why is my dream guide such a B*tch, and how can i replace him?

Hello,
so i stopped lucid dreaming for years now, and i am coming back more excited than ever, one thing i am not looking forward to, meeting my dream guide.
he literally ruin my dream experience, i will give you an example from my old DJ of my FIRST encounter with him, you can imagine how bad he is, all the insults are quoted of him exactly, he actually insults me in my own dream and laugh at it, and i can't do anything about it.

the dream took place in a street empty of people, but had some cars, i was walking the street thinking about achieving my next goal on the list (sex at the time), i wanted to make it day time so i shouted my usual phrase (INCREASE CLARITY) and suddenly i saw a shadow in-front of me for a figure coming behind me, and he said in a mocking voice "shut the f*ck up* and my increase clarity didn't work(most time it doessn't work the first time i don't know if it has anything to do with him), i was like WTF, looked behind me and saw nothing, but the shadow was still there, i somehow knew he was my dream guide, he had my voice but higher in pitch, i was excited and said "you are my DREAM GUIDE" he said something along the lines of "DUH, idiot", i didn't think much of it, and told him "i want to have sex but there is no people in the street" (i have hard time having sex in dreams for some reason *pun not intended*) he said "there are cars, open a car door idiot", i did, and i found a 60sh years old woman there with a prostitute look, my dream guide started laughing like crazy and disappeared, later in the dream i was able to get an ugly younger girl for a start, but that's not the point.

i know some of you might see it as funny, i did for a while too, but it actually became annoying, he doesn't help me at all, he only appears when i am ALREADY lucid and without me calling for him (i might stand him if he help me achieve lucidity), he mock me, ruin the dream and sometimes wake me up, how can i replace him if possible, or change his attitude, i haven't see him in years since i haven't lucid in years, but i am coming back now, and he used to show up alot, and i don't want him to ruin it again, there is no way to reason with him, he is very different than other DCs, like he have a personality of his own, i can't control him at all, my tries usually caused me to wake up (i succeed sometimes, but not worth the risk of losing a lucid dream), this doesn't happen with other DC

Hi,

Have you consideerd starting up conversation with him about this topic and asking him why does he acts so mean and does that to you.
Since he has personality of his own he probably has his own reasons to stop you or break your lucid experiences up aswell?

He might be maybe trying to protect you from something?

You should try what Misaka said and I found it kind of funny but I understand how annoying it can be. I have a question though. Do you find yourself telling others to be quiet a lot or see someone acting in that manner? And if you do does it bother you? If not ignore his existence and replace him with someone else.If you don't pay attention to him he will have less chances of appearing in your dreams. : ) One more thing...You made him your dream guide by accepting it. He may be a bit smarter but that doesn't mean he has to be. After all you don't find his personality helpful at all. I think you can change him if you don't think of him as a enemy or dream guide. In my dreams I had a Dc who was similar to a dream guide but more of a invader. He doesn't appear in my dreams anymore cause I forgot about him. But I recall the last time I saw him I found something acceptable in him even though at first he wanted to ruin my dreams. He could be kind if I made him laugh and even if he wanted to ruin it at first he told me he would leave me alone and left with his partners in crime.

First of all, why do you consider him your dream guide? That doesn't sound like the way people describe dream guides - they're supposed to be Helpful! I think a good first step would be to reduce the importance you've given that character. It's just your subconscious trolling you. It likes to do that, and I suspect you gave the character too much attention and that's why it keeps appearing in your dreams now, because you expect it to. You need to realize that even a dream guide is just a character you dreamed up - it's a figment of your imagination and doesn't have any great power over you.

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Originally Posted by MisakaMikoto

Hi,

Have you consideerd starting up conversation with him about this topic and asking him why does he acts so mean and does that to you.
Since he has personality of his own he probably has his own reasons to stop you or break your lucid experiences up aswell?

He might be maybe trying to protect you from something?

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i really don't think he has any good intention, he is just one big troll, i tried reasoning with him like telling him "please don't appear in my dreams again", and such things, and he is like a 4chan kind of troll, he takes it as an opportunity to troll more.
i just want to get rid of him for good, but i still want a DG :/

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Originally Posted by DawnEye11

You should try what Misaka said and I found it kind of funny but I understand how annoying it can be. I have a question though. Do you find yourself telling others to be quiet a lot or see someone acting in that manner? And if you do does it bother you? If not ignore his existence and replace him with someone else.If you don't pay attention to him he will have less chances of appearing in your dreams. : ) One more thing...You made him your dream guide by accepting it. He may be a bit smarter but that doesn't mean he has to be. After all you don't find his personality helpful at all. I think you can change him if you don't think of him as a enemy or dream guide. In my dreams I had a Dc who was similar to a dream guide but more of a invader. He doesn't appear in my dreams anymore cause I forgot about him. But I recall the last time I saw him I found something acceptable in him even though at first he wanted to ruin my dreams. He could be kind if I made him laugh and even if he wanted to ruin it at first he told me he would leave me alone and left with his partners in crime.

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i think i know what part of my brain this thing came from, i myself think those kind of thoughts while talking to people (without saying it out loud), i feel like most people i am around are stupid and not worth talking to (please don't judge), you said that i can change him, can you please tell me how, cause i tried telling two guys and a girl in my dream to become my new dream characters, they were nice in that dream but they never appeared again (and they were dumb, the DG i have now -even though is a troll- but he is smarter than all other DCs, and have his own personality) and i like my DG to be like this but without all the trolling, i can stand him trolling me if he starts helping me, but idk how i can do that.

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Originally Posted by Darkmatters

First of all, why do you consider him your dream guide? That doesn't sound like the way people describe dream guides - they're supposed to be Helpful! I think a good first step would be to reduce the importance you've given that character. It's just your subconscious trolling you. It likes to do that, and I suspect you gave the character too much attention and that's why it keeps appearing in your dreams now, because you expect it to. You need to realize that even a dream guide is just a character you dreamed up - it's a figment of your imagination and doesn't have any great power over you.

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i didn't consider it, i just "knew" it, it's hard to describe really, but i just knew he is my dream guide, thanks for the tips i will try to follow them, i don't even recall how his shadow looked anymore so i hope that helps, i really want a decent dream character, i always wanted Alice "from Alice in wonderland"/ the mad hatter, or any other character from the movie to be my guide, is there any way to accomplish that ?

Oh okay. You don't have to like everyone so its fine. You can change him by focusing on positive characteristics of that dream character and believing he has the rest of the good characteristics you want him to have. It's your dream so even if he acts annoying in one doesn't mean you can't make him good in the next dream. Also, I guess you want him to be your dream guide cause he kind of helped you out by stating the obvious but you can imagine him as someone else instead too. Remember your dream guide can look different and act different too. It is your dream after all. But I understand how a lack of dream control can make it hard at times. Just don't get so frustrated about it. We don't even need dream guides so it shouldn't bother you.

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Originally Posted by Butcher

i think i know what part of my brain this thing came from, i myself think those kind of thoughts while talking to people (without saying it out loud), i feel like most people i am around are stupid and not worth talking to

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Oh, well there you go right there!! That's the problem. You created him - he's that trollish voice you allow inside your head. Apparently he's going to treat you the way you treat others internally. But this is good because it means if you want to get rid of him all you need to do is become a better person (which is something you should do anyway - see, he's actually helping you). It's really no good at all to have these negative insulting thoughts in your head, all they'll do is get worse and worse and turn you into a sour person. It's a habit you've developed and you need to replace it with another one - positive thinking. Learn to think good thoughts about yourself and other people - and heck, why not next time the guy shows up in a dream give him a great big hug and tell him what a cuddly teddy bear he is!! What have you got to lose?

This technique is well known to work - if you can turn a rampaging bear into a puppy dog just by beaming love at it, then this guy will be no problem (and that sort of stuff does happen, it's a very strong technique). Seriously when you see him, allow yourself to fill with love and go at him for a huge hug. I literally turned a bear into 2 dogs that way in a dream once, which was about to become a nightmare (as soon as I see a bear, they always do). Prepare yourself before going to bed - think about him and immediately think about something that fills you with joy. Feel the warmth and love grow inside you, and picture him, and feel that love for him. Let it keep growing. Pour so much love into him it feels like your heart is going to explode.

Incidentally, whenever you want to start insulting people in your mind, do the same for them.

Another DV member, Hyu, recently confronted his DG who had turned evil. She was being really horrible to him and preventing him from doing what he wanted in his lucid dreams.
He focused on the positive things he remembered about her (great advice from Darkmatters above), and sat down to talk with her openly about her behaviour.
The outcome was pretty heavy, but it was an important step he took in his dreaming journey.
His DJ entry of the confrontation is here, if you want to take a look:
A visit from ~ Dreamer ~ - Confronting Faye - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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Originally Posted by DawnEye11

Oh okay. You don't have to like everyone so its fine. You can change him by focusing on positive characteristics of that dream character and believing he has the rest of the good characteristics you want him to have. It's your dream so even if he acts annoying in one doesn't mean you can't make him good in the next dream. Also, I guess you want him to be your dream guide cause he kind of helped you out by stating the obvious but you can imagine him as someone else instead too. Remember your dream guide can look different and act different too. It is your dream after all. But I understand how a lack of dream control can make it hard at times. Just don't get so frustrated about it. We don't even need dream guides so it shouldn't bother you.

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thanks, i guess i can find some good things in him if i looked really..really REALLY hard :P.

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Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Oh, well there you go right there!! That's the problem. You created him - he's that trollish voice you allow inside your head. Apparently he's going to treat you the way you treat others internally. But this is good because it means if you want to get rid of him all you need to do is become a better person (which is something you should do anyway - see, he's actually helping you). It's really no good at all to have these negative insulting thoughts in your head, all they'll do is get worse and worse and turn you into a sour person. It's a habit you've developed and you need to replace it with another one - positive thinking. Learn to think good thoughts about yourself and other people - and heck, why not next time the guy shows up in a dream give him a great big hug and tell him what a cuddly teddy bear he is!! What have you got to lose?

This technique is well known to work - if you can turn a rampaging bear into a puppy dog just by beaming love at it, then this guy will be no problem (and that sort of stuff does happen, it's a very strong technique). Seriously when you see him, allow yourself to fill with love and go at him for a huge hug. I literally turned a bear into 2 dogs that way in a dream once, which was about to become a nightmare (as soon as I see a bear, they always do). Prepare yourself before going to bed - think about him and immediately think about something that fills you with joy. Feel the warmth and love grow inside you, and picture him, and feel that love for him. Let it keep growing. Pour so much love into him it feels like your heart is going to explode.

Incidentally, whenever you want to start insulting people in your mind, do the same for them.

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i already mentioned that he is only a shadow and not a physical charicter, how am i supposed to hug a shadow :)?
but will try to change my way of thinking it might help, thanks.

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Originally Posted by ~ Dreamer ~

Another DV member, Hyu, recently confronted his DG who had turned evil. She was being really horrible to him and preventing him from doing what he wanted in his lucid dreams.
He focused on the positive things he remembered about her (great advice from Darkmatters above), and sat down to talk with her openly about her behaviour.
The outcome was pretty heavy, but it was an important step he took in his dreaming journey.
His DJ entry of the confrontation is here, if you want to take a look:
A visit from ~ Dreamer ~ - Confronting Faye - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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thanks, that DJ entery gave me goose bumps, my DG is horriblle but not to the point of hurting me (yet..anyway), i will try having a long talk with him, and i will ask to see his real look since a shadow is kinda creepy for a DC, maybe this is a good hing since i can make him look like anything else, i will try to make him appear as the madhatter :).
will keep you all updated. that can be quite an interesting dream.

If its too hard to find good things about him just focus on one good thing and don't let the negatives cloud your mind. :3 I'm sure with all the good advice you got you will prevail. Also, hugging a shadow is possible in a dream. I've done it before and I don't see why its not possible. If hes on the ground or wall pretend your pulling him out of there. XD

Oh, I thought he only appeared as a shadow in the most recent dream? Well then just beam love at him. I attempted a flying hug at my bear, but never even made it to him before he split apart into 2 dogs that turned out to be my former pets. So physical contact is not a necessity.

OMG that first post was so funny post more dream storys please.

What if YOU started mocking him...? 8)

You could ask him why he's doing those things, for a start. My first and only encounter with my dream guide gave me negative feedback as well, disagreeing that I was happy in life, which I felt I wasn't at the time.