Thread: Calling all the Wilfully Frigid

Like anything in dreams, I'm sure it will appear now that you're wondering about it. I'm sure it imbedded itself in your subconscious the second you considered making this thread

I'm interested to hear some real experiences on this. I've never understood how people could subdue (or pretend to subdue in some cases ) such a powerful instinct. I get the "why". Just not the "how".

Originally Posted by Robot_Butler

Like anything in dreams, I'm sure it will appear now that you're wondering about it. I'm sure it imbedded itself in your subconscious the second you considered making this thread

Bastard. You're just trying to make it happen now, you prick.

By the way, if anyone else tries to pull a stunt like that - I can tell you, it will not work. I can recognise what you are doing and it will not affect my expectations in any way. Go away and find some other innocent soul to subvert.

Kind of feel like a moron but could you possibly be a little more clear?

how's your father = sex

Or was there something else that was not clear?

I would like to apologise to Robot Butler for being offensive rather than objective. However, the following must be said:

I was not offended by you having given me an answer I did not want. I object to what was at the very worst an attempt to influence the content of my dreams as some sort of humorous conquest of a frigid soul, and at the very best a totally flippant dismissal of my concerns and a callous disregard for the effect that altering my perception may have.

People who feel like any mention of religion or conservative values is comparable to “forcing one’s views upon another”, to the point where they can respond however rudely, inappropriately or disrespectfully as they wish – are responding hypocritically in the matter of forcing views.

Despite your disdain for religion and conservative values ,you need to give what you would equally and rightly demand of me, which is respect – if not for the values themselves, then at least for me and for my right to not be subjected to sexual material. I know it’s all a big joke to you, but that is comparable to ripping a Muslim woman’s headscarf off; or even more aptly – forcing someone to look at a pornographic magazine. The former would be considered utterly disrespectful and outrageous, whilst the latter would be a form of sexual abuse. In any case, it will not work as I will sooner stop practising LDing than be subjected to such.

I'd have to agree with Robot Butler. Because you are thinking about it (or in this case, thinking about NOT doing it in your dreams), it is mostly likely in your subsconscious and will, in result, probably make it's way into one of your dreams at some point or another (like nightmares, as you mentioned)

If anyone is genuinely prepared to help me out by providing a sensible answer to this question, I would very much appreciate your thoughts by private message.

Thanks.

I have a rather delicate question. It’s about – well, you know, how’s your father*.

This question would be best answered by those who are wilfully celibate (all two of you), but I imagine they might find it a little embarrassing. Naturally, I will assume that whoever answers is basing this upon research and anecdotes rather than their own experience.

The question is quite simply – if one does not wish to see anything of a how’s your father nature in their lucids, is it likely to appear out of the blue anyway? Is it something that turns up frequently and without fanfare, like nightmares?? I have so far never encountered any, but I’m not sure that this unspoilt run will last forever. Is it inevitable, or will expecting it not to appear cause it to not be so?

Thanking you for your thoughts.
Affectionately,
EDITED

P.S. Please no arguments about why I don’t want to – that’s a totally pointless exercise.

I think part of your problem, since you are taking this action, is that you are putting this behavior up on a mighty pedestal. Giving it a euphemism, asking for advice, telling yourself that the thoughts and words of others are going to have any effect whatsoever. This is not the way to go about controlling your dreams.

You need to approach this through the understanding that what is going to be happening is going to be based on your own worries and concerns, and harping on a lack of dream control and the fear of it all turning into sex is going to make you immediately think of these things, materialize what's necessary for them to happen, and cause you to go with the flow of the dream.

Instead, you need to start working on your dream stabilization, dream control, and dream motivation. What are these situations you're finding yourself lucid in? Are you pausing the dream to really just focus and become absolutely lucid so that you can have full control of your faculties and behavior and recall what your goals are?

What ARE you goals? Do you have exciting dream goals? Do you have things that you look so forward to doing that you truly understand that the sex would be a waste of time? You can jerk off while awake, but what can you do while you can do the impossible? Understand (since this appears to be your stance) that sex in dreams is a waste, that there are better things to do, and that you are going to do those better things. Have a list of goals, think of them every time you reality check. Remind yourself every night how incredible they are going to be, and think about how yet another orgasm pales in comparison to the impossible becoming possible.

Stabilize the dream. Once your lucidity is clear and stable, think of your goals. Don't think of your worries, focus on your goals. Just GET OVER sex, and challenge yourself with ways to accomplish other things in your dreams.

Yes, lucid sex is nice. Almost like real sex. But, I don't put in all of this effort, time, and work just to get off. For me, it's more than that. I don't LET myself get these instinctual distractions because to me, there are much better things to spend my lucids doing. Things where, at the end of the night, I won't have some simple memory of some simple pleasure my body experienced but I'll have a memory to be cherished that my mind accomplished.

(ps., if you want respect, you need to stop trolling the forums and thus earn respect. I'm going to keep an eye on this thread and lock it again if you can't behave yourself again. Maybe learning to control all your behavior will lead you to control your sexual behavior as well.)

okay so let me get this straight- you're worried about your lucid dreams turning sexual? If you really want to actually avoid sexual content in your lucid dreams (something I don't understand even remotely) then it shouldn't be any problem- unless, that is, as I suspect, you subconsciously DO want sexual content in your lucid dreams but for some reason feel you need to hide that part of yourself from the rest of yourself and the world. In that case, you would have the perfect formula for continuously having strange sexual anxiety dreams that would, as Shift said, be pretty much a waste of time.

My advice would be to relax. If sex comes, let it come. It will pass in time. the way to get rid of something in your dreams is not to force it down, but to allow it so completely that you don't "need it" anymore.

If you genuinely don't want to fuck anyone in your lucid dreams, then I don't see why you would do so, if that's what you are asking. If you are asking whether anything of a sexual nature is going to show up in your lucids, then the answer is, of course, maybe. Like the posters you dismissed so readily said, if you are thinking about it, it is liable to show up in dreams. If you don't have full control in your lucids, then things will happen outside of your control, and some of those things could be sexy things.

If anyone is genuinely prepared to help me out by providing a sensible answer to this question..

Okay, I'll try: Don't dwell on it. If you have a penis, maybe try jerking it before you go to sleep.

Originally Posted by paragon

I would like to apologise to Robot Butler for being offensive rather than objective. However, the following must be said:

I was not offended by you having given me an answer I did not want. I object to what was at the very worst an attempt to influence the content of my dreams as some sort of humorous conquest of a frigid soul, and at the very best a totally flippant dismissal of my concerns and a callous disregard for the effect that altering my perception may have.

People who feel like any mention of religion or conservative values is comparable to “forcing one’s views upon another”, to the point where they can respond however rudely, inappropriately or disrespectfully as they wish – are responding hypocritically in the matter of forcing views.

Despite your disdain for religion and conservative values ,you need to give what you would equally and rightly demand of me, which is respect – if not for the values themselves, then at least for me and for my right to not be subjected to sexual material. I know it’s all a big joke to you, but that is comparable to ripping a Muslim woman’s headscarf off; or even more aptly – forcing someone to look at a pornographic magazine. The former would be considered utterly disrespectful and outrageous, whilst the latter would be a form of sexual abuse. In any case, it will not work as I will sooner stop practising LDing than be subjected to such.

Oh, I wasn't offended by your response. I thought you were joking. Honestly, I don't really take anything seriously, so I hope you didn't feel like I was singling you out.

Is all that targeted at me, or people in general? I don't think there is anything wrong with celibacy. I think it is impractical and difficult, hence my inability to understand the "How" of it.

I do stand behind my original response, even though I presented it in a joking manner. The very fact that you are thinking/ worried about this is enough to make it appear in your dreams. Just pondering the topic shows that it is tumbling around in your mind somewhere.

The question is quite simply – if one does not wish to see anything of a how’s your father nature in their lucids, is it likely to appear out of the blue anyway? Is it something that turns up frequently and without fanfare, like nightmares??

Sometimes the very moment I get lucid the landscape literally FILLS with naked chicks. But for now I was able to resist the temptation.

If you have a penis, maybe try jerking it before you go to sleep.

Bleh.