A Painful and Beautiful Journey in One's Mind 10-11/04/2011

**sinemac** · 04-16-2011 04:16 PM

I feel this may be worth sharing, sorry if others feel it isn't, but I hope people can gain some entertainment, inspiration or insight from this dream.

A painful and Beautiful Journey in One's Mind

Entry 10-11/04/2011
Okay, this one was a bit disjointed, I am typing it as best as I can put it together. Actually, I do that with all dreams really, I don't quite think normally, so my dreams are constructed a bit differently. Sorry for any confusion this causes.
Onto the dream.

I was running, running, running... It felt like an eternity I ran for, with faces running through my mind, motivating me to continue sprinting for my goal. Or more away from my threat. I knew not what the threat was, only that it was threatening. After what felt like a lifetime, the threat vanished.

I was in a circular room, think of the Jedi Council's chamber from the Star Wars films, but less of the plastic look, more brickwork, like a roundhouse, but in modernist style I guess. I sank to my knees between two protrusions in the wall, and that is when I saw her. She was in a body hugging leather outfit ala Trinity in The Matrix films, but she had the body and face of Georgia.. This pulled me into the dream, I was beginning to lose the dream before she appeared, but then she did, and it was... Angelic. She offered me her hand, pulled me up, and we kept running. The threat was back, but I hardly noticed it, we ran for eternity but it felt like a second, it was a joy, what was a minute became an hour before I was running with her and became a second once I was with her. We ran and ran, until we settled on a place to stay. It was an outpost, think of it as being similar to a cave with basic ammenites (these are a recurring set of locations in my dream history, regardless of which canonical story arc I am in).

We stayed there, and I held her, and time stood still as she held me. The scene changed, and we were in the living room where we spent the best part of two days hodling each other before she split with me... Flash back to the cave and she whispered to me "Its time for us to go now". We got up, trekked out, and through dream physics, left the cave and entered straight back into the circular room. Only this time I was mortally wounded. I was bleeding from my gut, think of the scene in Reservoir Dogs where Mr Orange has been gutshot and is bleeding out on the warehouse floor. I am dying and she is gone. She is gone like she will always go when it comes her time to help me with my problems. I am bleeding out, the dream is fading, fading, fading...

It comes back in a city. My clothes are bloodsoaked, my breathing is ragged, but the people pay no notice. As I walk my clothes are cleansed, my world brightens, and there she is again. As she was in the happy days. She takes my hand, I am an infant in this world, despite being older than her, she is ageless and timeless. Cut back to the room and there is a meeting of families, although no one in either group is a member of either of our actual families. This is a family of revolutionaries, and I am to marry her. I know this because I know I asked her a minute ago, it didn't happen in the dream, but it happened in my mind in the dream. She and I take to a corner, and hold each other. There is laughter. A drink is poured. More laughter. Her perfume gets in my nostrils, its scent reminds me of the smell of her hair as I held her just before we split. The texture of her clothing, though it is leather to the eye, is that of her skin, of her shorts when we slept in each others arms, of her bra as she moved my hands to her heart while watching a movie. And she turns and looks in my eyes and she loves me.

Split and she vanishes, I am alone, it is unbearably hot and bright outside, I can't hold the dream, so much grief, so alone in the world, I am nothing, I am no one, I destroyed the one good thing I ever had, so much grief, so much self pity, such self hate... Such love. Such love for her, so unconditional, and it kills me. That is the last thought as the dream fades, I love her, and my love for her is destroying me, it eats away at my mind and my heart as I know that she will never even look upon me that way again. And she never gave a reason...

That is the best translation into language I can give of the dream, sorry if it does not make sense. Pax vobiscum.

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**tommo** · 04-25-2011 05:58 PM

Great read. Thanks for that!
I had a similarly themed dream last night, coincidentally.=
Different, but it touched me in the same way that I'm sure yours did.

**Dreamdreamdream17** · 04-28-2011 12:07 AM

That sounds like a beautiful dream. I love the way you have written it, it makes the dream so much more vivid to imagine, your descriptiveness makes the passage sound poetic.

**sinemac** · 04-29-2011 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by tommo

Great read. Thanks for that!
I had a similarly themed dream last night, coincidentally.=
Different, but it touched me in the same way that I'm sure yours did.

That is indeed interesting, do you have a DJ link for the particular dream? It was a mix of good and bad for me, as I think the text illustrates. Hmm, text illustrates. Interesting combination.

Originally Posted by Dreamdreamdream17

That sounds like a beautiful dream. I love the way you have written it, it makes the dream so much more vivid to imagine, your descriptiveness makes the passage sound poetic.

It was beautiful. But not entirely pleasant. Thank you, I was simply trying to explain it in the way that could come as close as possible to showing others what I experienced. this is all a bit hard for me, because for me, dreamscapes are a bit different to others who LD, in that others seem to be details people that "see" the world, I infer the world from my feelings, but I can narrow it down to picking what colour a hairpin is. I just don't see the hairpin, I feel it. I dunno, it is hard to explain. Any attempt at poetry was unintentional though, although my writing style has been heavily influenced by the verse I have penned over the years... So I guess that is that.

Thank you for the feedback folks, I am wondering, if I experience a sequel (which may or may not fit this story arc but would be a sequel emotionally) if fellow DVers would like me to share it?

**tommo** · 04-29-2011 04:10 PM

Yes, definitely share it.

I don't have a DJ link for mine. Haven't written down my dreams for over a year now. I've got a pretty good memory so when I try to recall my dreams from the night I'll remember them for months most of the time.
I'll probably get back to writing the good ones though, just gotta get a good sleep schedule first lol

**sinemac** · 04-29-2011 04:54 PM

That is fair enough, for me it is more a case of "What sleep schedule?" but I can still dream properly from time to time... Something makes me think I will be dreaming again soon, I am reading again (both historical texts and Scot Pilgrim comics, so a fair balance I say) and have been doing things in the world recently (including rickrolling an Apple Store) so my mind should be active enough to trigger interesting dreams aagain

If you get the chance to write that dream down, I wouldn't mind a read

**tommo** · 04-29-2011 06:17 PM

I'll write it tomorrow. Also, did you videotape that rickroll? haha would be awesome.

**sinemac** · 04-29-2011 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by tommo

I'll write it tomorrow. Also, did you videotape that rickroll? haha would be awesome.

We did, it is online, but not on youtube (yet). When my mate uploads it, I am sure she will tell me, and then I will pass it on

Only about 4 of us, but it drew a fair crowd by the end

We also rickrolled a sci fi bookstore, crash tackled a guy dressed as Master Chief, danced across the city's main road, had the two female members in the group (both of whom have boyfriends) make out for about 20 minutes in front of an extremist church and many other things that don't immediately come to mind. Really a day of doing things for the sake of it, but we got a lot of compliments. Guess it shows how sleepy this town is

**tommo** · 04-30-2011 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by sinemac

We did, it is online, but not on youtube (yet). When my mate uploads it, I am sure she will tell me, and then I will pass it on

Only about 4 of us, but it drew a fair crowd by the end

We also rickrolled a sci fi bookstore, crash tackled a guy dressed as Master Chief, danced across the city's main road, had the two female members in the group (both of whom have boyfriends) make out for about 20 minutes in front of an extremist church and many other things that don't immediately come to mind. Really a day of doing things for the sake of it, but we got a lot of compliments. Guess it shows how sleepy this town is

haha that's awesome. Would appreciate the girls making out video too

**sinemac** · 04-30-2011 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by tommo

haha that's awesome. Would appreciate the girls making out video too

Hahahahaa didn't get a video of that bit mate...

Pity, because, being completely objective here, one of them is a 7.5/10 and the other is about a 46/10...

**tommo** · 04-30-2011 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by sinemac

Hahahahaa didn't get a video of that bit mate...

one of them is a 7.5/10 and the other is about a 46/10...

Originally Posted by sinemac

Hahahahaa didn't get a video of that bit mate...46/10

Originally Posted by sinemac

didn't get a video of that...46/10

Originally Posted by sinemac

didn't get a video of that

????

haha jk, damn that sucks

I'll write up that DJ entry now. What I can remember anyway.

**sinemac** · 04-30-2011 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by tommo

????

haha jk, damn that sucks

I'll write up that DJ entry now. What I can remember anyway.

Hahahaha, if it makes you feel any better, through the crimes of photography she generally only looks about 6 to 9/10 in photos and videos (although the 7.5 looks about 8 or 9/10 in photos)... So not as big a loss that you don't have a vid... Just a much bigger loss that you couldn't be there to see it

**tommo** · 04-30-2011 01:37 PM

gee thanks haha. It is weird with video and photos that people can look way better or worse.

**sinemac** · 04-30-2011 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by tommo

gee thanks haha. It is weird with video and photos that people can look way better or worse.

I know... It is most sad... Especially when the 46 lives 2 hours away...

**tommo** · 04-30-2011 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by sinemac

I know... It is most sad... Especially when the 46 lives 2 hours away...

2 hours, 2 shmowers. hehe
Nah that is shit, I know how you feel.

I just tried writing the dream. I realised I really can't remember it enough to write it in words.
I'm sure I'll have a similar one soon as well, coz I have had a few similar ones already in the last couple of months.
The most recent one was just more similar to yours, emotionally than the others.

**sinemac** · 04-30-2011 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by tommo

2 hours, 2 shmowers. hehe
Nah that is shit, I know how you feel.

I just tried writing the dream. I realised I really can't remember it enough to write it in words.
I'm sure I'll have a similar one soon as well, coz I have had a few similar ones already in the last couple of months.
The most recent one was just more similar to yours, emotionally than the others.

Ahahaahahah fair enough..... Well when you do experience similar, go ahead and write!

Oh, and on the two hours thing... Through the course of this evening a bro and myself are already planning a potential hookup between little old me and 46.... So it may be 2 shmowers yet...

**tommo** · 05-01-2011 04:33 AM

Originally Posted by sinemac

Ahahaahahah fair enough..... Well when you do experience similar, go ahead and write!

Oh, and on the two hours thing... Through the course of this evening a bro and myself are already planning a potential hookup between little old me and 46.... So it may be 2 shmowers yet...

haha nice man! Good luck.

I just had another dream like this last night. But again, can't put it in to words.
Just one scene, but barely, because it wasn't really realistic if you know what I mean, hard to relate in words.

I'll try though,
Me and this girl were in a bed at some camp or cabin thing, everything was pitch black except for the bed, which had some light shining on it from somewhere unknown.
As I got in to the bed she wrapped her arms around me and it was the best feeling I've ever felt in my life.
After some timeless amount of time, I think I had fallen asleep.
When I awoke she was yelling at me words I couldn't hear.

I have the feeling she thought I was someone else.

I felt absolutely terrible for the rest of the dream, but also wondering if maybe it was an excuse and she knew it was me the whole time, she just didn't want to acknowledge it.

Sorry for that crappy report, when my sleep isn't consistent my dreams are really really disconnected from reality lol The rest of it is a blur of nonsensical stuff which made sense while I was dreaming.

**sinemac** · 05-01-2011 06:16 AM

Hahahaha the three main hitches would be the fact that I have been out of the dating game for over 6 months and as such will probably be quite shite, the fact that she is apparently a commitment-phobe, and the fact that according to her facebook profile she is "married" to some chunky guy... Which I dunno whether it is a joke, or a casual relationship she would break, or a more serious one that won't break :/

That dream sounds interesting, I can relate to the dreams disconnected from reality

Fair enough, start recording them and translating them will come easier

**tommo** · 05-01-2011 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by sinemac

Hahahaha the three main hitches would be the fact that I have been out of the dating game for over 6 months and as such will probably be quite shite, the fact that she is apparently a commitment-phobe, and the fact that according to her facebook profile she is "married" to some chunky guy... Which I dunno whether it is a joke, or a casual relationship she would break, or a more serious one that won't break :/

That dream sounds interesting, I can relate to the dreams disconnected from reality

Fair enough, start recording them and translating them will come easier

married shmarried haha.

Yeah I will start recording some dreams I think. Just hard to keep the habit.

**sinemac** · 05-01-2011 08:00 AM

Indeed a hard habit to keep a track of

....
And normally I would take that approach, generally "married" on FB is a joke, but I'm not 100% sure that it isn't a relationship in this one

Look forward to reading more DJ entries

**KristaNicole07** · 05-02-2011 02:17 AM

Very beautiful and painful indeed, sinemac. I enjoyed reading this.

**sinemac** · 05-02-2011 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by KristaNicole07

Very beautiful and painful indeed, sinemac. I enjoyed reading this.

Thank you kindly... I haven't remembered dreams lately... And to tommo, I have decided to friendzone the 46, I kinda realised that the person I wanted before is worth giving up on the 46 for... Which is okay, she is realistically about a 50, but because of my feelings towards her, that is elevated to roughly ∞... So wish me luck I guess..

If I have any sequel to this dream, or other interesting dreams, I will post them here again if people want.

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