I've Been Having a Serious Problem...
Okay. There is this one topic that has pervaded my LDs and non-LDs. A certain fantasy of mine. (I won't go deeper than that. ;).)
But I can't translate it to my dreams. I know, somebody call the wahhmbulance.
But it's worse than that. Everytime the topic even comes up, if I mention it to a DC or another DC mentions it because I thought about it, BOOM!!!
I wake up and find myself staring at the back of my eyelids. I've had multiple LDs screwed up by this because it happens to come up and the LD is over. And since I am so frustrated, I dwell on it more and I have more dreams ruined because it shows up in more dreams.
I used to MILD that it would happen in my next LD. Now it seems to be a curse.
Strangley, I've even woken up in non-lucids because the topic came up.
I don't really want to find a way to eliminate it from my LDs. I want to find away where it can come into my LDs without my waking.
And before I am told that 'Oh, it just excites you' consider this, once I just calmly mentioned it to a DC without any sort of action invlolved and it was over. (The dream.)
I know that that could be attributed to my expecting the dream to end, but it was before I realized that this 'certain topic' as I will call it was a dream ender. So that can't be it.
Please, any suggesstions/explanations are appreciated.