. My mum was anxious that I should visit my grandmother, and I said I would in a day or two. I eventually became anxious about my hands and decided to reconnect them. I didn't seem to be able to gain control over them at first, but I seemed strangely confident tha they would soon bond with my arms and I could use them again, as if I had done it many times before. My mum kept requesting that while they were disconnected, that I chop off a small part of the end of my little finger and give it to my grandfather, who was apparently missing part of the end of his own little finger, so that he could play piano again normally.

[eucalyptblaze]

07.02.2010 Entering the Fruit (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This was an extremely long and vivid dream. What I write down can only be a fraction of what occured. As early as I can remember, it started off with me being sent on a mission to try and find out how to get into a certain bar in the city which was supposedly in the upper levels of a McDonalds building, opposite the cinemas. I found an odd passage in - a golden gateway with lots of metal latticework - which was more appealing than any other entrance of the building, so I took it. It led to a ramp that took me up to a courtyard around the back of the building. All the architecture here looked and felt in an elegant old fashioned style of a royal palace or sophisticated castle. I walked inside and through dozens of small rooms, corridors, staircases and passage ways, until I came into a room full of formally dressed wealthy old men who were having some kind of conference or get-together. They greeted me warmly and showed me great hospitality, but also acknowledged the strangeness and unanticipation of me being there. My memory of the remainder of this episode gets hazy after this. Later on, I was in the city with friends, but for some reason I kept having an urge to walk down and visit the scientologists in their building quite often. I'm unclear on what I was trying to achieve by seeing them, but I remember I had made some sort of plan, or at least wanted to. The people there were very nice and hospitable to me, especially a reoccuring woman who was very conversive, but I still had my cynicisms that this was just another recruitment tactic. They had a chart with a set of scientologist principles which I secretly found hilarious, but I pretended to show general interest in it, and as I left I asked nicely if I could have a copy to take with me. They said no, but instead they gave me what looked like some sort of application form, which was several pages long and complex, and asked me to, if I wanted, copy down onto a certain section on the form (where an appropriate writing box was present) their list of scientologist principles, provided that I, for each one, provide an example from my own life which would relate to each principle, as a kind of exercise for cohesion of their principles into my life. Amazingly, I actually started doing so. I can't remember what the principles were, but I remember often relating family situations quite often in my related examples. In another episode, I remember catching a tram back homewards with all my friends. I was still writing out my scientology application form on the tram and my friends kept asking me what it was but I kept it secret from them in fear of social embarrasment. On the tram, an asian girl came and sat near me and started flirting with me. Then an old friend from primary school appeared and sat across to me. I was very glad to see this old friend, and we engaged eachother in conversation. He also had an almost identical haircut to mine. When we were off the tram, I was walking with a quite large group of friends, through an old, sparse and semi-industrial area with lots of grasses growing tall everywhere. My friends had gotten possession of my scientology form, and in their hatred of scientology, were laughing at it, throwing it on the ground, and stomping on it. Suddenly, a group of scientologists who were working in the building, notably the familiar conversive woman, and another amiable young man, had appeared and intersected us. They saw what my friends were doing with the application form and were determined to stop them. The woman and the young man whom I knew, recognised me, and beckoned me to come with them. I asked them were they were going, and they showed me an industrial complex that was embedded with an abundance of grasses and flora. They said that in their spare time they run an agricultural lab here, to develop the natural side of things. As they went in, I chose not to follow them, and I rejoined my friends. Later on, I remember us all arriving back in my home suburb. I remember meeting with Alex Leyland who pressured me into drinking the remainder of his alcoholic drinks, and then he left for home. For the remainder of the dream I stayed in a constant state of drunkeness which entailed difficulty walking, severe uncoordination, and a generally very expressive and sociable disposition. On a brief stop at my house, my brother Rafael and my cousin Marianne joined the cohort of my friends, and they set the mission that would persist for most of the rest of the dream, the mission that we must go to Katoomba, via train. We left house quickly, with little time to prepare, and this was further hindered by my drunken state. Immedietly upon leaving, I instantly felt pangs of regret for my lack of preperation, for example, not bringing barely enough warm clothes or a jacket, not bringing much money, and not having a prepaid bus ticket for the bus to central station. On the disorderly and havoc-ridden journey to the bus stop, I became absorbed in the mission to obtain a prepaid bus ticket. I discovered that traffic light buttons had been recently installed with helpful prepaid bus ticket vending machines, but unhelpfully all the ones I came across were out of service for the time being. In my drunken state I clumsily and narrowly avoided disaster of collapsing over stalls in the immensely crowded and dark street. Rafael ended up helping me get on the bus to central station since I had failed in obtaining a prepaid bus ticket before the bus came. This took us all the central station, which in the dream was a multitude of magnificence greater - with a size rivalling the biggest of shopping centres, and a luxurious sophistication rivalling the most prestigious hotels of the world - I later found out it was so posh that even the elevators that navigated the multitude of storeys asked for a seemingly disposable large sum of money in gratitude for their minimal services. On that note on the elevators, I might add that while being in my drunken state, the symptoms strangely extended to an unreasonable extreme fear of heights - and this meant that I couldn't use the great staircases that were abundant in this grand building because of the great heights they reached with only light railing, which at times was impressively unsafe, or even sometimes essentially missing. The long and eventful episode of central station was mostly consisting of a furious and desperate search for the required items of : a prepaid bus ticket, a train ticket, and the information of what platform and what time the train would depart. In my stumbling state the difficulty of this task was made extremely difficult, especially with the added factor of a constate state of urgency that came with the rumours that the train was departing in less than 15, 10 or 5 minutes which I heard often; and the constant panic that came with my habit of losing track of where my friends and family actually were, in this huge complex station. Marianne and Rafael had mentioned to me earlier that there were two diverging possibilities in the plan. They said one possibility was to catch the certain train that took us straight to Katoomba station. The second possibility they said was that we take a train that would not leave us at Katoomba station, and would then entail a massive hike through the wilderness in order to reach Katoomba, which they said that we had done once before, and that it took the entire night until morning to complete. I was confronted by a vision of a memory of hiking through a seemingly endless environment of pure nature, with my path being lit up by the occasional lightning strike, as we stoically travelled through pouring rains. I had an ambivalent sense of both foreboding and adventure as I felt that this option would be the one we would ultimetly end up with. Back at central station, I came across so many of my friends and acquaintances, that it seemed to me that the massive cohort of my entire school year and more were all preparing to take the journey with us. After suffering a seemingly endless barrage of confusion, displacement from my friends, pangs of pain from the elevator fees, and states of freezing fear as I paralysed myself with vertigo on attempting to follow my friends up several staircases; I finally made a helpful acquaintance of a young professional blonde woman who was helpful in guiding me in finding the right places to buy a prepaid bus ticket and train ticket in the huge complex of the gargantuan station, whilst reminding me how many minutes I had left with which to board the train with. Thanks to her guidance, I was able to complete my required tasks - which led me to rejoin the cohort of my friends and acquaintances who were making a massive que on a giant staircase. By the end of it all, the que did not even lead to any train, but rather, everyone seemed to be lining up to get into some sort of semi-organic looking futuristic mode of transport. The vehicle was planted int he centre of a great hall. It appeared as a giant semi-organic bulbous sack, with a tubular appendage extending from the top, which was the entrace, and spewed forth a narrow and fleshlike ramp which the cohort had steadily crowded onto. The young professional blonde woman was waiting by the foot of the ramp, and before I got on, I greeted her once more and thanked her for all her help. She made some sort of enthusiastic and cheerful hand gesture at me, and I then amorously held her hand before embarking, as an expression of my love and joy. The ascent up the fleshy ramp was slow and congested, and by the end of it I was paired to enter the tubular appengade with an acquaintance from school with whom I enthusiastically talked with. The entrance was a tight squeeze to get into the appendage, like trying to get inside a carpel of a giant flower. Once I was squeezed in, I felt my body disintergrate into the fluid totality of the organic structure, and I felt as one with the totality of the cohort in here with me. It was at first pitch black, but soon a designed interface appeared, which appreared to be engineered for easy communication and entertainment for our uncarnate states as dissolved entities to fill the time of our mysterious long journey that lay ahead.

[eucalyptblaze]

17.02.2010 Fleeing from a Burning House (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was with some friends hanging out in someones house. A friend of mine suggested that we go out to a thai restaurant. Later, I was sitting in an alley, and I saw lots of acquaintances from my school pass by. A guy came up to me and started harrassing me to 'see' my wallet and phone, but I denied politely and he didn't persist. After, I as with my mum in a street full of houses. Suddenly a red glow emanating from one of the houses, and soon it began becoming engulfed in a fire. We decided to leave the area in case the fire spread, so I followed my mum into the car. I remembered to ask myself if I was dreaming, and I became lucid. I felt that this dream was quite unstable and could collapse if I tried to do anything drastic, so I decided to just sit back in the car seat and let my mum drive me to somewhere whilst I just observed the scenery of the drive in order to try and stabilise the dream. However, my attempts of non-action were thwarted by the dream, as a large set of keypad arrows suddenly appeared at the bottom of the field of my vision, and I was made to start navigating the car myself with these arrows, as if it were some sort of racing game. The dream soon collapsed, and it was immedietly followed by a false awakening which I identified almost instantly, however I foolishly decided not to have another lucid dream, but rather to wake up. This was followed by another vague false awakening which I failed to recognise, and I can't remember what happened, but it wasn't too long before I really did wake up.

[eucalyptblaze]

18.02.2010 "Sacred, she told me to cross the open road" (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID In this dream I was in an isolated house with my brother and other relatives. Me and my brother got into a fight, and I walked outside. As I was walking around, it started to snow all of a sudden, which I thought was really amazing for Sydney. Then, as I was starting to enjoy the snow, suddenly the sun appeared from behind clouds and melted it all away. My auntie and my cousin suddenly appeared, and we went back inside, and my brother soon left to go out. My other cousin was also there, and she seemed keen to do some sort of mystical ritual onto me which involved pinching certain parts of my body in a certain order and resulted in a great feeling of sudden relaxation. My auntie told my cousin to stop there, before "damages are done that can never be reversed". The next part, which we chose not to commence yet, involved a great deal of different vegetables (I saw a detailed diagram). As the dream was collapsing, I heard a poem being said whilst simultaneously a symbol was being drawn direct into my vision. I can only remember the last line of the four line poem: "Sacred, she told me to cross the open road". The symbol itself was of two silhouettes of a front-on potrait, one lighter and one darker, both arranged as if they were standing shoulder to shoulder, and of a much smaller scale in between them appeared a naked woman with long hair and her arms outstretched, and turning away from the viewer - so that she was standing on the connection of their shoulders and each of her hands were above each of the silhouette's heads. A wreath of golden flowers materialised above the woman's head.

[eucalyptblaze]

20.02.2010 Dangerous Bus (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Early in this dream I had an animal who could freely transform between a cat and a wolf. A man came and showed us a video he made concerning his struggles to preserve such an animal, and I applauded his efforts. Later I went for a long walk with my dad's family. I got wounded at some point, and my dad spat into my wound, saying that it would heal it the best way, and said not to say that he 'spat' in it, but gave me another word to use, which was invented and was complete gibberish. Later I was leading a party of about seven people. To identify ourselves as a group, we all wore dark blue jumpsuits. We were travelling to somewhere on the coast. We got off the train at the station, and went outside to catch the bus. I had been notified that there was a chance that it had been organised for someone to meet us at the station who would escort us for the next part of the journey, so I went to notify the appropriate officer who was sitting an an empty idle bus, whilst my party boarded another bus with a female driver, which was directly next to the bus I was in. I notified the appropriate officer in the idle bus and he said that there was no escort avaliable for us. In the middle of talking to him, the other female bus driver suddenly took off and drove away, with my party on board. Immedietly, the officer I was talking to used his communication device to recall her, and hassled her to drive back, which she said she would do as soon as she could. When she came back, about five minutes had elapsed, and I boarded her bus to find that all my party were missing, and the once full bus now only had about five people left, who I recognised as being from my school cohort, and they all looked terrified, clustered at the back. I walked to the back to join them assuming that the driver had just quickly dropped my party off at the destination. The people at the back whispered to me that everyone else who was previously on the bus is now dead, and that we need to be really careful with where the bus driver takes us. Another passenger whispered to me that the bus driver would gas us to death in the bus, but I assured him that we could easily open or smash the windows around us. The bus dropped us off in an area abundant with hills, grass and forests, with very little signs of human construction to be seen, with the exception of of several gardens that looked thoroughly planned, with pathways and gates. As I lef the cohort of bus passengers from the bus, there was a choice of paths to take, and I felt a great sense of foreboding for all parths except a certain one that lef to a quaint garden on a hill (later I was told that the other paths would have led to instant death). I found out that this area was created as an inaccurate duplicate of a real place. My memory for the rest of the dream beocomes very vague, but I didn't remember ever leaving this place.

[eucalyptblaze]

20.02.2010 Alternate Matrix (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Had a dream that I was watching an alternate version of 'The Matrix'. Paul Giamatti was playing a scientist who was reassuring a depressed woman over the phone who said she felt disillusioned with the world. She was crying in a chair outside in the rain and she said she felt like the world was fake and didn't make sense. Suddenly Morpheus appeared in a chair next to her and silently gestured for her to hang up the phone, and she froze in terror.

[eucalyptblaze]

23.02.2010 Hermaphrodite Ambivalence (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I found myself in some sort of television show in America. I was in a set of guests sitting in a circle on stage, and the host was going around asking each person to share their story about the show's topic, which was sex. Finally, the host asked for the unique story of a certain busty woman with a mass of blonde curls. She said that she was actually a hermaphrodite, that she developed female breasts but also had a penis of sorts. She said that one day, when she was walking in the city at night, she was raped by a man. That man didn't seem to mind her hermaphroditism, and he became her lover for several months. After several months, when they were standing in a grassy field, she suddenly pulled out a gun and shot him - as a long awaited revenge for the initial rape - and he didn't die immedietly, but rather, walked around for a while, in disbelief of what she had done, and stumbled down into an underground bunker in the field where he died finally. She became crazy with grief and for many years refused to believe that he died, for many years claiming that he had simply gone missing and that she would find him eventually, and then sometimes leaving food at the entrance to the bunker, but never walking in fully.

[eucalyptblaze]

24.02.2010 Lucid Artistic Endeavor, In Gratitude to Robert Waggoner (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID My earliest recollection of this dream was something about being at the beach and frolicking in the waves. Later, I was in the streets of around my house, looking for my friend Leon. I was walking around, and it came to my mind to ask myself "am I dreaming?". My initial reaction was "no, of course i'm not dreaming", but I persisted a little longer with the thought, and then I did realise that I was dreaming. I remembered to try Robert Waggoner's 4 stage plan to have a good lucid. First, I made myself modulate my emotions and tell myself to stay calm. Then, I tried to make myself more aware that I was dreaming, and I stuck my finger through my elbow (for some reason I felt that the usual finger through my palm was not sufficient this time). Then, I maintained my focus by looking at my hands every once in a while - and I noticed some very prominent dark greyish blue veins showing in my palms. Then the hardest part, I had to establsh my intent. I decided I wanted to go to an 'art gallery' to 'see some art' for ideas for my next painting. Whilst trying to manouver myself, some very alluring girls kept manifesting in provocative closeness to me, and I had to really fight my temptation to turn this into a sex dream. I decided to move up (levitate) through the ceiling of the room I was currently in, with the intent that the room above me would be an art gallery. On the way passing through the ceiling I was temporarily frightened by some heavy mould on the ceiling, much like that which existed in my grandmothers house. As I passed through, up into the next room which I was first assured to be full of art, I looked around and noticed that there was barely any art in this room (the only such art being simple decorative ornaments on the furniture and one small decorative wall hanging) and I realised that this room was very similar to one in my grandmothers house. I could hear my grandmothers voice talking to someone in the background, and she was describing how she was struck with a mental illness. In this room I was confronted by my brother, who appeared very hostile towards me. I had encountered him downstairs earlier, where he had seemed normal. He seemed to be trying to make me leave, but I wanted to stay, so I tried to annihilate him with my lucid powers. I willed for him to disintergrate into nothingness, and sections of his body started to disappear. However, it was all happening too slowly, and he could still aggressively push me away with what he had left of his form. So then I willed for him to completely disappear in an instance, and it didn't work, and he continued to push me around in his semi-disintergrated state. I became a bit scared and confused as to what I should do. Disappointed with this failed goal, the dream collapsed. I felt pretty disappointed upon waking - for both my unfruitful venture into finding artistic inspiration, which therefore in turn made in vain my abstinence from any other pleasureable dream elements.

[eucalyptblaze]

02.03.2010 Portrait of Two Lovers (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID My dream last night was a kind of portrait of two lovers who had to consider that they would inevitably have to seperate in a matter of days; the man had to leave for some reason. I seemed to be set in a 70's-esque period. The guy had black curly hair, sideburns, and wore a black coat. The woman had black hair and a black dress. All the furniture in the house had a vintage feel. They slowly danced to some soft music to relieve the sorrow of their inevitable seperation, and would always burst into tears when the knowledge of it would be brought up into focus in their collective thoughts. The man planned to paint a portrait of them both together before he would leave. I was somehow observing all this whilst painting a picture of a demonic monkey face.

[eucalyptblaze]

02.03.2010 Hermaphrodite Ambivalence #2 (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID In this dream I was a hermaphrodite who would fluctuate on how I wanted to represent myself, as a man or a woman. For example, on one day I strongly felt like identifying myself as a woman, and dressed in womans clothes. However, in the afternoon, the femininity feeling died down and a masculine identity rose, and suddenly I felt embarrassed of being dressed as a woman. As far as sexual attraction went, when I was in male mode I was aroused by women, but when I was in female mode, I was not sexually aroused by anyone, feeling asexual. Later on the dream seemed to revolve around and encounter with my dad's family, who did not seem to recognise my relation to them, and felt I was intruding into their house, as I was loitering in their kitchen.

[eucalyptblaze]

27.02.2010 Transport Food (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Note: before this dream I had at least 3 other dreams, one of which I think might have been lucid, but for the life of me I can't put together any solid memory of them. I tried to remember them for a long time upon awakening, which eventually led to me falling back asleep and having this dream. Had a dream that I was gone somewhere with Kynan's family and lots of school friends. I was talking to Kynan's dad, who was giving me advice for university life. He said that I had to be a 'werewolf', as he put it, a metaphor for being able to be a good normal student by day and then also be able to transform into a party 'monster' at night. On the return journey back, some of us were on some new car-like transport system, which had the hospitable services of a commercial airoplane. When I was a passanger here, there was a long excruciating scene of device failure, where I was trying to contact Kynan and Louis (who were on other transports) through an in-built phone. I could hear them talking, but whenever I spoke they seemed to not be able to hear me. The device had dozen of buttons without any labels, and I was experimenting for a long time trying to get a good result, but without sucess. When the stewardess came around she gave us a choice out of two options for the dinner food. One was a kind of cake that had dozens of small whole fish embedded into it, and was meant to be a representation of an aquarium where the stewardess once worked. The other meal was a dead panda that had been skinned and then cooked (steamed perhaps) and then kept the form of its body by being bound in a total latex covering that had been painted to resemble the original appearence of the panda - yet underneath the covering was soft pink meat waiting to be eaten. It was meant to be a representation of Chinese culture in inventive new cuisine. I told the stewardess that I might have to have the panda because I didn't eat any fish or seafood, and she replied "Ah, you have the same problem as me". She then told me not to have the panda either because it was sick, and left to go get me something acceptable to eat. Suddenly a visualisation appeared of a girl I knew going through the process of making 'acceptable food' in her home. It was pieces of chicken with vegetables on noodles - she called it "the family salad". However, she was disgustingly mixing it all together in her sink, which was already filled with piles of dirty dishes and scraps of discarded food, and the meal was getting contaminated with all this mess, but she didn't seem to care.

[eucalyptblaze]

06.03.2010 Sydney Terrorism (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This dream revolved around the attacks of a terrorist in Sydney. I was in the city with Pat, but for some reason I had foreknowledge of the terrorism that was about to happen - even though strangely I was confident to travel and linger in the areas that would be effected. The terrorist's weapon was some sort of hand held device that allowed them to shoot an invisible projectile of deadly energy to any desired location; it seemed like the ultimate weapon. I came close to death many times as I became locked in an intense duel with the terrorist - who appeeared to be my friend Luke. The terrorist actually seemed somewhat reluctant to kill me (but was nevertheless determined) and I only survived because I was able to disable the weapon at times though some sort of built-in mechanism that he, almost playfully, allowed to take initiation, where a real-time fast-thinking game or sorts would be set by the weapon, granting me the ability to disable it's use if I didn't lose at the very hard game (losing would mean instant death for me, so the stakes were high). I can't exactly remember how it ended, but I vaguely think that I finally stopped his attacks from persistent counter-attack measures.

[eucalyptblaze]

28.02.2010 In the Wizardry Institution (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was in a harry-potter-esque environment, in a place that looked like outside the front of central station, near a place I heard referred to as "Kaldrad's Bridge". Everyone in the area were wizards. There was a guy who was supposedly my nemisis, trying to kill me, and I knew this deep down. However, on the surface he appeared as a nice person, and I openely supported him, even in the face of adversity from senior executives of the wizardry institution.

[eucalyptblaze]

10.03.2010 Professional Incompetence #2: Two Deliveries (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was at home arguing with a pizza delivey man and another 'electronics delivery man'. Apparently I had not been attentive enough to the door and the pizza delivery man had been waiting outside for a long time and had gotten so hungry that he ate almost all of the pizza we had ordered and was blaming us. The 'electronics delivery man' had a bag full of computer parts (like a mouse, usb cables, etc) but they were all soaked wet and he was blaming us for leaving the water sprinkler turned on, which he unwittingly walked into. Both men had a strange sense of entitlement and blamelessness which they promoted, however unconvincing their cases. In another part of this dream, perhaps earlier, I was with a group of friends and acquaintences from school, and we were walking through some corridors and garden areas in some urban public space. I can't remember where we were going. I remember someone showed me a magazine full of crude images, including defectively formed genetalia and a bizarre deformity that culminated in parts of a face being formed entwined inside someone's upper intestines.

[eucalyptblaze]

10.03.2010 Trench Fish (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID From the parts I can remember: I was in a kind of harbour area. I was navigating myself individually over the body of water by walking on the clusters of boats and other floating devices - there were enough to allow me to get pretty far out into the harbour, which was clustered with such objects. I ended up loitering on some sort of stretches out nets over compartments of the water, and then suddenly through some sort of mechanism they began lowering and then rising back to the surface of the water. I had to nimbly find somewhere to support myself over the water while this was happening. It turns out these were mechanisms for fishing, and they placed me now in the presence of multitudes of caught fish. For some reason, I felt very drawn to these fish in an aesthetic way, while 'other people' found them disgusting. I enthusiastically replaces all the figures of soldiers in a war painting I was making with figures copied from the fish's resemblences, so now the painting portrayed six fish sitting in a trench.

[eucalyptblaze]

11.03.2010 Complex Fun with Television (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was watching a TV in a room with some friends. There were several remotes that people were navigating with, producing bizarre results. One remote seemed to change the visual aspect, browsing through a great multitude of different channels of visual. Another remote seemed to toggle through different channels of audio, and it also allowed for manipulation of different sounds that the audio could be filtered through, like a real-time vocoder. When the remotes were eventually passed to me, I spent some time experimenting with the possibilities here, with my friends providing an abundance of banter to purposefully distract me.

[eucalyptblaze]

12.03.2010 The Circus (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID As early as I can remember, I was at home, for some reason in one of our older houses, with my mum. She had told me something about having lost one of her phones. I was in my mums bedroom once and I saw her other phone had started to ring, so I picked it up. Some guy with a really blokey accent started talking to me, saying that he found my mum's other phone at the beach today, and that we could pick it up from the blue mountains because that's where he was going tonight. He said it would be wise to pick it up because it had $90 credit on it, that would go to waste if we forgot about the phone. When I told my mum about the news she started frantically denying that she ever lost the phone. I told her to be serious because there was $90 at stake, and she still kept stubbornly denying it. At one time she neglectfully dropped $100 (in the form of two $50 notes) on the ground as she walked by. I picked it up and showed it to her, and told her how careless she was being with money, and she continued to deny this as well. I can't remember how this transitioned into the rest of the dream. Next thing I remember, I went to go see the circus with my friends. It started off in a typical big tent structure somewhere in Sydney. They had clowns doing a performance where they had fake heads which were actually balloons and would eventually burst. There was an intermission of sorts, and I shifted seats to sit near someone I knew, who seemed to act strangely cold and reclusive and kept moving away from me. After some time, suddenly the big tent transformed into a train and we all got taken to the blue mountains. Over there in another tent the show continued but there was a long waiting time of several hours to wait for everyone to get there. They were giving out free hardcover blank notebooks, and gave one to each person, but I took two, and Rafael got really righteous and angry with me, but I stood up for myself and reprimanded him. When I got to the 'new tent', there was a guy in a blue gorilla suit sitting in the very centre of the tent, in a small performance stage, stationed at an electronic drum machine, with almost no barrier to stop the audience from crowding by his sides (there was no real distinction of the stage). He was constantly hitting the drums at a slow pace. The supposed backstory to his performance was that he was a 'blue bird' who learnt how to play the drums miraculously. I was being led by a guide to my allocated seat in the tent, but she led me to the blue gorilla suit guy, and she then asked if I wanted to 'lie at his feet' and I said yes, and so she left my lying down on the floor right at the feet of the blue gorilla. I started talking to him and he was quite amiable towards me. He talked about his role in the totality of the performance, and I said that I remembered his character from when I saw this production as a kid. He mentioned how his role would gradually become more interactive as the performance went on. Eventually he decided that me lying down at his feet was no longer suitable, and he sent me to a privileged seat in the crowd where I was entitled to my own electronic drum synthesizer. So I sat there and playfully experimented with it, to the annoyance of other audience members. It had strange functions, such as a button that made it project strong lights onto a black marble that I was holding, creating a spectacle of galactic imagery with the lights, and eventually making the black marble levitate out of my grasp. I noticed that Kynan had arrived and was sitting in a seat that had another drum machine (but it looked like it was of a different brand or model.) The blue gorilla suit man started encouraging us to keep experimenting and playing the drum machines, against the sentiments of some increasingly annoyed petty audience members who would complain about the repetitive noises. I glanced over to Kynan at one time and he looked like he was crying heavily with his face an expression of emotional torment; However, after a few seconds of being perplexed, I realised that he had just been cutting up some onions, which caused all the tears, and he was actually in a fine form. Eventually the show seemed to fizzle out, and I was walking outside with Kip. We started walking home, and we realised how long it would take us since we were all the way up in the blue mountains. For some reason we started talking about the Sydney Morning Herald; and I joyfully frolicked down the streets, dancing and leaping as I went.

[eucalyptblaze]

18.03.2010 The Final Moments of Darwin (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was with some girl in a kind of university environment, which was all ultra modern in architecture. I was living in a tiny apartment which was on the site of this university campus. In one of the rooms I had some sort of archeological area with dirt and stone and a kind of terrain that flourished in a cut away area of a wall. It strangely had the images of Anzac soildiers superimposed into the trench, but I was with someone, my professor, who was actually an old white-bearded Charles Darwin, and he identified a fossilised mammoth tusk in the archeological site, but he immedietly moved it away somewhere because he said it was radioactive and dangerously carcinogenic if I had been sitting near it for a long time (and I had unwittingly been doing so, with my compuer desk right next to the archeological site.) He put the tusk in a red backpack and hung it from a pole a bit further back in the archeological site. Eventually, Darwin gave me and the girl two educational pamphlets; One was on liver cancer and the other was on dreams and subconscious expectation on health, as well as hypnotism to cure such problems. Suddenly, Darwin collapsed and seemed to die, in a corridor of the building. As we called an ambulence, I became very scared because in part of the second pamphlet that he gave to us, there was a precise description of the condition he seemed to be suffering from, and so I saw it as a kind of prophecy being fulfilled from the pamphlets. At that point my liver started seriously hurting and giving me much constant pain, and so I thought I must have liver cancer as described in the first pamphlet. Later, in a false awakening, I found myself in a strange place of Sydney, doing some painting on concrete tiles in the floor of some public square. A seemingly married couple in their mid 30's walked by, holding a canoe between them, and I overheard them talking about their plans. They talked of how they were at a certain beach in the morning but then as the day progressed, too many people appeared there, and it no longer had the exclusivity they yearned for; and they talked and talked about following a different coastline with their canoe, which the man had suggested, but the woman said that she ehard that there was a blockage along the way, and then the man said that a small exclusive beach had been cleared (and it was along this aforementioned coastline) that provided exclusivity and seclusion enough to satisfy them. The woman described this plan enthusiastically as "sexy", and that "they" had even cleared out a path into the bush (of which he called a "snake path" because supposedly it was made so that visitors could walk through the bush in a clear cut path where the disadvantage of not being able to sense the presence of snakes in the tall grasses would not be upon them).