I can't fly or manipulate anything even while lucid. Advice on a disturbing dream?

Hullo, I'd appreciate any advice or tips that anyone has to offer on a problem of mine: not being able to control my dream content or fly. I understand the concepts of lucid dreaming, having read a few books, many of these forums and whatnot, so I know what I should be doing. But, I've always had a logical mind and it's difficult to break through my preconceptions of reality: gravity, space between settings, free will of other humans. The lucid dream it came out of is below, I think I also just needed to write it out to a group, as I felt constantly uncomfortable, uneasy and fearful despite the lucidity. I woke quite upset.

Last night, I had my second lucid dream. In it, I became aware my mother, who I had just been talking to, had vanished. This sparked lucidity, and I euphorically ran down a track at a college I live nearby to, shouting in triumph. I nearly lost lucidity, so I calmed down. I've never flown in a dream, so I tried. Nothing happened, even though I knew it was a dream, I knew I was able to fly if I had the expectation present. Disappointed, I saw my sister walking ahead of me, but she was walking funny.. like she was made of melted putty, swinging her arms and legs strangely. She transformed then into a large, sinister character with a monstrous face torn in some parts to reveal his skull, which was slightly on fire, wearing a trench coat. Rorschach meets Ghost Rider, then takes nightmare steroids and grows. He strode quickly toward me, then transformed into an obscure acquaintance. My desire in dreams is to talk to DCs, so I asked him, what do you represent? He answered, you, now. He walked away, gaining a blue toga and a massive bow, like a Greek hero, or Kid Icarus. I looked into the sky, which started to fade to black, then back down to retain my dream awareness. I tried spinning to a new environment to no avail.

Knowing this was a lucid dream, I started looking for some lucid booty, and I am not a pirate. I asked several women I saw to undress, but they vehemently defended their honor as any woman in a street would, making me feel self-conscious and slightly abashed. I walked into a nearby building and couldn't change anything. Nothing, I was in a very low degree control over the dream. I talked with a couple people about making plans to go to another dream, and they were drawing up plans for it (a cruise in a wondrous tropical sea with a boatload of girls), when I walked past a man I knew sitting on a couch. He said, Matt, this will always be a part of you, then proceeded to molest a girl I know who he was next to, who was sniffling and unresponsive. Enraged, I lost sight of creating a tropical paradise and wanted to hit him, though I'm not generally violent. As I moved slightly toward him, I merged with the girl on the couch, who turned into a very close lady friend, and the dream turned sexual.

I woke up feeling angry, ashamed at the disturbing content and thrown off in general. Did I expect to be turned down? Was the amorous ending a reward for trying to attack evil, or did I give into my anger and become the evil itself? Mainly, I see the strangeness of it all as being caused by my inability to control and manipulate my dream environment (not able to fly, create new dream, etc.). If I had been flying, I think I could have escaped the nightmarish elements of it. So how can I better change my dream world and create the belief necessary to kick-start my lucid life? Any reactions, thoughts, words? I feel confident about being able to learn dream control, but my second time was disappointing, though far, far longer than the first.

The real unanswerable question is, why are the two evil characters in the piece, the fearsome monster hero and the predator, a part of me, and how can I either integrate them into my psyche... or destroy them? Love your enemies despite their wickedness, even if they are within, or are these weeds in me that I should be rooted out and burned?

You've only had 2 LD's. Control is hard in them and just keep trying, actually believe it and don't give up just because it doesn't work. :) Actually BELIEVE that you will fly. say "this is my dream". Also don't get caught up in the dream, do what you want to do, and remember. It was still your only second lucid, you will have more and you will be able to do more stuff. :D

Thanks for the positive feedback, sparkley. Looking back over the event, I see now that I let my emotions overtake me, rather than relax and let the profound nature of dream awareness really resonate through me. I immediately started rushing about, trying this and that for brief seconds then feeling disappointed when they didn't work. So, you're right, I know my control can only improve with practice.

Are nightmarish elements common for anyone AFTER lucidity is achieved? I'm surprised I encountered such a monstrous figure moments after I became lucid.

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Originally Posted by NafDaddy

Are nightmarish elements common for anyone AFTER lucidity is achieved? I'm surprised I encountered such a monstrous figure moments after I became lucid.

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Oh, definitely!! Being lucid does not guarantee control or pleasant circumstances. It simply means you're aware that you're dreaming, but after all, it is still a dream, and subject to all the usual dream weirdness. In fact, quite likely it turned ugly because you were attempting to take control, and trying to make women disrobe. Probably you felt a stab of guilt for that which then directed the next phase of the dream. Dreams respond strongly to emotions, not so much to ideas and thoughts. Trying to force things is not a great idea, especially trying to force your will on other people (even though you know they're only dream figments).

I remember being quite frustrated and disappointed in one of my early lucids because I couldn't make anything happen, try as I might. The thing to do in those situations is to follow along with the dream, see what happens, and don't try to force your will onto it. Just control your own actions and reactions to what happens. Maybe try less proactive things - like press your hands against a wall or window gently for a while, willing yourself to go through it, and usually after a brief period of resistance you'll go through. Usually, but not always. Something like that is easier and more do-able than trying to fly or exercise dream control. And keep in mind, attempting dream sex is often a lucidity killer or worse a nightmare inducer. Especially if it's without consent.

I've also had lucids where I was flying around as if it was my normal mode of conveyance - without trying to do it at all. Different dreams just have different parameters.

Sounds stupid - but jump down from something - and pretend air behaves like water - do swimming motions and you should easily fool yourself into feeling a resistance. Works always for me, even for instances, when more sophisticated stuff doesn't work.

First, try not to worry if this is your 2nd.

I've had many really small LDs, some blurry, dark, non-stable, some others more vivid (but still really short). And even if I still wasn't able to achieve anything big, just small moments (personal tests, experiments, etc.) one say I'll tell you: sometime, for a reason, I also find myself not able to control

In one dream I was testing my dream control to walk through objects, choosing to hit some with my head, while other going just through them, and I achieved it. On some others, I couldn't fly, as you say.

Probably, in your next LD you will be able to fly. In any case, as you have more and more LDs, even if they are short, each one will give you more and more experience. Do random tests about easy dream control. Take a look at the Task of the Month, even previous months, and choose a couple tasks, remember them (or they will vanish in the dream), and try those.

Good luck.

Yupp - it is a skill which has to be practised - you can help yourself with the one or other trick in thinking.
Another trick for summoning something or somebody: Convince yourself, that you (pretend-)remember, having seen the object around the corner.
Or knowing that behind this door is a room with xyz in it. Basically build real expectation, that what you want is in your dream already - just out of your sight at the moment. That it easier than to summon out of "think air" - which it technically shouldn't - but practically and psychologically such can help you out. I've been summoning a lot of stuff and people like this and still have problems with convincing myself I can do it magician style too.

Excellent feedback, guys, thanks. I guess I fooled myself into thinking that if I became lucid, everything would become all sunshine and snickerdoodles at the least and powerfully spiritual at the best. It's good to be reminded that dreams are still dreams, and don't always make much sense. Steph - I probably won't try to jump off anything and fly, as I tend to have dreams of falling and hitting the ground a lot, but I'll keep trying to build my powers of expectation and belief. And Dark - you're right, it was the guilt that created the negative elements I experienced. It was weird being the antagonist in a dream rather than the protagonist, I certainly didn't like it one bit. Mistakes are the best reminders of places in life that still need work.

The hit and miss nature of lucidity disturbs my natural desire to want to become a master at something immediately. I'll keep on keeping on. Again, I appreciate the words of wisdom you cats have shared with me.

It took me more than 10 lucid dreams until I could fly and that was my latest lucid dream which I had a week ago. You have to really believe that you can do it. Think that the laws of physics don't apply in your dreams. Anyway, my first time flying, I couldn't go fast. It was very slow. Even when I said "go faster" out loud, it wouldn't speed up.

Also, in case this helps...

Since my childhood, I've always been a very imaginative person, and one thing that stole many hours from my life is thinking I become some kind of super-hero. But not just like Superman, or anything like that. Just, as Neo in Matrix, as if I discolver how to manipulate space-time, and I'm able to do whatever I want... fly, teleport to a planet somewhere, go back in time to where earth had no life, go to the future and see the final moments of this planet, etc...

And yet, even being at 36, I'm sometimes like a little kid, letting my mind wander. And being these like episodes on a TV show, maybe while having lunch I just imagine a situation, like walking on Mars, on a heavy wind, at 400ºC (which doesn't affect me).

And is precisely this feeling about being something... special... a fearless person which is some kind of expectator on this universe, what you should apply on dreams.

I had problems flying only a few times, the rest of the time I don't even have to put any effort on it. The moment I realize I'm dreaming, I become this "superhero", to say so, and I feel everything around me as "my world". I even feel evil myself. Like some kind of god that can manipulate or do anything.

I remember one of my false awakenings, when I opened my bedroom door, and felt a bit of fear, not knowing what my mind could do to me. But it happens that I chose to be the thing to be scared of. I slowly walked the semi-dark hallway floating, looking straight at front, and I'm pretty sure I had an evil wicked smile. I was almost like challenging, whatever or whoever could be around, to get out. Nothing happened.

So, to do things on dreams, meaning dream control, you really have to FEEL that it's your world. Flying is as easy as walk. The moment you have doubts, or if the dream is too vivid and you're not sure, possibly it won't happen...

On daytime, choose a moment where you have 5-10 minutes relaxed on your own, and try imagine you are like the one in the dreamworld. See yourself opening a window and flying, feeling a bit of fear at first, but the ability to do it. Imagine yourself flying on a highway going around cars, above trucks, under bridges, try to really feel how you imagine it does feel. For me it creates this weird sensation on my chest. Flying on a dream is as easy as that, because you just... do it :)

Good luck.