Fear causes loss of control

When I dream, it's about 7 times out of 10 a nightmare. I'm used to it, had them all of my life. I've come to value my nightmares, I wouldn't want them to go away as they provide valuable insights and inspirations. In fact, most of my nightmares while horrific, are not as scary as they used to be.

However they do get in the way of dream control. I'm still in the baby stage of dream control, it's something I've only just consciously started trying to do only a few months ago. It took me a long, long time to feel comfortable with my nightmares and I felt I had to start with that before moving on to trying to control my dreams (even though I had dabbled in it before).

I am most likely to see horrific, scary things when I am not lucid but sometimes when I am lucid my fears become intensified, and anything I do see is suddenly 10x scarier than it normally would have been. This is something else I have slowly been trying to become accustomed to. Thing is, every time I do experience the fear it becomes a distraction that causes me to lose control of the events in the dream and breaks my lucidity.

For example, if I see someone I love in a dream I will try to keep control over the dream to avoid them becoming distorted or messed up, sometimes by behaving around them as I would if I were awake and pretending for that moment I am awake with them. I usually prefer not to see anyone I love in a dream though, and the fear of seeing them messed up often causes it to happen. At that point, all control is lost as I just abort the dream or go into fight or flight mode and lose my dream awareness. It's like an instinct, and I often wake up wishing I had persisted and not given in to that instinct. After all, none of it is real so there really is nothing to fear.

Hmm...a lot for me to address.

That SO stinks that most of your dreams are nightmares! I do have "bad" dreams sometimes, usually involve bugs, but I am sure they do not measure up to yours. For me, when there is something scary in my dream while I am lucid, it is hard for me to not wake myself up...and also hard for me to just leave and forget about it. My fears make the worst of it, so I try to ignore it as best as I can, you should too. That's great that your nightmares aren't as bad as they used to be, often, you get less and less nightmares as you get older, you seem to be one of the unfortuanate some that still get a lot, but at least they aren't as bad.

Yes, I am a pretty good LDer, but if there is something scary in it...somtimes it's just hard to forget about it, and move on. Maybe try laughing in your dream....that could totally change what's scary in your dream.

I think that's it's normal to be very scared of things in your dream...for whatever reason, emotions in general are intensified.

And, I agree, just stay away from those that you love in your dreams, go about your dream, doing fun, lucid things. You'll see them again, in real life, after all, once you wake up :D! I have this issue too, where I'm afraid that some person will get messed up, if I'm with a guy, he'll turn into a girl! Or, leave and I can't find him!

i disagree with LDS.
you should never ignore your fears in dreams, because dreams are the best place in which to face them. you can be creative in how you handle this emotion, and your waking state will benefit from it.
the antidote to fear is interest - you said some of your nightmares provide valuable insights and inspirations. work with this!
and don't avoid people you love in dreams just because you expect their appearance to be distorted. if that's what you expect then that's probably what will happen, but you could take note of the way you perceive this person and learn from that or just wait to encounter a more stable version of them.

though most of my lucid dreams are pleasant, the ones that involve intense fear and characters who attack me sometimes are as enjoyable as their peaceful counterparts. there is something about facing what threatens to end your life when you know you will wake up from it but can still take in the whole experience.

if you are getting distracted by these elements and losing control, practice different ways in confronting these things and turn the quality of these dreams into the positive. the more you interact with what scares you the more opportunities you will have to realize that it is illusory and that you can allow the feeling of fear to dissipate with practice.

to practice dream control in these instances, try either neutralizing something or waiting for it to change into something else.

i don't like fighting in dreams, so when a character is attacking me i try to hold out my hand and either suspend them in the air with telekinesis or just expect their attack to not happen at all. i also use emotional reverses in nightmares - if i convey affection and compassion onto something that is running towards me, whatever it is will be affected by that.

your expectations will shape the outcome of negative elements in dreams - if you work with this you probably won't have that fight or flight instinct kick in and lose lucidity.


are there any specific types of nightmares that you normally have?

i dont really have nightmares, but i have a suggestion.
pick up the book Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen Laberge. its the best book about dreaming on this earth hands down. he has a part of the book dedicated to nightmares and how to control or direct them. he teaches you how to use nightmares as a way to take more control over your dream life. you kind of sound like you like having your nightmares? either way you should buy the book, it holds amazing research and information.

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Originally Posted by FluBB

its the best book about dreaming on this earth hands down.

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what. no it is not.

hehe i apologize. i should be more specific. the best book about lucid dreaming and the research behind it. better?

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Originally Posted by cygnus

what. no it is not.

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... Serious!!?!?!?!! :shock:

Do tell, if there's something better, what is it?

I think it's the other way around. The loss of control came before the fear.
If you're in a dream Lucid, and afraid... Well, the fear is a display of a lack of control. And I don't necessarily mean control of the environment.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FluBB

its the best book about dreaming on this earth hands down.

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i'm not going to name books because "the best book on this earth" is a matter of opinion, that was what i meant to say.