I really could do with some help. Im loosing my mind.

I don't know if I'm posting in the right forum here, but essentially I have just woke from a dream and I am afraid to actually go back to sleep. I won't go into details of the dream as it literally felt like a lifetime and I'm still a little shaken up.

About 5 years ago I really tried to get into lucid dreaming, and it went okay at first I started noticing after I had woke up 'Wow, this is actually real' - i thought it was just a myth.
But nothing ever major happened and when it did I had no control so I eventually just sort of give up with the conclusion that I couldnt do it.

I went on with my life through school, then college and now through a couple of jobs without the thought of lucid dreaming ever enter my head.

Which brings us to the past few months, and especially this week. I have not told anybody in my family or anyone even remotely close because I think that they will think that I am actually crazy; and I might be.

I have had what I describe as 'hyper-real' dreams almost every night. Some i forget and just know they happened sort of thing. But some... Some have terrified me more than anything in my life up until this point and I am actually beginning to fear sleep; and like i say i have just woke from what i would consider to be the worst of the lot.

It wouldn't even be that bad, but when i wake up, the feelings from the dream are kind of still swimming round my head and it just freezes me to my bed, and i'm scared to even turn my head. Then any little noise i hear just freaks me out to the point where on one occasion I just left my house very quickly and didnt come back until daytime.

Now the reason i come here is because i want to know how i can control these dreams. I know i can because i feel myself doing it very briefly in the midst of these dreams but as i mentioned i would describe them as hyper-real rather than lucid. I am not trying to have lucid dreams. I am almost fully aware of what is happening but it's like i'm just a passenger. Watching everything and being affected by everything but not being able to do anything, and whenever i seem to have had an opportunity to sort of take control, i seem to amplify the horror. For example: in this dream i just had i had done something that i would say is unthinkable in the real world, and i really sort of felt the shock of it, then, within the dream i sort of blacked out, and then i woke in the dream still. i turned to my friend and i was like "phew, i just dreamt it man it wasn't real" and he was like "no, you did it mate, what are you talking about?"
And then within the dream my nose started to bleed, and i mean the blood was just rushing from my face, it was so warm and incomprehensively terrifying. Then within the dream it felt like i lived on from that moment with the regret of what i did for what i would describe as years; it was just uncountable time. All the while i was telling myself 'i'm sure it was a dream, why would i do something so horrible' - So i'm questioning my dreams WITHIN my dreams - this is so messed up. And that seems to be a recurring theme, i constantly do things in my dreams that I would just never do in my real life.

My dreams always end in a moment of extreme fear, something always happens that is uncontrollably scary and only then do I seem to tell myself 'wait, this is a dream, this can NOT be happening to me'
And then i wake and feel petrified for hours.

For a while now I would just sit and write lyrics that were inspired by these dreams and just sort of use them as artistic inspiration.

But now i'm loosing my mind and i am afraid of sleeping it's like a real life nightmare on elm street only I am my own Freddy.

Someone please tell me how i can control this,
I really do not like asking others for help. But im kinda begging here. I did not even think this kind of stuff was possible.
Please.

So, just let me say that you're not crazy... Hyper-vivid dreams happen sometimes and if your recall is good enough you'll remember them. Also, had a bunch of dream that felt like a whole lifetime. Just several examples - about a relationship with a woman from the first date, to love, to living at the beach in a dream house, to her being abducted and me travelling the world to find her (this is one dream); about aliens secretly invading earth, they're in fact human descendants, I search for them, they turn me into one of them, I have tens of superpowers, travel to their plant and back, being an ambassador between them and Earth humans, and then help Earth enforcement on secret missions (2nd dream); me being Son Goku from his childhood to fatherhood (I'm not even asian); etc. That's normal but can be pretty overwhelming when you wake up - even emotions like love or anger can leak into your waking life - and you can start the day with a weird feeling of love or anger for no reason...

You can be considered lucky even, these super dreams are rare to come by! And not everyone experienced them (ever).

No, about how to control it? Well, you'll need to be lucid for that, and to me it's seems that you were just on the verge of lucidity, but wasn't sure enough of yourself to cross it. After doing that horrible thing you realized it's a dream, but the DC managed to convince you otherwise. I had a dream once, in which I killed three assassins in a very very gruesome hands-on manner... My hand were covered in blood, and I was in shock, kneeling on the floor... Than I started thinking, "it's not you, you wouldn't do something like that". I was panicking, but because of that noticed some differences in the dream from real-life, and became lucid (like in your case). I than did several reality checks until I was 100% sure it's a dream - that's very important because without being sure you will easily loose lucidity and can be swayed by DCs that it's not a dream. After that, I decided to switch to a new dream, so I did my favorite method and ended up in a new scene with control and happy moods and all, still just as super-real. (My method is falling asleep into the void and building the scene there by imagination, but any sort of teleportation will work - through mirrors, screens, portals , whatever - you just need to be creative and understand that you have full control, without doubting yourself)

So, if you want to control dreams, especially super realistic or even more than realistic ones, you have to be lucid and really know that it's just a dream. After that, do whatever you want - wake up, or fix the bad dream, or create a new one - there is no limit. If something particular doesn't work (e.g. using a screen to teleport), be creative and use another way (a door, a mirror, etc.). Most importantly - really mean it, be sure in your ability. And remember that it's just a dream - no matter how real it seems, it's not, it can't harm you beyond the dream itself, so while you in the dream take control.

Well, you're right. Thankyou. I need to remember they are just dreams. But I still can't seem to shake the overwhelming fear when I wake.
I think I need just a few more tries, like I say I'm kind of there, but each time I feel like I do take control I make it so much worse. I could be just over thinking it. I have found myself teleporting from different 'scenes' but I'm not able to actively do it. It seems to be like I say I'm more of a passenger. I can see and feel and hear everything like I am really there, but it's like I'm strapped down to a chair watching it all happen, rather than making it happen.
Hopefully I make progress tonight.

Still sounds to me like a non-lucid dream. Many dreams are like that, feel like you aren't really present in them and just watching, and then when you wake up you remember it so it's seems like you were lucid, but this is not necessarily the case... Becoming lucid is something that happens within the dream, and you can't maintain it unless you're present there. Of course, not everything is going to be in your control on the first try - but just by being lucid it should feel like you're present there, and you'll have free will there and thus will be able to control at least your own choices.

Keep practicing, and really focus on the realization that it's a dream!

Jeez AshDay, that sounds really scary. I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of useful advice to you. I can only say that the few times I've had a lucid dream, there was absolutely no doubt it being just that.
Most of the dreams that I remember seem quite realistic to me, also the non lucid ones.
I'd say that setting the intention to recognize that you're dreaming before going to sleep is important to you. Good luck!

Hello there! i'm new to the forum and relatively new to lucid dreaming. I see that you are trying to control dreams to overcome these fears. That is not easy, and if you manage to control dreams, you will have a lot more non-lucid dreams - so these terrifying ones. But KNOWLEDGE IS A BIG WEAPON here. I want to convince you, and others to help me to convince you that you have nothing to fear. Talk inside your mind during day and before sleep - I will have a really nice sleep, I will have a really nice dream! Don't even think about scary stuff. Also nightmares can come from real world problems, your brain might be using them so you would face these problems and solve them. If you have some psychological problems, better go visit some experts. And one traditional stuff that should help you - chamomile tea. It is known and traditional remedy for nightmares.

More mindfulness during the day so it can carry over to your dreams.

I would also analyze the symbolism of your dreams on dreammoods.com and find out what they're telling you.

I would like to say something.

You were saying that you cannot control your dream,you feel''stuck'',
or you feel like ''passenger'' (that happened to me once).
Let me tell you,in that situations when you feel ''stuck'',you are
technically lucid(because definition of lucid dreaming is that you know
that you are dreaming),you just need to learn how to control them.
The best way to overcome that problem is to realize that you are
dreaming and you can do anything and there is noone to stop you.

I have read some other issues that you wrote(dream feelings when you
wake up,hyper dreams.....)

All of them are normal,don't worry about them.
Goodbye!

Aw man, that sounds just terrible! I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through that.

I went through a similar thing when I was about 4 years old. I would have nightmares every night and I was so terrified of sleeping that I would outright refuse to take a nap during naptime in pre-school, so they would make me massage the other kids to sleep and then do chores. Quite rude! :cheeky:

My nightmares consisted of zombies chasing me everywhere I went, and also nightmares where I thought I was still awake and I would feel a hand grab me and drag me down the hall or under the bed. Pretty scary stuff!

I decided eventually that I was going to face whatever the scary stuff was in my dream, I wasn't going to run from it anymore because I knew that it couldn't really hurt me. So I stopped during one dream and let a zombie bite me. I became a zombie too and then I had nothing left to fear, it was great! Remembering that your dreams are just dreams is a pretty good way to not be quite as scared, but I understand that it's much easier said than done!
You could try to fill your heart with love and compassion next time you have something scary happen in you dream, that works almost every time for me.

The main thing that you need to remember is that dream content is quite largely created by our emotions and our state of mind. So if you are in a frightened, panicked state of mind, worrying about nightmares, then you are actually creating a self-fulfilling prophecy! Try to relax, let go of the fear, maybe try some meditation before bed if you're into that. Or you could even try to repeat some positive affirmations before you sleep, "Tonight I am brave! I fear nothinG!", or, "Tonight I am going to have happy, peaceful dreams".

I hope that you can enjoy your dreams soon! You sound like a lucid master in the making to me. :content:

What Spock said.

I have doubt that you were actually lucid, but you must be absolutely sure and have conviction in yourself. A lot of it should come naturally, after you get accustomed to the dream state. Don't be afraid. Being afraid can make it worse. You just need confidence and conviction. You're almost there, I swear.

Oh no! I meant to say "I have NO doubt that you were actually lucid." What a terrible typo.
Sorry about that. I have no doubt that you were actually lucid.