JoannaB's workbook

Hi again guides. :wink:

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Originally Posted by JoannaB

My mom and I were on some sort of large tour vehicle (a ship, spaceship, aircraft, not sure which). We were about to take off. Everyone else was searching for a seat with seat belts and with headphones (that would allow one to hear the guided tour), but my mom had other priorities, not sure what she was doing, and I wanted to be with her. So neither of us had seat belts nor headphones. The crew came and insisted that we need the but then they could not find a better seat for us and they got too busy with takeoff to pay attention to us. In my luggage out of some reason I had a large heavy container with half cooked rice and the water still in it.

I think when I woke up earlier I remembered another dream but then fell asleep again and forgot.

My thought: I have observed before that sometimes there is a delay where one is feeling better during daytime but one's dreams have not caught up yet with the more positive mood, and I think that's what happened last night. Even though yesterday was a good day and a hopeful day but my dream did not reflect that yet. Well, I had another good day today, and hopefully by now my subconscious will have caught up, and hopefully I will have a good dream.

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Maybe the good can highlight the bad though, and the dream seems to say you were more concerned about your goal taking off than listening and paying attention to it. Had to be guided, otherwise where will it go? Hence half-cooked, needing to be fully reconstituted, perhaps with heated emotion, and maybe was too heavy to lift off or you didn't pay attention to what was stopping it?
Your mother might mean your inner action, while your sons in other dreams I think could be your developing outer action of this.

Dream 1: I bought several cars, and they had not been cheap. But each of them broke down in similar spot in parking garage. A man came and said he would help me. He managed to start one of the cars somewhat and off we went. He may have been an employee of the garage.

Dream 2: I was part of some secret society and we had a way of speaking in code in clicking sounds. I was with a man, and he seemed to be asking the kind of questions that made me worry he was an agent for the other side. But then he started clicking, and I was grateful he was on our side. He had a message to deliver. He saw his geothermal teaching teens a sport outdoors. He went up to him and started clicking. I explained to one of the teens that he was his brother.

Fragment 1: I was reviewing old photos of mine and each was under a slightly different name. For one I used my maternal great grandparents last name (not really but in dream I believed it was).

Fragment 2: Had a movie of a political get together at my family home around world war 2. But someone confiscated it saying it was top secret. I regretted not having it as a family momento.

Edit: I had been worried already that I had no recall last night but I guess due to time change. Today had quite a bit.

Thanks superman1! I will ponder this some. Although on second thought I am not going there: just recently stopped seeing a therapist who was all about my internal parent child relationship, parenting my inner child, and that caused me even more issues than I originally came to her for, and when I stopped that therapy I got drastically better.

Another thought, it is weird how many dreams I have about secret societies and top secret stuff, given that my life is pretty much an open book without secrets. I am actually bad at keeping secrets, so I try not to have them. Definitely do not belong to any secret society, and I am pretty sure I have never been exposed to anything top secret. Perhaps my subconscious feels I need more excitement in my life. ;-)

The theme of secrets continues in a different format in the first dream of the night:

Dream1: My husband hides something in a chest with a fake bottom for me to find in case of his death. I open it as soon as possible after he hides it. He is not pleased, since I was not supposed to open it yet.

Dream2: I have some sort of mental illness, not depression, in this dream. But I don't remember what. There were other dream characters who had a mental illness where they have convinced themselves that a couple of imaginary people I told them about are real. Someone else tells me that he is sure I did not mean this to happen.

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Originally Posted by JoannaB

Definitely do not belong to any secret society, and I am pretty sure I have never been exposed to anything top secret.

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That's sounds exactly like what someone who belongs to a secret society would probably say…wink wink…

Seriously though…that is very interesting that it keeps popping up…as if the meaning hasn't been uncovered yet.

Argh! I remember it being the middle of the night, recalling a dream, but deciding not to write it down. It made sense at the time. Now it is morning, and I do not recall a single dream, and wish I did.

Fragment 1: I was under the protection of the mafia.

Fragment 2: I was engaged to be married to Bill, a man who sexually harassed me. But I called the engagement off.

There was a third fragment I recalled a moment ago.

My thoughts: Being under the protection of the mafia is maybe about an illusion of safety, an illusion of well being. It is also in a way like the second fragment in that one has hooked up with an abuser, is shackled to something that is not in one's best interest. I need to identify what is not in my best interest and let go of it, call off the engagement.

Today started with no recall, then came an emotional rollercoaster of a day, but it ended well. I wonder what kind of dreams will follow.

Fragment 1: Aliens discovered - do we wait to figure out whether they are friendly or preemptive first strike?

Fragment 2: I was helping organize a party for a friend's son. Wondering whether friends of friends would be welcome too. Meanwhile I seemed to also be babysitting a little girl.

My thoughts: Given my option of the current administration, I would expect them to shoot first and ask questions later or not at all. But in this dream I was part of those making the decision I think, so perhaps this is not just a political commentary but also about me. Well, I did have to make a fast decision yesterday, a bit too fast perhaps, but I do think I made the right decision. Still maybe the fast decision making caused this dream?

Also it is interesting to observe how my kids are beginning to interact with friends of friends as their friends more than before. My older son told me that he was interacting online with a girl in a neighboring school who is in his friend's class. I bet that caused the second dream. Different friend though.

I wonder whether the babysitting a little girl while organizing a party is in part about my feeling like a bit too much is going on. Need to relax more.

Dream1:

A friend of mine in dream (unknown in waking) wanted to buy two cats together after our previous cats died. We were told to go to isle 9 of this large store.

In isle 9 all the kittens were tiger striped. There were lots of them in bins. Out of some reason I was now with my older son not with my friend. All the kittens here looked the same to me and none stuck out. The was one kitten though that was being rolled over by a bear or a man the size of a bear. The kitten got flattened and bear left, but then kitten recovered. I decided I did not want any of these kittens.

As we were leaving the friend called. I told her none of those, and do not have time now to look at others.

My son and I saw a grassy area outside the store with some groundhogs and wild bunnies on it. Mostly groundhogs but I told my son "look a bunny". There was at least one bunny.

Dream2:

I was with a group of alumni who were Jewish. Though I am not Jewish but I was their friend so they brought me to this reunion like event. At some point they were showing a projection of a wall full of photos, all of them taken from the back showing people's backs of heads. A handsome young man who in the dream was supposed to be a close friend of mine but in reality not someone I know, said to me "look all our photos are up there including yours". But then he remembered "oh yours would not be up there because you are not Jewish. We only include Jewish people in these photos. Sorry." I said "That's all right. No problem." And it really wasn't for me. Out of some reason I thought my sister in law was up there among the photos, the back of the head looked like her anyway.

My thoughts: We are members of our local Jewish community center, though we are not jewish, but it is a wonderful center that offers after school care for kids and classes and events for grown ups and kids. Got lots of friends there, and the fact that we are not Jewish is not an issue in that setting. I think the reason for this dream was because my husband's fraternity is having a reunion this weekend, and there again are people many of whom I would also consider my friends but I am not in the fraternity. And though from their point of view they would probably find it odd, but sometimes I do feel like I do not belong at some of their reunion events. Maybe this dream is setting the comparison and saying why do I never feel awkward in the Jewish community center but sometimes do feel awkward among the fraternity?

The kitten being squished by a bear but then recovering is I think about resilience. Sometimes a bear of an issue threatens to crush me, but as long as I recover from it I am ok. My bear of an issue in these past few weeks seems to have walked away, and now it is time to recover from all that stress.

Maybe some of this is true:

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Originally Posted by JoannaB

Fragment 1: Aliens discovered - do we wait to figure out whether they are friendly or preemptive first strike?

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Could it be the result of the dreams before where you had the fake, then the imaginary and the real, perhaps during your process of change.
So maybe if you could not get where you want yet, you may sometimes feel you have to defend yourself. So that might explain a concern whether the other, or you, is a friend or enemy.
But waiting vs a preemptive strike are opposites. So could mean: waiting, or action?

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Fragment 2: I was helping organize a party for a friend's son. Wondering whether friends of friends would be welcome too. Meanwhile I seemed to also be babysitting a little girl.

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So, this might be fixing it with he choice to make it friendly, while caring for this development within.
Or aliens could mean feeling a bit left out or alienated, and the party can be fixing it.

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Also it is interesting to observe how my kids are beginning to interact with friends of friends as their friends more than before. My older son told me that he was interacting online with a girl in a neighboring school who is in his friend's class.
I bet that caused the second dream. Different friend though.

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The dream can use this to symbolize you.

So you had:
waiting/action to avoid hurt.
alien/friendly.
Maybe taking out the wrong alien or scary idea by having fun and enjoying others.

Waiting or action has indeed been a major theme in my waking life.

Thanks, superman1!

Interestingly, I did not recall this dream right after waking up, but about half an hour later:

I was searching for the perfect birthday cake for my birthday which in my dream was on Christmas not in the summer. I knew I wanted a more European style cake. Chocolate with other flavors like maybe some pistachio and marzipan. The store I went to appeared closed but the man was willing to help me out anyway. He kept insisting he had just what I was looking for. There was this one cake that looked like maybe it. I asked for a sample, tasted it, but it did not taste good. The man expected me to like it though, also he wanted to know if he could pack it up for me, as if he expected me to take the cake I had just sampled which not only was not whole anymore but somehow had collapsed and was a mess. I declined. I wound up making myself a cake. The concern was that it might be too small for all the people present. That or everyone would get tiny portion with no second helpings.

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Originally Posted by JoannaB

Interestingly, I did not recall this dream right after waking up, but about half an hour later:

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^Very nice...and congratulations on the great recall the night before as well!

Warning, this dream should be rated adult only.

I was not myself. I was a young woman, newly wed to an Episcopal priest.

Usually my husband received guests at our home over the weekend, but this time he expressed the desire to be alone. When people knocked on our door I made the mistake of letting them in, saying that he was not available but if they wanted I could host them anyway.

I had not understood that my husband did not want to be alone, he wanted to be alone with me. He clarified that, and so next time we spent a day alone, having sex.

We were in a grocery store, I was sitting on the shopping cart like little kids do, I do not know how I fit, also I was facing toward my husband and the cart must have been quite open in that direction. I was shocked that he would do it in public. Sure he tried to be discreet so no one could see exactly, but people could infer when he penetrated me. A parishioner walked by. I tried to talk to him, without letting on what was going on. My husband could not talk right then. I feared the parishioner figured it all out, but did not seem to mind.

Yes, fogelbise, my dream recall these past three nights seems to be much more detailed than before. :)

I had a lot of stress in my life between March 7 and 17. And now that the stress has been resolved, I can relax, and I think it is having positive effect on my dream recall.

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Warning, this dream should be rated adult only.

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The best kind!

Here is my edited version - I don't mean PG :rolleyes: but of all the dreams - so I don't risk overdoing it:

Maybe Dream 1 & 2 before seen together show depression can disconnect you and from belonging, and the reunion is with yourself too and being better friends with yourself which includes defining yourself, as none of the old kittens stood out you binned most of.
Then you saw some area of growth outside, maybe where you don't repeat but multiply new stuff or listen to this better?
http://www.coinpeople.com/public/sty...ault/bunny.gif Rabbits are highly social animals, unlike cats.

You sister-in-law you saw the face of though must represent the part of you married to what your husband symbolizes.
"A handsome young man who in the dream was supposed to be a close friend of mine but in reality not someone I know," can be this action or control you want, to replace that bear-man one.

This can be the birth of this new you, at a time of union that Christmas is. Maybe European means the tasty sweetness of being more free and open. It seems you were concerned you didn't have enough to go round.
So not being able to join with you, as a priest can't with a female, maybe you want to do this openly in public to get wholey fulfilment, though another part of you does not and is shocked.
Rabbits are known for this. http://www.animatedimages.org/data/m...image-0015.gif

Superman1, I get what you are suggesting, but I think in this case personal associations make a difference:

(1) we have two cats in waking life and they are very social cats. If it makes a difference, I am a cat person, but my husband grew up with bunnies, so that would be his pet of choice, though he is fine with us having cats, which is the pets we actually have now. So in a way cats are my choice, rabbits are my hubby's choice, and that is what they could represent. So maybe not liking my available choices, I go outside myself to seek a choice that is more like what my husband would make?

(2) I am Episcopalian, and the priest in the dream was Episcopalian, and Episcopalian priests can get married and be with their wives. However, I did grow up Roman Catholic, so there was a time in my life when priest cannot marry was norm. My husband is very active in the Episcopal church and considered becoming a priest, which would not have prevented him from marrying though. What if this dream is more of a "what if" scenario, what if different choices had been made, what if my husband had chosen to become an Episcopal priest, and what if I too were someone other than who I am, and what if we were less constrained in some ways?

(3) No, European is definitely not more free and open. If anything more the opposite more formal and constrained and conservative, less casual, but more familiar (what I grew up with). I became more open minded and free when I accepted that I had become more Americanized when I was a young woman. One of the major transitions in my life. European birthday cakes though are without a doubt much tastier than the way too sweet frosting loaded thing that is a typical American birthday cake.

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Tonight all I remember is this:

A book of dark magic (which I out of some reason had) had been borrowed/taken I suspected by kids. There was danger in them playing with it. I found out it was my older son who took it.

Here comes the tricky part, I am not sure whether I woke up or was close to waking up. My eyes were closed. I did a reality check on an imaginary clock, and the time changed from 03 minutes to 05 minutes. But I was awake with closed eyes either at the time when the reality check ended, or possibly even before that, and just playing with images behind closed eyes.

It did not feel like a lucid. It was more like I just woke up from dream and my eyes are still closed so let's practice a reality check, or maybe the last piece of the dream was about me doing a reality check right before I woke up. But it did not have the excitement of a lucid, the realization that this is a dream. So I think I more realized that I was waking up or just had.

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Originally Posted by JoannaB

Here comes the tricky part, I am not sure whether I woke up or was close to waking up. My eyes were closed. I did a reality check on an imaginary clock, and the time changed from 03 minutes to 05 minutes. But I was awake with closed eyes either at the time when the reality check ended, or possibly even before that, and just playing with images behind closed eyes.

It did not feel like a lucid. It was more like I just woke up from dream and my eyes are still closed so let's practice a reality check, or maybe the last piece of the dream was about me doing a reality check right before I woke up. But it did not have the excitement of a lucid, the realization that this is a dream. So I think I more realized that I was waking up or just had.

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Even if it was simply hypnopompic hallucinations, that is a good sign that your awareness was there while you were experiencing them. :) Lots of interesting dreams of late and I am happy to hear that you have gotten past that stressful period.

Thanks Joanna. Yes that helps clarify some things.
Yes I forgot your parents are from Poland or one is, if I recall.
Yes I wish everything wasn't so sickly with sugar. Soft drinks:fuckyeah: ice-cream :dancingcow: and chocolates :reading: as well as cakes :muffin: would all taste much better with half the sugar, or a third.

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Originally Posted by Superman1

Thanks Joanna. Yes that helps clarify some things.
Yes I forgot your parents are from Poland or one is, if I recall.
Yes I wish everything wasn't so sickly with sugar. Soft drinks:fuckyeah: ice-cream :dancingcow: and chocolates :reading: as well as cakes :muffin: would all taste much better with half the sugar, or a third.

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Both my parents and I are from Poland. I moved to the US when I was 16 years old.

An old professor of mine was dying. He had sounded very close to death for a long time. A relative of mine was surprised that he had lived that long.

As I teleported into the university town I could feel the presence of three powerful evil masters conspiring. Had to change my teleportation destination in mid teleport, and landed in the inn, saying something like "That's more like it." Or "Thank goodness." The innkeeper responded that I was the second one to teleport in here voicing relief.

I realized that the powerful evil ones were plotting something. Somehow found out or figured out they were planning a ceremony to use my professor's dead body to bring the devil on earth and start eternal hell on earth. I had to stop it.

I teleported there to the ceremony. Destroyed the body with some sort of laser shooting out of my hand.

But one of the evil ones was willing to commit suicide to have another body. (Cliffhanger ending? Or dream recall ran out?)

My thoughts: Very good dream recall, long and detailed. I am as the hero, a good guy. Had neat superpowers. Last night I dreamed I had a book of dark magic, and tonight dark magic again is a major theme. Wow, what a dream. Oh, and it is significant that the evil masters were three. I once a long time ago had a dream that three means complete. Evil Trinity creating hell? Also note the recurring theme of some sort of secret society, and also religious ceremonies in my dreams though this one was not Christian religious more Antichrist, and I was not part of this secret society. Oh and that particular professor of mine is long dead, died suddenly I think of heart attack or stroke if I recall. He was the only character in this dream who is real. I was not really myself. Interestingly, I think though am not sure that the relative of mine who expressed surprise may have been my grandmother, who in reality has been long dead. If it was her than that would be a second real character in this dream.

Another significant thing I could really feel the evil. Not that I know in waking life what evil feels like, but in this dream it was like I had an extra sense for it.

Oh, and in some ways I would put this dream in same genre as the shape shifter victims of serial killer one. Interestingly enough that dream occurred two nights before a lucid and I do think another lucid is likely soon.

My interpretation:

This dream is about my battle with depression. There is danger in resurrecting memories that should be long dead and buried. In a way I enjoy the battle, and the problem is that as long as I do, the fight is more likely to continue. I have acquired some impressive skills in battling depression. I even thought I had won for good. But thus far I have won the latest battle but have not won the war. One of the greatest dangers in depression is suicidal ideation. Could I someday go down that low again? I wish I could say no, but that would be denial talking, and with depression denial is a great danger too, got to not inderestimate the enemy. Ultimately what I need to keep in mind is that in both dreams and mental illness, ultimately I am battling part of myself, so every win brings with itself a loss also.

Dream 1:
Interaction between me and a coworker in another part of the company that apparently I used to work for, left, and then rejoined (not a waking life employer).

Her: oh, so they rehired you?
Me: yes
Her: I was curious why you only chose to inform me and one of those obnoxious twins when you were interviewing here again.
Me: that was not informing, it was a request for a recommendation.
Her: oh, I must have not read that carefully. I can send the recommendation now.
Me: Don't bother. I now already work here again. And the other guy promptly gave me a glowing recommendation.
Her: Ah that's good. I was curious why you would now have a photo of your former coworker's baby on your desk.
(It is strange she would know that since I am now passing her cube, not she mine, but in the dream I do not realize that.)
Me: That's not my former coworker's baby, that's my child when he was a baby. You know babies look alike. And besides even if it were my former coworker's baby photo, it would not matter because my baby looked just like that.
Her: ah that makes sense.

As I leave her cube, I bend down to choose a desert from a box there without asking whether I may. I am then annoyed because it is supposed to be a box of boxes with chocolate-vanilla-chocolate deserts, and yet the box I grabbed only had two like that, and the rest are chocolate-chocolate-chocolate which is too sweet. I think I will need to complain to someone about that. But then I proceed to eat all of them anyway. (Eating way more sweats at once than I could in waking life. Also the box of sweats I am eating appeared much larger than the one I grabbed. Again I did not notice that while dreaming.)

I obviously felt annoyed throughout this dream (which is weird because in waking life I do not recall anything for me to be currently annoyed about).

Dream 2:
I was working for my old job again. There was a meeting that everyone was supposed to attend that seemed like a waste of time. Then we were assigned someone to join our team, without any way to evaluate her fit and reject if not a good fit. She seemed to at least act like she was in charge. What she seemed to care about the most was an antique piece of furniture in our office rather than the project or the team. I had the choice do I quit? I knew I had not been with this job long this time so it would look bad if I do.

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My thoughts: while not as neat as last night's dream, the first dream of the nigh was detailed, and long. It was different in that I seldom have such long conversations in my dreams, also eating is not usual for me in my dream. I also felt strong annoyance, and many of my usual dreams do not have that strong emotional focus.

The second dream is obviously less desirable for me, old job again. I wonder whether my subconscious keeps bringing me back there to ensure that I finally quit it for good? Or what?

Interestingly both dreams of tonight are about being rehired.