Thread: JoannaB's workbook

Oh I forgot: I also started using an iPhone app again that gives me memory and attention training exercises. I don't know whether that has anything to do with the current improvements, but it might.

Alas, tonight I could not sleep well. Got maybe 5 hours of sleep, which for me is very little. No dream recall.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

Alas, tonight I could not sleep well. Got maybe 5 hours of sleep, which for me is very little. No dream recall.

Yes, short sleep may not be the best for recall. I normally go to sleep around 1am or even alter. But I have notice, that when I go to bed at 11, my recall is great. Well, most of the time, at least. So whenever I can, I aim for that sweetspot.

I think it does 2 things:
1. Longer sleep, more REM, more chances for dreams and LDs
2. Just thinking about what time I need to go to sleep and why sets my intent to dream and to remember them

Today's experiment:

I will see what effect on dreaming this combination has
- severe common cold
- leaving work early
- paying attention to mile markers on way home
- tea with rum and honey
- NyQuil
- no dinner
- to bed around 4:30pm
- intending to wake at 6:30am (if I wake naturally I shall WBTB)

And the answer is: no dream recall. Thorough cold trumps all else. Despite being in bed long, did not get much rest. Staying home sick, as is my 5 year old son.

My son got a second wind from somewhere apparently. I however have discovered that when my nose is completely stuffed up, drinking water feels like choking. This was news to me, so either my nose has never been that thoroughly stuffed up, or my memory of prior colds is really bad. Must remember not to do nose plug RC tonight because I won't be able to breathe through my nose no matter what I do to it.

I hope you get well soon! I don't know if I can teach you anything you don't already know but let me know if you have any questions for me since I am helping out in this DILD workbook area.

Thanks, fogelbise. My problem is converting theory into practice. I think I got the theory down, but my LD practice is rather wanting.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

Thanks, fogelbise. My problem is converting theory into practice. I think I got the theory down, but my LD practice is rather wanting.

Have you identified what it is on the practice side of things that is wanting?

Some ideas for a boost besides the things I see you working on (recall, RCs, etc..)...

• If you can find time for more sleep that is already a help, but then you can also add WBTB to the mix which can make a big difference. In the new podcast format episodes 2 & 3 found here: DreamViews Podcast they talk about natural WBTB's and in episode 3, in the third segment they talk about how WBTBs are often overlooked or not considered often enough (sleep time comes first though).
• Have you tried SSILD? If you do the cycles and go to sleep it has a good DILD success rate. It can also lead to WILDs especially if you don't go back to sleep quickly.
• I usually reserve real efforts until the weekend when I can sleep longer...if you have days like that, just concentrate on getting a good nights rest and then devote more time for WBTBs when you can sleep in or get to be early.

Yup, while I have tried WBTB (and one of my successes was due to it) but I should probably do more of that. Haven't looked into SSILD - will do, although not tonight - tonight my goal is simple: I want to sleep and get some rest; well it would be simple if it weren't for this darned cold. I think I shall take NyQuil. Thanks for all the advice. I shall review it some more when my nose does not feel like a turnip.

WBTB... The secret god of LDing.

I woke up able to breathe through my nose! It is alas recongesting now, but I remember it being clear enough to breathe through less than five minutes ago (using my short term memory here). I decided, might as well attempt to WBTB now, why not? So I am up for the time being, but shall go back to bed. "I dream, and I realize I am dreaming, and I remember my dream."

Woke up this morning with an important self awareness realization: my last lucid dream was on 7/23, and it is because in the last three months I have discontinued the most important self improvements that I had worked on to change myself from the low that I was at when I first came here in late February. I had discontinued exercising, spiritual growth, reading nonfiction, classical music, exploration into new to me territories of thought, taking off my glasses to look at the world differently, ADA sessions. All those wonderful practices that I had gotten into between March and July, I had let them all slide, and become once again more narrowly focused and obsessive. My dreams were trying to warn me by sending me all those dreams of the old winning over the new, and most recently a dream in which I ended up imprisoned in an opium den, and yet while I even correctly interpretted those dreams, but I did not fully process them and understand what went wrong, and what actions I need to take to get back on track. Now it's as if a fog has been lifted, and I can see again what's wrong and what I need to do to improve again.

This sounds like an important breakthrough! Very nice Joanna! Perhaps setting reminders or goals can help keep you on that path. Maybe I should start interpreting my dreams more often.

I think I shall start tracking my self improvement progress in here as well, just the positives: last night I read some in the book Goedel Escher Bach, I listened to Chopin's music, and this morning I exercised not long since I am still not fully over my virus - but every bit counts. My mood is much better than a few days ago. No dreams recalled, but I won't push myself too hard on that right now - baby step improvements.

Excellent stuff Joanna, but I know you know that By the way, after reading your post before last, your post reminded me that I had lost focus on certain things. I was being lax on my awareness and perspective work. Thank you. I keep saying that I should create my own workbook and track the things that are working (and those that are not), systematically. So I think that is an excellent idea that you plan to do that.

Today I woke up without dream recall but did not choose to feel guilty over it, and similarly when my afternoon nap WILD attempt failed to get me to sleep, I am a bit more relaxed and no big deal. I continued reading a bit in GEB, which is indeed and excellent book though no light reading. This morning my husband and I had a very interesting theological philosophical discussion about the nature of reality, God, and touching on the issue of why evil exists. I have missed having these debates and thinking of these issues, and am glad to get back to it. Unfortunately though I felt physically worse again: coughed a lot at night, and had a headache at some point this morning. So not all is progress, but there is some.

Remembered a nonlucid dream today, and I found it amusing, so that's good. Also exercised this morning.

Woke up early, but alas spent more time than I intended reading in DV, and by the time I wanted to attempt to meditate my family was up and making too much distracting noise. Opportunity lost. Got to improve my priorities in the morning, or maybe institute a strict no DV before 6am policy, so that if I wake up before that I should focus on non electronics.

Had an emotional breakdown this morning due to a conversation I had with my husband - he did not mean it, and if I had not been so darn fragile right now, I should have been fine. I could use a mental health break, but I can't take it, due to no sick leave or vacation time left for now, and too much going on at work. Oy.

I will need to find my composure, my balance, and regrow a thicker skin, so that I am not so easily hurt.

So my progress toward self improvement today - not so well. Stress level - up. I do not expect success on the dream front tonight.

Today I did a meditation attempt session in the morning, and I think it went better than at previous attempts. Progress. Surprising given how congested I am.

I did not recall any dreams, but given what a bad day I had yesterday, maybe that is for the better and not unexpected.

Failed to excercise in the morning, but will try to do it in the evening.

Yesterday was a much better day, mostly routine and mostly calm. Although I did have a conversation on the phone with my dad which included some tension.

This morning I did exercise and I tried meditating a bit again.

Alas I also discovered that it is hard to tell one's mind not to think of something and expect to refocus successfully. That's not how it works.

Oh no, I once again lost track of my priorities today, and became riled up about something that I should just let go. I really need to refocus and avoid becoming involved in stuff that just increases my stress and does not help me get out of this emotional roller coaster.

Reading your Bible and praying (since yar a Christian) should be a great way to get rid of stress since God has promised those that seek him a "peace that surpasses understanding".

Also. A good thought when stressed that actually helps lucidity:
It doesn't matter how stressful it is, because tonight I will be in a place that I don't have anything requited of me, I can do whatever I want once I get there.

It will relieve the stress and create expectation, which can be really hard. If you can control your expectations, you can lucid dream.

Thank you BrandonBoss. You had a good suggestion there about my reading the bible. I read about miracles yesterday. The fish and breads, walking on water, miraculous healing - good stuff.

Alas, no recall last night. My son woke up in the middle of the night with a very bad hypnopompic hallucination or false awakening where a zombi followed him out of his dream into his bed. I tried to reassure him as best as I could. Not sure how much I succeeded.

This morning tried meditating outside on the porch. The air is nice and cold and fresh. I tried concentrating on sounds. But my thoughts kept disturbing me, and I could not let them go. They were thoughts of dissatisfaction: angry thoughts, disappointed thoughts, bothered thoughts. Meditation fail.

Again no recall. Went for a walk this morning, my head filled with unhappy disturbed thoughts. Then typed stuff I probably should not have typed. Gave myself a tension headache. Are too much chocolate.

However then I emptied the dishwasher, did some dishes. Started rememorizing Morning Has Broken - that's one of the things that got me out of the depression last time, memorizing uplifting spiritual songs, and singing His praises, until my mind was filled with song and not the issues. Then I watered my neglected orchids. I keep being amazed that they survive so long under my "care" - is this evidence that life is a dream and all in our minds, since surely the only reason those plants are still alive is because I need them to be so. When I first looked at the 24 plants this morning, I thought that none of them are in bloom, but then I discovered that three of them are blooming - two tiny ones with a multitude of tiny pink flowers, and one medium sized orange one with a single bloom that was hiding behind another plant. I take that as a sign of hope.

Huge headache, and this time it doesnot feel like a sinus headache, but more of a tension headache or migraine. Do I welcome it, since concentrating on physical pain is preferable to concentrating on emotional issues?

While exercising to the Wii, I realized why the gym does not work for me. It reminds me of public humiliation in middle school where my teacher used to say "And now Joanna will again demonstrate how not to do it." The Wii does not judge me. It may not be as strenuous as the gym - although I can, and today did, work up quite a sweat - but comparing it to the gym is not useful, because I am just very unlikely to go to the gym to exercise in front of strangers.